New stuff of Neuman|| Katawamon: Welcome to Ceridian Forest

[kosherbacon]

Good job setting up the mood.

Oh yeah,

I had started my illustrious career as a detective at the age of fifteen, normally solving cases behind closed doors.

[neumanproductions]

I decided to postpone working on the continuation of "Murder on the Katawa Express" because i'm also writing a script for an abridged movie with a deadline positioned at the end of the month. While writing the script though the idea for this cross-over came to mind and then I remembered all the pics and comments pertaining to it on both the forum and mishimmie. So I decided to write this small series that i'll be writing along with the script over the rest of the month. So, let's see what you think about the return of Neuman.

Katawamon: Press Start

“Hello, there! Glad to meet you, my name is Professor Mutou and welcome to the fascinating world of KatawamonTM. This world is inhabited by strange creatures called Katawamon. For some people, Katawamon are pets. Others use them for battling. As for myself, I study Katawamon very thoroughly in order to understand them better. But first, tell me about yourself.”

“……”

“So your name in Hisao Ketchup Nakai, I see. I would like you to meet my nephew Kenji. He has been a little restless these last few months so I’m making him your rival. Is that okay?”

“N…”

“Yes it is then. Now for you to begin your journey you’ll need to get yourself a Katawamon. It just so happens that I have two Katawamon in my possession that I recently captured. I will give one to both you and Kenji. Hisao, you may have the first choice.”

You take a look at both Katawa balls the professor has placed before you. Unable to distinguish what is even inside this set of identical spheres you pick both up to discover that one is exceedingly heavy compared to the other. For hauling purposes you decide on the lighter of the two and give the other one to Kenji.

“Good, now let me give you each a Katawadex. This will catalogue all the Katawamon you might come across on your journey to become a Katawamon Masters. Now, take good care of yourselves. I need to get back to my…research.” With that, you and Kenji step outside and head to the outskirts of town.

“I don’t even know what kind of Katawamon is in here.”

“Why don’t we try them out in a quick battle then, ehh Ketchup?”

“Don’t call me that!”

“That’s your name though, right?”

“Yeah, well…”

“So Ketchup it is then. Now, let’s get to the battling.”

‘Rival Kenji wishes to battle. Rival Kenji sends out Mishalax.’ You pull out your Katawadex and read the display. ‘Mishalax, the unknown Katawamon. ||Type: Normal | Sex: ♀||Being the largest and loudest of the known Katawamon, it typically excels in both special and physical attacks.’

“Okay, guess it’s my turn. Go Katawaball!”

The Katawadex immediately produces a new screen of information. ‘Hanamander, the burned Katawamon. ||Type: Fire| Sex: ♀|| While the skin is still soft, in order to distinguish one from another, the parents use intense flames to burn recognizable patterns into their offspring’s skin.’ You then notice that your Hanamander has the entire right side of her body covered in purplish scarring.

“Looks like you’ve got some bacon to go with your ketchup. Actually, that would probably taste disgusting.” As you begin to loathe Kenji more than you had prior, you notice your Hanamander turning towards you.

“Hi there, my names Hisao.” She looks a little shy at first but quickly starts to grow a warm liking to you as she cuddles her head against your side. “I think I’ll call you Hanako, is that alright?” She shakes her head up and down looking real happy in the process.

“Come on already, are you going to flirt with your Katawamon or battle with it?”

Hanako doesn’t seem to shy away from being called out, despite how it appeared before. A purple-blue flame erupted from her tail as she turns to face her opponent. You join Hanako in the gesture and the battle commences.

“Misha, use Body Slam!” The Mishalax jumps into the air, gaining a degree of height you thought was in no way possible for a creature of her size.

“Hanako, dodge it!” Reluctantly, Hanako was just able to avoid the attack. “You nicknamed yours Misha?”

“Why not? It’s better than calling her Pink. Who on earth would nickname a Katawamon based on what color it was?” He had a very good point. However, a battle is no time for such a conversation.

“Hanako, use Ember!” Several balls of flame shot from Hanako’s mouth and hit Misha head-on. “Keep it up Hanako, you can do it!” She continues to land hit after hit on the exceedingly large target with both Mish and Kenji looking exceptionally angry.

“Damn you Ketchup! Stop with the same move already!”

“Whatever works Kenji.” Misha starts to fumble around giving the sign that she was definitely about to faint. “Almost there Hanako!”

“Fine Hisao, but if I’m going to lose like this I’m going to leave something for you to remember me by.” You wonder what he is talking about when…, “Misha, use Toxic!”

“Hanako do…” Too late, Hanako is hit dead on with the Toxic attack tumbling to the ground mid-run. Simultaneously, a large thud is heard as Misha collapses to the ground. Hanako isn’t making any sign of movement. “Hanako!” You dash to her side.

“Looks like we’ll call this one a draw, Ketchup. Misha, return. Be seeing you around.” He turns and begins walking towards the Ceridian Forest as you pick Hanako up from the ground.

