Just figured that if there's a "thank you 4LS" thread like that I can't simply ignore it, seeing as I really am thankful for KS, so there's my thank you thingy.
Since I was a little kid, the moments I liked the most were the ones in which I was alone, privacy, can do whatever I feel like doing, no judgement whatsoever.
But each one of these private moments, and later on every moment in general, was always accompanied by this... feeling.
To describe it physically, I'd say it felt like the bad counterpart of butterflies in the stomach (I hope that expression also works in English
).
To go even more physically, it feels like this hole, located somewhere between the middle of my chest to the middle of my stomach.
It feels awful; depressing, gives a horrible aftertaste to every moment in my life.
Recently, I've been through a certain string of events.
Long story short, it involved me getting close to someone.
During the period in which this happened, I could actively feel that hole growing smaller. I'll go as far as to say it actually vanished for a while.
Eventually, though, this someone disappeared from my life, and the feeling came back - as bold and hard to ignore as ever; probably harder.
These events have led to me finally being able to properly identify this feeling...
Loneliness.
It's taken me years, but there, I figured it out.
Thing is, it doesn't go away next to other people like it used to when I was little; it just stays there all the time.
It's like I still feel alone even when I am around other people.
My current assumption is that it's because I haven't got a single connection in my life with another person that's strong enough to actually fill this hole in my stomach.
My friends are my friends only because we have some similar hobbies.
My mom is never up to any sort of deep conversation.
I barely even see my dad.
It's like I'm simply not close enough to anyone.
I've been trying to get closer to my friends, to work on our bond, and failed.
So, it became really hard to go through with life. Just trying to live every day became a burden with this effing hole ruining everything good, not letting me have any sort of real happiness, ever.
Then I found Katawa Shoujo.
Just some boring night, I see a signature of some guy on some forum saying "Enjoy Katawa Shoujo", I get curious, I download it...
Well, you know, started playing, slowly (or not so slowly) getting connected to the characters...
And once again I can feel the hole growing smaller.
Ever since I identified the loneliness I felt, I knew that the only remedy would be meeting that special someone, with whom I'll form a real bond. Doesn't necessarily mean a romantic bond (although this might definitely work xD), just an emotional one, like a deep friendship with a real friend.
But meanwhile, when I still don't have that kind of bond, I'm amazingly greatful for having this little something, this wonderful visual novel that's become my special occasion during my treasured private moments of friday nights.
Of course, it's nothing but a temporary way to deal with it, but even this temporary thing helps with making life so much more bearable.
KS really helps me moving forward until that bond will, hopefully, be created... someday.
So, thank you so much Suriko, Aura, cpl_crud, Hivemind, Anonymous22, Blue123 & NicolArmafi (because KS wouldn't be the same without its soundtrack <3) and every other person who's had a hand in this amazing project. Thank you for helping me move forward while trying to fix the hole in my life, and for fueling my attempts to do so.
And I'm terribly sorry for burdening your neat forums with this TL;DR post. I wonder if someone's actually gonna read it
Edit:
LOL, I knew it was gonna be way too long as soon as I decided to pour my feelings in this post, but that's gotta be the longest single forum post I ever wrote
Sowwy.