Re: Greater Than The Sum - Days 0 - 69 now up lol: 1/4/12
Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 8:04 am
Day Sixty Six - Morning
Knock knock knock.
I'm asleep. I can't hear you.
Knock knock knock.
No, go away. This is a good dream.
Knock knock knock.
There's nobody there. La la la la la la!
"Kacchan~ wake up!"
Now there's a voice I haven't heard in a while. I look over at my clock; 6:45am. Urgh, Misha, why are you up this early? This is sleepy time, damn you.
"Kacchan, come on~! We~ have a message for you!"
Oh dear god, this can't be good. But I can't get back to sleep now. Fuuuuu... Against my better judgment, I flop out of my bed - my warm, cosy, comfortable-ish bed - and make my way over to the door. I hesitate for a second with my hand on the knob, before opening the door to reveal the student council duo. Surprise, surprise.
"You two do know what time it is, right?"
"Of course, Kacchan~! But like I said, we have a message~ for you!"
"And it couldn't have waited until later? It's Sunday, everyone wants to sleep in - myself included."
Shizune gives me a stern look and signs something to Misha. "Shicchan says you shouldn't be so slack~! Early mornings are good for you~!"
It takes great restraint to resist the urge to laugh. "If you say so. I'm awake now, so what's this message?"
Misha screws her face up in concentration. I'm a little confused, until I notice neither Misha nor Shizune are carrying any letters or notes of any kind. Evidently noticing her friends inability to remember the message, Shizune signs the communiqué to Misha, whose eyes light up in recognition.
"Oh, that's right~! Thank you, Shizune. The message was from Oura in our year~."
"Oura?" I ponder the name. I don't know anyone named Oura. Strange.
"Yes~, Oura. Daisuke Oura. He said~ - "
"I don't care. I don't want to hear anything from him. Is that all you woke me for?"
"He said it was urgent~... that's why we came so early~."
"If it's so urgent, why not just come tell me himself?"
"I don't know, Kacchan~..."
"Forget it. I'm going to try and go back to sleep. Later, girls."
I turn my back on the girls and start to close the door, when I feel a tapping on my shoulder. I sigh and turn back to the girls. I begin to say 'what now' in exasperation, but I stop myself, as it is not Misha in front of me, but rather Shizune. She's holding up a page torn out of a notepad for me to take. I meet her gaze. Her eyes appear to be communicating in lieu of her speech, or lack thereof; they're urging me to take the note. I do so, if only to get the student council off my case. On the note is a hastily scribbled message, although the cursiveness of the writing belies the speed with which it was scribed. I'll look at it later. Maybe. Satisfied their work is complete, the terrible twosome depart with a trademark nod and wave.
I shut the door and stumble back to my bed, taking a seat upon the blanket strewn across the mattress. I look at the note in my hand, seeing it but not taking it in. Stupid Daisuke. I crush the note in my fist dramatically. A girl walking past my window at that exact second sees this, and gives me a funny look, before moving on. Why are you people such early risers? I throw the note at the wall in disgust, and attempt to fall back to sleep.
After an hour of restless tossing and turning, I give up on any extra hours of sleep. The sun is well and truly up now. I wonder what I can do today. I make to grab my phone and send a message asking what Seto, Naomi and Miko are up to, but remember that it was irreparably damaged in the accident. That reminds me, I have to go buy a new one. Funny how out of all the people and possessions in the car that night, the only thing that suffered any lasting consequences was my phone. Not funny, though, is that if I want to talk to anyone right now I'll have to go to their rooms and wake them. Considering my reaction to being woken early on a Sunday not an hour ago, I decide against being a hypocrite and leave my friends in peace.
So again, the question is asked. What can I do? I look around my room for inspiration. A scrunched up ball of paper in the corner attracts my attention. Ugh. I haul myself to my feet and walk over to the discarded note, unravelling it as I pick it up.
'Daisuke said for you to meet him on the roof as soon as possible.
By the way, if you read this, you owe me 1000 yen. Shizune.'
