Re: Rin Epilogue: The Long Road (Updated 15/11/2022)
Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2023 1:43 pm
Chapter 18: Restart
“Can you move faster, Hisao?” Rin asked from behind me as we walked up the stairs, which would usually cause me to turn my head towards her, but the large stack of boxes I’m carrying was currently making that option ill-advised.
“I’m moving as fast as I can,” I responded with a sigh as we reached the third floor, where I heard the distant sound of an elevator ding. “It would be better if I could use the elevator.”
“I still think you can move faster, like someone who usually walks even though he could run,” she pointed out, and I began to wonder if she’s actually trying to tease me. “But the guy who usually walks likes walking better than running, so maybe walking is better in his eyes. Like how I don’t like my bed full of teddy bears even though some people like it, so it’s better for me not to have them but better for them to have them.”
I ignored her save for a roll of my eyes, though a slight smile was on my face as we walked down the corridor to where the elevator was, where Hanako was already beginning to unload the many other boxes from it into the hall. It was something that we had been doing for quite a while now, each alternating in using the stairs or the elevator.
“That’s the last of them, right?” I asked, panting slightly.. Hanako looked as tired as I felt.
It had been a rather drawn out morning moving everything to our new apartment, first by unloading it from the truck and then moving it up to our floor and then to our apartment as well. We could have asked the movers to do it, but that would have cost extra and we were determined not to spend money frivolously now that we’re nearing our adulthood, especially since most of the items weren’t heavy enough to justify needing help.
Still, I was certainly glad that I was exempt from a morning run with Emi on account of our distance. If I did, there was a chance that I would be on the floor by now, exhausted and thoroughly drained of my stamina. Even now the floor somehow seemed strangely attractive, certainly more than the rational side of my mind would have liked.
“Y-Yes, that’s everything,” Hanako said, looking at the boxes around her. “M-Most of this load is my stuff, so sorry…”
“Considering that the rest of what we moved belonged to me or Rin, I’d say we should be sorrier,” I responded, letting out a tired groan. “Still, let’s just finish placing everything inside so that we can get a break before sorting what goes where.”
Hanako nodded in agreement, and she and I began to pick up the boxes and moved them into our new home, which was thankfully not that far from the elevator. Rin helped as best she could by pushing a lighter box with her foot down the hall to our door. At this point however, even that short a distance began to feel like an odyssey by the time we reached the small white doorway, careful to move as many things as we could before heading back and finishing off the rest of it.
“Alright, that’s all of it,” I declared triumphantly once we’re done and the door was closed. I practically throw myself onto the couch in our living room, Hanako and Rin plopping down beside me. All three of us slumped down and deflated, finally allowed to relax after the grueling work of moving our possessions. “That was about as bad as I thought it’d be.”
“B-But it’s over now…” Hanako responded optimistically, a smile on her face despite it being lined with fatigue, looking around our new living space. “I-It feels weird now that we're actually going to stay here.”
I concurred with that statement, looking around the place that was going to serve as our home for the foreseeable future. It was one of many candidates that we had scouted out the moment our college plans were secured, and while there were other equally promising places, this was the one we ultimately agreed upon.
It featured a living room that already had a couch, a table with chairs and a small TV, along with a glass door leading to the balcony outside. It had three medium-sized rooms, with two of them having bathrooms attached and with beds already provided, all topped off with a small kitchen room that was really just a short corridor with a small stove, fridge and drawers containing some utensils.
The place also had air conditioning for the summer and a heater for the winter, as well as being located near a train station that could easily transport us to our college in a reasonable time. All in all, it was nothing short of perfect for what we wanted in a home.
Really the only thing that gave us pause was the price, which while within our budget certainly wasn’t cheap, though it was hard to argue that it wasn’t worth it and then some given what it offered. Still, it definitely pushed the three of us into the idea of supplementing the money that we had with part time jobs, especially in Rin’s and my cases, given that it was technically our parents’ money that was being spent.
But college and work were a thing of the future, and right now the three of us were simply enjoying the present, having finally realized our plan to live together after a period of separation following our graduation
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The graduation ceremony was a relatively normal affair, all in all. Held in the school’s biggest available hall, a speech was given by the now former student council, though Shizune’s annoyed glare and Misha’s shrill voice sort of undercut the inspiring tone that it was supposed to have. The following ones from the faculty ranged from similarly underwhelming to legitimately heartfelt, especially from both Nurse and Mutou.
Then came the handing of diplomas, which my class was the first of our group to receive. It felt nice to say that I graduated high school with decent grades on my final, given the road bump I suffered in the form of a hospitalization, and as it was my turn Mutou stopped me briefly to say some parting words.
“You have a bright future ahead of you,” he said. “Aim high, Nakai.”
I gave a nod in response before moving on to let the next student have hers, eventually finding my way back to the seat that was in between Hanako and Miki, both with fairly different reactions once they had theirs as well. Hanako had a mix of relief and anxiety on her face, while Miki was as casual as she ever was.
When it came time for Emi and Rin’s class to receive their diplomas, I looked curiously at Rin as she went up on stage, a mildly worried look on her face as her head turned ceaselessly. When our eyes met and she saw me on stage, I simply gave her a wide smile, which caused Rin to close her eyes and calm her demeanor.
She accepted it with Emi’s help, who grabbed it in her stead as they both went down the stage and back to their seats, which were too far from me for us to converse. As such, it was simply a matter of waiting for the rest of the student body to take their turns on the stage, before a final speech and an even more final dismissal.
For what felt like it would be the last time in my life, I began to make my way out of Yamaku’s main building, the place where I had studied for three quarters of a year. My stay in the academy felt far longer than that however, as if I’ve spent the majority of my life here. Even now, most of the memories that come to mind were of this place, though a certain red-headed artist was responsible for that as well.
The five of us soon reunited again as we made our exit, though I couldn’t help but think that it would be only a short time before we’d be separated, and for much longer as well. Despite that, I shoved my apprehension about it aside and simply tried to enjoy the fact that they’re with me.
“So, have you packed all your stuff yet?” Miki asked nonchalantly, though she eyed Emi as she did so, clearly aiming the question at her specifically.
“Urgh, I still got some of it to handle. Is that what you want to hear?” Emi responded with an annoyed groan, looking more jumpy than usual, to the point where I suspected she would have run ahead if not for us. “What about you, Miura?”
“Oh, I think I’m about halfway,” Miki replied with a shrug, which just further angered Emi. “Don’t really feel like heading back to my parents’…well, one of their places.”
The subject of her parents’ divorce was indirectly brought up, causing some awkwardness among us even with the custody settlement coming and going, the result of which she did not feel the need to reveal just as did not wish to pry. It caused her to be in a fouler mood than usually initially, though eventually she reverted to her usual personality.
“I-I’m almost done,” Hanako said suddenly, trying to change the direction of the conversation. “I-I’ll be looking forward to staying with you, E-Emi.”
“That’s like the third time you’ve said that.” Emi pointed out in a teasing manner.
It was a decision that had been finalized days before graduation. With Hanako having no place to stay in between Yamaku and college, Emi offered Hanako a place to stay in her mother’s place during the interim, which Hanako accepted with only a bit of reluctance.
“Well, hopefully you two won’t be at each other’s throats in a week,” Miki playfully warned, causing Emi to glare at her and Hanako to look away in embarrassment. “Consider it good practice for when you’ll have to stay with Rin and Hisao.”
“Using Emi as practice for me and Hisao,” Rin mused, looking at us as if we were inspiration for an art piece. “That’s like hunting a stag in order to practice hunting a boar. Even though it’s completely different, you still get better at hunting boar by hunting stags. Like being better at cooking pasta even though you cook rice most of the time.”
“I’m sure you two will have a great time,” I assured Hanako before gesturing to myself and Rin. “Just like the three of us will when we find a place to stay. Our little group always has fun when we hang out, no matter the combination.”
“S-Still, I can’t wait to live with you and Rin too,” Hanako said with a beaming smile, which was a rarity even with her much more cheerful disposition. It showed just how much things had changed for the better over the course of her life in Yamaku. Not unlike my own journey. “But…”
We exited the door of the main building before she continued. “I-I’ll miss being here…in Yamaku.”
The five of us stopped to look at her, seeing the slight tears that welled up in her eyes as she looked up at the gargantuan place where we’d had our ceremony, the official declaration of our separation from this place.
It was a very bittersweet feeling, even if it was ultimately necessary to move forward. I had never thought that I would be so attached to the place that signified my heart condition, much less to such an extent. The people beside me seemed to hold similar opinions, and Miki simply broke away to bring up her phone.
“Hey, wouldja’ mind taking a photo of us?” she asked of a male student who just happened to be walking by. She practically shoved her phone onto him. Thankfully he seemed to take it in stride and nodded, holding the phone and pointing it at us. “Just because we’re leaving doesn’t mean we can’t take some of Yamaku with us, huh?”
Miki walked back towards us, her arms wrapping around Hanako and Emi’s shoulders, pulling them closer. Hanako flinched slightly, but ultimately nodded and inched towards her, while Emi did the same despite a brief look of incredulity.
I ultimately did the same, wrapping an arm around Rin and pulling her against me, which she responded by nuzzling her cheek against mine. The student holding the phone counted to three before taking several photos of us, handing the phone back to Miki soon after.
“I’ll send it to you guys later,” she promised, putting it back into her pocket once again. “We can take more photos all around Yamaku, enough to make a map if we feel like it.”
“That might be going too far,” Emi pointed out. “I won’t have any memory left in my phone…”
“Y-Yeah, I think a few is enough…” Hanako said in agreement. “W-We still have a bit of time, b-but maybe we can take one of t-the library…and the S-Shanghai…”
“I suppose if we’re doing this, a picture of the track would be nice,” Emi conceded.
“I want a photo of the roof, and the art club,” Rin joined in as well. “It’ll be like having a memory with me, even though I’ll have the memory in my head. It’s like having a nice meal in your stomach but still having the smell even once it goes out your bottom.”
“What about you, Hisao?” Miki asked once the rest of us processed that very…interesting analogy, turning towards me.
“I think you guys covered everything, but I suppose we should take one at the school gates. It’s where we started and will end our time here,” I answered, already feeling nostalgic as I looked towards the entrance to the academy, where we’ll be leaving for a long time if not for the last time. “As long as it’s with you guys, any photo would be one worth keeping.”
“Well, I’ve still got stuff to put in boxes, so let’s do that later alright?” Miki suggested, to which everyone agreed as we headed towards the dormitories.
“So…how’s the search for a college coming along?” I asked nonchalantly, mostly towards Emi as her plans had been the least known amongst our group.
