Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club
Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 3:12 pm
Yeah, he is a little bitter, but criticize him as if he had no right to complain, will not really help him (except put in deeper in a feel of persecution)
You know, people dn' change their bad habits or opinions as you say it is not good or that you criticize them in a so insensitive way.
I don't think his view of women is very fair (at least because you can generalize all woman in the world), but he obviously had some bad experiences and do not see what is wrong with him.
And if you absolutely must look for sexism, is that you do not have the impression of being a little rude wth him ?
I'm not sure you would be so intolerant if he was a bitter woman who criticizes men.
It's a bit like a stalker (what he had admit to was before), of course it can be dangerous in extremes cases, and very disturbing, but a stalker is never going to be cured if he is only critized, of course realize his insensitivity is an important step but he will tend to make other bad behaviors, often unintentionally, if he don't fix the affective problems behind that. (and a true stalker/men with strange behaviors suffers often as much as his "victims")
Of course she did nothing really wrong in fact, just said some nasty things.
This is an extreme case, but a man is quickly seen as weak or weird if he remains attached too long to an ex (for example) or complains too much about his love life; and this is probably a major cause of why so many men become bitter.
Of course you said, he said he is sexist, but you are a little sexist youself to don't allow him the right to makes error or have some weakness, and pretend that you have never said stupid things or even believing in wrong things when you were in a bad shape...I don't pretend to have never thinked things like that before. (some people act badly with me, and during a time I think bad thing about people like them; like think wrong things about woman after a bad experience with a woman,ect...before realising it was just her who was wrong, not her whole gender and even that I was no perfect me too)
Of course there is no magic solution to that, but I don't think that saying "you're weird and gringe, shut up and suffer in silence, you disgust me with your presence" is a good thing to say. (or even a really more smart thing to say that what he have said)
Unconciousally, it's almost saying "You bothers me, I would want that you don't exist or kill yourself", I find it's a very bad attitude too. (And only tends to makes a wrong people even more wrong)
You know, people dn' change their bad habits or opinions as you say it is not good or that you criticize them in a so insensitive way.
I don't think his view of women is very fair (at least because you can generalize all woman in the world), but he obviously had some bad experiences and do not see what is wrong with him.
And if you absolutely must look for sexism, is that you do not have the impression of being a little rude wth him ?
I'm not sure you would be so intolerant if he was a bitter woman who criticizes men.
It's a bit like a stalker (what he had admit to was before), of course it can be dangerous in extremes cases, and very disturbing, but a stalker is never going to be cured if he is only critized, of course realize his insensitivity is an important step but he will tend to make other bad behaviors, often unintentionally, if he don't fix the affective problems behind that. (and a true stalker/men with strange behaviors suffers often as much as his "victims")
Of course she did nothing really wrong in fact, just said some nasty things.
This is an extreme case, but a man is quickly seen as weak or weird if he remains attached too long to an ex (for example) or complains too much about his love life; and this is probably a major cause of why so many men become bitter.
Of course you said, he said he is sexist, but you are a little sexist youself to don't allow him the right to makes error or have some weakness, and pretend that you have never said stupid things or even believing in wrong things when you were in a bad shape...I don't pretend to have never thinked things like that before. (some people act badly with me, and during a time I think bad thing about people like them; like think wrong things about woman after a bad experience with a woman,ect...before realising it was just her who was wrong, not her whole gender and even that I was no perfect me too)
Of course there is no magic solution to that, but I don't think that saying "you're weird and gringe, shut up and suffer in silence, you disgust me with your presence" is a good thing to say. (or even a really more smart thing to say that what he have said)
Unconciousally, it's almost saying "You bothers me, I would want that you don't exist or kill yourself", I find it's a very bad attitude too. (And only tends to makes a wrong people even more wrong)
Sure, but is that one must assume that EVERYTHING is necessarily his fault? he just had bad experiences, I think. (and maybe the womans who he have dated are also partially wrong, (it's rare that a bad love experience stems from the fact that one of them was just bad, of course it can go so wrong that one can believe that the other is a kind of demon who will never have a healthy relationship, but it's hapilly usually false; or if one has really a problem, he/she will resolve it; many of the most bad relationship comes to the fact that one or both has already problems when he/she is alone, and have a relationship in this case can be problematic in this case)metalangel wrote:It's almost textbook "there's nothing wrong with me, it must the women" searching for a logical, comforting explanation as to why romantic/relationship woes keep happening. Women's expectations are too high! Women are treated like princesses! Men need to recapture their sweaty, grunting, hairy masculinity! Make them all pay! Treat new people badly because of how past people treated you!
It's really easy to feel this way, to feel angry and upset and ugly and worthless and take it personally (in a way, it is). There are steps you can take to make yourself more desirable, too.
Chips on the shoulder, being bitter/jaded and openly carrying a lot of baggage, though, no. This is extremism.
I'm sure the posts will be edited or deleted again soon enough, and we can get on with our lives.
And you think be better than him when you said things like that ? (Don't take it aggresively, I ask seriously)Khalego wrote: 4) I want to welcome new members here. But you sound like suuuuuuch an ass that I have to say this: Get off my internet. Please!
