Goldilurks wrote:griffon8 wrote:Ah, I meant to eliminate the spaces; no spaces around the 'M-dashes'.
...I'm not sure quite what you mean by that. Are you talking about the sentences with phrases like "100-m dash"?
No, I'm talking about how, for example, “Well yes, Shicchan, you have been acting — wait, I’m a what now?” should instead be, “Well yes, Shicchan, you have been acting—wait, I’m a what now?” with no spaces around '—', which is called an M-dash, because it's a dash with the width of a capital 'M'.
Also, you missed substituting an M-dash here: I didn’t mean that, really – oh, damn it.
And here: Focusing on – that’s it!
But this: Though I have to ask, Shicchan – what was that just now
Should be changed to: Though I have to ask, Shicchan: what was that just now
Goldilurks wrote:Add quote marks: I hit ‘Send’ as I turned the handle
So far I have used italics without quote mark for all writing in my fic. I was gonna stick with that for consistency, but if people find it hard to parse...
It wasn't in italics. It's separating an object out, because Shizune is pressing a button that says 'Send' on it.
Goldilurks wrote:(I love how sudden the change in the story is right after that.
)
As you can tell from the previous chapters I like dropping a bomb at the very end to hook them for the next instalment. On a related note, who saw this chapter's twist coming?
I did. As soon as they had left the track meet, even though Rin indicated it was at different times. SOP for a sneaky getaway.