Katawa Shoujo Forums

hanako69 wrote:LOL U FUCKING FAGGOTS GO GET A FUCKING LIFE AND STOP QQING OVER A FUCKING BURNT ASS GIRL

lol. Troll harder roody-poo

Kouryuu wrote:Eh just something I want to get off my chest as I noticed alot of people saying they were lonely etc.

I am completely alone apart from family. And I love it, I hate people, I can't handle relationships or friendships. I felt worse when I tried, I just drive myself insane with how people are. It's not their fault if I had to deal with myself I would go more insane. I prefer solitude. I play online games but I dont make friends with anyone, they are just team-mates that I can leave at any time.

It's not just a sudden thing, its been this way for years and the years before that was just slowly losing all friends from school, I never had a friend for more than 3 months before I hated them. There was only one person that lasted longer and well... I let my depression ruin that (I am over my depression now dw).

I guess its why I get so attached to fictional characters, they are written and usually ideal even if in an unideal way, if that makes any sense. I feel more comfortable I guess. Hmm I dont know how to describe it. Like people are too unpredictable and fictional characters are just...easier to understand? You can always go back and 'study' them and make sense of them, whereas people just.... wtf.

I just want to know why loneliness is a bad thing because its amazing for me.

Well, I don't break my friendships, but I understand you. Solitude is actually better because there is a lot of people that you see them friendly, but they can stab you at any time, specially people from my country...

Kouryuu wrote:Eh just something I want to get off my chest as I noticed alot of people saying they were lonely etc.

I am completely alone apart from family. And I love it, I hate people, I can't handle relationships or friendships. I felt worse when I tried, I just drive myself insane with how people are. It's not their fault if I had to deal with myself I would go more insane. I prefer solitude. I play online games but I dont make friends with anyone, they are just team-mates that I can leave at any time.

It's not just a sudden thing, its been this way for years and the years before that was just slowly losing all friends from school, I never had a friend for more than 3 months before I hated them. There was only one person that lasted longer and well... I let my depression ruin that (I am over my depression now dw).

I guess its why I get so attached to fictional characters, they are written and usually ideal even if in an unideal way, if that makes any sense. I feel more comfortable I guess. Hmm I dont know how to describe it. Like people are too unpredictable and fictional characters are just...easier to understand? You can always go back and 'study' them and make sense of them, whereas people just.... wtf.

I just want to know why loneliness is a bad thing because its amazing for me.

Loneliness isn't solitude, which is what you're describing. Loneliness is solitude while craving companionship.

As for why it's bad... Short answer? Solitude can be fucking boring.

No, really, that sums it up. Everything stems from the fact that "loneliness is boring". Everything becomes static, fixed, and the days blend and blur together until one day you look at the date for when something was done or released and you think "holy shit, where did the time go?" because there's been next to nothing worth committing to memory over the past five years. At least, in comparison to the five years before that. Or what have you. Doing things on your own, unless you're ridiculously rich or talented and can afford the money and/or time it takes to swap between new activity to new activity regularly, is just... empty.

It also colors your view on your future, for instance. If you've spent the last three years working dead-end jobs for your career plan, and playing single-player video games or something for your free time, where are you going to expect to be in another three years? You've got no one to push you, no one to shake you up, no one to push yourself for, no one to make interesting plans, no one to do things for... etc, etc.

To be alone is to stagnate. For a lot of people, it can feel like dying a slow death. Rotting away from the inside. Or whatever.
For some people, it's what they need, though. Certainly there are times that people can do more damage than avoiding them does. Kind of like the difference between a neglected building slowly rotting away, and some dumbass vandal kid busting in there with a gas tank and a set of wooden matches one night.

The problem isn't that being alone is bad on its own, certainly not when compared to some unfortunate alternatives - it's just that having company you can trust, can confide in, can rely on, can perhaps grow to love - it's much better. But it, of course, is only better if you actually can trust them. If being around them is genuinely enjoyable to both parties. If you can trust that if that friend sees you at a weak or pained moment that it won't turn them against you in some way. If you can trust that they won't suddenly stop caring about your interests completely, only using you to further their own.

