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Re: Flutter - Level Eight: Heart Piece [29/3/16]

Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 5:20 pm
by swampie2
Sharp-O wrote:"...a chatty blonde who spends half her time with a dick in her mouth.”
Isn't Saki make of paper? Don't be too rough or you'll ruin it for everyone. :lol:

As always, moe as ever, keep it up.

Re: Flutter - Level Eight: Heart Piece [29/3/16]

Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2016 5:55 am
by Dash9
So, I finally slept, then read Monomyth, and Cordially Invited, and Miraimyth, and even Swampie's 'Shizune In The Snow' series. I'm also current on this one and on Snowblind. So now that I'm properly caught up...I guess I'll have to just sit and pummel my f5 key till you update again?

By the way, I vaguely remember you worrying about people getting bored because you wrote too much in the monomyth world or something to that effect (I read all the stories, but didn't really read the comments). I get not wanting to overdo it, but considering I spent about a day and a half doing little other than reading your stories, and yet I'm still feeling horribly impatient about the wait for the next chapter of whatever you choose to write, I don't think you should worry about that too much.

Finally, I'd like to thank you for making your stories, for the most part, happy. Not that they don't have their dramatic bits, but just overall, you're left smiling at the end. except for a certain character's heart-breaking fate, I prefer Swampie's version of that character's future, no offense. I mean c'mon, there's plenty of loss and sadness and other manly-tear inducing events available in Brythain's After the Dream mosaic if we want such things. There needs to be much more joy and rainbows to counter balance all THAT out. (Speaking of which, I still need to sift through it all again to find all the interludes because they aren't listed in the indexes...unless Brythain feels like helping a guy out. *stares at Brythain pointedly*)

As always, thanks again for sharing this with us.

P.S. I almost forgot why I posted this in this thread to begin with. After reading what seems to be the majority of your work posted here, I still think the 'Ghost'Rika/Kenjiscene here takes the cake for most people in my vicinity disturbed by me laughing like a maniac when I first read it. That moment was described so well, and I could visualize her having a giggle-fit in the hallway so clearly, that it left ME having a giggle-fit in my chair (and getting tons of looks until I realized I was, indeed, in public). That said, I'm pretty sure I could be heard through the walls when I read about Hanako's first newspaper club meeting in Monomyth. Thankfully it was late and there were probably only a few people left in the office-building by then. :lol:

Re: Flutter - Level Eight: Heart Piece [29/3/16]

Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2016 9:29 am
by Sharp-O
Dash9 wrote:So, I finally slept, then read Monomyth, and Cordially Invited, and Miraimyth, and even Swampie's 'Shizune In The Snow' series. I'm also current on this one and on Snowblind. So now that I'm properly caught up...I guess I'll have to just sit and pummel my f5 key till you update again?
Daaaaamn, Dashiel!, you are a trooper. That is a lot of BS to work your way through and I am incredibly humbled that you took a day and a half to read my goofy-ass stories. :o

I'm super-glad that you enjoyed the Myth ride and that you're digging Flutter too and I'm currently working on the next chapter so don't worry about that. I appreciate that some people won't like some of my work because it's not real enough but my mission statement has always been to just present as fun and as interesting a story as I can. I'll openly admit that the way I write the KS-verse is anime as balls but why wouldn't it be?

This is a universe with colourful, bombastic, and downright adorable characters and I don't feel that bogging them down with neuroses and tragedy is the way to play it. Granted, there should be an element of that but it's like... Hanako's scars and tragic backstory aren't her defining traits; its her resolve in spite of them. Despite everything she's gone through; she's just an average girl. Very shy and a little socially awkward but I believe she's much stronger than many characters (including herself) and writers give her credit for and I wanted to show that, hence her relationship with classmate Akio; someone who would challenge her rather than coddle her.

Anyway, went off on a tangent there but regardless; as long as people enjoy what I write, I'll do my best keep it entertaining. Thanks again, Dash! :D

Re: Flutter - Level Eight: Heart Piece [29/3/16]

Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2016 1:33 pm
by Dash9
Sharp-O wrote:<snip> my mission statement has always been to just present as fun and as interesting a story as I can. <more snip> This is a universe with colourful, bombastic, and downright adorable characters and I don't feel that bogging them down with neuroses and tragedy is the way to play it.

This, I think, is one of the things I love about your overall writing style. Hence my displeasure at Hisao's fate in your myth series. I get why other people give him a shorter lifespan, but I don't get why YOU decided to write in that loss (that loss doesn't seem to have spurred any huge change of direction in the Myth universe either) I'd actually love to discuss it with you further, but perhaps this thread isn't the best place for that. Perhaps on the monomyth page, or via PM? (although, I'm loathe to distract you from your work on Flutter or Snowblind)
<snip> her relationship with classmate Akio; someone who would challenge her rather than coddle her.
I wholeheartedly agreed with this, and while some other writers have emphasized Hanako's personal strength through adversity, the way you did it with that relationship was unusual/unique and I actually did find it quite believable. In the original VN one of the main points in her storyline was that she wanted to be treated as an equal and challenged, rather than coddled and accommodated. And she goes to great lengths to get that equality from Hisao near the end of her route.