“Hanako, are you alright?!” Hanako beings to groan as though in immense pain. “It must be the poison,” you look through your bag but find nothing of use. “I know, the Katawamon Center! They should be able to help.”

You dash to the Katawamon Center as fast as your legs can carry you with Hanako in your arms. Your heart begins beating at an irregular pace as you place one foot in-front of the other. Your breath gets deeper as you legs beginning screaming for you to stop. But you can’t stop, you won’t let yourself.

“Don’t worry Hanako, everything will be alright. Please let it be alright.”

[To be continued]

[kosherbacon]

And they say I'm weird...

Who on earth would nickname a Katawamon based on what color it was?

Pikachu aside, this reminds me of the days when Marill was dubbed "Pikablu" before showing up stateside.

[trekki859]

cant...stop...laughing.... god that last one was one big laughing attack for me man. i really like your work tho im interested in seeing how the mystery story turns out.

[Leotrak]

... Some things should just not be mixed... like bacon and ketchup ">_>

Still, giggle-worthy indeed this is.

[Shades of gray]

And they say I'm weird...

Who on earth would nickname a Katawamon based on what color it was?

Pikachu aside, this reminds me of the days when Marill was dubbed "Pikablu" before showing up stateside.

oh god, dont remind me... the days of the "god pokemon" (although I note that ninty has shot themselves in the foot, Legendarys, ok, we have one of every element, human emotion, light dark.... whadda we go for next? "only one place left to go... we go for GOD!" No wait we have that one too. Ninty dev : fuck)

[neumanproductions]

And they say I'm weird...

We're both weird, just in our own special way.
Well, another quick chapter I had written up during my lunch break today. This thing is going to be the most interesting crossover i've probably ever written ever. And you guys thought DeathNote wielding Kenji was insane.

Katawamon: Preparations

The doors to the Katawamon Center slide open, as thought they sense your presence, as you dash through the opening to the front desk. You are greeted by a man sporting a white lab coat while presenting a somewhat out of place smile as he spoke.

“Welcome, how may I he…”

“Please, you’ve got to help my Katawamon!”

You present him with your Hanamander which continues to groan with her eyes closed. The man takes Hanako from your arms and looks intensely at her as though diagnosing the problem. After what seemed like hour, but was probably no more than a few seconds, he looks back at you with a calm expression.

“Do you have this little ones’ Katawaball?” You grab the Katawaball from your bag and hastily place it in the man’s outstretched hand. “Thank you.” He then points the ball at Hanako, “Hanamander, return.”

“Wh-why did you do that? You need to hel…” you’re cut off by the man’s words.

“Don’t worry; your Hanamander will be just fine.”

He takes the Katawaball containing Hanako to a machine shoved against the wall behind him. There are six places for which it appears a Katawaball would fit perfectly atop the machine. The man then places the Katawaball into one of these spots and flips a switch. The machine begins to light up and play music making it sound more like it belonged at a carnival rather than a hospital.

“What is that machine doing, Mister umm…?”

“Nurse, call me Nurse.”

“Is there another part to that name like Nurse Jacob, Nurse Roy, or maybe even Nurse Joy?”

“No, just Nurse. Anyways, this machine is healing your Katawamon back to full health.”

“You’ve got to be kidding? You don’t have to do anything else that might, I don’t know, require some actual brain power?”

“Don’t insult my intelligence; I didn’t spend 4 years at the Katawamon Medical School learning how to flip a switch to be treated like this. But to get back to your question, yes this machine will heal all injuries that your Katawamon might receive as a result of battle.” The machine stops and the Nurse retrieves the Katawaball, “There we go, come on out Hanamander.”

The ball opens and you see Hanako looking in just as good of shape as she was before your battle with Kenji started. Hanako jumps into your arms and nuzzles against your chest.

“I don’t believe it, she’s looking as healthy as ever. How much do I owe you?”

“No charge, all the Katawamon Centers operate free of charge.”

“So, if this happens again all I have to do is walk into any Katawamon Center and they’ll provide free medical care for my Katawamon?”

“Correct.”

“Wow, free health care. But someone’s got to pay for it, don’t they?”

“I suppose, but I have no clue where the money comes from nor do I ask.” He gives you a convincing smile to settle your suspicions as you turn to leave with Hanako riding on the top of your head.

“You’re surprisingly on the light side, Hanako. I suppose you can ride outside your Katawaball for the time being.” She looks down from her perch and smiles. “But before we continue to Ceridian, I think we should purchase some supplies. I wouldn’t want to be caught in the middle of Ceridian Forest without some items on hand.”

You head over to the nearest Katawa Mart, K-Mart for short, and purchase some potions along with a few standard Katawaballs. Nearly exhausting all of your remaining funds on provisions for yourself and Hanako, you take off for the Ceridian Forest. When you arrive at the path leading into the forest you are confronted by an old man with a long beard.

“Hello there sonny, would you like me to teach you how to capture a Katawamon?”

“No thanks, I already know how to do that.”

