Re: Learning the blues. Act 2 Scene 5 up!
Posted: Sat Sep 27, 2014 5:41 pm
AN: 6k, in two chunks. Here we see some of the family dynamics begin to emerge from the woodwork and Hisao gives Ayane a small telling off. (A gyoza is a type of Japanese filled dumpling)
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Act 2
Scene 6
“Don’t have to settle no goddamn score”
I’m awoken at half past eight in the freaking morning by a thunderous knocking on my dormitory door. I scowl and rise slowly from bed, slipping into my dressing gown as I do. I suspect the knocker isn’t male but either way better safe than sorry. Learnt that lesson after Hisao got a free show.
The knocking continues and I curse. “Hold your fucking horses, I’m coming!”
The knocking stops and Mishas distinctive voice comes from the other side “Mail call Ayachan! Shizune asks that you don’t swear though!”
Mail call on a Sunday? Unusual, but I still grumble under my breath, feeling rather sleepy as I open the door. I open my door and the student council greet me with morning greetings. I simply rub my eyes and sloppily sign [Morning] at the pair of them.
I get two letters thrust into my hand and I yawn widely. “Looks important Ayachan!” Misha chirps, signing at the same time, “Look at all the shiny gold letters!”
My heart drops like a stone at the sight of the envelops in my hands as Shizune signs [They look very important. Are they?]
“Probably” My tone is despondent and Misha looks worried.
“Bad news?” Misha asks softly.
I shake my head “No, just an obligation that’s more trouble than it’s worth. Some bad memories with it too” I admit. Misha still looks concerned but I just smile and then say enigmatically, “Best ask Shizune if she knows how to dance!” The pair’s confused expressions as I shut the door on them are priceless and I let out a small snigger as I go to my desk.
The two envelopes are a rich burgundy colour, the colour of spilled wine; made from a rich luxuriant paper, the envelopes almost feel like velvet under my hands. The gold embossed kanji on the front of both letters simply reads ‘For the attention of Tsukino Ayane, Yamaku academy’
I already know what lurks in these envelopes and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I sigh and open the smaller of the envelopes with a table knife I have lurking on my desk. Rich creamy white folded paper tumbles to my desk. There is more gold detailing on the paper, an embossed border around the edges of the paper that I can see even through the back of the paper.
I pick up the paper, which is just as soft to the touch as the envelope and unfurl it. It’s a hand written letter from my mother.
My dearest daughter Ayane,
I am writing to you hoping that you are in good health and doing well academically at Yamaku. I realise that we exchange emails regularly daughter dearest and by the time this gets to you, I know that I may have already learned how you have fared.
As you may have realized it is coming up to that time of year again Ayane. The time to fulfil certain familial obligations is upon you, Arashi and your half siblings and I expect you to fulfil them to the highest of standards.
Do not misunderstand me daughter there is no room for negotiation or disobedience here. This year you attend or face consequences. The same goes for all of your siblings as well. No more petty rebellions or teenage tantrums, this year you attend.
Enclosed in the second envelope are two invitations and two first class train tickets home dated for the evening before the three-day weekend, seven pm sharp. Your second invite is for a plus one daughter; I am giving you a small freedom in choosing your dance partner for the weekend. A small suggestion this time; daughter I highly recommend that you do not bring Jakuzure this time as your ball partner. It sends the wrong message.
Ideally speaking daughter, bring home a nice young man of good class. Yamaku academy is expensive so I am certain that there will be young men of a certain background (even with their possible... ailments) to choose from. Your uncles and grandparents would be most pleased at this turn of events.
This is your last and only warning daughter dearest.
Do not waste it.
Yours truly,
Your ever-loving mother,
Tsukino Tomiko
I snort with disgust and throw the letter down. As much as she is my blood mother I feel little to no affection towards her and this is one the reasons why. Thinly veiled insults towards my friends and myself and blatant obvious threats towards my education.
‘Fulfil familial obligations’. Translation: shut up and do as I tell you or you will suffer. She will follow through on that threat though I know she would and could follow through. I guess I have little to no choice this year, looks like my three-day weekend will be spent at the familial home and at the masquerade ball. Joy. Three days in the company of my delightfully toxic mother and rich stuffy snobs (Or as Akihiro would call them, a bunch of dull fuck wits who wouldn’t know which way to wipe their behind unless someone told them or did it for them)
Three whole stinking days with those people and their company. It’s going to be so much fun and joy of joys; it looks like my uncles will be there as well.
Yay.
Even more toxic members of my family I will have to spend time with. It’s like the saying goes; ‘You can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family’.
I know that all too well. Sometimes I wish that select members of my family would go die in a fire. Harsh I know but unfortunately all too true.
