For Want of a Nail - Misha Route (Updated 11/1/19)

[Comrade]

I was going to comment about insanity, but then misha happend.

Misha would look good in red

[badmanslayer04]

I want a Misha for Christmas

[ChrisTheCat]

I want a Misha for Christmas

Cue rendition of 'All I Want for Christmas is You'.

[Mader Levap]

If Hisao has half of brain, he should talk to Shizune, and both of them to Misha.

[ChrisTheCat]

If Hisao has half a brain, he should talk to Shizune, and both of them to Misha.

Fixed it for you.

[Mader Levap]

If Hisao has half a brain, he should talk to Shizune, and both of them to Misha.

Fixed it for you.

PM is enough for this.

[ChrisTheCat]

If Hisao has half a brain, he should talk to Shizune, and both of them to Misha.

Fixed it for you.

PM is enough for this.

Ah. Right. Erm...sorry.

[Hoitash]

Well, that went well

Very nice, and its also nice when Hisao thinks before acting. He's never struck me as good with impulse decisions.

[FlyingRiceBowl]

Can't wait to read more of this, it is a good read.

[ProfAllister]

Misha is gone. And here I am, trying to figure out what went wrong. It’s probably only been five minutes since she left, but it feels like I’ve been sitting here for hours.

It can't be that she doesn't like me. She said as much. And when it comes down to it, she kissed me, rather than the other way around. She said I was making a mistake. What did I do wrong?

Should I have followed her? It felt like a bad idea at the time, but now, I'm wondering if I made the right choice. Did she want me to follow her? Did I accidentally tell her I wasn't really interested by letting her leave?

I need to think. But first, I need to clear my head. I can't swim, though. It's dangerous to go alone. And the pool will likely get me to think about this more, not less. So I turn to my older coping method. The library should still be open.

*

Damn it, this isn't working!

Sign language books make me think about our lessons, science books make me think of the study sessions, and fiction just reminds me how stupidly simplistic relationships are in stories. The guy likes the girl, the girl likes the guy, and they get together. The only impediments are evil magistrates and impending doom. None of this “I like you but we can't be together because shut up” bullshit.

What is her problem? Why couldn't she just tell me what was wrong?

“Um... E-excuse me. P-please don't do that to the book...”

Yuuko's voice brings me back to the present. I seem to have crumpled a page in my fist in the middle of turning it. I feel terrible for vandalizing school property, but the book probably had it coming. I mumble an apology and try to smooth the page, but the damage is done. Those wrinkles and creases are probably there for good. I don’t think Yuuko will make me pay for it, even if the rules do require it.

“Also, I need to close the library, so could you please finish-”

“Yuuko,” I begin, turning around to face her, “you survived high school, right? Is it okay if I ask you for some advice?”

Yuuko’s eyes dart from side to side, looking for an escape. She clearly wasn’t ready for my question, and would probably do anything to be somewhere else right now. She always panics, though, so that's normal. “Um... well... I guess I did get through high school, and I didn't die, so I guess I did survive... I can try to help you, but I don't think I'll be very good at it...”

I've learned that smiles can be very useful when it comes to cheering people up and getting them to help you out, so I decide to give Yuuko one that I hope is convincing. “You're probably better at it than you think.”

She returns my smile nervously. “If you say so...”

I guess I should just lay it all out on the table. “What does it mean when a girl and a boy like each other, and they tell each other so, but the girl says it's wrong? And a mistake?”

Yuuko begins studying her nails. I get the impression she probably bites them. Never when anyone might be looking, of course. “Well, I think... I think I'd agree with the girl.”

What?

“It's generally a bad idea for students and teachers to date.”

I sigh. “That... wasn't what I was implying. The girl and the boy are the same age. Both students.”

“Oh.” Yuuko looks disappointed. Disappointed that she got it wrong, or that it isn't anything scandalous? Probably the former. “In that case, I'm not really sure. I guess it’s not anything else weird, either? The girl could be lying to the boy, because she likes someone else, maybe. Or maybe someone's blackmailing her? I... I don't really know. I actually haven't had much experience with relationships myself.” She smiles half-heartedly. “Sorry.”

