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So is the dress blue and black, or gold and white?

So, um, I assume no one will assault me if I happily return to referring to Emi's hair as "pink?" Because I'll probably end up doing it subconsciously anyway.

scratchminus wrote:So, um, I assume no one will assault me if I happily return to referring to Emi's hair as "pink?" Because I'll probably end up doing it subconsciously anyway.

In my opinion if you are writing for an audience you should make yourself as clear as possible, even if that means trying to change your own habits. But at the end of the day it is your story and your interpretation of the characters so you have complete freedom in that regard.

Plus after all the pictures and discussion I don’t think people will be as confused as they were before. =D

scratchminus wrote:So, um, I assume no one will assault me if I happily return to referring to Emi's hair as "pink?" Because I'll probably end up doing it subconsciously anyway.

Only in daylight, especially when the light's behind her. At night it's brown, especially under fluorescent light.

Start Date: April 8, 2015

*NOTE* I will probably continue to refer to Emi's hair as pink. Sorry if that bothers you. Also, sorry for taking so long with this. Exams were killing me. :c
Now go enjoy the finale of Stopping Short. <3
EDIT: For the curious, the "special reward" will be revealed in the epilogue...an epilogue of an epilogue, huh? So, an EpiEpilogue? Or is it an EmiEpilogue? EmiEmilogue? Fuck it, you'll see in a few weeks time.

Stopping Short - Chapter 5: The Finale

"AAAHCHOOOO!"

Ah crap, it's cold in here.

Did I forget to turn on the heater or something?

Oh wait, it's summer...so why the hell is it so cold?

I open my eyes slowly, moving my hands to my face to rub the sleep out of them. Stretching gradually as I sit up, I notice something beside me. Or rather, a lack of something.

Where did that girl run off to now?

Before I leap out of bed and begin another frantic search for Emi, my mind jumps back to Sunday afternoon.

'C’mon, Emi. We’ll run again tomorrow, alright?'

Repressing my undue panic, I reach the logical conclusion that Emi has simply headed down to the track for our previously scheduled run. Albeit it is a bit earlier than usual, but that's hardly something to get worked up over in Emi's case.

Casually sliding out of bed, I make the usual preparations and head out to meet with the pigtailed wonder.

==========

The sun peeks over the horizon as I make my way down to the track. Already I can tell that today is gonna be rather warm despite how early it is. At least the morning's exercise will be out of the way before it gets too bad.

As I draw nearer to the track another oddity strikes me. The distinct lack of the usual "click click clicking" sounds makes the air feel strangely still and empty.

Perhaps she's still warming up?

I quicken my pace, a small flutter of worry sending my heartbeat into an unsteady rhythm. Emi's training has definitely made my body more capable of enduring physical stress, but emotional stress is an entirely different beast.

I'm sure she's fine. Just don't worry so much, Hisao...

The black surface of the track finally comes into view.

Not a single runner in sight.

My pulse quickens.

It's fine. Everything is fine. I'm sure she's just with Rin or in her room or back at the male dorm or with Nurse or...

These thoughts flit through my head at a somewhat incomprehensible rate as I make a hasty 180 and begin jogging to the Nurse's office.

==========

Nowhere.

This girl is nowhere.

All my options exhausted, I plop down by the wall in front of the dorms, leaning against Rin's mural dejectedly. I open my phone and dial Emi's number for what must be the thirteenth time, the result exactly the same as the twelve times prior: straight to voicemail. I try getting a hold of Meiko once more, but calling her phone results in nothing but a busy signal. Sighing, I let my arm drop and look up to the sky.

The sun is finally making its presence known to all, rising up fully over the horizon and bathing the earth in its warm glow. Aside from the occasional cloud here and there the sky is largely empty, leaving me gazing up at a massive blue void.

Probably all the better so I can think more clearly. Admittedly though, this wasn’t what I wanted when I hoped for a moment without distractions yesterday.

I’ll hang on the optimistic side and say that Emi is safe. At the very least, I’m almost positive that she left of her own will, so that isn’t really the problem here. The problems are why did she leave and where did she go?

*Sigh* Alright, first things first, her motivation for disappearing.

……

Because she was hiding something from me? I’m pretty confident that that had something to do with it. What exactly she was and still is hiding isn’t quite clear yet, but that can wait. What’s important is that she left because she felt like there was something she couldn’t tell me. She’s definitely grown, but she’s still the same ol’ Emi, huh?

