Re: Beyond The Haze : A Lilly pseudo-route - II-14 added 13-10-2024
Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2024 4:00 pm
Good job on this chapter, Razor!
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Beyond The Haze : A Lilly pseudo-route - II-14 added 13-10-2024
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Re: Beyond The Haze : A Lilly pseudo-route - II-14 added 13-10-2024
Posted: Mon Oct 14, 2024 4:25 pm
Nice to see this is back. Your English has definitely improved!
I'm a little confused where the tension with Sumire is coming from though. Suddenly describing Kaori as a troublemaker now, 24 chapters in, doesn't feel like it fits with her characterization up to this point.
Re: Beyond The Haze : A Lilly pseudo-route - II-14 added 13-10-2024
Posted: Mon Oct 14, 2024 4:32 pm
Thank you Sharpy (for your job correcting the chapter by the way) and thanks SilentM too 
For your answer, describing her as a troublemaker was more of a Lullaby of an Open Heart thing, but I wanted to add it in this story too. Maybe doing it that late in the story wasn't the best choice, I admit.