“Well, I’ve gotten some responses to my applications, and they’re all pretty stoked to have me,” Emi replied with pride, bouncing up and down. “Turns out being a cute girl who can run rings around people makes you pretty popular.”
“Maybe they want you as a mascot,” Miki teased, but raised her hand defensively when Emi seemed ready to retort. “But I’m happy for you, Emi. Most of my applications came back positive, but I’m still wrapping my head around which one to go to. Kind of just sent a bunch out to whatever ones I thought were fun.”
“Really? No preference at all?” I questioned with a raised eyebrow, to which Miki showed a hint of a blush.
“Well, maybe a bit of a preference…” Miki answered. “Whatever one Emi’s going to.”
“What makes you think I’m telling you which college I’m going to?” Emi asked with a wry and slightly malicious smile.
“Oh, come on. It’ll be fun,” Miki pointed out defensively, scratching the back of her head. “Hanako, Rin and Hisao are going to stay together, so why not us? It’d be nice to have someone familiar around.”
“...Urgh, I’ll tell you later,” Emi conceded, though given that Miki already said that she’s going to the same college as Emi beforehand, it felt as if they were just arguing for the sake of it. “Anyways, how about you three? I probably don’t need to ask, but you guys found a college you want yet?”
“All our first picks accepted us,” I said, sounding a bit relieved. The day that news came made me feel as if I could float in the air, with Hanako looking similarly jubilant. Rin was predictably more muted in her reaction, though her smile told me all I needed to know about her thoughts on the matter. “Three different locations, but close enough to where we can live together and get to classes one time.”
“Congrats, you guys. I knew you’d be able to do it,” Emi said, her smile as wide as I’d ever seen. “Guess our futures are set, huh?”
“Like a clock moving forwards, even though you don’t know what gears are moving inside the clockwork,” Rin concluded with a nod, leaving Emi slightly confused. “I’m going to art college, and then I’ll become an artist. Even though I'm already an artist. It's like someone who knows how to cook becoming a chef even though anyone who can cook is like a chef.”
“Well, it’s more about showing the world you’re an artist now,” I added, to which she nodded again, though with less confidence. “And I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
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It was only when I finished reminiscing that I realized that Rin was sound asleep beside me, her eyes completely shut and her body unmoving. Hanako was awake, though looked slightly uncomfortable as if she were unsure of what to do.
“A-Are you ok, Hisao?” she asked hesitantly.
I nodded. “Yeah, I guess moving took a lot more out of me than I expected,” I replied, looking out the window and feeling a slight rumbling in my stomach. “What time is it?”
“O-One thirty, I think,” Hanako answered. “If it’s a-alright, do you think we can go have some lunch before unpacking?”
“Sure, it’d be nice to scope out the nearby area for someplace nice to eat,” I thought, looking back at Rin’s sleeping form, as peaceful as she’s ever been. “I saw a chain of restaurants near here, and it’s also next to a supermarket for whenever we want to buy groceries. Why don’t we start there?”
“Y-Yeah, but…” Hanako looked at Rin as well, though in a far more nervous fashion. “S-Should we wake her up?”
I thought about it for some time, wondering whether or not it would be wise to wake her up. Under normal circumstances, I would have just done so, but she hadn’t been sleeping well recently.. From a mixture of anticipation, excitement and fear of both college and living in a new place, she didn’t fall asleep until late into the night the last few nights, spending the time painting or talking to me. Sometimes she’d simply stare out into the sky, and I’d wait patiently beside her until she was ready to do something else.
“Let her get some rest,” I concluded, hoping I’m wasn’t making a mistake as I got to my feet. “We can order some takeout for her. And just to be safe, let’s leave a note to make sure she knows where we’re going.”
“A-Alright,” Hanako said, getting up as well. The two of us rummaged through the boxes until we found a scrap of paper and a pen, writing a quick note of why we were absent should she wake before our return, ultimately leaving it on her lap in a way that she was most likely to notice.
Once that was done, we quickly exited our new home and headed down to the ground floor, emerging outside the building to a parking lot that we were likely never to use. Our apartment was a walled off area, the entrance and exits being a singular guard post that was thankfully not too far from where we were.
Passing by and crossing a few streets led up to the chain of restaurants that I had seen earlier, ranging from traditional Japanese fare to other Asian and western cuisine. After a bit of discussion we decided to try out a cafe that didn’t quite resemble the Shanghai, but was close enough to elicit some sense of nostalgia for our old hangout.
Opening the door and hearing several bells ring, we managed to find a seat near the middle of the dining area, which was rather cozy as the chairs were all plump and cushioned. To my right was a long counter of breads, cakes, and other snacks along with a barista serving coffee to people wanting something on the go. Apart from that, the look of the place was fairly Japanese, with wooden walls and floors and lanterns serving as lights. Several decorations hung on the wall from traditional paintings to calligraphy and even a Daruma doll.
After a bit of time spent reading the menu, the waiter came up to us and asked for our order. Hanako got a simple quiche and coffee, and I got curry rice and iced tea for myself. The waiter bowed and quickly moved to relay the order to the cooks, and the two of us continued looking around the cafe, feeling as if we were slightly out of touch with our new surroundings.
“T-This place is nice.” Hanako commented, though it sounded as if she were saying it to herself.
“Yeah, it’s certainly quaint,” I responded in an ambivalent tone, deciding to bring up the thought that was obviously on both our minds. “Not quite the Shanghai though, huh?”
Hanako was slightly taken aback, but ultimately nodded in agreement. Our food arrived faster than we had anticipated, and we decided to dig in. The curry rice was rather good, a nice balance of spicy and savory along with chunks of tender meat and potatoes. Judging from her expression, Hanako seemed to enjoy her quiche, which had chunks of mushroom and what I assumed was chicken.
“How long has it been since we went there?” I asked, trying to recall the last time we’ve set foot in that old haunt.
“I-I went there a few times while I w-was living with Emi,” Hanako said, almost sounding guilty as she did. “B-But t-that was more than a month ago, so…at least over a month for a-all five of us, I think.”
More than a month. That had been how long it had been since we last visited the Shanghai, and how long it had been since we left Yamaku as graduates, to forge a future for ourselves. How long it had been since all five of us hung out together.
Of course, we still contacted each other through messages and the like, especially Emi and her insistence that I do my daily exercises. Still, it definitely felt as if something was missing ever since leaving the academy and the subsequent preparations for college, a warm familiarity whose absence is underscored yet apparent.
“It’ll be a while until we can hang out together,” I noted as I took another bite of my curry. “All five of us.”
“Y-Yes…” Hanako responded morosely, and conversation began to die down once more.
The separation had happened the day after we moved out of the dorms and back to our parents, save for Hanako who lived with Emi instead. Following that was a period of preparing for college and scouting for a new living space, of which my parents were surprisingly cooperative. The meeting with them and Rin’s parents as they mutually deliberated on where to stay went surprisingly cordially, if stiff and slightly concerning at first.
Of course, it was also the first time where Hanako met both of our parents as well, which also added to the initial feeling of awkwardness.
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“This seems pretty spacious,” Mom said as she walked about the mostly empty apartment space, looking out onto the balcony. “Although I’m not sure if three people can stay here comfortably. There’s only one bedroom and bathroom, not to mention the surrounding area are all business buildings. Not a single restaurant in sight, apart from a convenience store.”
“Agreed,” commented Mr. Tezuka, turning his head as opposed to moving here and there, his eyes keenly observing the area. “We’d want at least two bedrooms, for Hisao’s friend if nothing else.”
“Speaking of which, where is your friend?” Mom asked as she turned towards me and Rin. “Shouldn’t she be here by now?”
All I could do was shrug. The place we were currently in was the first of many prospective living spaces that we managed to find out about through all manner of methods, from newspapers and advertisements. Rin, Hanako and I agreed that we would make our decision after looking at them all today, along with Mom and Mr. Tezuka.
It had been the first time I had seen Rin since we went back to our parents, though we managed to keep in touch through messaging each other through our phones, sometimes well into the night or until someone or something forced us to stop. When I wasn’t busy handling the paperwork to formalize my college acceptance, I spent my days hanging out with my old friends.
Unsurprisingly, they were all planning for college as well, all going to different ones with the exception of Iwanako and Shin. The two were going to continue their relationship, and so decided to attend the same college in the city so they wouldn’t have to move, while Mai and Takumi would be moving to their own apartments to pursue their chosen career paths.
Unlike with Emi and Miki, there was a sense of finality as we hung out, as if this was undoubtedly the last time we’d be together as a group. Everyone was going their own separate ways, and while there was certainly a possibility of a reunion, it felt as if it just wouldn’t be as frequent nor as impactful as with the friends I gained in Yamaku.
It made having fun difficult at times, though ultimately we managed to enjoy each other's company, living in the present without worrying about the end. I still had their numbers in my phone, so it didn’t mean they were gone from my life forever. If nothing else, our parting would be on better terms than when I was hospitalized for the first time.
“S-Sorry I’m late!” Hanako’s voice caused all of us to turn towards the open doorway, where Hanako’s head was barely peeking out of it, eventually entering the apartment. “T-There was a bit of traffic…”
I glanced at Mom, who was staring at Hanako rather blatantly, and I quickly nudged her elbow to grab her attention. She turned to me and I gave her a bit of a scowl, to which she thankfully seemed to understand and simply looked back with a much more natural expression.
On the other hand, Mr. Tezuka’s face did not move at all. “Good morning, Miss…” he said in his usual quiet tone.
“I-I’m Hanako. Hanako Izekawa. I-it’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Tezuka,” Hanako replied, bowing deeply before turning to Mom. “Y-You too, Mrs. Nakai.”
“The pleasure is mine, Hanako,” Mom said, coming up and shaking her head, which caused Hanako to almost jump. “Hisao has said a lot of good things about you, so I’m delighted to meet you at last.”
“T-Thank you…” Hanako looked as if she wanted to run out of the apartment, but ultimately stood firm as Mom continued to shake her hand before finally letting go.
“Oh I should be the one thanking you,” Mom insisted. “For looking after my son while he’s in college. I do worry about him so much, so it’s a relief to know that there’ll be someone to keep an eye on him.”
“You make it sound like I’m in need of surveillance or something,” I complained, trying to take some attention away from Hanako. “Or that I’m a kid needing a babysitter.”
“Well, considering that you were always sneaking out into the city while you thought we were asleep, perhaps you are,” Mom jabbed back, a playful reprimand that made me feel slightly mortified. “Did you really think you were being sneaky when you did so? We can hear the door open and close, you know.”
