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Re: Running on empty [Emi's good end continued] (updated: 25
Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2014 9:58 pm
by bhtooefr
brythain wrote:acadEmic
/me shakes the pun jar
Time to pay up for that one. (That's not a request, that's a demand.)
Re: Running on empty [Emi's good end continued] (updated: 25
Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2014 10:42 pm
by dewelar
edward_low wrote:I won't spoil anything, but suffice to say: this entire story is about reconciling the Emi you know and the Emi I introduce.
That's some
damn heavy lifting you're going to have to do, there. If you can pull it off believably, I'll be suitably impressed. That said, unless you've read
Developments, the Emi I know may not be the Emi you think I know
.
Re: Running on empty [Emi's good end continued] (updated: 25
Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2014 10:57 pm
by edward_low
dewelar wrote:
That's some
damn heavy lifting you're going to have to do, there. If you can pull it off believably, I'll be suitably impressed. That said, unless you've read
Developments, the Emi I know may not be the Emi you think I know
.
Well, I did say it was ambitious!
If I pull it off I will be suitably impressed too. It's such hard work ...
(I haven't read
Developments, but largely because I thought it was a Lily-fic, a character I really can't stand)
Re: Running on empty [Emi's good end continued] (updated: 25
Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2014 11:05 pm
by Oscar Wildecat
edward_low wrote:(I haven't read Developments, but largely because I thought it was a Lily-fic, a character I really can't stand)
It's a good story -- more of a Hisao-Lilly-Emi-Hanako round robin (of sorts) fic with a dash of Rin and Shizune added in for flavor.
Also, I've been following this story. I'm very interested.
Re: Running on empty [Emi's good end continued] (updated: 25
Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2014 11:27 pm
by dewelar
edward_low wrote:dewelar wrote:
That's some
damn heavy lifting you're going to have to do, there. If you can pull it off believably, I'll be suitably impressed. That said, unless you've read
Developments, the Emi I know may not be the Emi you think I know
.
Well, I did say it was ambitious!
If I pull it off I will be suitably impressed too. It's such hard work ...
As I have found over this past year since I started my own story, as long as you enjoy what you're doing, no amount of work is too hard
.
(I haven't read Developments, but largely because I thought it was a Lily-fic, a character I really can't stand)
Yeah, one of the dangers of setting it in that continuity is that some people write it off as something it's not. I have learned to live with that. To paraphrase something you said in a previous post, I'm not too concerned about people writing my story off before even reading it, if that's the cost of learning. Though I do wish they wouldn't write it off stupidly. wtf
Re: Running on empty [Emi's good end continued] (updated: 25
Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2014 2:00 am
by edward_low
haha rekt.
mea culpa
i'll give it a shot, but i'm really swamped between the army, dota2, learning japanese, writing my own, reading, and so on ...
and thank you all so far for your kind words.
Re: Running on empty [Emi's good end continued] (updated: 25
Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2014 4:53 am
by griffon8
dewelar wrote:edward_low wrote:(I haven't read Developments, but largely because I thought it was a Lily-fic, a character I really can't stand)
Yeah, one of the dangers of setting it in that continuity is that some people write it off as something it's not. I have learned to live with that. To paraphrase something you said in a previous post, I'm not too concerned about people writing my story off before even reading it, if that's the cost of learning. Though I do wish they wouldn't write it off stupidly. wtf
I’d never write off a story here because of the title or premise. I will sometimes wait to read other’s opinion on it, because I can usually count on Mirage weighing in with his own comments.
Okay, I
might skip a story whose premise is a crossover…
Re: Running on empty [Emi's good end continued] (updated: 25
Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2014 3:10 pm
by edward_low
Spent the last week finishing Kerouac's On the Road. Huge waste of time. Worst decision ever.
My apologies, but chapter four is going to take a while more - it's about two-fifths done. I've never been very good at writing back-and-forth conversation but there's no avoiding it now
Re: Running on empty [Emi's good end continued] (updated: 3/
Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2014 1:34 pm
by edward_low
After writing this, I realised I hate this chapter but I don't know why. Probably going to re-work it
Chapter Four:
'Alright, I'll see you around!'
Emi smiles as she waves off a pair of track club juniors until they are lost amidst the human traffic headed towards the canteen. She turns back to me. Now her expression is playfully apologetic. She skips out in front, spins around and winks at me.
'Can't help being popular, y'know.'
'And here I was thinking you looked apologetic ...'