So now, where would she go when something emotional like this started nipping at her mind? Likely someplace comforting, but I doubt it’d be back to her house. I’ve already explored all the places she might be in Yamaku, so that’s out as well. As far as I’m aware, Emi doesn’t have any other places with her current family or friends that she frequents. So just where could sh-

!!

In a split-second I’m on my feet and flying towards the school gates.

The bus stop. I’ve gotta get to the bus stop NOW!

Thanking my past self for deciding to change out of my exercise clothing while visiting my room earlier, I race through the gate and begin thundering down the hill leading to the small town below Yamaku.

Wait for me Emi. I’ll be there…

Promise.

==========

Thoroughly exhausted from my earlier sprint, I sit on the bus and attempt to quietly restore my breathing and heartbeat to normal. The pulsing in my chest is dramatically uneven, but I haven’t started seeing spots yet so I refuse to quit now.

The bus churns down the street at an agonizingly slow pace, leaving me itching to get to my destination. Grumbling to myself, I lean back in the seat and stare out the window. My faint reflection stares right back as if silently questioning me.

‘C’mon, Hisao, are you sure you know what you’re doing? Have you thought of everything just yet?’

What do you mean “have I thought of everything?”

‘I’m sure you’re right about Emi’s disappearance being related to whatever she’s been hiding for the past day or so, but have you given more thought to WHAT she’s been keeping hidden?’

Isn’t it more important just to find her and make sure she’s alright first?

‘No, Hisao. It isn’t. Some tough hero charging in on his white stallion to save the day is exactly what Emi does NOT want. She doesn't need someone to save her, she likely just wants someone who cares. If you’re gonna do this, you need to think about it first.’

…shit.

‘Exactly. Now calm yourself and THINK for once, Hisao.’

I didn’t realize my conscience was such a snarky asshat.

‘The longer you keep quipping at me, the more hurt Emi's gonna be.’

Sorry, sorry. But I’m still at a loss for what Emi is hiding. Doesn’t she trust me?

‘Maybe she wants to, but she just can’t force it. Think back, Hisao. What is one of Emi’s biggest fears?’

Getting close to people, definitely. She’s afraid of bonding with someone and having them wrenched out of her life.

‘Good. Keep going.’

Well, people have to earn your trust before you can form a bond with them. I'm almost certain that I had earned Emi's trust before this all happened, so if she’s afraid of getting close to me isn’t it a bit too late for that? And doesn’t she trust me enough to talk to me about these things?

‘You keep saying that, Hisao. Haven’t you made the connections?’

Are you saying that…Emi sees this entire incident as me being slowly ripped out of her life?

‘Holy hell, boys! The kid ain’t brain dead after all!’

But she knows I don’t have actual feelings for Iwanako, doesn’t she?

‘What she knows and what she feels don’t always have to coincide.’

In other words, she knows how I feel but the trust is already wounded?

‘…most likely…’

So what can I do?

‘I'm not sure, but in no way should you make her think you're trying to fix her. She can handle herself, but you need to make sure she knows that you understand that. Only then can you regain her trust.'

How would Emi want me to go about this?

'I only know as much as you do, Hisao. I can’t answer every question…’

Then how did you know Emi’s feelings from the start?

‘Because YOU knew. I just helped force it to the front of your brain.’

…huh.

‘You really are a doof, numbskull.’

Then wouldn’t that make you-

‘Yes, haha, you’re hilarious. Shut up and get off the bus.’

The “conversation” ends just in time as the bus lurches to a halt at my destination. Tearing my gaze away from the reflection in the window, I quickly rise from my seat and exit the bus. As I step out of the climate controlled interior of the vehicle, my body is met with the blistering summer heat. Instantly, sweat begins to form across my skin.

Doing my best to ignore the temperature, I put my feet in motion down the sidewalk in the direction of the departing bus. Within minutes I’m standing on the opposite side of the street, gazing across at a familiar archway.

I’m here…so what now?

Decision

1. Wait for Emi outside

2. Find and talk to Emi

Stopping Short – Chapter 5: The Finale

Decision 1: Wait for Emi outside

Barging in on my white charger to “save the day” can’t be a good idea. I may be able to talk to her and get her to realize that I care, but in the end she’ll probably just see it as me being the hero that protects my so-called “damsel in distress.”

Don’t worry, Emi. I’ve learned my lesson.

Rather than entering the structure, I opt to sit down on a bench directly across the street. From this position, I’ll be able to see Emi as soon as she exits. Hopefully it won’t be too much longer before she does, because I don’t know how long I can stand this heat.