Unfortunately, it can look like a lot of people are just... not... worth it. It feels that way to me, honestly. It's why fictional characters can be so appealing - they won't turn out to have a horrible shadow side where they put in less than lip service to the friendship at some point, while only using you so they can spend the night at your place while they try to fuck one of their not-interested female friends. (This... happened. I let it happen because the friend had just gone through a stupid breakup and I figured his head was just in a bad place... but the events to follow disproved that naivete.) Fictional characters won't betray you, because the way they're written is the way they are. Not the way they appear to be.
(Not that you can't take someone's emotional investment in something and ruin it. Has anyone heard of the Mass Effect 3 ending controversy? I swear, five to ten minutes of something that you keep telling yourself just can't be canon will just... wreck your enjoyment of the whole series up until then. -_-)

When people are feeling lonely, it's not that they want to have the company of all those idiotic, petty, lying, deceiving fools that unfortunately seem to exist in always-underestimated numbers - it's that they want the company of what those people would be if they were anything close to what they pretend to be. Or the company of anybody who can be like that.

Oh, and this:

This is my third time posting here about my probelms and it feels talking about probelms but it feels a little weird

(I'd go back and edit that; all the Guest posts lately seem to be mine - but can't do that as a guest. May need to make an account at some point I guess.)

If you want to rant, if you want to seek advice, then by all means, go for it. This board seems a lot more friendly than many others out there, so you could certainly do worse. And it helps sometimes to get an outsider's perspective on your own situation. It's kind of hard to seek unbiased advice among your regular social circle when that social circle is also embedded in the issue. It's also hard to present such an issue to the people you see every day with a problem that cuts so deeply, unless they've earned your complete and solid trust. Which is apparently an exceptionally rare thing to see happen.

If you do enough of it, then, yeah, it will start to loop back and start feeding itself, in a way, but unless you've been doing it near-daily for months, you're probably not close to there yet. Even then, I'm still not entirely sure whether I've stopped feeding my own depression, or I've just allowed repression. Possibly both.

Guest wrote:

Kouryuu wrote:Eh just something I want to get off my chest as I noticed alot of people saying they were lonely etc.

I am completely alone apart from family. And I love it, I hate people, I can't handle relationships or friendships. I felt worse when I tried, I just drive myself insane with how people are. It's not their fault if I had to deal with myself I would go more insane. I prefer solitude. I play online games but I dont make friends with anyone, they are just team-mates that I can leave at any time.

It's not just a sudden thing, its been this way for years and the years before that was just slowly losing all friends from school, I never had a friend for more than 3 months before I hated them. There was only one person that lasted longer and well... I let my depression ruin that (I am over my depression now dw).

I guess its why I get so attached to fictional characters, they are written and usually ideal even if in an unideal way, if that makes any sense. I feel more comfortable I guess. Hmm I dont know how to describe it. Like people are too unpredictable and fictional characters are just...easier to understand? You can always go back and 'study' them and make sense of them, whereas people just.... wtf.

I just want to know why loneliness is a bad thing because its amazing for me.

Loneliness isn't solitude, which is what you're describing. Loneliness is solitude while craving companionship.

As for why it's bad... Short answer? Solitude can be fucking boring.

No, really, that sums it up. Everything stems from the fact that "loneliness is boring". Everything becomes static, fixed, and the days blend and blur together until one day you look at the date for when something was done or released and you think "holy shit, where did the time go?" because there's been next to nothing worth committing to memory over the past five years. At least, in comparison to the five years before that. Or what have you. Doing things on your own, unless you're ridiculously rich or talented and can afford the money and/or time it takes to swap between new activity to new activity regularly, is just... empty.

It also colors your view on your future, for instance. If you've spent the last three years working dead-end jobs for your career plan, and playing single-player video games or something for your free time, where are you going to expect to be in another three years? You've got no one to push you, no one to shake you up, no one to push yourself for, no one to make interesting plans, no one to do things for... etc, etc.

