Hanako's Broken Heart Club

[Camoufrage]

Harsh, how did you end up coping with that?

as i do with everything else. drown myself in video games.
also, listening to Nujabes is a really really good remedy for feeling sad.

for instance i felt kind of sad for the ending of the Rin route, till i saw this video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hRekJkWXXI

Hey there. I totally play the tiles game, too. I even add in the diagonals of where tile corners meet if it gets too easy

Games are totally great for getting an easy feeling of accomplishment, I can understand perfectly how tempting they can be.

What you can do - as in this second, minimal effort for maximum return - to begin that slow process of change is to try out openculture.org. Subscribe to the RSS or the e-mail list or whatever, and turn working through the steady trickle of free videos and essays into a game, like getting Xbox Live achievements or reading a VN about the entire human race.
Everything on the site is completely free and public domain, you will never run out of content, and all of the content will help you broaden your horizons and potentially find something that really inspires you. You may be able to find your way from there.

I have been looking for a lot of inspiration lately... Ive had so many hopes and dreams for myself, but in the end something crushes it for me. My most recent would be how KS has kinda altered my way of thinking. Yet every single time I get a call from my mother all that goes away and Im reminded about the bullshit Im constantly stuck in.

Getting away from family is a lot harder then I thought.

[yummines]

I have been looking for a lot of inspiration lately... Ive had so many hopes and dreams for myself, but in the end something crushes it for me. My most recent would be how KS has kinda altered my way of thinking. Yet every single time I get a call from my mother all that goes away and Im reminded about the bullshit Im constantly stuck in.

Getting away from family is a lot harder then I thought.

i have 0 inspiration for anything really. I'm a freshman in college and if i don't pass this semester with at least 2 Bs and a B+ i'll get kicked out of the school. i should be studying for my midterms actually. I just have no motivation or inspiration for anything atm. playing KS gave me a little inspiration that if even poeple with such deep issues can find love, maybe i can as well. But then its still just a game...

[Camoufrage]

I have been looking for a lot of inspiration lately... Ive had so many hopes and dreams for myself, but in the end something crushes it for me. My most recent would be how KS has kinda altered my way of thinking. Yet every single time I get a call from my mother all that goes away and Im reminded about the bullshit Im constantly stuck in.

Getting away from family is a lot harder then I thought.

i have 0 inspiration for anything really. I'm a freshman in college and if i don't pass this semester with at least 2 Bs and a B+ i'll get kicked out of the school. i should be studying for my midterms actually. I just have no motivation or inspiration for anything atm. playing KS gave me a little inspiration that if even poeple with such deep issues can find love, maybe i can as well. But then its still just a game...

Its crushing isnt it? To come to terms with the fact that its a story, and that it is just so far-fetched compared to the real world.

[ShadeHaven]

i have 0 inspiration for anything really. I'm a freshman in college and if i don't pass this semester with at least 2 Bs and a B+ i'll get kicked out of the school. i should be studying for my midterms actually. I just have no motivation or inspiration for anything atm. playing KS gave me a little inspiration that if even poeple with such deep issues can find love, maybe i can as well. But then its still just a game...

I'm in almost the exact same situation as you. My grade situation is a little different; had to drop 2 classes my first semester and failed another one anyway. Now I feel like I'm lagging behind most other freshmen. I also lack motivation for much of anything anymore, so I'm just sort of getting by for now. I have the same feelings about KS as you as well. Its such a shame that people like those in KS are so hard to find in real life.

[Daitengu]

Wanderingheartache,

Vanessa was right about one thing. You're never going to have a good relationship white knighting. This is 2012. Women don't like that crap anymore. As long as you feel you need to protect, they will feel like you're not a lover, but a protector.

Perhaps this is my fault for not elaborating further as well, I never "white knighted" for her... plain and simple I was a lapdog in her eyes and I was too stupid to realize it. At the time I thought I was just acting how I was supposed to, doing what she asked and learning ways to better myself. I learned how to fire clay to make her a bracelet but that wasn't my only reason... I learned how to do it because I thought it would have helped me concentrate on projects and keep the bad thoughts away when I took a test. One would think I took clay's malleability the same way a young mind works... it can be molded into any shape and fired to make an amazing product, but I saw it more as a way for me to turn my writing ideas into a real physical form. I suppose because I refused to hurt a friend that she saw me as a white knight...

