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Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 5/3]
Posted: Sat May 04, 2013 11:09 am
by Carighan
YourFavAnon wrote:One conflict down, one major one to go. Solid work.
You're assuming this story will have a somewhat happy ending. Well I guess it'd resolve it all the same.
Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 5/3]
Posted: Sat May 04, 2013 4:28 pm
by Mirage_GSM
Triscuitable wrote:“Thinking about it now, I should have gotten Solus to give you a few pointers for cleaning up when it comes to live specimens.”
Had to be him. Someone else might have gotten it wrong.
Great chapter again, but this made my day
Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 5/3]
Posted: Sat May 04, 2013 5:02 pm
by Fanuilos
Oh man, I got to the end of the chapter and I was leaning halfway off my chair with my face about half a foot from my screen. Great writing man!
Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 5/3]
Posted: Sat May 04, 2013 6:37 pm
by YourFavAnon
Carighan wrote:YourFavAnon wrote:One conflict down, one major one to go. Solid work.
You're assuming this story will have a somewhat happy ending. Well I guess it'd resolve it all the same.
A conflict being resolved doesn't always mean that it ends happily.
Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 5/3]
Posted: Sun May 05, 2013 2:11 am
by Triscuitable
YourFavAnon wrote:Carighan wrote:YourFavAnon wrote:One conflict down, one major one to go. Solid work.
You're assuming this story will have a somewhat happy ending. Well I guess it'd resolve it all the same.
A conflict being resolved doesn't always mean that it ends happily.
Hold on, let me solve this conflict with violence and a smile.
Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 5/3]
Posted: Sun May 05, 2013 6:53 am
by cptngarlock
You know it's good writing when your reader ends up physically reacting to dialogue by yelling their opinions out loud; bravo. This is going to be one helluva wait for the next chapter.
If I were Hisao, I wouldn't be looking forward to that paycheck at this point. While it's very much NOT the ethical thing to do, and the implosion of their relationship was inevitable regardless of Hisao's involvement, I would understand if Tetsuo decided to get Hisao fired just for interfering with his personal life, not to mention outright yelling at his face in a public setting (even if it was outside a professional setting). I actually feel really bad for the poor guy - losing the person you love because you were pursuing your ambitions, and ultimately being made out to be the bad guy. That's just rough, mang.
Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 5/3]
Posted: Sun May 05, 2013 4:05 pm
by carrion_crow
Holy crap how did I not see the mass effect reference? Now I feel like an idiot......Don't rub it in guys. I don't think the relationship was bound to implode though. You never know, I wouldn't be shocked (but extremely dismayed) if tetsou did something extremely romantic and out of character for akira to show his love.
Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 5/3]
Posted: Sun May 05, 2013 4:27 pm
by Thanatos02
Triscuitable wrote:Good chapter. Good read. Back to the adventures of Lara Croft and her longbow.
fluffy_pink wrote:This was a very exciting chapter. Everything Sabin said above me mirrors my own thoughts.
This story gets better with every chapter I read, it's now at the point where I'm yelling at the characters out loud.
Draganada wrote:My god, my heart is pounding! I don't even know what to say about what I've just read, but I was on the edge of my seat!
nemz wrote:Great stuff, very dramatic!
Fanuilos wrote:Oh man, I got to the end of the chapter and I was leaning halfway off my chair with my face about half a foot from my screen. Great writing man!
Thanks so much for reading. The suspense was something I was really trying to build and I'm glad I hit the mark for few people. I also appreciate the pointing out of errors. Luckily so far it's just been small issues, rather than 3 different lines all contradicting each other.
Sabin wrote:I guess it's fitting that my first post be in this thread.
I was quite impressed with this newest chapter, Thana. It had all sorts of potential to crash and burn, what with Hisao jumping the gun on the whole "leaving on a jet plane" thing, but it all seems to have turned out for the best. That whole argument had me on edge and uncomfortable, which is exactly the effect it should have, given the situation. It's nice to see Hisao step up to the plate and just let loose with his feelings on the matter. That said, I can't help but feel sorry for Tetsuo. He really did care about Akira in his own way, and he knows he's screwed up. His choices haven't been the most well thought-out, but his intentions have obviously been in the right place.
All in all, an excellent bit of writing. I look forward to the next installment.
I've already thanked you on Steam but I'll go ahead and say so here as well. It's something I've been trying to build up for a while, the idea that Hisao has to put up with Tetsuo every time he goes to work and the pressure builds and builds until he finally explodes. Even with Tetsuo out of the picture with Akira, though, he's still Hisao's boss, and there is still going to be a lot of development going on at work. Hopefully I can manage to not screw that up come Act 5.
carrion_crow wrote:Ah...I can't even explain how on edge i was during that entire argument. I was beginning to think that red box was a proposal ring and that for whatever reason Akira was going to accept. whoooooooh load off my mind...Now, for the next chapter!