Despite the excruciatingly warm sensation that the sun produces on my flesh, I wait patiently (though uncomfortably) for the small girl to return. Besides, I’m sure she wants to be alone right now…

In my mind I can picture her clearly, squatting in front of that specific slab of stone, staring quietly at the name engraved on its surface.

She always turns to her father.

When things begin to spiral out of control, it seems as though he’s the first one she goes to for help. Naturally, there’s not much that he can do for her anymore, but I’m willing to bet that her visits are mainly for psychological reassurance more so than anything.

Although I was kind of hoping that I could become that person that she always goes to when in need.

Not that that would make a lot of sense with me being the core of the problem here.

A blurry shape suddenly appears in my unfocused vision, interrupting my thoughts. Focusing in on the blob, I recognize the form as Emi Ibarazaki, slowly making her way towards the exit. As I stand from my place on the bench, something about the small girl catches my eye. Even from this distance it’s clear that she’s exhausted. Her clothes are wrinkled, her gait is slow and labored, and her face is a mask, portraying none of her characteristic energy and vigor.

She looks lifeless.

Rather than call out to her, I stand by the curb and wait for her gaze to find me. Fortunately, this occurs the moment she exits under the archway of the cemetery. However, her dull expression and vacant eyes do not change.

Mechanically, Emi begins to click in my direction, maintaining a sluggish pace that I would never expect her to be able to stick to. Everything about her movements and posture is the complete antithesis of “Emi.”

I stay rooted to my spot on the curb, afraid to move towards the pink-haired girl crossing the street.

This isn’t Emi.

This CAN’T be-

BBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!

The blaring of a car horn snaps me out of my thoughts, sending an entirely new wave of fear and panic through my body. A red sports car, clearly a vehicle that’s designed to hit velocities far beyond the speed limit, barrels down the road. Due to her lethargic state and lack of awareness, Emi finds herself directly in the path of the oncoming red blur.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!

Emi stands in the road, stock still.

A deer in the headlights.

My feet move on their own.

Off the curb.

Through the first lane.

Across the median.

Launching into Emi.

Locking my arms around her.

Flinging us towards the sidewalk.

Twisting midair.

Crashing onto the pavement.

…

………

………………

The sound of a roaring engine passes by and begins fading into the distance. I stay silent for a moment, waiting to see if the pain of an injury appears. Aside from the erratic beating of my heart, nothing seems out of place.

Opening my eyes, I’m met face to face with two large green disks, staring at me with a mixture of fear and relief swirling around inside of them.

Safe. We’re safe.

Rolling onto my back, I push myself off of the hard concrete and turn back to Emi, extending my hand to her. The girl stares up at me with a wary expression, but slowly and reluctantly reaches up towards me, latching onto my-

Oomph!

Emi’s hand is suddenly torn away from mine. Or, more accurately, I’m torn away from her as my body careens through the air, landing on the sidewalk with a THUMP! that knocks the wind out of me.

What the hell…?

Upon opening my eyes I’m greeted by a bright blue sky swirling with black dots. I try to sit up to see what just blindsided me, but the throbbing pain in my chest prevents me from doing so. It takes an immense amount of effort to turn my head in what I believe to be the direction of my “assailant.”

My eyes settle first upon Emi, still sitting on the ground where she had first landed after my flying tackle. Her hands cover her mouth as she stares at me, wide-eyed, quivering slightly. Just beyond her I can make out, through my increasingly blackening vision, an overturned bicycle with the form of its rider lying sprawled on the pavement.

The sharp and erratic beating of my heart confirms my fears about the event that just unfolded.

Riding his bike down the sidewalk. Rounding the corner quickly. Suddenly faced with a foreign object rising from the ground with little to no time to react.

It’s hard to blame the guy.

It’s not his fault.

I attempt to take in a deep breath, but an electric jolt in my lungs cuts the action short. Something (likely a rib) is stabbing at the organ, sending small bursts of pain through me with every shallow breath.

Emi still hasn’t moved.

The blackened edges of my sight begin to take on a reddish hue, growing steadily across my eyes.

Goddamn. I thought I was in better shape than this. I suppose my heart was already racing after I leapt across the road to save Emi. Even still. Done in by a fucking bicycle?

The thought is so absurd that I begin to chuckle, causing me to cough and sputter violently.

Ah shit, is that blood?

Is this my punishment?

Trying so hard not to be the shining knight on my white charger and in the end that’s exactly what I became. Not that I regret saving her life.

Is Emi still there?

I muster my last remnants of strength and turn in her general direction.

Barely visible through the redness shrouding my vision is a figure rising from the ground. Despite the frantic look of the action, the person seems to be moving in slow motion.