As if you're ever getting that 1000 yen, Shizune. Something strikes me as odd about Daisuke wanting to meet on the roof, but I'm not entirely sure what. Nevertheless, I have something to do. I give everything in my room one last cursory glance, in the hope I find something else to occupy my time. No luck. Dammit. Roof date with Daisuke it is. I quickly shower and dress, and make my way over to the school building.
As I enter the school building, I realise I've never been up to the roof before. I assume one would have to go up to the top floor first to access the roof, so I make my way there. It's a start. When I get there, I look to the little sign at the top of the stairs for directions. According to it, the roof access isn't far away, just up a flight of stairs in the middle of the hall... oh. Just as it clicks why it was odd that Daisuke wanted to meet on the roof, I spot him, seated in his wheelchair, right where the stairs to the roof are. I reluctantly approach Daisuke, making my presence known by clearing my throat.
"You took your sweet time, Akarada. I'm nearly out of coffee."
"Forgive me for preferring to sleep on a Sunday. God knows it'd be a first for you."
"...Not too keen on the niceties, are we?"
"No. Why should I be? What do you want, Daisuke?"
"I've always wanted to go up to the roof."
I take a second to process what Daisuke just said. He invited me up here. He wants to go to the roof. You've gotta be kidding me.
"You sent the student council after me at quarter to seven in the morning just so I could carry you up to the roof?! What the fuck do you think I am, some kind of pack mule? Hell no."
"Not at all. I sent the student council after you so I could apologise."
What? Apologise? Does. Not. Compute. Bzzzrt, error, error. Brain rebooting in 3, 2, 1...
"You... want to apologise?"
"Don't make me repeat it, Akarada. Now, are we going up to the roof or are we going to talk about serious business in this here corridor?"
"So I do have to carry you up to the roof. Figures."
"No. I think I can manage the stairs by myself. All you have to do is bring my wheels."
I give the proposal a few seconds thought. What have I got to lose? I came here to talk to Daisuke, and he wants to talk on the roof. I may as well go with it. I nod my assent to Daisuke, and watch as he hefts himself out of his chair and onto the first step. Daisuke awkwardly shuffles around on his non existant legs to face away from the stairway, shifts his hands to the edge of the stair above him, and lifts his body up to it. As he starts to repeat the process for the remaining stairs, I find the latch which unlocks the folding mechanism of Daisuke's chair - a feature that in the modern day and age is commonplace among permanent wheelchair users - and collapse the chair into a somewhat less bulky form.
I wait at the bottom of the stairwell for Daisuke to reach the landing at the midpoint of the stairs before I ascend them myself; carefully stepping around Daisuke and opening the door that leads to the roof. I unfold, set down and lock Daisuke's chair, using it to prop open the door, and wait for Daisuke to make his way up the remaining stairs. Slowly. And, I presume, with great effort. I never realised the convenience of legs when it comes to climbing stairs before. It's just one of a long list of things coming to a school like Yamaku has taught me about taking things for granted. Eventually, Daisuke reaches the summit of the stairwell and climbs back into his chair. Free to move as he wishes again, Daisuke rolls around the roof briefly, before settling on a spot overlooking the grounds on the south side.
"Was it worth the effort of getting up here?" I ask.
Daisuke ponders this for a few seconds before responding. "I think it was. It gives me a new perspective on things. The whole last two weeks have."
Daisuke turns about his waist in order to look me in the eye as I lean against a wall to his side. The usual stern, possibly aggravated, look he would give me is non-existant. Instead, Daisuke looks like he's been through absolute hell the last two weeks. Deep, dark shadows under his eyes are indicative of a serious lack of sleep. His hair, although short as always, looks unkempt and messy. This extends to his beard, which looks as if it has been neglected entirely; its usual perfectly maintaned shape is lost under all the untamed growth.
"I've been a real bastard to you. From day one."
"Yeah, you have. At least you realise that now."
"It wasn't anything malicious at first, please understand that. Yeah I was a dick, but it just because I was still angry about Yamato and Reina. You reminded me of him, and so it made me think of my anger towards him."
"Maybe it wasn't malicious, but it was still a dick move."