Emi laughs and punches me playfully.
'Oh, it's hard being humble.'
She says this with the barest trace of irony.
The route from the dormitories to Yamaku's main gate isn't particularly long, but we've already been hailed thrice thanks to Emi's natural magnetism. Sometimes, I forget exactly how popular she is, which shouldn't be surprising at all. A brief conversation with a cute, cheerful, twin-tailed track star is enough to enliven anybody's day. More than that though, is Emi's shrewd social sense. It's hard to explain, though it certainly goes further than just remembering names and faces, or being a good listener.
Perhaps it's best described as seeming genuinely happy to have met someone: you can feel the warmth of her personality and respond naturally to it. The words exchanged are fairly superficial, but if there was ever a person who could employ the clichéd 'Hey, it's nice to meet you' and mean it, it's definitely Emi.
We've been walking in silence for a while; I'm lost in thought, and Emi is staring at the canopy of majestic rain trees that line the path. All of a sudden I hear a loud squawk, and the both of us watch, enraptured, as a yellow streak sails from one tree to another. Emi's idea of nudging me is to absentmindedly poke me twice in the side, and I let out a squawk of my own.
'Hisao,' she says excitedly. 'What kind of bird was that?'
'It was an ... uhm ... avis fulvus.'
Another poke in the side, this time accompanied by a trademark pout.
'Not in Latin! Use a language I can understand.'
I'm surprised. She knew it was Latin? I didn't know she was familiar with taxonomy. Something new every day, huh.
'"Yellow bird,"' I say innocently.
'Some scientist you are.'
The banter continued until we reached the wrought-iron gates. I've always found them outlandishly grand and imposing for a high school - even a high school for the disabled. Moreover, the cold and distant image they projected seemed completely at odds of what I understood of Yamaku thus far, even given my relatively short time here.
As soon as we set foot outside school grounds, I cease my explanation on how contrary to popular belief, not all scientists are expert ornithologists, or indeed, experts in every scientific field, and instead ask:
'So, where to?'
It isn't much of a question. It's a simple choice between walking to the quiet town or taking a bus to the bustling city. It's a mildly sunny day with really fresh air: a perfect day to spend outside. While making her decision, Emi sways slightly as she shifts her weight from one prosthetic leg to another. She's wearing a new light blue cotton blouse in addition to a pair of white shorts. Her prosthetic legs are fully covered and then some by her usual striped socks.
At least, I think the blouse is new. I've never seen it before. It does look nice. Should I have complimented her on it? It's the whole 'observant boyfriend' thing, right? It's certainly way too late to mention it now. Well done, Hisao.
Emi suddenly grabs my left hand and pulls me along, almost interrupting my further attempts at mental self-flagellation.
Maybe I should pay for lunch.
'Let's head to the town!'
'If that's the case, why are you dragging me in the direction of the bus stop?'
Emi pauses as she looks back at me, wordlessly. I notice she's giving my thighs a significant look. My aching thighs. Wait a minute ...
I protest. It's dumb, I'm secretly immensely thankful for her concern and frankly dread the thought of walking to town and back, but there's some silly stubborn part of me that refuses to give in to this slight inconvenience of taking the bus. Not even the most sedentary Yamaku student would ever take the bus to town unless it was raining. It just didn't happen. I've seen Lily tap-tap-tap her way to town and back just to do her shopping, solo. If Emi were in my position I'd doubt she would relent an inch. And so I protest sullenly, with the air of a troublesome child.
Except Emi has been in my position before. Being told she should get her legs medically checked out, being told she shouldn't run, being greeted with a wheelchair. These were unequivocally far more bitter non-choices. I remember how difficult it was to get her to do the 'rational' thing. I forcibly clamp my mouth shut in resignation.
'Good job Hisao, you've finally shut up. Don't make me carry you.'
'You, carry me?' I ask incredulously. 'What makes you think you could possibly -'
A red bus zooms past where we're standing. It's travelling at quite a decent speed. The next thing I know, I'm being pulled along and forced to breathlessly keep pace with the school's top sprinter.
'That's our bus!' shouted Emi, exerting ever greater horizontal force on my arm. 'We're not going to miss it - we just have to outrun it. Only about seventy meters to go!'
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry from the irony.
Re: Running on empty [Emi's good end continued] (updated: 3/
Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2014 5:03 pm
by AntonSlavik020
Not much to say, except love the last two lines.