Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret
Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 9:35 pm
Yeah, saw that coming.But her next words throw me off guard. “W-W-W-We never left, Hisao.” She chokes out.
Yeah, saw that coming.But her next words throw me off guard. “W-W-W-We never left, Hisao.” She chokes out.
To some extent, anyway. On the other hand, there is a theory of torture that uses this very concept: you lay out a schedule, ending with the victim's execution, and stick strictly to it until they start looking forward to their own death. But then on the day of the supposed execution, you instead -as your only deviation from the schedule; this is important- start the cycle anew. A seemingly omnipotent and omniscient torturer (like AM in the original, and the voice in this) would certainly be aware of the idea, and might very well decide to experiment with it.Bagheera wrote:Yeah, pretty much. Now it just goes in circles until you get tired of it and decide to stop. Future reveals are now meaningless because we'll never have any reason to think it's not just another game/fakeout.Mirage_GSM wrote:I was afraid you'd do something like this. You have now robbed yourself of the possibility to bring this story to any conclusion at all.
Oh well. Fun while it lasted.
Great for torture. Not so great for reading, ya?Nekken wrote:To some extent, anyway. On the other hand, there is a theory of torture that uses this very concept: you lay out a schedule, ending with the victim's execution, and stick strictly to it until they start looking forward to their own death. But then on the day of the supposed execution, you instead -as your only deviation from the schedule; this is important- start the cycle anew. A seemingly omnipotent and omniscient torturer (like AM in the original, and the voice in this) would certainly be aware of the idea, and might very well decide to experiment with it.
There's no way to end it, period, unless you go third person objective or something.Doing this when dealing with a reality-warping torturer, though, leaves the author with a very difficult challenge indeed: how do you prove that it's really over? There is no way to end the story happily now, unless you find a way to answer that question. Of course, no one said this story had to end happily...
Under ordinary circumstances, yes, but we're reading about torture, and that necessitates some blurring of the lines. Any rule of writing can be broken, if done well and done in the proper circumstances, and what we've got here constitutes the proper circumstances. Whether or not it will turn out to be done well remains to be seen, but it is still possible.Bagheera wrote:Great for torture. Not so great for reading, ya?
I think Harlan Ellison would beg to differ with you on that. The story that inspired this one didn't end happily, but it most certainly came to a satisfactory end.There's no way to end it, period, unless you go third person objective or something.
Not even that would be final at this point. In the original the AI didn't have the power to bring back the dead. The voice in this story has been shown to do so. So even if this story ended like IHNMAIMS it would not be final and could always be reset to the start.Nekken wrote:I think Harlan Ellison would beg to differ with you on that. The story that inspired this one didn't end happily, but it most certainly came to a satisfactory end.There's no way to end it, period, unless you go third person objective or something.
Yes, that would be a possible end. It would not be satisfying, however, since in that case nothing that happened in the story would have actually mattered. It would just be a story of gratuitious violence and gore.It doesn't have to end with them leaving the fortress or winning or dying. The story can still end at any point, nothing is going to stop that. It's whenever Hisao gets tired of narrating. I imagine this will be when he finally gives up hope and falls into utter despair.
It was also much shorter and didn't involve much in the way of fakeouts/resets.Nekken wrote:Bagheera wrote:I think Harlan Ellison would beg to differ with you on that. The story that inspired this one didn't end happily, but it most certainly came to a satisfactory end.There's no way to end it, period, unless you go third person objective or something.
This will vary from reader to reader. I would find it a satisfying ending, perhaps more so. The story would no longer just be a plot with an ending, it would be about Hisao's character -- which I find much more interesting than the plot itself. The story will no longer just be a series of events with an ending. It will be a series of events which lead Hisao to realize he has no hope, how his life is pointless, etc.Mirage_GSM wrote:Yes, that would be a possible end. It would not be satisfying, however, since in that case nothing that happened in the story would have actually mattered. It would just be a story of gratuitious violence and gore.It doesn't have to end with them leaving the fortress or winning or dying. The story can still end at any point, nothing is going to stop that. It's whenever Hisao gets tired of narrating. I imagine this will be when he finally gives up hope and falls into utter despair.
Yessssss, I'm glad you caught that. I love working references into my stories that seem like just another plot element to outside readers. I think Saya No Uta might have been my inspiration for some of the horror in this story, but I can't really remember at this point.Nekken wrote:Interesting Saya no Uta reference.
Oh, you say that now. That's what you'd have to say. But I can see the ending. You're going to go all "End of Evangelion" on us, aren't ya? Don't worry, I'll keep your secret!Doomish wrote:And, no, the fakeout ending is absolutely out of the question. I wouldn't lead my readers on like that only to turn it into something completely ridiculous at the last minute.
Show's over, folks. This is what we've been waiting for. The show can't possibly go up any farther than this.“Hisao, Misha can’t go on.” She wheezes, huffing out a tired “Wait, I’m...”