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Anyway, Yamato was right about what he said at the concert; as time went on, and we started playing again - well, again for Seto, Naomi and myself - I did develop feelings for Naomi. Just like what happened with Reina, Naomi fell for someone else. She fell for you. And suddenly you didn't just remind me of Yamato, you became him."
"I became a guy who was lucky enough to have his affections returned in kind. Nothing more, nothing less. The problem still lies with you, Daisuke."
Daisuke takes a sharp breath, as if wounded. I am right though; it could have been any guy that Naomi fell for, but Daisuke was the one who took offense to it. No one ever pushed him, or bragged, or took any other antagonistic action. Having regained his composure, Daisuke continues his speech.
"You're right, Akarada. Of course, I was too blind to see it back then. My jealousy, my anger... they made me see a man who swept in and stole the heart of the girl I liked from right under my nose."
"I never stole anything. No one even knew you liked Naomi. You never showed it."
"Hmm... that was the excuse Yamato gave me when I confronted him about Reina all that time ago."
"It's not an excuse, it's the truth."
"Call it whatever you want, it's not important. What is important is why all this affected me the way it did. Can I trust you never to repeat what I am about to tell you?"
"I'll take it to my grave, if it's that important to you. Besides, this is, as you said, serious business, after all."
"Good. Listen up."
Daisuke turns his head away from me, and stares into the sky as he begins his story.
"All my life I'd lived with my Mom. Just me and her in a little house. I never knew my Father. But what I did know was that no matter how hard it was to look after a kid in a wheelchair, my Mom did everything she could to make my life as normal as possible. You have no idea how much respect I had for her; it can't have been easy working shifts, and driving me everywhere, being depended upon for even the simplest things young me needed to do."
"...You said 'had' respect."
"I know. I had respect for her. Not have. Not anymore."
Daisuke's hand curls into a fist as he utters the end of his statement.
"Shortly after I started tenth grade, she met him. He was rich, handsome, well connected... everything a woman could want. He was also gifted with a silver tongue. I could tell his words were sweet nothings. He tried to seduce my Mom; I told her, 'you shouldn't see this guy, he's trouble'. But she didn't listen. She started spending more and more time with him. All of a sudden I was by myself more often than not. Mom couldn't keep up with both looking after me and following him around."
"He had a solution. There was a school, one specially designed to cater for 'damaged goods'. He even used those words, but because of the power his words had over my Mom, she believed what he said. I wasn't her son any more. I was damaged goods. A burden. A liability. And so, through my Mom, he sent me away to Yamaku to be out of his way. I haven't seen either of them for over two years. I don't want to. I hate my Mom for believing him. But I hate him more for stealing my Mom away."
Daisuke turns back to face me, evidently done talking. I consider the meaning of what Daisuke has told me. The reason he got so angry about Yamato, and about me... it all makes perfect sense now.
"So when Reina chose to be with Yamato, you got angry because he was stealing away your girl, just like 'he' stole away your Mom..."
"Yes."
"And when you say I reminded you of Yamato, what you really mean was that I reminded you of 'him'..."
"Yes."
"And it would be reasonable to assume your bias against Yamato's and my playing is caused by this?"
"...Also yes."
"Hmm..."
I muse on this revelation for some time. Daisuke, assuming he's telling the truth, is not actually that bad a guy, as it would seem. Bitter, and prone to grudges, but still not a bad guy over all. He's not so different from myself, actually. There's the obvious similarities, like being male, or going to Yamaku, or playing in the same band; but then there's other, more unique things, like sharing a detachment from our Mothers or our affections for Naomi. Could I have misjudged Daisuke as badly as he misjudged me? Then what I said to Naomi was right. I have brought myself down to Daisuke's level. And now we've both moved up from it.
"So, uh... yeah. Like I said, the last two weeks have really put things in perspective. When I heard you guys were in an accident, I didn't believe it at first. But as more and more people started saying it, I realised it wasn't some kind of sick joke. You guys were actually hurt. I felt terrible about it. I felt terrible because it was all my fault. Because of my actions, Yamato and Reina were hurt. I felt pretty bad about that. I felt worse about having hurt Naomi. But I felt the worst about having hurt you - not cause I'm a homo or nothin', don't get me wrong - but because of how much you mean to Naomi. She nearly had a breakdown, you know. I saw it. From then until now, I haven't left my room."