This says different.

Nikki- the girl I'm pursuing now... the friend who I think I give too much space. [cut] I think I told her I'd always be "the knight to her maiden fair")

If a woman needs physical protection, she needs to learn self defense, not rely on someone to always protect her. Simply because no one can "always" protect. Just so you know, I've given stuff like mace and self defense lessons as birthday presents before lol.

[Beoran]

While it's true that the ease of finding love in KS is somewhat idealized, it is definitely possible to find someone in real life. We may have to try hundreds of time, and we may have to travel far across the world, but eventually somewhere we will find someone who we can build a mutual love with. I know I did, and my daughter is the living evidence of that. Meanwhile, while we are looking, we should prepare ourself for that fateful day, so it doesn't slip a way or go wrong.

You see, there's one thing that KS actually gets right: sometimes the difference between success and failure is a single detail. If we coddle that girl one time too much, are dishonest or silent one time too many, get angry when we shouldn't, ... we will fail. Life can be harsh like that, not only in relationships, but also in everything else. Very often, we never get a second chance. And if you let that chance pass by and do nothing, we loose just as well as if we'd failed. I know the prospect of failing can feel paralyzing but a chance not taken is already a defeat. Whenever the opportunity presents itself, we have to take that chance and do all we can to make it work. Then even if we fail the, at least we can say, we gave it our best, and learn from it.

What was that saying? "Insanity is doing the same things and expecting the outcome to be different." If whatever we are doing isn't working for us, isn't getting us the girl, keeps us pining for someone, makes is feel blue or lonely, or has otherwise bad results, then we must stop that. We have to be willing to look at ourselves, what we did wrong, and improve on our own actions and attitudes, because trying to improve others is a losing game.

For all students on this thread: I know it can be hard, I also had some problems passing in university because in high school I git by on talent alone. But I am extremely glad that I did pass. It opened doors for me that would otherwise have be closed. The future may seem far away, but it's close by. If nothing else, go at your studies for yourself, for your own benefit, and make sure you pass at least. Otherwise it's all been a waste of time and money.

[yummines]

I'm in almost the exact same situation as you. My grade situation is a little different; had to drop 2 classes my first semester and failed another one anyway. Now I feel like I'm lagging behind most other freshmen. I also lack motivation for much of anything anymore, so I'm just sort of getting by for now. I have the same feelings about KS as you as well. Its such a shame that people like those in KS are so hard to find in real life.

yea i probably should have dropped some classes last semester. ive spent a total of 500 hours in the gaming lounge. in 1 quarter (10 weeks). honestly thats kind of sad, even for me. i even joined a drawing club just today in hopes of finding someone to talk to. Just because KS gave me some hope.

theres a total of 5 members. 3 are seniors and are leaving this quarter.

Its crushing isnt it? To come to terms with the fact that its a story, and that it is just so far-fetched compared to the real world.

yep. this is why i tend to get a bitter feeling after reading a romance comedy or drama (like Toradora! or to-Love-ru). even though Toradora! is generally much more realistic with its setting than most fiction, considering there's no aliens or amnesia, may still be idealized. Does love really happen by chance meetings? My brother went on an online dating site and got married to a *ahem* large woman who i dont even know her ethnicity and my parents are pissed off at him (as well as saying i have to marry a korean girl or else). considering what I've been through i dont really trust girls on the internet as much.

[Wanderingheartache]

Wanderingheartache,

Vanessa was right about one thing. You're never going to have a good relationship white knighting. This is 2012. Women don't like that crap anymore. As long as you feel you need to protect, they will feel like you're not a lover, but a protector.

Perhaps this is my fault for not elaborating further as well, I never "white knighted" for her... plain and simple I was a lapdog in her eyes and I was too stupid to realize it. At the time I thought I was just acting how I was supposed to, doing what she asked and learning ways to better myself. I learned how to fire clay to make her a bracelet but that wasn't my only reason... I learned how to do it because I thought it would have helped me concentrate on projects and keep the bad thoughts away when I took a test. One would think I took clay's malleability the same way a young mind works... it can be molded into any shape and fired to make an amazing product, but I saw it more as a way for me to turn my writing ideas into a real physical form. I suppose because I refused to hurt a friend that she saw me as a white knight...

