Katawa Shoujo Forums

ProfAllister wrote:You've stated that you have had issues growing up. In a sense, you saw the students at Yamaku as "your people."

Please.
Aside from Hanako they don't know how good they have it. I went to a school for the MENTALLY disabled. Those places are living hell. Unlike Yamaku they DO make you feel like the left over scraps of what was supposed to be a human being. It would be without exaggeration the equivalent of a jail if they decided to put bars in the doors of the dorm rooms.
I was lucky enough to be allowed to return to public school after three years. I know that I and EVERY kid back in my school would have switched lives with a Yamaku student in a heart-beat. Then returning to Public School was far from the end of it. (I just went over this speech a minute ago) but due to my disorder I am incapable of adapting to a social situation on my own. I have to be TOLD how to interact, and you know how different teachers think interaction should be and how it really is. Kids would take advantage of my confusion every day and torment me and laugh at how awkward I was.
And that's the easy part but like I said I've been over this speech once today. I don't feel like going over this whole thing twice so I'll leave it there.

But no. NO ONE that has had the benefit of staying in a normal school their entire life will ever look human to me.

KS can be a reality check. If you looked around and didn't like your current reality, then maybe you feel like that you have to do a reset and build a new one from scratch. Your attachment to KS could be your anchor as you decide what new path in life to pursue.

One main point from Hanako's route is that you have to be OK with yourself before you can be of any real help to others -- otherwise you can get hooked on a downward spiral of co-dependancy.

Maybe you can find one or two things that you would really like to improve about yourself. Put a realistic plan together and start to make it happen. See if the people around you are willing to help you make it happen. Pull in the friends who are truely willing to help you, and that will help alliviate your isolation. If your thearpy is no good, then look for another program.

As mentioned by others, KS gave you some major feels. You can totally leverage off of that and give yourself a nice kickstart. It would be a shame to waste that potential now that you have it in your hands. That kind of power is something special, and something that many people will never experience or have available to them.

Zezin wrote:

ProfAllister wrote:You've stated that you have had issues growing up. In a sense, you saw the students at Yamaku as "your people."

Please.
Aside from Hanako they don't know how good they have it. I went to a school for the MENTALLY disabled. Those places are living hell. Unlike Yamaku they DO make you feel like the left over scraps of what was supposed to be a human being. It would be without exaggeration the equivalent of a jail if they decided to put bars in the doors of the dorm rooms.
I was lucky enough to be allowed to return to public school after three years. I know that I and EVERY kid back in my school would have switched lives with a Yamaku student in a heart-beat. Then returning to Public School was far from the end of it. (I just went over this speech a minute ago) but due to my disorder I am incapable of adapting to a social situation on my own. I have to be TOLD how to interact, and you know how different teachers think interaction should be and how it really is. Kids would take advantage of my confusion every day and torment me and laugh at how awkward I was.
And that's the easy part but like I said I've been over this speech once today. I don't feel like going over this whole thing twice so I'll leave it there.

But no. NO ONE that has had the benefit of staying in a normal school their entire life will ever look human to me.

(Apologies if this sounds harsh. I've tried to keep this positive, but it's hard to address this subject matter honestly without dipping into the surrounding negativity.)

Please.

Life isn't a pissing match about who's suffered the most.

I concede that you've had a hard life. I concede that I will never understand how bad you've had it. I'd express my respect for you pulling through, but you wouldn't want me patronizing you.

But when you turn your suffering into a badge of honor, and start judging other people by that standard, you're no better than the rich bitch who ostracises the girls that can't afford Louis Vuitton handbags.

You asked for help. It shouldn't come as a shock when there are sub-humans who think they might be able to provide insight. They don't need your condescension. Try as you might, you can't pull yourself up by dragging others down.

There is a universality to human experience. People don't have the same experiences, but they respond in a similar manner to similar circumstances. Timmy may have no worries greater than keeping his girlfriend happy and keeping his grades passing, but that doesn't mean he hasn't had a valid human experience. He may have a different perspective than you, but he has hopes, he has dreams, and he has his own personal struggles.

Your life was hell, you have severe social difficulties, and your problems are far more crippling than Timmy's. I can accept that. But if the fact that Timmy didn't suffer to get where he is lowers his value in your eyes, Timmy's not the problem. You are. And this isn't something that can be blamed on a Visual novel, a circumstance of your upbringing, or anything else. You're the one making the choice, and it's not Timmy's humanity you're denying. It's your own.

