yassodude wrote:I'm sorry about any snide or Offensive comments I've made that may have offended any of you . I still think they were justified but i've never really been the type of guy to do that .
[...GF story...]
So in conclusion sorry and my ex's situation's resemblance to Emi's is the reason why I was severely depressed and kept playing back out relationship in my head several times , wondering if I "MAde the wrong choice" you know , or "Got her bad ending" since KS depends on single lines , I though perhaps I said the wrong sentence once which is why she never opened up to me.
Regarding the first, well, this is the Internet. It's like a high-oxygen environment, the smallest spark will start a fire. It's a good practice for life to breathe a few times and be the fire blanket rather than rising to the bait.
As for your experience with your gf, I'm sorry about what happened. It sounds like this may be one of those cases where there is no happy ending -- there's nothing you can do to bring her mother back, nothing anyone could do to replace her, and the grieving process simply is what it is. It's different for everyone. We can't judge whether you "made the wrong choice" -- maybe you did a lot of stupid things (asking "is anything wrong" when you know something is might be an example, but it might not, we weren't there) or maybe you were perfect and it's just something she's going to have to work through.
One of the things that KS does address but not always obviously is that agency isn't always with the player. In real life too. Sometimes things happen that are her decision; sometimes things work out based on your decisions but for reasons you have no conscious control over. And sometimes things just don't work out. One thing that KS doesn't address -- and wouldn't, since it wouldn't really fit with the genre of a ren'ai VN -- is self-care. You talked about how you couldn't take being with this girl any more, because she was so distant and so robotic to you. At a certain point, while the situation sucks, the choice not to be with her is okay. Maybe even necessary. It's okay to be selfish when you have to be to protect yourself or give yourself the chance to be happy (so long as you aren't taking advantage of or harming others). You aren't a therapist and you can't be expected to be one. And it's okay to break up with someone for those reasons. (That's a little-discussed side issue with white-knighting, incidentally--say you succeed and make someone's life "better" by making them dependent on you. Guess what? They'll still have issues, you've just recruited yourself as an unpaid, unlicensed therapist. Congratulations...?) Anyway that said I hope you'll still be a friend to your friend when she needs you; but if she isn't The One For The Rest Of Your Life, maybe that's okay.
But you are SO young. You of course want a deep emotional connection with someone (healthy adolescent sex drive or no), but there will be SO MUCH time for that. Instead of thinking about how you don't have that, think of now as this essential time to discover more about who you are and who you want to be (the person you'll share with the person
who share your life). Think of it as the time to establish meaningful connections with lots of different people, whether friendships or relationships (many of which won't work out) because you know what? The Hisao that dates Lilly will never get to date Emi or Rin or Hanako. He'll never get to learn from all those other mistakes, he'll never experience all the other joys that you would experience even in any of their bad routes. Think how much richer his life would be if he had the chance to date several of them before settling down... think how much richer your life will be if you let yourself grow and change and meet lots of good friends who shape you and give you direction. You don't want to be forever the person you were when you were seven, right? So maybe it's okay that you not be forever with the people you were with when you were seven, too.
That's not to say it doesn't hurt. The first lesson of life is it always hurts. But life's always about decisions, which experiences you get to have and which you don't. Perhaps you'll get lots of new experiences from this which you never could have had otherwise.
You don't want to be my (now-divorced) parents, fifty years old and realizing your deep connection with one person meant you never got to meet anyone else, or even really have a deep connection with yourself. There will be so much time for all that. Just don't spend that time in moping or worrying or complaining. You have so much time, but never enough that you can waste it.
Okay, okay, grandpa's done. Good luck out there.