Katawa Shoujo Forums

Daitengu wrote:

yummines wrote:But the thing is im the kind of person who wont really do anything unless they're told to. Which is probably why im struggling in college right now.

I at the very least try to treat someone like my equal. In fact i tend to try to give people the benefit of the doubt cause likely i wouldn't be able to do whatever. I don't think white knighting is why i dont have a girlfriend though... I probably have the opposite problem, I can't seem to be able to get myself involved in another person's life at all.

I've noticed that zero ambition guys tend to not get girls, or many good friends for that matter.

im pretty sure thats a proven fact.
i dont really need a girl to function in life, like some people do. just good friends.
i got like maybe 1 or 2 good friends.

sometimes i try and it doesnt work though. like getting someones number. texting them. asking them if they want to go to the movies. nope nothing. also, i never seem to be the recipient of messages or calls. its like if i dont force myself to be known i'll be completely invisible.

I feel like I don't belong anywhere and a part of me wants to and a part of me doesn't. Sometimes I don't even know who I am...all I know is to listen to people and that is it. It is hard making friends because I am so open one minute and then really hostile and non trusting the next. I am in college working on my studies content with what I am doing and in a minute or so I suddenly don't want to work and think the field that I am taking is worthless and stupid. It's taken a toll with my girlfriend and the few friends that I have and I really don't know how to handle it. I feel like there are two people living inside of me and it scares me a bit.

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Ciclo wrote:I'm not too good at writing, but I'll give it a whack. Around a couple years ago, I received major surgery for scoliosis. I was in the hospital for a couple weeks, and I couldn't really do much in the way of exercise for a solid year. Up until my hospital visit, I had been saying some goodbyes and hanging out with friends, although this surgery wouldn't have permanently put me out of my school but just long enough to leave school half a semester early. Everyone was acting normal as they usually did, and we had some great times winding down to my surgery date. Then, my surgery was over with and I was laying in a hospital bed, back fixed. My parents rarely showed up because of work, as to be expected. But my friends never showed. I did manage to make a call one day, I had called one of my friends from high school. The call was astonishingly quick, and consisted of me telling him my surgery done and him giving a generic "get better". Months later, I was enrolled in an independent study school due to my condition being unsafe for a public school, apparently. I never did talk to any of my previous friends after that.

May I ask how scoliosis would cause someone to switch to a private schools? I just dont see how that'd work, ive met a few people with scoliosis who were around.

Not doubting you, just curious

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Just to let you all know, my grandma is out of the hospital now. I know why she was there now, but, for her own privacy, I won't say it.

The few replies that I have below are actually stories of mine that I thought related in some way.

AdventSign wrote:I feel like I don't belong anywhere and a part of me wants to and a part of me doesn't. Sometimes I don't even know who I am...all I know is to listen to people and that is it. It is hard making friends because I am so open one minute and then really hostile and non trusting the next. I am in college working on my studies content with what I am doing and in a minute or so I suddenly don't want to work and think the field that I am taking is worthless and stupid. It's taken a toll with my girlfriend and the few friends that I have and I really don't know how to handle it. I feel like there are two people living inside of me and it scares me a bit.

In a way, I can be the same way. When I'm with my friends, I'm fairly talkative. When I'm at school, I keep to myself and (don't) focus on work. When I'm at home, I only really respond to my parents and sister monosyllabic-ally. When I'm at church, I'm the guy that tries to just show up without anyone noticing, which fails. This isn't exactly what you were talking about, but I guess the point is that I sometimes don't know who I am either.

Ciclo wrote:I'm not too good at writing, but I'll give it a whack. Around a couple years ago, I received major surgery for scoliosis. I was in the hospital for a couple weeks, and I couldn't really do much in the way of exercise for a solid year. Up until my hospital visit, I had been saying some goodbyes and hanging out with friends, although this surgery wouldn't have permanently put me out of my school but just long enough to leave school half a semester early. Everyone was acting normal as they usually did, and we had some great times winding down to my surgery date. Then, my surgery was over with and I was laying in a hospital bed, back fixed. My parents rarely showed up because of work, as to be expected. But my friends never showed. I did manage to make a call one day, I had called one of my friends from high school. The call was astonishingly quick, and consisted of me telling him my surgery done and him giving a generic "get better". Months later, I was enrolled in an independent study school due to my condition being unsafe for a public school, apparently. I never did talk to any of my previous friends after that.

TL;DR: Friends abandoned me.

When I was in elementary school, I had two friends. We'll call them Greg and Pete. At recess, we would always play together. At lunch, we would eat together. Usual friends stuff for elementary school. However, in the third grade, I was told that next year, I was going to be switched to a new school. On top of that, Greg was going to move at the end of the school year. Pete was the only one that was going to stay. Greg and I tried to stay in touch, but we eventually stopped calling each other. When I was going to middle school, I was excited. I thought that, since Pete and I went to the same elementary school at one point, then we would be going to the same middle school. I was wrong. I figured out, when I looked him up in the phone book, that he was put into the "Talented and Gifted" program, which was at a different school. I think I saw him a couple times at high school, but everything was so different that I couldn't believe it. I managed to get in touch with Greg in February on FaceBook, but things are kinda awkward now. I haven't actually seen him for 11 years now. I tried saying that we should meet and catch up, but the topic was quickly changed.