I open the second envelope. I already know what it contains. Two embossed, rigid pieces of card fall from the envelope and flutter to the top of my desk. One reads in delicate gold leaf; ‘Admit one Tsukino Ayane to the Tsukino charity masquerade ball’ There are fancy curling vines leaf motifs in each corner and the invitation smells of my mothers citrus perfume she likes. In my room its almost overpowering and I gag slightly at the smell.
The other invitation reads; ‘Admit one in the company of Tsukino Ayane to the Tsukino charity masquerade ball’ in the same fancy golden writing. I think it’s gold leaf and I cringe at the over the top display of wealth. Just like mother to show off. There is another envelope and it contains two first class train tickets dated for the evening before the three-day weekend, the train leaving at seven pm just like the letter stated.
It is way to early to be dealing with this stuff. Part of me is very tempted to simply burn the invitations and tickets then bury and dance on the ashes. That would cause more problems than it would solve though, I would simply be burying my head in the sand.
Better to grin and bear it for the three days. I only need to show my face for the ball, the rest of the time can be spent out of the house and in the city nearby well away from my mother and uncles. Cinema trips and other frivolities can eat up time away from home. The less time spent in the house the better especially for my sanity levels.
I then consider the other issue. I eye the ‘plus one’ invitation as one would eye a land mine, with great care and deliberation just so you don’t blow your own damn leg off. I think if I asked Hisao he would say yes to the invitation but would he be able to deal with my radioactive family? I have no doubt that mother would likely not approve of him and make Hisaos stay a difficult one but she can be a capricious individual at the best of times.
My extended family, apart from my siblings, is incredibly complicated. I know that there are massive skeletons lurking in closets, especially in regards to the relationship my mother and father had before Akiho and Akihiros mother died. There’s also the fact that most of my mothers relatives are incredibly shady. I know it sounds like something out of a bad soap opera but a lot of my uncles make a lot of money but no one has ever said exactly what it is they do.
I mean yes I’ve never asked and I’m sure they would have a perfectly good explanation if I asked but they’re the kind of people I would rather not talk to.
If I invite Hisao along I have no doubt that he may be dragged into family politics and possibly be used against me or vice versa.
I stalk over to my bed and flop down with a huff holding the invite in one hand. Difficult. Again if I do ask Hisao, he’d need a suit, he’d need to learn how to dance passably at least. I mean I’m sure Akiho and Akihiro would be willing to provide those things and I would chip in too but I’m not sure how Hisao would feel about charity.
I get the feeling that Hisao would equate charity to pity and my gut tells me Hisao doesn’t want anyone pitying him, as he’s had quite enough over the past few months.
My phone buzzes from my desk and I pick it up. Arashi.
His text reads ‘Just had post, assuming you’ve got the same. Put some tea on I’m coming over’. Ah. Brother wants to talk about this. I think it would be a good idea if we did.
I wander over my table and set some water boiling and rummage around on my desk for the lonely box of tea bags that I have. I find it and pop it in a mug, whilst preparing myself a coffee. I’ve just finished brewing the tea and taking my pills when there is a knock at my door. I stride over to the door and open it. Arashi looks a mess. His hairs all over the place, bloodshot eyes and his clothes are rather rumpled, looks like he came over in a hurry.
He seems rather agitated and stalks in, almost throwing himself into my desk chair. I raise one eyebrow at him and he just huffs a breath out and gestures at the kettle “It’s nearly there, just letting it brew” I assure him, finishing my coffee off with a loud gulp. “You get invitations too?”
Arashi nods and flashes two identical envelops at me. I nod and then ask “So what’s got you in a knot?” Arashi hands his letter over to me and I skim over it. It’s essentially the same as mine, blah, blah, blah… oh. I reread the last few paragraphs. “Is she serious?” I ask incredulously. Arashi nods and gives a silent sigh. “They’re thinking about possibly arranging a marriage for you? For a business merger?”
Arashi puts his head in his hands and does something I haven’t seen him do in a long time. He cries. Arashi cries in silence due to his muteness and it is always a heart-wrenching thing to see. I scoot over to him and wrap him in a hug. I can feel his whole body wrenching with shudders as he cries in my arms. I haven’t seen Arashi cry since the day of dads’ funeral, where I sung for the last time. I pat his back and just hold him until his great, shuddering sobs still under me. I finish preparing his tea and give it to him and he gives me a small grateful smile, his eyes even more bloodshot and red rimmed now. He drinks his tea as I ask softly “Feeling better now?”