“I…never mind.” I responded, unable to come up with a defense as Mom laughed, followed by a faint giggle from Hanako and a barely noticeable smile from Mr. Tezuka.
“So you thought you were being sneaky, but you weren’t,” Rin pointed out, and while it wasn’t her intention, her blunt words added to my feelings of shame. “Like a rat sneaking out for food, but a cat sees it the entire time wanting to eat it. Except no one wants to eat your Hisao, except people who eat people but I’ve never met them even if they might exist.”
“Anyways, we were just about done scouting this place,” I said quickly, trying to change the subject and move ahead. “It’s nice, but not really what we’re looking for as a place to stay, I think. Would you want to look around and offer a second opinion?”
“O-Oh, that’s alright,” Hanako answered. “I-If you don’t think it’s suitable, then i-it probably isn't. I-I’d like someplace w-where all of us can agree on.”
“Then shall we move on?” Mr. Tezuka suggested in which we unanimously agreed. Mom and Mr. Tezuka took the lead as we left, while, Hanako, Rin, and I walked just a few steps behind them as we made our way to the next location on offer.
“Are you alright, Hanako?” I asked her on the way there. The street wasn’t particularly busy, though there were a number of people that passed us by.
“Y-Yes.” Hanako affirmed, though she looked as if something was on her mind that she wanted to say, even as she said nothing else.
“How was Emi?” Rin asked. “You saw her last, so you know how she is better than me or Hisao, like someone who was watching over a sparkler can tell how much longer it’ll be before it burns out even though it might burn out as they say it.”
“S-She’s alright, just getting ready for college,” Hanako answered, giving Rin a smile. “S-She was a really nice host…her mom, too. She always cooked breakfast for us, a-and I-I sometimes went grocery shopping with her.”
It was always nice to hear that Hanako was being more sociable, especially with how difficult it must be for someone like her. “Emi asked you to run with her, I bet?” I questioned dryly.
“J-Just a few times,” Hanako looked as if she were suppressing a giggle. “S-She said she texted you to make sure you d-did it as well.”
“Oh trust me, I’m aware,” I remarked with a roll of my eyes, my phone having received text after text from Emi reminding me to do my morning run, as if I would somehow completely stop doing so the moment I left her vicinity. Granted, I didn’t always run in the morning, but it was still consistent enough to feel confident that I was maintaining my body’s health.
Hanako looked as if she wanted to say something, but refrained from doing so. This time however, Rin seemed to notice.
“You look like words want to come out of your mouth,” Rin stated, causing Hanako to look at her with a flustered expression. “But words aren’t coming out, so you’re like a radio that wants to sing but can’t because pieces of it aren’t working, even though radios don't want things but sing anyways. So a radio has to sing unless it can’t.”
Hanako seemed to get what Rin was implying, and her face turned extremely shy, though a smile was still on her lips.
“I-I guess I just didn’t think something like this would happen…” Hanako stated as we stopped near a street, letting the cars pass by before crossing it. “E-Even now. B-But more than that, I didn’t think I-I’d be so excited about it as well…”
“Mm, I’m excited as well,” Rin said, nodding her head. “And worried, and bored, and other things. But the excitement is like the sun in a landscape painting. It’s not the biggest or the most noticeable thing, but you always seem to see it, unless it’s at night in which case it’s the moon that you always see even though some paintings don’t have either.”
I simply gave them a smile as we continued on our way, elated that all three of us were looking forward to living together despite our time apart.
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Once we finished our meal and ordered something for Rin the two of us headed for the grocery store nearby, not intent on buying much, but wanting to get a feel for what was available, and to get something to get us by for a few days. For the most part, I was merely accompanying Hanako as she selected ingredients for future meals, while I mostly bought snacks and pre-prepared foods.
Much to Hanako’s delight, the place had quite the variety of foodstuffs from fresh greens to meats that looked as if they were just sent here from the butcher. She took her time when selecting what to put into the basket we picked up at the entrance, and we ended up spending more time here than we’d intended. A part of me was worried about Rin, but I decided not to rush Hanako as she was clearly enjoying herself.
“I should probably learn how to cook, huh?” I remarked embarrassedly as I saw the basket that was slowly but surely filling up with rice, vegetables and even some beef. It really felt as if out of the three of us, Hanako was the only one who would be able to cook an actual meal if we ever decided to not eat out.
“I-I don’t mind cooking…” Hanako insisted as she grabbed some cucumber and tossed it into the basket. “I-I don’t know too many recipes myself, but maybe I’ll try to learn m-more. I-It’s always fun to m-make something new to taste.”
“Well, I’ll need to get started with the basics first,” I said as we finished buying everything we needed, taking both plastic bags which were rather heavy. “Well, until I learn to properly use the kitchen, I’ll take the responsibility of carrying the groceries at least.”
“T-Thank you,” Hanako replied in appreciation, the plastic bag containing Rin’s meal in her hand, which was the curry rice I had along with some soup. “W-We shouldn’t keep Rin waiting any longer.”
And so we made our way back to our apartment, though at a slower pace given the extra burden in our hands. By the time we had reached our apartment door it was already late afternoon, and when we entered Rin wasn’t on the couch.
I spotted her on the balcony, sitting down as she looked at what was beyond it, buildings and cars and people. After setting down the groceries I walked up towards her, seeing a wistful look on her face, but as she turned to face me she immediately got up and rested her head against my shoulder.
“I read your note,” she said, nuzzling my neck. “I know I shouldn’t really be worried about you, but I did anyway. It’s like knowing the sky won’t fall down but still thinking it might, even though the sky isn’t really something that can fall.”
“I’m sorry,” I responded, wrapping my arms around her in a hug. “You just seemed so tired, and I didn’t want to disturb you since you hadn’t been sleeping well lately.”
“Thank you, Hisao. For being here,” Rin replied, before I heard her stomach growl slightly. “I’m hungry.”
“We bought some lunch for you,” I assured her, laughing a little as I heard her stomach growl again. “Want to go back inside and eat?”
She didn’t answer immediately, looking back onto the view beyond the balcony before finally nodding. The two of us made our way back to where Rin had her meal on the floor, while I helped Hanako with putting all the groceries we bought into the appropriate places.
“I think we should start moving our stuff now,” I commented as I placed some snacks into a low cupboard. “If we delay any longer, we might not get fully unpacked until tomorrow.”
“Y-Yes, though I’m not sure we’ll be done before d-dinnertime,” Hanako responded. “W-We did have a pretty late lunch.”
“Not to mention that we’ll need to try getting used to our new rooms,” I added. “We can get started on some of it at least, then finish after dinner.”
With the two of us in agreement, we started the process of truly unpacking our stuff while Rin continued eating, opening the many cardboard boxes in the living room and unearthing the items tucked away. From useful items such as stationery and kettles to more sentimental items like photos, we started placing them where they were seemed most appropriate.
For most of Rin’s and my stuff, that place was the bedroom we now shared. A place that was certainly larger than my room in Yamaku, with faded green walls and queen sized bed. A large window gave us about as good a view as the balcony. When we came here the first time, Rin sat down on the bedroom floor to simply look out the window for the entirety of our visit. While that wasn’t the only, or even the main, aspect that sealed this place as our choice of accommodation, it certainly helped.
There was a long table to the right of the door, and it was there that I placed a few of the things I’d brought here, including a framed photo of me and my friends during Yamaku’s festival. Looking at it as I placed it near the end of the table, it already began to feel nostalgic even if it wasn’t that long ago.
By the time Rin was done with her curry rice, Hanako and I had already unloaded several boxes, slowly filling our rooms to truly make them ours.
“Can I move your art equipment to your new studio?” I asked Rin as she peered towards the balcony.
“Yes, please,” she answered, looking slightly forlorn. “Sorry I can’t help you, but I don’t have any hands and I can’t really move if I carry anything on my feet. It's like a bird trying to fly while using its wings to carry a branch for their nests.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I said, coming up to Rin and giving her a quick kiss on the forehead. “Go look out the balcony some more, if you want. I’ll join you later, alright?”
“Thank you, Hisao.” Rin gave me a kiss in return, and went back to the balcony. Once again I felt concerned for how she was adjusting to everything, but ultimately decided to trust that she was doing so in her own way, and went on to continue the work of making this apartment a home.
The third room, which had no bed and was really just empty space, was dedicated as both a storeroom and a place where Rin could do her art. Like our bedroom there was a rather large window on the right side of the room, perfect for letting in sunlight and for viewing some scenery. Unfortunately we weren’t allowed to repaint the walls, which were a rather dull gray that didn’t look all that appealing. Parts of the tiled floor were also a bit loose, but otherwise it was a serviceable area.
There wasn’t a table in the room either, though that was perfectly fine as Rin would be putting her brushes and paints on the floor anyways. Her paints were the first thing I placed in the room. I didn’t really have a desired layout in mind when I unpacked, merely placing things where I thought was best without much thought behind it.
Hanako occasionally went in and out of the room as well, placing things that she didn’t really want in her room together in a corner on this one. Each time I came back to the living room in order to grab more stuff like paint bottles, easels, canvases and the like, I peeked at Rin sitting on the balcony, looking calm and thoughtful.
The sun was close to setting by the time I was finished unloading most of Rin’s art equipment, the easels in the middle with the paints, brushes, canvases and other items surrounding it in a semi circular pattern. It was a task that ended up being much tiring than expected, and left me slightly out of breath as I exited what now looked like a proper art studio.
There were still boxes in the living room, the empty ones being stashed in the storeroom for future use. Seeing it made me grimace slightly at the fact that our work was unfinished, but at the same time I couldn’t muster enough energy to continue it. I went to the kitchen and poured two cups of water and carried them to the balcony.
Sitting beside Rin, I placed one cup on the floor while lifting the other to her lips, which she sipped from before shifting her body to rest on mine.
“How do you feel, Hisao?” Rin asked, looking straight into me with those green eyes of hers.
“Tired,” I replied dryly. “And sweaty, and messy.”
“I feel weird, and I don’t know why even though a part of me does,” Rin said. “It’s like the first time I moved into my dorm room in Yamaku.”
“Yeah, it definitely is similar, but happier for me in this case,” I hesitated a bit before saying the next part. “When I moved into Yamaku, I had just been hospitalized because of my heart attack, not to mention having just found out about my condition. So it wasn’t really a happy occasion when I had to stay there.”
“But if you didn’t, I wouldn’t have seen you,” Rin brought up. “I think I would have been sad, even though you wouldn’t be in my mind because we would never meet, so I wouldn’t have a reason to be. Like a plant being sad that it can’t grow any fruit, even though it doesn’t know what a fruit is because a plant can’t really think.”
