Katawa Shoujo Forums

hdkv wrote: ↑Fri Jan 05, 2024 4:47 pm

You may want to fix up formatting a little — emails section was hard to read.

In other fanfics in stuff like emails or long texts people use

quotes

as they're easier to manage and easier to read that what you did.

Good idea, thanks!

Akari and I were invited to Carsten and Ai's room for tea earlier today. We're both fairly sure it means that they have come to a decision about the pregnancy. Neither of us has been very focused on studying since we received the invitation. Luckily the time has come and we're standing outside her door. Just as I am about to knock, the door opens and I see Carsten holding the kettle. This makes us laugh awkwardly.

He hugs me and says, "Thanks for coming, you guys, I'm going to go get the tea ready."

He hugs Akari and goes off to the kitchen, and the two of us step into the room where we see a more relaxed Ai than we've seen in awhile. She's smiling at us and setting her little card table.

"Hey there you two. Glad you found time in your extremely busy schedule to see us."

They are both in a really good mood. They definitely have a solution they are happy with, but I'm not sure which one it is.

We laugh and Akari says, "W-what does that mean?"

Ai smirks, "Nothing, I'm just jealous you don't have classes." She reaches into her bag and pulls out some cafeteria melon bread. "I got your favorite just in case I had to bribe you."

"Well, I was gonna leave until I saw that bread. Um…I'm sure you don't want to tell us too much before Carsten gets back, but I'm guessing you guys settled on a choice?"

She nods, "We did."

I smile, "That's great."

Akari and I both relax. We both feel that whatever they choose is the right choice for them. So, while we're interested to learn which one they are going with, we were more worried about all the consternation they were going through. So, most of my stress about the situation has already left me upon hearing that they made a choice.

Carsten comes back with the tea, and we serve ourselves. Akari and I start in on the melon bread. Then, when Carsten takes a seat, he turns to Ai and says, "Should we just tell them? Or build up to it."

Akari beats me to the punch and says, "Y-you should just tell us."

Okay, I guess we ARE eager to find out the choice too, especially now that it is imminent.

Carsten and Ai laugh and then Ai nods to him and they both smile, and Carsten says, "We're going to keep the baby."

"You guys! That's great. I'm glad you found a decision you're happy with." I get up and give them each a tight hug and then Akari does the same.

Ai nods, "Thank you. Talking to you two put that first domino in motion. The more time that passed after that …the more we wanted to do it. The university part sucks, but…we can still go one day. That's why we are still going to take our exams."

"That sounds like a great plan."

Akari asks, "I-if you had the money for the baby…without working w-would you do both?"

Ai shrugs, "I guess so. But it's kind of a moot point."

Why did Akari ask that? Our new designer handbags are valuable, but not valuable enough to pay for more than a very small fraction of childcare.

As I'm pondering this, Carsten says, "This is…asking a lot of you two. But…our parents are coming to town next weekend and…we're going to tell them. Would you mind being there with us?"

"Of course not."

"Y-yeah…we want to help however we can."

Carsten says, "Okay well…it might be a real shit show. I'm not sure how my parents will react…at all."

Ai adds, "Mine will be…surprised, but I don't think too over the top."

"It will be nice meeting them."

Ai raises an eyebrow, "You haven't met them?"

I look at my girlfriend. "Um…no. Neither has Akari, though, right?"

"A-actually…I have. They came to visit our first year during…Hideki."

I bow my head, "Ah, my 'bad friend' phase. Makes sense. Sorry."

Ai laughs, "It's okay. Well, I'm glad you'll meet them."

"Are they strict like Carsten's parents?"

Carsten guffaws in response.

Ai gives him some side eye. "As Carsten's goofy laugh would tell you, they are kind of the opposite. Really laid back. Very hands off when it comes to parenting. Whatever the opposite of a helicopter parent is, that's them. They are also…kind of hippy types, I guess?"

Akari laughs, "Her d-dad has a ponytail."

Ai crosses her arms, "Heyyy. It's a cool ponytail."

"I d-didn't say it wasn't!"

I laugh, "My therapist rocks one pretty well. I believe your dad's is cool too."

Ai laughs and then thinks for a moment. "I think…compared to all of you, I'm not very close with my parents. We don't talk a whole lot. If anything, we are less close now than when I came here. But…that's kind of what they wanted."

"They wanted to be less close?"

Ai laughs, "Kinda. They sent me here because they wanted me to be independent, more than anything. That's something they really value. They were worried that this…" She thumps the side of her wheelchair, "would make it hard for me to be. So, they've been very happy to give me space."

"Huh. Interesting."

Ai laughs, "I don't expect you to get it, mama's girl."

I cross my arms and pout, "Heyyy. My mom lives down the hill and works here, what do you want from me? To pretend she doesn't?"

Akari laughs and says, "Yoko...even if she d-didn't, you two would be on the phone every day, wouldn't you? Probably twice a day. You're the c-closest mom and child I know."

I glare at her playfully, "You traitor." I throw my hands up and sigh. "Okay yes, fine. I'm a mama's girl. I admit it."

Ai chuckles, "There's nothing wrong with that. We're all different and so are our parents. Different stuff works. But…my point is…what matters most to my parents is that I'm happy and making my own choices. They don't usually care what those choices are, so I can't see them losing their mind over this. It's the Leipzigers that we need to worry about."

Carsten laughs wryly, "They will be… really mad at first, but in the end everything will be fine. At least…that's what I tell myself every time I start to worry. Which is every 5 minutes or so."

I laugh, "More worried about mom or dad?"

Carsten sighs, "My mom. She uh…might have asked once whether I was having sex, and I might have lied…"

"B-by which you mean you did lie?"

Carsten nods.

Ai says, "Yeah, but they're Christian. Virgin birth is a thing, right?

Carsten laughs, "Only the one time, though. And I don't think our baby is the messiah."

Ai playfully pokes Carsten, "Hey, no telling our baby what they can and can't be!"

Carsten laughs and kisses Ai. When he tries to pull away, Ai holds him in place, and they giggle and kiss at the same time.

They are happier than I have seen them in a long time. Having this baby will undoubtedly be a big challenge, but I think they're up for it.

Once they are done kissing, Carsten says, "But…yeah. My parents are where things might get ugly."

"Once they r-realize it means they get a grandchild they will all just be happy. I think."

Carsten and Ai both nod hopefully.

"What's the plan for telling them?"

Ai sighs, "We haven't sorted that out yet. We told them…we wanted them to come visit at the same time so they could meet. Which is true."

Carsten adds, "Yep, we just didn't tell them the whole truth."

I say, "I think we need to plan this out. Can't exactly pile 8 people into a dorm room."

Ai nods and starts to look worried, "Yeah…we had kind of been focused on making the decision and then telling you, and not on the logistics of what we'll do when our parents come."

Akari turns to me and says, "D-does your mom still have the rent house?"

"Hey, that's a good idea! I think so. Until the end of this month. So that would work. I'll ask my mom about it, but I can't imagine she says 'no,' if we still have it. After all, I'm a mama's girl."

Carsten laughs and says, "Yeah? That would be a good place for it."

"Are you two okay with my mom knowing? She's going to ask about the situation, and I could just dodge the question, but it would be easier to just tell the truth."

Ai nods, "Of course. Especially since she's sweet enough to do this for us."

…

Later that evening, during a break from studying and after my mom is off from work, I give her a call.

"Hey sweetie, how's the study marathon?"

I sigh, "Studyrific, I guess. How are you?"

"Just lost to a 90-year-old in chess."

"So, just like every other night of the week, then?"

"Shaddup, you."

I laugh, "Hey, we still have the rent house, right?"

"Yep, for like three more weeks. Why? Want to have a little getaway with Akari?"

I laugh, "You know, that's not a terrible idea. I wish I had thought of it before. But no, it's not for us."

"Who, then?"

"Ai and Carsten."

"They want to have a getaway?"

I laugh, "No. Not exactly. Their parents are coming next weekend."

"Wait, the parents of which one?"

"The parents of both."

"Both sets of parents?" She says with suspicion in her voice.

"Yep."

"Hmmm…that's…unusual. Especially with winter vacation a few weeks away. Why would they want to have them meet now instead of waiting and getting together for the holidays?"

"Well, they-"

She interrupts, "Wait, let me guess!"

I laugh, "Okay."

"There's really only two options…either they are getting engaged or…going to have a baby."

I chuckle, "Yep, you got it."

"Which one?"

"They are having a baby. I am 99 percent sure they will get married too though, so you kinda got both."

"Damn, I'm good. Congratulations to them. I'm…guessing it wasn't planned?"

"Nope. They were careful too and it happened. It's been tough, and they were really having a hard time deciding what to do…but they seem to be really happy with the decision they made."

"That's nice. They're young and all, but I bet they'll do a good job. So, the rent house would be where they would tell them?"

"Yeah. I guess we'll have dinner there or something."

"Yep, that's a good idea. One set of parents could even stay there. Two is probably pushing it unless they bring futons."

"Oh, yeah. I'll tell them that."

"Also, I'll provide catering for the event."

"This is why all my friends say you're the best mom ever."

She laughs, "They say that?"

"Yep. Every single one of them."

"Wow…that's…really sweet. What do you say when they tell you that?"

"That you're the worst mom ever and I prefer Shizuka and Mrs. Yoshida."

I can hear her sticking her lip out to pout, "Heyyy. I know you're kidding but…that still hurts my feelings a tiny bit. Take it back!"

I laugh, "Okay, okay. I'll be honest. You're so good to me and my friends. Thank you…so much, mom. For the rent house, the catering, and the long list of other things you do for me and my friends. I love you. You really are the best mom ever."

"Damn straight."

"I made up the bed for your parents, Ai. The food is all there already, too. You'll want to warm it up. I left instructions."

Today's the day of the big announcement.

The four of us are in my mom's car headed down the hill to the rent house. Ai's parents should be there in about an hour. They'll be staying there this weekend. Carsten's parents will arrive an hour later.

Ai says, "Thank you so much, Mrs. Nakai. You're the best."

She smiles broadly, "I am, aren't I?"

Carsten says, "You really are. We'd like you to meet our parents. We feel bad you made dinner and aren't going to be there with us. But…it's probably better to wait until tomorrow, after the dust has settled."

"You thinking there will be a lot of dust that needs settling?"

He sighs, "Probably, yeah. But…also pretty confident it will settle."

"That's good. I'll be happy to meet them. We're only a few doors down, after all."

…

Akari and I are alone at the rent house. Carsten and Ai went to the Aura-Mart to grab a few things. My mom was pretty thorough with everything, and they were very vague about what they were going to pick up. So I think they are anxious more than anything and just couldn't sit still. We stayed here because Ai's parents could arrive at any minute.

I'm looking over my mom's reheating instructions so that we can time things correctly. She made two separate stir fries and a bunch of rice balls. Just as I'm trying to plot things out, there's a knock on the door. Akari answers the door, and I join her in the entryway.

Mrs. Shima is a small woman who bears a striking resemblance to her daughter. Like Ai, she has red hair and blue eyes. She's wearing a very colorful long dress that is certainly giving me some of the hippy vibes that Ai told me to expect.

"Hi Mrs. Shima, p-please come in. Carsten and Ai aren't here r-right now, but they should be back soon."

She steps in the door and smiles," Thank you, Akari, it's nice to see you again."

"Y-you too, Mrs. Shima."

She smiles at her, "You seem far more confident and relaxed than when we last met."

Akari frowns, "You can t-tell that already?"

"Yes. But isn't that a compliment?"

"I guess so. J-just makes me realize how obviously anxious I used to be."

She smiles warmly and then looks toward me, so I approach them. "Yes, well I liked you when you had a harder time talking too." Her eyes turn to me. "Who is your friend?"

"This is K-kayoko."

Mrs. Shima claps her hands together and smiles, "Oh, of course. You're close with Carsten and Ai too? And Akari's girlfriend, right?"

I smile, "Yes ma'am. I'm sorry we didn't meet during your last visit."

"Oh, that's okay. I'm very glad to meet you now. I'd also like to thank your mother for providing us with a place to stay. Will we be seeing her?"

"Yes, tomorrow probably."

"Great. So, do you two know why we've been gathered here with Carsten's parents?"

My mom thought it was obvious something was up when she heard they were coming. Guess they know something is up too, and probably have it narrowed down to the same two things.

Akari says, "W-we do, but we can't say. You'll find out soon."

We are both bad liars. Better to be honest for sure.

Mr. Shima comes in the door next, carrying their luggage. He puts it down and greets Akari, and I'm introduced to him too.

Mrs. Shima's hippy vibes are more muted, but Mr. Shima's are not. He's a short man with long brown hair that he has pulled into a ponytail. He's also got a very robust beard that is starting to gray. He's wearing a salmon-colored button-down shirt with the top couple of buttons undone, and he's wearing sandals despite the cold November weather. He has a relaxed demeanor that makes it seem kind of like he's disinterested in what's happening all around him.

He drops the luggage off in the bedroom and the Shimas take a seat in the living room. While Akari and I are in the kitchen making them some tea, we hear Carsten and Ai return. The six of us sit in the living room together and talk about examination hell. Even though Carsten and Ai aren't going to university anymore, they do a good job of avoiding outright lies about it, while still not divulging that fact.

Before long, the Leipzigers arrive too, and the two sets of parents meet one another and sit down and get to know one another. Meanwhile, I'm in the kitchen getting ready to reheat the stir fries.

But then, I hear Mr. Leipziger's booming voice, "I think I speak for…all the parents here, when I say…I'd like to know why we've been summoned here together. As lovely as it is to meet the Shimas, this is clearly not just a get together."

He sniffed things out back when we all went to Tokyo to 'say goodbye' to Carsten. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he did it today, too.

I return the living room just as Carsten replies, "Yes father, you're right. There is something we'd like to talk to you about. However, I was hoping we could all enjoy a meal together first."

Carsten is seated in an armchair chair next to Ai, with each of the sets of parents occupying a couch. Akari is sitting in a dining table chair she pulled into the living room. There's another chair next to her, which I assume is meant for me, so I take a seat next to her. We hold hands and exchange an anxious look.

Mr. Leipziger sighs, "If the Shimas would like to eat first, I suppose it can wait."

Mr. Shima and his wife quietly consult one another, and then he says, "We'd like to know what's going on too. It will be easier to enjoy a meal once it's out of the way. We're very anxious."

Ai and Carsten look at one another for a moment. Then Ai takes Carsten's hand, which is resting on the arm of his chair. She takes a deep breath and says, "I'm pregnant."

There are a variety of reactions among the four parents. Mrs. Leipziger gasps. Mr. Leipziger's eyes are wide, and his mouth is curled into a grim frown. The normally composed Mr. Shima's mouth is hanging open and his eyes have narrowed. Mrs. Shima is shaking her head. While the reactions might be different, they are all definitely shocked by the news. While they clearly all expected something big, they must have thought this was going to be an engagement announcement.

Unsurprisingly, Mr. Leipziger is the first to respond. He loudly says, "How could you two be this irresponsible! You do realize this means you can't go to university? You're going to need an income."

"Y-yes…father. We know. We are planning for that."

"You didn't answer my first question, son."

Carsten frowns, "We…were careful, father. We could maybe have been even morecareful. But…we always use protection. It just…doesn't always work. As we've learned."

Mr. Leipziger sighs and then nods and seems to accept this, but his face still looks very stern. Mrs. Leipziger does the same thing, albeit with some anger evident on her face. She must be remembering Carsten's lie.

Well... that went more smoothly than we hoped. He snapped a bit at the beginning, but I think it's already over. Thank goodness.

Ai's father's steps in next. His normally relaxed demeanor seems to have left him. He angrily says, "Why were you two thinking!?" He looks at his daughter. "We didn't send you to this boarding school for you to do rash things. We wanted you to be independent and make your own decisions, but we trusted you would make better ones. We're very disappointed in you, Ai."

Whoa. We didn't think we had to worry about her parents at all…but they seem angrier.

Ai is clearly surprised by her father's hard stance. I don't know if I've seen her wilt like this under pressure. Her eyes get wide, and she bows her head, "I-I'm sorry, dad. I know. I…I'm sorry. I let you down." By the end, I can tell she's barely holding back tears. Carsten puts his hand on her back to try to comfort her.

Then he bows his head and says, "I'm sorry too. Please…let me share the blame."

I can't take this. None of this matters. It already happened. What's the point in making them feel awful now? Plus, you sent your daughter to a coed boarding school, dude. There's gonna be some sex.

Last time I tried to intervene with a friend's parents it didn't go so well. But I have to.

Just before I open my mouth, Akari says, "E-excuse me, Mr. Shima. But…they are in l-love. As in love as any c-couple I know. A-and they are adults now too. S-sex is just…something adults do when they love one another."

Now all the eyeballs in the room are looking at her. And Ai's dad looks especially pissed. Akari goes white and her face freezes. Her breathing hasn't changed, though. I reach out and squeeze her hand. I think I know what she's saying. But I want her to finish what she's saying if she can.

She looks down at the table and continues, "I-I just mean…s-sex is p-perfectly normal. A…beautiful thing even, b-between two people in love. Isn't it?"

Ai and Carsten both look at her with their thankfulness evident on their faces.

She had a hard time getting the second part out, but she did it. And she's right. What can they say to this?

There's some grumbling between couples and then Ai's dad says, "You're right. But they shouldn't have jeopardized their futures like this. It was foolish and reckless."

Akari looks spent, so I reply, "They were careful. And it still happened. What more can you ask?"

Ai's dad flatly says, "They should have been more careful. Carsten said they could have been." He looks at Carsten and Ai. "Why weren't you? Shouldn't you have done everything you could to prevent this?"

I sigh in frustration, "Look, now that it has happened, how is that constructive? Why can't you all just support them, now that this is the reality, instead of making them feel awful for something that already happened? Is this really what we should be spending our time on? YOU'RE BEING-"

Akari puts her hand on my shoulder and shakes her head. I close my mouth.

Shit. I got too worked up, didn't I? Just like with her mom two years ago. Why does this happen to me? Maybe I have it too good with my mom and I'm always shocked when parents aren't as openly loving and supportive as she is.

Mr. Leipziger looks like he's about to explode. His eyes are narrowed and piercing a hole right through me. For someone who expects so much respect from his juniors I really crossed a line. He looked like he had accepted the situation, so I may have just made things even worse.

Before he or someone else can respond I say, "I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lost my temper and spoken to you that way. This is a family thing and I have no right to criticize any of you. I'll…be quiet now. In fact, I'll go into the kitchen and get the food ready to be served. I hope you all can forgive my outburst."

As I start to stand up, Carsten looks at me with pleading eyes and says, "Please stay, Kayoko."

I sit back down. I've never quite seen that look on his face before. It's hard for me to refuse him, even if the parents probably aren't thrilled about my presence.

Carsten says, "Kayoko's right. Even if she was really rude and disrespectful about it." He winks at me, making me feel a little better. "We…we know we messed up a bit. But this is the reality now. We're going to have this baby."

Ai takes his hand, "Yes. We understand your disappointment. We're a little disappointed ourselves. We wanted to go to university. But…we'd really like it if you could all support us as we go through this, even if you're disappointed things ended up this way."

I guess saying it so rudely gave them the courage to say it more politely. By comparison I guess I made them look really good.

That was the plan all along. Yep. I didn't lose my temper. It was calculated.

Mrs. Leipziger whispers something to her husband. He nods and then she says, "We will support you, of course. But…please tell us you're also getting married."

Ai looks at Carsten and he says, "We are. We thought for now, we'd focus on the pregnancy and then…after we have the baby, we can get married."

Mr. Shima is sitting silently, and he doesn't look happy. But he also looks resigned to the situation now. His wife says, "Yes. We'll support you too. Of course."

Thankfully the rest of the evening was peaceful, though I wouldn't quite say it was jovial or celebratory. In the end, Ai and Carsten got the support and approval they needed. And that's all that matters.

…

The four of us are in my mom's car now. Ai and Carsten are filling her in on what happened as she takes us up the hill. The two of them really need the outlet, so Akari and I are mostly just bystanders.

Ai says, "I still can't believe how upset my dad was. I've never seen him that riled up about anything. I did not see that coming."

My mom says, "I think most parents are going to be at least a little upset about an unplanned pregnancy at your age. Don't hold it against him too much."

Ai scoffs, "Really? If it were Kayoko, you wouldn't just hug her and tell her you love her and support her?"

My mom laughs, "It's easy to say I would, hypothetically. But…I think it's the kind of thing where you only know when it happens. It's a super emotional moment. I would definitely be upset, and worried about her future. Just like your dad. We're parents, we have these ideas about your future…and it usually doesn't involve having a kid at 18. So…I bet it's an adjustment."

"It kinda sounds like you're disappointed in them, mom."

"Well…I do wish it hadn't happened, and that you two had the future you planned."

Carsten sighs, "Yeah, us too. Especially at first. But…now we are really excited about it."

My mom nods, "Exactly. And you've had more time to let it sink in than your parents. It already sounds like they will support you, but I bet it will turn to enthusiastic support before too long the more they think about your baby."

Ai nods, "Thanks, Mrs. Nakai. That makes me feel better. I'd never seen my dad so upset with me. It's hard to shake. But you've convinced me it won't last too long."

"No problem, dear. You know, you two can call me Emi. We know each other quite well, at this point."

Carsten says, "You're also my physical therapist, though. I don't think I'm comfortable with that until after graduation."

Ai pokes him, "You've got a little of your dad in you. Anyway, I will call you Emi, Emi."

My mom pulls up at the gate and laughs, "That works for me. You made it through something really hard, so I hope you all have a nice rest."

…

Akari and I are in her dorm room. We're changing into our pajamas after the pregnancy announcement.

As usual Akari is done changing before me, and she's just gotten into bed, while I'm still slowly putting on my shirt. She asks, "D-do you think…we could ask Mr. Nakamura to help?"

I'm confused for a moment and then the light bulb goes off in my head.

"That's why you asked if they would do both if they had the money a couple weeks back, huh? You've been thinking about this since then?"

She nods, looking a little guilty. "I know it's weird…that's why it took me so long to bring it up. But…he's the only p-person we know who could help them do university and have the baby. A-and…that's what they really want. I want them to have that. Really badly."

"Me too." I sigh. "I…feel weird about it, since I just recently told him I have no interest in his money. And…I can't say for certain he will help anyway, especially as secretive as he likes things."

Akari gives me a squeeze, "I know…it's j-just an idea. We don't have to do it. I'm j-just racking my brain for how to help them. A-and…that's the most viable option so far."

I nod, "Yeah. You're right…it couldn't hurt to ask him. The worst case is he says no and things get kinda awkward. But…things with him already are pretty awkward. So…not that much to lose."

It's been about a week since Akari suggested I ask Mr. Nakamura if he can help Carsten and Ai. We had a few more email conversations, and I managed to convince him to give me his phone number. I thought it would come off better if he heard me talk about it than it would in text.

We have a call scheduled for five minutes from now. Akari is in Tokyo for her audition, so it's just me. Which kind of sucks because this is awkward and hard to do. I could use her encouragement.

Just as I'm wishing someone was here for support, my phone rings. I take a deep breath and answer it.

"Hi, Mr. Nakamura, thanks for finding time for this."

"No problem. I take it there's something in particular you wanted to discuss?"

Ugh. The man is so busy he has to schedule phone calls and we only have fifteen minutes, so we do have to get to the point. But I was hoping I could warm up a little. I guess I just have to do this.

"I…know I told you I wasn't interested in your money…"

He laughs, "You are now?"

"Um…kinda. But, not for myself."

"For Shizuka?"

"No…not that either. For a couple of my friends in a hard spot."

"Medical stuff?"

"Kinda…they have an unplanned pregnancy. And…they don't have the means to go to university and have the baby. So-"

He interrupts, "You thought my guilt about what happened with you might motivate me to help?"

I sigh, "Kinda. Yeah. I'm sorry. I feel gross asking you for money like this. I just…I don't know anyone else who can help."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"I'll help them."

I say, "Y-you will?" more loudly than I intended.

He laughs, "I will. We'll have to be a little sneaky to avoid questions…but it shouldn't be too hard for me to put a scholarship together to cover all of their university costs. Will that be enough?"

"I…um…yes. Thank you…so much. I feel so much relief. It's been eating at me. I can only imagine how happy they will be."

"Well, it's the least I can do. I'll let you know when it's available for them to apply. It shouldn't be too long."

"They…don't know about you. So…they wouldn't know for sure they are going to get it. Is it okay if I tell them?"

He sighs, "I'd prefer you didn't. That's why I don't just want to write them a check. Just…really encourage them to apply. I'm sorry, that's probably frustrating."

"I understand why you have to hide your…connection to me, though. And…you're helping my friends who you don't even know. I can't really complain."

"Thank you for understanding. I will let you know when it is available for them to apply."

"Okay…thank you so much. I promise I won't make a habit of this."

"Listen Kayoko…if you or Akari or your family or close friends ever have an emergency, and you need help…let me know and I will do what I can. I hope you don't have to make a habit of it. But…I can't sit idly by, knowing I could help you. Or people you care about. I…sat idly by for long enough, I think."

Is it because of guilt? Or does he care about me? Maybe both?

I sniffle, "Okay. I hope I don't need to ask again…but thank you so much for helping. And…being willing to help in the future."

Ai asks, "How was your audition?"

I'm with the usual suspects at lunch.

Akari got back from her audition yesterday, and I already know it went great. But no one else does.

She smiles, "It went pretty well. M-much easier when the interview was in Japanese."

I laugh, "She's being modest. She blew their freakin' minds. She's a shoo-in, assuming she passes the exam."

Junichiro laughs, "I believe it. Everyone who knows music says she's amazing."

Akari blushes.

"God you're cute." I kiss her on the cheek. "One of the best French horn players in the world and you're all shy about it."

Akari smiles bashfully, "I don't think I'm that g-good."

Ai laughs, "See? That's her point."

Akari sighs, "Whatever. Anyway, how are you feeling?"

Ai's morning sickness has gotten more intense, and she has been having frequent lightheadedness too.

She sighs, "I'm okay. The doctor says it's all normal, so maybe I'm just not very tough."

Carsten says, "Just because it's normal doesn't mean you don't feel like crap. You're plenty tough."

"Oh, speaking of your pregnancy…"

What an unnatural transition. Ugh, I'm so bad at being deceptive. Don't mess this up! Be natural.

"...I was looking and saw a really good scholarship at Tokyo for couples with a child."

Carsten says, "Really? I hadn't thought to look into that sort of thing."

Ai smiles, "That's really sweet you're looking, Kayoko. We'll have to look into that. What does it offer?"

"It pays for all university expenses and has a stipend for housing and childcare."

Mr. Nakamura ended up making it even more generous than we had discussed. But in retrospect, they probably do need all of that to make it viable for them both to go to university. He's a businessman, I suppose he figured that out.

"Damn. If we got that, we might be able to do it, babe."

She sighs and frowns, "Yeah, but I bet like one couple gets it. I don't know if I can handle applying and then…not getting it. Sounds soul crushing."

Junichiro says, "Not getting it would suck, but you're definitely not getting it if you don't apply."

Nice. He doesn't even know about the conspiracy.

Ai laughs, "That's definitely true. We'll probably do it. Just have to not get my hopes up too much."