"But I had to leave. I had to make up for what I caused. And I still don't know how I can do that. I can't fix Reina's broken arm, I can't fix the cuts on Yamato's face, I can't fix Naomi's injuries, and I can't get back the days you lost in the hospital. I can't fix the pain and suffering all your friends and family have gone through. Akara-... Katsuro, I have said and done things that I have come to regret, and caused considerable damage to your life and the lives of others through them. I wish I hadn't done any of it, but I can't change the past. So in place of that, the only thing I can do is ask for forgiveness. Will you forgive me?"
Yep, definitely moved up from it. I would go so far as to say Daisuke has surpassed my previous level. Now it's up to me to extend myself to Daisuke's standard. I extend my hand to him, which he clasps firmly and shakes with a small but strong motion.
"I forgive you. Now let's get the hell outta here, I need some breakfast."
Daisuke and I head back over to the roof access stairs, only to be stopped in our tracks by the appearance of a girl with short, auburn hair on the other side of the door.
"Hello."
I have no idea what to make of this girl from behind the door. Daisuke, on the other hand, seems to know her.
"Rin. Following a cloud again?"
"No. I can't follow a cloud, I'm much to low to do that. Though, my eyes could follow the cloud as far as the horizon..."
This Rin girl trails off midsentence and stares absent-mindedly at the sky above. She remains almost motionless like this for several long seconds, still blocking our exit.
"Um, excuse me, but we need to get through here," I tell her.
"Hmm? Through where?"
"...The door. We need to go through the door."
"Oh. Well good luck with that, I've heard doors are quite solid. If you manage it, I'd very much like to hear about it."
"Huh...?"
Now it's me who's trailing off. What does the state of matter of a door have to do with... oh. Rin has taken my words literally. Clarification time.
"Er, maybe I should have been more clear. We need to go through the doorway, and you're kind of in the middle of it."
"Hmm. So I am. You really should have been more clear."
"Yes, well... will you move?"
Rin cocks her head slightly, as if considering whether or not she's actually going to move out of the way. A second later, she makes up her mind and steps onto the roof, clearing the way for Daisuke and me to pass uninhibited. Well, for me to pass uninhibited at least, as Daisuke is rather hampered by stairs. Technicalities aside, the two of us slowly descend the stairs and make our way downstairs to the cafeteria. Daisuke elects to sit with some people he knows from his class, while I eat alone.
Once I'm filled and refreshed, I consider what I can do for the rest of the day. I haven't exactly got a shortage of time. I'd go see Naomi, if she weren't getting her check up today. Hmm... oh, that's right, I need a new phone. I don't think it will be too likely the town at the bottom of the hill Yamaku is located on would have much in the way of phone stores... but the city definitely would. I walk out of the cafeteria and out to the bus stop outside the school grounds. The next bus is in thirty minutes. Damn, I must have just missed the last one. Ah well, guess I'll just wait here for the next bus to arrive.
On to the next part: Day Sixty Six (Afternoon)
=================
As you might have noticed, at the beginning of this chapter is the heading "Day Sixty Six - Morning". While writing this chapter, I had two key plot points I wanted to address. By the time I had finished writing one of them (that is, the one you've read above), I had already exceeded three thousand words. I had not anticipated needing so many words to write out what was only five words in my plan. As a result, I have decided to split this chapter into two parts; this part, Morning, and the next part to come, Afternoon.
This also means the last chapter will be pushed back - all the better for you guys, but it means more work for me. I have a week off Uni starting Thursday though, so hopefully I can get pretty much all of it done in that time. In the mean time, I have one more picture for you guys, but this one shows off two characters - Yamato and Reina. And it has a lot of black. Which, for the record, was a pain in the ass, because it madde it so hard to differentiate between articles of clothing and hair and what not. Anyway, enjoy.
