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We kicked and stomped on him on the floor, bravely and fairly. And also like real men, we quickly disbanded and ran away when I heard the Principal coming.

Rai ran for the elevator, and like a sly bastard he didn't wait for me. I yelled at him to not close those doors, but he did anyway, mockingly apologizing, and saying the elevator was for mobility-challenged students only, I didn't count since I didn't have missing limbs. Too angry and out-of-breath to make a good retort, I just whined, 'Why You~ Little F*cking Git!' ...I still had a little bit of a Scottish accent.

I had to use the emergency stairs instead, but before I ducked through the door, I heard the Principal comforting and picking Hanzou up, ..and if I wasn't mistaken, I thought I heard him crying in her arms.

Shooting out at the bottom floor, I ran smack into a girl from my class, knocking off her spectacles and giving us both a splitting headache. We yelled at each other in perfect synchronicity; “Watch it!”, “No, you watch it!”, “You watch it first!”, then came a long silence of disbelief between us, before suddenly, we laughed, we just forgot everything else in the world and laughed, thinking it was the most amazing thing that ever happened to us.

I picked up her spectacles, and she lifted me up. I felt and softly dusted her huge round glasses with my tie, and as she gently took them from me and put them on, she happily introduced herself as “Kaori! Kaori Setou! You must be Satou, Lionel Satou from the back row. The Lion from Scotland.”

I didn't know I had such an embarrassing nom de guerre. But it turned out my loud, prideful, unrefined manners and apparent harem of girls in the back row.. was not something that went unnoticed in the least.

Kaori and I talked about ..everything we had to talk about. From how we hated to be in a school for disabled students, to the latest gossip about who was handsome, and which girl looked the cutest. Of course I couldn't see that, but.. Kaori could; she had sight, albeit poor. She described her vision as.. 'drowning in a well very slowly'.

I told her about how I learned to “see”, how when I was little, my older brother Akira would teach me what 'seeing' was. Huh, I remember really looking up to him then, how much I let myself rely on him. He held up seven fingers, I felt his hands and counted them aloud, one by one. Then he asked me to do the same, but hold up a different number of fingers. I did. And he guessed correctly. I didn't understand how he could know without touching my fingers, I kept holding up different numbers, over and over again, and he would guess correctly each time.

Akira told me that.. those two, soft, wet things in my face, above my nose, were called 'eyes'. Akira was using his eyes to 'see'. Akira said that, “To see, is to touch something without touching it, to hear someone without hearing him. To feel something, without knowing it.”

“I want to 'see'.” I said that, ..once, ..then twice, ..then over and over again. It became... all I ever wanted. My Pa would get angry at Akira for what he taught me, but he only raised his voice when speaking to me, scolding me to never open my mouth again, if all I wanted to talk about was 'seeing'.

I was born blind. My Ma.. I think she was disappointed in me. ..She's Japanese, and I heard my Pa yelling about it once, he was drunk and blaming her for having “tainted blood”. I blamed myself for opening my mouth, and making Ma and Pa fight, while Akira held me and covered my ears.

Akira, he.. tried many things, ..he didn't stop trying. Because I made him promise, that on my coming birthday, I could... “see”, my brother.

When my birthday came, the best he could do was.. wear the biggest Christmas ornament bell we had. It gave him a loud but... calming sound, every time he moved. And in the incredible serenity of those beautiful ringing echoes, for an instant, for just one bright glimpse, I swear I could see the shape of Akira's face, and Ma's, and Pa's, and the kitchen table and chairs, the birthday cake and candles, the presents... my whole world... for just one instant, I saw everything.

That was also the first time my eyes blinked with tears, and my Ma would hold me and ask me what was wrong. I told her nothing was wrong, not at all, everything was right for the first time. ..Everything was alright, I was... happy, …..I got my wish.

Kaori cried next to me on the garden bench, on this very one in fact, when I told her about my seventh birthday. She apologized quickly, but said that, when she was six, she started losing her sight in one eye, the other one slowly went dark when she was six-and-a-half.

But she still had sight in both of them, it's not until she's about thirty years old will she go completely blind. She exclaimed with what sounded like a smile, before slowly starting to whimper again, and then hid her face in her hands, crying desperately.

I put my arm over her shoulder, rubbing and patting her back, trying to comfort her. But Kaori kept apologizing, and said she'll be fine, even when she was most evidently not. She told me to go get some chocolate milk, from the vending machine in the corridor behind us, she'll pay for her own. I told her I'd go only if it would be my treat... after a brief silence, she agreed.. softly thanking me.