“Are you absolutely sure about that?”

“Sure, I’m sure.”

“Sorry, I can’t let you pass without teaching you.”

“Who says?”

“I don’t know, I just keep hearing this little voice inside my head telling me do this as though I’m being controlled by some outside force.”

“Okay, guess I’ve got to do this the easy but not easiest way. Hanako, do you know what I want you to do?” She jumps from her post as her tail ignites. Apparently you and her are already in sync.

‘Trainer Hisao wants to battle. Trainer Hisao sends out Hanako.’

“Wait a minute, I don’t understand? What are you doing exactly?”

‘Old geezer is confused.’

“Hanako, could you clear a path please?” She smiles, showing gratitude at obeying your order.

“I don’t like where this is…”

“Hanako, use Ember!” Flames shoot from Hanako’s mouth causing the man’s beard to incinerate instantly upon contact with the flaming bulbs.

‘Old geezer has fainted. You gain 50 Kbucks. *victory music plays*’

“Well that was kind of worthless and where did that music come from?”

Hanako climbs back onto your head as you step over the old geezer who still smells of burning hair.

“Hana, hana, hana.”

“That’s right Hanako, now we officially start our journey.”

[to be continued]

[ChaoticGrowth]

This is amazing in so many ways. I'm not even sure why I think that, but I do.

[Shades of gray]

on a very tiny note, IMO, shoulda called the forest Cardiac Forest <Insert LOLface here> ...but thats just me...

...fine... I'll be under my rock...

[Leotrak]

That actually would have been funny Anyways, yeah, this is weirder than Kenji with a Deathnote... I like all the "weird noises" tagging along

[neumanproductions]

A very-short portion (~500words) giving way to a longer chapter later on.

Katawamon: Ceridian Forest

“Wow, I really thought that this forest would be easier to get through. I mean, it looked so much smaller on the map. I think it’s best if we take a break.”

“Hana, hana.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re not the one walking.” Propping yourself against a tree you pull out the Katawadex from inside your bag. “While we’re here, I might as well see if there are any wild Katawamon that live in the vicinity. Sure I might be able to take on Kenji one-on-one but I’m going to need a team of good Katawamon if I want to become number one.”

‘No data collected on Katawamon found in the Ceridian Forest.’

“Oh really, that’s useful. What about data on other Katawamon in general?”

‘Two data entries found, Mishalax and Hanamander.’

“So the damn thing only gives me info on Katawamon I’ve seen. You know, that’s obviously very helpful. Thanks a lot professor, all those years studying Katawamon and you never figured out how to program a Katawadex sensibly.”

“Hana?”

“Don’t worry about it Hanako, I’m sure we’ll be fi…” You turn your head to see something with red hair perched on your previously vacant shoulder. Your gaze meets that of the creature as neither makes a sound, until.

“Riiiin, riiiin!”

“AAAAAAAAHHHHH,” You spring from your seat as though set on fire. “GET IT OFF ME, GET IT OFF ME, GET IT OFF ME…”

Hanako turns her head from right to left watching you run back and forth, back and forth while waving your hands in the air. The little creature, previously on your shoulder, has moved itself onto your back, sticking to you like glue. Realizing this, you quickly work to remove your jacket. Tossing it to the side you relax, gasping for air to refill your depleted lungs. However…

“Riiiin…” it’s still on your back. 3,2,1

“GGHHHAAAHHHH!” and the cycle starts all over again.

=================================
‘Rinerpie, the armless Katawamon. ||Type: Bug| Sex: ♀|| Though without arms, Rinerpies have been known to create interesting patterns using the colored silk they produce from their bodies.’

“Honestly, I’m lucky you didn’t cause my heart to give out little fella. You know what, you’re not scary at all.”

“Riiin.”

“Okay, maybe a little weird but not scary.” Hanako nuzzles herself into your lap as you ruffle the hair atop of the Rinerpie’s head. I think I’ll call you, Rin. Would you like to join us Rin?”

“Riiin, riiiin.”

“Haha, I’ll take that as a yes. Well, it’s best we get some sleep. It’s been a long day.”

The day had taken its toll as you lay down on your sleeping bag staring up at the stars. Hanako rolls up by your side, her flaming tail acting as a nightlight and source of warmth. Rin crawls up to your stomach, tickling you along the way.

“Riiiin,” she gives off what appears to be a yawn.

“Alright, you can sleep there for the night, but only this once.”

She curls into a ball as consciousness slips from your mind. Tomorrow you’d arrive in Ceridian City where the hill along your journey awaits.

[to be continued]

[Leotrak]

I only have one phrase for this

D'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

[Sperance]

That was adorable... Though I fail to see how a Rinerpie can be of any use whatsover XD. Can she use something else than Tackle and String Shot?

[Morph]

I think Smeargle would be a better Rin.
(I just realized that I still remember nearly all pokemon?! I am a little scared of myself now )

[U.T. Raptor]

There had better be a Lillybat.

(it has no eyes, you see )