Bagheera wrote:Yeah, you're right about that. Sounds like your efforts got the girls in question jack and squat, since they didn't put forth the effort to change their circumstances. That's rather the point: it's not about you. You can't fix people. The best you can do is offer help and support while they fix themselves.
You say that as if it's simple to change your circumstances. It's not. Based on my personal observations, if you're in a rut or an abusive relationship, chances are that you feel stuck and get used to being in that bad place because you've been in it for so long that you've forgotten that there's any other way to live. If you have the strength of will to extricate yourself from such situations, good for you. Many people don't. Stop assuming that everyone's like you or everyone's capable of being like you. It's an extremely arrogant and egotistical stance, because you're setting yourself up as some kind of standard by which the actions of others are measured.
Bagheera wrote:(Why are you hanging around so many physically and emotionally damaged women, anyway? Got something against healthy folks?)
No, but I do have something against people who have attitude problems or jump to conclusions. Like you, for example.
Don't presume to know anything about me or how these situations came about. One of the two girls I mentioned above I had been friends with for a year and a half before she broke down during a heart-to-heart and told me how bad things were for her. Before then, I'd never had the slightest idea there was anything wrong in her life, nor did she give any indication. The second girl I happened upon by some twist of fate while she was feeling suicidally depressed. No one took the time to listen to her problems or care, not even her best childhood friend, so I stepped up to the plate. I convinced her not to do anything rash and thus felt that she'd become my responsibility: I talked her out of taking her own life, so whatever happened to her next was "my fault".
I never actively sought these girls out. They just happened into my life. And, for the record, both these incidents happened around ten to twelve years ago. I've become significantly more disillusioned and cynical since then.
Bagheera wrote:It wasn't that awkward, really (it's kind of a good position if you know what you're doing). And the bit with the nylons is he didn't wanna rip 'em.
Oh please. Ignoring, for a moment, the inherent stupidity of trying to remove nylons while the person wearing them is lying down, if you're that incompetent when it comes to undressing a girl, then you have her stand up and
remove her nylons and panties herself. And if she shows any hesitation or reluctance, that's another sign that something's wrong.
Bagheera wrote:Also note that Hanako did absolutely nothing here. Input from her at this point would have been extremely helpful. The scene makes a lot more sense if you look at it as the product of two people rather than one guy who's doing it wrong.
For god's sake, is asking something that hard? During my first time out, I let the girl take the lead and occasionally asked her if she felt comfortable when I did this or that. It's just basic common sense and consideration. Yes, Hanako's the submissive, shy type and wouldn't have spoken up easily, but you're acting as if Hisao couldn't have just paused at any point and asked her, "Do you feel like continuing? We can stop if you feel uncomfortable." Personally speaking, I'd rather end up with blue balls than traumatizing some poor girl. And I say that as someone who
isn't in the "Hisao's a rapist" camp.