I'm super-glad that you enjoyed the Myth ride and that you're digging Flutter too and I'm currently working on the next chapter so don't worry about that.
I'm not sure if you're aware, but you seem to have a reputation for an absurdly speedy update schedule. I'm not worried in the slightest. (but I can still barely contain my excitement for the next chapter, sorry f5 key) =)
<snip> as long as people enjoy what I write, I'll do my best keep it entertaining. Thanks again, Dash! :D
We do enjoy it, so keep up the good work! You're very welcome. =)

--Dash

Re: Flutter - Level Eight: Heart Piece [29/3/16]

Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2016 3:34 pm
by Sharp-O
I'll shoot you a PM about Hisao but I'm fully aware of my reputation as a rapid-fire writer (for good or ill) but between my current second job and my own newfound illness, updates have slowed significantly. Fear not, I've only ever abandoned one long-form story thus far so Flutter will see a conclusion, just not as rapidly as Monomyth. Snowblind will be drawing to a close soon as I (as well as Swampie, no doubt) only intended for it to be a quick little aside to build on a few outstanding plot points.

Flutter - Level Nine: Temperance Arcana [8/4/16]

Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2016 7:44 pm
by Sharp-O

The digitized squawking erupting from my alarm clock quietens as it’s thrown across the room in my half-sleeping stupor. I was aiming for the hamper but it bounces off the rim, rocking it slightly.

My tired groan isn’t even loud enough to urge my body upright to fetch the chirping clock before the hamper topples over, the contents spilling all over the floor and the alarm clock, muffling the sound until it dies off itself.

I smile as I close my eyes again and stretch out my body; turning both my pillow and duvet to the cooler sides before cocooning myself up again. Is there a better feeling in the world than knowing you have an entire day free and you start that day with cool sheets?

If there is, I can’t think of it right now.

Hang on… Something’s missing

I bolt upright and instantly regret it, my shoulders feeling pretty sore… Ow. I peer around my room and find it vacant. I swear there was a cute boy in here last time I checked…

I rub my face and check again. How out of it was I last night? I remember getting back. Then Hisao showed up. He opened up about his heart condition and we cuddled and there was a unicorn… Okay, that last part was probably a dream but I swear the rest happened.

He must have gone back to the boys’ dorms after I fell asleep. I flop down on my back, kinda sad that Hisao didn’t stay. Cuddling and cold sheets? That would be perfection.

I slap my hand around backwards on top my headboard before I feel the familiar shape of my phone. I pull it down to me and flip it open, intent on letting Fuuka know I’ll be out today. I’ll need today’s worksheets and probably some lunch too.

Knock-knock

Huh? “C-come in?” I ease myself up gingerly as the door slides open and Fuuka’s bright smile fills the room.

“Gooood morning, Rika! How’re you feeling?” She cheers and I furrow my brow. She’s usually not this chipper in the morning. Hell, I have to get her out of bed…

“I’m alright. I had a bit of a flutter yesterday so I’m not going to class today. There’s a note for the teachers on the table if you don’t mind taking it in…” I explain as Fuuka creeps towards me, still all smiles. Why do I feel like I’m about to be murdered?

“Sure thing. I heard about yesterday from Molly, I’m glad you’re okay.” Fuuka says, stopping at my bedside after picking up the note. She leans on the left arm rest, chin resting on her palm. “I also stopped by last night… Saw that you were being well taken care of…”

“Wh-wh-what do you mean?” I stammer as her smile becomes more sultry.

“You know what I mean, Rika! Cuddling up with Hisao in your nightdress… You naughty girl!” She cackles maniacally as I pout at her.

“N-nothing happened! I was just high on painkillers and felt sleepy!” I respond, my pale skin becoming pinker by the second as Fuuka continues to tease me with suggestive eyebrow waggles.

“Oh, I saw! Not sleepy enough to chew me out for ‘interrupting your Special Hisao Time’ though! You should have seen the poor guy’s face after you said that and basically clambered into his lap; he didn’t know what to say!”

“That… That didn’t happen…”

“Suuuuure it didn’t,” She winks, turning on the spot to face the door. “I’ll let the teachers know you’ll be out for today. I’ll come by with some food at lunch time too. God knows you shouldn’t be surviving on sugary snacks alone in your state.” She smirks in direction and I fold my arms indignantly at her.

“I can try…”


The day passes painfully slow. After a couple more hours sleep, what little homework I had to do got done an hour before the lunch bell is due to ring, leaving me at a bit of a loss at what to do after Fuuka arrived with food.

Fuuka’s teasing didn’t continue into lunch, which was odd. In fact, it was almost like she was avoiding the subject of Hisao all together. She talks about our classmates, how she struggled with Math without my help and even chatting with Molly before coming here.

“Did you happen to see Hisao?” I ask as casually as I can, watching her face for any kind of flinch but she just continues munching on her curry bread.

“Nope, but…” She pauses, swallowing her lunch before wincing slightly. “Molly said that Hisao was acting… weird.” Weird? Why would he…?

“Weird how?”