Neither of those seems to make sense. If she liked someone else, she wouldn't have kissed me like that. She didn’t passively accept my kiss; she pulled me closer because I was going too slow. And blackmail sounds a bit far-fetched.

“It's okay,” I lie, “you've been a great help. Thanks.”

“I'm glad I could help, then. I think... in the end, what matters is that the boy keeps at it. He should at least find out what’s wrong...” She doesn't look glad. She looks like she wants the conversation to end before I try asking her anything else. Afraid to impose on me, even when her job requires it, she repeats her request from earlier. “I really need to close the library now, so could you-”

“Go? Yeah, I was just on my way out.”

*

I just wander aimlessly for a while. No matter how I look at it, there's no rhyme or reason to Misha’s behavior.

It's getting close to curfew, so I should probably head to my room. I doubt I'll be able to sleep, but I'm in no mood to get a lecture from one of the security guards, so I don't really have a choice.

And then it occurs to me that there is another option. It probably won't explain anything. In fact, I hope it won't explain anything. But it should at least be able to distract me from my current problems...

I can't believe I'm doing this.

There is really no reason I should be doing this. It's insane

On the other hand, when nothing makes any sense, it's only natural to seek refuge in the things that never made any sense to begin with.

I knock on Kenji's door. No response, of course. Sighing, I mumble the password he gave me. Why he decided the password should be “sugar dumpling” is beyond me, but he is the criminal mastermind, so to speak. Unless he actually is a criminal mastermind. I wouldn't put it past him.

Before I finish speaking, there's rapid flurry of locks popping open almost simultaneously, and Kenji appears, furious. “What the hell are you doing, man? What if they heard you? Did you even bother checking for bugs?”

So I was supposed to tell him the password without telling him the password? This is Kenji we're talking about. He has a point, though. What the hell am I doing?

“Whoa, dude, you look like shit. Did a band of feminist thugs beat you up and shove you into that hideous sweatervest?”

Great. My fashion sense is being criticised by the blind guy who wears a scarf in the Summer. That's not important right now. Swallowing my pride, I admit, to myself and to Kenji, why I’m here. “A while back... you said something about... puppets?”

I cringe as I hear the words leaving my mouth. Nope, doesn't sound any less crazy or pathetic after saying it out loud.

Kenji smiles unnervingly and adjusts his glasses with the confidence of someone who’s never admitted defeat. “I thought you'd never ask. Come inside. We have much to discuss.”

He beckons me to enter in an overly elaborate fashion, like a butler bidding entrance to a mansion. His room is a mess of old pizza boxes, scattered bedding and all sorts of books, from science fiction to economic theory to political philosophy. The left wall is dominated by a massive television, and he has a fancy-looking computer tucked into one of the back corners. Everywhere I look, including the walls and ceiling, there's stuff.

While I stand in the middle of his room, overwhelmed by the assault on my senses, Kenji shuts the door and engages the locks. With a call of “Heads up,” Kenji tosses something at me. At my head, in fact. I barely catch it. A bottle of whiskey?

“Help yourself,” he advises, “You need it after your run-in with that kill squad. Also, this is going to take a while. I think you're ready to be let in on the Epsilon-Beta level stuff. I'm warning you now, you could be killed just for knowing that Epsilon-Beta exists, so keep an eye out.”

Obliging, I take a swig and nearly gag. If you set turpentine on fire and drank that, it would probably be a more pleasant experience. Alcohol makes you forget, right? If I don’t need to do that now, I certainly will after this puppet show. Bottoms up, I guess.

...

This may just be the whiskey talking, but Kenji's theories are actually starting to make sense. And the puppets are surprisingly well-made...

I feel a hand clasp my shoulder. “You know dude, I'm glad I met you.”

“Huh?”

I hadn't realized that the puppet manifesto ended.

His smile will inhabit my nightmares for years to come. “You know what it's all about, you understand that we men have to stick together.”

