Re: Learning To Fly - A Saki pseudo-route (Act 2 Complete 12
Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2015 10:45 am
I'm not sure how you could write Nomiya without him being a little bit obnoxious, since he's pretty much the same with everyone who interacts with him in Rin's route. Apart from Sae where he is somewhat softer towards due to her seemly to know how to keep him in check to a certain degree. Overall I think you got Nomiya down quite well, to me at least he didn't feel out of character.
Plus when people are in a rage, they don't generally think about how verminous your words can be.
As to whether to use him again, depends if another scene with him would to develop a plot point, expand on something about Saki's past, or allow a scene between Hisao and Maeda who happens to be in the Art Club, or some other idea you are thinking of doing with him.
I think Mirage brings up some good points and helps to put that scene more into context and analysis overall.
I think we have to remember is that we don't know a lot of Saki's time in the Art Club due to being coy about it with Hisao. We don't if maybe at the start she was more into it than she gives the impression to Hisao overall.
As there is some history there that Hisao admitted he is unaware of.
I'm sure Saki is being pretty honest to Hisao about her time in the Art Club and about her parents (though I noticed how quick she was to shut Hisao down on that topic).
But we still only really have her words and view to go off, and are missing what others might know or saw, which Nomiya and Maeda are in a possible position to give context and input to create the full picture.
Plus we don't know the context of what the arrangement her parents, Nomiya and Nurse made in the first place. Which I imagine we will know more of in later chapters.
There are a few ways you can read why Saki left Hisao outside I feel, it could be not wanting to put him in a very awkward position with what was about to happen, since she knew that Nomiya was probably going to blow up a bit at her news. Or Saki doesn't trust Hisao enough at this point concerning stuff about her life, I know she has mentioned her condition to him and hinted to what type she has, though that came down more to Hisao unintentionally putting her in a position to come clean about it.
Or Saki was possibly worried that Nomiya might try and implicate that Hisao has something to do with her leaving the art club. Which would in her mind make her more at risk at blowing up and saying something that would cause problems for not just her, but Hisao down the line.
Or it might be for something else entirely like feeling it was a private matter between her and Nomiya and it didn't concern Hisao overall. Since she obviously wasn't particularly happy that Hisao overheard the conversation.
Me personally I think it's a mix of the above since while she and Hisao know they are developing and have certain feelings towards each other, they haven't crossed that line yet that would allow Saki to how should I put this... allow Hisao to be there more for her perhaps, not sure how else to put that since everything else doesn't seem right.
These are just my own views and how I read some bits of the last chapter. That and how I felt some of the context and subtext of the scene came off to me as. Which I think speaks volumes of your writing Euro and your ability to keep me hooked to your story. Since you are building up to events and revelations that I am eager to find out about.
Blackmambauk
Plus when people are in a rage, they don't generally think about how verminous your words can be.
As to whether to use him again, depends if another scene with him would to develop a plot point, expand on something about Saki's past, or allow a scene between Hisao and Maeda who happens to be in the Art Club, or some other idea you are thinking of doing with him.
I think Mirage brings up some good points and helps to put that scene more into context and analysis overall.
I think we have to remember is that we don't know a lot of Saki's time in the Art Club due to being coy about it with Hisao. We don't if maybe at the start she was more into it than she gives the impression to Hisao overall.
As there is some history there that Hisao admitted he is unaware of.
I'm sure Saki is being pretty honest to Hisao about her time in the Art Club and about her parents (though I noticed how quick she was to shut Hisao down on that topic).
But we still only really have her words and view to go off, and are missing what others might know or saw, which Nomiya and Maeda are in a possible position to give context and input to create the full picture.
Plus we don't know the context of what the arrangement her parents, Nomiya and Nurse made in the first place. Which I imagine we will know more of in later chapters.
There are a few ways you can read why Saki left Hisao outside I feel, it could be not wanting to put him in a very awkward position with what was about to happen, since she knew that Nomiya was probably going to blow up a bit at her news. Or Saki doesn't trust Hisao enough at this point concerning stuff about her life, I know she has mentioned her condition to him and hinted to what type she has, though that came down more to Hisao unintentionally putting her in a position to come clean about it.
Or Saki was possibly worried that Nomiya might try and implicate that Hisao has something to do with her leaving the art club. Which would in her mind make her more at risk at blowing up and saying something that would cause problems for not just her, but Hisao down the line.
Or it might be for something else entirely like feeling it was a private matter between her and Nomiya and it didn't concern Hisao overall. Since she obviously wasn't particularly happy that Hisao overheard the conversation.
Me personally I think it's a mix of the above since while she and Hisao know they are developing and have certain feelings towards each other, they haven't crossed that line yet that would allow Saki to how should I put this... allow Hisao to be there more for her perhaps, not sure how else to put that since everything else doesn't seem right.
These are just my own views and how I read some bits of the last chapter. That and how I felt some of the context and subtext of the scene came off to me as. Which I think speaks volumes of your writing Euro and your ability to keep me hooked to your story. Since you are building up to events and revelations that I am eager to find out about.
Blackmambauk
That was a last minute decision. I had Star Trek TNG episodes playing in the background for some of the time I was writing this, and I remembered how it always cracked me up whenever Riker did something similar almost every time he sat down. It was something so small and simple but told you so much about his character. I thought it would be something Chisato would do too