Actually, you can have them pretty damn high.

Akari says, "Yoko and I w-will help you apply if you need it."

Ai starts to tear up, "Y-you guys are so great…" She sniffles, "God, these hormones are turning me into Kayoko!" She laughs and wipes her tears, "My boobs are even getting bigger!"

Akari and I are at the Yamaku Student Art Show in the performing arts center lobby. I was excited to learn that Junichiro has a sculpture on display. Despite all the time we spend together, he talks surprisingly little about his art with me. But there was some very real pride on his face when he told me he had a sculpture in this art show. He said he would really like my thoughts about it. I'm no art expert, but I'm excited to see what he made.

Right now, we're looking for his piece. All we know is that it's a sculpture. Akari just waved to me, she must have found it. I walk over to her, and we look at the sculpture together.

It's a pair of hands from the wrist down and piano keys. It's about half-scale. The hands have long, slender fingers and they are gracefully touching the keys. I would guess they are the hands of a woman, one with lots of experience playing the piano. There's a serious sense of movement coming from the sculpture, even though it is obviously static. I almost expect to hear the music the hands are playing.

The info card next to it says "Junichiro Ito - Perseverance #1."

"Interesting. Looks like he managed to combine his two interests, huh?"

Akari gives me a bewildered look and then says, "Yoko…they are your hands."

"Huh?"

I look more closely at the sculpture. Now I see the wrist braces. I stretch my hands out in front of me and compare them. They are my hands. Exactly my hands.

Funny Akari noticed before I did. But I guess she looks at my hands more than I do.

"D-do you like it, senpai?"

I turn around and see Junichiro, who is blushing and wringing his hands together.

I smile, "I do. But I'm a little surprised."

He nods and bows his head, "I was embarrassed to tell you. I should have. I'm sorry."

Akari says, with a hint of suspicion in her voice, "Wh-why Yoko?"

She thinks he likes me. I didn't even think of that. But I am almost certain he doesn't.

"I got the idea when I was watching her play. She inspired me. She's my muse…I guess. I…want to do a series on disability and people doing what they love despite them. This is the first one."

"Well…I'm honored to be your muse, and that's a cool idea. But…how'd you get my hands so accurate? It's not like I modeled for you."

He looks embarrassed, "I secretly took some pictures on my phone. I should have asked. I was too embarrassed. I'm sorry…b-but I hope it's a nice surprise."

I smile, "It is. But next time you don't have to be so secretive. I would have just modeled for you if you asked."

He bows his head and looks ashamed.

I didn't mean to make him feel bad.

"It's actually…a really amazing sculpture. I thought that before realizing it was my hands, so it isn't just vanity. It is quite the likeness." I put my hands right next to the sculpture and smirk at him. He looks up and smiles ear-to-ear.

Akari, no longer sounding suspicious, says, "It really is beautiful. Wh-what's it made of?"

He smiles, "It's clay. If I end up being able to do this series…I want to do it in bronze."

From behind us we hear, "Junichiro…it looks amazin'! I hadn't seen it since it came out of the kiln."

We all turn to the source of the familiar voice and see Chisa, who is with a tall guy with brown hair and green eyes. He uses a forearm crutch on his left side.

Junichiro's smile disappears and he flatly says, "Th-thank you."

"Was she surprised?"

I smile, "I was." I look at her companion.

"Oh…this is Goro. My…boyfriend. This is Akari, Kayoko, an'…Junichiro." She looks at Junichiro with a slight sadness in her eyes as she says these words. Junichiro looks away from her.

Akari says, "N-nice to meet you."

Woops, I was caught up in the exchange between Junichiro and Chisa and didn't say anything. Luckily Akari was paying attention.

Goro says, "Junichiro, I don't know much about art, but it's amazing you made these hands with your own two hands."

Junichiro glares and him and says, "What is that supposed to mean?"

Goro, taken aback, says, "N-nothing. It was a dumb joke because…hands. I just mean…it's a very good sculpture. I didn't mean to offend."

Junichiro half-heartedly says, "Thanks." without looking at Goro.

I change the subject in an attempt to shake away the awkwardness, "Do you have one of your paintings here, Chisa?"

She nods, looking uncomfortable, "Yeah…um. Over there, on the far wall." She points and I can see some of her distinctive green in the distance. "Um…we're gonna go. See you all."

We all bid them farewell, and then Akari and I look at the rest of the exhibit with Junichiro. The whole time, it's like he's somewhere else. He's quiet and responds to people with one word with a flat expression on his face. Even when he gets compliments from other students and faculty about his sculpture.

The three of us leave together and once we're at the fork in the road between the two dorms, I ask, "Are you okay?"

He frowns and responds, "I…don't know."

Akari says, "D-do you need to talk about it?"

He sighs, "Yeah, I guess so." He looks at Akari, "I-is it…okay if it's just Kayoko?"

I can see that Akari is a little hurt by the request. I don't blame her. He's closer to Akari than he is to anyone but me and I know she wants to help. But he's very private about his condition, so it must be related to that.

"Yeah…that's fine. I'll uh…go to the girls' d-dorm. See you in a bit, Yoko."

…

I'm with Junichiro in his room now, sitting next to him on his bed. He's hanging his head and frowning. He looks defeated. And on the verge of tears.

"You probably figured out tonight that I…lied about what happened with Chisa."

"Oh. She broke up with you? That explains a lot."

He shakes his head, "I broke up with her."

"I don't understand. Then what did you lie about?"

"I didn't break up with her because I didn't like her. I did like her. It was because she wanted to know about my condition, and I didn't want to tell her. And she wouldn't let up about it. I didn't want to say…I couldn't have sex like most people. Or…have kids. Or…some other…personal stuff about my condition. I thought…she'd break up with me if she knew it all. So, I broke up with her instead of telling her."

She is a sort of nosey person, but if you're in a relationship with someone for a couple months it probably isn't unreasonable to want to know these things. Especially because his situation has some real bearing on a relationship. Still, I can't imagine being in his shoes. When during a relationship do you drop it on your significant other that you can't have traditional sex? Or have children?

"I see."

He frowns and starts to get choked up, "I…I should have just told her. I didn't know it would hurt so much…" He looks at me and starts to bawl, so I put my arm around him, and he leans into my shoulder.

"I w-was…doing okay…b-b-but…." He trails off and starts to cry harder. I hold him tighter.

"Hard seeing another guy with her?"

He nods.

He continues to cry but forces out words where he can. "I should have told…her…about me…I love…her. I…want…to be…with…her."

There's not really anything I can say. There aren't any words that will bring him comfort. So, I just hold him to let him know I'm here for him.

After crying for a few minutes, he sniffles and pulls away, "I feel better…after crying, believe it or not. And talking to you."

I laugh, "I believe you. I frequently feel better after crying. People always call me a crybaby, but I think they're missing out on the catharsis of a good cry."

He laughs, but then frowns, "I can't believe I messed things up this badly. I…want to go to her and tell her everything…but I shouldn't, should I?"

"I…don't think so. Not when she has a boyfriend."

He sighs, "That's what I thought. I missed my chance. Now she's with a tall handsome guy who looks his age." He sighs. "I shouldn't have snapped at him. …I thought he was making fun of my small hands. But…he wasn't. God, I was such a jerk…"

"Well…you were upset, you can apologize to him later."

He nods and then sighs, "I lost her because…because I was scared to open up. Scared what she would say…I'm so stupid."

"You might get another chance."

"You think so?"

"I think it could happen. High school relationships aren't always the most stable."

He scoffs, "That doesn't seem true for my friends."

"Okay, but I'm pretty sure Ai and Carsten are the only couple who got together in their first year and are still together now. They are the outliers. I mean, Akari and I both had relationships our first year that didn't last. It's a real possibility, is all I'm saying."

He nods, "I guess…if nothing else, I have learned a lesson. I need to tell the next girl."

"Yeah. Probably. Or at least…if you don't feel like you can tell them right away…tell them you're working up to it or something."

He nods and hugs me. "Thank you, senpai. Tell…Akari I'm sorry. Obviously…I'm struggling with how to talk about my health with people. I felt bad since she was the one who asked if I wanted to talk…and then I told her I didn't want it to be her." He sighs, "I'm just not ready for her to know. I'm not even ready for you to know…not all of it."

"I understand. She understands too, I think. But I'll tell her."

Akari and I are in her room studying. Of course we are. That's what we do right now with most of our waking hours. But the national test is just a few weeks out, so that's how it has to be. Just as I'm considering asking Akari to take a break, my phone rings.

"It's Shizuka."

Akari nods without looking up. She's really stressed about examination hell. So am I, but next to her you wouldn't know. She's too stressed right now to pull herself away from the books. Studying hard makes her feel better about things.

"I'll go talk to her in my room."

Akari nods again.

I go across the hall to my room and answer the phone.

Shizuka responds, "Hey…do you have a while? I really need to talk…"

I check the time. "Um…yeah, I should be good for a bit. I need a study break anyway."

"Well as you know, I've been corresponding with…him, and he told me everything…and I don't know how to feel."

"What do you mean?"

She sighs, "I don't know. I thought things were different for so long…who I am as a person…has even been shaped by the idea that…he didn't really want me. And now…to find out…he loved me?..."

She trails off.

"It isn't better that way?"

"No. It makes me feel worse."

"It does? Doesn't it feel better that he wasn't just using you for sex? That it meant something to him, like it did to you?"

"I guess…maybe I feel better about myself. But it also means I lost even more than I thought I did. If not for his father…we might be married. We might have raised you together."

"Yeah…I can see what you mean. That's a very different life you could have had."

"Yeah. So it's like…I'm mourning that life now. Even though I never had it."

"That sucks. I'm sorry…I didn't think about it all making you feel worse."

"I think…in the long run, I'll feel better. I do feel…closure, knowing everything now. Things all make more sense. But for now…I'm mourning."

"I hope you come out of it feeling better. Let me know if I can help."

She laughs and I swear I can hear her rolling her eyes, "You are, right now, onee-chan."

I laugh, "Oh no. You're going to start calling me that in that sarcastic tone, aren't you?"

She giggles, "I hadn't planned on it, but since it seems to bother you…I think I probably will…onee-chan."

I sigh, "I guess I deserve it for being so annoying about helping you."

"Well…it's not all me making fun of you. Loathe as I am to admit it, that is kind of what our relationship dynamic has been so far. It's been good for me, even if it bothers me sometimes."

"Well...that's good, then."

"It is. By the way, did he give you any gifts? He asked for my address to send one, and I feel really weird about it."

I laugh, "He did. When we met in person, he gave each of us Prada handbags. We feel weird about it too. We never use them. We might sell them to help our friends who are having a baby. They are nice, though."

She laughs, "That's so weird. Like he's trying to buy off his guilt or something."

"That's probably part of it. But he did mention it was his wife who picked them out. I'm not sure if that makes it more or less weird, though."

She giggles, "She's probably just donating stuff she never uses to us regular people."

"I guess that's possible. Does that mean you'll turn him down?"

She laughs. "Probably not. I might just sell it too, though. It's like a Christmas bonus."

"Oh! Speaking of which, my mom, Akari, and I are going to be in Tokyo for Christmas. I'd like to see you when we're there if you'll be around. You could even come over for Christmas Day at Akari's parents' house."

"I will be. It would be great to see you. I do Christmas stuff in the morning with my family but would be free in the afternoon and evening."

"Then you should definitely come by." I sigh, "Akari and I will be studying at various times throughout the day, but I'm planning on being done for the day around 5."

"Your mom and everyone would be okay with me being there?"

"My mom is for sure. I will double check with Akari's parents, but I'm pretty sure they are okay with it too. They like you because you got us to Tokyo this summer."

"Okay…well…I will stop by, then, once Akari's parents sign off on it. Thank you for inviting me."

"Of course. I'm really excited for you and my mom to meet. Actually, I should warn you about her."

Shizuka sounds genuinely concerned when she says, "...warn me?"

"Yeah, but it's nothing serious. She's just kind of silly. The type that will hug you the minute she meets you and probably tell you how beautiful you are."

Shizuka laughs, "That doesn't sound so bad."

"It's not, but I didn't want her to catch you off-guard."

Ms. Hamada and I are meeting in her office to talk about my little gene editing project. I haven't been able to dedicate all my time to it, but I've still thoroughly studied about 25 genetic disorders and figured out which chromosomes those genes are on, and what those genes control.

We just finished up.

As I stand up, she says, "So…you did all of this, and you're so passionate when you talk about it, and you still haven't chosen science?"

I frown, "No. Sorry. I'm teaching a first year piano and it's been…just as fulfilling. That's the problem."

Ms. Hamada shakes her head, "Fine, fine. I guess at least you're still teaching if you go that route."

As we're leaving, I see Ms. Hamada get out her phone and smile ear to ear about something that's on it. When she starts typing out something, I realize it must be a text message. It's Friday, so I wonder…

"So, do you have any plans this weekend?"

Ms. Yoshida blinks a few times, "Um…n-no. Not really. Just grading, lesson plans and the like."

"You're a teacher 24/7, huh? Even on the weekends?"

She frowns and stops walking, "K-kayoko…have you…heard something…?"

Shit. Why is she this smart? Or, why am I this bad at being sneaky?

"No. I was just wondering what your weekends are like. Sorry, probably too personal."

She winces, "Y-you… have heard something. I was worried this would happen." Panic appears on her face. "Does…everyone know?"

I innocently say, "Know what?"

Her eyes narrow, "You aren't a good liar, and this whole line of questioning is suspicious. Just be honest with me, please."

I sigh, "Akari and I saw Hideki over summer break. He told us you and Masa are seeing each other. No one knows but me and Akari."

She sighs and sits back down at her desk. "Well…I guess that's the end of that. Do me a favor and just…keep it to you and Akari."

I sit back down across from her, "I will. But wait…you're going to…break it off?"

"I have to. It was a bad idea to begin with. The guilt has been eating me alive anyway. This was the kick in the pants I needed."

"What's the big deal, though? He hasn't been a student for two years."

"Just…imagine being a parent sending your student here and knowing that one of the teachers is in a romantic relationship with someone who was their student just two years ago."

"Yeah…I guess that doesn't sound good."

She puts a hand over her face. "Your father never would have done this. He would be appalled. And now…I'm having a conversation with you about a personal relationship. That's bad too."

"Do…you love him?"

"Did you not hear a word I just said? I shouldn't even be talking to you about this."

"I know, but we already are. So, let's finish the conversation. Is it love?"

She just barely nods and then says, "But I haven't told him and don't plan to."

I nod, "Well…then I'm very sorry it has to end. And sorry that I brought it on."

She sighs, "It was inevitable. I'm his former teacher and more than 20 years older than he is. It was never going to be long-term…We both knew that. We never put a label on it, never said 'I love you,' never met parents, never went on dates…none of it. Because we knew. Our relationship was…just in his apartment. That was the rule."

"What made you…decide to do that? Date him…I mean."

She glares at me for a moment and then frowns, "I'm the worst teacher in the world."

"Huh?"

"I shouldn't talk to you even more about this…but I haven't talked about it to anyone, and I probably need to. I trust you. You're too much like your dad for me not to."

I smile at the compliment.

"Anyway…here's the story. I didn't really notice him as a student, not in any special way, anyway. He was a good student, that's all. I have…many students who…admire me, let's say, and I have mostly learned to tune it out. I have since learned he was one of them." She smiles. "But then, after graduation he confessed to me, brought me flowers. It was the best confession I had ever received. I could tell he really cared for me. As much as he could, anyway, with what little he knew of me. Still, I told him that we couldn't be together, and didn't hear from him or…think about him for several months. He was just this cute kid who confessed to me."

We helped him with that confession. Maybe we should be offering a service that we charge for.

She smiles, "But then, we happened to run into each other in Sendai. He asked me to have coffee with him, and we exchanged numbers…against my better judgment." She sighs. "He was just so earnest, you know? And he looks at me with such…I dunno, reverence? Like I'm a goddess or something. It made it hard not to be charmed by him."

I laugh, "I bet. So, after that you two started your…thing?"

She shakes her head, "Not quite. We started texting some, and then it became texting a lot, and then we started talking on the phone…and yeah, after several months…we started our…thing." She smiles for a moment, but then her face turns gloomy.

I was worried about Masa getting hurt in this whole thing…but she clearly is going to be hurting too.

"There's just…no way to make it work?"

She shakes her head and frowns, "No. Not if I want to keep my job here. And I do."

"You don't think…you can keep it going how it is? I promise you I won't tell anyone."

She hugs herself and looks down and shakes her head without saying anything. Just as I'm about to respond she says,

"On top of everything, this isn't fair to him. He's a young man who should have normal relationships with girls his own age. Not a secret half-relationship with a woman twice his age. It was selfish of me."

I solemnly nod my head. "Okay. That makes sense. It sucks. But it makes sense."

She nods, and I think I see tears forming in the corner of her eyes as she stands up. I'm sure of it once she starts speaking, and her voice cracks.

"It does. Anyway…have a good weekend, Kayoko."

"Um…would it…be okay for me to hug you?"

She sighs, "That's the least of my problems, and I could really use one." We share a brief hug.

"Thank you, Kayoko. I'll be okay. I'll see you later."

I nod and head out in the hall.

I wish there was some way I could help her. But…there just isn't.

I have one last lesson with Junichiro before winter vacation. However, when I get to the music room, he looks tired and upset.

I've never seen him like this at the beginning of a lesson. Even if he's upset and wants to talk, he saves it for the end.

I sit down next to him and put an arm around him, "You seem really down for the day before vacation. Is it Chisa?"

He sighs, "No…it's not Chisa. But I do really miss her. I am just…dreading vacation."

I frown, "Problems at home?"

"Um…no, not exactly."

Okay, he doesn't want to talk about this anymore. I won't push him.

Just as I am about to start the day's lesson, he quietly says, "My…condition causes benign tumors to grow in my body. I have surgery all the time to get them removed. That's how I'm spending my vacation."

Wait…this is starting to sound like a genetic condition I read about recently for Ms. Hamada's little assignment. What was it?

I frown, "That's no fun."

He sighs, "Nope. I even have to have surgery to clear up scar tissue from past surgery. It's a really fun cycle."

I quietly and cautiously say, "Is it…Von Hippel-Lindau Disease?"

Please say no. It sounds too much like it for it not to be…but please…say no. Please let me be wrong.

His eyes go wide as saucers, then he moves away from me and stands up. His face is red with anger and his fists and jaw are clenched. "How the hell do you know that, Kayoko!? H-have y-you…been researching everything I tell you? D-did you ask the nurse or something? I know she knows your mom. I bet that's what you did. Stuck your nose where it didn't belong. That's messed up Kayoko…I t-trusted you…I thought you weren't going to pry…b-b-but you did." He turns away from me and starts to walk towards the exit. But then he sits down in one of the chairs and doubles over and cries into his hands, his small shoulders shaking violently.

I walk over to him and sit in the chair next to him. I put my arm around his shoulders. He seems a little angry about it at first, but then settles into my side. I notice now there are tears on my face too.

"You know I'm in science club, right? Well…my biggest area of interest is genetics. I'm doing an assignment on genetic conditions right now…I have one too, so did my dad…so do a lot of my friends. So, if I study science, that's what I want to work on. I just…happened to read about your condition recently, and it came together with what you told me today."

He cries into my side, "Then…y-you…y-you know…"

I know that it's fatal. It's caused by a mutation in a tumor suppressor gene on chromosome 3. Surgery can delay things, but there's no way to stop it. "Benign" is a funny word, since it just means they aren't cancerous. The fact is, if you have lots of masses growing in your body and you have to have frequent surgery, it's bad news. They may as well be malignant when they are in your spinal cord, organs, or brain. He has probably already had more surgeries than Akari has. And he'll be lucky to live until he's 40. This also explains why he isn't on hormone therapy. Hormones can accelerate tumor growth, something he can ill afford.

I hold him tighter, "I do. So, you don't have to say anything else."

"W-will you…promise to keep it secret?"

"Yes. No one needs to know."

He says, "N-not even Akari?"

"Not even her. I haven't told her any of the other stuff, have I?"

"Thank you. I don't really want people to know. I…didn't really want you to know. I wanted to tell you about the surgery but…I thought I could be vague, and you wouldn't know that it's…how it is…"

"I'm sorry…I should have kept it to myself."

He breaks the hug and walks back over to the piano and sits on the bench. "It's okay. You're my best friend…so if someone knows, it makes sense that it's you, senpai. Just…try not to treat me differently. That's why I don't want people to know."

I follow him back to the piano and say, "I'll do my best not to." I transition to my stern piano teacher voice. "Now then, don't forget to do your hand warmups today!"

He laughs and then looks up at me as he starts stretching his hands. While he does he says, "I'm sorry…I should have asked. Y-your…condition …isn't…like mine, is it?"

"No. Mostly just a nuisance…hurts my joints, which you know about. It's why I had to give up piano as a career."

"Well…that sucks too."

I nod, "Indeed it does. But…I think we can both agree yours sucks more."

He's like Saki. I wish my dad were here. He would be able to talk to him about this so much better than I can. Wait a minute…

"This…is why you knew so much about Saki, isn't it?"

"Yeah. And it's why I wish I could talk to her…a big part of it, anyway. I haven't met anyone…like me. So, I have a million questions for her." He stops stretching his hands and his face gets serious. "I'm…a lot like her, Kayoko."

"Yeah. I know. That's what I was just realizing."

"I really want to leave something behind, like she did. That's why…I'm learning art and music at the same time."

"Well, that seems like a good way to do it."

He looks down and wrings his hands together. Then he looks up at me again. "Th-there's…another way, I'm like her, too…"

Tears well up inside of me and start spilling over my cheeks. I know what he means. He can tell that I do. I don't need to say anything. He takes my hand.

"I…can't do all the surgeries forever. I'm sick of them already. I'm sick of the pain. I'm sick of needing surgeries to clear up scar tissue I have from other surgeries. I already have chronic pain from all of it, and it's only going to get worse. So…at some point…I don't know when…but at some point…I'm going to reach my limit. When I do…"

I sniffle and squeeze his hand, "I understand."

He raises his eyebrows, "You…do?"

"As best I can, anyway. My dad understood why Saki wanted to do it. He helped me understand why she wanted to do it." I take a deep breath, "So…I understand why you want to, too."

He smiles, starts to cry softly, and hugs me. We sit together on the piano bench, hugging and crying.

I've known so many people who were affected by genetic conditions. My dad, Akari, Hana, Hideki and myself…but Junichiro is the first time I've met someone whose condition was so horrible that they wanted to die. Kayoko and Saki were in the same boat…but I never knew them. Meeting someone like them really drives the point home in a way that nothing else could.

I break the hug, wipe away my tears and say, "I want you to know…no matter what, you've already left something behind."

He wipes his tears with his sleeve, "You mean…my sculpture? I'm not sure that's enough."

"Well…it's a great sculpture. But what I mean is…I'm always going to remember you. You'll always be special to me."

He smiles, "Thank you…but I still want to do something more. M-maybe…the series of sculptures I want to do will be enough."

"I'm not telling you to stop. You definitely should keep sculpting. And playing piano. But…you know what? I think this muse things goes both ways. You've done something that I thought was impossible."

He gives me a confused grin, "The…impossible?"

I laugh, "Yep. You got me to finally settle on a career path."

It's winter vacation. Akari and I seem to be the only ones left in the dorm. Now that my grandparents live with my mom and we no longer have the rent house, we don't have anywhere else to stay. But it's kind of nice being here all alone. We have the whole place to ourselves.

Of course, we're spending most of our time studying. That's what we're doing now. But it's still nice being together.

My phone vibrates in my pocket.

It's Junichiro. His surgery is today. I can't just answer here or Akari might learn something he doesn't want her to know.

I stand up from the desk and head to the door, "I'm gonna take this call outside."

Akari is stunned. "Y-you're what?!"

There was a better excuse than that, Nakai!

I walk out the door and head for the elevator as if she didn't say anything, and then I answer the call as I get in.

"Hey there, how's my favorite piano student?"

He quietly says, "Hi…senpai."

"Hey…what's up? Your surgery was today, right?"

The elevator opens and I head for a bench between the two dorms, where I take a seat.

"It…was. I…just wanted to talk to you. I hope that's okay."

"Of course it is. Are you okay?"

He starts to cry. He's trying to say something too, but I can't make it out.

"Is there any way I can help?"

I faintly hear a woman's voice say, "Jun-chan? Are you okay? Who are you talking to?"

Then I hear that woman's voice more clearly and she sounds angry, "Hello? Who is this?"

"Um…hello. I'm Kayoko Nakai. Junichiro's friend. Is…he okay?"

"Oh, he told me about you. Hello. I apologize for snapping at you, I thought perhaps you said something to upset him, but from what he tells me…that isn't something you would do. I'm his mother. He's…okay. He had-..Oh, he wants the phone back now."

"K-kayoko?"

"Yeah…I'm here."

"S-sorry for breaking down like that."

"I cry about far less than surgery, so don't apologize."

He laughs softly. "That's true."

"Did…everything go okay?"

"No…there were complications with my surgery. I'm…okay, but…it's hard. I'll be in the hospital longer; I won't be at school for a little while. I'm really down about it. I hate these stupid surgeries…and I hate these stupid tumors…and I hate my stupid body."

"What is the complication?"

He sighs and is silent for a moment. Just when I'm about to say he doesn't need to tell me he says, "They went in to remove some tumors from one of my kidneys. But…the removal didn't go well. There were more tumors than expected, and the kidney got damaged enough during the surgery that they just…decided to remove the whole thing."

"That's crappy."

He sighs, "Yeah…it is." His voice sounds distant for a moment. "Mom…can I have some privacy for a second?"

His voice returns to normal, "I-it…is worse because…it reminded me of what happened…with my um…testicles. When I was younger, my tumors were most frequently on…my epididymis. I had surgery several times on them…and after the fifth surgery I woke up without testicles. The tumors and scar tissue were just too bad when they went in…and it was best in the long run to reduce surgeries. My…mom had to sign off on it." He sighs. "I…think it was the right choice. I would have lost them eventually…but I wish I wasn't 10 when it happened."

"That's…I can't imagine how hard that was…and is…"

"That's part of why I hate it. I never know what's going to happen…when they go in…I…I never know if I'll even b-be okay…and there are always g-going to be more surgeries…" He trails off and starts crying again. I start crying too.

"…you're in Tokyo right? Would you like it if I came to see you?"

He sniffles, "I can't ask you to do that. It's a long way."

"Akari, my mom, and I are coming there anyway on the 23rd, doing Christmas with Akari's family."

"Okay…well it…would be nice if you visited."

"…are you okay with me telling Akari about everything? I know I told you I wouldn't. And I haven't. And if your answer is still 'no,' I won't say a word to her. But…there's no way she won't ask about the situation…she already suspects something. She won't tell anyone."

"Um…okay. I trust her. I should have sooner. But no one else, okay?"

"Okay. No one else. See you in a few days. You can always call and text if you need me."

"Okay…th-thank you, Kayoko. For everything."

I go back up the elevator to Akari's room, and before I can say anything to her, she says.

"What's going on? Y-you…never take private calls like that. And you look really upset now. Who w-was it?"

