Hello again,
apologies for not responsing sooner. I'm glad there's been so many replies, it shows this is an important topic.
I don't argue, I'm here to make a point. That doesn't mean I'm not ready to debate, but you can't expect me to answer posts that include insults or begin with an interjection.
metalangel wrote:
I think there’s a big difference between not being a doormat and being a jerk, however. So much crap is spewed about being manly and a real man and what a real man should do as opposed to just being yourself and having confidence and self respect behind it. I worry that it leads to the unrealistic expectations as Lockhart has given that a well built, masculine and confident guy won’t get rejected, because that suggests only those sort of guys will succeed.
Even the best looking and most experienced guys get rejected all the time. The point is that you don't take rejection as a signal that something is wrong with you - every girl is different, and it's not realistic to expect to click with all of them. Failure is a chance to improve, not an excuse to despair, that goes for both dating girls and life in general.
Manosphere is about self improvement for guys. PUA (pick up artistry) is just a part of it, in reality a lot of those blogs deal with working out, handling stress, being successful at your job/business, life philosophy, web marketing, and societal issues of the western world. PUA part is the most known and has it's share of bad seeds, but that doesn't mean it doesn't work and that in itself is somehow negative.
Eurobeatjester wrote:There is no such thing as "alpha" and "beta." They are terms people use to define themselves because they can't come up with a personality on their own.
When you boil what he said down to its essence, all he's saying is "never let your girl know she's irreplaceable, because then she'll treat you like garbage. Make sure she knows you can replace her so she'll treat you right."
How many times have you seen a guy or a girl dating someone who is "way out of their league"? You'll see a fat guy with a gym bunny or someone who looks like Brad Pitt dating what looks like the school librarian. It's nothing to do with them being "alpha" or not. What it usually comes down to is self confidence and self respect. If you have that, you will draw the attention of the opposite sex, and your relationships will be more meaningful than people who only want you because you're a body builder or supermodel.
Alphas may have an easier time hooking up when they're young with people who are just as shallow, but if they keep that attitude, they're the ones who still hang out at the bars in their 30s telling the chick they're trying to get with what a bitch their 3rd ex-wife is.
You can't divide the entire male population into alpha and beta categories, but everyone is leaning towards one or another. We can introduce terms like "greater beta", "lesser alpha" and "gamma" for those guys that absolutely never get laid. But that's beside the point, which is that we all should work on improving ourselves and strive to become alpha.
If you see a fat guy with a gym bunny that's because the fat guy posesses skills like charm, humor, wealth and status. As men we are in somewhat better position as women, since no matter our looks we can improve ourselves to a point where we can still date at least reasonably hot girls. Self improvement works for girls as well, but to a lesser degree, since they are limited with their given looks. Guys like Brad Pitt that date school librarians (not the best analogy, since of course Yuuko comes to everyone's mind, but I assume you mean an unattractive girl) either arent aware of their own value, or perhaps the librarian simply has great girl game and a loads of other qualities.
It can work both ways, but I'd argue seeing Brad Pitt with a librarian usually means the guy is beta as hell, or simply got lured into a marriage by "accidental" pregnancy.
You say alphas have an easier time hooking up with people who are shallow. Are you saying that girls who prefer strong, confident leader-type men are shallow? If that's the case, all girls must be shallow, which would be really bad news. In reality they aren't shallow at all, they just prefer masculine men, just like men prefer feminine girls.
The same qualities that enable a man to have sex with a lots of girls make him a good long term partner. The only difference is that he chose to settle down instead of sleep around. Let's recap what those qualities are again - in good shape, intelligent, successful at his job/business, confident, creative.
These are the traits we should strive for, no matter what our goal in life is.
Munchenhausen wrote:
Although looks aren't everything, they're detrimental to a strong romantic relationship
If you don't like your girls chunky, you probably wont date one who is.
Us men are a very visual creatures and naturally prefer youthful, feminine, and overall good looking girls. Research has shown that women, until they enter their 30s, prefer men that are slightly older than them. Meanwhile, men of all ages prefer 20 year olds.
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2014/06/ ... wo-charts/
As far as "big" girls go, no one but a few chubby fetishists likes them.
YutoTheOrc wrote:I am alpha and omega; the beginning and the end
That's a great attitude.
A man is nothing without a goal he is driven forwards. The best recipe for life is to select a goal, set down a specific plan how to achieve it - the planning part is just as important as having a goal, many people have "goals" but are afraid think about how to actually reach them - then get obsessed and just go for it.
You can forget everything I've written above if you follow your goal like a maniac. When you become good at something, girls come. Like moths are attracted to the light, girls are attracted to highly driven men.
Zarys wrote:Yeah, he is a little bitter, but criticize him as if he had no right to complain, will not really help him (except put in deeper in a feel of persecution)
You know, people dn' change their bad habits or opinions as you say it is not good or that you criticize them in a so insensitive way.
Ha ha, thanks for caring about my emotional well-being. I'm not posting here to recieve any kind of affirmation (as I said, I could go to any manosphere blog or forum to get that), but to share knowledge. All of us are drawn to lock ourselves into bubbles with people that agree with us on almost everything, because it's easier and we can pretend that "everyone thinks that way". It's good to break out every once in a while.
I understand some of what I wrote can be difficult to digest, but such is life. I've had a good amount of quality relationships with girls, and a few horrible ones. I wouldn't take anything back though, you can learn a lot from your mistakes.
Like buddhists say, there's no right or wrong, just skillful and unskillful actions. It's important to develop certain skills to enjoy the life to its fullest.