“...I guess so.”

There's a moment of silence as we enjoy each other’s company. Well, he enjoys my company while I start desperately thinking of an excuse to escape before he decides we need to celebrate with a pizza, my treat. My prayers are answered by loud booming noise.

“Shit! They're on to us! We're under attack! Duck and cover!”

Somehow, Kenji managed to find and don a military surplus kevlar helmet in the time between the knocking sound and his dramatic dive under some loose couch cushions. I wonder if there's a couch hiding somewhere in this mess.

He offers me an unwashed pot, crusted with the dried remains of whatever was last cooked in it. “Wear this. Flying shrapnel can be dangerous.”

I glance skeptically at the pot. “I think it's just someone knocking on my door.”

“You aren't gonna answer it, are you? That's exactly what they'd expect you to do!”

“But they won't expect me answering them from behind.”

“Damn, you're right, they wouldn't expect that. Unless they are expecting it and are waiting to ambush us once you come out. And then they might see the big board!”

Right. That monstrosity. Candid photographs of every girl on campus, many in various states of undress, connected by colored string and pushpins. Each photo has ton of hastily scrawled notes, including height, weight, blood type, measurements, likes and dislikes. Nothing about disabilities, surprisingly enough. If it were anyone other than Kenji, I'd guess he was some sort of creepy stalker. Since it is Kenji, it strikes me as more disturbing, but less perverted. I tear my eyes away. If I stare too deeply into that abyss...

“It's a risk I'm willing to take. Sacrifices will need to be made if we want any hope of victory.”

Kenji sighs in defeat, then stands at attention and gives me a smart salute. “Alright, dude. You're a better man than me. Figuratively, of course. I am the pinnacle of evolution, but you almost come close.”

If he's the pinnacle of human evolution, it might be better to give up humanity for lost. I'm kind of terrified with how easy it is to convince him to let me go. I hope I'm not starting to think like him... Another series of loud knocks echos out.

Kenji undoes the latches one by one, then silently motions for me to come to the door. With a surprising speed and fluidity, he opens the door, shoves me out, and shuts it right behind me. The locks quickly click back into place.

I stumble forward and lightly crash into the whoever was knocking, pushing the other person into my door. He probably planned it that way. I'm a little shocked to learn the identity of my visitor – it's Shizune.

She leans against the door for a couple seconds, then turns around slowly, a terrifying scowl on her face. She looks pissed. She sniffs the air and her expression hardens.

I greet her with the question already on my mind. [What are you doing here? Isn't it past curfew?]

[It is past curfew, and you've been drinking. Who do you think will get in more trouble?] There's a glint of challenge in her eyes, but it's not a game this time.

Between Kenji's unwelcome familiarity and the surprise of Shizune's visit, I've sobered up rather quickly, but my head still feels like it's in a bit of a fog. [Okay, you win. What's up?]

Somehow, she manages to make herself look even angrier, glowering as she replies. [I can barely understand what you're saying. So irresponsible. Open your door. I'm not going to talk to you in the hallway.]

I'm in no condition to argue, and Shizune can be scary on good days, so she's downright terrifying right now. I fumble with my keys, and fail at my first few attempts to unlock the door. Once the lock releases, she lets herself in before I can open the door myself, wrenching the keys from my hand. She takes a full assessment of my room as I retrieve my keys from the doorknob. So much for keeping my heart problems a secret. Eighteen pill bottles on the nightstand speak for themselves.

[Close the door.]

I comply, not sure where this is going.

[Sit down.]

I carefully grab the desk chair and obey. She stands in the middle of the room, her icy glare fixed directly on me.

[Now tell me what the hell you did to Misha.]

I blink. What I did to Misha? [What do you mean?]

She frowns in annoyance. [You made Misha cry. Misha never gets upset. What. Did. You. Do?]

[You didn't ask her?]

Shizune slices the air with her hands as she signs a furious response. [Of course I asked her! She was too upset to talk. Now stop avoiding the question!]