Arashi slowly puts his tea down and then signs [A little. I still want to punch something though] he admits. [Just my luck] He signs suddenly. [Things are just starting to turn round with Shizune and then this hits me in the face]
“Whoa” I say holding my hands up, “As much as mother can be a giant bitch, she’s only saying it’s a possibility. Don’t start moping yet. Besides I’m assuming you have a plus one invitation in there too? So, mother mother must be at least hinting bring along someone, someone that she would approve of or not. Either way you can still bring someone, she's not married you off just yet!” Arashi gives me a single hesitant nod. “Then ask Shizune to the ball. I’m sure she’d be thrilled”
[I’m not going to ask her] He signs, a defiant look on his face.
“Why the hell not?” I splutter in disbelief.
[I haven’t even been on a date with her! I can’t just ask her to a fancy masquerade ball!] He exclaims throwing his arms in the air. [Are you going to invite your boy toy?] He asks, watching me through narrowed eyes.
“I’m not sure,” I admit. “I know he’d say yes if I asked him but I’m not sure it would be wise for Hisao to meet the rest of our delightful family”
Arashi signs his face falling further. He then gives one of his silent laughs and signs [if you ask Hisao to the ball, I’ll kiss Shizune in the middle of the cafeteria!]
The change of topic spins my head slightly, but I gain a devilish grin and sign [Shake on it!] Arashi looks vaguely bemused and then shakes my hand and the deal is sealed.
“Getting back on track,” I murmur, getting back to the original topic. “If I remember rightly, I remember hearing a rumour that Shizunes father is some big business big shot, rakes the money in. I’m pretty sure mother would approve. The only problem I can see occurring is well…” I trail off with a shrug as if to say ‘you know what I mean but I don’t want to say it’.
Arashi has no qualms about finishing the sentence. [The only problem is she’s like us.] There is a moment where he stops signing. [She’s like us. Crippled according to mother and we both know that mother is ashamed of us, it’s why she agreed with Dad about sending us here]
“Dad wanted what was best for us!” My voice has risen in volume and I can feel my teeth clenching and grinding.
[Mother had Dad wrapped around her little finger and you know it!] Arashi signs, rising to his feet, glaring daggers at me. [After you had your accident and lost your right eye, mother was ashamed of what had happened, so when Dad suggested we go here she jumped at the suggestion] I can feel myself trembling as he finishes the blow with [Lets face it both mother and father were ashamed of us, the cripple twins!]
“STOP IT!” I scream at him my voice rising in pitch. “STOP FUCKING TALKING! DAD WAS NEVER ASHAMED OF US!” Arashi reels from my voice and I can feel myself shaking my hands curled into fists. “Dad loved us Arashi,” I whisper into the stunned silence. “He loved us. He learned to sign for you along with me. He stormed into school when you were bullied, he held us when we cried, he helped us when we couldn’t carry on he was never, ever ashamed of us, so don’t you dare even suggest that. Mother is the one who is ashamed of our ailments and us; all Dads ever wanted was what was best for us! That’s why he sent us here so we could have the best opportunities we could have, so you could be in a school where you weren’t mocked at every turn!”
Arashi sits down with a thump and I can feel my left eye watering with tears. “Get out” I whisper. He looks at me blankly. ‘Get out” I say a little louder pointing at the door. “You’re my brother Arashi and I love you dearly but at the moment I am far too angry to be rational. Leave, now before I say something we’ll both regret” I point at the door and Arashi leaves quickly.
As he leaves he simply signs [I’m sorry]
As my door closes I bitterly whisper “Too fucking late for that brother” I glance over at the desk and his half full cup of tea is still on the desk. I feel a scream rising in my throat and in a sudden violent fit of rage; I grab the mug and hurl it against my wall. It shatters into pieces and the hot liquid sprays across my floor.
I sink to my carpet; my rage abating suddenly feeling oddly hollow as it deserts me. I haven’t argued with Arashi in years. As I sob into my hands, I feel a sudden stomach cramp flash across my abdomen.
Wonderful. As if I didn’t have enough to deal with Mother Nature decides it’s time for shark week.
I’m still kneeling on my floor when my door opens. I hear a gasp and I’m suddenly enveloped in Fujikos warm embrace. I turn in her arms and grasp her back, feeling my lips wobble as I try to hold back a sob. “I heard something breaking” Fuji says softly. “It woke me up and I thought you might be suddenly having a fit”
“S’not my epilepsy” I sniff.
“I can see that” Fujiko says dryly, “As you’re not having a seizure across your floor and I’m not screaming for the nurse” Her wry tone draws a small chuckle/sob from me and she runs her hand across my hair, trying to soothe me. “What happened?”
“Had a fight with Arashi” I say softly. “Bad one. He said something’s about Dad that I didn’t agree with”
Fujiko makes a noise of comprehension as I continue, “I told him to leave before I said something that we’d both regret, then smashed the mug he’d been using” I glance at the wall. There’s a dent and a stain and the tea has soaked into the carpet.