To be alone is to stagnate. For a lot of people, it can feel like dying a slow death. Rotting away from the inside. Or whatever.
For some people, it's what they need, though. Certainly there are times that people can do more damage than avoiding them does. Kind of like the difference between a neglected building slowly rotting away, and some dumbass vandal kid busting in there with a gas tank and a set of wooden matches one night.

The problem isn't that being alone is bad on its own, certainly not when compared to some unfortunate alternatives - it's just that having company you can trust, can confide in, can rely on, can perhaps grow to love - it's much better. But it, of course, is only better if you actually can trust them. If being around them is genuinely enjoyable to both parties. If you can trust that if that friend sees you at a weak or pained moment that it won't turn them against you in some way. If you can trust that they won't suddenly stop caring about your interests completely, only using you to further their own.

Unfortunately, it can look like a lot of people are just... not... worth it. It feels that way to me, honestly. It's why fictional characters can be so appealing - they won't turn out to have a horrible shadow side where they put in less than lip service to the friendship at some point, while only using you so they can spend the night at your place while they try to fuck one of their not-interested female friends. (This... happened. I let it happen because the friend had just gone through a stupid breakup and I figured his head was just in a bad place... but the events to follow disproved that naivete.) Fictional characters won't betray you, because the way they're written is the way they are. Not the way they appear to be.
(Not that you can't take someone's emotional investment in something and ruin it. Has anyone heard of the Mass Effect 3 ending controversy? I swear, five to ten minutes of something that you keep telling yourself just can't be canon will just... wreck your enjoyment of the whole series up until then. -_-)

When people are feeling lonely, it's not that they want to have the company of all those idiotic, petty, lying, deceiving fools that unfortunately seem to exist in always-underestimated numbers - it's that they want the company of what those people would be if they were anything close to what they pretend to be. Or the company of anybody who can be like that.

Hm, this was a nice read, thank you.

However its not always other people that are the issue, like I just snap or make a mistake I just cant get over and have to move on. I have many times been unable to care, like I want to care about someone but I just cant. I guess I do like the stagnation, its like a comfort zone and I feel good here. I do have a dream that I am working towards but I dont need other people to achieve it. Well I do just not directly.

I dont feel bored at all though, I am always enjoying myself. In fact I was more bored when I met up with friends to do something, just waiting for it to end so I could go home.

I've been reading all what you guys have posted recently, and I have to say that I hope that everything goes alright, and it does get better. Pretty much everything I wanted to say has already been said, but...uhm, there's something I wanna talk about.

Guys, I...kinda need help with something. It's not about the Emi-ish girl nor my exhibition, I just have a problem and I'd really like to tell you guys about it.

I can't keep my promises. I do fine with commitment and being loyal with my friends (something that people like about me), but when I promise something, I just end up forgetting about it, unless it's something very important to me.

Because of this, my boyfriend is starting to trust me less and less and so are doing some of my friends...I feel awful, I really do, and I'm trying to change it, but I can't change overnight...

What can I do about it? I don't want to lose my friends nor their trust in me...but it's going to take some time to get over it. When I was younger, I believed in somebody. That somebody promised he would never hurt me, that he would always be with me...
Let's just say it didn't happen. I'm not comfortable talking about it in a forum.

Ever since then, I don't believe in promises. I think it's better to forget about them, and be surprised when somebody actually does what she/he said she/he would do. It's been difficult for me to start believing in them again, and actually start promising things because of what happened before. Is there anything I can do about it to start promising things and accomplishing them? I don't want to disappoint who I love again.

Aili wrote:I've been reading all what you guys have posted recently, and I have to say that I hope that everything goes alright, and it does get better. Pretty much everything I wanted to say has already been said, but...uhm, there's something I wanna talk about.

Guys, I...kinda need help with something. It's not about the Emi-ish girl nor my exhibition, I just have a problem and I'd really like to tell you guys about it.