“Hisao!!!!”

Emi?

“You can’t leave me!!!”

She’s sobbing.

“You promised!!!”

Oh shit, I suppose I did say something along those lines. Nothing to be done about that now…

“Hisaaaaaaaaaaoooooooo!!!”

Clicking. A shadowy blur growing larger. She must be coming this way.

I attempt to draw another ragged breath, but it catches in my throat.

Not painful, but I just can’t inhale anymore.

Red swarms my eyesight.

Sorry, Emi.

I can’t.

“HISAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!”

I take one final look at the figure before my vision fails entirely and my mind goes dark.

Running. Sprinting forward. Racing towards an unreachable finish line. Just barely stopping short.

Stopping Short – Chapter 5: The Finale

Decision 2: Find and talk to Emi

Standing here and staring at that arch will solve nothing. I care about her. I want to see her. I want to be there as comfort and reassurance.

This isn’t to save her.

This isn’t to protect her.

This is to show that I love and support her in every way.

After my brief mental pep talk, I take a deep breath, look both ways, and head across the street. Without breaking my stride I reach the sidewalk and immediately enter the cemetery.

It hasn’t been too long since I was last here, but it still takes a moment for me to get my bearings and begin moving in the correct direction. Within a minute I spot a familiar figure sitting cross-legged in front of a headstone.

Clad in a white t-shirt with a green tank top and khaki shorts, Emi is seated in the grass with her head bowed deeply. Her posture contains none of the usual confidence and energy that is a staple of Emi’s character. The complete lack of movement makes the small girl look…lifeless. At the thought a chill runs through my spine.

Taking another deep breath, I begin to approach Emi, making a point of taking louder steps to avoid startling her. Even as I move straight to her side and settle down next to her on the grass, Emi remains entirely frozen, not stirring in the slightest.

“Hey, Emi.”

I offer a casual greeting and hope for the best. Without turning to face me, Emi replies.

“Hi…Hisao…”

A slow and extremely quiet reply at that.

“What are you doing out here?” I ask carefully, fearing that the slightest slip up could be devastating.

“I could ask you the same thing,” she whispers. “Here to fix everything and save helpless little Emi?”

The sudden accusation catches me off-guard and causes my brain to falter momentarily. Fortunately, I came prepared for something like this. I just wasn’t expecting it to come up quite this early.

Breathing deeply (third time’s the charm), I deliver a calm response.

“Nope.”

“Listen, Hisao, I don’t ne-“

Emi’s voice comes to an abrupt halt as she processes what I just said.

“…Did you say no?” she murmurs.

“Yup.”

“…then…why…”

It’s clear that the girl wasn’t exactly ready for an answer of that sort, so I push forward with a newfound confidence.

“Because I WANT to be here, not because you NEED me here.”

Emi stays silent, offering no input of her own just yet.

“Maybe I’m here for me,” I continue, hoping that this is coming across correctly. “Maybe I feel like I need YOU sometimes."

The girl next to me averts her gaze, opting instead to stare at the flowers laid out in front of her father's grave. I can't tell if she believes me or not, so it's probably about time to wrap this up. Quietly, I rise to my feet, dusting off the grass and small bits of dirt that are clinging to my pants. Noticing my movement, Emi's eyes flit in my direction, betraying the small amount of curiosity she's attempting to mask.

I whisper a silent prayer to some unknown deity and open my mouth to speak.

"Emi, do you mind doing me a favor?" I ask in what I can only hope is a gentle tone of voice.

The small girl ponders this for a moment before consenting. "What...do you need?"

"Could you stand up and walk with me for a second?"

It's an odd sounding question. I realize that. The timing might be far from ideal, but this is necessary.

Emi gazes at me for a moment longer, seemingly searching for an explanation. When nothing of the sort is delivered, she sighs quietly and pushes herself to her prosthetic feet. I set off immediately after we stand and Emi quickly falls into step alongside me.

The two of us make our way though the cemetery, weaving in and out between the graves as we move towards the exit. Neither of us start a conversation, instead taking in the sounds of birds chirping in the trees and wind pushing its way through the leaves, rustling them in a gentle manner. The sun warms our skin while we walk, blazing in the sky and emitting even more heat than before I had entered the cemetery.

After a moment the front archway comes into view. Beyond it we can now spot the street which seems to be rather deserted at the moment. Upon crossing the border between the threshold and the outside world I come to a halt, stopping at the edge of the sidewalk and glancing both directions down the road. To the east I hear the roar of an engine; before long a bright red sports car comes into view, screaming down the street and buffeting us with wind as it passes. The car moves down the road away from us and I silently declare the area to be safe.