“I feel the same way,” I assured Rin, placing the other cup down and wrapping my arms around her. “I don’t regret coming to Yamaku, because it’s where I met you. The woman that I’ve grown to love, and to treasure.”
“Mm, it’s good that you said ‘grown’,” Rin leaned onto me, her head on my chest. “I didn’t think you loved me when we met, and I even think you hated me a little. But now you do, even though I’m not sure why that is.”
“The beginning of our relationship was really frustrating, wasn’t it?” I admitted with a bit of laughter, a fact which highlights both how distant those times were, but also that it was a problem that we’ve long since overcome. “I think we weren’t exactly in the best of states back then. I was still trying to find out what I wanted to do with my life, and you were trying to find yourself.”
“I think I still am,” she said, slumping down. “But I think I know where to go, even if I don’t know which way to turn to get there just yet. Like knowing a place to eat but not knowing what road to get to it.”
“You’ll reach there eventually,” I replied with confidence, before asking a bit less confidently, “Are you scared of college?”
Rin nodded with a bit of reluctance. “Mom and Dad had a long talk about classes and everything, but honestly even though I tried to listen it felt like they were talking in a different language, like a Russian man thinking someone is speaking French even though they were speaking Russian.”
“Well, think of it like your first classes in Yamaku,” I advised. “It’ll be intimidating at first, but you’ll get used to it.”
“And then…” Rin looked up at me, as if expecting that I’ll finish that sentence for her.
“And then you’ll graduate, and…well…” I felt a little uneasy with continuing that line of thought, my memories quickly heading back to her first art gallery. “You’ll be a professional artist.”
“I’ll sell my art,” Rin said plainly. “I’ll be selling pieces of me for money…that sounds alright. People need money, and I’m a person. So I’ll sell myself.”
“Yeah…” I couldn’t help but feel that it was wrong to agree with her, yet I did. Rin sounded at peace with the fact that she would have to sell her art, which had been a touchy subject in the past. Having sold some at the festival did help her come to accept the necessity of it, but there was still the underlying problem that was the root of the problem.
Namely that she made art to express herself, to try and get people to understand who she was or how she was feeling, and most of the time someone else’s interpretation of it would fall short. And now she was committed to doing that for a living.
“People won’t understand,” she added, once again without forlornness or disappointment. “The world they see in the painting won’t be the same world that I used to paint it. I can try to paint something that people might understand, but not a lot of them would be from me even though I’ll be the one painting them.”
I didn’t utter a word, unable to really find an ideal situation to her dilemma. All I did was hold her closer, watching the sun continue to go down. Suddenly I heard some noise coming from her stomach, and the two of us looked at each other.
“I’m hungry,” she muttered in a monotone voice. “I was hungry before, then I wasn’t, but now I am again…”
“I can eat right now. Maybe it’s all the moving I’ve been doing,” I answered, the conversation we had dropped for the time being. “But I suppose it is about time we have some dinner. Let’s go back in and see what Hanako wants to do.”
Rin nodded in agreement, and the two of us slowly got up and reentered the living room, where we could smell the scent of something from the kitchen. The two of us silently walked there until we saw Hanako cooking at the stove, the fragrant scent of something savory filling the air.
She seemed immersed in the act of making the meal, an unguarded smile on her face as she hummed and tasted what was in the pot in front of her, which turned out to be some sort of beef stew. Hanako added some more seasoning before noticing the two of us, almost jumping back at the sight as a blush lit her face.
“H-How long were you two standing there?” Hanako asked, sounding slightly embarrassed.
“Not long,” Rin replied. “For us, anyway. It might be long for you, like how one person says an hour is too short but another one says an hour is too long, even though you can’t tell how long time is by using a ruler.”
“I-I see…” Hanako glanced back at her cooking before turning back to us. “I-I finished moving my things…a-and I thought we'd be too tired to go out anyways, so I’m making us dinner, if that’s alright.”
“I’m hungry.” Rin stated simply.
“Yeah, that’s actually really nice of you. Thanks, Hanako.” I added, sounding appreciative.
“I-It’s no trouble at all, I-I really felt like cooking, a-actually. Hanako’s smile returned, though it was far more subdued. “I-I’m still not done yet, so you two might w-want to take a shower first. There isn’t much left to move, and t-the day’s made everyone a little…well…”
“Sweaty?” I finished with an amused look on my face, which she nodded in response. “Alright, I suppose we should try getting used to our new bathrooms, huh?”
“Trying a new bathroom…” Rin’s mind seemed to linger on those words. “It’s like trying for a new ship, except when a ship breaks you can’t sail, but if a bathroom breaks you can’t pee unless you do it on the floor. But that’d be bad.”
Now it was my turn to blush, her last words being so crass that it took me off guard.
“Right…” I affirmed before walking towards our bedroom, unsure of just what to think of that last statement. Rin unsurprisingly didn’t seem to be affected by it and already looked like she was thinking of something else.
Yet another instance of her unpredictability.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thankfully, the bathroom turned out to be a rather easy adjustment for the both of us, particularly when it came after Yamaku’s communal showers. The shower had plenty of space for us to wash ourselves together, something that I suspected we’d be doing far more often now that we’ve got a level of privacy that we’d never really had before.
By the time we finished getting clean and had a change of clothes, Hanako had already set up our meal on the dining table, plates of rice in front of each chair and a pot containing the stew in the middle of it. A simple meal, but there was a homey quality to it that made it feel more satisfying to eat.
Conversation was a little sparse, both from the exhaustion of moving and the fact that there was simply nothing on my mind to talk about, though it was nevertheless a very comfortable atmosphere that surrounded us as we ate our dinner.
Once we were all done, I offered to clean things up while Hanako went to get a shower and retire for the night, clearly ready to end her day. Rin meanwhile wanted to go back onto the balcony, and I simply told her I would join her when I was finished with washing the dishes, which she agreed to.
Grabbing everything on the table, I dumped them all into the sink before washing them one by one with soapy water, making sure to scrub out any stains and that they didn’t leave off any sort of odor before leaving them to dry. I even double checked in case I missed anything, which I thankfully didn’t.
I wondered if I had ever been this meticulous when washing dishes before. I was fairly sure I hadn’t been. Either I was starting to grow up, or moving into a new place had made me more of a neat freak than I used to be.
The moment I was satisfied, I walked back out onto the balcony, the view now showing the cityscape in all its beauty. Rin was sitting where she’d previously been, and I had the sneaking suspicion that it would be her spot whenever she wanted to be here. Unlike before though, I saw a pencil and a sketch pad in front of her.
“Want to sketch something?” I asked as Rin looked up at me.
“Mhm, but I can’t even though I really can,” She replied. “Something’s missing, even though nothing really is. Like a jar of cookies that’s missing one cookie, so nobody would really notice unless someone wanted the cookie jar to have that many cookies before one was missing.”
I sat down beside her and looked up at the sky, the stars and the clouds arrayed in a chaotic yet harmonious sequence, though I couldn’t really identify any constellations due to the light of the city. “What do you think is missing?”
Rin didn’t answer and instead simply moved herself in front of me and leaned back, her head brushing against my chest. It was only after she nuzzled the top of her head against my neck a few times that she gave me an answer. “I think it was you, Hisao.”
“Well, I’m not missing anymore,” I noted with a smile, wrapping my arms around her in a warm hug. “So, think you can sketch now?”
“Yes.”
That was all she said before her feet began to move, grabbing the pencil and using it to draw in the sketch pad, starting with a single line. Then several more lines to form shapes, slowly but surely starting to form something resembling a background.
It wasn’t until she was a decent chunk of the way in that I saw that it was the balcony, with the two of us sitting in the corner. Rin was drawing it as if it was the view of a bird looking down at us, capturing the floor, the door leading back into the living room, and the sky all in a single image.
Our faces couldn’t be seen, as the sketch only showed the back of our heads, but my hands were clearly wrapped around her in a hug like the one I was doing right now. It was a piece that looked hopeful yet melancholic, comforting yet inspiring the desire for comfort as well.
“It’s us,” I mentioned offhandedly, tightening my hug. “It looks really beautiful.”
“Mm, and warm even though it’s night and it should be cold,” Rin mentioned. “I wanted to draw this because it feels…right, and it feels like something that I need to draw. It helps me think about tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that.”
“The future.”
“Yes, the future. My future, and yours as well,” Rin let out a yawn and slumped back onto me. “I’m tired, Hisao.”
“Do you want to sleep?” I asked, looking up at where the moon was, slowly reaching its peak as midnight loomed near. “We have things to do tomorrow.”
“Mm, I want to sleep here, even though I know I shouldn’t.” Rin seemed to ponder the possibility a little more. “Hisao, can you let me sleep here?”
“If you’d like,” I said in an amused tone, but added in a slightly more serious voice. “But only if I get to carry you to bed once you do. I wouldn’t want you to freeze out here.”
“But you’ve moved my stuff, and brought me lunch, and water to drink,” Rin replied, sounding conflicted and almost guilty. “Do you not get tired of doing things for me, Hisao? After doing it so many times, like a bear being sick of eating fish after having it every day for a year.”
“No.” The answer came quickly. “I mean, long ago I realized that I’ll be doing a lot of things for you, but I don’t mind. It comes with being in a relationship.”
“But I don’t do much for you, at least I think I don’t,” Rin said, the guilt in her voice increasing. “I kiss you and hug you, have sex with you, but that isn’t helping you except for the thing in your pants. You help all of me, and I don’t feel like I can help all of you.”
“You do help all of me,” I assured her, kissing the top of her head. “You make me happy, more than I can really say. When I was in Yamaku, you dragged me out of the hole I was in, whether I liked it or not. I’ve become a better person, and it’s all because of you Rin.”
“Really?” Rin asked, as if she wanted to be sure. “I don’t think I can drag people out of holes. Having no hands makes it difficult.”
“Really,” I said, and she seemed content with that answer, saying nothing else as she slowly drifted off to sleep. I couldn’t help but look down at her face, seeing how beautiful she was underneath the night sky, the wind gently blowing her hair.
Eventually though, I gently lifted her into my arms as I got up, careful not to do anything that might disturb her sleep as I got back into the living room. There was a dead quiet as I entered compared to the subdued but pleasant noises from outside, Hanako in her room either asleep or doing her own thing.
Entering our bedroom, I gently laid Rin down onto the bed, briefly exiting to take the cups from the balcony and wash them. After checking one final time that everything was properly locked, I headed back into the bedroom where she was thankfully still asleep, looking as if she were completely at peace.
“Goodnight, Rin,” I managed to say before falling asleep myself. With college and all of its stressful assignments and lessons looming, I wondered when we’d have a night as peaceful as this again.