I can't keep my promises. I do fine with commitment and being loyal with my friends (something that people like about me), but when I promise something, I just end up forgetting about it, unless it's something very important to me.

Because of this, my boyfriend is starting to trust me less and less and so are doing some of my friends...I feel awful, I really do, and I'm trying to change it, but I can't change overnight...

What can I do about it? I don't want to lose my friends nor their trust in me...but it's going to take some time to get over it. When I was younger, I believed in somebody. That somebody promised he would never hurt me, that he would always be with me...
Let's just say it didn't happen. I'm not comfortable talking about it in a forum.

Ever since then, I don't believe in promises. I think it's better to forget about them, and be surprised when somebody actually does what she/he said she/he would do. It's been difficult for me to start believing in them again, and actually start promising things because of what happened before. Is there anything I can do about it to start promising things and accomplishing them? I don't want to disappoint who I love again.

Here's my idea. If you're having problems keeping promises because you're forgetting, then first off let your friends (and especially your boyfriend) know how much this is bugging you. Get a planner, or some kind of little black book to keep notes in. Whenever you make a promise, no matter how important or mundane it is (in fact, ESPECIALLY the mundane stuff) write it down in the there. Then if you ever get the feeling you should be doing something, just go through your planner and make sure you didn't forget. If you aren't sure what your plans are for tomorrow, go through and check.

Now, this is probably most helpful for time commitments, but as for promises of favors or just any other kind of promise that doesn't have a time to stamp on, you can use this as well. Something with dates probably won't help so much, but just start filling a notebook or a sheet of paper with all the things you've promised people, and fill it as you make promises. And then cross it out when you fulfill that promise. If you forget a promise and it's too late, cross it out with a color you don't like (red is always good for this), so when you flip through the notebook you can see how well you've been doing. And get your friends to remind/bug you about this as well. Like with Emi's exercising, it's easier if you have a partner.

Another thing to keep in mind that sometimes promises just cannot be kept for whatever reasons. To actively go against a promise you made with someone is betrayal, and it sounds like you experienced this. But some promises have external complications, and for those it's impossible to fulfill for any one of a hundred reasons and it's nobody's fault. It's disappointing, but nobody should hold it to you, and you shouldn't hold it against anyone else'. Especially if whoever unintentionally broke the promise comes forth and apologizes as soon as possible.

@Guest (can't quote for some reason)
Thanks man but i didn't realize the bf until after she confessed and my first gf and i. Well it was more like we were bros kind of. We never kissed or did anything like that. All we did really was just talk and after we broke up there wasn't any depression because we were never in love in the first place. Also like i said my mind exploded when this happened right after i broke up. And had i know she had a bf i wouldn't have even tried and would have known things would end badly

@Aili
I know how you feel
I used to just break promises left and right and i felt terrible about it
Now i never intend to never break promises and be as loyal as i can be unless it's more important to get the truth out
What i recommend is that you write your promises down so you can let go of it in your head
If there was a certain promise you can't remeber then check the thing you wrote on
I wish you the best of luck, my friend

hanako69 wrote:Sorry for my previous comment, seems that friend decided to be an asswipe.

Just be careful next time okay? I would hate to see someone get accused because of their moron friends...

hanako69 wrote:Sorry for my previous comment, seems that friend decided to be an asswipe.

With friends like that, who needs enemies. Id change my password so he couldnt pull something like that again. Its instances like that why I lock my computer with a strong password every time I leave it.

Aili wrote:I've been reading all what you guys have posted recently, and I have to say that I hope that everything goes alright, and it does get better. Pretty much everything I wanted to say has already been said, but...uhm, there's something I wanna talk about.

Guys, I...kinda need help with something. It's not about the Emi-ish girl nor my exhibition, I just have a problem and I'd really like to tell you guys about it.

I can't keep my promises. I do fine with commitment and being loyal with my friends (something that people like about me), but when I promise something, I just end up forgetting about it, unless it's something very important to me.

