kuniqs wrote:He.. heheheh Paddy, I love You like a brother.
What I could tell You.. If there were no darkness, who would notice the light?
You wrote previously about state of marriages and that it was worsening through last 50 years. Believe me bro, marriages from 100 years and more older times really weren't made from love - it was more a trade agreement between families. Only during those past ~50 years (after WWII ?) they are percieved as something 'magicall', mostly so wedding companies can get money from couples sinking it into. I agree today's relationships are more decadent than in past, but it's more because people now make their own choices. Horrible, inexperienced ones.
Not being a married man, or knowing much about the history of marriage, I can't say much to rebut your argument - except that it's bollocks. Love as a norm for relationships has existed a lot longer than 50 years. If it didn't, who would have dreamed up such stories as that of Pyramus and Thisbe, or the Tragedy of Othello (which began as a romance), or even Rapunzel (which was written in the 1800s).
But love wasn't the reason you decided to give up your freedom. Love
is the giving up of your freedom for their sakes.
To quote GK Chesterton again, this time from a paper he wrote called "
A Defence of Rash Vows", as he can say things so much better than I do:
Opponents of marriage... appear to imagine that the ideal of constancy was a yoke mysteriously imposed on mankind by the devil, instead of being, as it is, a yoke consistently imposed by all lovers on themselves.... It is the nature of love to bind itself, and the institution of marriage merely paid the average man the compliment of taking him at his word. Modern sages offer to the lover, with an ill-favoured grin, the largest liberties and the fullest irresponsibility...They give him every liberty except the liberty to sell his liberty, which is the only one that he wants.
It is exactly this backdoor, this sense of having a retreat behind us, that is, to our minds, the sterlizing spirit in modern pleasure. Everywhere there is the persistent and insane attempt to obtain pleasure without paying for it. ... Thus, in religion and morals, the decadent mystics say: `Let us have the fragrance of sacred purity without the sorrows of self-restraint; let us sing hymns alternately to the Virgin and Priapus.' Thus in love the free-lovers say: `Let us have the splendour of offering ourselves without the peril of committing ourselves; let us see whether one cannot commit suicide an unlimited number of times.'
Emphatically it will not work. There are thrilling moments, doubtless, for the spectator, the amateur, and the aesthete; but there is one thrill that is known only to the soldier who fights for his own flag, to the aesthetic who starves himself for his own illumination, to the lover who makes finally his own choice. And it is this transfiguring self-discipline that makes the vow a truly sane thing.
Himself being a happily married man to his wife, Frances, for 35 years until his death in 1936, I think he has a one-up on me regarding marriage. What say you?
The things I like about Emi and Lilly's routes are that they're already tied to each other. They're already committed to not letting go of each other. In that sense, they are already married in a way.
Maybe I am just splitting the splits of hairs by now, but while I consider it rather fortunate that Hanako and Hisao both did want to commit themselves to each other - "chain two mountains together", so to speak - and in the end they did end up finding out that frankly the other party wanted to do that, too, it still concerns me because they attempted to bind something which, in the end, might not have been bound.
In other words, while specifically Hanako and Hisao did love each other, man y and woman x, generally speaking, cannot be so sure their gamble is going to pay off. If one party had really just wanted to be friends and not yolked to this other half, mightn't it be problematic - not just in Hanako and Hisao's relationship, but any relationship which has this kind of scenario?
Mightn't it be problematic to throw a yoke around someone's neck along with yours - only to have that someone else drop it and leave you to bear it alone?
Oddball wrote:Actually, the fallout did ruin their friendship as it was...a friendship that was platonic only because whenever one got close, something inevitably happened that caused the other to back off. (this happened over and over again during acts 3 and 4) The sex itself was the final move in this tug-of-war relationship, where both took a big step closer, only to take two steps back again the next morning. That was kind of the point where both realized that if they took one more step back, things might not be salvagable anymore. Fortunately, since both loved the other, they made some lasting steps forward.
It does not always end this fortunately, though. I am glad it did this time.
But while you see it as something either that could have ended in bringing them closer together or tearing anything they had to shreds, ultimately for them to move on (hopefully), I can
only see that as an act of commitment in a relationship I am committed to or will commit to, and willingly so. Either it MUST go through... or, or the world implodes on itself. For no reason, under no circumstances, not even if it could magically feed all the starving children in Africa or cure cancer, could I pretend to dive into a vow that I or she are not prepared to make. A vow takes two. You can't just jump in and hope she follows you along.
Oh, that reminds me, about arranged marriages: "shotgun marriages" aren't real, binding marriages. Those are marriages done in fear that one or more of the parties concerned that they will get killed otherwise. That is not a basis for commitment. Neither is an arranged marriage where the girl does not consent. But such an arranged marriage, even if the bride has only know the husband for one day, can be a legitimate marriage, on one condition: if, and only if, regardless of how well they know each other, they both agree to be faithful to each other, 'til death do they part.
I'll take a page from "Fiddler on the Roof" to illustrate my point:
Do You Love Me?
Oddball wrote:Paddy, you seem to have good intentions, but people, even fictional ones, don't always fall into neat little boxes where all the rules perfectly apply to them. Rules may be to help people be safe, but sometimes being safe just means being stagnant. Everyone is a special case and sometimes what a person needs isn't to be safe, but to take risks and be hurt. Sometimes you have o scream, and shout, and break the rules because it's the only that will work for you.
I have difficulty with this, too. I think most people do these days. I'd say it's symptomatic of watching too many movies, reading too much literature, listening to too many stupid things that advocate this kind of thing. Because the people who want to break the rules usually do see them as restrictive.
But then think, comparatively, of the very many, many things that the rules do
not prohibit nor require. The problem of Adam and Eve was not being restricted from too much; it was of forgetting how unrestricted they were. They could eat the fruit of any tree in the Garden of Eden. They could climb the trees, cultivate anything they liked, be with any of the animals. They could climb all over each other, and make love to each other to their heart's delight. The only thing they could not do was to touch or eat from one tree. Only one. It may seem unfair of God to impose a restriction on one tree, but in comparison to the countless other things available for the doing, it seems like a fair price. Even if you can only see the Garden of Eden as an allegory, in modern secular society, at least in free places like America, Canada, and Europe, there are a lot of things you can feel free to do that the law doesn't even mention.
Law is not meant to bind people in chains. It's meant to allow them to roam free so they won't need to be bound in chains to be kept safe. That's what prisons are for, silly.
And sometimes not even those.
There is another thing laws do in your favour. Athletes and all kinds of hard-working people will tell you that the rules - discipline - allow them to excel in what they do. Concert pianists train their minds and their fingers for hours. Actors sacrifice months they might have spent playing something entertaining so that they can perform something to entertain others. Even janitors learn how to mop, scrub, and dust well so they don't have to take as long to do it. They subject themselves freely to rules
to their own advantage.
Then again, would any girl but an exhibitionist really want to be seen almost naked, much less in front of a boy, for any reason?
She didn't want to. She needed to. It's a very different thing altogether. She was exposing herself in more ways than just one here. It was a way of saying she didn't want to hide anything anymore in a way that words simply wouldn't have done.
Exactly. Read in context, you'll see I wasn't disagreeing with this sentiment. I was disagreeing with Beoran, who thinks she'd intended to seduce Hisao.