As I left, Hanzou passed by and noticed Kaori. He talked to her while I took my time, quite surprised and pleased that the vending machines were Brailled and voiced. When I got back, Hanzou earned himself another good beating, he was insulting her and saying she didn't deserve to cry, he was.. a monster.

I dropped the drinks, knocked him over and pinned him on the grass, and gave him the most thorough, passionate, sweet-loving licking like you've never seen. ..I meant, I connected my fists repeatedly to his face, until my knuckles felt numb. Until his mask came off, which was his cue to go berserk and overpower me, bashing my head on the ground.

As Kaori screamed and pleaded, we only stopped clawing and breaking each other's faces when Kaori got hit, ..I don't know if it was me or Hanzou, but one of us definitely hit her, silencing her in pain.

He got off of me, brushing against the grass to pick up his mask and hat. I reached for Kaori, but she told me she was alright. Instead, she held me as I staggered to my feet, and she gently put my swollen, shaking arm over her shoulder, walking us to the School Doctor. She said I looked horrible, I was bruised and bleeding, though I couldn't feel it myself, I had lost all sensation in my face.

To my great surprise, she waited for Hanzou. He got up on his own, and presumably put his mask back on. And then there was that long awkward silence, .....; we were all going to the School Doctor, it's stupid to go the long way around to avoid each other, and we'd both definitely snitch the other one out.

Then, to my greater surprise, Kaori reached out, and told Hanzou to take her hand.

He walked up to us.. slowly... and quietly.., he took her hand. That moment, in that one soundless trusting moment between us... I couldn't hate Hanzou anymore. -- We didn't say anything at all, we just understood each other. The three of us, stumbling but supported, walked side-by-side, and found our way forwards... forever as friends.

One year later, Hanzou decided what we should do with our time at Yamaku, he made it his mission; to be there for every troubled student who needed a helping hand, to let them enjoy their youth as much as possible, and show that there is always someone willing to reach out and help you.

Together, with the Principal's blessing, we established the new “Three-Musketeers-Trio Student Council”, and coaxed Shizuo and Sasha to join in our mission.

How successful our attempts were... well, ..at least we've inspired the second-year and first-year class reps to have similar mindsets.

During the festival, and to celebrate a whole month of work and preparation for the most “enriching” festival the school had ever seen, Hanzou designated the roof as 'Off Limits', while Kaori dragged blankets and pillows up the stairs, along with a bottle of.. errm, something, and.. napkins and glasses. It was a bottle of tea. Yeah, that's what that was.

“We... errm, we shared... it was a special moment, between the three of us. Lying on the blankets, and just-- listening to the fireworks. I didn't do anything that the Principal needs to know about. Nope. Nothing at all. The Principal has nothing to worry abo-”

“I thought you and Kaori made love, while Hanzou watched.”

“Iwanako!”

“H-huh?”


The three of you... abusing the power I trusted you with..... Perhaps a counseling session is in order.

“Well.. great, you had to mention what you heard when we... err,”

“When you and Kaori made love, and I watched?”


A Counseling Session! For All Of You!

“Y-You know what? Iwanako? Please keep quiet.”

“...okay.”

“L-Lionel?”

“What, Iwanako?”

“A-are you.. happy? Going home?”

“Wha... of course!”

“But you don't... it sounds like, you've found your family here.”

Iwanako's question instills a silence, before... before Lionel-- brushes his cuffs against his eyes.., softly crying.

“L-Lionel? I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-”

“No.. it's alright Iwanako. It's not your fault...”

“What.. what happened? Lionel? Why did you come to Yamaku? ..Why did Scotland become your Isle of Hope and Tears?”

Lionel calms himself, his tears slowly stop.

Then, steadily, he speaks.

“I never told you before.. but, there was someone, ...someone special to me, who betrayed me.”

“When I was in middle school, in a prestigious, expensive, middle school.., I was a victim.”

“I was always favored by the teachers, even if I didn't deserve it. They always waited for me before starting classes or activities, I couldn't really hurry without running into a wall. So they had to wait.”

“All that special treatment I got, angered my friends, until they started to turn on me, one by one. My beautiful wooden cane, that Grandpa gave me for my birthday.. they broke it.

So many times they took my things right out of my grasp, I had so many of my belongings tossed around and dropped, I even had a pair of spectacles that my cousin gave me, I wore it because it meant something to me. And when they broke it, along with my cane. That was it.

I crawled and searched for it, as they sat around and laughed, and when I found it, I picked it up, and smacked them in their faces with the sharp splintered end. I beat them as they begged for me to stop, their pathetic voices angered me so much, I didn't even care that I was beating a girl.