“Lets get you into the shower” Fujiko says softly, helping me to my feet. She gathers my toiletries for me and helps me into the shower. I’m standing under the water and she leaves me to wash, mentioning she needs to get something. I stand under the water blankly for a few moments wondering if Arashi had always felt that way about Dad. Had always held that feeling. Whilst I cried and wailed over memories of dad, had Arashi hated him for sending us here? Did he really think that Dad was ashamed of who we are?
There’s only one person whom can answer that question but I’m still too angry and bitter to ask him about it.
Was it only yesterday that I had been smiling and kissing Hisao? Guess the universe owed me some bad karma and now its being paid with interest. I shake my head as I lather my hair with shampoo. The situation with Arashi I will deal with once I’m calmer. He’s my brother and I love him but I need to reign in my own temper before I speak to him.
I’ll cool my jets for twenty-four hours and then after school tomorrow, we’ll talk. It seems like there are some things that need airing and discussing.
I towel myself down and walk back into my room to find Misha and Fujiko cleaning the cup and mess up. “Made a mess here!” Misha chirps, sponging something into my carpet. It smells like something you’d find in a hospital but it seems to be clearing the stain out of my carpet pretty well.
“Yeah” I say still mildly stunned, “Lost my temper and well you can see the result”
“Losing your temper eh Ayachan?” Misha says wagging one finger. I sigh and nod and she gives a small giggle. “It happens to the best of us. I saw Fuchan getting the cleaning bits so I decided to help her.”
“I thought Shizune would’ve been with you too” I remark.
“She went after Arachan” Misha says sadly “We saw him leave the dorms crying, so Shizune went after him” I wince and Misha sees so she just simply says “Ah. Family argument?” I nod stiffly.
“Happened because of the news we received today,” I said gruffly. “Summons to a family thing and Arashi got some startling information. He said something and it set me off. I told him to leave”
Misha nods slowly as Fujiko dumps shards of mug in the bin. “Bad news?”
“In a way” My tone of voice brooks no more enquiries and Misha falls silent and finishes cleaning my floor. “Thank you” I say. “Let me get dressed and I’ll make you breakfast as thanks”
“Oh you don’t –“
“I insist,” I say firmly as I dress.
Misha giggles and says impishly, “I can see why Fuchan says you have a nice butt Ayachan!” I feel myself flush crimson at the cheeky grin she has and I hurriedly dress myself to cover my body from Mishas roaming eyes.
I pin Fujiko with a look and she shrugs unrepentantly “What? I’m only stating the truth,” she says innocently. “But breakfast would be nice” I grunt and pull on a t-shirt and dress for the morning.
We leave my room and head to the dorm kitchen and I begin to whip something up for breakfast. It’s not much, some grilled fish and vegetables, some rice and some reheated miso soup. Fujiko makes us all some green tea whilst I work and we dig into breakfast at the table once it’s ready. The dorm is still fairly quiet as it’s not quite quarter past nine just yet and we eat in the quiet of the morning.
I finish eating first and wash my dishes up. I quickly head back to my room and break out some of my own ingredients from my very small fridge and head back to the kitchen. Misha and Fujiko have just finished washing their own dishes and are quietly conversing. I tune out the conversation and focus on preparing dishes. Nothing complex or show stopping just some good food for Hisao and me to share after the track meet.
I make some gyoza, fried rice and grill some more fish to go with the fried rice. I make some omelettes as an after thought and then cringing as I cheat, cook some ready prepared meat buns. I turn to find Misha and Fujiko simply watching me. “What?” I ask slightly gruffly, a little bemused by their looks.
“Did your brother teach you?” Misha asks, as she watches my hands work.
“Some” I say with a small shrug as I turn the gyoza over in the wok with some chopsticks. “A lot I learnt from my Dad. Akihiro learnt from Dad too. We all learnt a least a little from Dad. He insisted that we all know how to feed ourselves. I did a little work during holidays in one of Dads restaurants so I learnt a lot then too” I do not mention that it was in the very same restaurant where I lost the use of my right eye.
“Your Dad was a chef?” Misha asks.
“He was” Fujiko interjects. “Ayane has told me that her Dad ran several restaurants in England too, then opened up several restaurants in Japan when he emigrated. They’re still under Tsukino management I believe.” I nod in confirmation and Mishas mouth drops open in surprise.
“That’s a lot of restaurants Ayachan!” Misha exclaims.
I say nothing and eye Fujiko lightly. I know what she’s trying to do and in small drips and drabs I’m giving up more information about my father to other people. I pack up what I’ve cooked into boxes and stash them in the fridge. I can hear other people waking in the dorm so I finish washing my dishes and utensils and leave a note on my food. I’ll pick it up later I decide. I yawn and bid Fujiko and Misha goodbye and head back to my room.