“Can you move faster, Hisao?” Rin asked from behind me as we walked up the stairs, which would usually cause me to turn my head towards her, but the large stack of boxes I’m carrying was currently making that option ill-advised.
“I’m moving as fast as I can,” I responded with a sigh as we reached the third floor, where I heard the distant sound of an elevator ding. “It would be better if I could use the elevator.”
“I still think you can move faster, like someone who usually walks even though he could run,” she pointed out, and I began to wonder if she’s actually trying to tease me. “But the guy who usually walks likes walking better than running, so maybe walking is better in his eyes. Like how I don’t like my bed full of teddy bears even though some people like it, so it’s better for me not to have them but better for them to have them.”
I ignored her save for a roll of my eyes, though a slight smile was on my face as we walked down the corridor to where the elevator was, where Hanako was already beginning to unload the many other boxes from it into the hall. It was something that we had been doing for quite a while now, each alternating in using the stairs or the elevator.
“That’s the last of them, right?” I asked, panting slightly.. Hanako looked as tired as I felt.
It had been a rather drawn out morning moving everything to our new apartment, first by unloading it from the truck and then moving it up to our floor and then to our apartment as well. We could have asked the movers to do it, but that would have cost extra and we were determined not to spend money frivolously now that we’re nearing our adulthood, especially since most of the items weren’t heavy enough to justify needing help.
Still, I was certainly glad that I was exempt from a morning run with Emi on account of our distance. If I did, there was a chance that I would be on the floor by now, exhausted and thoroughly drained of my stamina. Even now the floor somehow seemed strangely attractive, certainly more than the rational side of my mind would have liked.
“Y-Yes, that’s everything,” Hanako said, looking at the boxes around her. “M-Most of this load is my stuff, so sorry…”
“Considering that the rest of what we moved belonged to me or Rin, I’d say we should be sorrier,” I responded, letting out a tired groan. “Still, let’s just finish placing everything inside so that we can get a break before sorting what goes where.”
Hanako nodded in agreement, and she and I began to pick up the boxes and moved them into our new home, which was thankfully not that far from the elevator. Rin helped as best she could by pushing a lighter box with her foot down the hall to our door. At this point however, even that short a distance began to feel like an odyssey by the time we reached the small white doorway, careful to move as many things as we could before heading back and finishing off the rest of it.
“Alright, that’s all of it,” I declared triumphantly once we’re done and the door was closed. I practically throw myself onto the couch in our living room, Hanako and Rin plopping down beside me. All three of us slumped down and deflated, finally allowed to relax after the grueling work of moving our possessions. “That was about as bad as I thought it’d be.”
“B-But it’s over now…” Hanako responded optimistically, a smile on her face despite it being lined with fatigue, looking around our new living space. “I-It feels weird now that we're actually going to stay here.”
I concurred with that statement, looking around the place that was going to serve as our home for the foreseeable future. It was one of many candidates that we had scouted out the moment our college plans were secured, and while there were other equally promising places, this was the one we ultimately agreed upon.
It featured a living room that already had a couch, a table with chairs and a small TV, along with a glass door leading to the balcony outside. It had three medium-sized rooms, with two of them having bathrooms attached and with beds already provided, all topped off with a small kitchen room that was really just a short corridor with a small stove, fridge and drawers containing some utensils.
The place also had air conditioning for the summer and a heater for the winter, as well as being located near a train station that could easily transport us to our college in a reasonable time. All in all, it was nothing short of perfect for what we wanted in a home.
Really the only thing that gave us pause was the price, which while within our budget certainly wasn’t cheap, though it was hard to argue that it wasn’t worth it and then some given what it offered. Still, it definitely pushed the three of us into the idea of supplementing the money that we had with part time jobs, especially in Rin’s and my cases, given that it was technically our parents’ money that was being spent.
But college and work were a thing of the future, and right now the three of us were simply enjoying the present, having finally realized our plan to live together after a period of separation following our graduation
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The graduation ceremony was a relatively normal affair, all in all. Held in the school’s biggest available hall, a speech was given by the now former student council, though Shizune’s annoyed glare and Misha’s shrill voice sort of undercut the inspiring tone that it was supposed to have. The following ones from the faculty ranged from similarly underwhelming to legitimately heartfelt, especially from both Nurse and Mutou.
Then came the handing of diplomas, which my class was the first of our group to receive. It felt nice to say that I graduated high school with decent grades on my final, given the road bump I suffered in the form of a hospitalization, and as it was my turn Mutou stopped me briefly to say some parting words.
“You have a bright future ahead of you,” he said. “Aim high, Nakai.”
I gave a nod in response before moving on to let the next student have hers, eventually finding my way back to the seat that was in between Hanako and Miki, both with fairly different reactions once they had theirs as well. Hanako had a mix of relief and anxiety on her face, while Miki was as casual as she ever was.
When it came time for Emi and Rin’s class to receive their diplomas, I looked curiously at Rin as she went up on stage, a mildly worried look on her face as her head turned ceaselessly. When our eyes met and she saw me on stage, I simply gave her a wide smile, which caused Rin to close her eyes and calm her demeanor.
She accepted it with Emi’s help, who grabbed it in her stead as they both went down the stage and back to their seats, which were too far from me for us to converse. As such, it was simply a matter of waiting for the rest of the student body to take their turns on the stage, before a final speech and an even more final dismissal.
For what felt like it would be the last time in my life, I began to make my way out of Yamaku’s main building, the place where I had studied for three quarters of a year. My stay in the academy felt far longer than that however, as if I’ve spent the majority of my life here. Even now, most of the memories that come to mind were of this place, though a certain red-headed artist was responsible for that as well.
The five of us soon reunited again as we made our exit, though I couldn’t help but think that it would be only a short time before we’d be separated, and for much longer as well. Despite that, I shoved my apprehension about it aside and simply tried to enjoy the fact that they’re with me.
“So, have you packed all your stuff yet?” Miki asked nonchalantly, though she eyed Emi as she did so, clearly aiming the question at her specifically.
“Urgh, I still got some of it to handle. Is that what you want to hear?” Emi responded with an annoyed groan, looking more jumpy than usual, to the point where I suspected she would have run ahead if not for us. “What about you, Miura?”
“Oh, I think I’m about halfway,” Miki replied with a shrug, which just further angered Emi. “Don’t really feel like heading back to my parents’…well, one of their places.”
The subject of her parents’ divorce was indirectly brought up, causing some awkwardness among us even with the custody settlement coming and going, the result of which she did not feel the need to reveal just as did not wish to pry. It caused her to be in a fouler mood than usually initially, though eventually she reverted to her usual personality.
“I-I’m almost done,” Hanako said suddenly, trying to change the direction of the conversation. “I-I’ll be looking forward to staying with you, E-Emi.”
“That’s like the third time you’ve said that.” Emi pointed out in a teasing manner.
It was a decision that had been finalized days before graduation. With Hanako having no place to stay in between Yamaku and college, Emi offered Hanako a place to stay in her mother’s place during the interim, which Hanako accepted with only a bit of reluctance.
“Well, hopefully you two won’t be at each other’s throats in a week,” Miki playfully warned, causing Emi to glare at her and Hanako to look away in embarrassment. “Consider it good practice for when you’ll have to stay with Rin and Hisao.”
“Using Emi as practice for me and Hisao,” Rin mused, looking at us as if we were inspiration for an art piece. “That’s like hunting a stag in order to practice hunting a boar. Even though it’s completely different, you still get better at hunting boar by hunting stags. Like being better at cooking pasta even though you cook rice most of the time.”
“I’m sure you two will have a great time,” I assured Hanako before gesturing to myself and Rin. “Just like the three of us will when we find a place to stay. Our little group always has fun when we hang out, no matter the combination.”
“S-Still, I can’t wait to live with you and Rin too,” Hanako said with a beaming smile, which was a rarity even with her much more cheerful disposition. It showed just how much things had changed for the better over the course of her life in Yamaku. Not unlike my own journey. “But…”
We exited the door of the main building before she continued. “I-I’ll miss being here…in Yamaku.”
The five of us stopped to look at her, seeing the slight tears that welled up in her eyes as she looked up at the gargantuan place where we’d had our ceremony, the official declaration of our separation from this place.
It was a very bittersweet feeling, even if it was ultimately necessary to move forward. I had never thought that I would be so attached to the place that signified my heart condition, much less to such an extent. The people beside me seemed to hold similar opinions, and Miki simply broke away to bring up her phone.
“Hey, wouldja’ mind taking a photo of us?” she asked of a male student who just happened to be walking by. She practically shoved her phone onto him. Thankfully he seemed to take it in stride and nodded, holding the phone and pointing it at us. “Just because we’re leaving doesn’t mean we can’t take some of Yamaku with us, huh?”
Miki walked back towards us, her arms wrapping around Hanako and Emi’s shoulders, pulling them closer. Hanako flinched slightly, but ultimately nodded and inched towards her, while Emi did the same despite a brief look of incredulity.
I ultimately did the same, wrapping an arm around Rin and pulling her against me, which she responded by nuzzling her cheek against mine. The student holding the phone counted to three before taking several photos of us, handing the phone back to Miki soon after.
“I’ll send it to you guys later,” she promised, putting it back into her pocket once again. “We can take more photos all around Yamaku, enough to make a map if we feel like it.”
“That might be going too far,” Emi pointed out. “I won’t have any memory left in my phone…”
“Y-Yeah, I think a few is enough…” Hanako said in agreement. “W-We still have a bit of time, b-but maybe we can take one of t-the library…and the S-Shanghai…”
“I suppose if we’re doing this, a picture of the track would be nice,” Emi conceded.
“I want a photo of the roof, and the art club,” Rin joined in as well. “It’ll be like having a memory with me, even though I’ll have the memory in my head. It’s like having a nice meal in your stomach but still having the smell even once it goes out your bottom.”
“What about you, Hisao?” Miki asked once the rest of us processed that very…interesting analogy, turning towards me.
“I think you guys covered everything, but I suppose we should take one at the school gates. It’s where we started and will end our time here,” I answered, already feeling nostalgic as I looked towards the entrance to the academy, where we’ll be leaving for a long time if not for the last time. “As long as it’s with you guys, any photo would be one worth keeping.”
“Well, I’ve still got stuff to put in boxes, so let’s do that later alright?” Miki suggested, to which everyone agreed as we headed towards the dormitories.
“So…how’s the search for a college coming along?” I asked nonchalantly, mostly towards Emi as her plans had been the least known amongst our group.