"Could you go across the street and pick one of those flowers, Emi?" I request, pointing towards a flowerbed filled with bright plant life.

Clearly confused but seeing no reason to object, Emi looks both ways once more before striding across the street. Keeping myself rooted to my spot on the curb, I watch her proceed to the other side of the asphalt. Once she has crossed, the small girl stoops down and carefully plucks a flower from the earth. With the task completed, Emi pivots on her heels and begins to return, though her eyes are aimed at something to my left.

Turning, I notice a cyclist rounding the corner quickly and speeding down the sidewalk. Air rushes over my back as he passes behind me and continues on down the pavement. The event instills a minor amount of fear into me, as I was merely a foot away from being directly in his path.

Pulling my gaze away from the retreating man on his bike, I turn towards Emi to find that she is back by my side. In her hand is one flower, a dainty blue plant of some kind with inner splashes of white mixed among it. Hell if I know what type of flower it actually is, but it's quite beautiful.

"You've got quite an eye for these types of things," I say nonchalantly. "That's a really nice flower you picked out."

Emi smiles a bit in response, regaining more of that cheerful disposition that defines her. "So what next?" she asks, assuming that more tasks are coming.

"Let's head back," I answer her, spinning around and walking back under the archway and into the cemetery.

After a few moments we find ourselves back at her father's grave. Once we arrive, Emi leans over and places the flower next to the bouquet that already adorns the smooth slab of stone. Without a word, she fixates her eyes on me with an air of expectation.

Phase 1 complete. On to phase 2.

Before I can initiate, however, Emi interjects.

"Are you going to explain what the point of that was, Hisao?" she inquires in a tone that only seems slightly befuddled.

"I will," I assure her. "But first, do you mind sitting down for me?"

Keeping her sight locked onto me, the girl plops down in the grass where she was seated before my arrival. Wasting no time at all, I lean over next to her and scoop her into my arms, bridal style.

"Hey, whoa, Hisao! What are you doing?!"

"I promise I'll explain, Emi. Please, just let me do this."

"You'd better start explaining right now, Nakai." Emi glares up at me from my arms which, while a rather fierce expression, is pretty darn cute in its own way.

I sigh and nod in agreement. "Alright. I'll explain as we go." With that, I set off down the same path we took moments earlier.

"I think I finally understand what you've been wanting me to understand, Emi," I begin, trekking slowly towards the entrance of the cemetery. "I don't think this is just a fight like I had first assumed, and I believe you're not exactly angry at me. This is an issue revolving around trust, isn't it?"

The girl stays quiet, but the way she awkwardly shifts her gaze and tries to avoid looking at me answers my question.

"You're afraid that if Iwanako could appear out of nowhere and almost snatch me out of your life, then practically anything could steal me away from you, right? I imagine it's hard to trust me when I say I won't leave you, especially after an incident like that."

Silence.

"You might very well be sick of me trying to fix everything about you, too, huh? I'm really sorry, Emi. That's not what I'm trying to do at all, honestly."

"Then what ARE you trying to do, Hisao?" Emi mutters in my arms.

"I just...I just want you to be able to trust me. To trust me enough to believe me when I say that I know you can take care of yourself. And to trust that I can take care of you despite the fact that you don't need my help."

I stop just as we pass through the archway and onto the sidewalk, glancing backwards at the path we just traveled.

"I know that you can get yourself from place to place, but sometimes I enjoy being your legs."

Looking back out towards the street, I check for traffic before moving across it with Emi in tow. Upon reaching the opposite side, I look back down towards the girl.

"I know that you're capable of protecting yourself from dangers like cars, but sometimes I enjoy being your protector."

Setting my sights onto the flower bed, I scan over the dirt before finding a flower similar to the one Emi picked out earlier, though with an orange color rather than a blue one.

"I know that you're able to make your own decisions and have good judgment, but sometimes I enjoy picking things out for you."

Handing Emi the flower, I turn around and silently retrace my steps again, taking us all the way back to her father. I crouch down close to the ground and allow her to place the orange flower next to her blue one. The two added colors alone create a nice change which livens up the gray of the headstone. Still cradling the small girl in my arms, I sit down in front of the grave once more. For a moment, neither of us speak. Unfortunately, I have to be the one to break the silence and finish what I started.

"Emi."

She looks up at the sound of her name, meeting my steady gaze with her not so steady one.