I almost blinded her in one eye. My other classmates had their lips cut, their noses broken, ..one didn't come out of his room for a month. ..The teachers who went out of their way to accommodate me.. turned on me viciously.

You can imagine what else my Pa would have done.

Being expelled meant nothing to me, I hated those stuck-ups anyway. But getting sued by vultures, and having a disabled son become even more of a shame, the man I had to call 'Pa', as a start, shouted at me until my ears felt like they were bleeding.

Ma locked me in the shed under the stairs, so Pa couldn't beat me with the butt of his hunting rifle.

And while they shouted and threatened each other, all I could think of.. was that Pa would never beat Akira, ..and Ma would never lock him in the shed. No matter what he did wrong.

I took a sharp tool, a screwdriver, ..or whatever it was, and jammed it into the walls. Clawing out raised dots, in every inch of musty wood I smelled, while locked in the shed under the stairs. Over and over again, a hundred times over. The very words I kept telling myself, 'I AM NOT AT FAULT'.

Days.. weeks... months later, when I didn't have to be locked in the shed anymore when Pa was around. I heard a curious tapping at the door, before the doorbell rang out and startled me.

I ran and hid at the top of the stairs, listening intently as Ma answered the door.

The door opened to a rush of cold autumn wind, and Ma suddenly spoke in Japanese, to my curious surprise. To my greater surprise, the woman at the door replied politely in Japanese. But the deepest surprise, was hearing her gentle cane, tapping on our floor, as she slowly walked into my life.

Her name was Yuki... she was to be my private tutor.

After bowing to her, and.. hearing her do the same.., --which was a little strange, every time we did that-- I introduced myself as Akira, --I don't know why, maybe I wanted her to pretend I had sight like him, or I was.. ashamed, that I was just like her.

But she played along, even as Ma was unhappy with me again. Yuki asked me where my handsome little brother 'Lionel' was. I told her that I'm handsome, forgetting I just said I was Akira. But she kept playing with me, as I led her around the house, pretending I could see what I couldn't, telling her this and that, while she learned to navigate our home.

Eventually, I had to be 'Lionel' again, and.. be blind again. She asked me once more, where 'Lionel' was. I got angry, and said “Lionel is locked in the shed under the stairs. He can't come out.”

Yuki sounded sad to hear it, her breathing became a slight sigh, her shoulders falling as her arms brushed her clothing. She asked softly, if I could take her to him. ...I said yes.

I felt my way to the storage shed, pulling her hand with me. As I slowly.. turned the knob, and opened the small creaking door.. that lead into the shed.

She instinctively felt the wood for guidance, before pulling back suddenly, she must have... but she put her hand on the wood again, feeling her way. I listened to the sound of her soft fingertips, so quietly brushing over the words I wanted to scream at Ma and Pa...

Then, gently, I felt her fingers against my cheek.. my face.. touched.. on the verge of tears and sobbing... The warmth of her fingers... as she softly felt who I was...

“Lionel..” she whispered, “You can come out now.”

“No.. I can't.”


“It's alright, ..don't be scared.. I'll protect you.”

“Do you promise?”


She held me... in her warm, soft embrace...

“I promise.”


I gave in... and she listened to tears falling on her shoulders.

She took my hand... held it tight..... and lead me home.

[Insert Song: You'll Be In My Heart by Celtic Woman]

Spending time with Yuki.. gave my life happiness. She would be patient with me, no matter how thick-headed or blunt I was. And I would listen to her, even if I didn't understand at all the famous historical person or natural phenomena of light she was talking about.

Normally in school, if I kept asking the teacher to repeat something because I didn't understand it the first few hundred times, I'd get a pointy piece of paper, or a.. pencil thrown at me by my classmates. But with Yuki.. I'd hear her gently explain again, in a slightly different way each time, slowly going over a previous chapter if needed, she'd even think of brilliant analogies and odd mnemonics to help me.

One night, while she was staying over with us, I asked her if... if I could, ...if her nose was itchy, because I could scratch it for her. …, After a moment of unnerving silence, I think she understood that I.. wanted to 'see' her face. With a trusting warmth, she gently beckoned me to come close, then held my trembling palm, and brushed her cheek softly against my fingers.

She was... truly.. beautiful...

That night, together on Grandpa's rocking chair, as she let me sleep on her shoulder, while we listened to her albums of classical music, I think.. it was with Bach's cello solo 1011, “Vorspier” ..no, no it was in... “Sarabande”, that I decided, my heart belonged to her. Forever... It was the last beautiful thought I had.. before I peacefully fell asleep.

