Katawa Shoujo Forums

So... much... LoTR...

Also,

Helbereth wrote:busty, dark-haired math girl

For some strange reason I read that as "dusty, math-haired bark girl". It's the middle of the day, I shouldn't be this sloppy. Maybe that's why I didn't notice anything else worth commenting on.

Trivia:

“No.. or yes...?” I stammer, trying to get my answer right, “I'm sure it didn't rain... I think,” I laugh and shake my head in dismay, “at least... not on me.”

... said nobody in Japanese ever. The Japanese "hai" and "iie" deal with the correctness of the statement, so Aiko would have simply said "hai" and moved on.

It's an English fic though, so it's all good.

neio wrote:Trivia:

“No.. or yes...?” I stammer, trying to get my answer right, “I'm sure it didn't rain... I think,” I laugh and shake my head in dismay, “at least... not on me.”

... said nobody in Japanese ever. The Japanese "hai" and "iie" deal with the correctness of the statement, so Aiko would have simply said "hai" and moved on.

It's an English fic though, so it's all good.

speaking of which, hai seems very contextual in terms of meaning. What's with that?

And no, I am not going to learn Japanese to help your editing, Helbereth. I may learn it to read The Devil is a Part-Timer! light novels, though.

I'm stuck using my iPod at the moment, but I enjoyed the chapter.

Hoitash wrote:

neio wrote:Trivia:

“No.. or yes...?” I stammer, trying to get my answer right, “I'm sure it didn't rain... I think,” I laugh and shake my head in dismay, “at least... not on me.”

... said nobody in Japanese ever. The Japanese "hai" and "iie" deal with the correctness of the statement, so Aiko would have simply said "hai" and moved on.

It's an English fic though, so it's all good.

speaking of which, hai seems very contextual in terms of meaning. What's with that?

And no, I am not going to learn Japanese to help your editing, Helbereth. I may learn it to read The Devil is a Part-Timer! light novels, though.

There wouldn't be anything to gain trying to write this as though it were translated from Japanese.

Helbereth wrote:There wouldn't be anything to gain trying to write this as though it were translated from Japanese.

Verisimilitude.

Yeah, not worth it. Neat idea though.

First of all, I geeked out hard over all the Tolkien references. Nicely done, if a bit over the top.

Second, I'm on a long distance drive across the US right now, and I drove by this yesterday on I-17 north of Phoenix only to arrive at my hotel and find a new chapter of this fic posted.



Hilarious coincidence or what?

*dies from laughter*

Only read the first few chapter but it's great so far.

Nodding, i extend an invitation...

I get the distinct feeling that the 'i' should be 'I'.

relay their queries, really

It's frustrating.

Is there supposed to be some punctuation after really?

my shoulder, i turn

After i make a comment

These mistakes could easily be picked up by a spellchecker or a proofreader.

I won't put any quotes here but you often put speech in the middle of a sentence but you have not capitalised the first letter of the speech. While it may be in the middle of a sentence, speech typically starts with a capital letter. I can honestly understand Aiko's disdain for English.


On a semi-related note, the picture of Aiko in your signature looks fantastic but the one at the bottom of the contents post looks like she's having a mental breakdown after murdering someone with an axe. That and the high-neck vest and the extra neck length after that makes her look really weird.

ewx wrote:Only read the first few chapter but it's great so far.

Nodding, i extend an invitation...

I get the distinct feeling that the 'i' should be 'I'.

relay their queries, really

It's frustrating.

Is there supposed to be some punctuation after really?

my shoulder, i turn

After i make a comment

These mistakes could easily be picked up by a spellchecker or a proofreader.

I won't put any quotes here but you often put speech in the middle of a sentence but you have not capitalised[sic]the first letter of the speech. While it may be in the middle of a sentence, speech typically starts with a capital letter. I can honestly understand Aiko's disdain for English.


On a semi-related note, the picture of Aiko in your signature looks fantastic but the one at the bottom of the contents post looks like she's having a mental breakdown after murdering someone with an axe. That and the high-neck vest and the extra neck length after that makes her look really weird.

Okay, um... how far back are those mistakes? The mid-sentence quote thing is something I stopped doing somewhere around chapter 15... and I simply haven't had the time or inclination to go back and fix all the little technical errors from the early chapters.

The image on the title page is quite old, I admit, and could stand to be updated, but, like with so many things, I'm shoveling against the tide. Also, her expression was intended to it somewhere between shock and confusion--like one might have during a conversation with Kenji.

All of the typos are in the first three chapters and I believe they are in chronological order. Hopefully they are easy enough to find with Ctrl +F.
Haven't got further than that. Only another 37 chapters to go

Also, please excuse my spelling of words ending with -ize/-ise, I'm still trying to adapt to writing in American English as that seems to be the standard here.


Take your time with new chapters and whatnot. I don't think anyone wants to pressure you into hastily writing chapters.

ewx wrote:On a semi-related note, the picture of Aiko in your signature looks fantastic but the one at the bottom of the contents post looks like she's having a mental breakdown after murdering someone with an axe. That and the high-neck vest and the extra neck length after that makes her look really weird.

When I think of Aiko, I generally picture Aura's avatar. For some reason, that's exactly what I picture her looking like.

By the way, Helbereth, loving the story.

ewx wrote:Also, please excuse my spelling of words ending with -ize/-ise, I'm still trying to adapt to writing in American English as that seems to be the standard here.

Oh wow. Good luck. Remember, it's "color" without a 'u' but "contour" with, "meter" with 'er' but "acre" with 're,' and we have no 'æ' or 'œ.' Also our curbs are gray and we hit them with tires. We never mind the gap, and we have an obesity problem because of french fries and elevators.

English would suck enough as a unified language

ewx wrote:All of the typos are in the first three chapters and I believe they are in chronological order.

In that case, I'll basically ignore them then because those are the only three chapters I've had a chance to go back and edit--albeit unreleased.

Only another 37 chapters to go

Yeah, that's only 300,000 words... it should only take a few hours.

Take your time with new chapters and whatnot. I don't think anyone wants to pressure you into hastily writing chapters.

Oh, believe me, I've never rushed myself. Early on I was publishing quickly because I was writing quickly--things were less complicated. Now I have a plethora of diverging stories to track, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it does put a premium on how I approach the flow of the story.

RedRover wrote:When I think of Aiko, I generally picture Aura's avatar. For some reason, that's exactly what I picture her looking like.

Hmm, well, considering that's Natsume, who I didn't know about until after I started writing, I find your associating Aiko with her somewhat disconcerting. Apart from the hair color and heterochromia, they have little in common in terms of features, but I digress.

By the way, Helbereth, loving the story.

I'm not sure if that's a comment based on 20 chapters ago, or the recent iterations, but thank you.

neio wrote:English would suck enough as a unified language

Linguistic dialects can be more frustrating than learning the language itself.

Helbereth wrote:

RedRover wrote:When I think of Aiko, I generally picture Aura's avatar. For some reason, that's exactly what I picture her looking like.

Hmm, well, considering that's Natsume, who I didn't know about until after I started writing, I find your associating Aiko with her somewhat disconcerting. Apart from the hair color and heterochromia, they have little in common in terms of features, but I digress.

Well, it's the combination of the hair color and heterochromia, and both of them wearing glasses. I know she has distinguishing features, such as her strip of hair and, erm, larger breasts. My mind just draws odd connections like that for some reason. For example, when I think of the English language, I think of the color green. Just 'cuz.