Cheers, BlackWaltz.
Knock knock knock.
I'm asleep. I can't hear you.
Knock knock knock.
No, go away. This is a good dream.
Knock knock knock.
There's nobody there. La la la la la la!
"Kacchan~ wake up!"
Now there's a voice I haven't heard in a while. I look over at my clock; 6:45am. Urgh, Misha, why are you up this early? This is sleepy time, damn you.
"Kacchan, come on~! We~ have a message for you!"
Oh dear god, this can't be good. But I can't get back to sleep now. Fuuuuu... Against my better judgment, I flop out of my bed - my warm, cosy, comfortable-ish bed - and make my way over to the door. I hesitate for a second with my hand on the knob, before opening the door to reveal the student council duo. Surprise, surprise.
"You two do know what time it is, right?"
"Of course, Kacchan~! But like I said, we have a message~ for you!"
"And it couldn't have waited until later? It's Sunday, everyone wants to sleep in - myself included."
Shizune gives me a stern look and signs something to Misha. "Shicchan says you shouldn't be so slack~! Early mornings are good for you~!"
It takes great restraint to resist the urge to laugh. "If you say so. I'm awake now, so what's this message?"
Misha screws her face up in concentration. I'm a little confused, until I notice neither Misha nor Shizune are carrying any letters or notes of any kind. Evidently noticing her friends inability to remember the message, Shizune signs the communiqué to Misha, whose eyes light up in recognition.
"Oh, that's right~! Thank you, Shizune. The message was from Oura in our year~."
"Oura?" I ponder the name. I don't know anyone named Oura. Strange.
"Yes~, Oura. Daisuke Oura. He said~ - "
"I don't care. I don't want to hear anything from him. Is that all you woke me for?"
"He said it was urgent~... that's why we came so early~."
"If it's so urgent, why not just come tell me himself?"
"I don't know, Kacchan~..."
"Forget it. I'm going to try and go back to sleep. Later, girls."
I turn my back on the girls and start to close the door, when I feel a tapping on my shoulder. I sigh and turn back to the girls. I begin to say 'what now' in exasperation, but I stop myself, as it is not Misha in front of me, but rather Shizune. She's holding up a page torn out of a notepad for me to take. I meet her gaze. Her eyes appear to be communicating in lieu of her speech, or lack thereof; they're urging me to take the note. I do so, if only to get the student council off my case. On the note is a hastily scribbled message, although the cursiveness of the writing belies the speed with which it was scribed. I'll look at it later. Maybe. Satisfied their work is complete, the terrible twosome depart with a trademark nod and wave.
I shut the door and stumble back to my bed, taking a seat upon the blanket strewn across the mattress. I look at the note in my hand, seeing it but not taking it in. Stupid Daisuke. I crush the note in my fist dramatically. A girl walking past my window at that exact second sees this, and gives me a funny look, before moving on. Why are you people such early risers? I throw the note at the wall in disgust, and attempt to fall back to sleep.
After an hour of restless tossing and turning, I give up on any extra hours of sleep. The sun is well and truly up now. I wonder what I can do today. I make to grab my phone and send a message asking what Seto, Naomi and Miko are up to, but remember that it was irreparably damaged in the accident. That reminds me, I have to go buy a new one. Funny how out of all the people and possessions in the car that night, the only thing that suffered any lasting consequences was my phone. Not funny, though, is that if I want to talk to anyone right now I'll have to go to their rooms and wake them. Considering my reaction to being woken early on a Sunday not an hour ago, I decide against being a hypocrite and leave my friends in peace.
So again, the question is asked. What can I do? I look around my room for inspiration. A scrunched up ball of paper in the corner attracts my attention. Ugh. I haul myself to my feet and walk over to the discarded note, unravelling it as I pick it up.
'Daisuke said for you to meet him on the roof as soon as possible.
By the way, if you read this, you owe me 1000 yen. Shizune.'