Good thing I got Junichiro's permission to tell her, this would be hard to explain away.

"Junichiro. He-"

She interrupts with a loud sigh, "H-he's in love with you, isn't he? I thought maybe he was, after seeing his sculpture. Wh-what is with all these people?" She hugs me around my waist. "Don't they know you are all mine? They need to b-back off."

I can't help but laugh at her.

I WISH that's what it was.

She lets go of me and smiles bashfully. "Okay…s-so it's not that…sorry."

"No, it isn't. I would tell you that. This is something I promised him not to tell you…but he told me I can now."

She nods and starts to look very concerned, "I-is…he okay?"

I start to tear up, and all I can do now is shake my head and sit down on the bed.

Knowing that things must be really bad, Akari gets next to me and takes me into her arms, and we lie down together. I rest my head on her chest and cry as I tell her everything about Junichiro's fatal condition, that one day he wants to do what Saki did, the kinds of things he's been through, and his most recent complications. By the end she's crying with me.

I hear a noise that sounds like sniffling outside our door, and so does Akari. She says, "Who's there?"

We hear the sound of a door a few rooms down opening and closing. Akari and I exchange a look, I'm sure we're both thinking the same thing.

Shit. We didn't think anyone was here. Of COURSE it's her. Nosy girl that she is.

We get up together and go knock on Chisa's door. She doesn't answer.

"Chisa…we know you're in there. Maybe you don't want to talk now…but we should. We'll be in Akari's room when you're ready."

As we turn around, her door opens, and she steps out. Her face is tear-stained "I-I'm…sorry. I was walkin' by and heard you cryin'…and I was worried maybe you two had a fight…and was gonna check on you…then…I heard what you were sayin'…" She barely manages to choke out the next sentence between her tears, "H-he's d-doin' b-badly?"

I hug her and say, "Why don't you come to Akari's room, and we can talk."

She nods and follows us. Akari and I sit on the bed, and I expect Chisa to sit at the desk, but she sits down next to me and looks at me with pleading eyes.

"P-please…how is he? I…d-didn't hear everything. What I did hear sounded bad, b-but…maybe I misheard."

Did she hear that his condition is fatal? Or that he wants to go out on his own terms? I probably shouldn't volunteer that, even if Junichiro did tell me he wished he had told her everything. He should still be the one to tell her, so I'll be as vague as possible while still conveying how he feels right now.

"He's…okay. He had a planned surgery, but it ended up being more extensive than planned. He'll end up missing some school. He's having a hard time with it."

She nods and seems to pull herself together now that she knows what's going on. "I-is he in Tokyo? Is that where y-you're goin'?"

"Yes, we are going for Christmas, so we'll stop by to see him."

She grabs my arm with both of her hands and looks at me intently and opens her mouth to say something.

Akari calmly but firmly says, "You need to let go of her, right now!"

Holy crap. She sounds JUST like her mom. It sent a tingle up my spine, and it wasn't even directed at me. Poor Chisa.

Chisa looks at her in surprise, confusion, and fear for a moment, then listens to the command and starts to tear up. Akari relaxes.

I try to salvage the situation. "You don't know about my condition. Put simply: if someone pulls on my limbs, bad stuff happens. Akari was keeping me from accidentally getting hurt."

Chisa scoots away from me, like I'm made of glass.

Chisa looks disgusted with herself. "I'm s-sorry…"

I put my hand on her shoulder, "It's okay. You know now. What were you about to say?"

"Um…now that I almost hurt you…it d-doesn't matter."

Akari says, "S-sorry I got like that. You didn't hurt her, and even if you d-did…it would have been an accident. It happens sometimes. I just wanted to prevent it if I could." She laughs wryly. "She actually helped someone once after they hurt her in a similar situation, so don't w-worry."

Chisa smiles slightly and looks at each of us before saying, "C-can…I come with you?"

"To…Tokyo?"

She nods, "I want to see him…help him if I can."

Akari and I exchange a look and I say, "Won't your family miss you for the holiday?"

"No."

I want to ask so many questions, but this isn't the time for that.

Akari asks, "D-don't you…have a boyfriend?"

"No. We broke up a few weeks ago. Please…I just wanna be there for him…if he'll let me."

Akari and I exchange another look, and I say, "We're going to go across the hall…and talk about this. We'll have to ask her parents and stuff. You…just stay here." I smirk and wag my finger at her. "No listening in!"

She smiles slightly and nods, so we go across the hall to my room. Just to be careful, we whisper as quietly as possible.

"D-do you think he wants her to come?"

I nod. "He loves her…and told me he wishes he had told her everything." I smile. "I think…it would be a really great surprise for him. One that will raise his spirits, if we walk in with her."

Akari nods, "Okay…g-good enough for me. I'll…see what my mom says. You go back to my r-room."

I nod, and return to Akari's room, where Chisa hasn't moved from her spot on the bed. She greets me with a hopeful smile. I sit back down next to her.

"Akari is talking to her mom now…the woman has a soft spot for romance, so even though it's the last minute, I think she will say it's okay. Have to wait and see, though."

She nods, "Thanks for even tryin'." She sighs. "I guess it's obvious, but…I still love him. I…realized that, and that's why I broke up with Goro."

I want to scream: HE LOVES YOU TOO!

I smile, "You know I like you two together…I hope it can work out."

"Me too. He told you what happened between us?

I nod, and she continues, "It…hurt me that he wouldn't tell me about himself an' dumped me over it…b-but…I get it now. Talkin' about it is hard. I don't know if he wants me back, but I wanna help him if I can. He doesn't have to tell me anything if he doesn't wanna."

I smile at her, "That's a good attitude to have. I don't know for sure how he'll react, or what he'll tell you."

Akari comes in and says, "Okay. My m-mom has approved. The sleeping arrangements may get a little…creative, but it w-will be fine."

Chisa gets up and tackle-hugs Akari, drawing a grunt out of her. Chisa says, "Th-thank you."

Akari hugs her back and says, "You're w-welcome. But…please never hug Kayoko like this."

Chisa breaks the hug with a bashful smile and says, "I'll go pack. See you two in the morning."

Once she leaves Akari and I sit down on the bed, exhausted, and lean into each other.

"S-some night this turned out to be. I was hoping we could make love before having to be celibate at my parents.'"

I giggle, "Oh yeah? Don't have it in you right now?"

"I don't think so. Too t-tired after everything."

"Sounds like you're challenging me."

"Huh?"

I stand up in front of her and slowly take off my clothes. She looks drowsy at first, but by the time I take my bra off, which I saved for last, she looks very much awake.

I innocently say, "You sure you don't want to? Cause I could really use your hands..." I take a step toward her and grab her right hand and guide it to my right breast. I take her left hand and place it on my hip. "...all over me. I want you really badly, Akari." Then, I sit down next to her and she enthusiastically embraces me.

In the end, it turned out she wasn't too tired.

"So, Chisa, have you been to Tokyo before?"

"No ma'am, not really. Just the train station. To tell you the truth, I ain't spent much time in cities." She looks out the window. "Sendai seems really big to me, even though I know it ain't."

We're on the way to the train station in Sendai. Akari is asleep on my shoulder. I guess maybe she did need more sleep last night. Woops.

My mom is talking to Chisa, whose long legs led to me offering her the front seat.

"Ah, so you aren't from one of the cities in Kansai?"

"No ma'am. I'm from a satoyama."

I say, "Sato-what?"

My mom smiles triumphantly, "I know something you don't, Kayoko? It's…a farming village in the mountains, right, Chisa?"

"Yes, ma'am. More or less."

"Oh, that's cool. So, you help with farming when you're home?"

She nods and I think I detect a hint of sadness in her voice, "I…used to."

Suddenly, something occurs to me. Her paintings use a whole lot of green. "Your paintings…some of them are your home?"

"Well…how I feel about home."

"Right."

Most of them are beautiful and unsettling, I wonder what that means.

…

We just got on the train. The four of us got a table, which is good because Akari and I need to study. Akari is awake now, but barely. She is sleepily getting her notes out of her bag. If she got too comfortable, she would fall asleep again. It's kind of adorable, but I feel a little bad about seducing her last night. Only a little though. It isn't like I didn't give her a good time.

"You two still tryin' to get into Tokyo together?"

"Yep, that's plan A. Sorry, we have a lot of studying to do on this trip. We have the national exam not long after we get back."

She nods, "I understand."

My mom smiles, "I don't have any studying to do."

Without looking up from her notes, Akari says, "I-if you two are going to chat a lot, c-can you go somewhere else?"

All three of us are surprised by Akari's annoyed tone. I know she's starting to get very anxious about the next round of exams, so my surprise fades quickly. I should probably expect her to be irritable. Especially when sleep deprived.

She looks up, realizing how she sounded, "S-sorry. I should have said…p-please, and not sounded so mean."

My mom smiles, "That's okay. It's a stressful time." She looks at Chisa, "Let's go get some ekibens and chat somewhere else."

Chisa nods and the two of them go off. We spend most of the train ride studying.

…

Akari and I just woke up to an alarm we set. We got to the Yoshida household earlier, and she was exhausted, so before heading to the hospital we decided to nap.

We head out to the living room, where we see Chisa talking with both of our moms. Mrs. Yoshida sees us first and smiles, "You two are keeping this poor girl in suspense just so you can nap?"

Akari shoots a brief glare at Chisa, and then looks at her mom. "W-well…I was really tired. We're gonna go now."

My mom laughs, "Chiaki is making it sound like Chisa was complaining. She wasn't. Your mom's just teasing."

Mrs. Yoshida realizes her mistake. "Oh. Yes. Sorry, Chisa. I didn't mean to make it seem like you were impatient."

Chisa smiles, "That's okay. I do feel a little antsy."

"Okay, shall we go?"

Chisa and Akari nod, the two moms wish her luck, and we head outside to get a cab to the hospital.

…

We're standing in front of the door to Junichiro's hospital room, trying to decide the best way to do this.

"Should Akari and I go in first? Or-"

Chisa opens the door and goes in. I guess she couldn't take it. She probably didn't even realize I was talking now that we're here. She's standing in front of the door of the person she loves, and he needs help. I probably wouldn't have listened either if it was Akari on the other side of the door.

Akari and I shrug and follow her in.

When we enter the room, we see Chisa pulling up a chair next to Junichiro and then she offers him her hand. He hesitates for a moment and then gives it to her.

He looks happy, but also confused. "Wh-what…are you doing here? Is it…okay for us to hold hands?"

"Yes. Very okay. I'm single." She smiles at him. "I came here today to help, if you want me to…and also to apologize for being so pushy before."

"It's okay…I regret not telling you about it all. I should have."

I clear my throat, causing Junichiro to look at us in surprise. "We're here too, just so you know."

He smiles bashfully when he sees us, "Sorry." Then he thinks for a moment. "Wait. How did this happen, anyway? You all came together?"

"I was…eavesdroppin', and basically forced 'em to take me."

Akari laughs, "You make it sound like you are a v-villain. It wasn't that bad. She…overheard on accident, then asked to come."

Junichiro looks at Chisa, "Wh-what all did you overhear?"

"That you had surgery…and were in the hospital havin' a hard time."

He breathes in deeply and then breathes out. "Okay. I…want to tell you everything about it. Why I needed surgery…my condition…why I'm small…all of it. I missed my chance before."

She shakes her head. "You don't need to be doin' that now. Just rest. I'm happy just bein' here to help."

He shakes his head. "I've been resting. I want to tell you. I don't want to waste any more time. Also…parts of it are…things you should probably know before deciding if you want to be with me…"

Chisa nods and looks serious, "Okay. If you want to tell me…I'll listen."

I interject, "Akari and I are going to go study in the cafeteria. Um…we'll be back in what?"

I look at Akari who says, "T-two hours."

Junichiro smiles at us, "Thank you. I promise I want to see you two, too."

I laugh, "Yeah, yeah, sure you do. You kids have fun."

…

After studying in the cafeteria for about an hour and a half, Akari loses focus and says, "D-do you think she'll still want to be with him?"

I look up from my notes, "I don't know. I am leaning towards 'yes' though. She really loves him, as I think this little episode tells us."

Akari nods, "Sh-she does. But…knowing he will die young…and can't have kids…or," She whispers, "t-traditional sex…" Her voice returns to normal, "Those…are big things."

"They are. But…my dad got with a woman around the same age, and she had two of those three things going on. And he did it because he loved her, and wanted to be with her while he could."

"S-so you think they are like Saki and your dad?"

I shrug, "Maybe. I could see it for sure. I hope so, if I'm being honest."

"M-me too." She whispers, "What if I c-couldn't have sex, would you b-be with me?"

I laugh, "Nope. I only stick around because you're so good at it."

Akari giggles, but then gets serious and reaches out her hand, so I do the same. "I w-would stay with you…you know, if…any, or all of those things were true."

I smile at her, "I would stay with you too, obviously." Then I smirk and say, "Would you stay with me if I didn't have my boobs, though?"

Akari laughs, "N-nope. Those have to stay in all scenarios, or I'm gone."

…

It has been a little over two hours since we left Junichiro and Chisa alone. We haven't heard anything, so we decided to check in on them. When we get to the room, we see that there's someone else visiting now. She's a woman who appears to be in her 40s, and she has hair the same sandy brown color as Junichiro's. It must be his mom. She's sitting in a chair at the foot of his bed. Junichiro and Chisa are holding hands and having an animated conversation with the new guest.

"Why didn't you tell me before that you had a girlfriend, Jun-Chan?"

"Um…well…"

I guess that means they reconciled, but Junichiro definitely doesn't want to explain it all. I guess I will try to bail him out.

"Hey Junichiro, how are you feeling?"

His mom turns around and smiles at me, "Ah, he said some other friends were here too. Akari and Kayoko, right?"

We nod in unison.

"Let me get out of the way, so you two have some room."

"Oh. You don't have to do that."

"Nonsense. Jun-chan is probably tired of me visiting with him and his girlfriend anyway. He is very happy to have some non-mom company too. Take your time."

She leaves, and I sit down in the now vacant chair, and Akari unfolds another chair and sits next to me.

He sighs and shakes his head, "It's embarrassing she still calls me Jun-chan. I don't need a reminder that I still look like a kid."

I laugh, "I don't know if it has anything to do with that. My grandma called my dad Hichan his whole life, and she -chans Akari and me too."

He laughs, "That makes me feel a little better."

"Good."

Then, I smile at the newly reunified couple and say, "Sooo?"

Junichiro smiles bigger than I've ever seen, "Sh-she…knows everything now. And still wants to be with me."

She clicks her tongue and kisses him on the cheek, turning him red instantly. "Course I do, silly."

I smile as big as Junichiro, and so does Akari. "Well…that's the best Christmas present there is, I think."

Akari nods, "Y-yeah…that's great. How are you feeling, Junichiro?"

"Emotionally? Amazing, now. Physically? Like crap. I've had lots of surgeries, but most have only had me in the hospital a day or two. This…this is different. I'm exhausted and my lower back hurts like hell. Who knew getting a kidney out was such a big deal?"

Akari frowns, "I did, unfortunately. I only have one too. W-welcome to the club. The one I do have wasn't even originally mine."

He raises his eyebrows. "Oh. Lupus can affect kidneys? That's intense. I guess…I'm not the only one with a condition that messes with your organs."

Akari nods solemnly, "That's true…" Then she quietly adds, "...but mine's under control with medication."

There's silence in the room as we all have somber expressions. I'm sure we're all thinking the same thing.

Why isn't there a medication for Junichiro?

Akari breaks the silence, "A-anyway…your body will adjust to one kidney, but you will feel crappy for a bit."

He nods and smiles at Chisa who smiles back at him, "I don't think I can feel too crappy with the company I have."

I scoff playfully, "You are so obviously not talking about us. Why did we even come?"

He smiles bashfully at us, "I'm glad you came too."

"I know. I'm just teasing. You two just got back together, of course we don't really matter."

Chisa says, "Y'all matter!"

Akari laughs, "Well y-yeah, but not as much as his girlfriend."

She blushes, "Well…I wouldn't be here without ya. Or your parents."

"Speaking of which…we need to get going soon to avoid invoking the wrath of Mrs. Yoshida."

Chisa says, "Oh, I forgot to tell ya. His mom invited me to stay here with him. Told the nurses it was okay."

I smile broadly, "You hear that, Junichiro? She'd rather spend Christmas with you in the hospital than with the two of us and our families in a nice cozy house."

He smiles, "Y-yeah…are you sure you want to do that, Chisa?"

She kisses him on the cheek and repeats what she said earlier, "Course I do, silly."

Akari and I smile at the very cute sight. "Okay, well…we will get going, then. Merry Christmas, you two."

Around noon on Christmas, Shizuka texts me, "Is it really okay for me to come? I don't want to intrude."

I reply, "Yes, everyone is looking forward to it. But, if you aren't comfortable with it, I'll come see you tomorrow, okay?"

I read her next text with her sarcastic tone of voice very much in mind.

"Thanks onee-chan. Always looking out for your little sister. Okay, I'll come around 5."

…

It's almost 5. My mom and I are sitting by the fire in the living room while the Yoshidas are making dinner. I tried to get Akari to take a study break for two hours, like I am. She said she'd be right behind me, but that was 20 minutes ago. If there's such a thing as studying too hard, I'm starting to think Akari might be doing it.

My mom clenches her fists and squeals, "I'm so excited to meet her."

I sigh, "Yes, I know, mom. You look super amped up. Like you're about to go for a run. Can you chill a little? She's kinda shy."

My mom nods just as there's a knock on the door. Despite my warning, she instantly hops to her feet with a huge smile on her face, making me sigh.

"Just wait in here, okay? I'm going to try to ease her into things."

My mom nods, "Fine. I can't sit down though. I'm too excited."

I sigh and head to the front door. When I open it, I find a nervous-looking Shizuka who looks very relieved once she sees I answered the door.

"Merry Christmas! Come on in."

She returns my holiday greeting and we hang up her coat before sharing a hug. I use that opportunity to whisper, "I know I already warned you about my mom, but she's even more excited than I expected. So…get ready."

Shizuka laughs and breaks the hug and says, "Okay."

I guide Shizuka to the living room, where my mom is standing awkwardly by a chair. Before I can get the words out to introduce them my mom smiles ear to ear and says, "Shizuka! Merry Christmas." Then she quickly closes the distance between them and gives her a hug like the two of them have known each other a long time. Shizuka awkwardly hugs her back and gives me a slightly exasperated look. I return it with a look that says, See? That's why I warned you.

My mom breaks the hug and takes a step back. She looks at Shizuka for a moment and then at me. After a moment she says, "Wow. Kayoko told me you looked alike but seeing you two together is really something. You're the reason Kayoko is such a knock-out."

Shizuka smiles, blushes and glances at me. I give her the same look from before.

"Th-thank you, Mrs. Nakai."

My mom scoffs, "Just call me Emi. We're literally family, aren't we?"

Shizuka smiles nervously, "I s-suppose we are."

"Well, come along. Let's take a seat by the fire and get you something warm to drink." My mom leads us to the couch, where Shizuka and I sit while my mom heads to the kitchen to get Shizuka some tea.

After she leaves, Shizuka says, "She is an energetic little thing, isn't she?"

I laugh, "Yes, that's a very good summary of my mom. Although, if you're here long enough you'll see her crash, too. She's the type who goes to bed at 8 and gets up at 4."

Shizuka laughs, "Gross."

My mom returns with Shizuka's tea before taking a seat across from us. Then she says, "I think it's really wonderful you two have gotten to know each other this year. I know Kayoko has really enjoyed it."

Shizuka smiles, "I have too. I understand I have you to thank for that."

"Well, I nudged her in that direction. Akari nudged her even harder."

She laughs, "That's what I hear. Where is Akari? I was hoping to talk with her some. Somehow, we never manage to."

I groan, "She's studying. I think she'll come out of her room soon."

Shizuka laughs, "Well, as a teacher, I can't really fault her for that."

My mom says, "Oh, that's right. Another teacher. Math, right? Where do you teach?"

"Otsuma High School. Not too far from here, actually."

My mom raises her eyebrows and doesn't say anything for several seconds. Shizuka looks at me in confusion.

"Mom? Are you okay?"

She laughs, "I'll be fine. Just a funny coincidence. That's where your father taught, before he came back to Yamaku."

"What?! Seriously?"

My mom nods.

Shizuka, looking surprised, says, "Oh, he taught in Tokyo?"

"Yeah. He and his wife went to university here, then stayed."

"Oh, gotcha. When did he teach at Otsuma?"

"Let's see…" My mom taps her finger on her chin as she thinks. "He did a year of cram school, then four years of university and then it was his first job. So…he must have started around 2013? He came to Yamaku in 2023."

"Obviously…that's before my time. But there are a couple of faculty around who have been there that long. They must have known him. I'll have to ask."

"Wow, that's pretty cool. They probably knew Saki too."

My mom nods and smiles, "Probably."

Shizuka says, "Saki? That was his wife?"

"Yeah. She passed away when…she was younger than you."

Shizuka frowns, "Wow. That's tough."

"Yeah. She's kind of my idol. She's why I got into music. She was a violinist and composer."

Shizuka smiles, "That's cool. Mrs. Nak-...Sorry. Emi, you teach too, right?"

"I do. Or…well, 'coach' is maybe more accurate. I do track club. I think I'm going to retire from physical therapy in a few years…but I don't think I'll be giving up track club any time soon. Teaching people to love what I love so much is hard to give up. The only trimester in the last 35 years where I haven't done it was when we adopted Kayoko."

Shizuka's face gets a little sad and she looks down at her hands and says, "Th-thank you, so much…for adopting her. I was very relieved when I learned you and your husband were such great parents."

My mom starts to sniffle. Seeing the two of them tear up about this is having an effect on me too.

"When Kayoko's father and I met her…it was the best day of my life. The best day of his, too. I…know it was all very hard for you, but I am the one who should be thanking you. You made my daughter."

Shizuka looks up at my mom and the two exchange tearful smiles. After a moment, Shizuka wipes her tears and looks at me with a grin, "A-anyway…we got sidetracked. Your mom and I love teaching. Are you sure you don't want to be a teacher?"

I sigh, "Yes, I'm sure. I finally figured it out! Don't put doubts in my head."

A weary looking Akari shuffles into the living room and plops down next to me on the couch.

"Hi Shizuka." She turns to me "Wh-what are they making you doubt?"

I explain the situation and Akari looks at Shizuka and in a very serious tone she says, "P-Please don't confuse her. She's had a really hard time finding her path and is so happy she figured it out."

Just as I'm about to say it was only a joke, Shizuka says, "I know, I was only teasing. I'm really happy she figured it out too."

My mom smiles ear to ear, "We all are. Her father would be especially over the moon about it."

I smile, "Yep. And who knows, if I get a PhD and everything like I'm thinking, I might teach too. It'll just be a little while."

We chat for a little while longer, until Mrs. Yoshida comes into the living room and says, "Dinner is ready everyone." She locks eyes with Shizuka and has a (for her) unusually large smile on her face when she says, "Hi Shizuka, I'm Akari's mom. It's really nice to meet you."

Shizuka is clearly a little nervous with a new person in the room. "I-it's…really nice to meet you too."

"I don't believe I've ever properly thanked you for getting Kayoko and my daughter here before our trip last summer, so let me do that now."

"You're welcome. I was happy to help."

She REALLY was. I'm tempted to tell everyone how happy she was to be asked to do such a big favor, but I think that's probably supposed to stay between us.

After that, we go to the dining room and enjoy a great holiday meal. In between dinner and dessert, I look around the table at all the happy faces. When I do, Shizuka really doesn't seem out of place. She's smiling and talking with everyone, even the Yoshidas, who seem to be going out of their way to make her feel welcome.

I'm still not comfortable saying I love her, but I think a big part of that is just lingering feelings of guilt about my mom. Even though I know my mom would never be offended.

At the very least, she's become one of my best friends. I'm really looking forward to seeing more of her starting in the Spring when we'll probably be living in the same city.

After dinner, Akari goes back to studying, my mom goes to bed, and the Yoshidas clean up, after refusing help from anyone else. Now Shizuka and I are in the living room alone.

"You know…you really fit in with my family, Shizuka. It didn't feel out of place having you here at all."

She smiles, "It was really great. I was nervous and didn't know what to expect since I was kind of an interloper. I was really glad your mom was so welcoming. Some moms might be a little standoffish about the situation."

I smile, "You know…when she first suggested I try to find you, it gave me a really bad feeling in my stomach. I…didn't like the idea of finding you and connecting with you because I have her. And I was worried I'd hurt her feelings." I laugh, "But yeah, that was silly, as you saw tonight."

"Akari's parents were really sweet too."

"They were, weren't they? You don't know how exceptional that is, but trust me, it's a big deal. They normally aren't the warmest of people. Especially Mrs. Yoshida."

She raises her eyebrows, "Really? You wouldn't have known tonight."

"Nope, you wouldn't. But it didn't surprise me. When I told Mrs. Yoshida your story, it was one of the few times I saw her get really emotional. Akari had a really tough health journey as a little girl. She was in the hospital for a year when she was 4. So, it wasn't hard for her to imagine having to give her up because they couldn't afford to care for her. So, I think they can relate."

"Yeah…that makes sense. I didn't realize Akari had it so rough." She sighs, "Does she…like me?"

"Huh?"

She fidgets with her hands, "I just feel like we never get to talk, and she kind of snapped at me tonight when I was jokingly pressuring you about teaching. Then when you said you wanted to hang out with me in the living room, she couldn't wait to get back to her room. I wonder if…she doesn't think I did the right thing, back when I had you…"

"It isn't that. Every time you see her it's kind of been a bad time. There's when you first met us when she was quiet to let us talk. When you drove us here, she was really sick and mostly unconscious. And tonight, you saw her while she's studying for a test that's a little over a week from now. She's super on edge about everything. She snapped at mymom on the train on our way here, which she's never done before. So…you're not seeing the real Akari."

Shizuka frowns, "It kinda seems like you dodged the question."

I confidently say, "She likes you. A lot, actually."

"She told you that?"

"Yep. But the way I really know she likes you is that when we met Mr. Nakamura, she yelled at him twice because stuff he said about how he treated you pissed her off so much."

Shizuka's eyes light up, "Really?"

I laugh, "Really. I had to reel her in to keep it from happening even more."

Shizuka laughs, "I wish I'd seen that." Shizuka pauses and reaches into her bag and pulls out a small box with red wrapping paper. "Uhm…I didn't want to give you this, in front of everyone. But I got you a little Christmas gift."

"But…I didn't get you anything."

She laughs, "Shut up and open it." She thrusts the small square box at me. I take it in my hands and remove the red wrapping paper. Then I take the top off of the box, revealing two silver earrings shaped like DNA helices.

I smile and look at Shizuka, "I love them. Thank you."

She smiles back, "I know they are a little nerdy, but I saw them the day you told me you had made your choice. I couldn't not get them for you."

I laugh, "Well, lucky for you, I'm a nerd. I'll wear these happily. My dad would approve."

"Good. Just in case, show those to Akari so she knows I approve of your decision too."

I nod and then sigh, "I should probably be getting back to studying now. I've gone over my planned break by about an hour."

There's a flash of disappointment on Shizuka's face, but then she stands up and we walk toward the front door. Once she's done putting her coat on I hug her and say, " Is it okay if we invite you to other family stuff?"