End part one of: Don't have to settle no goddamn score
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Act 2
Scene 6
“Don’t have to settle no goddamn score”
I’m awoken at half past eight in the freaking morning by a thunderous knocking on my dormitory door. I scowl and rise slowly from bed, slipping into my dressing gown as I do. I suspect the knocker isn’t male but either way better safe than sorry. Learnt that lesson after Hisao got a free show.
The knocking continues and I curse. “Hold your fucking horses, I’m coming!”
The knocking stops and Mishas distinctive voice comes from the other side “Mail call Ayachan! Shizune asks that you don’t swear though!”
Mail call on a Sunday? Unusual, but I still grumble under my breath, feeling rather sleepy as I open the door. I open my door and the student council greet me with morning greetings. I simply rub my eyes and sloppily sign [Morning] at the pair of them.
I get two letters thrust into my hand and I yawn widely. “Looks important Ayachan!” Misha chirps, signing at the same time, “Look at all the shiny gold letters!”
My heart drops like a stone at the sight of the envelops in my hands as Shizune signs [They look very important. Are they?]
“Probably” My tone is despondent and Misha looks worried.
“Bad news?” Misha asks softly.
I shake my head “No, just an obligation that’s more trouble than it’s worth. Some bad memories with it too” I admit. Misha still looks concerned but I just smile and then say enigmatically, “Best ask Shizune if she knows how to dance!” The pair’s confused expressions as I shut the door on them are priceless and I let out a small snigger as I go to my desk.
The two envelopes are a rich burgundy colour, the colour of spilled wine; made from a rich luxuriant paper, the envelopes almost feel like velvet under my hands. The gold embossed kanji on the front of both letters simply reads ‘For the attention of Tsukino Ayane, Yamaku academy’
I already know what lurks in these envelopes and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I sigh and open the smaller of the envelopes with a table knife I have lurking on my desk. Rich creamy white folded paper tumbles to my desk. There is more gold detailing on the paper, an embossed border around the edges of the paper that I can see even through the back of the paper.
I pick up the paper, which is just as soft to the touch as the envelope and unfurl it. It’s a hand written letter from my mother.
My dearest daughter Ayane,
I am writing to you hoping that you are in good health and doing well academically at Yamaku. I realise that we exchange emails regularly daughter dearest and by the time this gets to you, I know that I may have already learned how you have fared.
As you may have realized it is coming up to that time of year again Ayane. The time to fulfil certain familial obligations is upon you, Arashi and your half siblings and I expect you to fulfil them to the highest of standards.
Do not misunderstand me daughter there is no room for negotiation or disobedience here. This year you attend or face consequences. The same goes for all of your siblings as well. No more petty rebellions or teenage tantrums, this year you attend.
Enclosed in the second envelope are two invitations and two first class train tickets home dated for the evening before the three-day weekend, seven pm sharp. Your second invite is for a plus one daughter; I am giving you a small freedom in choosing your dance partner for the weekend. A small suggestion this time; daughter I highly recommend that you do not bring Jakuzure this time as your ball partner. It sends the wrong message.
Ideally speaking daughter, bring home a nice young man of good class. Yamaku academy is expensive so I am certain that there will be young men of a certain background (even with their possible... ailments) to choose from. Your uncles and grandparents would be most pleased at this turn of events.
This is your last and only warning daughter dearest.
Do not waste it.
Yours truly,
Your ever-loving mother,
Tsukino Tomiko
I snort with disgust and throw the letter down. As much as she is my blood mother I feel little to no affection towards her and this is one the reasons why. Thinly veiled insults towards my friends and myself and blatant obvious threats towards my education.
‘Fulfil familial obligations’. Translation: shut up and do as I tell you or you will suffer. She will follow through on that threat though I know she would and could follow through. I guess I have little to no choice this year, looks like my three-day weekend will be spent at the familial home and at the masquerade ball. Joy. Three days in the company of my delightfully toxic mother and rich stuffy snobs (Or as Akihiro would call them, a bunch of dull fuck wits who wouldn’t know which way to wipe their behind unless someone told them or did it for them)
Three whole stinking days with those people and their company. It’s going to be so much fun and joy of joys; it looks like my uncles will be there as well.
Yay.
Even more toxic members of my family I will have to spend time with. It’s like the saying goes; ‘You can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family’.
I know that all too well. Sometimes I wish that select members of my family would go die in a fire. Harsh I know but unfortunately all too true.