She remembered her way in our house, by the unique creaks of each of our floorboards, as she cradled me to bed. And if I didn't dream it... she kissed me on the head.

I had a dream about Yuki... about playing with her in a quartet. It was a beautiful dream, I wore a golden wedding ring from her heart, and she wore a silver one from my soul. In that dream, I could hear what golden sunlight was, and felt how silver snow flowed. And we were together, playing in a quartet, with a little boy and a little girl. Maybe they were our children... maybe our reflection and shadow in the raindrops and puddles, but whoever they were, they were magical on their strings, just as we were. And as we played the beautiful cliché “Pachelbel's Canon in D major”, minus the Gigue, my dream became my reality. I promised myself... that I would make it happen.

[Insert Song: Pachelbel's Canon (Quartet) by Lionel on Cello & Yuki on Violin (First String) with two other]

I woke up a changed person, where before I would simply sit around folding paper cranes, I instead went and picked up my textbooks and studied diligently, determined not to disappoint Yuki. ..Of course, I had no idea when morning was, and I let Yuki borrow my Borg-Cube alarm clock that had digital narration, so I ended up bothering everyone in the house when I started my day at three or four in the morning.

[Insert Song: Best In Me by Blue]

To move around quicker and save time, I started relying more and more on echolocation, abandoning canes altogether. When I was younger, I would use toys that made sci-fi noises, then I found a batman-submarine bath toy, it made this clicking sound that was just right; not too soft, not too sharp, and small enough to tie on my belt. It annoyed everyone in the house at all times in the day, and gave them another reason to be happy when I was just sitting down and studying quietly.

At first it was just minutes at a time, then it was hours every day when I would concentrate on my textbooks. My grasp on the lessons tightened each time I threw myself at the equations, picking at the questions until I got an idea what the answer was. I stopped typing half-baked answers or deciding A-B-C-Ds at random in her mock tests. I swore that all her hard work put into teaching me would not be wasted.

Sometimes, she fell asleep at my desk, too tired from her work, staggering home late from my Pa's company, and lost all her waking strength checking if my answers were true or false. I felt her weary shoulders, her tired hands... With an honest heart, I brought up a cup of warm English tea, along with a healthy mayo sandwich. Gently setting them on the table.. and waited by her side... even if it would take forever.

Months and months later, after all the hard work, of believing and trusting the beauty in my heart, came a turn of the season. In the last weeks of December, when the official, international-level, exam results came back, a letter of acceptance followed it; A letter from Yamaku Academy, a Japanese school for challenged children, a 'second chance' to further my education. ..My Ma cried in happiness.

To celebrate, Yuki and I ran in the snow and visited town on Christmas Eve, with the day after being the most precious day in winter, besides my birthday.

[Insert Song: U Make Me Wanna by Blue]

There was this huge Christmas tree, encircled by an expensive train set in the jewelry shop, --well, the tree was actually pretty small, and.. plastic-- but it had all kinds of valuable ornaments and intricate decorations dangling on its branches. Real gem stones and actual diamonds, each one felt a little cold, and had many hard edges.

Ma and Pa would scold me if I tried to jingle or feel every one of them, but Yuki joined in with me, and we got chased off when they thought we were stealing them. --I think they never quite saw that we were blind, Yuki trusted my echolocation-skills completely and kept her cane withdrawn.

We ran out laughing, as they hollered at us, that we could come back only if we wanted to buy something. Mockingly, I asked Yuki loudly if there was anything she wanted, ..I didn't think she actually did.., she said that it would be nice if, for Christmas, she got something made of jade. Then she wondered if Akira told me to ask her, and it completely ruined the mood.

I was tired of my brother, he became too good to play with me anymore, perfect as can be, and handsome as the devil. He was in the same program like Yuki, studying and working all the time at Pa's company, and it justified him ignoring me and kicking me out of his room. And yet, everyone liked him, they couldn't see what a giant bunghole he was, and still is, nothing more than a prideful upstart long-haired pretty boy, and all just because he could work with Pa. I said all that and more, grumping and mumbling to Yuki. She found me endearing though, and teased me, asking if I was jealous of Akira.

I shouted that I was not, and quickly strode on ahead, pulling her along with me when I tripped over a log, we both reached quickly to protect each other, and fell into a warm, tight embrace in the snow.

[Insert Song: La Vie En Rose by Cyndi Lauper]

“I love you, Yuki. ...I always have.”

I whispered to her, against the cold... in her warmth...