She hugs me a little tighter.

Her voice sounds strained, "O-of course."

"Would you come to my graduation? I know it's a bit of a drive for you, but-"

She breaks the hug and beams at me, "YES…of course I'll come!" Her smile fades. "He…isn't coming, is he?"

"Who?"

She looks down, "Your…birth dad."

"Oh. No. I didn't even consider that. I doubt he would come if I did. And…besides, we aren't close."

She looks back up at me and smiles, "But…we are?"

"Of course we are. I've told you that. You need to stop doubting it. We text every day. We talk about…hard stuff. You came over for Christmas." I shake the box in my hand, "You got me DNA earrings."

She sighs, "I'm sorry, I should be more confident. That's a skill I'm trying to learn."

"Well…keep working on it."

She sighs, "I will, onee-chan." She pauses and then says, "I'm not as confident as I should be. But…I'm so happy, Kayoko. Maybe…maybe the happiest I've ever been since…it happened."

"I'm beyond thrilled to hear that."

She smiles at me, "I think…I'm starting to feel the benefits of that closure you wanted me to get. I don't think about him constantly anymore. And…the fact you want me at your graduation is just…" She trails off and starts to cry softly, so I hug her again.

"I wonder if there is a crybaby gene. I'll have to look into that as a side project."

She laughs and breaks our hug and looks me in my eyes with a soft smile on her face, a few tears streaming down her cheeks, "Over the years…I've thought about all your big life events I was missing. Your first words. Your first steps. Your first day of school. Your first crush. Your first heartbreak. I just…I never let myself believe I would ever be in your life for any big milestones. That's why…that's why it means so much to me that you want me to be there…f-for this one…"

My eyes are no longer dry either so I sniffle a few times before saying, "Well…I don't think this will be the last one. Pretty soon you'll be saying, 'Jeez, she's inviting me to something again?'"

She laughs, "Well, I would be very happy to reach that point." She sighs contentedly. "Alright, I'll let you get back to studying. Merry Christmas, Kayoko."

It's the night before the national exam. I just woke up at 3 a.m. to use the restroom. But something isn't right. Akari isn't in bed with me. This has never happened before. But maybe it's a coincidence and our bladders have synced up. I get out of bed and go to the restroom but don't see any signs of Akari.

On my way back to her room, I see that the light is on in my room. Obviously, I'm not in there. There's only one other person who would be.

I really hope she didn't wake up in a flare. If she did, she may have gone to my room so she wouldn't disturb me. This would be horrible timing.

I knock softly on the door and open it, to find Akari hunched over my desk, studying.

Without looking up or turning towards me, she says, "Yoko, you need to s-sleep."

"Well…you're not wrong. But, so do you."

"I will. I'm coming back to bed soon."

I walk over to the desk and close her notebook, she looks up at me like she wants to yell at me, but before she can I calmly say, "Kari. It's 3 a.m. The exam is in five hours. At this point, sleep is going to do you a whole lot more good than studying is. You've been studying really hard. You're ready. You're gonna do great."

She snaps at me, "Just because y-you feel ready doesn't mean I do. Go back to bed. Let me do what I n-need to do and leave me alone."

I let go of her notebook and she opens it back up and starts to pore over it with a crazed look in her eyes. I stroke her hair, "If you think this is best for you, I'm not going to stop you. But please think hard about whether it is best, okay?"

She sighs and leans back in her chair, "I can't sleep anyway. S-so I may as well study."

"Okay. Too anxious?"

She nods, "A-and I don't want to take anything to help me sleep, because I'm worried it'll affect m-my performance."

"Well…will you come back to bed with me until I fall back asleep? You help me."

She narrows her eyes, crosses her arms, and looks at me without saying anything.

"Okay fine, I am trying to get you to try to fall asleep for a little longer. But I do really like falling asleep with you. So, it was only kind of a lie."

She sighs, "Fine. Some s-snuggles couldn't hurt."

"Nope. Your therapist even recommends them. Sometimes you need prescription-strength Yoko."

Akari smiles and I take her hand and we leave my room and go back to hers. We get into bed into our usual sleeping position. Then I say, "Do you remember the night before the festival our second year?"

"Of course I do. You slept with m-me in my bed for the first time."

I stroke her hair, "Yep. Do you remember how we slept?"

"Y-yeah, with way too many clothes on."

I laugh, "Were you really thinking about that?"

She sighs, "No. I was young and innocent back then. I was just happy you c-came to help me. And happy to be in bed with you."

"I was happy to be in bed with you too. It took me two more days to figure out I was in love with you, but I definitely was. Anyway, do you know why I brought that up?"

"I think so." She lets go of me and rolls over.

I laugh, "Yep. You got it."

I start softly stroking her back the way my dad used to do for me.

"Don't try this for too long. I w-want you to get your sleep. Don't stay up b-because of me."

"I won't. Just…close your eyes and do your best to relax for a little while. I'll stop if it doesn't work."

After maybe 10 minutes, Akari is out cold and breathing rhythmically. I breathe a sigh of relief. I'm not sure I could have gone back to bed knowing she was so worked up. But now that she's breathing like that, I'll sleep just fine.

…

My alarm is going off. Ugh, I really don't want to wake up. I reach out for my phone with the intention of turning it off, but then I remember what today is.

We're taking the national exam. No way I can go back to sleep now that I remembered that.

I reach my arm out and feel Akari's back next to me.

"Mmn…You put me to s-sleep, huh?"

I laugh, "Seems like it."

She rolls over and wraps her arms around me, "Thank you. You s-sweetened my bitterness again."

I wrap my arms around her and kiss her, "Of course. How are you feeling now?"

"I'm…okay. Lots of butterflies. B-but I can do it. What about you?"

I stroke her hair and give her another kiss, "Very antsy." I take a deep breath. "Well…I guess we better get down to it."

Akari and I put on our uniforms and head down to the common room where we wait for Carsten and Ai. We take a seat on a couch and hold hands. The four of us got up a little early so we could eat breakfast before the test.

As we wait, we see other anxious third years making their way out of the building. Some of them look like they were up all night studying, like Akari almost was.

It really sucks that so much is riding on this test for all of us. Even though I feel ready for it, it's hard not to feel the insane pressure. I can physically feel it in my chest.

If Akari and I don't both score high enough, we won't even be able to take the Tokyo exam. Carsten and Ai need to score high enough too if we're all going to stay together.

Akari squeezes my hand, "You okay, Yoko?"

I guess the weight of my thoughts was showing on my face.

I force a smile, "Yeah…just anxious."

Just then, Ai and Carsten step out of the elevator. They look like they are on a funeral march. Of course, my face must look the same. Surprisingly, Akari looks the most relaxed of the four of us. Her anxiety is often anticipatory, now that the moment is upon us, she might be feeling relieved.

Meanwhile, my anxiety is getting worse with each step I take towards the school building. With each step my feet feel heavier.

We HAVE to stay together. I don't want to lose any of these three people. They are so special to me. Like a little family.

And what about Junichiro and Chisa?

And…my…mom…will…be…hours…away…

The weight on my chest from earlier is getting worse. Like the weight of these thoughts is physically crushing me. It's getting hard to breathe.

I let go of Akari's hand and sit down on the nearest bench to catch my breath. I hunch over and clutch my chest, unsure what's happening to me.

Akari, Carsten, and Ai are around me. They're saying something but I can't really hear them. They look worried. I look at each of their faces. I can see how much they care about me.

Everything's going to change. Even if we all get into Tokyo. It's going to be different. We won't see each other as much. I won't be able to see my mom whenever I want…

The weight in my chest keeps getting heavier and heavier.

Akari sits down next to me and wraps her arms around me. She gently pulls me close to her. She says something to Carsten and Ai, and they leave, looking determined. The weight in my chest continues to build. Then it reaches an unbearable level. I start bawling. As soon as I do, I start to feel a little better. The weight in my chest seems to be leaving my chest with each tear I shed.

I can think clearly now.

That was a panic attack. I got close to having one once, but this is my first time really having one.

Akari strokes my hair and says, "Yoko…are you with m-me?"

"Y-yeah…"

She hugs me tight, "Good. Y-you just had a panic attack."

"I know."

"We should get you to the nurse. Carsten and Ai were going to get help."

"B-but…the test."

She pulls away from me and looks in my eyes, "Are you sure you're in a g-good headspace for it?"

I sit up and wipe my tears with a handkerchief that Akari hands me.

"I think so. I feel okay now. I want to try at least. If I freak out, I can go to the nurse. I didn't get upset about the test…not exactly. I'll talk about it later. We probably don't have time now."

Akari puts her hand on my cheek and studies me closely for a moment and then says, "Okay."

I nod, and the two of us stand up. Akari stays glued to me with her arm around my lower back, making sure I'm not unsteady.

I smile at her, "I'm okay, Kari. Thank you for helping me."

She stays glued to me and she looks really worried. This isn't good. We don't have much time and I might have just made it very hard for her to focus on the test. I stop walking and put my hands on her shoulders and look in her eyes.

"I'm really okay. Really really. I know that was really scary. I've been in your shoes a few times. But…I'm feeling okay now. You usually do okay after one of yours passes, right?"

She lets go of me and loosens up.

"You'll talk about it l-later?"

"I will. Once we have time."

She nods and looks significantly more relaxed. She calls Ai and Carsten to tell them everything's okay, and we head to the classroom.

…

After a day of testing, it's finally over. I didn't have any big issues taking the exam, though I did feel more tired and less mentally sharp than usual. I think that panic attack took a lot out of me. I'm sure I did a little worse than I would have otherwise, but it shouldn't be a huge difference. Luckily, we find out tomorrow.

The four of us just finished dinner, during which I promised I would tell everyone what happened to me once we get back to the dorms.

…

The four of us are in Ai's room, having some celebratory tea and melon bread. We all feel reasonably confident we did as well as we needed to. Akari has looked progressively more impatient since dinner. She wants me to talk about this and I do too.

"So…I won't apologize for this morning because I always tell Kari she shouldn't. But…let me just say it sucks that this happened just before a big test. It sucks for all of us."

Ai scoffs, "That's close enough to apologizing, just get to the point." Akari nods aggressively.

I put my hands around my teacup and hold it firmly.

"I started thinking…about how everything's gonna change. Even if we all go to Tokyo, it's gonna be so different. We won't see each other as much. We won't have all our classes together. We won't live in the same dorm. My mom won't be there. I love it here…so much. I don't want it to change." I sigh. "I know it's irrational, but…"

I trail off and look down at my tea, having reached a critical mass of embarrassment for admitting to the childish thoughts I'm having. They sound even worse when I say them out loud. But I can still feel panic rising in my chest when I talk about it all, childish or not. I see my scared reflection in my tea, so I close my eyes shut tight.

I feel Akari hug my side. Not long after that, I feel Ai hugging me from the other side. Then I feel Carsten's hand on mine. I can hear the two girls sniffling. Then, I look up and see something I never thought I'd see -- a tear on Carsten's face.

He says, "We're scared too, Kayoko. Really scared. I mean, we're gonna have a kid in a few months. I don't think we even understand how much our lives are going to change. We're really gonna miss the life we all built here. We're gonna miss things being exactly as they are now. Things will be different. I can't promise you we'll all always be as close as we are now. But I know we'll all always be special to one another. And…I think any time we all get together, it'll feel just a little like these times…and it'll be great."

I smile at Carsten, "You're right…stuff will be different. But…we'll always be there for one another however we can. No matter…how far apart we are."

Ai breaks our hug and continues to cry softly as she says, "T-tell them, Carsten." Then she hugs me again.

Carsten frowns, "Really? You're going to make me do it alone?" Ai grunts in confirmation.

Carsten looks down and wipes away what must have been another tear.

He looks back up with a frown on his face, "Ai and I decided…we're not doing university this year. I'm really sorry, Kayoko. Things are…gonna be more different than you already thought."

Akari looks at me with concern and says, "D-did you have to drop this on us now?"

Carsten sighs, "I think it would be worse to hide it, since we are on the subject." Ai grunts in agreement as she continues to cry into my shoulder.

I reach around her and put my hand on her back. "It's okay. I'm glad you told us. Can I ask why, though? I thought that if you got that scholarship, you were gonna go."

Ai pulls away from me and wipes her tears, "Well…we thought we would. But then we talked about it and decided university on top of everything was too much." She counts on her fingers. "Pregnancy, baby, wedding, university…"

I sigh, "Yeah…when you lay it out like that. Might be nice focusing on the baby and not worrying about university this first year."

Of course, now I have to call Mr. Nakamura and have an incredibly awkward conversation with him, but oh well. I'm sure he'll offer the scholarship again next year.

Ai looks at me, "You're taking this pretty well."

I laugh, "I think…the panic attack, and crying earlier, and talking it all out now has all helped me work through stuff. I'm still sad and scared but…I don't feel like it's the end of the world like I did this morning." I smile at Carsten. "Those tears earlier were because you felt bad, weren't they?"

Ai whips her head around to look at Carsten, "You cried? And I missed it because I was crying? Jeez. Kayoko was the first girl you liked here and now the first girl you show your tears?! I'm jealous."

This makes Akari and I giggle.

Carsten sighs, "Well Ai, you've gotten all of the other firsts. I think you'll be okay."

She crosses her arms, "I dunno if I will. I'm gonna need you to cry again. Now."

"Well, I can't do it on command. I'm not an actor."

As Carsten and Ai continue their silly fight, I do my best to hold back my own tears.

We really don't have that much time left like this. And that's okay. But it's also okay for me to be upset about it.

…

Akari and I just got into bed for the night. I'm tired, but my head is also buzzing with everything that happened today.

Apparently Akari's head is too, because after about a minute of snuggles she says, "I'm so m-mad at them."

"Carsten and Ai?"

She nods.

"What?! Why?"

"Asking Mr. Nakamura to help them was a big deal. And hard for you. And they are just throwing it away. And they didn't even thank you or anything. It's r-rude."

"Well…they don't know the whole story, remember?"

"Yeah…but they think y-you found it for them. They still should have begged forgiveness."

"It's not a big deal, Kari. They're doing what's best for them and what makes them happy. I was willing to talk to Mr. Nakamura for them because I thought that's what would make them happiest. It's fine that it turns out it wasn't. I'm the one who has to have the awkward phone call, and I'm not mad. So why are you?"

She sighs and shifts in bed, "Sorry. I guess I'm just sad there is now a 0% chance the four of us will be in Tokyo in the Spring. And I'm trying to b-blame someone."

"Yeah…It will be tough without them, won't it?"

She quietly says, "Wh-what if…Ai stops texting me?"

They text a zillion times a day even when they see each other.

"Well…once they have this baby, she probably will text you less. But I doubt she'll ever stop."

Akari sighs, "See? I'm f-freaking out about it too."

I stroke her hair, "I know. It makes me feel less childish to know it's scary for all of us." I laugh, "Although whining about my mom is still pretty bad."

Akari giggles, "I'm gonna really miss her too. Knowing she's always here…if w-we need her, is a huge comfort."

"Yeah. It is. We'll have support there too, at least."

"Yeah…but my parents, Daisuke and Kaito, Hana and Koji, Shizuka…n-none of them are as good in those situations as she is."

I laugh, "That's true. We'll just have to put our big girl pants on, I guess. Growing up kinda sucks."

"It r-really does. By the way, I'll…keep an extra close eye on you through all this, like you do for me in high anxiety situations. Falling because of a panic attack would not b-be good."

"Good idea. I hope I don't end up there again but who knows. Also…panic attacks suck. I legitimately thought I was suffocating."

Akari laughs wryly, "Welcome to the horrible, horrible c-club."

"The upside is I got some better perspective on how you feel when you have them. Which…as scary as it was, makes me feel closer to you, in a weird way."

"Yeah. Not something I wanted you to experience, but now that it h-happened, I guess that's a silver lining."

I give her a squeeze, "I would have had one that first morning here in the dorms if it wasn't for you. And I think the one I had today would have been far worse too without you there."

"I'm glad I helped," She's quiet for a second. "The common thing with b-both of those was your mom."

"Huh. You're right. The other one was about being here without her." I sigh, "I really am a mama's girl."

Akari, Carsten, Ai, and I all woke up to good news today. We did well enough to qualify for entrance exams at all of our target schools. Of course, Carsten and Ai won't be taking any entrance exams this year, but they can still do it next year. Although, they may need to do some cram school to stay on top of things.

Unfortunately, there isn't much time to celebrate. Akari and I are both taking three entrance exams in the next two weeks. So, after breakfast, we had to hit the books.

I'm taking a break now. I really need to talk to my mom later about how I'm feeling about things. So, I send her a text.

"Can we meet up and talk later?"

She responds, "Actually, I'm free now. My 4 pm was a no-show and there's no track today."

"Oh. I'm taking a break right now so that works."

"Should I come to you?"

"No, I could use some new scenery after studying all day. I'll come to the medical building."

…

I'm with my mom in her office. Not a place I have been to a whole lot since becoming a student. I spent more time here when I was younger.

She has the picture of Akari and I exchanging promise rings in New York on her desk, which makes me smile.

When I came in, I moved the rolling chair that is normally across from her desk around to her side of the desk, so that I'm sitting almost on top of her. This made my mom laugh.

"So, everything okay? You don't normally make a point of meeting me here. You did do well on your exam like you told me, right?"

"I did well, though a little worse than expected. But well enough for entrance exams."

"Okay. So out with it. You're scaring me a little. Especially moving the chair like that."

I sigh, "I had a panic attack yesterday. I was thinking about how everything is going to change. And…the part that upsets me the most is…thinking about how you won't be there when I go to university." I put my hand on my chest, "Just…thinking about that makes my chest feel tight."

My mom looks equal parts sad and happy, "That's…nice to hear, in a way." She frowns, "But…not the panic attack part."

I sigh, "Luckily I had a pro taking care of me and recovered in time to take the test."

My mom nods, "Good ol' Akari."

"I feel…childish and silly for feeling this way. But I just…I really love you mom. I've been spoiled to have you with me every step of the way so far. It's scary that that has to change."

She takes my hand, "It will be hard for me too, not being nearby and seeing you all the time. We'll both be struggling. But…I know we can do it. It'll be good for you to be on your own."

I look down at our hands, embarrassed how clingy I feel. But not too embarrassed to say what I'm feeling. "We're…still gonna talk lots, right? Kari will make fun of me…but I need to talk to you every day. At least once. Maybe twice."

My mom laughs, "Of course, sweetie. It makes me happy that we're so close. That won't change just because you're a few hours away. And…if you really need me, I can always hop on a train."

"I'm ashamed I feel this way but…also grateful that you're so great that I do feel this way."

My mom gets up and hugs me, holding my head to her chest and stroking my hair, "I feel the same about you, sweetie. Watching you grow every step of the way these last 18 years has been incredible. Now you're a grown woman. You're brilliant and beautiful and compassionate and just…everything anyone could want in a child. I'm so proud. I know your father would be too. So…I've been spoiled too. It's gonna be hard to let go, but I know you'll go out there and be just as amazing as you have been here."

I sniffle, "Thanks, mom. I am excited about it all too. I need to focus on that if I'm gonna make it."

My mom laughs and sits back down, "Good idea."

I sigh, "Well…back to the books for me. Thank you."

We share a hug, "Of course, sweetie. Any time."

As I get up to leave her office, I stop at the door and turn around to look at her. "I'm probably gonna be a little clingy with you the next few months. So…fair warning."

My mom laughs, "Okay. I'll be prepared."

Akari and I are in my room closely watching the screen of her laptop. We find out today whether we passed our Tokyo entrance exam.

We already know we got into our other schools, so Akari and I living together in Tokyo next year is assured. However, Tokyo is the number one target for both of us and it would also be preferable for us to go to the same school. We both feel we did well, but we won't really know until they post the results.

Just like last year when Hana and Koji were waiting for their results, our friends are with us and just as anxious as we are. Akari and I are at my desk with a fidgeting Ai parked next to us. Junichiro and Chisa are on the bed looking anxiously towards the laptop, and Carsten is pacing behind us and looking at the screen every so often.

The results were supposed to go up 30 minutes ago, and the mood in the room has ratcheted up since then and I'm starting to feel bad. Everyone looks stressed.

"Guys, you don't have to keep staying here. We'll text when we get the results, and you can come back and celebrate or commiserate with us."

Chisa replies, "But…we wanna be with ya'll, when ya find out."

Junichiro nods in agreement. He got back from the hospital about two weeks ago, but he is still having a hard time. He's really fatigued, which Akari says will probably last a while until his body gets used to having one kidney. While he hasn't admitted to being in pain too, his rigid facial expression tells me he's in pain but trying to hide it. I've seen that face on Akari and myself enough to recognize it. I don't know if it's from this recent surgery, or if he's got scar tissue or tumors somewhere else causing him problems. I try not to worry too much about him and let him take care of himself, but it's hard. He has really become like a little brother to me.

"Okay. But…Junichiro, you can lay down on the bed."

He looks at the bed and then at me and Akari. For a moment I think he's going to fight me on this, but he sighs and lays down on his side and rests his head in Chisa's lap. She puts her hand on his head and smiles down at him. He smiles back. It's a sight so sweet that it temporarily makes me forget I'm incredibly antsy right now.

I turn to Ai, "And how are you feeling?"

She's continued having issues with nausea during her pregnancy, even now that she's past the time when morning sickness is common. She hasn't had much of an appetite, and she's so tiny already that I'm starting to worry.

She scoffs, "Kayoko, stop trying to take care of everyone. We're here to support you and Akari. I'm fine. Keep refreshing that damn web page and shut up."

I look to Carsten for some help, but he only gives me a shrug.

My phone and Akari's buzz in unison. Akari gets hers out first and groans before relating,

"I-it's an email. Due to some technical issues, we won't get our scores t-today. We should get them by noon tomorrow."

I sigh, "Great. What the hell are we supposed to do until then? There's no way I can keep my mind off of this."

Akari looks around the room and gets small nods from everyone. Then she says, "Triple date? We haven't done one of those with Junichiro and Chisa. Might be our l-last chance."

If we both get into Tokyo, we are going there with my mom next week for an orientation and to look at apartments. Two weeks after that is graduation and at that point Junichiro and Chisa will be worried about their own tests.

"That would be nice…but we can't really do that at the last minute. And I'm not sure everyone is up to it."

Ai mischievously says, "Well…you're right. I don't really wanna go anywhere."

In a similar tone of voice, Junichiro says, "Me neither."

I look at Carsten in search of answers and find that he is giving me a knowing smile.

I narrow my eyes and look at all of my friends in succession and then at my girlfriend who I see now is texting someone with a smile on her face.

"Um…what's going on? You're all being weird."

Akari laughs and puts her phone away, "Let's go have some tea in Ai's r-room."

All my friends agree to this enthusiastically. A little too enthusiastically.

I grumble, "Everyone knows what's going on except for me."

This seems like some sort of surprise party. But it's not my birthday. It's more than a month away.

Ai giggles, "Does that mean you are accepting the invitation to my room?"

I sigh, "Yeah. Let's go."

The six of us leave my room and get on the elevator together. We go down a floor to Ai's room.

When we get there, Ai knocks on the door, which puzzles me for a moment. Then the door opens, and I see my mother's mischievous smile.

"Hello everyone. I'm sorry to hear the grades aren't being punctual. But…we can still have a good time anyway."

She opens the door the rest of the way and steps aside. My friends all insist I go in first. When I do I see that there are two card tables set up with a nice tablecloth draped over them and the tables are set for dinner for 7. While the food is covered, the delicious scents of my mom's cooking are permeating the air. Where Ai's desk should be, there's a karaoke machine hooked up to a projector.

Overcome with emotion from realizing what my friends and my mom have done for me, I burst into tears.

I know they are doing this for themselves as well as for me, but they wanted to surprise me with it since I'm having the hardest time about things changing.

Ai says "Aw, man! Akari, you win. She started crying in under 10 seconds." Akari giggles proudly and collects 100 yen coins from everyone.

I do my best to stop crying. Then I cross my arms and pout at them, "You're all betting on whether I cry?"

Chisa laughs, "No. We're bettin' on how long it took. We all knew you'd cry. I thought it would take a minute, though. Makes sense Akari got it right, though."

Akari laughs and pulls me down for a kiss and then says, "This was supposed to f-for after we got our results. But…we decided to do it even though we didn't get them."

Junichiro frowns, "We…wanted to surprise you with a real triple date. But…I still don't feel well enough."

Ai scoffs, "It's not just you. I didn't really wanna go anywhere either. Now, we don't even have to leave my room!"

I laugh, "Well…I think this is better, anyway. We get to stay at Yamaku." I walk up to my mom and hug her tight, "And my mom's here!"

In a strained voice my mom says, "Too…tight." I let her go, feeling embarrassed.

My mom exhales in relief, "Phew…when you said you were feeling clingy you meant it literally, huh?"

I laugh, "I guess so."

My mom replies, "I'm only staying to eat with you all. Can't really be a triple date with me here, after all."

I shake my head. "You can stay."

My mom sighs, "I know you wanna see me, but I'm going on a trip with you next week. Tonight, you should spend time alone with your friends."

Ai forces a cough during which she very clearly says, "Mama's girl." I glare at her playfully, unable to really deny her accusation.

I sigh and say, "Okay, fine."

Akari laughs, "Sounds like w-we're only a consolation prize."

"I didn't mean that. I'm excited even without my mom."

Carsten laughs, "That's good. We all are too. But…enough talking. I can't keep smelling this food and not eating it."

We all finally sit down to find my mom's usual spread of delicious Asian dishes.

As we do Ai says, "I even have an appetite from the smell. You're a miracle worker, Emi."

My mom frowns at Ai, "Well…I don't blame you for not having an appetite for cafeteria food. If my cooking will get you to eat…I'd be happy to help."

Ai takes a bite and smiles, "Yeah…I feel bad but…might have to take you up on that. Did you have problems with your appetite?"

My mom is so confused by Ai's question that she actually puts her chopsticks down when the food is halfway to her mouth. I've never seen my mom intentionally delay putting food in her mouth. Then she smiles and says, "Well…I've never been pregnant, Ai."

Ai slaps herself in the forehead, "Duh. I blame pregnancy brain."

I laugh, "I forget sometimes too. Do you ever wish you had been?"

My mom tilts her head at me for a moment, but then says, "Back when your dad told me he couldn't have kids, I did have to think about it for a minute, because I had imagined being pregnant someday. But…in the end I decided as long as we could adopt, I didn't care." She smiles and puts a hand on Ai's shoulder, "I am glad we went that route in the end. Pregnancy seems tough."

Ai sighs, "It is. And I'm not even that far along. But…there are some really nice things about it. It feels…nice, knowing there is a little life growing inside of me. It's a feeling that's…hard to explain."

I put my hand on Akari's shoulder, "It sounds like there are pros and cons. We won't ever be pregnant either, like my mom."

Akari gets flustered and chokes a little on her food.

I laugh, "Sorry, Kari."

My mom smiles mischievously at Akari, "Talk of you two having kids one day freaks you out, huh?"

Akari glares at me. I apologize with my eyes. Giving my mom that ammunition is really bad. I'll have to talk to her about it separately to keep her from using it too much.