I put my head in my hands. None of this makes sense. May as well tell Shizune the truth and hope for the best. Lowering my hands and meeting her eyes, I give my answer. [I kissed her.]

That's not enough to satisfy her, obviously. [And then?]

[And then nothing!] I get angry just thinking about it. [We kissed, then she got upset and yelled at me for making a mistake and ran away! If you know why that would make her cry, then by all means, let me in on the secret. If not, leave me alone. I didn't do anything wrong.]

She looks startled for a moment, as if she wasn't expecting that. The fire has left her and she steps backward, sinking to a sitting position on the edge of my bed. After a moment of recovery, her head rises, a wry grin appearing on her face. [It's about damn time.]

[What's that supposed to mean?]

She covers her mouth and shakes, as if she were silently laughing. [It's cute how oblivious you two are. There were precisely two people here at school who didn't know you and Misha were head over heels for each other. Faculty included.]

I'm glad to see she's enjoying herself. [And how does that relate to me making Misha cry?]

Shizune avoids my gaze, playing with her hands as if trying to decide what to say. [That... may have been my fault.]

I nod for her to continue, which she reluctantly does. [Back around the time we first met, at the Shanghai, Imighthavesaidyouwerekindofcute.] She rushes through that last bit, blushing slightly. Composing herself, she resumes signing. [Misha decided that that meant I was hopelessly in love with you.] She rolls her eyes to emphasise the ridiculousness of that idea. Gee, Shizune, thanks.

I think I see where this is going. [So that means-]

[That Misha wanted you to fall in love with me, yes.] So dry and businesslike, as if discussing the weather. [It was a lost cause, though. As early as the festival it was clear that you only had eyes for her.]

I wish someone would have told me that. It would have made things a bit easier on me. [But what about Misha? If she was interested in me, why was she trying to set me up with you?]

Shizune looks somewhat uncomfortable as she tries to find an excuse to not answer that question. [You'd have to ask Misha yourself. All I know is that there was only one other person who Misha looked at the way she looks at you. She tries to hide it, though. And she's quite good at it, too.]

I don't think I can let that bit go without comment. [Someone else?]

She shifts nervously, then starts smoothing the wrinkles caused by her sitting on my bed. Finally, she replies. [About a year ago, she had her heart broken. She fell in love with someone who couldn't... wouldn't return her feelings.]

That's odd. I don't think I've ever seen Shizune correct herself before...

For a moment, Shizune seems lost in thought, but it passes quickly. [If I had to guess, I'd say it's because Misha doesn't think about herself. She spends all her time thinking about others.]

That makes a lot of sense. Come to think of it, I can't think of a time that she really pushed for something just because she wanted to do it. It's always been for someone else's sake. Except maybe eating...

With a gentle smile, Shizune continues. [Seeing the way you treat Misha gave me some perspective. I had been taking her for granted. She was always there for me, and never spent any time on her own wants or needs. And I didn't either.]

With her conclusion, she slumps her shoulders and looks away from me, clearly ashamed of her behavior. Her signing only stops for a moment, though. She turns her eyes toward me apologetically as she resumes. [I wanted to make it up to her, so I decided that I'd help you confess to her.]

With a mocking grin, she adds, [You were doing a pretty terrible job of it on your own. You probably wouldn't have said anything until Tanabata, at the earliest.]

That's hardly fair. [I don't recall you helping. What did you ever do that would have made a difference?]

With a petulant pout, she replies, [Among other things, I set you up for a romantic date. Or does that not count?]

Romantic date? [You mean today? You lied about having to leave for Student Council business?]

[It wasn't a lie. Getting you to confess to Misha is Student Council business. You're both on the Student Council. The phone messages were fake, though, so you get partial credit.] Shizune adjusts her glasses proudly, as if her deception were some sort of victory.

I can't hold it in any longer. [Does any of this even matter? In case you forgot, Misha rejected me! She thinks you love me, and that's why she's crying right now! That's not the kind of thing where you just say 'oops' and pretend it never happened!]