“Well, I’ve gotten some responses to my applications, and they’re all pretty stoked to have me,” Emi replied with pride, bouncing up and down. “Turns out being a cute girl who can run rings around people makes you pretty popular.”
“Maybe they want you as a mascot,” Miki teased, but raised her hand defensively when Emi seemed ready to retort. “But I’m happy for you, Emi. Most of my applications came back positive, but I’m still wrapping my head around which one to go to. Kind of just sent a bunch out to whatever ones I thought were fun.”
“Really? No preference at all?” I questioned with a raised eyebrow, to which Miki showed a hint of a blush.
“Well, maybe a bit of a preference…” Miki answered. “Whatever one Emi’s going to.”
“What makes you think I’m telling you which college I’m going to?” Emi asked with a wry and slightly malicious smile.
“Oh, come on. It’ll be fun,” Miki pointed out defensively, scratching the back of her head. “Hanako, Rin and Hisao are going to stay together, so why not us? It’d be nice to have someone familiar around.”
“...Urgh, I’ll tell you later,” Emi conceded, though given that Miki already said that she’s going to the same college as Emi beforehand, it felt as if they were just arguing for the sake of it. “Anyways, how about you three? I probably don’t need to ask, but you guys found a college you want yet?”
“All our first picks accepted us,” I said, sounding a bit relieved. The day that news came made me feel as if I could float in the air, with Hanako looking similarly jubilant. Rin was predictably more muted in her reaction, though her smile told me all I needed to know about her thoughts on the matter. “Three different locations, but close enough to where we can live together and get to classes one time.”
“Congrats, you guys. I knew you’d be able to do it,” Emi said, her smile as wide as I’d ever seen. “Guess our futures are set, huh?”
“Like a clock moving forwards, even though you don’t know what gears are moving inside the clockwork,” Rin concluded with a nod, leaving Emi slightly confused. “I’m going to art college, and then I’ll become an artist. Even though I'm already an artist. It's like someone who knows how to cook becoming a chef even though anyone who can cook is like a chef.”
“Well, it’s more about showing the world you’re an artist now,” I added, to which she nodded again, though with less confidence. “And I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
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It was only when I finished reminiscing that I realized that Rin was sound asleep beside me, her eyes completely shut and her body unmoving. Hanako was awake, though looked slightly uncomfortable as if she were unsure of what to do.
“A-Are you ok, Hisao?” she asked hesitantly.
I nodded. “Yeah, I guess moving took a lot more out of me than I expected,” I replied, looking out the window and feeling a slight rumbling in my stomach. “What time is it?”
“O-One thirty, I think,” Hanako answered. “If it’s a-alright, do you think we can go have some lunch before unpacking?”
“Sure, it’d be nice to scope out the nearby area for someplace nice to eat,” I thought, looking back at Rin’s sleeping form, as peaceful as she’s ever been. “I saw a chain of restaurants near here, and it’s also next to a supermarket for whenever we want to buy groceries. Why don’t we start there?”
“Y-Yeah, but…” Hanako looked at Rin as well, though in a far more nervous fashion. “S-Should we wake her up?”
I thought about it for some time, wondering whether or not it would be wise to wake her up. Under normal circumstances, I would have just done so, but she hadn’t been sleeping well recently.. From a mixture of anticipation, excitement and fear of both college and living in a new place, she didn’t fall asleep until late into the night the last few nights, spending the time painting or talking to me. Sometimes she’d simply stare out into the sky, and I’d wait patiently beside her until she was ready to do something else.
“Let her get some rest,” I concluded, hoping I’m wasn’t making a mistake as I got to my feet. “We can order some takeout for her. And just to be safe, let’s leave a note to make sure she knows where we’re going.”
“A-Alright,” Hanako said, getting up as well. The two of us rummaged through the boxes until we found a scrap of paper and a pen, writing a quick note of why we were absent should she wake before our return, ultimately leaving it on her lap in a way that she was most likely to notice.
Once that was done, we quickly exited our new home and headed down to the ground floor, emerging outside the building to a parking lot that we were likely never to use. Our apartment was a walled off area, the entrance and exits being a singular guard post that was thankfully not too far from where we were.
Passing by and crossing a few streets led up to the chain of restaurants that I had seen earlier, ranging from traditional Japanese fare to other Asian and western cuisine. After a bit of discussion we decided to try out a cafe that didn’t quite resemble the Shanghai, but was close enough to elicit some sense of nostalgia for our old hangout.
Opening the door and hearing several bells ring, we managed to find a seat near the middle of the dining area, which was rather cozy as the chairs were all plump and cushioned. To my right was a long counter of breads, cakes, and other snacks along with a barista serving coffee to people wanting something on the go. Apart from that, the look of the place was fairly Japanese, with wooden walls and floors and lanterns serving as lights. Several decorations hung on the wall from traditional paintings to calligraphy and even a Daruma doll.
After a bit of time spent reading the menu, the waiter came up to us and asked for our order. Hanako got a simple quiche and coffee, and I got curry rice and iced tea for myself. The waiter bowed and quickly moved to relay the order to the cooks, and the two of us continued looking around the cafe, feeling as if we were slightly out of touch with our new surroundings.
“T-This place is nice.” Hanako commented, though it sounded as if she were saying it to herself.
“Yeah, it’s certainly quaint,” I responded in an ambivalent tone, deciding to bring up the thought that was obviously on both our minds. “Not quite the Shanghai though, huh?”
Hanako was slightly taken aback, but ultimately nodded in agreement. Our food arrived faster than we had anticipated, and we decided to dig in. The curry rice was rather good, a nice balance of spicy and savory along with chunks of tender meat and potatoes. Judging from her expression, Hanako seemed to enjoy her quiche, which had chunks of mushroom and what I assumed was chicken.
“How long has it been since we went there?” I asked, trying to recall the last time we’ve set foot in that old haunt.
“I-I went there a few times while I w-was living with Emi,” Hanako said, almost sounding guilty as she did. “B-But t-that was more than a month ago, so…at least over a month for a-all five of us, I think.”
More than a month. That had been how long it had been since we last visited the Shanghai, and how long it had been since we left Yamaku as graduates, to forge a future for ourselves. How long it had been since all five of us hung out together.
Of course, we still contacted each other through messages and the like, especially Emi and her insistence that I do my daily exercises. Still, it definitely felt as if something was missing ever since leaving the academy and the subsequent preparations for college, a warm familiarity whose absence is underscored yet apparent.
“It’ll be a while until we can hang out together,” I noted as I took another bite of my curry. “All five of us.”
“Y-Yes…” Hanako responded morosely, and conversation began to die down once more.
The separation had happened the day after we moved out of the dorms and back to our parents, save for Hanako who lived with Emi instead. Following that was a period of preparing for college and scouting for a new living space, of which my parents were surprisingly cooperative. The meeting with them and Rin’s parents as they mutually deliberated on where to stay went surprisingly cordially, if stiff and slightly concerning at first.
Of course, it was also the first time where Hanako met both of our parents as well, which also added to the initial feeling of awkwardness.
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“This seems pretty spacious,” Mom said as she walked about the mostly empty apartment space, looking out onto the balcony. “Although I’m not sure if three people can stay here comfortably. There’s only one bedroom and bathroom, not to mention the surrounding area are all business buildings. Not a single restaurant in sight, apart from a convenience store.”
“Agreed,” commented Mr. Tezuka, turning his head as opposed to moving here and there, his eyes keenly observing the area. “We’d want at least two bedrooms, for Hisao’s friend if nothing else.”
“Speaking of which, where is your friend?” Mom asked as she turned towards me and Rin. “Shouldn’t she be here by now?”
All I could do was shrug. The place we were currently in was the first of many prospective living spaces that we managed to find out about through all manner of methods, from newspapers and advertisements. Rin, Hanako and I agreed that we would make our decision after looking at them all today, along with Mom and Mr. Tezuka.
It had been the first time I had seen Rin since we went back to our parents, though we managed to keep in touch through messaging each other through our phones, sometimes well into the night or until someone or something forced us to stop. When I wasn’t busy handling the paperwork to formalize my college acceptance, I spent my days hanging out with my old friends.
Unsurprisingly, they were all planning for college as well, all going to different ones with the exception of Iwanako and Shin. The two were going to continue their relationship, and so decided to attend the same college in the city so they wouldn’t have to move, while Mai and Takumi would be moving to their own apartments to pursue their chosen career paths.
Unlike with Emi and Miki, there was a sense of finality as we hung out, as if this was undoubtedly the last time we’d be together as a group. Everyone was going their own separate ways, and while there was certainly a possibility of a reunion, it felt as if it just wouldn’t be as frequent nor as impactful as with the friends I gained in Yamaku.
It made having fun difficult at times, though ultimately we managed to enjoy each other's company, living in the present without worrying about the end. I still had their numbers in my phone, so it didn’t mean they were gone from my life forever. If nothing else, our parting would be on better terms than when I was hospitalized for the first time.
“S-Sorry I’m late!” Hanako’s voice caused all of us to turn towards the open doorway, where Hanako’s head was barely peeking out of it, eventually entering the apartment. “T-There was a bit of traffic…”
I glanced at Mom, who was staring at Hanako rather blatantly, and I quickly nudged her elbow to grab her attention. She turned to me and I gave her a bit of a scowl, to which she thankfully seemed to understand and simply looked back with a much more natural expression.
On the other hand, Mr. Tezuka’s face did not move at all. “Good morning, Miss…” he said in his usual quiet tone.
“I-I’m Hanako. Hanako Izekawa. I-it’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Tezuka,” Hanako replied, bowing deeply before turning to Mom. “Y-You too, Mrs. Nakai.”
“The pleasure is mine, Hanako,” Mom said, coming up and shaking her head, which caused Hanako to almost jump. “Hisao has said a lot of good things about you, so I’m delighted to meet you at last.”
“T-Thank you…” Hanako looked as if she wanted to run out of the apartment, but ultimately stood firm as Mom continued to shake her hand before finally letting go.
“Oh I should be the one thanking you,” Mom insisted. “For looking after my son while he’s in college. I do worry about him so much, so it’s a relief to know that there’ll be someone to keep an eye on him.”
“You make it sound like I’m in need of surveillance or something,” I complained, trying to take some attention away from Hanako. “Or that I’m a kid needing a babysitter.”
“Well, considering that you were always sneaking out into the city while you thought we were asleep, perhaps you are,” Mom jabbed back, a playful reprimand that made me feel slightly mortified. “Did you really think you were being sneaky when you did so? We can hear the door open and close, you know.”
“I…never mind.” I responded, unable to come up with a defense as Mom laughed, followed by a faint giggle from Hanako and a barely noticeable smile from Mr. Tezuka.