“Dunno. Stand-offish, I guess? Like he didn’t really want to talk to anyone. She swears that Hair-Drills Girl tried to crack a joke and he shut her down with a look.” It says something when Fuuka looks a little concerned and I think I get why she hasn’t teased me about him since this morning.

“You don’t think it’s because of something I did, do you?” I ask and Fuuka shakes her head.

“I’m just hoping it’s not something I said… I kinda-sorta, as a joke, suggested he was going to take advantage of you. Not that I think he actually would, that’s why I laughed but he did turn red, sooooo…”

For fuck’s sake, Fuuka…” I quietly curse my friend out, which seems to shock her, bringing my palm to my face.

“I wasn’t being serious! I thought he’d have gotten my sense of humour by now!” She exclaims.

“Yeah, me too…” I sigh, slumping forward in my cross-legged sitting position. “I’ll… go see how he is later on. Give him some time to cool off, maybe?” I shrug, unsure of how to even approach this situation.

“Sorry, Rika…” Fuuka purses her lips with a look of guilt plastered across her face. I don’t want to blame her for what’s happened but I can’t help but feel a little resentment. Things were going good between me and Hisao too…

“S’okay. I’ll sort it out; don’t worry.” I smile to reassure her.

And myself.


I spend the hours before the end of day bell rings either pacing back and forth or playing on my DS. I felt like I needed to do something with my hands other than fidget… Making cute digital animals hurt each other is as good a distraction as any…

Before the end of day bell rings, I take the time to shower, put on something other than my nightgown and braid my hair before I head over to the boys’ dorm.

What am I even going to say to him? Do I apologise for Fuuka and her big mouth? Do I apologise for being in such a state last night? Would kissing him again improve the situation or is that just something I want to do in general? Ugh, so many questions.

And not nearly enough time as it turns out when I find myself in front of Hisao’s door.

Tap-tap-tap “Hisao?”

The seconds tick by silently as I rock back and forth on my heels. I look up and down the eerily quiet hall before knocking again.

“Hisao? It’s Rika.” I say and, just to see, I give his door handle a little tug. It’s locked. Hmmph. I guess he’s out with his friends?

I give his neighbour’s door a glance as I pass it. Hisao told me a little about him, mainly that he’s a shut-in weirdo who doesn’t like girls. Nah, I better not knock. Might think the ‘ghost’ has come to get him.

I almost reach the stairwell when the elevator doors open and reveal Hisao. He looks almost as surprised as I am for a split second before his face returns to the sullen expression he wore a few seconds before.

“Oh… hey, Rika. How are you feeling today?” His monotone voice weirds me out. He looks and sounds exhausted and he shuffles towards me, barely looking me in the eye.

“H-hey, senpai… I’m better, thanks. I was just looking for you!” I chuckle nervously and turn to keep pace as he almost moves straight past me without stopping.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I, um, wanted to talk to you about last night. If you’re up for it that is. No p-pressure or anything but I wanted to apologise…”

What?” He shoots me an annoyed look and that’s when I start to worry.

“W-well because of what Fuuka said and because I was high on painkillers and may have d-d-done something embarrassing and-and-” I stammer in my rush to explain while Hisao pinches the bridge of his nose.

“It’s fine. Can we talk later though? I have something I need to take care of and I need to focus.” His voice is cold and tired and very unlike the Hisao I know. So much so that it makes me stop in my tracks.

“Oh, okay.” I meekly say, rubbing my arm awkwardly. “I guess I’ll see you later.”

He nods and disappears into his room without another word, leaving me alone in a silent hallway once more. Okay, things must be really messed up between us if he’s acting so… distant.

Crapbaskets.”


I never called for Fuuka when I got back. I just slunk back into my room and wrapped myself in my duvet, switching on the TV just to distract me. I don’t know how much time passes exactly but I think three, maybe four, shows had been on before I hear a knock at the door.

“Come in.” I yawn and the door slides open. I shift the thick sheet to give me a better look at my guest. “Hey, Hisao.” I let my eyes wander back to the screen as he enters.

“Hey… I’m, uh, not interrupting your favourite show or anything, am I?” He asks and I shake my head, the duvet ruffling side to side with me. He moves around me and plants himself on the edge of my stripped bed. “Are-Are you angry with me?”

“What?!” I look at him dumbfounded and he can only respond sheepishly, tugging at his already loose tie as he casts his gaze downward. “I thought you were angry at me for what happened last night!” I exclaim and his head bolts upright with an incredulous look.

“Why the hell would I be angry with you?”

“Because Fuuka and me being high and climbing on you and--”

“Wait, hold up, you think I’d be angry because of that?” His face creases and he begins to laugh, his head falling into his hands resting on his knees. Oooookay, I’m clearly missing something here…

“Oh, man… I really, really, needed that…” He says with a wide grin, brushing his hair back. “I’m not going to get pissy at Fuuka’s jokes! I mean, you’ve met Akio, right?” He chuckles further and I reposition myself to be sitting on my knees, though I’m still shrouded in my bed sheet.

“But what about… the other stuff…” I feel my cheeks burn as Hisao’s face softens to the sincere smile that makes me melt.

“Rika. Do I seem like the kind of guy who would be offended by cuddling?”

