As I turn to open the door and pull Saki backwards through it, the way I have with every other door today, she surprises me by asking me to stop.
“I'll use the crutches,” Saki states, reaching down to set the brakes on the chair to steady it.
I offer her my hand and help her to her feet, grabbing her crutches with the other. “You sure?”
“Mhm,” she nods. “I need to use them anyway. I just can't walk all the way across the school yet with them, you know?” She takes them from me and I watch as she adjusts them under her arms, testing their positioning. Satisfied, I see her relax to let the crutches take most of her weight, the sleeves of her uniform seeming to puff out even more than normal. She's still favoring her right leg.
“I'll be over there in the corner,” I say, pointing to a grouping of chairs off to the side. “I'll just be reading to pass the time. Want to get something to eat afterwards? We can grab Chisato.” I haven't seen her much this past week, and it would be good for the three of us to hang out again. I'd ask about Noriko, but I haven't seen her at all and I don't know what she does after school.
“All right, if you're okay with it,” Saki answers. “Ugh, I can't wait until I can go into town again. This cafeteria food is driving me insane day in and day out.”
I know how she feels. Eating that stuff for a week straight is pretty debilitating to morale, not to mention what it does to the digestive system.
As I open the door for Saki, the sound of voices and a few instruments flows out, proof that she is indeed late and the last one here. With a final wave, Saki hobbles through the entrance and I let the door close gently behind her, leaving the hall in muted silence and me to my own devices.
I look down at the wheelchair next to me, wondering if I should just leave it there or if I should move it with me over to where I'm planning to sit down. Here, it seems like it would just be in the way, so...
I hesitate as I move my hand across the handle, my brow furrowing.
I had to ride in one of these things a few times I was in the hospital, especially my first month or so out of surgery, but I always had someone to push me around the way that I've been doing for Saki. I've seen a few wheelchairs around the school, something completely normal for where we are...but very rarely do I see someone using their own power to move it. There's the red-headed girl from my homeroom floor, but that's about it.
I'm morbidly curious.
I look around to make sure nobody else is in the room. It's not like I feel guilty, exactly...but more like I shouldn't be using this when I have no disability that would warrant its use. Maybe it's part of wanting to get a better understanding of what some of my fellow classmates go through on a daily basis, or what Saki's been through in the past week when one of us hasn't been around to give her a hand that spurs me on.
Content that nobody will be able to see me, I take a seat in the chair. Unpleasant memories of the hospital start to flood back as the chair feels nearly identical to the one I had to sit in. Completely utilitarian, with only an afterthought put into the comfort of the person confined to it. It just feels alien.
Saki said this was the good wheelchair? I'd hate to have to sit in the bad one.
I reach my hands down and grip the metal rings attached to the outside of the wheels. They're cold against my skin, making me reflexively clench my fingers around them. The position is awkward, as I have to lean slightly forward and pivot my arms further out at the shoulder than I would have thought in order to clear the sides of the chair.
Well, here we go.
I push my hands forward, and my arms immediately start to strain with the effort. Wow. I can't use any leverage here. I thought there might be a trick to it, but no, it looks like I have to use pure muscle.
The chair moves forward an inch or two, but as soon as it starts to roll, the amount of work I have to put in to keep it going lessens. That's not so bad. I move forward from the wall and do my best to point myself towards the aisle though the chairs which will lead me to my destination. I turn too far in one direction first, then the other trying to compensate, but eventually I'm facing where I want to go.
Unfortunately, I stopped while I was making my course corrections, so I have to heave again to get the chair moving. I grunt slightly as I push to get started.
I haltingly make my way through the room with an unsteady, jerking pace, caused by having to reposition my hands to push. It may only take thirty seconds to make it to the other side of the hall, but it feels so much longer than that both in time and energy invested.
I clamp down on the metal hard, trying to stop myself before my momentum carries my knee right into the edge of a low table. I barely manage to succeed, and I'm left breathing heavily with a flushed face. At least my face is already red if someone were to walk in and see me.
Why did I do this again?
I quickly stand up and sit down on the non wheeled chair next to me and sink into it. I sigh as I sink into it. Much better.
I pull out my book and crack it open, trying to find where I left off earlier this week.
The loud bang of a door causes me to wake up, startled. I quickly try to look around fruitlessly making sense of my surroundings, and spend a few seconds blinking heavily to clear the fog from both my view and my mind. I take in a deep breath, trying to calm down and feeling foolish for having jumped. Something hits the ground in front of me with a much quieter sound, and I realize at the same time that not only did I doze off while reading my book, but I just dropped it onto the ground.
I run my hand through my hair, moving my bangs out of my eyes and sit up straighter. I'm trying to look normal, or awake at the very least. I see about a dozen people streaming out of the band classroom, some of them carrying cases as large as ones you would pack for a full week of vacation. I find it troublesome enough to drag my bookbag to class every morning. I can't imagine what it would be like to have to lug one of those things around.
The deluge makes its way out the main door, half of the people talking excitedly to each other while the other half seems to be content to make the trip in silence and push ahead accordingly. At least they manage to hold the outside door open for the ones they beat to it.
I don't see Saki or Chisato come out with everyone else.
I get to my feet, leaning backwards to stretch. I'm kind of thankful neither of them caught me napping, as I'm sure I wouldn't have heard the end of it. I bend down to grab my book, and frown. Great. I have no idea where I am in it. I guess I'll just have to start searching for the spot tomorrow when I have some more free time.
I walk over to the entrance to the music room and open the door, sticking my head inside. I'm a little surprised at what I see.
