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Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {UPDATED 2014-9-5!}

Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2014 11:00 pm
by Bad Apple
I'm back, and so is this! I'm tardy so I'll try not to repeat earlier posts.
The second book I pick up is about an agent of a depowered federal government in a dystopian future where corporations control the entirety of the western world, and it’s pretty bleak and unsettling throughout. I don’t decide I like it until I’m a third of the way in, and even so, it takes most of the rest of the evening to finish it. It was a pretty compelling story, even if it was a bit complicated at times. It seems like the kind of story my father would enjoy for all the wrong reasons, if he was the kind of person who read books.
I can't think of what the other described books might be, but this one rings some bells. Jennifer Government, I presume? That's taste. I don't see anybody ever thinking Iwanako being into anything close to that subject matter, so I'm going to go with these being Hanako's preference by default.
before Ibarazaki speared me in the hallway.
Emi certainly likes living life on the edge. sorry
After a few moments, I get bored watching her, though—watching somebody paint isn’t that interesting;
If Iwanako had discovered the joy of painting, she'd be a happy little tree and that earlier encounter with the Nurse would be just a happy accident. (An epiphany I'm looking forward to, by the way.)
Well, that’s not really true. One thing is different, and that’s that now they know about my condition.
I thought the latter part of this passage was a typo, frankly. Took me a few tries to get. There's a few other lines that had the same effect as well.
The van slows to a halt as a stoplight,
at a stoplight
Is this real life?
Her mastery over past references complete, Iwanako sets out to prophesize Internet memes years before they've developed.

Now for the serious stuff. Iwanako's self-contained barbs are even sharper and more humorous than before. That there is correlation between misery and cynicism makes this unsurprising, to dispute earlier posts. This story wouldn't be the same without the cynicism; it would be neither as entertaining nor as authentic otherwise.

Suddenly birds, birds everywhere. All these passing descriptions of birds jumped out at me, and have me thinking whether or not there is some sort of foreshadowing at work here in the form of deliberate avian symbolism. Or I could be overanalyzing as always.

Misha obviously has a crush on Iwanako, though it feels (pleasantly) unusual for things to veer that way, and at this point I'm personally opining that a fleeting limerance is more likely, but that can very well change. On the other hand, Iwanako accumulating a lesbian harem is even more unlikely. Moreover, Lilly and Shizune's cold war hasn't boiled over yet, which makes me think that it will come to a head at some point, with Iwanako smack-dab in the middle. Whether that happens before or after the Emi (and Rin) situation comes to the fore again, I imagine, will depend on the timeskips involved.

Nice new OC, even if he may be ultimately unimportant. Speaking of OCs, for all her talk of 'maturity', it's not a word that I've ever associated with Momoni. Her behavior, I think, still fulfills Momoni's quasi-counterpart role of Kenji as one of the most immature characters in this story. Not that I dislike her, but I can still make that observation regardless.

This was a voluminous update, but it doesn't feel like a 'four-in-one' deal. Indeed, it feels more like a typical chapter from the VN, with each new scene a cutaway transition.

From all of us here, I'd like to wish you happy writing, and God bless, my friends. Signed, Bob Ross.

Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {UPDATED 2014-9-5!}

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 6:15 am
by Leaty
(deadfic)

Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {UPDATED 2014-9-5!}

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 6:57 am
by Vempele
Leaty wrote:
Bad Apple wrote:I'm back, and so is this!
I'm really glad you are! I hadn't heard from you for a while, so I worried you had left the fandom.
Bad Apple wrote:I can't think of what the other described books might be, but this one rings some bells. Jennifer Government, I presume? That's taste. I don't see anybody ever thinking Iwanako being into anything close to that subject matter, so I'm going to go with these being Hanako's preference by default.
Indeed! Congrats on being the only person to figure out that I was referring to actual books. I'd wanted to make it kind of a game for the reader to figure out which ones I was talking about, but I think I may have been too vague.
Actually, I too was reminded of Jennifer Government, but since I've only ever read about the book and I'd forgotten the name, I was unable to find it.

Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {UPDATED 2014-9-5!}

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 9:51 am
by Mirage_GSM
Well, I never read Slaughterhouse five, never heard of Jennifer Government and never knew The Last Unicorn was also a book...

JG sounds like it would be pretty hard for me to suspend my disbelief while reading it...

Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {UPDATED 2014-9-5!}

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 10:01 am
by Mahorfeus
Slaughterhouse-Five is a real trip. Well, just about anything written by Vonnegut is. I'd recommend it to anyone.

Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {UPDATED 2014-9-5!}

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 3:15 pm
by dewelar
Heh, guess I'm the only one who caught the Last Unicorn reference, then...I've sadly not read the other two yet. And, believe it or not, I didn't mention the bird symbolism because it was so obvious (at least to me) that I didn't think I needed to...
Leaty wrote:On a totally unrelated note, I'm a little bummed out MTtB's TV tropes page hasn't been updated in a while...
At least your story has a TV Tropes page :(.

Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {UPDATED 2014-9-5!}

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 3:22 pm
by bhtooefr
Note to self: Add Jennifer Government to my reading list.

Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {UPDATED 2014-9-5!}

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 7:17 pm
by Leaty
(deadfic)

Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {UPDATED 2014-9-5!}

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 7:42 pm
by dewelar
Leaty wrote:
dewelar wrote:Heh, guess I'm the only one who caught the Last Unicorn reference, then...
Thank god.
Honestly, it would have been hard for me to miss, because a while back I was part of an RPG group where the GM based one of the adventures on it. Sadly, it was not well-received :(.
dewelar wrote:At least your story has a TV Tropes page :(.
Developments certainly deserves one. I'll get one started in a few days when I have time.
That? Would make you the awesomest person ever. I pretty much found out about KS and these boards through TV Tropes, so when I first started writing Developments, one of the things that passed through my head was how cool it would be to have it get a page.

Oh, and about Edge and the spear? I was a WCW fan then, so I always associate it with Goldberg instead. Sorry.

Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {UPDATED 2014-9-5!}

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 7:56 pm
by Leaty
(deadfic)

Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {UPDATED 2014-9-5!}

Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 2:15 am
by Blank Mage
Leaty wrote:On a totally unrelated note, I'm a little bummed out MTtB's TV tropes page hasn't been updated in a while...
Ah, I suppose I gave my word on that, didn't I? I haven't been on TVTropes for the better part of a year now, so it kind of fell by the wayside. I'll get on that soon. I'll also write my own fic, script a dnd campaign, pick flash animation back up and start reviewing things on YouTube.

....I'm bad at this, aren't I.

Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {UPDATED 2014-9-5!}

Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 2:28 am
by Leaty
(deadfic)

Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {UPDATED 2014-9-5!}

Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 6:41 am
by emmjay
Leaty wrote:
Blank Mage wrote:
Leaty wrote:On a totally unrelated note, I'm a little bummed out MTtB's TV tropes page hasn't been updated in a while...
Ah, I suppose I gave my word on that, didn't I? I haven't been on TVTropes for the better part of a year now, so it kind of fell by the wayside. I'll get on that soon. I'll also write my own fic, script a dnd campaign, pick flash animation back up and start reviewing things on YouTube.

....I'm bad at this, aren't I.
You forgot "master French onion soup." You must achieve mastery of onion-based soups.
"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."
— Robert A Heinlein, Time Enough For Love

Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {UPDATED 2014-9-5!}

Posted: Tue Oct 07, 2014 8:23 pm
by Blank Mage
I added some tropes to the page! Unfortunately, I've forgotten most of the tropes I was once familiar with, and consequently my additions aren't on the scale I would have liked.

Re: Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {UPDATED 2014-9-5!}

Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2014 4:36 am
by Leaty
(deadfic)