"I know that you can do anything and everything that is necessary for you to live your life. I understand that you don't need me to do those things for you. Sometimes, though, I just want to do them. And I want you to trust me enough to allow me to do them. Not because I think you need help, but because I love you and I want to always be there for you. After all, you're always there for me, right?"

Emi nods her head slowly, keeping her eyes firmly locked onto mine.

"So...do you believe me? That you being unable to handle yourself is NOT the reason that I offer my help?"

A moment of silence before her response.

"I believe you, Hisao," Emi murmurs quietly, staring up at me.

I crack a smile at her words. "Meaning that you also trust me when I say I won't leave you?"

Emi wraps her arms around the back of my neck and pulls me into a soft, passionate kiss. It only lasts for a few seconds before our lips part, but the emotion behind it is clear and radiant.

"I trust you," the small girl assures me, resting her hand on my cheek. "I should've known that you were never trying to imply that I couldn't take care of myself. I'm really sorry for not trusting and believing in you more..."

"To be honest, I kind of betrayed your trust on Saturday. But I don't intend to do it ever again, Emi."

Nuzzling her head up against my chest, Emi purrs her words to me. "Don't worry, ya goofball. I don't intend to let you do it ever again, either."

Phase 2 complete. Mission success.

Holding each other tightly and savoring the body warmth (despite the fact that it's already excruciatingly hot outside), the two of us sit for a while longer. After some unknown length of time, we finally lighten our embrace and I allow Emi to slip from my grasp. We rise to our feet together and both look down towards the headstone in front of us. Silence takes hold of the area until Emi eventually breaks it.

"Dad......thank you for everything. You haven't always been here, but even without you around you seem to always be influencing me. You and Mom both helped me to get to where I am now, to be who I am. Maybe I didn't always need it, but I appreciate every single thing you two did for me. And now, even though you're gone and I'll be away from Mom during college, I think I've found someone else to be next to me along the way."

Emi glances over to me, a small smile slowly spreading across her face.

"He may be a doofus and a goofball, but he and I are going to keep moving on together. Maybe I didn't always understand why he was so insistent on helping me, but now I think I do. Being helpful doesn't always have to be about pity or being someone's savior. Sometimes it's just a way to show that you care. I promise, Dad, that we'll help each other grow the way you and Mom helped me."

Emi's voice suddenly catches a bit, but she finishes her sentence before allowing the tears to flow.

"I know you'll never meet him, but I believe that you'd approve of Hisao...I love you, Dad."

With that, Emi stands up straight and turns to face me. She's clearly doing her best to hold back tears, but this effort seems wasted as they begin to gently stream down her cheeks as she sniffles.

"C'mon, Emi," I say, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and beginning to walk towards the exit. "Let's get home."

The girl follows without protest, continuing to stifle her sobs as they try to climb out of her throat. She's insanely strong...

As we walk the path out of the cemetery, I give a silent goodbye to Emi's dad.

Thank you, Mr. Ibarazaki. I'll make you proud.

==========

The bus ride home is quite silent, every seat in the vehicle empty save for the two of us huddled into a spot in the back corner. Creaking about noisily as we travel down the streets back home, the bus moves at a pace that feels far slower than normal. At this rate it doesn't even feel like we'll get home before dark.

Beside me sits Emi, contentedly leaning against me and humming some tune quietly to herself. Quite adorable, this one. That is, until her head shoots up in surprise and catches me in the chin.

"OMIGOSHHISAOIJUSTREMEMBEREDSOMETHING!" she exclaims in an excited manner.

"GAH, well could you maybe remember it withOUT breaking my jaw?!" I hiss, slightly aggravated by the pain now embedded beneath my mouth.

"Don't worry, Hisao," the girl declares in a cheeky tone. "You won't even feel that once I tell you what I remembered."

"Fine, then. What did you remember?"

"Weeeeeeeellllllllll...you know how I promised you a special reward if the Saturday date went well?"

"Yeah, but I'd say that went about as far from well as possible."

"Very true, Mr. Nakai. However, for being the gentleman that you are and doing your best to smooth things over, I'm willing to administer said reward tonight instead." As Emi says this she slowly presses her body closer to mine and brings her lips directly next to my ear. The warm breath that escapes as she speaks tickles my skin and makes my entire body tingle.

"W-wait...are you serious, Emi?"

"Maybe you should just roll with it instead of questioning me, Hisao," Emi states, moving her lips to my neck and beginning to suckle gently.

"Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa Emi we're in a public place and I think that you should probably stop."