Meanwhile, I notice that Junichiro and Chisa look very uncomfortable with the topic as they quietly focus on their food.

I did not do a good job taking my friend's feelings into account when steering the conversation in this direction. I need to do something about that.

Luckily, mom bails me out.

She stands up and says, "Well…I'm gonna go get back to Kayoko's grandparents. You all have fun."

I stand up and say "Okay…thanks, mom. I love you."

She winces and takes a few steps towards the door as if trying to make an escape, "You're not going to trap me in a bear hug again, are you?"

I approach her and hug her normally, "No."

When we finish hugging, I'm surprised to see that Junichiro and Chisa are standing nearby and waiting to talk to my mom. Junichiro looks nervous.

Chisa smiles and gives him a little nudge on the shoulder and says, "Just ask her."

He takes a step forward and looks from Chisa back to my mom and blushes, "C-could I…sculpt you, Mrs. Nakai?"

My mom smiles ear to ear, "Sure. But if we're going to be that intimate, you should just call me Emi."

Junichiro turns even redder and looks down at the ground, "Um…o-okay, Emi. Thank you. You know about my project?"

She nods, "Kayoko told me. And I went to see the sculpture myself. It's beautiful, and I'm flattered you want me to be part of the series too. Would it just be my legs?"

"I think so. Your legs and the track. I haven't worked it all out. I wanted to see you running and figure it out from there."

"Okay. That should be easy to arrange since I do it every day. You know, this wouldn't be the first time I modeled for an artist."

Junichiro looks up and says, "Really?"

"Really. Although it has been a while. My best friend during my student days was Rin Tezuk-"

"SERIOUSLY?!"

My mom jumps and the rest of us all are all startled by the force of the voice, so we all turn to its source – Chisa. She looks like she just got word that she won the lottery.

"I-I'm sorry. I just…she's the best painter who ever went here and I got excited. She's…an icon. An' she was your best friend? An' she painted you!?"

My mom laughs, "That's right."

Chisa darts closer to my mom with speed my mother probably respects and says, "A-are you…still friends?"

My mom chuckles, "Kind of. We stay in touch a bit."

I've only met her three times that I remember, and the last time was shortly after my dad passed away. I was a little angry she wasn't a more supportive friend to my mom at the time.

"Wow. It would be cool to meet her."

Junichiro adds, "It would be cool to sculpt her."

My mom winces, "She had a sculptor boyfriend who broke her heart once. Not sure she will take kindly to that. But…I'll let you know if I can set up a meeting or something."

My mom hugs everyone and then leaves.

Then Ai grins and says, "Sooooo, Chisa – how's it feels knowing your boyfriend wants to sculpt all these other women?"

Junichiro turns bright red and Chisa laughs, "It doesn't bother me. It isn't like he's sculptin' them in the nude."

"Huh. I thought you art people would be okay with that. Isn't that pretty common?"

"Don't get me wrong – if he wanted to do a nude sculpture for a specific reason it wouldn't bother me. But if he were only askin' women and havin' them all in the nude for this 'Perseverance' series of sculptures, that would be another thing."

Junichiro sighs, "Stop talking like I'm not here."

She laughs and pats him on the head before kissing him, causing him to turn red again. "Sorry, Juni."

Carsten clears his throat, clearly attempting to rescue Junichiro from his girlfriend-induced embarrassment, something he knows all too well. "Do we want to do karaoke? We only got the okay from the dormkeeper for until 8."

Akari replies, "Y-yeah…just don't let Ai near the microphone."

Ai pouts, "Heyyy, I was gonna pretend I think I'm good. Junichiro and Chisa don't know that bit."

I look at our younger friends, "Trust me, you aren't missing out."

Chisa laughs, "She's that bad?"

Carsten chuckles, "Yep. The joke is funny in a cringey way, but for those of us who already experienced Ai's singing…we never want to experience it again."

After that, we did karaoke for about an hour. Akari and I did the Bloom into You theme song again, Carsten and Akari did some anime theme songs, and Chisa did a few western pop songs. Junichiro never sang, making me worry a little more about him. Just as I'm about to ask if he wants to talk alone he says, "I'm sorry…I'm really tired. I think I need to go."

I walk up to him and hug him, "Hey…don't be sorry. You have to do what's best for you. We had a really fun night and it means the world to me you did all this when you feel like crap."

"Yeah…I just wish I didn't feel like this."

Everyone says their goodbyes and then I walk Junichiro and Chisa out to the hall where I quietly ask him, "Are you in pain?"

He frowns, "I hate you, senpai."

I laugh wryly, remembering having a similar reaction to Akari and my mom noticing I was in pain when I didn't want them to.

Chisa frowns, "So…you are?"

He sighs and puts his hand on his lower left side, "Yes. I think I have some adhesions from an old abdominal surgery. I've had them before, and it feels the same. It hurts any time I bend at all there. It started this morning."

Chisa looks upset, "Why didn't you tell me?"

He looks at her guiltily. "I was going to, once we got to my room. I didn't want to ruin stuff for you while we were here having a nice time. I didn't want Kayoko to know either until later." He looks at me, "How did you know?"

"Akari and I have chronic pain that we try to hide too. I saw the signs on your face."

He nods, "I'll go to the doctor and schedule another stupid surgery once the trimester is over. It isn't dangerous, just painful."

"Okay…well, don't overdo it, okay?"

He nods as they start walking down the hall and says, "Let us know when you two get your scores."

…

Akari and I are in bed after our little triple date.

"That was all really great. Thank you."

"Wh-why are you thanking me?"

"Oh come on, you were the mastermind, weren't you?"

She laughs, "Y-yeah. Mostly. Me and your mom, anyway. Did it get your mind off of Tokyo?"

I sigh, "It did while we were in Ai's room. I'm really antsy again now. Not sure how well I can sleep. How are you so relaxed?"

"Well…I'm nervous too. But, the big stuff is already sorted out. We'll live together So…I feel okay."

"Yeah but…if we don't both get into Tokyo, finding a place to live that's close enough to both our schools is going to be harder. And we won't be able to meet on campus for lunch, or go to school together, or meet each other's friends as easily, or live as close to your parents, or-"

Akari puts her mouth on mine mid-sentence. I'm annoyed at first and almost pull away, but then I realize what she's doing. I close my eyes and kiss her back with my arms around her.

She breaks the kiss and smiles at me, "Sorry…you were really getting worked up. Plus, I w-wanted to kiss you."

"Well…it was a nice kiss. You're not anxious about any of that, huh?"

"I am. B-but…right now I can't really see past going to orientation wherever I go. That's a big enough hurdle for me."

I squeeze her, "Yeah…that's gonna be kind of intense. Even if it's not Tokyo, I'll go with you to help you adjust."

She smiles, "Okay. So, yeah…let's keep our minds off all that stuff for now."

"I wish I could. I'm trying."

Her hands start to wander. One of them slides under my shirt and stops just below my left breast, and the other one moves down my right thigh. I gasp from her unexpected caresses.

Akari giggles in response and says, "I think…I f-found a way for us to keep it off our minds. At least for a little while."

I grab a hold of her hand on my thigh and guide it under my panties so she's touching me directly. She gets the hint and moves her other hand so she is directly caressing my breast.

In between pleasured sighs I say, "I think…we can distract…each other for longer…than 'a little while,' don't you? I'm…gonna need you to really tire me…out."

"Oh yeah? Well…I think I c-can arrange that. Will you sit up for me?"

I nod and do as she asks. Then, she takes off my top and then hers before she moves behind me and gets on her knees. She hugs me close from behind, and I enjoy the sensation of feeling her soft breasts and smooth skin on my back. She starts caressing both of my breasts, before one of her hands makes a slow journey down my stomach which is already experiencing spasms from anticipation. When her hand gets close to its destination, I carefully spread my legs for her, and she reaches into my panties. As she begins to caress my vulva, I notice she is grinding her upper body against mine and moaning softly from the stimulation of her nipples.

She starts kissing my nape as her hands continue to provide my body with the incredible pleasure it desires from her. I'm a little disappointed that I can't really do anything for her while we're in this position, but other than that it's heavenly, and right now I just want to lose myself in being the object of her affection. Clearly, that's what she wants too. She's taking things really slow, and it almost feels like she's worshiping the most sensitive parts of my body. It's hard not to lose myself in it.

She continues to kiss my neck and shoulders as she gently slides a finger inside of me, rubbing it against my most sensitive internal spots. Before long, she adds a second finger. She gradually increases the force and speed of her fingers, causing my legs, hips, and abdomen to have involuntary contractions. I lean back into her, unable to remain sitting on my own. But she buttresses my body with hers, allowing us to stay in the same position. A minute later, my body is writhing with pleasure. As my moans start to get a little too loud, Akari puts her hand over my mouth. It's a good thing too, because shortly thereafter I find myself in the throes of multiple orgasms for several minutes as Akari doesn't stop stimulating me. Eventually, my body's had all the pleasure it can. After being tense for such a long time I feel both my mind and body relax. I fall back on Akari, and she puts her arms around me.

"...Yoko, time to get up."

Akari is lightly patting me on my shoulder, but I don't really feel like getting up. I'm extra cozy and warm for some reason. Even my back feels warm.

"Nooo…want to sleep."

"Okay, but I just g-got the email from Tokyo that our scores are posted."

I open my eyes wide and sit up. I see that I was basically on top of Akari. I'm naked and she's topless. Only now do I remember how we ended up in that position.

Wow. She really did tire me out. I was half-joking when I said that but clearly, she took it to heart. I never even did anything for her.

I smile bashfully, "Sorry for falling asleep on you. Literally and figuratively."

She laughs, "It's okay. I liked it. It was what I was g-going for."

She gets up and turns on her laptop which is sitting on her desk. I stand up and look from behind her.

"Who should go f-first?"

I sigh, "I dunno. It kinda sucks either way that we have to wait between finding out the scores. You go first."

She nods and logs into her account. Her test score page loads and we both breathe a sigh of relief when we see her score.

"I p-passed by 1%. I was almost like Hana."

I laugh and pat her on the head, "Yeah that's really great! But now it's time to see if it's even better. So, move!"

Akari laughs at my impatience, and we trade places. I log into my account, as I'm about to click on "Examination Scores" I can feel my heart beating very fast. I'm even a little dizzy.

If I didn't get in, I don't know what I'm going to do…

I take a deep breath and click.

Once it loads, Akari and I breathe another sigh of relief. Akari's is combined with a scoff. She hugs me from behind and says, "You were 3% off a perfect score and you were that w-worried?"

I am beyond elated, and that feeling comes out in the form of hysterical laughter and happy tears. It proves contagious, as Akari starts laughing and crying too. We get back in bed and hold one another.

We're both going to Tokyo next year. I'm so glad all our hard work has paid off. I'm still sad about leaving my mom and all our friends…but I'm so happy about me and Akari right now that I can barely feel it.

I'm in my room packing for our trip to Tokyo. We leave tomorrow. We'll be looking at apartments for a couple days, and then going to new student orientation at the university.

I just realized that I really don't have very much time left in this dorm room. Graduation is in 14 days and we're going to be gone for a week. That means there's only 7 days left here. It won't be long before I'm packing up everything.

I'm very thankful for this little room. I sit down on my bed and start to think about my early days living here.

I was so excited to be living across from my best friend. Little did I know she would turn out to be the love of my life.

If it weren't for this room, our feelings may never have developed how they did. We were friends before I lived here of course, but living here brought us so much closer. We became inseparable. She was the first and last person I saw almost every day. We helped one other through hard times with boys and our health and had lots of good times together too.

She started to feel something for me when I fell in the shower my first morning here. Then, I started to feel something for her several months later when I fell in the same shower. I confessed to her in this very room. And we shared our first kiss.

If I hadn't fallen in the shower, we might not have fallen in love.

I laugh at my stupid word play and then hear a knock on the door, "It's Chisa."

"Come in."

Chisa opens the door and frowns a little when she sees me. "You okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, why?"

Chisa laughs, "You just have a couple tears on your cheek, but that's the norm for ya, I guess."

I sigh and wipe away my tears, "I guess it is, because I didn't even know I cried. I was reminiscing about my room. I'm going to miss it. Anyway, what's up?"

She sits down next to me, "Well, it's kind of about that. I'm worried about ya leavin', and just wanted to talk about it, I guess."

"Worried? Not just sad?"

She shakes her head, "I am sad, I'm gonna miss ya. But I'm worried because you're just…so much better with Juni. You know when he's hurtin' and all that. You take care of him so well. I'm not as good."

"Oh. Well, I have a lot of advantages. I've known him longer, have my own chronic pain, and I'm two years older. You'll catch up."

"I hope so. Makes me feel…inadequate I guess, when ya notice stuff that I don't."

I put my hand on her shoulder, "You really shouldn't feel that way."

She looks unconvinced.

"Look, you think I know best about how to take care of him, right?"

She nods.

"Well, it's because he's like a little brother to me and I really love him. And you know what? I think you're great for him. And if you think I know him so well, you'll just have to go along with what I say."

Chisa laughs, "Okay. Thank you. Do ya think…we could do a little trial run? Like, after ya get back, try not to take care of him so much when you're around and see how I do."

I nod, "That sounds like a plan. To be honest, he thinks I mother him too much anyway. So, you probably shouldn't follow my example exactly, do it your own way. For you two it's romantic love, after all. You don't want to be an annoyingly over attentive big sister like me."

She still has some uncertainty on her face when she says, "Yeah, I'll do it my way. When I figure it out."

I take her hand and smile at her, "Chisa – you love him so much that you're willing to walk with him on a very challenging path. That's the number one most important thing. The rest will come with time and experience."

She smiles at me, "You're right." She hugs me gently. "Thanks, Kayoko. You're pretty good at takin' care of me, too."

I laugh, "Glad to hear it."

Chisa stands up and with a grin she says, "Well, I'll let you get back to cryin' about your dorm room, or whatever."

"This one is…definitely the smallest of the three we've looked at."

Mrs. Yoshida responds, "True, but it is also the newest and has the best location."

Akari and I are looking at an apartment with our moms. The first two we saw today failed to impress. One of them was spacious but practically falling apart, and the other was nice enough, but the building has an elevator that is beyond sketchy, and that's a big problem for me on a daily basis, and for Akari during a flare.

This apartment is on the ground floor, and we would be the first to live in this brand-new building that was built close to the university with students in mind. There's also security staff, and it's very close to a hospital, which has our mothers particularly enamored with it. But the dimensions leave something to be desired.

It's a studio apartment, so it's really one big room. We'll, no - not 'big,' but it is a room. It's also furnished, which is a big positive.

I sigh, "That's…a tiny bath."

Akari says, "Yeah, but…at least there is one. And it's brand new."

The bathroom has a shower, with a small bath basin right next to it. There's not enough room for any space between them.

"I don't think I would fit. So, it may as well not exist."

"Do you want to try?"

I sigh again, "I guess so. Will you help me?"

I put down my bag and Akari takes my hand and helps me slowly lower myself into the bath. I sit down and I'm surprised to see that I can extend my legs all the way. Just barely.

Akari smiles and crouches next to me, "See? You fit."

"Yeah, if I sit. And the water would only be up to my ribs. I'll still have to shower to wash my hair and upper body."

Akari sighs and looks dejected, "Yeah, okay. You're r-right. We could get you a stool for the shower or s-something but yeah, I know a b-bath is better for you."

She stands up again and gets a smile on her face as she examines the shower, "Oh, this is a detachable head, and it has a really long hose. So, you could easily use it in the bath. It has l-like 20 settings too." She removes it and hands it to me.

I feel my cheeks flush and I whisper, "Don't mention that, our moms are like two feet away."

Akari laughs, "And you s-say I'm the perverted one. I didn't mean for that. With that, you could wash your hair and s-stuff and still not have to stand. So, this bathroom would be safer than at Yamaku."

I smile, "You're sweet for thinking of how to make this work for your fragile girlfriend. I'm glad you aren't letting my pessimism bring you down. You're right. It would be doable with this." I whisper, "And so would the other thing."

Akari giggles and then helps me up, and we leave the bathroom. We look around the apartment some more. I like the look of the living area, small dining area, and the 'bedroom' part of the apartment. It is a cozy space. But…

"I don't know about this kitchen. I guess 'kitchenette' is probably more accurate."

The kitchen has a stove, but it only has one burner. There's also no oven and basically no counter space. If I outstretch both of my arms, it exceeds the total area of the kitchen.

My mom laughs, "My university apartment had even less." She fiddles with the stove, "You'd be surprised what you can make with this. That's when I really learned how to stir fry. Most of the meals I make only need one burner."

"Okay. Good point. No oven is a bummer, but I guess I wasn't planning on becoming a baker. Akari and I will be happy with stir fry." I look around, expecting to see my girlfriend behind me, but she isn't there. "Speaking of, where is she? I didn't think it was possible to hide in this place."

Mrs. Yoshida points to the far side of the apartment where there's an open glass sliding door, "She went outside. There's a little yard."

Just then, I hear, "Yoko! Come out here!"

Akari sounds maybe the most excited I've ever heard her. What could possibly be so exciting about a tiny yard?

I walk through the open sliding door and join her outside. She's looking at me expectantly with a huge grin on her face, but I don't see anything that special. There's a small patio with cheap outdoor furniture, a small patch of grass, and a couple of bushes. It would be nice enough to eat or read out here, but I'm confused by her excitement.

"What am I supposed to be seeing out here? It's pretty nice, but…"

Akari walks up to one of the bushes that are planted in a flower bed next to the fence.

"You don't recognize this?"

I look at her and then at the bush and then back at her.

"No, sorry."

Akari sighs in disappointment, "These are hydrangea bushes. Both of them."

"Seriously!?"

She laughs, "Yeah. I've read Bloom Into You enough to recognize them even without f-flowers. They will have the huge flowers in a couple months."

I smile and hug her tight, "Okay now, your excitement makes sense. It would be amazing to have meals out here with the hydrangeas."

She pulls me down for a kiss and then smiles up at me and says, "Yoko, I think this is our home."

"Really? I mean, there are pros for sure. It's a ground floor apartment, the security is nice, it's pretty new, and the location is great. But it's so small. The kitchen and bathroom will barely be able to do what we need them to."

She scoffs, "Barely means they can do it. It's a little bigger than both our dorms put together. We d-don't need that much more space, do we?"

"Hmmm…just to be clear, you like this place apart from the hydrangeas, right?"

She laughs, "Yes. I already l-liked it. But this sealed it for me. I think w-we will like it here." She smiles at me, "I want this to be our first home t-together, Yoko."

How can I say no to her when she's smiling at me like THAT? Plus, she's right. It's a nice place. It will work for us even if it is tiny. It isn't like we'll live here forever. It will be a nice first home for us.

I smile back at her, "Okay. You convinced me. Let's do it. Let's live here."

Akari pulls me down for a longer kiss this time and then I hear applause. We break the kiss and see our mothers standing just inside the apartment. My mom is beaming, and Mrs. Yoshida is smiling softly.

I sigh, "How much of that did you watch?"

My mom laughs, "Almost all of it. Chiaki was going to go out there with you, but I told her it would be more fun to watch."

Mrs. Yoshida laughs, "She was right. So, you two are sure about this?"

"Y-yeah, if you two are. We aren't the ones paying."

"It sounds good to me. It will be nice knowing you are only a few minutes away. What do you think, Emi?"

My mom nods, "This place is within the budget we talked about, so it's no problem. Let's go sign the lease!"

Before my mom can escape, I wrap her in a hug, "Thank you, mom." Akari mimics me with her mother, who I have to admit has gotten more comfortable with hugs. I guess that's a result of having my mom as a friend and me as her future daughter-in-law.

My mom asks, "So, what's the schedule like tomorrow?"

We're at the Yoshida household in the living room, trying to figure out the logistics for the orientation. We all have a busy day tomorrow.

I reply, "Well, there's the general orientation events tomorrow. For that, Kari and I will be together." I take Akari's hand and smile at her. She smiles back. She's very anxious about all this. Truthfully, I am too. But I know it's only a small percentage of how she feels.

Akari quietly says, "Th-then Friday will b-be our f-faculty-specific orientation."

My mom smiles at my very anxious girlfriend and says, "Right, and I'm going with you that day, right?"

Akari smiles, "Y-yes please."

Mrs. Yoshida says, "Thank you so much for that, Emi."

"Of course. I'm excited to pretend to be a college student again."

I scoff, "How are you going to do that, exactly?"

She pouts, "You don't think I could pass?"

I laugh, "Mom, you look like you're in your late 30s. And you're in your 60s, so that's pretty great. But 18? You're pushing it."

My mom sighs, "Fine. I could still be a non-traditional student, though. I could be everyone's favorite senpai. I'll join the track team."

I groan and Akari giggles, "Why do you want to p-play a role?"

My mom laughs, "I don't. I just know I'm annoying Kayoko. It's fun."

I sigh and cross my arms, "My mother, ladies and gentlemen."

I'm teasing her, but I'm beyond thankful my mom is going with Akari. Akari's parents will be doing their own orientation stuff that day, and since I'm in science and Akari's in music, we won't be together either. My mom's presence will really help her.

She'll have to introduce herself and talk to other students in the program. She's gotten less anxious over the last three years, but this is still hard for her.

Without my mom, It would have been hard for me to leave her since I know it's going to be so hard. I'm still a little worried, but it's a lot less.

"Okay, I get that I'm going on Friday, but are you sure you want me there tomorrow too? You'll be together and you don't need some lady in her 30s weighing you down."

Mrs. Yoshida gives me a serious look. A little too serious. Luckily my mom didn't see it.

"Well, you know how clingy I am with you right now. It would be nice for you to come with us. I pout, "But, If you don't want to spend time with your daughter who is moving away in a week and a half…"

I'm usually awful at lying, but I'm mostly telling the truth, so I think I pulled it off. I really do want to spend as much time with her as I can. But there is another reason we all want her to go too.

My mom sighs, "No, I'll come if that's what you want."

Once activities are done for the day, we're going to dinner in the faculty club with Mrs. Yoshida and a certain athletic Old English professor has also been invited. My mom doesn't know about this, and I feel a little guilty. But I just want them to meet. Maybe something will grow from it down the line and maybe not. But they are certainly compatible in many ways. It would be a shame if we didn't get them to meet when we have such a good opportunity.

Akari, my mom, and I are in a 500-person lecture hall at the University of Tokyo waiting for orientation to start. The seats are about 80 percent full. My mom and I are seated on either side of Akari, and she seems to be doing okay.

"I'm going to run to the restroom, girls. I'll be back in time."

We nod to my mother, and she leaves. Now, with one of her defensive walls gone, Akari is fidgeting in her seat.

I whisper, "You okay, Kari?"

She nods and stammers with wide eyes, "J-j-just…so many p-people."

"I know, but it makes you kind of anonymous, right? No one's gonna make you talk in front of everyone or anything. In fact, you may not need to talk to anyone. Everyone's keeping to themselves."

Just as Akari seems a little more relaxed, I hear someone very loudly say, "Oh my gosh, I LOVE your headband. Where did you get it?"

I should have knocked on wood, apparently.

A girl three seats over from Akari is smiling ear to ear and looking at Akari. She's wearing a purple headband over her very short blonde hair.

I look at Akari and see panic on her face, which has been drained of all color. She's frozen solid. She hasn't even looked towards the voice. It's like she's afraid to turn and acknowledge the girl, and maybe if she doesn't, she'll leave us alone.

I take Akari's hand and give it a squeeze but get no response as she remains frozen. She isn't hyperventilating, but she's unable to respond right now.

Purple headband girl is still looking our way expectantly.

I smile at the loud girl, "Um…I got it for her. It's from a store in Sendai. The brand is…Leah Sadoughi, or something like that."

The girl takes in what I just said and then her eyes drift to our hands. Her smile gets bigger, and she moves into the chair next to Akari, where my mom was sitting.

Shit. Should I just not have responded? Maybe Akari had the right idea.

"You two are together!? That's so cool! I'm gay too! I'm the only one at my school. Of course, we only have like 10 students. Everyone told me I'd meet more people like me at university, and I'm already doing it at the orientation! This is the best day EVER! Can I get your numbers?"

Is she just…not noticing how uncomfortable Akari is, or does she not care? Maybe she's too amped up to notice?

Luckily, people around us seem to be tuning us out, or it would be even worse.

I give Akari's hand another squeeze, this time she blinks and some color returns to her face, and she gives me a small smile before turning toward the girl.

"Um…w-we are the only girl-girl c-couple at our s-school. So, i-it's c-cool to meet you too. …I also like y-your headband."

We exchange numbers with the rambunctious girl while she smiles ear to ear. Her name is Chikara, from the Kanji for "energy." I'm not sure I've ever met someone whose name suited them more.

She does seem nice enough, but I'm not sure how much of her I could take if she's always like this. It's probably the excitement of university that has made her this amped up.

Mercifully, after briefly chatting with Akari about their respective headband collections, she returns to her original seat. My mom returns from the restroom just as the orientation gets underway.

…

It's the end of a long day of mostly boring procedural stuff. Learning where to get our IDs, the campus map, rules and regulations, library tours, and degree plans. The parts I really got serious about were student counseling, medical care, and disability services, for obvious reasons.

We're heading to the meeting place for dinner now. I made my mom loop arms with me because learning about my life here today made me feel needy.

My mom asks, "So, where is this dinner, exactly?"

"The f-faculty club."

"I know what it Is called, but what exactly is that? It sounds fancy. Am I dressed okay?"

I scoff, "You're dressed professionally, where do you think we are going that you would need to dress nicer?"

Akari laughs, "It does sound kind of fancy. It's just a nicer cafeteria for the faculty and their g-guests."

…

We all take a seat with our food, making sure to leave a spot next to my mom open. Once we've been there for a few minutes, the person we left the spot open for arrives. He comes over after with his food after Mrs. Yoshida waves to him.

"Emi, this is Professor Inoue, one of my colleagues who will be joining us. Professor Inoue, Emi's a good friend of mine."

My mom smiles at him as he takes his seat, and I think I saw her eyes wander a bit. "It's nice to meet you, professor."

He waves his hand at her, "You don't need to call me that unless you're a student. You can just call me Hideo."

"Got it. As I am sure you can tell, I am definitely not a student. So, I'll go with Hideo."

His eyes are fixed on my mom. So much so that he hasn't noticed me.

"Hi again, Professor Inoue, I'm Kayoko, we met a few months back. Um…Emi is my mom."

He nods, "Yes of course, and you're Akari. How have you two been?"

"Good. This orientation stuff has been…a little stressful." I squeeze Akari's hand. "But good."

Out of nowhere my mom says, "Wait a minute…Inoue?"

He says, "Yes?"

My mom glances at me and then pokes his arm. "You're the one my daughter texted me about. You're Naomi's brother?"

He smiles, "Yep, that's me."

"That's crazy. Small world, I guess. How is she these days?"

"She's good, getting ready to retire. Been in journalism the last…40 years or so."

"She stuck with it from Yamaku to retirement. That's great."

He smiles, "Yes, what do you do, Emi?"

"I work at Yamaku as a physical therapist and track coach."

"Track coach, eh?"

I thought maybe I'd have to force this topic of conversation, but I should have known it would just come up as much as they both love running.