I open the second envelope. I already know what it contains. Two embossed, rigid pieces of card fall from the envelope and flutter to the top of my desk. One reads in delicate gold leaf; ‘Admit one Tsukino Ayane to the Tsukino charity masquerade ball’ There are fancy curling vines leaf motifs in each corner and the invitation smells of my mothers citrus perfume she likes. In my room its almost overpowering and I gag slightly at the smell.
The other invitation reads; ‘Admit one in the company of Tsukino Ayane to the Tsukino charity masquerade ball’ in the same fancy golden writing. I think it’s gold leaf and I cringe at the over the top display of wealth. Just like mother to show off. There is another envelope and it contains two first class train tickets dated for the evening before the three-day weekend, the train leaving at seven pm just like the letter stated.
It is way to early to be dealing with this stuff. Part of me is very tempted to simply burn the invitations and tickets then bury and dance on the ashes. That would cause more problems than it would solve though, I would simply be burying my head in the sand.
Better to grin and bear it for the three days. I only need to show my face for the ball, the rest of the time can be spent out of the house and in the city nearby well away from my mother and uncles. Cinema trips and other frivolities can eat up time away from home. The less time spent in the house the better especially for my sanity levels.
I then consider the other issue. I eye the ‘plus one’ invitation as one would eye a land mine, with great care and deliberation just so you don’t blow your own damn leg off. I think if I asked Hisao he would say yes to the invitation but would he be able to deal with my radioactive family? I have no doubt that mother would likely not approve of him and make Hisaos stay a difficult one but she can be a capricious individual at the best of times.
My extended family, apart from my siblings, is incredibly complicated. I know that there are massive skeletons lurking in closets, especially in regards to the relationship my mother and father had before Akiho and Akihiros mother died. There’s also the fact that most of my mothers relatives are incredibly shady. I know it sounds like something out of a bad soap opera but a lot of my uncles make a lot of money but no one has ever said exactly what it is they do.
I mean yes I’ve never asked and I’m sure they would have a perfectly good explanation if I asked but they’re the kind of people I would rather not talk to.
If I invite Hisao along I have no doubt that he may be dragged into family politics and possibly be used against me or vice versa.
I stalk over to my bed and flop down with a huff holding the invite in one hand. Difficult. Again if I do ask Hisao, he’d need a suit, he’d need to learn how to dance passably at least. I mean I’m sure Akiho and Akihiro would be willing to provide those things and I would chip in too but I’m not sure how Hisao would feel about charity.
I get the feeling that Hisao would equate charity to pity and my gut tells me Hisao doesn’t want anyone pitying him, as he’s had quite enough over the past few months.
My phone buzzes from my desk and I pick it up. Arashi.
His text reads ‘Just had post, assuming you’ve got the same. Put some tea on I’m coming over’. Ah. Brother wants to talk about this. I think it would be a good idea if we did.
I wander over my table and set some water boiling and rummage around on my desk for the lonely box of tea bags that I have. I find it and pop it in a mug, whilst preparing myself a coffee. I’ve just finished brewing the tea and taking my pills when there is a knock at my door. I stride over to the door and open it. Arashi looks a mess. His hairs all over the place, bloodshot eyes and his clothes are rather rumpled, looks like he came over in a hurry.
He seems rather agitated and stalks in, almost throwing himself into my desk chair. I raise one eyebrow at him and he just huffs a breath out and gestures at the kettle “It’s nearly there, just letting it brew” I assure him, finishing my coffee off with a loud gulp. “You get invitations too?”
Arashi nods and flashes two identical envelops at me. I nod and then ask “So what’s got you in a knot?” Arashi hands his letter over to me and I skim over it. It’s essentially the same as mine, blah, blah, blah… oh. I reread the last few paragraphs. “Is she serious?” I ask incredulously. Arashi nods and gives a silent sigh. “They’re thinking about possibly arranging a marriage for you? For a business merger?”
Arashi puts his head in his hands and does something I haven’t seen him do in a long time. He cries. Arashi cries in silence due to his muteness and it is always a heart-wrenching thing to see. I scoot over to him and wrap him in a hug. I can feel his whole body wrenching with shudders as he cries in my arms. I haven’t seen Arashi cry since the day of dads’ funeral, where I sung for the last time. I pat his back and just hold him until his great, shuddering sobs still under me. I finish preparing his tea and give it to him and he gives me a small grateful smile, his eyes even more bloodshot and red rimmed now. He drinks his tea as I ask softly “Feeling better now?”
Arashi slowly puts his tea down and then signs [A little. I still want to punch something though] he admits. [Just my luck] He signs suddenly. [Things are just starting to turn round with Shizune and then this hits me in the face]
“Whoa” I say holding my hands up, “As much as mother can be a giant bitch, she’s only saying it’s a possibility. Don’t start moping yet. Besides I’m assuming you have a plus one invitation in there too? So, mother mother must be at least hinting bring along someone, someone that she would approve of or not. Either way you can still bring someone, she's not married you off just yet!” Arashi gives me a single hesitant nod. “Then ask Shizune to the ball. I’m sure she’d be thrilled”
[I’m not going to ask her] He signs, a defiant look on his face.