Because of this, my boyfriend is starting to trust me less and less and so are doing some of my friends...I feel awful, I really do, and I'm trying to change it, but I can't change overnight...

What can I do about it? I don't want to lose my friends nor their trust in me...but it's going to take some time to get over it. When I was younger, I believed in somebody. That somebody promised he would never hurt me, that he would always be with me...
Let's just say it didn't happen. I'm not comfortable talking about it in a forum.

Ever since then, I don't believe in promises. I think it's better to forget about them, and be surprised when somebody actually does what she/he said she/he would do. It's been difficult for me to start believing in them again, and actually start promising things because of what happened before. Is there anything I can do about it to start promising things and accomplishing them? I don't want to disappoint who I love again.

Get a pocket sized planner you can keep with you and write things down in there. Or better yet, if you have a smartphone, you can keep notes, tasks, appointments etc on that and ever set reminders. Thats what I do when I have something that I need to remember at a later date or time. I love my BlackBerry for that reason. The tasks, appointments and notes applications are wonderful for keeping track of things.

Be sure that you tell them honestly that you try your best to remember such things and tell them how much it bothers you when you forget them so they dont think that you just simply dont care. If you let them know that you care and are doing your best, they will likely be more lenient, and maybe even help you remember.

Hi again.
I had a small fight with my mom and her new husband (like I said in my last post my parents are divorced) and it wasn't about anything big, but it made feel... really frustrated. Now that I have no school, I have a lot of free time so I have spent much more time on the computer than usually. And yesterday we had fight about how it is "too expensive" if I spend that much time on a computer. I don't think it's really about that, I think they just want me to go outside and... I dunno. That's the problem I don't really have anything to do there. I have nothing against playing soccer or something, it's just that all my friends are doing something else. My hobbies are: warhammer, trading card games and computer games. I used to play floorball once a week, but I just got bored. So I asked mom what does she want me to do outside and I don't think I got a real answer. I just feel really frustrated that she doesn't understand that only reason that I don't "go play outside" is that, people here do only 2 things outside: serious sports and drink alcohol. So yeah... I was pretty upset, when she told that I should paint miniatyres less and be less on computer (and I spend a lot of time on a computer I admit that, but she thinks it's more than it really is) I think I try to talk with her when her new husband is not around, that usually makes it easier. But thanks again listening my "teenagers problems", when I write this, they don't seem to be that big problems, but im really upset so they feel big.... well anyway thanks to everyone who has the patiense to read all of this.
And I still read all posts here, I just don't have any smart answer but still thanks for everyony for sharing their stories

Ali, do you forget your promises because you have a bad memory, or because you still resent that other person who broke their promise? In the first case, it's as simple as using memory aids such as notes, smart phones, etc. If you still feel resentment, however, you'll have to fight to get over that. How to say, there's plenty of unreliable people out there, but that doesn't mean you should become one of them. On the contrary, if you felt betrayed, you should know that it sucks to be betrayed. So don't do to others that you hate yourself. In any case, do tell those close to you that it bothers you that you forget your promises, tell them that you'll do your best to work on it, ask for their support, and apologize if you do still forget. No one is perfect, but you should show your honest effort.

Unforgiven, if you are older than 18, then sounds like your mom wants you to find a girlfriend or boyfriend (I don't know your gender and orientation). Really, it's the grandmother instinct, I think. If you are younger, then I think it's more worry that you're geeking out too much, and that you don't have enough friends. Both are reasonable worries for your parents to have. For most people life is a lot better when they have friends and a girlfriend or boyfriend, and I think it's normal for parents to try to push their children into finding companions in their life.

Kouryuu, some people do genuinely enjoy being alone. Maybe you're one of them. But I think you just haven't met anyone who you really hit it off with. So I'd ask you to stay open for meeting other people. One thing I'd recommend to you (and anyone here really) is to save up on cash and then when you become 18 (or if you are already), go travelling, preferabbly staying in guest houses so you meet many people. Go to London, Paris, Tokyo, ... Another thing I'd recommend is to play the following video games to get more of a feeling for the importance of relationships and love: Chrono Trigger (SNES), Legend of Mana (PS1), Persona 4 (PS2), and of course replay KS once again.