"Yep. I ran track at Yamaku too, so I've stuck with my club activity just like your sister."

"That's great. Do you still run?"

She smiles, "Every day."

He smiles back, and it seems like they are really engaging now. "Me too. I love running. It's the best way to start the day."

My mom says, "I'm a morning runner too."

They have both shifted their bodies, so they are more square with one another. I'm not a body language expert, but it makes it look like they are really enjoying the conversation.

"What's your routine?"

From here, I start only half listening because they are talking about the granular details of something that I really don't care about. But I can tell that they are having a good conversation. I look over at Mrs. Yoshida, who is watching them with a little smile on her face. She thinks this is going well too.

I check back in when I hear Professor Inoue ask, "Are you still here tomorrow morning? We could run together. I haven't had a running partner in a long time, and it sounds like we have a similar routine."

Whoa, he must be REALLY into her. But I think that's going to be too much for my mom. He's basically asking her on a date. And to do something that she and my dad used to do every day.

The look on my mom's face confirms my suspicions. Her eyes are wide open and she's white as a sheet.

She awkwardly says, "E-excuse me…" stands up, and walks off towards the front of the cafeteria. Professor Inoue looks equal parts dumbfounded and concerned.

Mrs. Yoshida, who looks quite concerned herself, says, "Your mother…didn't look well, Kayoko. Perhaps you should check on her."

I look at Akari, who usually wants me to be patient and give people space in these situations. But she nods.

"Okay, I'll do that. Excuse me."

I have no idea where she went, but my first guess is the bathroom. It looks like a private one. Perks of this "faculty club" thing, I guess.

The door isn't locked. When I walk in, she's standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror with a scowl on her face.

"Hey…you okay, mom?"

Without looking at me, she says, "I… can't believe you did this, Kayoko…"

"Um…what?"

"You're…trying to set me up with that man. It's so obvious. You sat us next to each other and we have a shared interest…that isn't a coincidence, is it?"

"Well…no, but-"

She turns to face me. The look on her face makes me flinch. I've never seen her more upset with me.

Through gritted teeth she says, "I told you, I'm not ready! Why would you do this?! What were you thinking?!"

"We just think you would get along…I…can see that it was a bad idea. I'm sorry."

"Akari and Chiaki are in on this too, aren't they?"

I nod. She clicks her tongue and then shakes her head in disbelief before gritting her teeth and punching the counter in front of her and then glaring at me. I can see more anger bubbling to the surface. Her face has gone red, and her eyes have narrowed. Her fists are clenched.

Her anger has reached a point where she doesn't care that we're in a public place.

She yells, "I'LL START DATING IF AND WHEN I'M READY TO, YOU THREE DON'T GET TO DECIDE!"

Unable to hold it in anymore, I start to cry, "I-I'm sorry, mom…it was d-dumb of me, and now I r-really hurt you."

My tears cause my mom's anger to recede some. She sighs and says, "You shouldn't have deceived me like this. It really hurts my feelings, Kayoko. Not only because you lied, but because you weren't listening to my wishes. I know…you want me to be happy, and maybe at some point a man will help me with that. But I'm not there yet. I'm not even close."

I bow my head, "You're right. I'm so sorry."

She takes a few steps toward me, her anger continuing to fade, but it's quickly replaced by a look of despair.

"I… should want to run with that man. I-it's like he was built in a lab for me." Her lip starts to tremble. "A-and…he was hitting on me, and I should have liked it. But…it made me feel sick…I don't want him. I…I want…" She buries her head in my chest and sobs. I put my arms around her.

Who she really wants is my dad. She doesn't need to finish the sentence.

I hold her tight while her shoulders shake, and my top gets wet with her tears.

Why was I so stupid? I mean, I didn't think he'd ask her out on the day they met, but it still wasn't right for us to do this.

After a few minutes, her tears turn to laughter.

I give her a squeeze, "Uh…I'm glad you're not crying but…this is almost more unsettling."

She pulls back and gets a paper towel to wipe her tears.

"I was just remembering your father going through something similar when we were still friends. The librarian confessed to him, and he had a breakdown. I was just laughing because it's so weird that losing him…has made me understand him better, in a lot of ways. Understand his grief for Saki."

"Oh. Well…that's nice in a …sad kind of way."

My mom laughs, "Yeah. It is. Anyway, we should get out of here."

"Do you want him to go?"

With a voice still raw from crying my mom says, "No, he didn't do anything wrong. I…kind of doubt he's still here anyway. We've been in here for a while. He's a smart man, he knows I left because of what he said."

We leave the bathroom together after cleaning ourselves up a bit from crying, and when we return, we see my mom's prediction was correct. Professor Inoue is gone. Mrs. Yoshida and Akari look at us with concern, so I just explain what happened as simply as I can.

"She figured out…what we were trying to do. She's upset with us."

Mrs. Yoshida says, "I'm sorry, Emi."

My mom shoots a glare at her but then she sighs and says, "What did he do?"

Akari and her mom exchange a look. "H-he thought he really overstepped…a-asking you to run. He was embarrassed. He apologized like six times. He l-left not long after you."

My mom shakes her head. "He didn't do anything wrong…"

"He…figured it all out, Emi."

She raises her eyebrows. "What does that mean?"

"Well…when you left, he remembered that Kayoko mentioned that her father had passed away. So…he figured out why you were upset."

She crosses her arms and scoffs, "A stranger figured it out but not you three, huh?"

Mrs. Yoshida bows her head apologetically. "We…deserve that."

"The girls doing something like this…isn't nearly as surprising as you doing it. You're level-headed and cautious. To a fault sometimes."

Mrs. Yoshida frowns, "You're right. Not only did I take part…I was sort of the mastermind. So, be upset with me, not the girls."

"Seriously? Why? What motivated you?"

"Well. I met him. That was the catalyst. I told the girls about him…they met him and agreed."

"Meeting him? That's it?"

"Mom…in the bathroom you said it was like he was built for you in a lab. She saw the same thing. That's all. We just wanted you to meet him. We didn't want you to start dating today or anything."

My mom nods. "Fine." She sighs. "Was he really upset?"

Mrs. Yoshida says, "He was. But I will deal with that." She takes off her glasses and pinches the bridge of her nose. "This was really bad of me. Not only did I hurt you, but I put my junior faculty in a very bad position."

My mom smirks, "You really love me, don't you?"

Mrs. Yoshida gets flustered, making me and Akari giggle.

My mom continues with the grin still firmly on her face, "I just mean…this is really out of character for you, and you did it for me. It was a horrible idea, but you were doing it for me."

Mrs. Yoshida nods, "I…I do care for you, yes."

"Love you too. Anyway…what can we do to help this poor guy?"

"Emi, I said I'd take responsibility for that."

"I know you did, and you need to apologize. But I think he'll keep feeling bad unless he talks to me and knows I forgive him. I don't think he can get that from you."

Mrs. Yoshida relents, "Fine. He might be in his office. We'll talk to him if he is."

"The girls are coming too. They owe him an apology as much as you do."

…

We're at the door to Professor Inoue's office. Mrs. Yoshida knocks, and we hear him say, "Come in."

She opens the door, and gestures for us to wait. She goes in and leaves the door ajar.

"Hello Hideo, are you busy?"

"No busier than usual…actually I'd like to talk to you and apologize for earlier. So come in, have a seat."

Upon hearing this, my mom pushes the door open and walks in, instructing me and Akari to follow. Professor Inoue looks stunned, especially when my mom sits down in a chair across from his desk. He looks at her with uncertainty and she says, "You don't need to apologize for anything. They all need to apologize to you."

"Why would they need to?"

My mom looks at me and gestures for me to say something.

"Um…the three of us set this up. We…wanted you two to meet and see if…there was any chemistry. We deceived both of you in setting it up."

He looks at me for a moment and smirks slightly, "I knew you were interviewing me when we first met."

I nod bashfully.

Akari says, "Yes…W-we made a mistake."

Mrs. Yoshida says, "I'm very sorry. I shouldn't have used you like this, as a colleague."

He nods, "Okay. Well…thank you all for being honest." He looks at my mom. "But I still feel like I owe you an apology."

My mom flashes a charming smile at him. "You don't. You didn't do anything wrong. You're an attractive guy who asked a really attractive woman to go running with you. Who could blame you?" She finishes her statement with a playful wink.

Way to send mixed signals, mom.

He raises an eyebrow at my mother, "I feel like you're flirting with me…even as you are telling me you don't want to run with me..."

My mom blushes slightly, "That's because I am. I was earlier too, before…you invited me to run. But…flirting is the full extent of my romantic ability right now. It doesn't mean anything. Other than that I think you're a nice, good-looking guy."

He nods and smiles, "Fair enough. Well…thank you for tracking me down…just to make me feel less guilty. You truly are a remarkable woman."

My mom's face reddens again, and she stands up with a smirk, "Thank you. It was nice meeting you. Look me up in 5 or 10 years, if you're still on the market."

He chuckles, "I may just do that."

My mom, Akari, and I just got out of a cab at the university. We're about to part for the day. Akari and my mom are heading to the music building and I'm going to the science building. Akari is very anxious, she's been alternating between wringing her hands and fidgeting with her headband the whole way here.

"I can go with you if you really need me to. Daisuke can fill me in on all this stuff."

She shakes her head violently, "No. You're going. Y-you…have to do your own stuff, even when I'm anxious. I can do it. E-especially with your mom."

I hug her, "Okay. I know they'll love you over there. Too bad you aren't playing today, that would really blow their minds since you're the best in the world. But today they'll just have to settle for you being the prettiest, sweetest girl in the world."

She squeezes me tight and giggles, "Y-you're silly. I could only be in second place at best, because of you."

I laugh, "We'll say it's a tie." I give her a quick kiss. "I'll be excited to hear all about it later. I love you."

"Love you too."

I can tell from the look on her face that I helped a little.

After we break our hug, my mom comes in for one. Which I'm thankful for. Being here has only made me needier. In fact, I'm a tiny bit jealous she'll be spending the day with Akari instead of me.

People will probably think she's HER mom because they look more alike than we do. But she's MY mom! Mine!

I can't ever let anyone know how childish I'm feeling about this.

While we hug, my mom quietly says, "I'll take good care of her, okay?"

"I know you will. You always do. I bet she'll need less help than you think, too."

After that, we head to our opposite sides of the campus.

…

I'm in the science building trying to track down the correct lecture hall for my orientation, but the room numbers don't make any sense. They keep jumping by 10 or 20, and the room I'm looking for doesn't seem to exist. Why aren't there signs for orientation? And why is it so quiet?

I'm getting very flustered, but at least I'm super early.

I need to sit down and pull myself together, though. Walking around while I'm flustered and distracted is a good way to get hurt.

I sit down on a bench and get out my phone. I consider texting Akari to check in, partly because I'm worried, but I could use some encouragement myself.

"Kayoko?"

I look up and I am very thankful to see a familiar face. My panic about being lost recedes entirely.

"Daisuke!"

I get up and hug him.

"It's nice to see you, but why are you here?"

I break the hug and look up at him, "Huh? For science orientation. That's why you're here too, right? Since you're giving part of the presentation?"

He laughs, "That's where I'm heading, yeah. But this is the wrong building."

"It is? This isn't the science building?"

"It's…a science building. There are 8 of them. You want Kohiba Hall, building 1."

I look down in embarrassment, "That…explains a lot."

He laughs, "It's a common mistake. Now I can take you there, so you don't get lost again."

"Thank you. I'm lucky you saw me."

As we head off in the direction of the correct science building, he says, "I'm glad you and Akari are coming here. And especially glad you're doing science. I wasn't sure how it was going to go for a while there."

I laugh wryly, "Me neither. But I feel like I made the right choice."

"Now, if only I could get you to do astrophysics."

"It sounds interesting, but yeah, I'm locked in on the biology side. It's genetics for me. Sorry."

"Fine, fine. I suppose your reasons are noble enough."

I laugh, "Glad you approve."

We enter a new building, and I can immediately tell I'm in the right place now. Lots of signage about orientation and people milling about in the lobby. This is what I expected to see.

I follow Daisuke into a classroom with the number I was so desperately looking for earlier. It's a lecture hall, but only for about 100 people.

We stand at the front and Daisuke says, "Well, this is where you'll be spending the first part of the day. We have activities and stuff planned, so it shouldn't be too bad."

Just as I'm about to respond, I hear, "KAYOKO! YOU'RE IN SCIENCE TOO!?" from the direction of the door we just came in through.

Daisuke laughs as I wince from the incredibly loud voice to our side. I've only heard it very briefly, but it would be hard to forget. Of course she's in the same program as me. Great.

Well, I guess it's better than if she was at Akari's orientation right now.

I turn and say, "Hi Chikari. Yep. I'm doing science. Um…this is Daisuke, he's my childhood friend and he's in his third year here."

She approaches us and smiles at Daisuke, "Wow, that's really cool!"

She's wearing a red headband today. She seems to like a little more variety than Akari.

He laughs, "I'm glad you think so. You seem very excited about this, I'm glad to see that."

She laughs and starts speaking a mile a minute, "I am. I've been itching to get out of my tiny backwoods hometown and go to university for years. Now that it's happening, I can't seem to stop smiling. Everything is amazing! The city, the campus, the people." She puts her hand on my shoulder, startling me a little. "Like, I met Kayoko and her girlfriend yesterday. I'm gay too, and it was the first time I've ever seen a lesbian couple in person, and it made me so happy!" Her smile falters a little bit. "Sorry, that was probably an overshare. I need to work on that."

Daisuke smiles, "It's okay. I'm gay too. You will see more of that here."

Chikari's smile returns, "That's awesome!" She gasps, "Maybe I'll finally get a girlfriend."

I laugh, "Sounds like the chances are going to be much better than in your hometown, that's for sure."

She winks at me, "I'll have to rely on you and Akari for advice."

Now that we are in the same program, being this girl's friend seems inevitable. She does seem sweet. Hopefully she calms down as university life becomes the norm.

"Yep, we can help. Daisuke actually helped me when I was trying to figure out if I should confess to Kari."

Chiaki's eyes light up, "I'm going to need to hear that story one day."

I laugh, "I'm sure you will."

Just as I'm about to steer the conversation in the direction of science, a professor comes into the room. Daisuke goes to meet him.

Chikari and I take a seat at a couple of the desks in the front row.

…

I'm eating lunch in the university cafeteria with Chikari after the morning's activities. During the morning session, we all discussed our specific area of interest in science. It turns out I have even more in common with Chikari.

"That's crazy we both want to do genetics. What made you interested in it specifically?"

This is…a fairly easy question. But for the first time in a long time, I'm in an environment where people with physical disabilities aren't the norm. Am I supposed to tell people so early on in knowing them? Or is it too much information? Will she treat me differently? In middle school I told people, but I was just a kid. Are things different now in university?

This girl was willing to tell us a lot about herself like 30 seconds into meeting her, so it's probably okay with her. But these are things I'm going to have to think about that I didn't really take into account until being asked this question.

"Kari and I both go to a school for disabled students. I have a genetic condition, and some of my friends at school do too. So, I got really interested in genetics, gene editing specifically."

She's quiet for a moment and then says, "Wow. That's…awesome."

I laugh softly, "I guess so. What got you interested?"

She sighs, "I don't know if I wanna tell you, now."

I laugh, "Come on. I just shared a lot!"

She frowns, "Well, yeah, but…that's why. My reasons are dumb by comparison."

"I doubt that's true."

She sighs, "Fine. My family owns a sugar beet farm. I work on it a lot. So, I got interested in agricultural science. I want to find a way to make crops better, more efficient." She looks away, with shame in her eyes.

"That's not dumb. I first learned about gene editing in an article about that. Making it so we have more efficient crops is important since we humans don't seem to stop breeding."

She smiles, "That's true. Although I guess you and I aren't going to be doing any breeding, huh?" She winks.

I laugh, "No, I guess not."

She folds her hands and rests her chin on them, "Sooo, how did you and Akari meet, anyway?"

I laugh, "We're going there, huh?"

She nods eagerly.

I'm going to go with the short version for now. Akari and I can tell her the whole thing together some day.

"Well, we were both in band and we became best friends. After more than a year of friendship, we both decided we wanted something more. So, we got together. Been together a year and a half now."

She frowns for a moment, but then smiles again, but it doesn't look very genuine, "That's really nice."

"Are you okay?"

She sighs, "Yeah…I had the same thing happen with my best friend, but it was…one-sided."

"I was worried that would happen. The moment I realized I was in love with Kari, I started crying. Because I was sure she couldn't feel that way about me. I was very lucky that feeling was only temporary. I'm so sorry it wasn't for you."

"Yeah. It was hard. She was nice as can be about it, at least. We're still friends. But…it's hard sometimes."

I smile, "Well, I'm sure you'll find yourself a girl here, just give it time."

She smiles back, "It feels really good to have someone to talk to about this who can really relate. So, thanks. I LOVE university so far."

It's honestly nice for me too.

I laugh, "I think you mentioned that. I like it too."

I lightly nudge my girlfriend who is seated next to me and looking at a menu, "Kari, you still haven't really told me anything about your day, other than that it was good."

I told her about my day on the way here. She thinks it's funny Chikari appears to be becoming a legitimate friend.

She sighs, "I'm exhausted. You know how it is on bad anxiety days. I think I n-need to eat first."

My mom and I are out with the Yoshidas and Daisuke for dinner. We came right here from the university.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I'll be patient. Hearing it was 'good' is enough for now."

We're at a very special restaurant, which makes it easier for me to relent.

Mr. Yoshida asks, "Daisuke, what's your favorite?"

"It's all good. But if I had to pick…I'd say the matzo ball ramen.

There are only three entrees on the menu: Lox Fried Rice, Yakisoba Falafel Sandwich and Matzo Ball Ramen.

Well, at least I know what falafel is.

Daisuke notices the dumbfounded looks we're all giving him, and he laughs.

"Kaito will come out in a second and be able to explain them better than I can. But what I can say is that they are delicious."

We're at a very small restaurant where our party of 7 takes up half the tables. It's called "Yapahn," which I learned is Hebrew for Japan. The food is a fusion of Israeli and Japanese cuisine.

Kaito is the sous-chef here. Apparently, one of his culinary school instructors had another former student who had just come back from a year working at restaurants in Israel, and she set up a meeting between the two of them. This tiny restaurant was the product of that meeting. It just opened two weeks ago.

I just noticed something on the menu that is very exciting. I lean over and point to it on Akari's menu, and she smiles broadly and then nods.

Not long after, a familiar figure makes his way towards our table, coming out from the kitchen. He's clad in a white chef's smock and wearing a big smile. He seems to have the layout of the place memorized, as he walks quite confidently. I suppose that's one of the benefits of a small restaurant. Somehow, he identifies Daisuke and puts his hand on his shoulder.

"Good evening, everyone, I'm really happy to have you all in today. I hope orientation went well."

My mom replies, "It did, we all worked up an appetite."

Kaito laughs, "Don't you always have an appetite, Emi?"

This makes us all laugh, while my mom pouts.

Once I'm done laughing I say, "Hey, Kaito - it's really cool that you and your colleague opened this place."

"Thanks, Kayoko. I feel very lucky, and I'm loving it. I'm sure you all have questions about the menu?"

Daisuke laughs, "I think you'll have to explain the non-Japanese parts of all the entrees."

Kaito smiles, "Very well, I'm getting used to that. 'Lox' is cured smoked salmon. 'Falafel' is fried chick peas-"

"I've had that one before! It's good!"

Kaito laughs, "That's right, you have. And Matzo Balls are soft dumplings made from a special sort of flour, eggs, and fat."

Mr. Yoshida says, "Okay, thank you, Kaito."

My mom looks around hungrily, "We are ready to order now, right?"

Everyone nods and my mom begins, "Lox fried rice please."

Kaito nods, "I will be interested to hear your opinion, since you're so good with fried rice yourself."

"I'm sure it's great, Kaito. I just make food at home. You have a restaurant."

He laughs, "True, but we're just starting out."

After that, Daisuke orders the yakisoba, and Akari's parents both go with ramen.

Now it's my turn, "I'll have the fried rice. And also, I know I'm jumping the gun a bit, but Kari and I will be needing dessert. The melon bread ch-..." I trail off, realizing I have no idea how to say the word I'm staring at.

Kaito laughs softly, "Challah."

"Yeah, that. That's bread, right?"

"It is. I baked it this morning. And what will you have, Akari?"

"I'd like the Falafel yakisoba, please. K-kayoko told me how delicious your falafel was, and I want to try it."

Kaito nods, "I'll head back to the kitchen, and we'll get your dinner started."

…

Akari and I just got into bed for the night and we're snuggling. We're very tired from our long day at the university. The amazing food at Kaito's restaurant only served to make us sleepier.

We head back to Yamaku tomorrow, but we'll be moving here for good in two short weeks. It almost doesn't feel real.

"So…is 'good' all I'm getting out of you today?"

Akari laughs, "I can tell you m-more. I mostly didn't want to say it all in front of everyone."

"Oh. Now you have me sort of worried."

"N-no…don't be. It was good. I was anxious and stuttered a lot at first, almost as bad as when we met. Your mom's familiar presence helped keep me from losing it completely, and I calmed down and did okay. I met some other French horns who w-were nice and we talked a lot."

"That's great."

"Yeah. One of the upperclassmen who was there plays French horn too, and his professor told him about me. Your mom and I had lunch with him, and he was really welcoming. We exchanged numbers and we'll be friends, I think." She sighs, "But then later…your mom said she thinks he likes me."

"Well, she has a pretty good instinct for that, as I've learned over the years. There's a good chance he thought you were attractive at least." I give her a squeeze, "Just…look at you."

She laughs, "I just hope he wasn't n-nice just because of that, I guess."

"Yeah, I doubt that's the only reason. If he's a nice guy like you think, he'll understand, and you'll still be friends. Might want to mention you have a girlfriend soon, so he doesn't get the wrong idea, I guess."

"Yeah. I d-did introduce Emi as 'my girlfriend's mom' but I don't know if he understood I meant girlfriend. I'll make sure he does."

"You better, cause I'm not sharing you with anyone." I punctuate my sentence with a playful kiss on her cheek, making her giggle.

"Overall, it sounds like w-we had a good orientation. I f-feel a lot better now that I met some people."

"Good. I feel happy about it all too."

"This w-was a really good week. I love our apartment. I l-love the university."

"Yeah…our lives are getting ready to change a lot, and we got a preview. It's exciting and scary at the same time. But you know one thing that's not gonna change?"

She holds me tight, "How m-much we love each other."

"Dammit, that's what I was going to say!"

Author's Note: As you've probably gathered, this story is nearing its end! All that's left is one more regular chapter and an epilogue.

Not sure if this was intentional on your part, but Chikara is a name for males... As are most names containing this kanji or those with a similar meaning...
Also "energy" is not quite correct. 力 means "Power" or "Strength" most of the time. "Energy" would be kinda niche.
If you want a female name with a meaning like that, maybe something like "Takemi" (猛美)? Meaning would be something like "fierce beauty".

It's early afternoon. There's a graduation party at my mom's tomorrow night, and the day after is graduation. Akari and I will be going to Tokyo with the Yoshidas after the ceremony. We move into our apartment five days later.

It's all happening so fast. Everything is about to change, and I have some very fluttery butterflies in my stomach, but I'm more excited than scared.

Right now, I'm waiting at the Yamaku gate for Shizuka. She got in a couple hours ago. She's sleeping on the couch at my mom's the next couple of nights.

I am showing her around campus since she's interested in this place as a teacher. I think she also just wants to see the place I've been the last three years, even if she didn't say it outright.

I catch sight of a tall dark-haired woman coming up the hill. I can already tell she's smiling at me, which makes me smile back. When she's in range, I approach her and give her a hug.

"This town is pretty cute. I barely saw it last time."

"Yeah, I like it. How do you like the house? Sorry there isn't more room for you."

"I'm perfectly happy. It's pretty cute too. I just met your grandparents. Is everyone in your family the sweetest person ever?"

I laugh, "Pretty much, yeah. They all have their quirks, but they are nice people."

We go through the iron gate, and I say, "What do you most want to see?"

"Actually…I have something I am itching to talk to you about. Can we go to your dorm first and talk?"

…

Shizuka is looking around my room with a small smile on her face. She just saw the photo of Akari and I at Saki's exhibit in the University of Tokyo concert hall.

She picks up the frame from my desk and says, "Um…can I have a copy of this picture? It's quite possibly the cutest thing I've ever seen."

I laugh, "Yeah, I can get you one. I think Akari's mom has it. It's my favorite picture of us. It was our first picture as a couple. I think it's better than the one from New York because I'm not crying, and my mouth isn't hanging open."

Shizuka laughs, "I like that one too, though. It's candid."

She sits down on the bed next to me, "This is a nice little dorm room. I can't believe you and Akari have lived across from each other your whole relationship. That's like an adolescent dream."

I laugh, "It kind of was."

She smiles, "I bet. Where is she, anyway?"

I sigh, "True to tradition, she's not here when you are. The band is doing a little get together for the graduates. You'll see her tomorrow."

She laughs, "I'll believe it when I see it." She frowns, "Truthfully, I'm embarrassed enough about what I want to talk about that I'm glad she's busy."

"What is it?"

She sighs, "Something I'm sure lots of high school kids have talked about in this dorm hall. That's why it's so embarrassing that I need to talk about as a woman in her mid-30s."

"Um…huh?"

She laughs, "A colleague of mine confessed to me. Yesterday after our graduation ceremony."

"I see. How are you feeling about that?"

"Well…it didn't immediately make me want to run away, and that's how confessions have made me feel so far in my life."

"That's good, then. How do you feel about him?"

"We've worked together for several years. He's cute. And nice. We usually have lunch together. We play games together sometimes. We've gotten closer the last few months. I think because I've been more open and less aloof. I…recently told him about you."

I smile, "Wow. That is close. I'm happy you were able to talk about it."

She smiles back, "Me too. So…yeah, he told me he is in love with me, and has been for a while." She smiles and blushes, "T-told me…I'm the woman of his dreams, actually."

"Aw."

She laughs, "Shut up."

I'm serious! But I need to get to the point here.

"What did you tell him?"

She grimaces, "I…r-really awkwardly thanked him. Like he had just done me some small favor. And then I said that I was going on a trip, and I'd have an answer when I got back."

"Do you like him?"

"I…think I do. But…I don't know if I can do it."

"Still worried about getting too close to someone?"

"A little bit. But that's not the first thing on my mind anymore. I have a new concern." She sighs, "This is the most embarrassing part, so give me a second."

She looks down and closes her eyes. After a few moments she looks back up and takes a deep breath and then exhales as she forces the words out, "I've…only had sex once, in…my entire life."

I raise my eyebrows, "Oh. That means-"

She finishes for me, "It was the time I got pregnant with you, yeah. I…tried a few times over the years, but the memory of what happened my first time…it always ruined the mood, let's say. I've never done more than make out with anyone else other than…him." She laughs wryly. "Pathetic, huh? I'm a 34-year-old who only had sex once, 20 years ago. My 18-year-old daughter has had lots more sex than me…I'm guessing."

I hug her, "It's not pathetic…don't say that. What you went through would make a lot of people swear off sex. Especially with the way your parents made you feel about it."