This says different.

Nikki- the girl I'm pursuing now... the friend who I think I give too much space. [cut] I think I told her I'd always be "the knight to her maiden fair")

If a woman needs physical protection, she needs to learn self defense, not rely on someone to always protect her. Simply because no one can "always" protect. Just so you know, I've given stuff like mace and self defense lessons as birthday presents before lol.

But I never "white knighted" for Vanessa... that was what I was getting at. For Nikki I'm sure she won't need protection... but I didn't mean it like that either. I'm horrible at explaining things and I doubt you may believe me when I say this, but with Nikki it's more like a joke... I say stupid things and she tends to be assured that I'm pure. Perhaps I should have just said that Nikki never takes me seriously to my knowledge in the first place? Ugh, I feel like shit now... I shouldn't write anything when I haven't slept.

[Mikka]

Hello everybody, I'm Mikka, and I am a girl. I have decided to step up here because maybe it might be nice to have a feminine perspective in this thread, as well as a lot of these posts seem to boil down to- I did this thing so why girl no do that thing? I no can press button and girl reciprocate? Part of the whole no white-knighting thing is no objectifying. Women are not prizes to be won, nor is there a certain set of codes to enter or actions to complete to get said prize. :/

[yummines]

Hello everybody, I'm Mikka, and I am a girl.

I'm on to you.

[Beoran]

Dear Mikka, thank you for your perspective.

It's true, people are not things. Unfortunately, it's easier to pretend that they are. It's not just men, I think, I think most people have such tendencies to see at least some people not like people. I think the saying to keep in mind is "Treat other people in the way they want to be treated."

Yumminess, what's up with that? There's no need to be so skeptical, or are you just joking?
On the other hand, are you from Korean descent? I'm sorry your parents are ... racist if I daresay it? I feel like finding love is going to be a bit of an uphill battle with your parents. But you'll have to do that if you don' t want to end up in an arranged marriage with some Korean girl...

[yummines]

Yumminess, what's up with that? There's no need to be so skeptical, or are you just joking?
On the other hand, are you from Korean descent? I'm sorry your parents are ... racist if I daresay it? I feel like finding love is going to be a bit of an uphill battle with your parents. But you'll have to do that if you don' t want to end up in an arranged marriage with some Korean girl...

a little of both. im a bit cynical when it comes to people starting posts online with "I'm a girl." Not trying to downplay her post or anything.

and yea, of Korean decent. 110% Korean. My tutor tried to rationalize it talking about cultural issues and such, but it's still something at the back of my mind. Other Korean girls tend to remind me of my relatives, which doesn't help. I like blond hair, a lot (though i guess that could be circumvented with hair dye). I don't know Korean myself.
But at the same time i don't want to disappoint them more than I already have. Also i suppose it would be easier and more likely to have a lasting relationship if its someone who i share things in common with.

[scorptatious]

Hey guys, it's me scorp again. For those who don't remember my story, it's on page 2. Go and read that first before reading what I have to say. I'll wait.

...

...

You done? Good. Now I really want to get this off of my chest, because this has been bothering me for quite a while now.

*breathes in* *exhales* Ok.

Remember how I said I asked the girl I mentioned in the story out to the Senior ball? Yeah, I haven't told the full story. The truth is, I was actually pressured into asking her out by her and our friends. At first I didn't really want to despite how I felt for her.

To be honest I'm not 100% sure what it is. I really liked this girl but I was afraid of what I was going to do if I did went out with her. I've never went on a date, (and I still haven't) so I don't have very much experience with girls beyond being friends. Not to mention the fact that I don't have a car so I have to rely on my parents to take me to places. Part of me really hates that about myself. So many guys my age had their driver's licence, they had their own cars, they could take people out. They could go wherever they want. I don't and can't. And it makes me feel ashamed. Part of me would really want a car but I don't have a job so I can't afford one and I don't have a licence so I can't drive one.

Which brings me to my next point. I think I may have realized why she didn't want to go out with me. Perhaps she thought that she was forcing me into something I didn't want to do. And that wouldn't be fair for either of us. So she decided to make up excuses for why she couldn't go with me. As a result, nothing happened between us. If that's the case then I think I figured out what's wrong with me. I'm too afraid of the future. I'm too afraid of what I'll do and what will happen so I hesitate and let opportunities slip by me.