You imply that you were told through much of your life that you were different. Now you're the one insisting that you're different. If you keep setting yourself aside and rejecting attempts at human contact, don't be surprised when people start agreeing with you.

I agree with Allister. Dunno what your problem is with shutting out friends and such but the whole "I suffered so I'm superior" vibe is a bit much.

Xanatos wrote:I agree with Allister. Dunno what your problem is with shutting out friends and such but the whole "I suffered so I'm superior" vibe is a bit much.

mmm
i don't mean to downplay how serious mental illness is, but simply blaming a game with a touching story for your depression doesn't cut it. think carefully about why the game made you so depressed and angry. did it have to do with feeling outcast? or the fact that it dealt with disabilities (albeit physical but disabilities are disabilities)
also, don't act as if having a hard life makes you superior to other people. it makes you more pitiful maybe, but it only excuses behavior to a certain extent. i've been to a mental ward before. i know how they are treated, and how batshit crazy some people really are.
but KS is not a legitamate thing to blame. it has nothing shocking or scarring. it's a coming of age story where a teenager comes to terms with his life, and finds love in the process.

i might not have a mental condition, but i have my own struggles in life. i've never even had a female friend. i dropped out of college with debt. i've gotten my heart broken twice. just because nobody is in your exact situation doesn't mean their life is awesome.

that may be what you have to do. come to terms with your life. because pointing fingers does nothing.

yummines wrote:

Xanatos wrote:I agree with Allister. Dunno what your problem is with shutting out friends and such but the whole "I suffered so I'm superior" vibe is a bit much.

mmm
i don't mean to downplay how serious mental illness is, but simply blaming a game with a touching story for your depression doesn't cut it. think carefully about why the game made you so depressed and angry. did it have to do with feeling outcast? or the fact that it dealt with disabilities (albeit physical but disabilities are disabilities)
also, don't act as if having a hard life makes you superior to other people. it makes you more pitiful maybe, but it only excuses behavior to a certain extent. i've been to a mental ward before. i know how they are treated, and how batshit crazy some people really are.
but KS is not a legitamate thing to blame. it has nothing shocking or scarring. it's a coming of age story where a teenager comes to terms with his life, and finds love in the process.

i might not have a mental condition, but i have my own struggles in life. i've never even had a female friend. i dropped out of college with debt. i've gotten my heart broken twice. just because nobody is in your exact situation doesn't mean their life is awesome.

that may be what you have to do. come to terms with your life. because pointing fingers does nothing.

...Why was I quoted for that?

Xanatos wrote:

yummines wrote:

Xanatos wrote:I agree with Allister. Dunno what your problem is with shutting out friends and such but the whole "I suffered so I'm superior" vibe is a bit much.

mmm
i don't mean to downplay how serious mental illness is, but simply blaming a game with a touching story for your depression doesn't cut it. think carefully about why the game made you so depressed and angry. did it have to do with feeling outcast? or the fact that it dealt with disabilities (albeit physical but disabilities are disabilities)
also, don't act as if having a hard life makes you superior to other people. it makes you more pitiful maybe, but it only excuses behavior to a certain extent. i've been to a mental ward before. i know how they are treated, and how batshit crazy some people really are.
but KS is not a legitamate thing to blame. it has nothing shocking or scarring. it's a coming of age story where a teenager comes to terms with his life, and finds love in the process.

i might not have a mental condition, but i have my own struggles in life. i've never even had a female friend. i dropped out of college with debt. i've gotten my heart broken twice. just because nobody is in your exact situation doesn't mean their life is awesome.

that may be what you have to do. come to terms with your life. because pointing fingers does nothing.

...Why was I quoted for that?

to say i agree with you

Sounds to me like OP needs to play Shizune's arc.

I laugh at suicide victims now.

That's a terrible thing, I really don't care what your rationale is for that. What, is it that "they haven't suffered like I have"? I can see looking down at someone who's having a tantrum over their parents not buying them the new iPhone or something, but that's a world of difference from laughing at a suicide victim. Not everyone's suffering or capacity to endure it is made equal. Even if it were, you don't know what's going through someone's head or why. Who are you to judge?

Aside from Hanako they don't know how good they have it.

Not a real person. Don't go there.

they DO make you feel like the left over scraps of what was supposed to be a human being.

But no. NO ONE that has had the benefit of staying in a normal school their entire life will ever look human to me.