She looks like she was physically hurt by my outburst. Somehow, I can’t muster any pity for her. She toys with her fingers as she thinks of something to say. [...It might not be that bad.] After another lull, she brightens. [I have an idea! If you tell me exactly what happened, I might know what to do!] She smiles and adjusts her glasses. [I've known her for a long time now, so I could help.]

I can't believe she's serious about this. I don't even think I care anymore. [Whatever.]

Shizune leans forward, excited to be the first to “hear” some juicy gossip. I figured as much. [So, when did you confess? Was it over dinner? After dessert?]

She just can't take a hint. Or won't. [After we got back here. In the garden.]

That revelation earns me a frown. [Boring! And so wasteful, after I gave you a romantic date, too.]

I look directly into her eyes. [I didn't confess during the “date” because we expected you to come back any minute. I didn't think you would have appreciated that.]

From her reaction, that never occurred to her. [You're right. I probably would have been a little annoyed by that. Happy for you, but annoyed. You're like Misha, you're good at thinking about other people.] Her eyes move down to her hands in mild introspection. [I'm bad at it. I can think about people in general, but I have trouble when it comes to specific people.] When she looks up, she's wearing an excited grin. [But that's the best part! I can't predict it, so it keeps me guessing.]

No matter how I try, she just doesn't get it. [People aren't toys. No matter how much you enjoy guessing, it leaves the rest of us with real problems.]

Shizune gives me a pained look. [I'm sorry. Really. I'll try to help make it right. I want you and Misha to be happy.]

[Well you can start by leaving. I need to get some sleep.]

Complying, Shizune gives me one last backward glance, looking like a lost puppy. That I kicked. A small part of me says that I should apologize, but I tell that part to shut up and mind its own business.

After Shizune closes the door behind her, I get changed, turn out the lights, and throw myself into bed.

It’s been a long day, and I’m exhausted - physically, mentally, and emotionally. Things couldn’t have possibly gone any worse.

Act 2 Scene 7 Part 2 | Act 2 Scene 9

[FlyingRiceBowl]

. It's dangerous to go alone.

Legend of Zelda, anyone?

[ProfAllister]

I want a Misha for Christmas

Cue rendition of 'All I Want for Christmas is You'.

You're a better person than I. My first thought was "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas". :p

And just a heads up: especially being in the middle of the holiday festivities and all, I don't think I can guarantee consistent updates in the immediate future. Barring unexpected complications, I imagine I'll be able to finish Act 2 before taking a break, but there may be a week or two before act 3 starts up.

[Mader Levap]

Right. That monstrosity. Candid photographs of every girl on campus, many in various states of undress, connected by colored string and pushpins. Each photo has ton of hastily scrawled notes, including height, weight, blood type, measurements, likes and dislikes. Nothing about disabilities, surprisingly enough. If it were anyone other than Kenji, I'd guess he was some sort of creepy stalker. Since it is Kenji, it strikes me as more disturbing, but less perverted.

This is... disturbingly believable.

[ChrisTheCat]

I want a Misha for Christmas

Cue rendition of 'All I Want for Christmas is You'.

You're a better person than I. My first thought was "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas". :p

And just a heads up: especially being in the middle of the holiday festivities and all, I don't think I can guarantee consistent updates in the immediate future. Barring unexpected complications, I imagine I'll be able to finish Act 2 before taking a break, but there may be a week or two before act 3 starts up.

Normally, I would instantaneously agree with anything that paints me in a positive light, but I really doubt I'm the better person. If I really am the better person here, I worry for anyone that lives within a kilometre radius of you. You can't be too bad. You're writing this masterpiece, after all.

Yeah, Christmas really bites into your plans, doesn't it? Ah well. Maybe without all of these distractions like your fic, I can find the motivation to start my own KS fic (with blackjack! And hookers!).

Your updating inconsistencies are forgiven in advance. I'll be happy if you finish before the end of 2013. Surely you won't take that long, right?

[Steinherz]

I just finished up to the last update. All I can say is that this is amazing, very well written.
(this makes me afraid to post my fic, there are really damn well written ones on here)