Hoitash wrote:Sorry, I'll stop. Very glad for the update. I really like the little moments between Akira and Hisao when they do cutesy stuff, like the couch lunch and the foot play.
Thanks for reading! The relationship between Hisao and Akira was something I really wanted to focus on. I wanted to portray them as having a more romantic narrative but I didn't want to go so far as to make it seem like they were in full swing after only a month of being together. Things are going to pick up fairly quickly due to circumstances, however. The first H-scene is fairly close, a lot closer than you might think.
Mirage_GSM wrote:My mind got stuck trying to compute this sentence for a while...
Edited that, all I had to do was cut out 'from here.' Thanks for pointing it out. I didn't want to specify a restaurant, though, since I didn't see much of a point in Akira recognizing it and the two having a small conversation about it; we already know she lives in the city and is very familiar with the area.
“She goes to Yamaku; same year as you and Lilly, actually. I wouldn't know if you've met her or not, though,...
Wouldn't you usually follow up on something like this? It's pretty obvious to the readers who she's talking about anyway, isn't it?
Which is why I felt there wasn't much of a need to follow up. Anything more than that would have just been "here's a bunch of foreshadowing but I'm going to outright tell you in case somehow you don't know."
With that said, I will admit that I let onto it a bit too heavily.
So, Hisao is going to meet Jigoro. No way that can go wrong, is there?
I guess we'll just have to find out. Thanks for reading as always, Mirage.
Triscuitable wrote:I get the feeling you're going to play with the plot point we see in Shizune's route at this point.
There are going to be a few things that tie into Shizune's route, of course. Something I've tried to do with the Akira route is maintain consistency with the canon routes, and at some point I think I've left a nod or a jab to all of the girls in the official game.
BlackWaltzTheThird wrote:And so we drop the humungous douche only to prepare for the arrival of a bigger one. Two, in fact, if Mr. Satou is anywhere near as douchey as implied. And both douches have a certain enmity between them. Ohoho boy this is gon' be good. I'd say it'd be something like Game of Thrones if I knew what I was talking about. Probably. Glad to have you back, Thanatos.
That's the plan, yeah. I'm still playing around with the nuances of Mr. Satou's character, but I think I've got something that will be generally good. I learned a lot about how to write good antagonists while I was writing Tetsuo, and I think I'll be able to apply most of it this time around. Thanks for keeping up with the story.
Guest Poster wrote:I have to admit, in a business culture like the Japanese one, where seniority is valued over pure merit when it comes to promotions and even graduates who were hired for the purpose of being the manager someday starting at the bottom of the ladder, this is one hell of a big achievement...though Jigoro could very well have insulted half of his peers by picking a 25-year old as management material. Although...that seems to be what the man excels in anyway.
We're going to go into a lot of detail about just how Akira wound up in her position with regards to Jigoro's past. Unlike some other elements in the story, I've got a loooooot of room to play around here, and I think I'll be able to deliver something sufficiently entertaining and satisfying as far as the questions about their past together go. I'm really glad that you always question a lot of stuff about Akira and the route in general; it really helps to keep me on my toes and not fall into a bad habit of nonsense justification or breaking character, even though there have been moments where that happened. Thanks for reading, and I hope I don't disappoint.
neio wrote:Well done on this chapter. Please don't start a new paragraph in the middle of the same person's speech; it throws me off every time.
Ah, sorry about that. Still experimenting with a lot of things. I've got an editor and proofreader that both think it's a step in the right direction, whereas I've got a few readers that find it really jarring. I'll try to find a healthy medium for the next chapter. Thanks for the comment.
To everyone I didn't respond to: Thank you so much for always commenting and keeping up with the releases, however slow they may be. Every time I read the replies it puts a smile on my face to know that this story is entertaining for so many people.
? Mr. Satou is Jigoro's wife(Mayoi)'s brother, not Jigoro's.