“N-no, I guess not…”

“And I know you were pretty out of it so I’m certainly not going to hold you being affectionately silly while doped up on medication. If anything… I thought it was pretty… Cute.” He blushes and I just stare like a freak. He said I’m cute! Heeeeheee!

“But Molly said you were a bit out of sorts today and after seeing you earlier…”

“Ah,” He nods, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, that’s… I’m sorry if I was weird earlier… I got something last night that I wasn’t really expecting and it kinda put me in a shitty mood…”

He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out what looks an envelope. It’s decorated so it couldn’t be a medical thing… He frowns at it before waving it in one hand.

“It’s, ah, it’s from Iwanako. Y’know, the girl I told you about?” Ah, the sorta-ex.

“What’s it say? If… If you don’t mind me asking.” Hisao holds it in both hands, like a precious heirloom — but one that might explode given the look he’s giving it. He goes to open his mouth several times but can’t quite seem to find the words. He sighs heavily and holds the letter out.

Silently, and carefully, I pluck the letter out of his grasp. He flops backwards onto my bed as I open it up and begin reading…

Neat handwriting, pretty stationary… Fairly standard opening… Okay, this is getting pretty ramble-y now… I roll my eyes when she starts talking about first-years.

“Skip to the end I say melodically, earning a small chuckle from the still prone Hisao. I can’t think that this girl, so obsessed with such fascinating subjects as exams and teachers would have anything astounding to sa--

I wonder if we will meet again. Perhaps it's for the best if we don't?
Still, if you would like to correspond with me, by all means write me back.
I'd very much like to hear about your new school and how you are doing.
I wish you all the best.

“Whoa…” I mutter, wide-eyed at the words this… this… “Bitch!”

“Ha!” Hisao offers, almost bitterly, while still not moving. I throw the blanket off me and rise to my feet, beginning a frantic pace towards and away from Hisao.

“I mean; what the actual hell? This is the best she could write? A rambling Dear John full of shitty platitudes? And what’s with this ‘wishing I had said something’ bullshit! She can’t just give you a little bit of hope like that and then just… just…” I am seething with rage. How… dare she!

“Whoa, Rika! Seriously, there’s no need to get so worked up.” Hisao tries to placate me but I’m already fired up.

“You did! It pissed you off! And so it should!”

“Yeah but, please, just calm down okay? It’s not worth having a, y’know, about it. It’s just some dumb letter.” Just a dumb letter? Oh no… This is kicking a man while he’s down! It’s not for his benefit; it’s for hers! It’s… It’s…

Selfish. Just like that motherfucker Shoji!” My fists clench tight, crumpling the paper within my grasp as my teeth gnash. I’m just about to launch into a fresh round of curses when my heel turn is met with a warm embrace and a faintest hint of musk.

“Chill out! Geez, Rika, you don’t have to go berserker mode or anything…” Hisao whispers, holding me tight in place by the shoulders. “Heh. I thought I was the one in need of a hug but looks like you need one more.”

I drop the paper in my hand and wrap my hands around his torso, resting my head on his shoulder. “S-sorry. I j-just… I just remembered something I’d rather forget all together and that letter was so awful and god, you smell really good.” I admit in a ramble and he chuckles. That makes me smile.

We stand for a while, though I think it’s more my vice-like grip keeping us together after a certain point.

“You okay now?” Hisao asks and I nod, finally freeing the poor boy. I step back, a fresh flood of embarrassment washing over me as Hisao rubs the back of his neck. “So, uh, I guess this Shoji guy is your ex?”

I breath a weary sigh and nod, shuffling past Hisao to my bed. I drop to my knees and reach under it, fishing out an old, tattered shoebox. “It’s a long story…” I say, lifting myself onto the bed and neatly placing the box on my lap. Hisao sits cautiously beside me as I lift the lid. It’s full of old trinkets and manuals and cartridges but after sifting through the contents, I find what I want to show Hisao — even if I don’t want to see it myself.

I pull out an old, sun-faded photograph in a cute white frame and hold it toward Hisao; his shoulders pressed against mine as he curiously tilts his head at the window into my past.

Image

“So this is him?”

“Yup. Like I said, it’s a loooong story.” I say quietly, a twinge of sadness in my voice as I look at a much younger, less experienced me.

“Well, I’m not going anywhere.” Hisao responds, his hand rubbing my right shoulder as he looks expectantly at me.

Okay. Here goes.


Previous Level <---> Next Level


Re: Flutter - Level Nine: Temperance Arcana [8/4/16]

Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2016 2:04 am
by Dash9
“So, uh, I guess this Shoji guy is youR ex?”
Typo?
Special Hisao Time
:lol: Please let there be a Special Rika Time in the future, this is too cute.
“Rika. Do I seem like the kind of guy who would be offended by cuddling?”
Seriously, there are people like that?? :shock:
[Picture]
Eeeeee, why is she so CUTE!?
“Well, I’m not going anywhere.”
Me neither, please continue. :D

Good chapter, though after reading Monomyth in one sitting, even your absurdly speedy updates feel like an agonizingly long wait. One question though; why does Hisao seem slightly hostile after he gets the letter? If memory serves, in the VN he gets very introspective and spaces out. He gets stressed and has a flutter during a rooftop lunch as well, but he seemed rather dismissive towards Rika when he ran into her in the hallway. Any particular reason why, or just had to move things along somehow?