As if you're ever getting that 1000 yen, Shizune. Something strikes me as odd about Daisuke wanting to meet on the roof, but I'm not entirely sure what. Nevertheless, I have something to do. I give everything in my room one last cursory glance, in the hope I find something else to occupy my time. No luck. Dammit. Roof date with Daisuke it is. I quickly shower and dress, and make my way over to the school building.
As I enter the school building, I realise I've never been up to the roof before. I assume one would have to go up to the top floor first to access the roof, so I make my way there. It's a start. When I get there, I look to the little sign at the top of the stairs for directions. According to it, the roof access isn't far away, just up a flight of stairs in the middle of the hall... oh. Just as it clicks why it was odd that Daisuke wanted to meet on the roof, I spot him, seated in his wheelchair, right where the stairs to the roof are. I reluctantly approach Daisuke, making my presence known by clearing my throat.
"You took your sweet time, Akarada. I'm nearly out of coffee."
"Forgive me for preferring to sleep on a Sunday. God knows it'd be a first for you."
"...Not too keen on the niceties, are we?"
"No. Why should I be? What do you want, Daisuke?"
"I've always wanted to go up to the roof."
I take a second to process what Daisuke just said. He invited me up here. He wants to go to the roof. You've gotta be kidding me.
"You sent the student council after me at quarter to seven in the morning just so I could carry you up to the roof?! What the fuck do you think I am, some kind of pack mule? Hell no."
"Not at all. I sent the student council after you so I could apologise."
What? Apologise? Does. Not. Compute. Bzzzrt, error, error. Brain rebooting in 3, 2, 1...
"You... want to apologise?"
"Don't make me repeat it, Akarada. Now, are we going up to the roof or are we going to talk about serious business in this here corridor?"
"So I do have to carry you up to the roof. Figures."
"No. I think I can manage the stairs by myself. All you have to do is bring my wheels."
I give the proposal a few seconds thought. What have I got to lose? I came here to talk to Daisuke, and he wants to talk on the roof. I may as well go with it. I nod my assent to Daisuke, and watch as he hefts himself out of his chair and onto the first step. Daisuke awkwardly shuffles around on his non existant legs to face away from the stairway, shifts his hands to the edge of the stair above him, and lifts his body up to it. As he starts to repeat the process for the remaining stairs, I find the latch which unlocks the folding mechanism of Daisuke's chair - a feature that in the modern day and age is commonplace among permanent wheelchair users - and collapse the chair into a somewhat less bulky form.
I wait at the bottom of the stairwell for Daisuke to reach the landing at the midpoint of the stairs before I ascend them myself; carefully stepping around Daisuke and opening the door that leads to the roof. I unfold, set down and lock Daisuke's chair, using it to prop open the door, and wait for Daisuke to make his way up the remaining stairs. Slowly. And, I presume, with great effort. I never realised the convenience of legs when it comes to climbing stairs before. It's just one of a long list of things coming to a school like Yamaku has taught me about taking things for granted. Eventually, Daisuke reaches the summit of the stairwell and climbs back into his chair. Free to move as he wishes again, Daisuke rolls around the roof briefly, before settling on a spot overlooking the grounds on the south side.
"Was it worth the effort of getting up here?" I ask.
Daisuke ponders this for a few seconds before responding. "I think it was. It gives me a new perspective on things. The whole last two weeks have."
Daisuke turns about his waist in order to look me in the eye as I lean against a wall to his side. The usual stern, possibly aggravated, look he would give me is non-existant. Instead, Daisuke looks like he's been through absolute hell the last two weeks. Deep, dark shadows under his eyes are indicative of a serious lack of sleep. His hair, although short as always, looks unkempt and messy. This extends to his beard, which looks as if it has been neglected entirely; its usual perfectly maintaned shape is lost under all the untamed growth.
"I've been a real bastard to you. From day one."
"Yeah, you have. At least you realise that now."
"It wasn't anything malicious at first, please understand that. Yeah I was a dick, but it just because I was still angry about Yamato and Reina. You reminded me of him, and so it made me think of my anger towards him."
"Maybe it wasn't malicious, but it was still a dick move."