I have no idea what the point was of me posting this stuff was.

yummines, Before I also thought I didn't need a lady in my life, but then I I felt that that was actually wrong. So I started to look very hard. Finally she found me. Living together with someone I love can be hard, but it's also very rewarding.

Adventsign, thank you for your story. I guess you must have some frustrations hidden away in yourself? I'd suggest you to talk honestly about your feelings to friends and girlfriend, maybe they can suggest something. Otherwise counseling may be what you need.

Ciclo, thank you too for your story. Let me begin by saying I hope things will go well with your physical health. As for being abandoned... "When you have a problem, you will know who are your friends." Unlike Hisao, it seems your "friends" simply dropped you the moment you entered hospital. I wouldn't call someone who did that a friend. I hope you'll find real friends who will stick with you even when the going gets tough.

Exbando, I'm glad to hear your grandmother seems to be doing a bit better, if that's the case.

We have this saying in my country "To stay friends, you do have to write a letter from time to time." I think that is true. If we don't stay in touch, then we can't expect other people to stay friends with us just for old time's sake. Of course, it's fine to try and reconnect if possible, but I often find that if I lost contact though my own negligence, then that's a ship that has sailed while I was fooling around in the harbor. Feel free to talk here about anything in your life, I hope it's helpful to you to open up at least to someone.

I'm slowly sinking into a deeper depression just realizing that I don't like reality and I just wish that I don't have to live in it anymore, I'm not thinking of suicide but I have been miserable, not attending school if anyone talks to me in person I just kind of ignore them... that sort of stuff, I really wish I could get over it but I just don't know how. I hate going to school because I don't like putting on a 6 hour façade of happiness.

If we could dwell in dreams like in the movie Inception I would end up being those people sleeping there for years

FXRemastered wrote:I'm slowly sinking into a deeper depression just realizing that I don't like reality and I just wish that I don't have to live in it anymore, I'm not thinking of suicide but I have been miserable, not attending school if anyone talks to me in person I just kind of ignore them... that sort of stuff, I really wish I could get over it but I just don't know how. I hate going to school because I don't like putting on a 6 hour façade of happiness.

If we could dwell in dreams like in the movie Inception I would end up being those people sleeping there for years

I understand the façade of happiness. My friends don't want to hear about problems. They want to ignore everything and if you are angry or sad then it's your fault and you should feel bad. I gave up on the fake face just for today, and it was amazingly refreshing. Incredibly so. You need to do it to at least see what it's truly like to show who you are to the people you are forced to spend 6 hours with. The best thing you can do is look for like-minded people to hang around with. Stay with them, support them as they support you.

As for sleeping for years, that doesn't sound all that bad.

Faking a happy face is one of the things I haven't done too much. I never saw the point of dong that just to please fair weather "friends" who aren' t really good friends at all anyway. My sort of brooding face didn't make me popular in school, but at least I felt like I could be honest, and that, in itself made me feel a bit better too. And now I can say I feel more genuinely happy.

AdventSign wrote:I feel like I don't belong anywhere and a part of me wants to and a part of me doesn't. Sometimes I don't even know who I am...all I know is to listen to people and that is it. It is hard making friends because I am so open one minute and then really hostile and non trusting the next. I am in college working on my studies content with what I am doing and in a minute or so I suddenly don't want to work and think the field that I am taking is worthless and stupid. It's taken a toll with my girlfriend and the few friends that I have and I really don't know how to handle it. I feel like there are two people living inside of me and it scares me a bit.

same here. although I don't think it's just two, more like hundreds. it's like I adjust to anyone I'm with and that makes me a bit different every time.

Beoran wrote:Faking a happy face is one of the things I haven't done too much. I never saw the point of dong that just to please fair weather "friends" who aren' t really good friends at all anyway. My sort of brooding face didn't make me popular in school, but at least I felt like I could be honest, and that, in itself made me feel a bit better too. And now I can say I feel more genuinely happy.

I put a fake face on just so I don't burden my friends, they always tell me just to act how I feel and they do support me but I just really don't want to trouble them like that because I know it upsets them to see me so sad/pissed all the time but yeah they always try and deal with it nicely.
In just a few short hours I will be heading off back to school after a well needed 2 week stress leave, I'm considering taking today off as well and just go in on monday, I think that would be smarter to be honest. I haven't slept at all tonight, well I did from 11pm-12pm I went for a nice long walk and wound up at my exs house and her nana invited me in, we chatted for a good 3 hours and now I'm here. Not going to lie that REALLY helped and I'm feeling quite happy at the moment, of course right when I walked in my mother flipped out at me and blahblahblah but eh, whatever.

also I get what you mean about being very honest with yourself when you are in school, and I agree that when I don't put on my façade I do feel much better.

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Thanks, I had it edited but changed it after a bit to a tl'dr. That surgery was a year or two ago, since then I've fully recovered. I've even got exercising routines and I'll be running (not competitively) in the summer....just for fitness sake. As for my "friends", one did visit me for a bit, on and off. He came a couple times. Anyway, he stopped coming after the....2nd week I believe. Its definitely not something I mope about anymore, due to being over the situation entirely. But, realizing you were abandoned does have a sting if you give it too much thought. Not the specific people, just the fact you were...I'm not too sure I worded that right.

It's a relief to know you did get over it, I was abandoned to but that was at birth so I don't really care much about it.

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