As always, thanks for sharing,
--Dash

Re: Flutter - Level Nine: Temperance Arcana [8/4/16]

Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2016 5:59 am
by Mirage_GSM
Knock-knock

...

Tap-tap-tap
Really?
“I wasn’t being serious! I thought he’d have gotten my sense of humour by now!” She exclaims.
Actually Hisao's own friends have a much higher propensity for that kind of humour, so, yes, he should...
He looks almost as surprised as me
"As surprised as I"

Nice chapter again, but Hisao's bad temper struck me as a bit too much as well...

Re: Flutter - Level Nine: Temperance Arcana [8/4/16]

Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2016 9:22 am
by TubaMirum
This is getting me on the edge of my seat right here! I like the idea of mirroring their situations, since that's kind of why Rika had so much character and route potential, but I'm sincerely hoping we're not about to get Iwanako 2.0 over here as the background.

I'm not really worried about that much though.

Your writing is always a charm, and as always Fuuka is my favorite :D

Re: Flutter - Level Nine: Temperance Arcana [8/4/16]

Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2016 9:26 am
by Ommadawn
I'm absolutely loving this take on Rika! Sharpo, you're the man. :mrgreen:

Flutter - Level Ten: Shadow of Memories [24/4/16]

Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2016 10:02 pm
by Sharp-O
“I guess I should start from the beginning.” I sigh, sliding backwards on my bed until my back rests against the wall. Hisao follows suit, intent on listening to my sorry tale of heart break. The irony.

“Around three years ago, I was in the hospital recovering from a bidirectional Glenn procedure; basically the second stage of fixing my heart. Usually they do it much earlier, when you’re a baby, but… Heh, I guess I must have been a real bitch in my previous life because a damaged heart and skin as white as snow wasn’t enough - I had to have haemophilia as well.” I chuckle dryly.

“Because of that, my treatment has been delayed a fair bit; it’s waaay more dangerous to be in surgery for six hours when your blood drains like a fire hose. So yeah, second procedure at fourteen. I don’t remember a time when I ever felt so weak and helpless.” Hisao looks at me glumly and I pat his leg.

“I’m thankful my mom brought in my games since I was going to be in there for a while. I don’t think I could read like you did, you big nerd.” I poke at him playfully, since I don’t want to bum him out too much.

“Says the gamer girl.” He jabs back.

“But yeah, the first week went by alright but it was around week three when cabin fever started setting in. You can only play so much Pokémon, am I right?” Hisao looks at me and shrugs.

“I was more of a Digimon-kid, sorry.” He apologises with a goofy expression. Geez… If this is going to work, you need to rethink that stance, senpai.

“Anyway, I was bored out of my mind! But one day, as I was making my way back to my room from the bathroom, something caught my eye. It was on the general side of the Children’s ward, where the kids with less serious conditions are. There was some kid, some guy, wandering around the beds and picking up the clipboard notes at the end of the beds.” I smile a little, reliving the moment as I tell it.

I crept to the doorway that lead into the ward, eight beds lined each wall opposite each other. Ten were occupied but only nine had their patients in them. A solitary boy — almost as pale as me, dragging around an IV stand — stood at the foot of another patient’s bed, looking at his chart.

“Aww man, it does not look good for you, Hoshino.” He said with only a mild tone of concern, an unimpressed look on his face as he flipped the chart over.

“Wh-what? Whaddaya mean, man? What’s it say?” The scruffier looking kid in the bed asked frantically, pleading with his eyes.

“Yup, looks like we’re going to have to get you spayed. For the sake of future generations.” He responded, a comical lilt in his voice which caused the other kids to laugh.

“You best stop screwing with me, Shoji! I’ll bust your face!” Hoshino growled, folding his arms in a sulk.

“It‘s just a joke, man!” Shoji, the boy with the chart, grinned cheekily. “Though, you’re looking a little anaemic… You need some more iron in your diet; but it’s your lucky day! I hear from the nurses that there’s gonna be sukiyaki tonight and beef’ll fix that iron intake right up!”

Shoji put the clipboard and down and trundled his IV to the next bed which contained a brown-haired girl, noticeably older than him. She looked glumly at Shoji as he picked up her clipboard having a quick skim of the notes.

“How’s my favourite girl this afternoon, Mikado?” He asked with a smile but she merely pouted, turning her head to the side but unlike the previous interaction with Hoshino, he seemed to be gentler. “Right, tonsillectomy, sorry. Must be killing you not being able to talk, huh?”

She nodded in response and he chuckled. He put clipboard down and smirked. “Don’t worry, that nurse in the glasses that you like so much will be around later.”

The Mikado girl turned a violent shade of pink and buried her head in her covers from the embarrassment as the boy chuckled. He was stopped in his tracks by a nurse breezing past me and clasping a hand on his shoulder.