She hugs me back, "Th-thank you for saying that. But…I'm worried. Men my age…they're going to be experienced. For example, this guy had a broken engagement a few years ago. I bet he wants…someone who knows what they are doing. That definitely isn't me." She looks at me. "Y-your…mom…she didn't have a serious boyfriend until she was my age, right?"

I frown, "Right. But she kind of went…in the opposite direction from you. She can't relate to this part."

She raises her eyebrows, "I see…so she-"

"Slept with a whole lot of guys, yeah. So many she isn't even sure of the number. Can we move on?"

She giggles, "Of course. Sorry."

I smile at her, "This might be a challenge, depending on the guy. But...I feel like there have got to be guys out there that will like it too."

"Like it?"

"Yeah. The idea that…you know, he's the first one you've been with in a very long time. I mean you're not technically a virgin, but there are definitely guys into that…and you're not that far off…"

She laughs, "Yeah. Maybe you're right. I guess…if it's important to him that I have a lot of sexual experience, I probably just…don't want to be with him anyway." She lets go of me and looks down, "Um…have you…been with a man, Kayoko?"

"A little. I had that boyfriend I told you about. We only did hand stuff, though. I…didn't want to go further, at the time. And my only partner since then is Kari. I can maybe…give you a little advice if you want, but I'm far from an expert on having sex with men."

She raises an eyebrow and grins at me, "Are you saying you are an expert on sex with women?"

I shrug, "I'm an expert at having sex with Akari. That much I know."

"I see." She laughs, "I guess we really are more like sisters than mother and daughter, talking about this so candidly."

I smile, "Yeah...I guess so. I mean, I'm pretty open with my mom about sex, but not this open."

"Sounds like maybe I should talk to her for advice with men."

I cross my arms and I'm about to complain about her bringing this up again. But she really is worried about this. So, I go a different route.

I sigh, "Honestly? She'd probably give it to you if you asked. I will say…she once told me the most important thing about sex is that you love the other person. And that's coming from someone with tons of experience."

She smiles, "That's good to hear. Well…thanks for the pep talk, onee-chan. I think I will give this colleague a chance."

I smile, "Sounds like a good idea. He knows you well and he's familiar to you, so probably a comfortable starting point too. I'm always available for girl talk. I'll even be living in the same city as you in a few days so it will be even easier."

She hugs me again, and is sniffling now, "Thank you… so m-much, Kayoko."

At first, I'm a little confused that my offer of girl talk brought her to tears. But then I realize she's thanking me for more than that. I return her hug and start to cry a little too.

Seriously, is there a crybaby gene?

…

I'm waiting on the piano bench in the band room for Junichiro. Tonight will be our last piano lesson ever. He's gotten quite good over the course of the school year, and if he wanted to, he could probably join the main band now, though he would still need to do a lot of extra work on the side to catch up.

He just came through the door with a wave and a "Hi, senpai."

"Hey yourself. Glad all your tests are over?"

He nods and walks over to me and sits down on the bench. Now that he's closer, I notice he has a look of dread on his face.

"I…have something I need to tell you. Don't get mad, okay?"

I laugh wryly, "I can't agree to that until I know what it is."

He sighs, "I'm not going to continue with the piano next year."

I heave a sigh of relief, "Yeah, I figured. Your sculptures have been really well received and you seem to enjoy that more."

He breathes a sigh of relief himself and then smiles at me, "I thought you were going to be mad. I was going to wait to tell you until next school year, but Chisa said I had to do it in person."

I laugh, "Well, I'm glad you did. Telling me later probably would have made me mad. Especially if I found out you had made the decision when I was still here."

He looks down at his hands nervously, "You don't feel like you wasted your time teaching me all year?"

"Are you crazy? Of course not. You became one of my best friends. You were a great student who helped me explore my career options, and ultimately gave me the push I needed to finally make a choice. I'll cherish all this time in the band room with you."

He smiles at me, "I'll cherish it too."

"Well? Do you want to play some today, one last time with me, or just hang out?"

He opens the piano key lid, "I want to play."

As I smile and watch him play, I think about how great a year Junichiro has had. Sure, he had that bad surgery, but he really discovered himself this year. When he got here, he didn't think he could feel romantic love and he was desperately trying to find a way to leave behind something that would stand the test of time. Here we are at the end of his first year, and he's got a great girlfriend and he's already made two sculptures, with more planned. The art teacher even thinks they'll be able to get him funding to do bronze castings next year.

After playing for about 10 minutes, Junichiro suddenly misplays several notes. He stops and frowns.

"Junichiro? What's wrong?"

He raises his left hand to his face, and waves it in front of his left eye. "S-something is wrong…"

"Wrong?"

He closes his left eye, and then opens it before closing his right eye. "My left eye. It's…dark in the middle. Like the light is turned off."

No.

No!

NO!

NO!!!!

I do my best to suppress the tempest of anger, frustration, and sadness inside of me, so he doesn't see it. Punching something would be a very bad idea anyway.

I stand up and take his hand. "That's enough piano. We are getting you to the nurse."

He nods and stands up but looks a little uneasy.

"Can you walk okay?"

"I…think so. Just weird not being able to see things the right way." He closes his left eye, "Looks okay if I do this, I guess."

"Okay. Just hold on to my hand. If you feel like you can't walk, let me know, and we'll get help."

He nods, and we head to the nurse together.

On the way he says, "I haven't ever had eye problems before. I know it can happen with my condition…but there has been no sign of them. Do you think that's what it is?"

Probably. But I hope I'm wrong.

"Maybe. I know weird eye stuff can happen with migraines and stuff too. That's what we need to find out."

He's very quiet the rest of the walk.

When we get to the medical building, I see that the night nurse is working. She seems more on top of things and more confident than she did at the start of the school year. I'm thankful for that, because this situation is challenging.

We get settled in an examination room, and Junichiro asks me to let Chisa know where we are, so I text her.

The night nurse examines his eye. She shines a flashlight in it and says, "Have you had any eye symptoms before tonight?"

He sighs, "Well...my vision has gotten blurry a few times the last few days, but I thought they were just strained from staying up late and studying."

The nurse replies, "I see. You've never had any issues with your eyes before this?"

"No. So far, I haven't had tumors there. They even stopped checking them as much. Just three times a year, now."

The nurse frowns and turns off her light, "Based on your symptoms and your condition, there's a very good chance you have a hemangioblastoma – a small tumor on one of your retinal capillaries. It's interfering with your retina's ability to absorb light. We'll need to get you to the hospital to confirm that and treat it quickly if that's what you have. If we leave it, it can tear or detach your retina. I'll go call an ambulance."

As she turns to leave the room he quietly says, "W-wait. Is it…surgery?"

She turns around and says, "If it's a hemangioblastoma, yes. Hopefully a non-invasive laser surgery. But I don't know anything for sure. That's what we need to get you to the hospital to find out."

His face contorts into a look of anguish. There's also more than a hint of rage. He looks how I felt in the band room.

The nurse pats him on the shoulder and says, "I'm sorry. But the sooner we get you there, the less likely a big surgery is."

He doesn't respond, and the nurse leaves the room, shooting me a supportive smile on her way out.

After the nurse leaves the room, Junichiro explodes out of the bed and starts pounding it with both of his fists while screaming with tears streaming down his face, "I. HATE. MY. STUPID. FUCKING. BODY! PAIN ISN'T ENOUGH? SHORTENING MY LIFE ISN'T EITHER?! YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME GO BLIND TOO? WANT TO MAKE IT SO I CAN'T EVEN FUCKING SCULPT BEFORE I DIE? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU'RE USELESS!"

He turns around and kicks over a stool next to the bed, and then picks up the chair next to me and throws it across the room while continuing to curse his own body.

I sit in silence and do my best to keep it together. I know that he probably needs this outlet and there's nothing I can do to calm him. I mean, I wanted to punch something as hard as I could about this, and it isn't happening to me. I would be just as angry. I could easily get hurt if I tried to stop him anyway.

But then, instead of channeling his anger into objects around him, he turns it on the same body he is cursing. He slams his head against the wall as hard as he can, an action that's accompanied by a sickening thud.

Seeing this, I lose all concern for my own well-being. I stand up and hug him from behind, trying to comfort and restrain him at the same time.

"Junichiro…please…don't."

He escapes my grip and slams his head into the wall again. I try to hug him again, but he slaps my hands away. Left with no way to stop him myself, I head out in the hallway as quickly as I can, hoping to find the nurse, but I run into Chisa.

"This his room?"

"It…is. But he's very upset. And hurting himself. I'm going to get help."

Her eyes get wide, and she runs into the room, while I go find the nurse. When I find her and tell her about the situation, she quickly gets a syringe and fills it with what must be a tranquilizer before we return to the room.

When we get there, Chisa is hugging Junichiro and he's bawling into her chest.

And she thinks I'M better with him? I couldn't calm him at all.

The nurse and I breathe a sigh of relief together. Then the nurse sternly says, "Junichiro…I'll need to check for a concussion, now. Please get back in the bed."

He doesn't budge at first. But then Chisa gently says, "Juni…" and he nods and gets in the hospital bed. The nurse looks at his eyes, and the several knots on his head.

"It looks like you didn't do too much damage. Do you think you might do that again?"

He shakes his head.

The nurse says, "Okay. We don't have to do the syringe, but I'll go get you a pill that will help calm you down, okay?"

Junichiro nods. Chisa pulls up a chair and holds his hand and starts talking quietly to him. I can't make out what she's saying, but he looks a million times better than he did a minute ago. He's even smiling a little at her.

After the nurse returns and Junichiro takes his pill, she turns to me and quietly says, "We need to take care of that too, don't we?"

"Huh?"

She gently takes my wrist and looks at my hand and whispers, "It looks like you dislocated a couple fingers. It doesn't hurt?"

I look down at my hand. She's right. My middle and ring fever are dislocated at the second knuckle on my right hand. I didn't even notice. It must have happened when I tried to restrain him. Now that I'm looking down at my hand though, it hurts like hell. I was running on adrenaline, I guess.

I really don't want Junichiro to see this if I can help it. Luckily, he is talking to Chisa, and they didn't hear any of this. And the nurse was careful not to draw too much attention to the situation.

Damn, she's really good at this now.

I put my left pointer finger to my lips in a 'Shhh' gesture and then point to the hall. The nurse nods and leaves.

I say, "I'll be right back."

Junichiro says, "Senpai…you can go. It's late and you have your party tomorrow."

"But-"

"It's okay, Kayoko. I'm stayin'. I'll update ya."

I do need to leave this in her hands. That's definitely what she wants me to do, given the talk we had the other day. And in this full-on crisis, she definitely has a better handle on things. I do want to say something first though.

I walk up to the bed and take Junichiro's free hand while concealing my right hand behind my back.

"This sucks. Anyone would be incredibly upset. Do whatever you need as an outlet. Except hurt yourself, okay?"

"She's right, Juni."

He nods, "I just…lost it. I'm so tired of this…I just got back to school from a surgery. I have pain from adhesions that will need surgery in a week and now I need another one."

I can really see what he means when he says he can only take so much of this. I saw it a little after his kidney surgery, but I'm really seeing it now with everything piling up. He really didn't need to start having issues with his eyes on top of everything.

I squeeze his hand. "Before I go…I'm gonna need to hear you…promise you won't hurt yourself again."

He puts his other hand and mine and locks eyes with me, "I promise I won't hurt myself again."

I smile, "Good. Alright…I'll get going. I'll be checking in…since I'm crazy."

Chisa laughs, "You're just a good friend."

Junichiro smiles, "And a good senpai."

I smile at her and then reach out to ruffle his hair, before realizing that's probably not the best idea with how his head must be feeling. So, I give his hand one last squeeze and leave the room.

My fingers are in excruciating pain, but somehow, I was able to avoid being too obvious about it in there.

I go down the hall to the nurse's office, then she takes me to an examination room. It looks like she already has everything set up.

Once I'm seated on the bed, I say, "Thank you for…everything…tonight. You've…been great."

Yep. Definitely have my usual strained pain voice now. Adrenaline is really wearing off. It hurts so much I feel a little dizzy.

She sighs while examining my fingers, "Doesn't feel great. I should have kept an eye on him. Then maybe neither of you would be hurt."

"Well, for what it's worth, I…didn't see it coming either. You did…a good job."

She laughs, "Are you trying to reassure me while you have two painfully dislocated fingers that you have from trying to restrain one of my patients?"

"Maybe."

She smiles, "Well…thank you. Are you ready?"

I don't have anyone's hand to squeeze. Gonna have to be a big girl tonight.

"Ready."

She puts my fingers back in place, and I manage to keep from being too loud. Then, she puts splints on each of my fingers.

"Can I…come back tomorrow for the x-ray? And ice it in my room? I need to get out of here before they see me."

"Hmm…normally I wouldn't let you. But you're right, for his well-being we don't want him to see this right now. And I know you'll come back. I'll let the day nurse know."

"Okay, thank you." I stand up and head towards the door.

"Hey…Kayoko. Congratulations on graduating. I'll always remember you and Akari as my first patients here."

I turn around and smile at her, "Thanks. It isn't goodbye, though. I'm sure you'll see me every now and then, with my mom still working here. Thanks for doing such a good job treating me and my friends when we needed it."

She nods thankfully, and I head back to the dorms.

…

"Mmn…Yoko?"

My half-asleep girlfriend just woke up and noticed I'm lying in bed and staring intently at my phone screen. It's 2 a.m.

"Y-you need to sleep."

"I know, I will. I'm just waiting until I get the update after surgery, he's about to go in. Sorry I woke you up. I'll go to my room."

"No…you don't n-need to." She scoots closer to me, hugs me close, and kisses the side of my head. "I'll stay up with you. What's the most r-recent?"

"They are pretty sure it just needs laser surgery, but they won't know for sure until they do it."

Akari sighs, "His whole life has been l-like that year when I had five surgeries on my hips."

"Yeah. Pretty much." My phone buzzes. Chisa just sent a text in a group chat with Junichiro's mom and dad.

I relay the information to Akari, "He just went back for the surgery. If it goes well…it will be over in like 25 minutes."

Akari strokes my hair and smiles at me, "Do you want to talk about other s-stuff while we wait? Or do you want to talk about him?"

"I don't know if I can be distracted by other stuff right now. Seeing how distraught he was earlier…I'm just really worried about him. Not just about this surgery, but…" I trail off, but Akari finishes for me.

"You're w-worried he's close to being ready to go?"

I nod, "Selfish, isn't it? If he feels it's his time, I should just accept it."

"It's not selfish. You would accept it and support him. We all would. But we can be sad about it too. Your dad was distraught for y-years about losing Saki, even though he supported her and understood, right?"

I nod, as a few tears flow down my cheeks. "You're right. Seeing how hard it is for him, I would support him. But…also be devastated."

"Well…hopefully it's not time yet. I don't think it is, since Chisa was able to console him, and he agreed to this surgery. But you're r-right…what you saw tonight probably means that time might come…sooner than we thought…" Akari trails off and starts to sniffle.

I put my hand on her cheek where I feel tears, "I'm sorry. I've been acting like I'm the only one who would be devastated."

"Well…I'm sure it would hit you harder, you two have really bonded over the last year. But…yeah, he's one of my b-best friends too."

I smile, "Remember when you thought he was in love with me?"

She gives me an embarrassed chuckle, "He sculpted your hands. And he c-called you late at night once and you came back looking upset. I wasn't being that crazy."

I laugh, "I know."

Akari frowns, "In retrospect…I wish the cause of all that w-was that he was in love with you."

I sigh, "Yeah, me too."

She chuckles, "We would have made a c-cute throuple."

I laugh, "Yeah, right. Neither of us are good at sharing, I don't think."

My phone buzzes and I breathe a sigh of relief and smile, "It's over. The laser surgery was enough to remove the small tumor and fix his retina. He didn't even need general anesthesia. They'll send him home in a few hours."

Akari laughs happily and plants a celebratory kiss on my lips, which I return.

She breaks the kiss and smiles at me, "Feel better?"

"Lots. Let's get some sleep."

We're at my mom's for the graduation party. It is very lively. Certainly more guests than we had last year. After all, four of us are graduating this time and all our parents and many of our friends are here.

On top of that, everyone in my family is here except Daisuke and Kaito.

There's also lots of great food prepared by my mom and brought by other guests. Excitement really permeates the air.

My mom really went all out.

But…I can't get into it. I know Junichiro is okay, but I can't get him out of my mind. He and Chisa should be here.

Right now, Shizuka and Akari are having an animated conversation in the living room. That, at least, makes me smile. I was starting to think that the fates didn't want them to ever have a conversation. It's fun just watching them interact, but I'm kind of spacing out.

Suddenly there's a hand on my shoulder, "Everything okay, sweetie?"

I turn to see my aunt, "Yeah, I'm okay. I just wish Junichiro and Chisa were here. You heard what happened?"

She nods, "I did. Tough break."

I nod grimly.

She smiles, clearly trying to change the mood, "You did a really great job teaching him this year. I watched him play a couple times and his progress is remarkable. If you ever come to your senses and come back to music, you'd make a great teacher."

I laugh wryly, "Thanks for your full-throated support of my career decision."

She clicks her tongue, "You know I'm joking, sweetie. Well, mostly. I do have a bit of a complex over losing to your dad with both you and Daisuke."

I gasp, "Really? That's news to me."

She puts her hand on my shoulder, "I am really proud of you sweetie. I'm glad you're doing science. And I'm sorry Junichiro can't be here."

"Thank you."

She smiles and looks over my shoulder, "Well, speak of the devil. Go talk to him."

I turn to look, and I see Junichiro, flanked by Chisa and his mother. They just took a seat on the couch.

He has a bandage over his eye, with what looks like a piece of plastic with holes in it over that. He also has a couple nasty bruises on his forehead from what he did to himself. But he looks like he is in surprisingly good spirits.

I approach him and say "Junichiro! I'm happy to see you but…should you be here?"

"I shouldn't stay for too long, but yes. It's fine for a short visit. You're all my best friends…I couldn't miss it completely." I look at Chisa and his mom, and they both nod. I suppose they wouldn't have let him come if it was a bad idea.

His eyes move to my splinted fingers.

Shit, I should have hidden them. Not that I could have done it the whole time he is here anyway.

"You dislocated them?"

"I did, yeah. Just…happened in my sleep."

He studies my face for a moment and just when I think he's about to ask a damning follow-up question, my mom appears and says, "Junichiro, sorry about your tough day yesterday, but I'm glad you feel well enough to be here."

Nice save, mom. Where did she even come from though? Fastest Thing on No Legs, I guess.

Junichiro turns to my mom and smiles, "Hi, Emi. Mom…this is Kayoko's mother."

My mom and I join them on the couch.

Mrs. Ito says, "You call Mrs. Nakai by her first name?"

My mom laughs, "Only because I asked him to. He's been friends with my daughter for a while now, and I'm the subject of his latest sculpture, so I figured it was okay. I apologize for teaching him bad habits."

Mrs. Ito smiles, "If it's okay with you, it's okay with me. It's nice to meet you."

"You too."

"Thank you for being here for my son. He calls you his 'Yamaku mom' sometimes."

My mom laughs, "Me? Not Kayoko?"

Junichiro and I scoff in unison and then laugh at our similar reactions.

Mrs. Ito gives us a bemused look and says, "No, he doesn't call her that. But I can see why you might think he would."

"Well…Kayoko and the others might be leaving, but I'm not. So, I can still be his 'Yamaku mom'." She turns to Junichiro and Chisa, "Don't be strangers, you two. You can still come visit and ask me for help, if you need it."

Junichiro smiles and nods, "I'm sure we will. Thank you."

Before long, Ai, Carsten, and Akari also join us in the living room, and my mom and Mrs. Ito go off somewhere to talk. Now that my friend group is complete, I realize there is someone who I want to make sure meets everyone.

I flag her down and say, "Shizuka, come meet all my friends!"

Ai whistles when Shizuka comes over, "Whoa, there's two of you? I could barely handle one of you tall dark-haired busty vixens."

Akari blushes, giggles and slaps Ai's arm.

Akari's reaction makes me think she told Ai that Shizuka is attractive. Guess it makes sense.

I sigh, "Shizuka…that flirt over there is Ai. The guy next to her is her fiancé, Carsten."

She smiles, "Nice to meet you both. Congratulations on the engagement, and the baby."

Ai smiles and takes Carsten's hand, "Thank you. Sorry for embarrassing you a minute ago. I'm the token annoying friend."

Carsten adds, "I apologize for her behavior."

Shizuka laughs and puts a hand on my shoulder, "It was funny. Don't worry about it. I like that she looks so much like me, anyway."

"And the other couple is Junichiro and Chisa. He was my piano student this year."

I notice Shizuka stares a little when she sees Junichiro's eye patch and bruises. I forget she isn't around people like us regularly. Plus, Junichiro does look rough right now. Moreso from the beating he gave himself than the surgery.

"Nice to meet you two. Are you graduating too?"

Junichiro responds, "No, we're first years."

"Ah, I see. Must be tough having 4 friends graduate at once."

Chisa nods, "It is. But we'll still be friends."

I smile at her, "That's right."

…

The party is dying down now. Everyone's gone home except my immediate family and those of us who are graduating tomorrow. Shizuka, my mom and Akari are deep in conversation at the dining table.

I'm with Carsten and Ai in the living room. Given how busy tomorrow morning is, this is probably the last time we'll have a relaxed conversation in person for a while.

Ai says, "Do you remember what I said at last year's party?"

"That's…vague. You say a lot of things, Ai."

Carsten laughs, "She means what she said about this year's party at last year's party."

"Ohhhh. That it had to be better this year, or else?"

Ai nods, "Well…your mom did go bigger this year. I studied last year's pictures this morning just to be sure."

I laugh, "You're serious, aren't you?"

She narrows her eyes, "Deadly serious. But there's more food, more people, more decorations. So she escapes my wrath."

I give her an exaggerated sigh of relief, "Thank goodness for that. God forbid there was one less plate of dangos or something. If there were, it would mean she doesn't love me."

Ai giggles and to my surprise, she takes my hand, "I'm gonna miss you chastising me for being ridiculous."

I laugh, "Well…we can always do that over the phone." I turn to Carsten, "You better keep her in check though, who knows what will happen if you don't."

He smiles, "I will. I'll just text you for backup if I need it."

I smile back, "Good. Make sure you two let us know when you're visiting your parents. I'm also gonna need to see that baby as soon as possible."

Ai laughs, "Of course." She frowns, "It does…suck that we'll be so far away from you and Akari. But the cost of living in Sapporo is so much more manageable than Tokyo, and my parents have a room for us."

"Yeah, distance will suck, but we'll be okay. Maybe we'll come visit you anytime we come here, since we'll be closer."

Ai nods but looks a little sad. It is true that seeing each other over the next year is going to be challenging. I'm probably being overly optimistic, but if I start thinking about how little I'm going to see them in the near future, I'll never stop crying.

On to a more positive topic.

"Your parents seemed much more mellow about things tonight."

Carsten nods and puts his hand on Ai's now evident baby bump, "Now that they can see this, they are all excited and much nicer to us."

I laugh, "Yeah, hard to yell at the cute pregnant girl." I look at Carsten, "How goes the job search?"

"Not amazingly, a lot of what I'm qualified for is manual labor…and my leg holds me back from a lot of it."

"That sucks. Maybe once you're there it'll be easier to find something."

"Ai's mom did tell me tonight she found a temporary part-time job for me that I start next week. She's been looking hard for jobs where me being trilingual would be useful, and she found one."

"That'll be a good start, then! What is it?"

He laughs, "It's at Hokkaido University, believe it or not. They have a language lab where students can go and listen to recordings of native speakers to help them with their pronunciation and stuff. Basically, I'll be recording a whole bunch of German for students to use."

"Oh, well that's cool! That might be kind of nice on your resume if you do decide to study linguistics."

Ai smiles at him, "He's more excited than you'd guess from him talking about it just now."

"Do I not seem excited?"

I laugh, "Do you ever?"

Ai winks at me and puts a hand on Carsten's thigh, "I've seen him excited many times. But it does take just the right situation."

I just woke up in my dorm room, with my cute girlfriend still snoozing next to me.

It's the last time we'll wake up here. We have a little bit of packing left to do. My mom and Shizuka helped a lot yesterday. The Yoshidas are coming by before the ceremony to load up all of our remaining stuff. That way, we can leave as soon as it's over.

I'll miss our dorm rooms, but I've already mourned them, so I'm not too broken up this morning. Plus, I have stuff to do, so it's hard to dwell on it very much right now.

I give Akari a little squeeze and say, "Kari…it's time to get up."

"Mmn…"

"We have to finish packing, remember?"

She stirs a little and without opening her eyes nuzzles into me and says, "Squeezing me like that is not that way to g-get me up. Makes me want to stay here forever."

I laugh and let go of her, "Okay. Want to get up now?"

She sighs and opens her eyes, "I guess so."

We both take showers and pack up our remaining things. Then the Yoshidas come by, and we help load up their car.

….

I'm sitting in front of a stage with everyone else from my year. My friends and family are somewhere in the bleachers. I look down at myself. This is the last time I'll be wearing this uniform.

The dean just finished speaking, but his words didn't really reach me. Now students are approaching the stage as their names are called.

This feels…surreal. Can my life really change so much in an instant? I mean, I've lived in this town my whole life. I've seen my mom almost every day of my entire life. That's all going to change today because of a piece of paper?

Someone's hand is on my shoulder, so I turn to the owner of that hand. It's my classmate Sakura. She whispers, "Kayoko, they called you. You're supposed to go up."

I laugh awkwardly and realize everyone to my right is gone. I thank my savior before going up on the stage, taking my diploma, shaking hands with the dean, posing for a picture, and leaving the stage.

I take a seat off to the side and watch friends and acquaintances do the same thing. I congratulate Carsten and Ai, and then before I know it Akari is crossing the stage and approaching me.

Is it all over just like that? It was kind of anticlimactic. I thought I'd feel different or something. I should feel different if everything's going to change, right?

Her smile turns to a frown when she gets close enough, "Are y-you okay?"

"Yeah, I think so. I feel…out of it. Like this is…a dream or something. But I'm okay."

She smiles and puts a hand on my arm, "I kinda know what y-you mean. Weird that this part of our lives is just…over all of a sudden."

"Yeah. Exactly. Ready to go?"

"Yoko…didn't you n-need to find Ms. Hamada?"

"Oh. Yeah. I need to return her book."

Akari nods, "It's with my stuff in the changing room. I'll go get it and then find you."

I scan the teachers, who are easy to spot because they aren't wearing uniforms, but I don't see her. Just as I'm about to give up on finding her, I hear, "Congratulations, Kayoko," in a very familiar voice.

I turn around and see exactly who I was looking for.

"Thank you, Ms. Hamada. Akari has your book in her bag. I'll go get it."

"Nope."

"What?"

"You're a smart girl, you know what 'nope' means."

"But you were only lending it to me…"

"Well, that was because you were a student, and I couldn't give you a gift. You're not a student anymore. So now, it's a graduation gift. I have a feeling you'll be needing it."

"But-"

She sighs in frustration, "Yes, Kayoko, it was kind of expensive. But you aren't giving it back. I won't let you. I'll have your mom mail it to you if you try to return it."