“So you thought you were being sneaky, but you weren’t,” Rin pointed out, and while it wasn’t her intention, her blunt words added to my feelings of shame. “Like a rat sneaking out for food, but a cat sees it the entire time wanting to eat it. Except no one wants to eat your Hisao, except people who eat people but I’ve never met them even if they might exist.”
“Anyways, we were just about done scouting this place,” I said quickly, trying to change the subject and move ahead. “It’s nice, but not really what we’re looking for as a place to stay, I think. Would you want to look around and offer a second opinion?”
“O-Oh, that’s alright,” Hanako answered. “I-If you don’t think it’s suitable, then i-it probably isn't. I-I’d like someplace w-where all of us can agree on.”
“Then shall we move on?” Mr. Tezuka suggested in which we unanimously agreed. Mom and Mr. Tezuka took the lead as we left, while, Hanako, Rin, and I walked just a few steps behind them as we made our way to the next location on offer.
“Are you alright, Hanako?” I asked her on the way there. The street wasn’t particularly busy, though there were a number of people that passed us by.
“Y-Yes.” Hanako affirmed, though she looked as if something was on her mind that she wanted to say, even as she said nothing else.
“How was Emi?” Rin asked. “You saw her last, so you know how she is better than me or Hisao, like someone who was watching over a sparkler can tell how much longer it’ll be before it burns out even though it might burn out as they say it.”
“S-She’s alright, just getting ready for college,” Hanako answered, giving Rin a smile. “S-She was a really nice host…her mom, too. She always cooked breakfast for us, a-and I-I sometimes went grocery shopping with her.”
It was always nice to hear that Hanako was being more sociable, especially with how difficult it must be for someone like her. “Emi asked you to run with her, I bet?” I questioned dryly.
“J-Just a few times,” Hanako looked as if she were suppressing a giggle. “S-She said she texted you to make sure you d-did it as well.”
“Oh trust me, I’m aware,” I remarked with a roll of my eyes, my phone having received text after text from Emi reminding me to do my morning run, as if I would somehow completely stop doing so the moment I left her vicinity. Granted, I didn’t always run in the morning, but it was still consistent enough to feel confident that I was maintaining my body’s health.
Hanako looked as if she wanted to say something, but refrained from doing so. This time however, Rin seemed to notice.
“You look like words want to come out of your mouth,” Rin stated, causing Hanako to look at her with a flustered expression. “But words aren’t coming out, so you’re like a radio that wants to sing but can’t because pieces of it aren’t working, even though radios don't want things but sing anyways. So a radio has to sing unless it can’t.”
Hanako seemed to get what Rin was implying, and her face turned extremely shy, though a smile was still on her lips.
“I-I guess I just didn’t think something like this would happen…” Hanako stated as we stopped near a street, letting the cars pass by before crossing it. “E-Even now. B-But more than that, I didn’t think I-I’d be so excited about it as well…”
“Mm, I’m excited as well,” Rin said, nodding her head. “And worried, and bored, and other things. But the excitement is like the sun in a landscape painting. It’s not the biggest or the most noticeable thing, but you always seem to see it, unless it’s at night in which case it’s the moon that you always see even though some paintings don’t have either.”
I simply gave them a smile as we continued on our way, elated that all three of us were looking forward to living together despite our time apart.
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Once we finished our meal and ordered something for Rin the two of us headed for the grocery store nearby, not intent on buying much, but wanting to get a feel for what was available, and to get something to get us by for a few days. For the most part, I was merely accompanying Hanako as she selected ingredients for future meals, while I mostly bought snacks and pre-prepared foods.
Much to Hanako’s delight, the place had quite the variety of foodstuffs from fresh greens to meats that looked as if they were just sent here from the butcher. She took her time when selecting what to put into the basket we picked up at the entrance, and we ended up spending more time here than we’d intended. A part of me was worried about Rin, but I decided not to rush Hanako as she was clearly enjoying herself.
“I should probably learn how to cook, huh?” I remarked embarrassedly as I saw the basket that was slowly but surely filling up with rice, vegetables and even some beef. It really felt as if out of the three of us, Hanako was the only one who would be able to cook an actual meal if we ever decided to not eat out.
“I-I don’t mind cooking…” Hanako insisted as she grabbed some cucumber and tossed it into the basket. “I-I don’t know too many recipes myself, but maybe I’ll try to learn m-more. I-It’s always fun to m-make something new to taste.”
“Well, I’ll need to get started with the basics first,” I said as we finished buying everything we needed, taking both plastic bags which were rather heavy. “Well, until I learn to properly use the kitchen, I’ll take the responsibility of carrying the groceries at least.”
“T-Thank you,” Hanako replied in appreciation, the plastic bag containing Rin’s meal in her hand, which was the curry rice I had along with some soup. “W-We shouldn’t keep Rin waiting any longer.”
And so we made our way back to our apartment, though at a slower pace given the extra burden in our hands. By the time we had reached our apartment door it was already late afternoon, and when we entered Rin wasn’t on the couch.
I spotted her on the balcony, sitting down as she looked at what was beyond it, buildings and cars and people. After setting down the groceries I walked up towards her, seeing a wistful look on her face, but as she turned to face me she immediately got up and rested her head against my shoulder.
“I read your note,” she said, nuzzling my neck. “I know I shouldn’t really be worried about you, but I did anyway. It’s like knowing the sky won’t fall down but still thinking it might, even though the sky isn’t really something that can fall.”
“I’m sorry,” I responded, wrapping my arms around her in a hug. “You just seemed so tired, and I didn’t want to disturb you since you hadn’t been sleeping well lately.”
“Thank you, Hisao. For being here,” Rin replied, before I heard her stomach growl slightly. “I’m hungry.”
“We bought some lunch for you,” I assured her, laughing a little as I heard her stomach growl again. “Want to go back inside and eat?”
She didn’t answer immediately, looking back onto the view beyond the balcony before finally nodding. The two of us made our way back to where Rin had her meal on the floor, while I helped Hanako with putting all the groceries we bought into the appropriate places.
“I think we should start moving our stuff now,” I commented as I placed some snacks into a low cupboard. “If we delay any longer, we might not get fully unpacked until tomorrow.”
“Y-Yes, though I’m not sure we’ll be done before d-dinnertime,” Hanako responded. “W-We did have a pretty late lunch.”
“Not to mention that we’ll need to try getting used to our new rooms,” I added. “We can get started on some of it at least, then finish after dinner.”
With the two of us in agreement, we started the process of truly unpacking our stuff while Rin continued eating, opening the many cardboard boxes in the living room and unearthing the items tucked away. From useful items such as stationery and kettles to more sentimental items like photos, we started placing them where they were seemed most appropriate.
For most of Rin’s and my stuff, that place was the bedroom we now shared. A place that was certainly larger than my room in Yamaku, with faded green walls and queen sized bed. A large window gave us about as good a view as the balcony. When we came here the first time, Rin sat down on the bedroom floor to simply look out the window for the entirety of our visit. While that wasn’t the only, or even the main, aspect that sealed this place as our choice of accommodation, it certainly helped.
There was a long table to the right of the door, and it was there that I placed a few of the things I’d brought here, including a framed photo of me and my friends during Yamaku’s festival. Looking at it as I placed it near the end of the table, it already began to feel nostalgic even if it wasn’t that long ago.
By the time Rin was done with her curry rice, Hanako and I had already unloaded several boxes, slowly filling our rooms to truly make them ours.
“Can I move your art equipment to your new studio?” I asked Rin as she peered towards the balcony.
“Yes, please,” she answered, looking slightly forlorn. “Sorry I can’t help you, but I don’t have any hands and I can’t really move if I carry anything on my feet. It's like a bird trying to fly while using its wings to carry a branch for their nests.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I said, coming up to Rin and giving her a quick kiss on the forehead. “Go look out the balcony some more, if you want. I’ll join you later, alright?”
“Thank you, Hisao.” Rin gave me a kiss in return, and went back to the balcony. Once again I felt concerned for how she was adjusting to everything, but ultimately decided to trust that she was doing so in her own way, and went on to continue the work of making this apartment a home.
The third room, which had no bed and was really just empty space, was dedicated as both a storeroom and a place where Rin could do her art. Like our bedroom there was a rather large window on the right side of the room, perfect for letting in sunlight and for viewing some scenery. Unfortunately we weren’t allowed to repaint the walls, which were a rather dull gray that didn’t look all that appealing. Parts of the tiled floor were also a bit loose, but otherwise it was a serviceable area.
There wasn’t a table in the room either, though that was perfectly fine as Rin would be putting her brushes and paints on the floor anyways. Her paints were the first thing I placed in the room. I didn’t really have a desired layout in mind when I unpacked, merely placing things where I thought was best without much thought behind it.
Hanako occasionally went in and out of the room as well, placing things that she didn’t really want in her room together in a corner on this one. Each time I came back to the living room in order to grab more stuff like paint bottles, easels, canvases and the like, I peeked at Rin sitting on the balcony, looking calm and thoughtful.
The sun was close to setting by the time I was finished unloading most of Rin’s art equipment, the easels in the middle with the paints, brushes, canvases and other items surrounding it in a semi circular pattern. It was a task that ended up being much tiring than expected, and left me slightly out of breath as I exited what now looked like a proper art studio.
There were still boxes in the living room, the empty ones being stashed in the storeroom for future use. Seeing it made me grimace slightly at the fact that our work was unfinished, but at the same time I couldn’t muster enough energy to continue it. I went to the kitchen and poured two cups of water and carried them to the balcony.
Sitting beside Rin, I placed one cup on the floor while lifting the other to her lips, which she sipped from before shifting her body to rest on mine.
“How do you feel, Hisao?” Rin asked, looking straight into me with those green eyes of hers.
“Tired,” I replied dryly. “And sweaty, and messy.”
“I feel weird, and I don’t know why even though a part of me does,” Rin said. “It’s like the first time I moved into my dorm room in Yamaku.”
“Yeah, it definitely is similar, but happier for me in this case,” I hesitated a bit before saying the next part. “When I moved into Yamaku, I had just been hospitalized because of my heart attack, not to mention having just found out about my condition. So it wasn’t really a happy occasion when I had to stay there.”
“But if you didn’t, I wouldn’t have seen you,” Rin brought up. “I think I would have been sad, even though you wouldn’t be in my mind because we would never meet, so I wouldn’t have a reason to be. Like a plant being sad that it can’t grow any fruit, even though it doesn’t know what a fruit is because a plant can’t really think.”