“Mr Kano! What have I told you about terrorising the other patients? You shouldn’t be out of bed either.” She lightly scolded and he groaned.

“But I’m bored! C’mon, Nurse Otaki, can’t I be transferred to this ward with the other kids?”

“You know you can’t.” She said quietly, matter of factly, and in a rather sad way that seemingly spread to Shoji. He lowered his head in defeat.

“Alright… Hope to see you guys soon.” He turned and said to the ward’s inhabitants and got a smattering of goodbyes back as he was escorted to the door. He looked at me with small smile as he was ushered down the hall, the nurse turning to me to order me back to my room as well.


“He sounds like a funny guy.” Hisao interrupts and I nod. He was…

“Wow. I, uh… Yeah, I can’t make fun out of this. This just sucks. Sorry, Katayama, but I’m glad you’re feeling better. Hopefully you’ll have colour back in your cheeks in no… time.” Shoji slowed to a quiet stop as he read my chart after sneaking into my room. “Albino. Huh. Well, I’m just going to put this down before I make more of a jackass out of myself…” His crooked, embarrassed smile making me giggle as I drew my kness up to my chest.

“It’s okay. My mom says I’m pretty unique.”

“Cursed is probably the word I’d use but yeah, unique works too. And pretty.” He laughed, sitting on the edge of my bed. It was the first time someone I wasn’t related to, a boy, said I was pretty. While I tried to calm my heart down, we talked about how bored we both were and the games I had with me. It wasn’t long before the nurses noticed he’d gone walkabouts and took him back to his room but we’d meet again tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after.


“He would always find his way onto the ward to do his 'rounds' and I would join him. Playing doctor—” Hisao’s childish snickering draws me out of the story somewhat and I glare at him.

“Sorry! Spending too much time with Akio has made me acutely aware of innuendo.” He apologises, scratching his cheek.

“Well… You’re not far wrong…” I tease coyly and his eyes widen. “I’m kidding, Hisao! I’m a good girl at heart.” It’s just my thoughts that can be dirty sometimes. I’ve spent a lot of my time this trimester alone with you; how could they not be?

“But yeah, we’d hang around each other a lot, as the faces in the beds changed and the days slowly passed. I’d get gradually stronger and Shoji would become weaker, frailer. He’d complain of dizziness and headaches and even fainted once. He made jokes about it, always with a smile but his eyes would glaze over sometimes and he’d be silent for minutes at a time before snapping right back into his happy-go-lucky attitude.” I see Hisao’s face drop a little. He can probably guess how this will go but I continue anyway, focusing less on interactions and more on the broad strokes. For his sake, honestly.

I doubt he really needs a day-by-day recounting of my hospital stay; especially considering his own was so awful.

“The hospital had a surprisingly lush garden at it’s rear with a large pond, which I thought was odd at the time but in hindsight made sense. That’s where the picture was taken by my mom. It wasn’t until later that I learned that as well as the general wing of the hospital, it was also a hospice. Palliative care for the terminally ill.” The look of realisation on Hisao’s face is about what I expected.

“You mean…” Hisao mutters and I’m quick to explain.

“Yup. Shoji was a hospice patient.” I admit, tapping the side of my head. “Inoperable brain tumour, as I found out eventually. His family decided it would be better for him to stay there where doctors could keep an eye on him and act fast if something magically cropped up that could help. It didn’t.” I sigh, bringing my knees up to my chest, resting my forehead upon them.

The night before it happened; he had snuck into my room, as he often did, and we had talked for a little while before.

“Katayama… Rika, have you ever…” He blushed profusely, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. I’d never seen him like it before but he’d been acting weird for a couple days. “Do you worry about your condition? Like, how and when you might… Y’know.”

Honestly, it was pretty much always in the back of my mind ever since I was little girl. Why I couldn’t go to school and was homeschooled, why my grandfather had me on such a strict diet… and why I now bore an ugly scar on my chest.

“Y-y-yeah, but it’s not like I’m special in that regard…” I explained, after thinking how best to word my response. “Everyone worries about it, Shoji. It’s just a part of life. Everyone dies at some point.”

“Yeah but, I mean, aren’t you worried you won’t get the chance to do everything you want?” Shoji asked and, again, it’s something I’d always thought about.

“Sometimes, but they’re pretty mundane… I think I’ll be able to manage them.” I tittered as Shoji’s eyesbrows creeped up his forehead.

“Oh really? And what are your heart’s desires, Rika?” He asked, his mood lifting a little.

“Well… I’d like to actually go to school, for one. I’d—H-hey, don’t laugh! I’m serious!” He thought I was joking at first but when he saw I was serious, he said the last thing I ever expected.

“Well, I have heard of one place…”


I gesture out my arms to my room and Hisao looks around.

“So he first introduced you to Yamaku?”

“In a way. He didn’t know the name but he had heard about it. Said it was this ultra-futuristic facility. I was so disappointed when I first got here. The damn elevator didn’t work for the first week!” I laugh before sighing with a sad little smile. “Lying little bastard.”

“You don’t have to tell me anymore if you don’t want to. I can see this is a bit much for you.” Hisao speaks softly as his hand cups mine. He’s sweet but he’s already shared so much, even if I knew a fair bit beforehand.