This set of quotes is both repulsive and confusing. You're using your experience with a school that makes you feel separated from "normal" humanity to justify saying that no one else can be human? That's a contradiction...
And how do you know what these "non-humans" around you would be like, had they shared your experiences?
Most importantly, though, it's inconceivable for me to understand not regarding others as human the way you do not. I really have to agree with Xanatos and Allister. The fact that you got to go through shitty experiences that others didn't doesn't make you superior. It just means that you went through shitty experiences that others didn't.


All in all, it sounds like something in KS - I don't know, your easy relation to Hanako, maybe? - caused a horribly dark part of your personality to come to the front. This thinking, if what you're saying is a real part of it, is distorted and simply wrong. There are lots of people out there who've suffered worse and more traumatic experiences than you have. I don't know if they can relate to "normal" people either - maybe not - but I doubt they all think of "normal" people as sub-human, as you seem to do.

While Hanako's quite misanthropic herself, she doesn't like that part of herself and tries her hardest to change it. If you relate to her that much, you might want to try and follow her example.

Xanatos wrote:I agree with Allister. Dunno what your problem is with shutting out friends and such but the whole "I suffered so I'm superior" vibe is a bit much.

I can see how you got that idea by what i said, but that wasn't what I was really going for. Plus I was just letting some steam off when I posted this.

Nyzer wrote:Not a real person. Don't go there.

The concept of "real" has always been kind of complicated for me.

Nyzer wrote:This set of quotes is both repulsive and confusing. You're using your experience with a school that makes you feel separated from "normal" humanity to justify saying that no one else can be human? That's a contradiction...

That was my own anger talking, you kind of slapped back into reality there. Seriously. Thanks.

Nyzer wrote:All in all, it sounds like something in KS - I don't know, your easy relation to Hanako, maybe? - caused a horribly dark part of your personality to come to the front.

Funny, my few remaining friends say that this new side of me (horrible as it may be) may benefit me in the long run. They say "Maybe its time you started caring about yourself for once anyway."

Nyzer wrote:There are lots of people out there who've suffered worse and more traumatic experiences than you have.

I HATE when people play this card. I actually still have sympathy for those who have worse off than me. Example being one of the students in my SSD class has Sickle Cell Anemia. THere are plenty of other people I personally know who have it worse than me. But if it isn't those people I really can't find myself able to care about their problems. WHich is why I made this thread. I'm known for being the most sympathetic guy ever. But now I just don't care about anyone but myself.

I HATE when people play this card.

That wasn't what I meant. In most circumstances, saying something to that effect is inflammatory and pointless - my meaning here was just to say that that stuff shouldn't separate you from the rest of humanity to such a large degree. If it makes you feel different, then so be it - it shouldn't make you feel superior in some way, though. People are different, and suffering doesn't make you a better person on its own. If you can gleam some higher understanding as a result of suffering, then, maybe - but usually trauma breaks you down, not builds you up.

you kind of slapped back into reality there. Seriously. Thanks.

That was the hope.

They say "Maybe its time you started caring about yourself for once anyway."

And maybe it is. Sounds like you've had some intensely bottled anger. See if you can work that out before it poisons you. Anger and hatred can have their purposes, but in personal experience with anger, even though I can let go of emotion fairly well if I work at it - I never particularly want to. If I'm angry, I don't want to be calm, if that makes sense, even though I sometimes remember that I can be.
Speaking from personal experience with depression, if you wallow in it, it doesn't get better - it just gets worse, you manage to talk yourself into a deepening spiral. I imagine anger's no different, though I haven't been outright angry at anything for months on end, unlike, well.

Nyzer wrote:

I laugh at suicide victims now.

That's a terrible thing, I really don't care what your rationale is for that. What, is it that "they haven't suffered like I have"? I can see looking down at someone who's having a tantrum over their parents not buying them the new iPhone or something, but that's a world of difference from laughing at a suicide victim. Not everyone's suffering or capacity to endure it is made equal. Even if it were, you don't know what's going through someone's head or why. Who are you to judge?

"Suicide victims".

What a funny phase. The only victims in a suicide is those left behind. Suicide is for weak minded people who given up on life instead of growing a pair.

Snow_Storm wrote:"Suicide victims".

What a funny phase. The only victims in a suicide is those left behind. Suicide is for weak minded people who given up on life instead of growing a pair.

To be honest, i always considered the people who made the suicide about the relatives instead of the person who couldn't bear to live anymore as the weak ones.

.