Edit: Final Fantasy 8 , (ps1) Grandia 1 (PS1), or Skies of Arcadia (GC) may also be interesting.

Unforgiven wrote:Hi again.
I had a small fight with my mom and her new husband (like I said in my last post my parents are divorced) and it wasn't about anything big, but it made feel... really frustrated. Now that I have no school, I have a lot of free time so I have spent much more time on the computer than usually. And yesterday we had fight about how it is "too expensive" if I spend that much time on a computer. I don't think it's really about that, I think they just want me to go outside and... I dunno. That's the problem I don't really have anything to do there. I have nothing against playing soccer or something, it's just that all my friends are doing something else. My hobbies are: warhammer, trading card games and computer games. I used to play floorball once a week, but I just got bored. So I asked mom what does she want me to do outside and I don't think I got a real answer. I just feel really frustrated that she doesn't understand that only reason that I don't "go play outside" is that, people here do only 2 things outside: serious sports and drink alcohol. So yeah... I was pretty upset, when she told that I should paint miniatyres less and be less on computer (and I spend a lot of time on a computer I admit that, but she thinks it's more than it really is) I think I try to talk with her when her new husband is not around, that usually makes it easier. But thanks again listening my "teenagers problems", when I write this, they don't seem to be that big problems, but im really upset so they feel big.... well anyway thanks to everyone who has the patiense to read all of this.
And I still read all posts here, I just don't have any smart answer but still thanks for everyony for sharing their stories

Dont sit there and think just because your problems may not be as intense as others that they are not just as signifigant. YOU are the one they are effecting. They arent just teenagers problems. They effect people much older than you. Im 26 and I have the same issues. Few friends, no girlfriend and i spend a lionshare of my free time on my computer, tablet (as such, I am currently typing this on my BlackBerry Playbook), or smartphone and hardly get out and meet people. I know where you are coming from.

Beoran wrote:Kouryuu, some people do genuinely enjoy being alone. Maybe you're one of them. But I think you just haven't met anyone who you really hit it off with. So I'd ask you to stay open for meeting other people. One thing I'd recommend to you (and anyone here really) is to save up on cash and then when you become 18 (or if you are already), go travelling, preferabbly staying in guest houses so you meet many people. Go to London, Paris, Tokyo, ... Another thing I'd recommend is to play the following video games to get more of a feeling for the importance of relationships and love: Chrono Trigger (SNES), Legend of Mana (PS1), Persona 4 (PS2), and of course replay KS once again.

Edit: Final Fantasy 8 , (ps1) Grandia 1 (PS1), or Skies of Arcadia (GC) may also be interesting.

Thanks for your reply (am I the only one who hates that the normal smiley shows teeth? :/)

Funny you should mention hitting it off with someone, I did have that someone, the only person who never annoyed me in 2 years of knowing them. Unfortunately this was during a depression and I became dependant on them(I read about that) and so I knew I had to give them up. A few months and about 6 attempts later I was able to. I promised myself not to talk to them until I fixed myself but now that I am fixed I'm just scared. I am ok with not talking to them again and think that it might be best left in the past or that she might not want to have to put up with me again or something, but at the same time I wanted to prove to her that I could finally sort myself out. Meh its been 4 years since I talked to her. Snot like heartbreak or anything, we didnt go out, we were just good friends. She was the only one who actually came across like they understood, like they gave a shit. It was refreshing to have someone like that.

EDIT - I just realised, what if I decided to contact her again and she doesnt like how I am now? I'm not massively different but I am probably different. I mean the way I see things is completely different...fuck.

About travelling, well, that scares the shit out of me... I couldnt travel alone I'd need someone with me to basically do everything for me xD. I remember once I went on a 4 hour train journey and had to go through London underground... I never been so scared in my life. And then I had to stay at someones house. So scarey being in an unknown area.