I sang her a song.. a song about us, about playing in a quartet.. A song from my heart.


She answered.. coldly.

She told me she was happy, that I had such innocent feelings for her, but she was sorry, because love was a matter circumstance. There was nothing she could do to return my love, and there was nothing to do but move on from it.

The winter wind howled at us, as she picked me up.. ever coldly.

I cried quietly, alone in the cold. She extended her cane, tapped it on the road, and held my hand. ...Walking on soft crystals of a snow covered road, I pretended we were together forever, for one last time, ...on a long long road ..that never lead to our future together.


That night, I dreamt of nothing.

But I awoke the next day, again at three or four in the morning, feeling my heart beating with an idea, and the desire to fulfill it racing through my mind.

I waited until it became eight or nine before I quickly dressed myself, forgetting about breakfast or washing up, and ran out to town.

I tripped more than once, again on that same stupid log, driving my face into the snow over and over again, I heard Pa in the depths of my brain, insulting me that I was stubborn to not use a cane. But I forced myself up, I could feel my hands and face burning with pain, my clothes were wet and freezing. -- I forced myself to keep running.

Town was quiet when I arrived, there was still time to earn a bit more. I've been making money on my own for a while, helping folks put up their Christmas decorations, I asked around as the shops opened, to see if they had anything else they might want me to do, in exchange for even just ten pounds more to what I had.

I only made two pounds, and was given a little candy cane as a token of gratitude, to help clear snow off the doorstep of Madame Rose's Confectionery. Most everyone else didn't even open that day.

The jeweler's however, opened right on time, one hour before afternoon. To their surprise, I was waiting right at their door as they unlocked it. After hours of sitting around in the cold, I ran in and demanded my prize, despite shivering to the bone about it. I poured all the money I saved up on their counter, but.. was about a hundred short.

I asked if I could barter something in exchange, my jacket was worth two hundred fifty. They hesitated about it, but then I told them to keep the change if they had to, “just sell me what I want!”

I walked home, carefully holding a little box, with two jade wedding rings inside. A note was tied to the bow, saying 'Merry Christmas Yuki, Queen of my Heart. From Lionel.' -- I wanted it in Braille, but.. the message was there, ..it would do.

I walked home, quietly opening the door, and shivered all over as I took off my wet boots. I should have warmed up a little beside the fireplace, but I had to slip silently up the stairs, and sneak into Yuki's room. Placing the box beside her clock, ...and while soundlessly leaving, I heard Akira, making love to Yuki under the blanket.

I felt.. angry. I reached for the box, and took it down the stairs with me. The fireplace was crackling, so I threw it into the flames, and ran out the door, desperate to wander aimlessly in the cold.

I spent Christmas Day feeling damned like a clown, sitting alone on that stupid log at the edge of town. Shivering again in the snow and sadness, remembering the cry of swans in autumn as they left Inverness. Too grief-stricken to even stand, I cried into my hands.

[Insert Song: Don't Treat Me Like A Fool by Blue]

Late afternoon, I walked home. ..I was hungry, and cold. As Yuki and Akira talked to each other, like a loving couple in the living room. They stopped when they noticed me, and called to me, but not a word reached me in my grief. I walked up the stairs, locked myself in my room, and slept in despair.

I dreamed about my life. About Niji, Akira's dog. I remember asking Ma, long before Niji, if I could get a puppy for my birthday. She said no. But one day, Akira brought home a stray, found it shivering in the snow. Ma didn't say a word, and helped him take care of it.

Ma didn't even asked me what happened, when I came home that day, crying and shivering. ...I decided I wanted to leave. I would leave for Yamaku, as soon as possible. Before my birthday would be good, I was tired, I wanted to be someplace else.

No one was happy to hear that, and I didn't want to listen to them either. I made my choice, and I wasn't going to change it. I would leave on the first of January, I already started packing that night.

[Insert Song: Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word by Blue with Elton John]

Pa seemed happiest about it, Ma kept insisting I stayed until after my birthday. I didn't listen to what Akira and Yuki were trying to tell me.

When I did leave on January 1st, everyone was already tired of talking to me, and finally stopped pretending they wanted me to stay. Akira and Yuki were the only ones to say goodbye, I told Akira to sod off, and ignored Yuki trying to neatly cut off.. whatever we shared. --If any of it was real to her.

“I stayed with the Hakamichi family until Yamaku's gates opened, since Shizuo was more than happy to have me despite the short notice.”


Lionel scoffed a little, before uttering his ending statement.

“And the rest... is silence, is history, is over.”