I realize now that there are girls who don't really care too much if I don't have a job or a car, but I wouldn't know that for sure about someone unless I tried to enter a relationship with her.

Which brings me back to today. I'm currently infatuated with this girl. Part of me really wants to talk to her and perhaps confess to her. In fact I even imagined possible scenarios of what could happen. But when I actually do see her, I just can't bring myself to do it. I could talk to her about casual stuff, but I'm afraid to go anywhere farther than that. Plus, the semester is almost over, and I might never see her again if I don't say anything soon.

This, along with other issues I have to deal with: finding a job, college, figuring out what I'm going to do with my life, parents that are getting older, I feel like I'm trapped in someplace I don't want to be and there's no way out. I don't know what to do...

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

[Beoran]

I'm too afraid of the future. I'm too afraid of what I'll do and what will happen so I hesitate and let opportunities slip by me.

Scorptatious, thanks for your story. I think you said it yourself. Too afraid of the future. It just has to sink in a bit more, I guess. It's OK to think of the future, but in the end you have to make a few decisions and act on them. Of course, at some points in life there's a lot to do, and it might be hard to know where to start. I'd say it's best to start doing the things you can do now. So, tell your crush you like her, do your best for your exams. Perhaps get a driver's license during summer holidays?

Yummines, the "no girls on the internet" idea rather annoys me. I know there are many men who pretend to be a woman, but here I'd rather give everyone the benefit of the doubt.

Secondly, this this may sound harsh, but I think your parents deserve to be "disappointed". Their ideas are simply plain wrong, and I hope sincerely that they will one day understand this. If both your brother and you both reject these racist ideas, then they might forced to reconsider them. Secondly, I worry about your brother. You might make things worse for him if you follow your parent's wishes.

You are you. You do not live for your parents. It's up to your parents to make their own happiness. They are probably worried about your happiness as well, but they should understand that this is a personal, private feeling that cannot be achieved just by following preset ideas. Only you can know how to make you happy.

As for having something in common, just having the same cultural background means almost nothing towards the success of a long term relationship. Actually, most people marry someone from the same country and half of them end up either divorcing or in a bad marriage without passion and without love. And it's a cultural background you are only half aware of, since you don' t speak Korean. In stead, look for a lady who likes you and who you like, and with who it's nice to be together with. Whoever she may be or wherever she may come from.

[yummines]

I'm too afraid of the future. I'm too afraid of what I'll do and what will happen so I hesitate and let opportunities slip by me.

Scorptatious, thanks for your story. I think you said it yourself. Too afraid of the future. It just has to sink in a bit more, I guess. It's OK to think of the future, but in the end you have to make a few decisions and act on them. Of course, at some points in life there's a lot to do, and it might be hard to know where to start. I'd say it's best to start doing the things you can do now. So, tell your crush you like her, do your best for your exams. Perhaps get a driver's license during summer holidays?

Yummines, the "no girls on the internet" idea rather annoys me. I know there are many men who pretend to be a woman, but here I'd rather give everyone the benefit of the doubt.

Secondly, this this may sound harsh, but I think your parents deserve to be "disappointed". Their ideas are simply plain wrong, and I hope sincerely that they will one day understand this. If both your brother and you both reject these racist ideas, then they might forced to reconsider them. Secondly, I worry about your brother. You might make things worse for him if you follow your parent's wishes.

You are you. You do not live for your parents. It's up to your parents to make their own happiness. They are probably worried about your happiness as well, but they should understand that this is a personal, private feeling that cannot be achieved just by following preset ideas. Only you can know how to make you happy.

As for having something in common, just having the same cultural background means almost nothing towards the success of a long term relationship. Actually, most people marry someone from the same country and half of them end up either divorcing or in a bad marriage without passion and without love. And it's a cultural background you are only half aware of, since you don' t speak Korean. In stead, look for a lady who likes you and who you like, and with who it's nice to be together with. Whoever she may be or wherever she may come from.

actually its rather that "no girls play KS" rather than no girls on the internet. i saw that other thread, >90% of KS players are male. but yea i'll give her the benefit of the doubt. while posting the Kenji picture i forgot that this thread is mainly serious.

and yea, i'll try to find my own happiness. nobody can decide that for me. i don't exactly know what that is though.