“Almost done, Hisao. Keep your pants on.” I jab and he chuckles.

“Whoa…” Shoji blew air out of his mouth in mild surprise. “Okay, so that’s one. What about the others?”

I blushed when I thought of a big one and I daren’t really say it out loud but he did ask and he was really cute and funny. I felt really hot, like I sometimes do when Hisao is around. Quietly, and bashfully, I admitted my next desire.

“I’d… I’d like to kiss a boy at some point in the future.”


Smooth.” Hisao smirked and I bop him on the arm.

“Shuddup! It was my first kiss! I hadn’t successfully mastered the art of seduction yet!” I playfully scold, Hisao giving me an unimpressed look.

“Mastered? Really? Whatever you say…”

“Let me finish my prologue, you jerk!”

“I don’t think this is classed as a prologue…” Hisao taps his chin thoughtfully and I roll my eyes in annoyance. “Secret origin, whatever, anyway…”

“When you said mundane; you weren’t kidding, were you?” Shoji laughed and I only blushed harder.

“Sh-shut up! It’s p-p-perfectly normal, alright?” Shoji stopped laughing and nodded, scratching his head.

“I, uh… Nah, it’s stupid.” He muttered before going quiet. Seconds ticked by and he fidgeted an awful lot. I guessed he wanted to kiss me but was just as shy about it as I was. It was so awkward and I just couldn’t stand the tension any more so I kissed him. Right on the lips.


“Bold of you.” Hisao comments and I smile.

“Maybe a little too bold. The atmosphere was even more awkward afterwards and, eventually, the nurses came and got him. Couldn’t say what they thought was going on because we both looked flushed and really guilty. Before he left though…”

“I’ll s-see you tomorrow?”

Shoji stopped at the door, following the elder nurse as he often would. He looked over his shoulder with that cocky grin of his.

“Of course! There’s some fresh faces who need hazing!” He laughed and I nodded with a giggle. I looked forward to teasing the new patients just as much as seeing him again. But he never showed.


“Rika, I’m sorry.” Hisao squeezes my hand. I turn my hand to press my palm against his and interlock our fingers tightly.

“I went around the ward the next day, doing the same routine as he did. It’s an awful habit really, reading people’s patient notes but I just can’t help myself. I sometimes sneak peeks at the medical files in the Doc’s office even now.” I admit, casting a quick glance at Hisao who returns my look with a sympathetic gaze.

“Seems like you liked Shoji a lot.”

“First crush. Well. First crush on a real, non-digital, person. When I found out he died… I kinda hated him for it. Which is really stupid and pathetic I know but he said, he promised, that he’d see me the next day. And he broke it. It’s a pretty shitty thing to hate someone for, because I know it was out of his control, but the emotion is just there. I can’t help feeling that way and it’s not like I can talk to him and get it out of my system. I guess… I guess it’s because I never really got closure.” I breathe a lamentable sigh and fall against Hisao.

“And that’s why you blew up earlier?” He asks and I nod.

“Sorta. Everything that Iwanako wrote… It felt like it was designed to give her closure but not you. You’d read it and feel, probably, pretty bad. I know I would.”

“Can’t argue there.”

“I’m sorry I projected so much. Whatever you do about it is totally none of my business.”

“Don’t be. I’m kinda glad you did. I got to know some more about you and you’ve helped me figure out something.”

I prop myself up and look at him confused. What, in that rambling mess of a story, could have possibly helped him decide something? Hisao Nakai, you are a strange one.

-----------

I fill Fuuka in on the evenings events during homeroom, much to her chagrin. She scolded me for not taking my chance and, in her words, jumping Hisao’s bones right there. I swear that girl needs to get a hobby so she’ll quit focussing on my love life.

Still, she has a point. Me and Hisao keeping getting into these close situations and it never feels like the right time to make my move or we’re interrupted… Damn you, Saki… It’ll happen though, I’m confident of that. It’s obvious we’re into each other and I have just the plan to get us moving to the next level.

The end of day bell chimes and I race through the halls and up the stairs to where the third year classrooms are. I press myself against the wall as I pass the crowds of students exiting their rooms. As I reach Class 3-3, I’m lucky to find Hisao waiting there but what I didn’t expect was the Doctor.

“Ah, Katayama! I was just about to come see you.” He says with a friendly grin.

“Hey, Rika.” Hisao smiles and I smile back.

“Hi, senpai. What’s up, Doc? Did I miss an appointment or something?”

“No, but I do need you to come with me. There’s an important matter that needs your attention. Nakai’s too, actually.”

“Wait, what? What’d I do?” Hisao asks concerned and the Doctor raises an eyebrow in his direction.

“What? Oh nothing, my dear Nakai; I just feel you will be needed as well.” The Doctor smiles slyly, causing the hairs on the back of my neck bristle. Like someone walked over my grave… “Come along, you two!”

We follow the good Doctor as he commands, sharing a wordless conversation with our hands and expressions as to what’s going on and why we both have to go. Neither of us seems to have any idea but when we reach the Doctor’s office, it soon dawns on me. The worst case scenario. The one thing, at this point in time, I do not want to see behind the door of the Nurse’s office as the Doc opens it — I should have seen it coming… I can’t believe he’d do this to me. Actually, I can. That jerk!