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Anyway, Yamato was right about what he said at the concert; as time went on, and we started playing again - well, again for Seto, Naomi and myself - I did develop feelings for Naomi. Just like what happened with Reina, Naomi fell for someone else. She fell for you. And suddenly you didn't just remind me of Yamato, you became him."
"I became a guy who was lucky enough to have his affections returned in kind. Nothing more, nothing less. The problem still lies with you, Daisuke."
Daisuke takes a sharp breath, as if wounded. I am right though; it could have been any guy that Naomi fell for, but Daisuke was the one who took offense to it. No one ever pushed him, or bragged, or took any other antagonistic action. Having regained his composure, Daisuke continues his speech.
"You're right, Akarada. Of course, I was too blind to see it back then. My jealousy, my anger... they made me see a man who swept in and stole the heart of the girl I liked from right under my nose."
"I never stole anything. No one even knew you liked Naomi. You never showed it."
"Hmm... that was the excuse Yamato gave me when I confronted him about Reina all that time ago."
"It's not an excuse, it's the truth."
"Call it whatever you want, it's not important. What is important is why all this affected me the way it did. Can I trust you never to repeat what I am about to tell you?"
"I'll take it to my grave, if it's that important to you. Besides, this is, as you said, serious business, after all."
"Good. Listen up."
Daisuke turns his head away from me, and stares into the sky as he begins his story.
"All my life I'd lived with my Mom. Just me and her in a little house. I never knew my Father. But what I did know was that no matter how hard it was to look after a kid in a wheelchair, my Mom did everything she could to make my life as normal as possible. You have no idea how much respect I had for her; it can't have been easy working shifts, and driving me everywhere, being depended upon for even the simplest things young me needed to do."
"...You said 'had' respect."
"I know. I had respect for her. Not have. Not anymore."
Daisuke's hand curls into a fist as he utters the end of his statement.
"Shortly after I started tenth grade, she met him. He was rich, handsome, well connected... everything a woman could want. He was also gifted with a silver tongue. I could tell his words were sweet nothings. He tried to seduce my Mom; I told her, 'you shouldn't see this guy, he's trouble'. But she didn't listen. She started spending more and more time with him. All of a sudden I was by myself more often than not. Mom couldn't keep up with both looking after me and following him around."
"He had a solution. There was a school, one specially designed to cater for 'damaged goods'. He even used those words, but because of the power his words had over my Mom, she believed what he said. I wasn't her son any more. I was damaged goods. A burden. A liability. And so, through my Mom, he sent me away to Yamaku to be out of his way. I haven't seen either of them for over two years. I don't want to. I hate my Mom for believing him. But I hate him more for stealing my Mom away."
Daisuke turns back to face me, evidently done talking. I consider the meaning of what Daisuke has told me. The reason he got so angry about Yamato, and about me... it all makes perfect sense now.
"So when Reina chose to be with Yamato, you got angry because he was stealing away your girl, just like 'he' stole away your Mom..."
"Yes."
"And when you say I reminded you of Yamato, what you really mean was that I reminded you of 'him'..."
"Yes."
"And it would be reasonable to assume your bias against Yamato's and my playing is caused by this?"
"...Also yes."
"Hmm..."
I muse on this revelation for some time. Daisuke, assuming he's telling the truth, is not actually that bad a guy, as it would seem. Bitter, and prone to grudges, but still not a bad guy over all. He's not so different from myself, actually. There's the obvious similarities, like being male, or going to Yamaku, or playing in the same band; but then there's other, more unique things, like sharing a detachment from our Mothers or our affections for Naomi. Could I have misjudged Daisuke as badly as he misjudged me? Then what I said to Naomi was right. I have brought myself down to Daisuke's level. And now we've both moved up from it.
"So, uh... yeah. Like I said, the last two weeks have really put things in perspective. When I heard you guys were in an accident, I didn't believe it at first. But as more and more people started saying it, I realised it wasn't some kind of sick joke. You guys were actually hurt. I felt terrible about it. I felt terrible because it was all my fault. Because of my actions, Yamato and Reina were hurt. I felt pretty bad about that. I felt worse about having hurt Naomi. But I felt the worst about having hurt you - not cause I'm a homo or nothin', don't get me wrong - but because of how much you mean to Naomi. She nearly had a breakdown, you know. I saw it. From then until now, I haven't left my room."