The pink-haired girl's lips come off of my skin with a tiny *pop* and she shoots me a pouty face.

"Don't give me that look. You know damn well that the bus is not the place for this."

"Hmph, I guess so," Emi concurs, moving away slightly and retaining her pouting expression and posture.

I can't hold back the following chuckle at her expense, as the entire scene is too adorable for me to handle after such a stressful day. Upon hearing my laughter, Emi delivers a swift punch to my arm and resumes her sulking. In response to her attitude, I press my lips up against her cheek. This immediately melts her icy expression and causes her to latch back onto me like a baby koala.

"You're an insufferable jerk, Hisao," the girl murmurs, rubbing her head on my chest.

"And that's why you love me, right?"

"Nope, I love you because you're sweet and, despite being naive at times, you always seem to know how to make everything just a bit better."

"In other words, I make you happy?"

Emi plants a quick peck on my lips. "Yup, exactly. I love you, Hisao."

"I love you, too, Emi."

We both stay silent for the remainder of the bus ride home, simply enjoying each other's company. It isn't too much longer before I feel the vehicle begin lurching to a stop. At long last, the journey ends and Emi and I depart the bus, thanking our driver as we clamber down the stairs. As the loud hunk of metal slides away from us we set off towards Yamaku, creating a leisurely pace that Emi would normally scoff at.

In fact, she does just that once we reach the foot of the hill.

"Let's go, Hisao! I'll race you to the top!" Emi exclaims, excitement flashing across her eyes.

"Can't we just take it easy for once, Emi?" I plead, already exhausted from the day's events.

"No, we cannot!"

With those words, the track star bolts off, streaking to the school nestled at the peak of the hill before us.

"Shit, Emi, wait up!" I call out, scrambling after her.

Despite her speed, I'm somehow able to catch up to Emi and match her stride, lagging only slightly in her wake.

"Gah, Emi! Can't we *huff* stop for *pant pant* just a second?!"

Emi looks over her shoulder at me and behind her eyes I can spot a spark of determination, a flickering flame that burns with the intent of never going out until its purpose is fulfilled. It's the same thing that appears in her expression when she races or is facing a challenge of any sort. Nothing at this point is going to make her quit.

"Never, Hisao!" Emi shouts as she continues to pump her legs even faster. "You can't just drop out when the challenges on the path become difficult to overcome! You've got to keep pushing until you've completed your goal or until you can't push anymore! There is no giving up, especially when the sky's the limit! Together, we reach for the stars!!!"

Out of nowhere comes Emi's hand, shooting back to grab mine as I begin to fall further behind. With her help, I'm able to pull back into a steady stride and maintain it. Together, the two of us bound up the hill towards Yamaku. Eventually, the gates come into view, showing how close we are to the finish line. Both Emi and I go all out as we shoot towards the entrance to the school, mustering all our energy for this final sprint.

"Besides," Emi declares, a gleeful smile plastered onto her face as we race forward. "What's the point in trying if you're just going to stop short?"

That was nice. A little....unexpected, but nice. Reminds me of the Kenji end, in that your choices actually have little to do with the outcome, just the fact that they put you in position for that outcome.

azumeow wrote:That was nice. A little....unexpected, but nice. Reminds me of the Kenji end, in that your choices actually have little to do with the outcome, just the fact that they put you in position for that outcome.

The first ending or the second ending? Both were quite pleasant, neatly written, very in tune with the KS vibe.

brythain wrote: The first ending or the second ending? Both were quite pleasant, neatly written, very in tune with the KS vibe.

The one where Hisao dies.

Well...
That "self-conversation" certainly was like no other I've ever read about ^^°

The "accident" in the first ending was a bit too much to believe. A boy full on tackles a girl out of the way of a speeding sports car (one that was liberally using its horn at that), and that biker didn't notice any of that and still runs over Hisao at full speed?
"Hard to blame that guy" and "not his fault" my a**

That said this end was completely random just like the shark ending in Tsukihime - and I hate endings like that. I hate them in "normal" stories, but I especially hate them in stories where you are given the illusion of choice before that, because it is basically one giant "f**k you"
to the reader.

The real ending was better. I was a bit disappointed that the problem turned out to be a rehash of the one already more or less solved in the actual VN, but the resolution was okay.

azumeow wrote:That was nice. A little....unexpected, but nice. Reminds me of the Kenji end, in that your choices actually have little to do with the outcome, just the fact that they put you in position for that outcome.

Yeah, that's kinda what I was going for. The world essentially stays the same in both endings, but the "choice" alters Hisao's placement enough to cause different events. Glad you liked it, though!

brythain wrote:Both were quite pleasant, neatly written, very in tune with the KS vibe.