“Hello, Rika. Ah, and this must be the Nakai boy I’ve been hearing so much about.”

Image

“H-Hi, mom.”

~~~~~~~~

Previous Level <---> Next Level

Re: Flutter - Level Ten: Shadow of Memories [24/4/16]

Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2016 5:20 am
by Mirage_GSM
I’ve spent a lot of my time this semester alone with you; how could they not be?
Japan has trimesters.
it never feels like the right time to make my move or we interrupted…
we are interrupted

Do they keep the patient's medical history open for all to read beside their beds at hospitals whrere you live? Sounds like something just about everyone would throw a fit over...

And in the final scene I found it a bit strange that the nurse would go to Hisao's classroom to get Rika and take Hisao along as an afterthought. Should probably be the other way around.

Anyway, I'm glad you're back to this story. Not that I didn't enjoy the other one, but I enjoy this one more. :-)

Re: Flutter - Level Ten: Shadow of Memories [24/4/16]

Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2016 5:52 am
by Dash9
I'm too tired to reply properly so I'll maybe make a 'proper' comment tomorrow. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt on the hemophilia, but I'll be watching to see where you go with it and what role it plays.

I know that it's generally accepted that Nurse only pays attention to patient confidentiality when it suits him, but how did Rika's mom ever learn about his name?

I'm glad to see you continue on with this, and look forward to next time.

As always, thanks for sharing!
--Dash

P.S. I've decided that this Rika is probably close to what I'd imagine my 'dream girl' would be like.

Re: Flutter - Level Ten: Shadow of Memories [24/4/16]

Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2016 9:31 am
by swampie2
Sharp-O wrote:“How’s my favourite girl this afternoon, Mikado?”
“Right, tonsillectomy, sorry. Must be killing you not being able to talk, huh?”
“Don’t worry, that nurse in the glasses that you like so much will be around later.”
The Mikado girl turned a violent shade of pink...
Is... is that? Did you just?

So sharp, you introduced a character and killed off a character in 2490~ words and It still broke my heart. I'd say 'good job' but it hurts man! :lol:
Dash9 wrote:I know that it's generally accepted that Nurse only pays attention to patient confidentiality when it suits him, but how did Rika's mom ever learn about his name?
Right off the bat, I'd assume the Nurse has a pretty close relationship with Rika's mother, not only because of Rika's problems but also because they're both doctors (At least it looks like that from the sprite). Kind of similar to Meiko and the Nurse since he's always contacting her about Emi's problems?

Re: Flutter - Level Ten: Shadow of Memories [24/4/16]

Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2016 9:56 am
by Sharp-O
Mirage_GSM wrote:General helpful suggestions.
Okie dokie, Mirage, fixed the grammar mistakes as suggested. In regards to the charts, it's always been my impression that general update charts (not full medical histories) are kept at the foot of each bed, hence Shoji reading updates about Hoshino and Mikado.

Nurse/Doctor's choice to grab Hisao is two-fold; A) because he's a tricky sonuvabitch and knows exactly what he's about to do to Hisao, ie - throw him under a bus and 2) because it would be good odds that Rika would rush to meet him out of class. I thought this would be the better route than having to go fetch Hisao and not catching him.
Mirage_GSM wrote:Anyway, I'm glad you're back to this story. Not that I didn't enjoy the other one, but I enjoy this one more. :-)
Half the impetus behind this story was to give you a likable Rika so no worries, plus I really like writing Rika. :D
Dash9 wrote:I'm too tired to reply properly so I'll maybe make a 'proper' comment tomorrow. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt on the hemophilia, but I'll be watching to see where you go with it and what role it plays.
Given the sparse information about Rika's character and the general timescale of surgery for hypoplastic left heart syndrome, I had to think up something that would cause her surgeries to be delayed somewhat and I figured haemophilia would be a good reason to delay major heart surgery until she was older and (as bad as it sounds) had a deeper reserve of blood. Not quite sure on the medical accuracy of it but it's conceivable, yes?
Dash9 wrote:I know that it's generally accepted that Nurse only pays attention to patient confidentiality when it suits him, but how did Rika's mom ever learn about his name?
I already previously established that Nurse/Doctor has given updates on Rika's condition but who's to say Rui (Rika's mom) would be asking about Hisao's medical history? She's a doctor yes, but also a parent so when told that her daughter is hanging out with a boy... Why wouldn't she ask his name? :) Also, Swamp's pretty much nailed it.
swampie2 wrote:
Sharp-O wrote:“How’s my favourite girl this afternoon, Mikado?”
“Right, tonsillectomy, sorry. Must be killing you not being able to talk, huh?”
“Don’t worry, that nurse in the glasses that you like so much will be around later.”
The Mikado girl turned a violent shade of pink...
Is... is that? Did you just?
I can neither confirm nor deny what you may or not be thinking :wink:

Glad everyone enjoyed the chapter for the most part, was kinda worried how this chapter would go but I think I did alright. More to come soon! :D