"But I had to leave. I had to make up for what I caused. And I still don't know how I can do that. I can't fix Reina's broken arm, I can't fix the cuts on Yamato's face, I can't fix Naomi's injuries, and I can't get back the days you lost in the hospital. I can't fix the pain and suffering all your friends and family have gone through. Akara-... Katsuro, I have said and done things that I have come to regret, and caused considerable damage to your life and the lives of others through them. I wish I hadn't done any of it, but I can't change the past. So in place of that, the only thing I can do is ask for forgiveness. Will you forgive me?"
Yep, definitely moved up from it. I would go so far as to say Daisuke has surpassed my previous level. Now it's up to me to extend myself to Daisuke's standard. I extend my hand to him, which he clasps firmly and shakes with a small but strong motion.
"I forgive you. Now let's get the hell outta here, I need some breakfast."
Daisuke and I head back over to the roof access stairs, only to be stopped in our tracks by the appearance of a girl with short, auburn hair on the other side of the door.
"Hello."
I have no idea what to make of this girl from behind the door. Daisuke, on the other hand, seems to know her.
"Rin. Following a cloud again?"
"No. I can't follow a cloud, I'm much to low to do that. Though, my eyes could follow the cloud as far as the horizon..."
This Rin girl trails off midsentence and stares absent-mindedly at the sky above. She remains almost motionless like this for several long seconds, still blocking our exit.
"Um, excuse me, but we need to get through here," I tell her.
"Hmm? Through where?"
"...The door. We need to go through the door."
"Oh. Well good luck with that, I've heard doors are quite solid. If you manage it, I'd very much like to hear about it."
"Huh...?"
Now it's me who's trailing off. What does the state of matter of a door have to do with... oh. Rin has taken my words literally. Clarification time.
"Er, maybe I should have been more clear. We need to go through the doorway, and you're kind of in the middle of it."
"Hmm. So I am. You really should have been more clear."
"Yes, well... will you move?"
Rin cocks her head slightly, as if considering whether or not she's actually going to move out of the way. A second later, she makes up her mind and steps onto the roof, clearing the way for Daisuke and me to pass uninhibited. Well, for me to pass uninhibited at least, as Daisuke is rather hampered by stairs. Technicalities aside, the two of us slowly descend the stairs and make our way downstairs to the cafeteria. Daisuke elects to sit with some people he knows from his class, while I eat alone.
Once I'm filled and refreshed, I consider what I can do for the rest of the day. I haven't exactly got a shortage of time. I'd go see Naomi, if she weren't getting her check up today. Hmm... oh, that's right, I need a new phone. I don't think it will be too likely the town at the bottom of the hill Yamaku is located on would have much in the way of phone stores... but the city definitely would. I walk out of the cafeteria and out to the bus stop outside the school grounds. The next bus is in thirty minutes. Damn, I must have just missed the last one. Ah well, guess I'll just wait here for the next bus to arrive.
On to the next part: Day Sixty Six (Afternoon)
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As you might have noticed, at the beginning of this chapter is the heading "Day Sixty Six - Morning". While writing this chapter, I had two key plot points I wanted to address. By the time I had finished writing one of them (that is, the one you've read above), I had already exceeded three thousand words. I had not anticipated needing so many words to write out what was only five words in my plan. As a result, I have decided to split this chapter into two parts; this part, Morning, and the next part to come, Afternoon.
This also means the last chapter will be pushed back - all the better for you guys, but it means more work for me. I have a week off Uni starting Thursday though, so hopefully I can get pretty much all of it done in that time. In the mean time, I have one more picture for you guys, but this one shows off two characters - Yamato and Reina. And it has a lot of black. Which, for the record, was a pain in the ass, because it madde it so hard to differentiate between articles of clothing and hair and what not. Anyway, enjoy.
Cheers, BlackWaltz.