Thank you, brythain! I was afraid that writing it over such a long period of time would make the writing more scatterbrained and awkward, but I suppose it worked out.

Mirage_GSM wrote:Well...
That "self-conversation" certainly was like no other I've ever read about ^^°

The "accident" in the first ending was a bit too much to believe. A boy full on tackles a girl out of the way of a speeding sports car (one that was liberally using its horn at that), and that biker didn't notice any of that and still runs over Hisao at full speed?
"Hard to blame that guy" and "not his fault" my a**

That said this end was completely random just like the shark ending in Tsukihime - and I hate endings like that. I hate them in "normal" stories, but I especially hate them in stories where you are given the illusion of choice before that, because it is basically one giant "f**k you"
to the reader.

The real ending was better. I was a bit disappointed that the problem turned out to be a rehash of the one already more or less solved in the actual VN, but the resolution was okay.

I did really enjoy making the "self-conversation", despite how silly it seems in hindsight.

I can agree with you that the accident was stretched a bit since I'm not really sure if it's physically possible for a boy to do such a thing. However, I don't really think it's too much of a "f*** you" in the case of a story with two endings, as all you have to do afterwards is choose the different decision and read the good ending. I understand how it would be seen as that for someone playing a video game, where there are consequences for making a bad decision, but I don't quite see the consequences of it in this scenario. More of a slap on the wrist than anything.

I do greatly appreciate your consistent feedback, though, Mirage. You've been offering me constructive criticism throughout and I can't thank you enough for helping me improve (or at least I hope I'm improving). You're the best! :DD

Thanks

However, I don't really think it's too much of a "f*** you" in the case of a story with two endings, as all you have to do afterwards is choose the different decision and read the good ending.

So if you expect your readers to be underwhelmed with the first branch from the get go; that they have to read the second one as a pick-me-up - why write it in the first place?
Why "slap them on the wrist" for something that is not their fault in the first place?

Because the reasoning that leads to the first choice is a sound one. It's not even hinted at in the story that it is in any way wrong.
It just alters his "placement" such that an almost Rube-Goldberg-like chain of events* sets in that leads to his death - and that's what I meant by a "f*** you" to the reader.

When I read this, my suspension of disbelief was already shaky when Hisao dashed from the other side of the street seemingly faster than the speeding car - so the oblivious biker had a very hard time restoring that...

*I admit that I use this as an excuse to post this awesome link

Mirage_GSM wrote:Because the reasoning that leads to the first choice is a sound one. It's not even hinted at in the story that it is in any way wrong.
It just alters his "placement" such that an almost Rube-Goldberg-like chain of events* sets in that leads to his death - and that's what I meant by a "f*** you" to the reader.

Okay, now I get what you meant by that. I think I was misinterpreting what you said at first, but that makes more sense now.
I likely won't revisit the idea of decision-based endings again, but I do have a question. Does the biggest problem lie in the decision's lack of clarity for which could lead to which ending, or the fact that the decision itself was kind of insignificant in terms of the overall plot? Or maybe the writing in the bad end was just shit, I dunno. XD

Also, just to touch on suspension of disbelief, I think the reason I have an issue with that is because my suspension of disbelief can be stretched incredibly far. I generally won't question something in stories, video games, or movies if it's interesting and/or entertaining as a whole. It's probably for this reason that I tend to lean into more fantastical territory when writing stories, since in my mind it doesn't matter too much that it's not believable.
That's just something I'll have to work on as a novice writer, so hopefully I can get it under control.

scratchminus wrote:Also, just to touch on suspension of disbelief, I think the reason I have an issue with that is because my suspension of disbelief can be stretched incredibly far. I generally won't question something in stories, video games, or movies if it's interesting and/or entertaining as a whole. It's probably for this reason that I tend to lean into more fantastical territory when writing stories, since in my mind it doesn't matter too much that it's not believable.
That's just something I'll have to work on as a novice writer, so hopefully I can get it under control.

Depends on the genre: 'slice of life' tends to not be so fantastical (or 'phantastic' to use a very old word) unless it involves magic realism. The writing itself is fine. My response after reading the two cycles (ha ha) was to laugh, shake my head, and think 'shit happens'. The point I suppose was that it didn't really matter what Hisao's intentions or thoughts or actions with regard to Emi were—it would be just bad timing that did him in. That's not satisfying where human relations are concerned, although it works in comedic situations and it may even be a reflection on how life can actually be.