Katawa Shoujo Forums

Eh, I don't like that ending. What else ya' got?

Mirage_GSM wrote:Probably another April Fools joke...

tony246 wrote:I would like to think that it was an april fool's day post purely because of the lack of transition.

But then again, this is the internet so...yeah.

Mut-Who wrote:Not sure if ending is April Fool's Day joke, or if entire fic was meant to be April Fool's Day joke.

I suppose we'll see here soon. Regardless, the fic has been nice a read to far, save for the ambiguously troll ending.

Alright, it's no longer April 1 where I live, so I can now say that that chapter was, in fact, an April Fool's joke. Har har har.

The real chapter 5 will come out when I decide to get off my lazy ass and actually finish it (I'm only 3 paragraphs in right now).

So troll ending was troll. Ass >:(

I had a feeling it was an April Fool's Day thing... I KNEW IT!

Wait, it wasn't dripping with obviousness?

Though I'll admit, it was more subtle than say, BlackWaltz's joke. <.<

Mahorfeus wrote:Wait, it wasn't dripping with obviousness?

Though I'll admit, it was more subtle than say, BlackWaltz's joke. <.<

It never crossed my mind that it was anything else, and I was surprised that anyone thought it was genuine.

Just thought I'd give you all an update, considering it's been nearly a week. I have, in fact, less work on the next chapter than I did the last time I posted. I didn't like the way I started this next chapter, so I scrapped it, and I've got nothing now. So yeah. And now for some overdue responses to things!

Nameless wrote:and so it continues...
Just a small thing about the conversation between Lilly or Hanako talk to Hisao,constantly reiterating Hisao's name is annoying, awkward, and disrupts the flow of the story (unless that is what your going for). We don't really say people's names that often in daily conversation with people in general.
If you must reiterate "friend" try repositioning it at the very least to make it flow better.

Huh. I'll be honest, that never crossed my mind until you pointed it out. I will try to keep this in mind for the upcoming chapters.

Mirage_GSM wrote:

It would probably be difficult for Ms. Satou to understand what anybody is saying if their mouth is full.

Why should that be harder for Lilly than for anyone else?

I guess because I find easy to understand people when they have their mouths full by reading their lips, and I just assumed that everybody could do that, and with Lilly being blind and all...

BobBobberson wrote:So troll ending was troll. Ass >:(

U mad bro?

Mahorfeus wrote:Wait, it wasn't dripping with obviousness?

Though I'll admit, it was more subtle than say, BlackWaltz's joke. <.<

Wait, it wasn't subtle...awww, now I'm sad...

Also, just a quick question: since nobody has brought it up, is it okay to assume that my grammar is "up to par?" I may be a native English speaker, but remembering all of the rules is hard.

Exbando wrote:Just thought I'd give you all an update, considering it's been nearly a week. I have, in fact, less work on the next chapter than I did the last time I posted. I didn't like the way I started this next chapter, so I scrapped it, and I've got nothing now. So yeah. And now for some overdue responses to things!
Also, just a quick question: since nobody has brought it up, is it okay to assume that my grammar is "up to par?" I may be a native English speaker, but remembering all of the rules is hard.

So you scrapped the chapter huh? Well that's okay if it make the final product better in my opinion.
And as for the English thing, not terrible, but then again I'm probably not the best one to say that since I'm also a native English speaker and I still suck with grammar, but nothing too terribly obvious.

After nearly 2 months, I finally have the next chapter finished! I'm now using Google Docs to make sure that post size is not an issue. I hope you all enjoy this next chapter.

Chapter 6

Next Chapter

It was worth the wait.

This won't break the forum by a long shot.

I still have a bit of trouble buying the premise that he wouldn't want to know his own name - and everyone going along with it and not once slipping up... Not even the parents when visiting.
I'm not sure if you have a reason for this, but I can't really think of one...

In the last paragraph he remembers Hanako referring to a house whenever it came up, even if it never came up... Maybe you might rephrase that for more clarity.

Great fanfic so far, I'm anticipating the next chapter.

Mirage_GSM wrote:This won't break the forum by a long shot.

Better safe than sorry, right?

Mirage_GSM wrote:I still have a bit of trouble buying the premise that he wouldn't want to know his own name - and everyone going along with it and not once slipping up... Not even the parents when visiting.
I'm not sure if you have a reason for this, but I can't really think of one...

Because he is an idiot...? Out of all of the characters, I think Hanako has the best reason, but that'll come up later

Mirage_GSM wrote:In the last paragraph he remembers Hanako referring to a house whenever it came up, even if it never came up... Maybe you might rephrase that for more clarity.

It came up once in Chapter 6 and once in Chapter 3. It's when she says that she got his medicine and when she says how long it takes to get to the hospital. Granted, it's pretty obscure, I guess my ability to remember really small and unimportant details is getting into the character.

Elcor wrote:It was worth the wait.

Zombiedude101 wrote:Great fanfic so far, I'm anticipating the next chapter.

Thank you for those nice words.

I might not be able to get the next chapter up in a timely fashion. I'm job hunting, which is eating up a lot of my free time right now. I'll get it up when I can.

In the text Hisao says he remembers her mentioning a house whenever it came up before.
Then he says it probably never came up before.
You might want to remove the second sentence.

I see what you're talking about now. Fixed. Must have had something else on my mind when I wrote that.