“I feel the same way,” I assured Rin, placing the other cup down and wrapping my arms around her. “I don’t regret coming to Yamaku, because it’s where I met you. The woman that I’ve grown to love, and to treasure.”
“Mm, it’s good that you said ‘grown’,” Rin leaned onto me, her head on my chest. “I didn’t think you loved me when we met, and I even think you hated me a little. But now you do, even though I’m not sure why that is.”
“The beginning of our relationship was really frustrating, wasn’t it?” I admitted with a bit of laughter, a fact which highlights both how distant those times were, but also that it was a problem that we’ve long since overcome. “I think we weren’t exactly in the best of states back then. I was still trying to find out what I wanted to do with my life, and you were trying to find yourself.”
“I think I still am,” she said, slumping down. “But I think I know where to go, even if I don’t know which way to turn to get there just yet. Like knowing a place to eat but not knowing what road to get to it.”
“You’ll reach there eventually,” I replied with confidence, before asking a bit less confidently, “Are you scared of college?”
Rin nodded with a bit of reluctance. “Mom and Dad had a long talk about classes and everything, but honestly even though I tried to listen it felt like they were talking in a different language, like a Russian man thinking someone is speaking French even though they were speaking Russian.”
“Well, think of it like your first classes in Yamaku,” I advised. “It’ll be intimidating at first, but you’ll get used to it.”
“And then…” Rin looked up at me, as if expecting that I’ll finish that sentence for her.
“And then you’ll graduate, and…well…” I felt a little uneasy with continuing that line of thought, my memories quickly heading back to her first art gallery. “You’ll be a professional artist.”
“I’ll sell my art,” Rin said plainly. “I’ll be selling pieces of me for money…that sounds alright. People need money, and I’m a person. So I’ll sell myself.”
“Yeah…” I couldn’t help but feel that it was wrong to agree with her, yet I did. Rin sounded at peace with the fact that she would have to sell her art, which had been a touchy subject in the past. Having sold some at the festival did help her come to accept the necessity of it, but there was still the underlying problem that was the root of the problem.
Namely that she made art to express herself, to try and get people to understand who she was or how she was feeling, and most of the time someone else’s interpretation of it would fall short. And now she was committed to doing that for a living.
“People won’t understand,” she added, once again without forlornness or disappointment. “The world they see in the painting won’t be the same world that I used to paint it. I can try to paint something that people might understand, but not a lot of them would be from me even though I’ll be the one painting them.”
I didn’t utter a word, unable to really find an ideal situation to her dilemma. All I did was hold her closer, watching the sun continue to go down. Suddenly I heard some noise coming from her stomach, and the two of us looked at each other.
“I’m hungry,” she muttered in a monotone voice. “I was hungry before, then I wasn’t, but now I am again…”
“I can eat right now. Maybe it’s all the moving I’ve been doing,” I answered, the conversation we had dropped for the time being. “But I suppose it is about time we have some dinner. Let’s go back in and see what Hanako wants to do.”
Rin nodded in agreement, and the two of us slowly got up and reentered the living room, where we could smell the scent of something from the kitchen. The two of us silently walked there until we saw Hanako cooking at the stove, the fragrant scent of something savory filling the air.
She seemed immersed in the act of making the meal, an unguarded smile on her face as she hummed and tasted what was in the pot in front of her, which turned out to be some sort of beef stew. Hanako added some more seasoning before noticing the two of us, almost jumping back at the sight as a blush lit her face.
“H-How long were you two standing there?” Hanako asked, sounding slightly embarrassed.
“Not long,” Rin replied. “For us, anyway. It might be long for you, like how one person says an hour is too short but another one says an hour is too long, even though you can’t tell how long time is by using a ruler.”
“I-I see…” Hanako glanced back at her cooking before turning back to us. “I-I finished moving my things…a-and I thought we'd be too tired to go out anyways, so I’m making us dinner, if that’s alright.”
“I’m hungry.” Rin stated simply.
“Yeah, that’s actually really nice of you. Thanks, Hanako.” I added, sounding appreciative.
“I-It’s no trouble at all, I-I really felt like cooking, a-actually. Hanako’s smile returned, though it was far more subdued. “I-I’m still not done yet, so you two might w-want to take a shower first. There isn’t much left to move, and t-the day’s made everyone a little…well…”
“Sweaty?” I finished with an amused look on my face, which she nodded in response. “Alright, I suppose we should try getting used to our new bathrooms, huh?”
“Trying a new bathroom…” Rin’s mind seemed to linger on those words. “It’s like trying for a new ship, except when a ship breaks you can’t sail, but if a bathroom breaks you can’t pee unless you do it on the floor. But that’d be bad.”
Now it was my turn to blush, her last words being so crass that it took me off guard.
“Right…” I affirmed before walking towards our bedroom, unsure of just what to think of that last statement. Rin unsurprisingly didn’t seem to be affected by it and already looked like she was thinking of something else.
Yet another instance of her unpredictability.
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Thankfully, the bathroom turned out to be a rather easy adjustment for the both of us, particularly when it came after Yamaku’s communal showers. The shower had plenty of space for us to wash ourselves together, something that I suspected we’d be doing far more often now that we’ve got a level of privacy that we’d never really had before.
By the time we finished getting clean and had a change of clothes, Hanako had already set up our meal on the dining table, plates of rice in front of each chair and a pot containing the stew in the middle of it. A simple meal, but there was a homey quality to it that made it feel more satisfying to eat.
Conversation was a little sparse, both from the exhaustion of moving and the fact that there was simply nothing on my mind to talk about, though it was nevertheless a very comfortable atmosphere that surrounded us as we ate our dinner.
Once we were all done, I offered to clean things up while Hanako went to get a shower and retire for the night, clearly ready to end her day. Rin meanwhile wanted to go back onto the balcony, and I simply told her I would join her when I was finished with washing the dishes, which she agreed to.
Grabbing everything on the table, I dumped them all into the sink before washing them one by one with soapy water, making sure to scrub out any stains and that they didn’t leave off any sort of odor before leaving them to dry. I even double checked in case I missed anything, which I thankfully didn’t.
I wondered if I had ever been this meticulous when washing dishes before. I was fairly sure I hadn’t been. Either I was starting to grow up, or moving into a new place had made me more of a neat freak than I used to be.
The moment I was satisfied, I walked back out onto the balcony, the view now showing the cityscape in all its beauty. Rin was sitting where she’d previously been, and I had the sneaking suspicion that it would be her spot whenever she wanted to be here. Unlike before though, I saw a pencil and a sketch pad in front of her.
“Want to sketch something?” I asked as Rin looked up at me.
“Mhm, but I can’t even though I really can,” She replied. “Something’s missing, even though nothing really is. Like a jar of cookies that’s missing one cookie, so nobody would really notice unless someone wanted the cookie jar to have that many cookies before one was missing.”
I sat down beside her and looked up at the sky, the stars and the clouds arrayed in a chaotic yet harmonious sequence, though I couldn’t really identify any constellations due to the light of the city. “What do you think is missing?”
Rin didn’t answer and instead simply moved herself in front of me and leaned back, her head brushing against my chest. It was only after she nuzzled the top of her head against my neck a few times that she gave me an answer. “I think it was you, Hisao.”
“Well, I’m not missing anymore,” I noted with a smile, wrapping my arms around her in a warm hug. “So, think you can sketch now?”
“Yes.”
That was all she said before her feet began to move, grabbing the pencil and using it to draw in the sketch pad, starting with a single line. Then several more lines to form shapes, slowly but surely starting to form something resembling a background.
It wasn’t until she was a decent chunk of the way in that I saw that it was the balcony, with the two of us sitting in the corner. Rin was drawing it as if it was the view of a bird looking down at us, capturing the floor, the door leading back into the living room, and the sky all in a single image.
Our faces couldn’t be seen, as the sketch only showed the back of our heads, but my hands were clearly wrapped around her in a hug like the one I was doing right now. It was a piece that looked hopeful yet melancholic, comforting yet inspiring the desire for comfort as well.
“It’s us,” I mentioned offhandedly, tightening my hug. “It looks really beautiful.”
“Mm, and warm even though it’s night and it should be cold,” Rin mentioned. “I wanted to draw this because it feels…right, and it feels like something that I need to draw. It helps me think about tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that.”
“The future.”
“Yes, the future. My future, and yours as well,” Rin let out a yawn and slumped back onto me. “I’m tired, Hisao.”
“Do you want to sleep?” I asked, looking up at where the moon was, slowly reaching its peak as midnight loomed near. “We have things to do tomorrow.”
“Mm, I want to sleep here, even though I know I shouldn’t.” Rin seemed to ponder the possibility a little more. “Hisao, can you let me sleep here?”
“If you’d like,” I said in an amused tone, but added in a slightly more serious voice. “But only if I get to carry you to bed once you do. I wouldn’t want you to freeze out here.”
“But you’ve moved my stuff, and brought me lunch, and water to drink,” Rin replied, sounding conflicted and almost guilty. “Do you not get tired of doing things for me, Hisao? After doing it so many times, like a bear being sick of eating fish after having it every day for a year.”
“No.” The answer came quickly. “I mean, long ago I realized that I’ll be doing a lot of things for you, but I don’t mind. It comes with being in a relationship.”
“But I don’t do much for you, at least I think I don’t,” Rin said, the guilt in her voice increasing. “I kiss you and hug you, have sex with you, but that isn’t helping you except for the thing in your pants. You help all of me, and I don’t feel like I can help all of you.”
“You do help all of me,” I assured her, kissing the top of her head. “You make me happy, more than I can really say. When I was in Yamaku, you dragged me out of the hole I was in, whether I liked it or not. I’ve become a better person, and it’s all because of you Rin.”
“Really?” Rin asked, as if she wanted to be sure. “I don’t think I can drag people out of holes. Having no hands makes it difficult.”
“Really,” I said, and she seemed content with that answer, saying nothing else as she slowly drifted off to sleep. I couldn’t help but look down at her face, seeing how beautiful she was underneath the night sky, the wind gently blowing her hair.
Eventually though, I gently lifted her into my arms as I got up, careful not to do anything that might disturb her sleep as I got back into the living room. There was a dead quiet as I entered compared to the subdued but pleasant noises from outside, Hanako in her room either asleep or doing her own thing.
Entering our bedroom, I gently laid Rin down onto the bed, briefly exiting to take the cups from the balcony and wash them. After checking one final time that everything was properly locked, I headed back into the bedroom where she was thankfully still asleep, looking as if she were completely at peace.
“Goodnight, Rin,” I managed to say before falling asleep myself. With college and all of its stressful assignments and lessons looming, I wondered when we’d have a night as peaceful as this again.