“Why the hell not?” I splutter in disbelief.
[I haven’t even been on a date with her! I can’t just ask her to a fancy masquerade ball!] He exclaims throwing his arms in the air. [Are you going to invite your boy toy?] He asks, watching me through narrowed eyes.
“I’m not sure,” I admit. “I know he’d say yes if I asked him but I’m not sure it would be wise for Hisao to meet the rest of our delightful family”
Arashi signs his face falling further. He then gives one of his silent laughs and signs [if you ask Hisao to the ball, I’ll kiss Shizune in the middle of the cafeteria!]
The change of topic spins my head slightly, but I gain a devilish grin and sign [Shake on it!] Arashi looks vaguely bemused and then shakes my hand and the deal is sealed.
“Getting back on track,” I murmur, getting back to the original topic. “If I remember rightly, I remember hearing a rumour that Shizunes father is some big business big shot, rakes the money in. I’m pretty sure mother would approve. The only problem I can see occurring is well…” I trail off with a shrug as if to say ‘you know what I mean but I don’t want to say it’.
Arashi has no qualms about finishing the sentence. [The only problem is she’s like us.] There is a moment where he stops signing. [She’s like us. Crippled according to mother and we both know that mother is ashamed of us, it’s why she agreed with Dad about sending us here]
“Dad wanted what was best for us!” My voice has risen in volume and I can feel my teeth clenching and grinding.
[Mother had Dad wrapped around her little finger and you know it!] Arashi signs, rising to his feet, glaring daggers at me. [After you had your accident and lost your right eye, mother was ashamed of what had happened, so when Dad suggested we go here she jumped at the suggestion] I can feel myself trembling as he finishes the blow with [Lets face it both mother and father were ashamed of us, the cripple twins!]
“STOP IT!” I scream at him my voice rising in pitch. “STOP FUCKING TALKING! DAD WAS NEVER ASHAMED OF US!” Arashi reels from my voice and I can feel myself shaking my hands curled into fists. “Dad loved us Arashi,” I whisper into the stunned silence. “He loved us. He learned to sign for you along with me. He stormed into school when you were bullied, he held us when we cried, he helped us when we couldn’t carry on he was never, ever ashamed of us, so don’t you dare even suggest that. Mother is the one who is ashamed of our ailments and us; all Dads ever wanted was what was best for us! That’s why he sent us here so we could have the best opportunities we could have, so you could be in a school where you weren’t mocked at every turn!”
Arashi sits down with a thump and I can feel my left eye watering with tears. “Get out” I whisper. He looks at me blankly. ‘Get out” I say a little louder pointing at the door. “You’re my brother Arashi and I love you dearly but at the moment I am far too angry to be rational. Leave, now before I say something we’ll both regret” I point at the door and Arashi leaves quickly.
As he leaves he simply signs [I’m sorry]
As my door closes I bitterly whisper “Too fucking late for that brother” I glance over at the desk and his half full cup of tea is still on the desk. I feel a scream rising in my throat and in a sudden violent fit of rage; I grab the mug and hurl it against my wall. It shatters into pieces and the hot liquid sprays across my floor.
I sink to my carpet; my rage abating suddenly feeling oddly hollow as it deserts me. I haven’t argued with Arashi in years. As I sob into my hands, I feel a sudden stomach cramp flash across my abdomen.
Wonderful. As if I didn’t have enough to deal with Mother Nature decides it’s time for shark week.
I’m still kneeling on my floor when my door opens. I hear a gasp and I’m suddenly enveloped in Fujikos warm embrace. I turn in her arms and grasp her back, feeling my lips wobble as I try to hold back a sob. “I heard something breaking” Fuji says softly. “It woke me up and I thought you might be suddenly having a fit”
“S’not my epilepsy” I sniff.
“I can see that” Fujiko says dryly, “As you’re not having a seizure across your floor and I’m not screaming for the nurse” Her wry tone draws a small chuckle/sob from me and she runs her hand across my hair, trying to soothe me. “What happened?”
“Had a fight with Arashi” I say softly. “Bad one. He said something’s about Dad that I didn’t agree with”
Fujiko makes a noise of comprehension as I continue, “I told him to leave before I said something that we’d both regret, then smashed the mug he’d been using” I glance at the wall. There’s a dent and a stain and the tea has soaked into the carpet.
