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Re: Lost in Translation - A Shizune Prequel
Posted: Sat May 16, 2015 7:13 am
by Identity Crisis
I just wanted to say that you have a really good, really entertaining handle on Shizune. Your characterisation, particularly in that first chapter but also in the second, really stands out. Your writing seems to flow naturally and makes for easy reading also. I have to admit I'm a bit envious of it.
Really looking forward to the next chapter.
Re: Lost in Translation - A Shizune Prequel
Posted: Sat May 16, 2015 8:26 am
by Gajzla
I like Shizune’s dry monologue, almost like she was stuck in her own head and was thoroughly put out about it, but being her she refuses to give in and so you get this really interesting character. As I’ve said yours is one of, if not the only Shizune I like. (That i’ve read)
As for flow, well, I never found the other chapters dragging. But then i’m not especially picky if the characters are interesting. Then again if your having these problems at chapter three that could be a bad sign for motivation for the rest of the story.
Here’s hoping you work something out, also does your lab have a sonicator? sonicator’s are awesome.
Re: Lost in Translation - A Shizune Prequel
Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2017 10:14 pm
by Oddball
It's a shame this never got continued. It started off really strong with lots of interesting material to work with.
Re: Lost in Translation - A Shizune Prequel
Posted: Fri Jul 28, 2017 4:32 am
by Mirage_GSM
Mirage_GSM wrote:..., and since it's from you ... there's a good chance it will be finished, since you've delivered before, ...
Yeah, sometimes my words come back to bite me...
Re: Lost in Translation - A Shizune Prequel
Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 12:38 pm
by Blank Mage
Oddball wrote:It's a shame this never got continued. It started off really strong with lots of interesting material to work with.
It is, isn't it? My life was kind of devoured by one-shots, and then actual projects. As it turns out, the boards here saved my chapter 3 draft...
...ah hell, gimme a sec. This might be back on.