I smile, "Oh…well…thank you so much. For everything. The book, teaching me, helping me find my path. You were my favorite teacher."

She smiles back, "Well…I learned from the best, after all."

"Ms. Hamada…since I'm not a student now, there's something I have to ask."

She smiles, "Go ahead, and you can just call me Sanae now."

"Okay - Sanae, were you…into my dad?"

She blushes slightly, "That…was not the question I expected."

I laugh, "Well…people keep telling me how attractive he was, and I was just curious."

She grins, "I had a big crush on him, yes. Many students did. Back then he wasn't even that much older than his students. We were all disappointed he was married."

I laugh, "I wonder if Saki knew."

"I'm sure she had an idea. Of course, once we met her, and saw she was gorgeous, that made us even more jealous of her. I'm still a little jealous."

I giggle, "She was pretty."

"Your mom's gorgeous too. Not too surprising, given how your dad looked."

"Okay, I think I've reached my limit on talking about this."

She scoffs, "You asked, but…I suppose I went pretty far down the rabbit hole there, sorry."

She gently hugs me, and I hug her back. "Thank you, Kayoko. Teaching you would have been great, no matter what. You were an amazing student. But…teaching my mentor's daughter and helping her choose science…it's been the highlight of my professional life."

I start tearing up, because of course I do.

"Thank you, too. For everything."

…

After taking pictures with family and friends in front of the gate and saying our goodbyes, Akari and I get into the Yoshidas' car, and drive down the hill.

Mr. Yoshida says, "You two didn't want to stop anywhere on the way out of town, right? Straight to Tokyo?"

"W-wait! We have to stop by to see my mom and grandparents! I know I just saw them for pictures, but…'

Akari and her dad laugh and Mrs. Yoshida sighs, "He knows. Your mom made sure we would drop you off there for a bit. He's just being difficult."

"Yes, sorry Kayoko. I was just teasing."

"No…I'm sorry. I should have known. I'm a little on edge…having to say goodbye to everyone."

Akari smiles at me and squeezes my hand.

The Yoshidas stop at my mom's, and as we're getting out, Mrs. Yoshida says, "We'll be at the Shanghai, come let us know when you're ready. Take your time."

I'm more than a little surprised she said we could take our time. Needy as I am, I didn't plan on this being a long visit.

Akari and I join hands and go into the house, where we find my mom waiting with a smile on her face. When I see her, I sit down next to her, hug her, and in a childish voice I say, "I'm gonna miss you, mommy."

She hugs me back with a laugh, "Are you regressing? You haven't called me that in a long time."

I sigh, "Part of me wishes I could regress right now."

My mom strokes my hair a little and then says, "Let's go in the bedroom. I want to show you two something."

I release my mom and Akari uses her eyes to ask me what she wants to show us. But all I can do is shrug.

We follow my mom into her bedroom.

"You two sit on the bed."

We do as we're instructed. But then my mom doesn't do anything. She's wearing a conflicted expression and looks lost in thought.

"Mom? You're kind of scaring me."

She smiles, "Don't be scared. I have a very special graduation gift for you."

"You do?"

My mom nods and walks over to the dresser. She opens the top drawer that still has some of my dad's stuff in it. She pulls out a small box with an envelope attached to it.

"It's from your dad."

"It's…huh!?"

My mom laughs, "It wasn't intended as a graduation gift, exactly. That's why I was a little hesitant. I might be giving it to you a little earlier than he wanted. But I made an executive decision. I think it's the right time."

She removes the envelope from it and twirls it in her hand. I can see my name on it in my dad's handwriting.

"I told him to write this, since we didn't know when it would be the right time for you to receive this gift, and we knew his heart was…what it was. But now is a good time to give it to you." She smiles at Akari, "Since you have Akari. And…I wanted you to be able to hear from your dad today. B-because, he would be so proud of you, sweetie. I don't exactly know what he wrote, but knowing him, I'm sure it's sweet."

My mom hands me the box and the envelope. My hands are trembling as I remove the letter from the envelope. Akari gets close and puts her arms around me.

"I-I'm…gonna read it out loud. I think…we all want to hear it. And I'm less likely to cry. Maybe."

My mom nods and sits on the bed, putting her hand on my knee.

"Kayoko,

If you're reading this, it means I passed away before your mother and I thought it was the right time to give this to you. I'm disappointed I didn't live to see the day when you received this. But, even as I'm writing this, I'm very excited to know you'll be receiving it eventually.

Open the box before you read further."

"Can you open it, Kari? I d-don't want to let go of this letter. And I don't have two fully working hands anyway."

Akari nods and opens the box, revealing a gold ring with a modestly sized diamond on it. Between what my mom said, and what my dad has written so far…I know what this is.

Gotta keep it together. Have to make it through this letter. I have to finish before I let myself cry. This is probably the last time I'll ever hear from my dad, and I don't want to delay hearing everything he has to say. It's probably the last time for my mom too. So, I need to keep it together for both of us.

I take a deep breath and continue to read.

"This is the engagement ring I gave Saki. She asked me to keep it. For a long time, I didn't know what to do with it apart from keeping it as a memento. But just a few days ago, I realized that I wanted you to have it."

"You're 13, when I'm writing this, and a few days ago you told me how much you wish you could have met Saki. You told me you love her music and that you hope one day you can be like her."

"I know that you love Saki, even though you never knew her yourself. You have since you were a little girl. You probably know this by now, but I have never stopped loving her. It was important to me that she be as much a part of your life as possible. So, seeing your love for her has been one of the greatest joys of my life. I'm so happy you feel like she's part of you. And part of our family. So, I only think it's right that I give this to you."

"If you're receiving this, it must mean you're about to get engaged. And you're reading this with your future husband. If you're reading this letter, I almost certainly won't ever have met him. It makes me a little sad to think that. This part of the letter is to him-"

I turn to Akari and continue to read.

"Love and cherish Kayoko with everything you have. That's all you need to do to receive my approval."

Akari whimpers and starts to cry a little, so I take a moment to rub her back a little with my hand before continuing.

"I'm very happy that you have found love. It's a wonderful thing. I was lucky enough to find it twice in my life. I hope you'll consider wearing this ring once you're engaged. Think of it as a gift from both me and Saki. I apologize that the diamond is so tiny. But you have to remember I was only 18 and unemployed. This was the best me and my parents could do at the time. I'm pretty lucky Saki said yes to such a puny diamond, aren't I?"

I pause to laugh with my mom and Akari, before forging ahead.

"I know it's usually up to the guy to get the ring, but maybe your fiancé will be relieved that he doesn't have to. If the two of you want to, you can add some more stones to the ring. I wouldn't blame you. That way it would look less like it came from a vending machine. All I ask is that the original band and diamond still remain."

"Congratulations on your engagement, sweetie.

Love,

Dad"

After I finish the letter, I hold it to my chest and smile. Tears are running down my cheeks, but surprisingly, I'm not bawling. My mother and I exchange tearful smiles, as she appears to have had a similar reaction. The same can't be said of Akari. She's leaning into me and crying her eyes out. I put my arm around her and kiss the top of her head.

This is the first and only time she'll ever hear directly from my dad. There was even part of the letter that was for her.

In between sobs, she says, "I…wish…I…had…met…him…"

"Me too. He'd be pretty happy that one of us is doing music and the other is doing science. We're kind of like him and Saki in that way."

Akari sits up and wipes her tears. "I love your dad…even though I n-never met him. Like how you love Saki. I just…know him so w-well, through you two."

I smile and give Akari a quick kiss, "Yeah, it is like that. I'm glad you love him."

My mom adds, "Me too." She pauses for a moment and sighs, "Although, I kinda wish he were here so I could slap him for assuming you would be a guy."

Akari shrugs, "I'm not mad about it. People make assumptions. I m-mean…our first year and a half at Yamaku, even Yoko and I thought we'd end up with boys."

"Yeah, come on mom, be honest. Before Kari, when you thought about my future spouse, you assumed it would be a guy too. You were more than a little caught off guard when I told you I was in love with her."

My mom sighs, "You're right. I suppose I don't need to slap him."

Akari laughs, "Nope. And from what I know of Hisao…he w-wouldn't have had a problem with Kayoko being with a girl, right?"

My mom smiles and nods, "Right."

I smile at Akari, "Yep, he would be cool with it. After all, you're fulfilling the requirements he laid out in this letter."

Akari nods and smiles back.

"Well girls…are you ready?"

I stand up and pout at my mom as I fold up the letter and put the box in my pocket, "Trying to get rid of us already? Are you even gonna miss me?"

My mom laughs and hugs me, "Of course, sweetie. Just as much as you'll miss me. Maybe more. But I'm also very happy for you."

"I'm happy too. I know I can do it. But it will be hard without you. Expect me to be very needy via text and phone calls for a while. Ah, who am I kidding? It'll probably never stop."

My mom laughs, "That's okay with me."

Akari sniffles and says, "Um…I-I'm gonna miss you too."

My mom laughs and gestures for Akari to join us in a group hug. But I step away, because these two certainly deserve their own moment to say goodbye.

Akari hugs my mom and says, "Th-thank you, so much, Emi. Y-you…gave me a safe space that I needed, especially my first year. I d-don't think I could have made it without your help. A-and then…you've been so supportive of our relationship. Y-you…even forgave me and helped me after I really messed up. You're…all I could ever want in a mother-in-law."

"I was very happy to help you. You're a wonderful girl, with so much more strength and determination than you used to give yourself credit for. I'm also very happy you and Kayoko love each other and are building a life together. Seeing you two together has brought me so much happiness. I know…Hisao would be very happy that you'll be the one proposing to Kayoko with Saki's ring one day."

They break the hug and smile at each other.

Then my mom says, "Okay girls…we shouldn't keep Chiaki waiting too much longer. I know she told us to take our time, but…"

Akari laughs, "Yeah, w-we don't want her to be in a bad mood all four hours to Tokyo."

We leave my mom's room, give hugs to my grandparents, one last hug to my mom, and leave the house. I stop a few steps outside the front door and Akari takes a few steps before noticing. Then she turns to look at me with a raised eyebrow.

I wiggle my finger at her, "Come here."

She smiles and walks back to me and hugs me around my waist. I bend down and kiss her, while she puts her arms around my neck. We linger for a while, enjoying the warmth of one another's lips. At the end of the kiss, I shove the box with Saki's ring into her pocket, making her laugh.

"You hold on to that until it's time, okay?"

We hold hands and start walking towards the Shanghai and continue our conversation.

She clicks her tongue, "Oh, so I'm the one who will b-be proposing?"

I laugh, "We can propose to each other at the same time or something. But yes, I would like you to ask me to marry you with that ring." I give her hand a squeeze. "It's what my dad and Saki would want, after all."

She squeezes my hand back and flashes me her beautiful smile, "Well…I won't let them down."

Author's Note: All that's left now is an Epilogue!

I'm sitting in front of my dad's grave. Akari's sitting next to me with an arm around me.

Hi dad. Today's the 12th anniversary of your passing, so I'm paying you a visit.

I have Kari and mom with me today. Mom also brought her boyfriend, so try not to be jealous.

Just kidding, I know you wouldn't be. You just want her to be happy, and she is. They've been together a few years now, but this is the first year she's been comfortable bringing him here.

He's a really great guy and he seems to get that mom still loves you and all that. After all, he's here supporting her today, the same way mom helped you at Saki's grave. He's a retired university professor, a runner, and pretty good at chess. You would have liked him, even if he IS in the Humanities.

Kari is still in the Tokyo Philharmonic and still first chair, just as she has been for the last six years. As I always predicted, she's one of the best horn players in the world.

She's not only as talented as ever, she's also as loving and sweet to me as she always has been. It's funny, for a long time I wanted to be like Saki and have a music career. Things didn't really pan out that way for me. I fell in love with someone like her instead. I guess we both have a thing for musical geniuses, huh?

I'm still in university, but I'm FINALLY getting my PhD in the Spring. This year, my lab used gene editing to remove genetic mammary tumors from our laboratory rat population. It's a far cry from eliminating all genetic conditions in humans of course, but it's still a pretty big deal. I'm very happy with my work. Every day I'm helping science come one tiny step closer to making sure people like you, Saki, Kayoko, and Junichiro don't have to leave us so early.

My already steady stream of tears starts to intensify. Akari puts her other arm around me and rests her head on my shoulder, and I put my arm around her.

That brings me to the very, very, very sad news of the year. Three months ago, Junichiro decided it was his time to go. He was only 26. It has been very hard on me. He was like my little brother, and he was also my muse. It was beyond tough to say goodbye. I am very happy he isn't suffering anymore, but I really miss him.

It made me think of how hard that day with Saki must have been. I loved Junichiro of course, but not how I love Kari. You probably had the same mixed feelings I do, amplified by about a million. No wonder you felt broken for 6 years.

I wish you were here to talk to Chisa. They didn't get married like you and Saki did, but they were together until the end. Understandably, she's having a very hard time. She's been staying with us since it happened.

Okay, that's enough sad stuff for now. Let's end with some more positive stuff.

Mom will probably tell you she's hoping you'll have grandkids soon. She certainly doesn't shut up about it to me. I feel like you would be less intense about it. But just in case I'm wrong, I'll tell you what I tell her: You were 40 when you adopted me, give us some damn time. I'm still in school, after all.

Kari and I still aren't quite ready for kids, but we do talk about it a lot. We're planning to adopt. Perhaps even a child with a disability, like you and mom did. If we adopt a boy, we're thinking of naming him Junichiro. If it's a girl, we would go with Saki. I think you'd really like it if I had a daughter named Saki one day.

We're still close with Shizuka. We go over to her place for dinner once a week with her family. It's wild to think that her six-year-old son and four-year-old daughter are technically my brother and sister. They call Akari and I their aunts, which feels like it fits so much better.

Well dad, those are the big updates for the year. I have to get going because Akari and I have to go up the hill for something.

To sum up: We are doing great. I hope you and Saki are doing well too. Say hi to grandma and grandpa for me. I love you. I miss you.

I get out a handkerchief and wipe my tears, and hand it to Akari, who does the same.

She stands up and then gently helps me up. We spend some time hugging each other, then we hold hands and head for the cemetery exit. My mom and Hideo don't look like they are ready to go. But we told them we might have to leave early to make it to our meeting on time.

We get in our car and take the familiar drive up the hill.

"How are you feeling about this?"

"I'm…okay. Bittersweet, I guess. It's really amazing that he did this. It's exactly what he wanted and deserved. And I'm glad he saw it …but I wish we had seen it with him."

She reaches out and gives my hand a squeeze, "Me too. But at least your mom and Chisa saw it with him."

"Yeah, that's true. I wish our schedules didn't suck. We could have been here."

"Yeah. I know. But he would be glad we're going now."

"That's true."

When we reach the top of the hill and park, we see some very familiar figures getting out of their car. They wave to us, and we wave back as we find our own parking spot.

"Don't forget the flowers."

Akari scoffs as she reaches into the back seat to grab two small bouquets, "How could I? You've been obsessed with having flowers for the kids for weeks."

I sigh, "When we were kids, my aunt always made sure Daisuke and I had flowers at Saki's grave, and I always liked it. I know this isn't quite a grave, but…I thought they would like giving him some flowers."

Akari smiles, "Yes, I know the story. I'm just teasing. It was a good idea, Yoko." She gives me a quick kiss, hands me the bouquets and we get out of the car.

We wave to the two people we know so well from our time on this very campus who are now near the front gate. One of those figures is a tiny red-haired woman in a wheelchair. The other is a tall, thin blonde man. With them are their 10-year-old daughter Mako and 3-year-old son Shoichi.

I can tell that Ai wants to speed towards us, but having children has caused her to be less reckless. She doesn't really want Mako to follow her lead because it would be dangerous. So, she settles for a squeal of excitement instead.

Mako follows her mother's lead by jumping up and down and excitedly saying, "Auntie Akari and Kayoko! Auntie Akari and Kayoko! Auntie Akari and Kayoko!"

Mako inherited her father's blonde hair, light blue eyes, and fair skin and could easily be mistaken for someone with no Japanese blood if it weren't for her name and accent. She wears her hair in braided twin tails, and often wears headbands. Today she's wearing a pink one. One guess who got it for her.

Akari laughs and pats her on the head, "Hi Mako. Yoko has something for you."

Mako's eyes shift to me and then to the bouquets I'm holding, and she smiles.

I smile down at her, "Do you want to take some flowers to Junichiro?"

"Yeah!" She rushes toward me, and I hand her one of the bouquets. She gives me a quick side hug and bounds away with her flowers.

She met Junichiro a few times. That makes this a little different than I was with Saki. I wonder if she's upset? She certainly doesn't show it.

Meanwhile, Carsten is unsurprisingly more reserved, simply observing things with a smile on his face. He's holding Shoichi, who is asleep in his arms. Shoichi has his mother's red hair but has a personality more like Carsten's.

I notice Ai and Akari are sharing a little hug, so I walk over to my first Yamaku friend and give him and his son a little snuggle.

I whisper, "I'm glad you guys could come."

He nods and whispers, "We had to. He would be mad if we didn't."

I chuckle, "That's very true."

They never ended up being able to come to Tokyo and we still live very far apart from one another. Sapporo just ended up being more convenient. Carsten's first job after high school gave him connections in the linguistics program at the university, so that's where he ended up going after a gap year. He even got a scholarship, and not one that I secretly had set up. Now he has a job at a translation firm, and he loves it.

Ai started university last year and she's studying psychology like she always wanted. Just about a decade later than originally planned.

We have lived physically far apart for these 10 years, but we are still very close emotionally. Akari and Ai still text each other like they did in high school, we all video chat once a week, and we get together several times a year. Like today.

The gate creaks open, and then I hear a familiar voice say, "Fancy meetin' ya'll here." Chisa holds the gate open, inviting us in.

Our group enters the Yamaku campus. It's a Sunday morning so things are pretty quiet. It's the first time the five of us have all been here at the same time since we graduated.

Once on campus, I wrap Chisa in a very tight hug, which draws a strained protest out of her, "Kayoko…you saw me like an hour ago and ya hugged me then. Is this necessary?"

She came up here ahead of us while we were at the cemetery.

I sigh and break the hug, "I guess not. But…given what we are about to do, I thought you might want one."

She smiles, "Just admit that you want one." This draws a giggle from my wife.

I pout and outstretch my arms, "Fine, I want one."

Chisa hugs me and quietly says, "You're still a good senpai, you know…Lookin' after his girlfriend so well…"

I knew she wanted a hug. She just didn't want to admit it. Of course, I guess I did the same thing.

"Thank you…but we aren't just doing it for him, you know. We're doing it for you too."

She sniffles, "Yeah, I know. Shoot, I'm cryin' before you are. What's happenin' to me?"

I laugh, "Well, to be fair, I was just down the hill crying at my dad's grave, and I told him about Junichiro. So, I probably need to recharge a little before I can cry about it again."

She breaks the hug and wipes away her tears, "Y-yeah, that must be it."

An impatient Ai says, "Kayokoooo, move. Some of us don't get to see her all the time."

Oh, woops. I'm hogging her even though they haven't seen her in person since Junichiro passed.

I laugh awkwardly and step aside for Ai, who hugs Chisa. Carsten hands Shoichi to Akari and joins the hug. Then Mako does too. Akari and I exchange smiles as we watch the cute sight.

Eventually, their hug ends and with a tearful smile, Chisa says, "Well…let's go see it."

Carsten takes Shoichi back from Akari. Shoichi wakes up in the exchange and looks confused.

Carsten laughs, "Do you remember Aunt Kayoko and Akari?"

He stares at us blankly for a moment and then nods slowly.

I smile at him, "Do you want to hold on to these flowers?"

He gives me another sleepy nod, so I give them to him. Carsten puts him down and he runs ahead to his sister and mother.

Once that's all sorted out, Chisa guides us to the main quad, where we all used to have lunch together. But it's a little different now.

We gather around a plaque that says, "The Junichiro Ito Sculpture Garden."

Chisa reads it out loud for all of us, "Junichiro Ito is an alumnus of Yamaku University and a world-renowned sculptor whose work is on loan in museums throughout the world. His portrait sculptures focus on those with disabilities and their ability to pursue their passions no matter their limitations." She finishes reading and takes a deep breath and then smiles.

Ai says, "Mako, Sho-chan, why don't you put your flowers here, next to Junichiro's plaque?"

Mako nods, a somewhat somber look on her face. She places the flowers and then stands next to me quietly. Her little brother follows her lead.

"He was nice."

She does remember him. That makes it a little better in some ways…a little worse in others.

I put my hand on Mako's back, "He sure was."

Chisa smiles at her and says, "The nicest. Thank you for bringin' him flowers."

"You're welcome."

We all stand quietly for a little longer, staring at the plaque that commemorates our friend.

Chisa breaks the silence, "The plaque is nice. But he didn't make it. Let's go see the rest."

I join hands with Akari and Chisa, and we continue walking along the quad with the Leipzigers behind us. We all take our time, as we stop to admire our friend's amazing art.

All along the grass there are now a dozen bronzes from Junichiro's 'Perseverance' series. Each of them represents one of the clubs on campus. The sculpture of my hands for music club, my mom's legs for track club, Rin Tezuka's feet holding a paintbrush for art club, and many more.

We all take it in, largely in silence. Even the kids seem to have picked up on the mood. That silence is partly a product of sadness, but I know we're all very happy for him. And in awe of him too.

I had heard about all this. And I'd even seen pictures. But seeing it all myself is…overwhelming in the best way. He didn't have as much time with us as he should have. But he did exactly what he wanted to with the time he was given. He left his mark. And he did it in such a beautiful way. No one will ever forget him. Students and faculty walking on campus will see his work every single day, and that's without mentioning the impact of his sculptures elsewhere.

When we reach the end, the two kids start running around in the grass. Clearly, they had some pent-up energy from being so well-behaved during our procession.

I turn to a smiling Chisa and say, "This…this is beautiful. I'm so happy people will always know who he was. Everyone will always know how great he was."

She nods, "I get a funny feelin' every time I see one of his sculptures. There's sadness…but it really gets drowned out by joy." She outstretches her arms, "He did all this. And he was so happy when he was doin' it. And his art makes other people happy too. Includin' me. There's really…no greater gift he could have left behind for me." She chuckles, "Or the world. It isn't all about me, I guess."

Akari says, "It is amazing that he just…made these. That he could just do that. I don't know, maybe it sounds dumb."

Chisa laughs, "It's not. He had a lot of talent in those hands. I started falling in love with him when we did sculpture in art club because of those hands. I mean, he was pretty good at piano too even if he didn't pursue it as his main focus." She smiles, "His hands were just…magical."

Ai grins and says, "I bet they were magical."

This draws a groan out of me and Carsten while Ai and Akari giggle together. Chisa blushes and looks down.

I sigh, "Well, leave it to Ai to turn such a touching moment into an off-color joke."

Chisa laughs, "It's okay. He used to have such a hard time with those kinds of jokes, but eventually he made them himself sometimes. So…I think it's just the right thing to say when we're all here rememberin' him. At least…it's the right thing for Ai to say."

"See? Chisa gets it. Junichiro would expect nothing less from me."

Suddenly Mako comes running over and says, "I didn't get your joke, mommy. Why were his hands funny?"

Carsten laughs, "Kids are always listening, babe. Even when you don't think they are."

Now Ai's face turns red and the rest of us laugh at her blunder.

She smiles at her daughter and says, "Mako, do you know where we're going after this?"

She smiles, "The Shanghai?"

"That's right, isn't that exciting?!"

"Yeah, it is! Can I have strawberry cake?"

"You bet. Now run along and fetch your brother and we can get going."

Akari laughs, "That was impressive. You can tell you have lots of experience digging yourself out of that particular hole."

"Damn straight."

Carsten sighs, "Of course, not getting yourself stuck in the hole in the first place will be better."

We start walking back to the campus gate, but I notice that Chisa hasn't followed. I go back to her, "Not ready to leave yet?"

She shakes her head, "You guys go on ahead. I'll catch up."

"Actually…this gives me an idea. Wait here."

She gives me a confused look and I walk back to the others.

"We should eat here."

Akari's eyebrows shoot up, "Huh? I don't think the cafeteria is open. Also, not sure I could go back to eating that 'food' even if it was."

I laugh, "No. I mean…go pick up food from the Shanghai and bring it back here."

My friends all nod, understanding my intention. Akari and Carsten leave to pick up the food, while the rest of us stay out on the quad. We chat some more about Junichiro and his art while we watch the kids play.

When Carsten and Akari return with the food, we spread out a blanket for a picnic on a very familiar patch of grass, with Junichiro's sculptures all around us. The six of us have one last lunch together at Yamaku.

FIN

Author's Note: That marks the end of Yamaku: The Next Generation! I hope you enjoyed reading about Kayoko's journey. At some point, I may do a shorter series with Junichiro as the POV character, but this will be the end of this series for the foreseeable future.

All good stories are bound to end.

This was a very good story. I hope it draws more attention from readers since now it's complete. I read a lot of KS fanfiction (maybe, an entirety of this forum section that worth reading), and this is one of the best stories I've read here. Thank you.

Also, you really are a sentinel typewriter: pulling two long stories in half a year as in impressive feat.

There is also a good potential for one shots left for you or someone else to fill. For example, how the Kari and Yoko marriage looked like? Hope one day we'll find out.

Thank you again and I hope I'll read more from you in the future.

hdkv wrote: ↑Sun Feb 11, 2024 1:04 pm

All good stories are bound to end.

This was a very good story. I hope it draws more attention from readers since now it's complete. I read a lot of KS fanfiction (maybe, an entirety of this forum section that worth reading), and this is one of the best stories I've read here. Thank you.

Also, you really are a sentinel typewriter: pulling two long stories in half a year as in impressive feat.

There is also a good potential for one shots left for you or someone else to fill. For example, how the Kari and Yoko marriage looked like? Hope one day we'll find out.

Thank you again and I hope I'll read more from you in the future.

Thank you for the praise!

There are lots of amazing stories on this forum, so that means a lot. I don't really think this story compares to some of the masterpieces that inspired me, but I hope it brings people some joy. And some tears too.

And you're right, there may be some one-shot stories worth telling.

Congratulations on completing the story! It was quite the ride. I don't think I've ever seen anyone post such a long story in such a short timeframe - and this high quality at that.

A story with Junichiro as the protagonist might be... depressing...

Also here my final two annotations

She just saw the photo of Akari and I at Saki's exhibit

"of Akari and me"

They call Akari and I their aunts

"Akari and me"

Mirage_GSM wrote: ↑Tue Feb 20, 2024 10:54 am

Congratulations on completing the story! It was quite the ride. I don't think I've ever seen anyone post such a long story in such a short timeframe - and this high quality at that.

A story with Junichiro as the protagonist might be... depressing...

Also here my final two annotations

She just saw the photo of Akari and I at Saki's exhibit

"of Akari and me"

They call Akari and I their aunts

"Akari and me"

Thanks for the kind words!

At some point I need to go back through and fix all the spelling and grammar you pointed out in your replies X_X.

As the previous holder of the "Sentient Typewriter" moniker, I'm more than happy to see another with such a passion for their stories like you, Guthrum. Congrats on completing this saga and I look forward to what you do next!