That was an idea for a split second, but I figured something like that would be a little TOO dramatic.
Even better is the idea that my proofreader was suspecting and then suggested the exact same thing during editing.
Hoitash wrote:You know, that coulda gone a helluva lot worse.
A very gripping read, and my mind can't help but wander to the gutter following Akira's last statement.
I re-worked that individual line about a dozen different times, and it got gradually less suggestive each time. The first line I had down was something to the effect of "Don't start with that. not yet anyway. You owe me a drink, we'll see where it goes from there."
So yeah.
Mut-Who wrote:Heading into the finale of Act 4. Should be interesting to see where the dice land.
komina12345 wrote:Why do you leave us at such a cliffhanger man?
Now I know I can't focus on finals
YourFavAnon wrote:One conflict down, one major one to go. Solid work.
Next chapter should hopefully shed some light on a lot of things and give a fitting resolution to the entire story with Tetsuo thus far. Keep in mind, however, that we're not quite finished with all the issues just yet.
Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 5/3]
Posted: Sun May 05, 2013 5:30 pm
by carrion_crow
God dammit Thanatos! When this is over I hope you continue to write more routes/fics. I think I speak for alot of us when I say your akira route is one we must check for updates as soon as we log in. Maybe you can break the curse of the miki route.
Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 5/3]
Posted: Tue May 07, 2013 1:45 am
by somenerd
I love your work
I'll have to read it all over again once it's completely finished.
Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 5/3]
Posted: Tue May 14, 2013 1:33 am
by lazydash
IUHFIUBGFDSIVBSVSIDJGBSGS{OGDIDSGOI GAAHHHHHHHHHH
Why did i have to start reading this before the big finish?
I get so worked up over any small little thing that every time some new twist is introduced i freak out and cant sit still enough to read for 10 minutes. Amazing story though. I always wanted an Akira route the second i met her.
You better update soon Thanatos or i might have to
KILL YOU sit here and wait patiently for an update longer.
Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 5/3]
Posted: Wed May 15, 2013 6:12 am
by ohceedward
Newbie here. Wan't planning on posting anything yet because I was saving my first post for another fic.
This new chapter deserves praise. Kept me on the edge throughout my whole bus trip home. You, sir, have gained my support and I may post some fan art for this fic. Ahuehue.
Already have the sofa scene in sketch.
Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 5/3]
Posted: Wed May 15, 2013 2:01 pm
by carrion_crow
ohceedward wrote:
This new chapter deserves praise. Kept me on the edge throughout my whole bus trip home. You, sir, have gained my support and I may post some fan art for this fic. Ahuehue.
Already have the sofa scene in sketch.
Aww dude fan art would be awesome for this fic. Never get to see any HisaoxAkira art and if any fic deserves it, its got to be this one
Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 5/3]
Posted: Thu May 16, 2013 1:04 am
by Thanatos02
carrion_crow wrote:God dammit Thanatos! When this is over I hope you continue to write more routes/fics. I think I speak for alot of us when I say your akira route is one we must check for updates as soon as we log in. Maybe you can break the curse of the miki route.
I don't know if I plan to keep on writing after the Akira route, honestly. I've always been intimidated by the thought of a Miki route because so many people try their hand at it.
ohceedward wrote:Newbie here. Wan't planning on posting anything yet because I was saving my first post for another fic.
This new chapter deserves praise. Kept me on the edge throughout my whole bus trip home. You, sir, have gained my support and I may post some fan art for this fic. Ahuehue.
Already have the sofa scene in sketch.
I very much support any sort of fanart for this story and I'm looking forward to it if you're working on something. I'd link to a few things from an anonymous drawfriend on KSG but I'm sure everyone has already seen them.
Also, I'm expecting to have 4-9 out by Saturday. It's about 3/4 of the way there right now.
Re: Akira Pseudo-Route [Updated as of 5/3]
Posted: Thu May 16, 2013 3:24 am
by Bagheera
Thanatos02 wrote:carrion_crow wrote:God dammit Thanatos! When this is over I hope you continue to write more routes/fics. I think I speak for alot of us when I say your akira route is one we must check for updates as soon as we log in. Maybe you can break the curse of the miki route.
I don't know if I plan to keep on writing after the Akira route, honestly. I've always been intimidated by the thought of a Miki route because so many people try their hand at it.
But you did one already . . .
(okay, not really. But I always liked your Miki stuff anyway.)