The room looks bright and airy, with lots of lighter colors. White walls with a blue border near the top, tile floors, and large windows do a good job of not only letting light in, but holding it. I see about a dozen blue chairs on casters placed in a rough semicircle on the floor, a few of which have music stands in front of them. Larger cabinets, a desk or two, and cases for larger instruments are haphazardly stacked against the walls, but with just enough organization to show everything is indeed in its place.
Near the front of the room is a piano, nestled next to the wall. It's there that I find who I'm looking for. Three people are seated around, or on it. Saki's sitting in a chair facing the other two with her back to me. Chisato is actually sitting on the piano, her legs dangling freely as she subtly kicks them back and forth like a small child in a restaurant booth. The third person is one I haven't seen in a while, and she's the first one who sees me.
“Ah, Hisao Nakai! Welcome! Come in, come in!”
Mrs. Sakamoto greets me with a warm smile, as if she's genuinely happy to see me again. It instantly makes me feel a bit more at ease, a feeling that disappears the second the other two girls pivot their heads and turn to look at me. Saki smiles, and Chisato gives me a quick salute to acknowledge my presence. I wave meekly and step through the door into the room, walking towards the trio.
“I hope I wasn't interrupting,” I start to say, but I'm waved off by the music teacher.
“Not at all. We had just finished up for the day and the three of us just taking a moment to have a chat. We'll be done here in another minute or two, I think, if you want to look around.”
“Take your time,” I respond. “I'm not in any rush.”
The teacher nods, and all three of them focus their attention on each other again. The older woman doesn't seem very nonplussed that I'm here, so I'm assuming Saki's told her about the situation and how I was supposed to pick her up after the club meeting.
They're not exactly whispering to each other, but they talk low enough to where I only catch a few words here and there.
“...next time we go, Takamura will be there. We can try some of the recording equipment...”
I use this chance to take a closer look at the room. It's definitely busy. The walls have posters on them showing various instruments and a lot of diagrams, but there's also handmade notes and drawings interspersed between them pinned to corkboards. One wall has a particularly large board covered in nothing but photographs and what looks to be news clippings.
“...you really do that on a computer? That's...”
Intrigued, I step over to the photo wall to inspect it. I can see that it's actually divided into three sections, to top of each adorned with a hand-colored sign depicting a year starting with the current one and backtracking the previous two. Those areas are completely packed, while the one with this year's doesn't have much in it.
Not surprising, given that the year only started a short while ago, and the only real thing that has happened so far was the festival.
“...speed up the track while keeping the pitch the...”
A few photographs catch my eye, and I recognize the stage from the festival depicting several of the students individually or in small groups, with two large photographs of the entire band present. There's even a news clipping from the local school newspaper that spends a paragraph or two talking about the band and the stalls that “will” be set up. The date of the article is from about a week before the festival.
“...should be easier to try it out.”
The rest of the pictures for the current year are a mixture of candid and more prepared looking shots. A few look like they were taken with a Polaroid, while others are a bit higher quality. I see Saki and Chisato in a few of them, posing by themselves and with each other.
“...well, Chisato can't do that with the piano while I'm playing like that, so I don't know how...”
I look at the previous year, and see a sprawling mural that weaves together a story of all the events of that period of time. There's an identical looking clipping for the festival that year, surrounded by relevant images. I notice that a lot of the students are the same, while there are a few that I didn't see in this year's batch of photographs. I guess those are the students that either graduated or decided to drop band altogether.
“...hard part will be trying to play to sound better when...”
Looking closer, I see Saki and Chisato in several of them, both looking a little younger. Saki's hair is a little shorter, coming down to cover her shoulders instead of another few inches on her back, while Chisato looks the same as ever. I glance at the other pictures on the board nearby, seeing some that weren't taken at the school, with the people in them in casual wear. I see one where the girls are part of a group sitting in a booth at a restaurant, all making silly faces for the camera. I catch one of Saki at the beach, wearing a simple patterned sundress and a large straw hat that she clutches to her head by holding on to the brim.
It looks ridiculously cute.
Of course, right next to it is a picture of Chisato buried up to her neck in the sand.
There's a lot to take in, and I could probably look at these pictures for the next ten minutes and still not see every detail about them.
“...nah, there's only three songs for both of us right now, maybe another two or three each...”
Let's see...these would have been last year, which means that the year before that would have been the first year Saki was in the band, right? Seeing Saki in that outfit at the beach along with her shorter hair last year makes me insanely curious to see what she looked like as a first year student.
I look at the top of the board, and while I don't see Saki in any photos posing with Chisato at first, I do finally find them, but they're much different than I was expecting.
Saki's hair is even shorter here, barely coming to her shoulders and is teased out on the corners.I have to do a double take when I look at Chisato. Her hair looks like it goes half way down her back. It's still the same black that I've always seen on her, pulled back into a loose tail at the base of her neck, but the contrast between the two of them is striking – not just to each other, but to their future selves.
I wonder if I'd have the same reaction if I dug out any of my older school photos, or compare current ones to pictures I'll no doubt be taking a few years from now.
I see a few more of Saki and Chisato, and Ms. Sakamoto looks as regal as ever, but there's something that strikes me as odd, looking at them closer.
“...shouldn't need sheet music just for that, we have it...”
In almost every photo I've seen so far on the three year old section of the board with Saki and Chisato, there's a third girl in the pictures with them. I can make out long red hair done up in two tails coming off the sides of her head, with vibrant green eyes that sparkle in the photographs, even though they're fading with the exposure of age.
I squint. I see her in some of the other photos as well, and a few have her holding a violin, similar to Saki. There's even one of the two of them back to back, playing together. My eyes move further down the board to see pictures taken later in the year, and...
She isn't there.
(continued...)