“Lets get you into the shower” Fujiko says softly, helping me to my feet. She gathers my toiletries for me and helps me into the shower. I’m standing under the water and she leaves me to wash, mentioning she needs to get something. I stand under the water blankly for a few moments wondering if Arashi had always felt that way about Dad. Had always held that feeling. Whilst I cried and wailed over memories of dad, had Arashi hated him for sending us here? Did he really think that Dad was ashamed of who we are?
There’s only one person whom can answer that question but I’m still too angry and bitter to ask him about it.
Was it only yesterday that I had been smiling and kissing Hisao? Guess the universe owed me some bad karma and now its being paid with interest. I shake my head as I lather my hair with shampoo. The situation with Arashi I will deal with once I’m calmer. He’s my brother and I love him but I need to reign in my own temper before I speak to him.
I’ll cool my jets for twenty-four hours and then after school tomorrow, we’ll talk. It seems like there are some things that need airing and discussing.
I towel myself down and walk back into my room to find Misha and Fujiko cleaning the cup and mess up. “Made a mess here!” Misha chirps, sponging something into my carpet. It smells like something you’d find in a hospital but it seems to be clearing the stain out of my carpet pretty well.
“Yeah” I say still mildly stunned, “Lost my temper and well you can see the result”
“Losing your temper eh Ayachan?” Misha says wagging one finger. I sigh and nod and she gives a small giggle. “It happens to the best of us. I saw Fuchan getting the cleaning bits so I decided to help her.”
“I thought Shizune would’ve been with you too” I remark.
“She went after Arachan” Misha says sadly “We saw him leave the dorms crying, so Shizune went after him” I wince and Misha sees so she just simply says “Ah. Family argument?” I nod stiffly.
“Happened because of the news we received today,” I said gruffly. “Summons to a family thing and Arashi got some startling information. He said something and it set me off. I told him to leave”
Misha nods slowly as Fujiko dumps shards of mug in the bin. “Bad news?”
“In a way” My tone of voice brooks no more enquiries and Misha falls silent and finishes cleaning my floor. “Thank you” I say. “Let me get dressed and I’ll make you breakfast as thanks”
“Oh you don’t –“
“I insist,” I say firmly as I dress.
Misha giggles and says impishly, “I can see why Fuchan says you have a nice butt Ayachan!” I feel myself flush crimson at the cheeky grin she has and I hurriedly dress myself to cover my body from Mishas roaming eyes.
I pin Fujiko with a look and she shrugs unrepentantly “What? I’m only stating the truth,” she says innocently. “But breakfast would be nice” I grunt and pull on a t-shirt and dress for the morning.
We leave my room and head to the dorm kitchen and I begin to whip something up for breakfast. It’s not much, some grilled fish and vegetables, some rice and some reheated miso soup. Fujiko makes us all some green tea whilst I work and we dig into breakfast at the table once it’s ready. The dorm is still fairly quiet as it’s not quite quarter past nine just yet and we eat in the quiet of the morning.
I finish eating first and wash my dishes up. I quickly head back to my room and break out some of my own ingredients from my very small fridge and head back to the kitchen. Misha and Fujiko have just finished washing their own dishes and are quietly conversing. I tune out the conversation and focus on preparing dishes. Nothing complex or show stopping just some good food for Hisao and me to share after the track meet.
I make some gyoza, fried rice and grill some more fish to go with the fried rice. I make some omelettes as an after thought and then cringing as I cheat, cook some ready prepared meat buns. I turn to find Misha and Fujiko simply watching me. “What?” I ask slightly gruffly, a little bemused by their looks.
“Did your brother teach you?” Misha asks, as she watches my hands work.
“Some” I say with a small shrug as I turn the gyoza over in the wok with some chopsticks. “A lot I learnt from my Dad. Akihiro learnt from Dad too. We all learnt a least a little from Dad. He insisted that we all know how to feed ourselves. I did a little work during holidays in one of Dads restaurants so I learnt a lot then too” I do not mention that it was in the very same restaurant where I lost the use of my right eye.
“Your Dad was a chef?” Misha asks.
“He was” Fujiko interjects. “Ayane has told me that her Dad ran several restaurants in England too, then opened up several restaurants in Japan when he emigrated. They’re still under Tsukino management I believe.” I nod in confirmation and Mishas mouth drops open in surprise.
“That’s a lot of restaurants Ayachan!” Misha exclaims.
I say nothing and eye Fujiko lightly. I know what she’s trying to do and in small drips and drabs I’m giving up more information about my father to other people. I pack up what I’ve cooked into boxes and stash them in the fridge. I can hear other people waking in the dorm so I finish washing my dishes and utensils and leave a note on my food. I’ll pick it up later I decide. I yawn and bid Fujiko and Misha goodbye and head back to my room.
End part one of: Don't have to settle no goddamn score