Hanako's Broken Heart Club

[Exbando]

I know exactly what you mean. My cousin gets killed and I don't shed a tear. But Katawa Shoujo made me tear up at some parts. All I can think is, do you know your grandmother very well? Mine was always mean to me so, yeah...

I hope knowing that you aren't alone with your feelings and wonder is some sort of consolation. You made me feel less alone from reading you post.

I know my grandma very well. She (and my grandpa) even paid for me to fly to Florida and spend time with them last year.

It's always nice to know that you're not alone with something. I can't tell you how many posts I've read in this thread and have said to myself, "That seems extremely familiar."

[Daggett]

I know exactly what you mean. My cousin gets killed and I don't shed a tear. But Katawa Shoujo made me tear up at some parts. All I can think is, do you know your grandmother very well? Mine was always mean to me so, yeah...

I hope knowing that you aren't alone with your feelings and wonder is some sort of consolation. You made me feel less alone from reading you post.

I know my grandma very well. She (and my grandpa) even paid for me to fly to Florida and spend time with them last year.

It's always nice to know that you're not alone with something. I can't tell you how many posts I've read in this thread and have said to myself, "That seems extremely familiar."

You saying that is seems extremely familiar too. I'm not sure about that then. Last time something that I thought would have affected didn't then and there, but it came later. I guess you could it came as a delayed reaction. Has that ever happened to you?

[LunarKnite]

Something strange has been going on lately. Yesterday, my grandma went to the ER. I don't know why, but she has some operation tomorrow. What I found strange is, when I was being told, I had no emotion. Everything I felt was the same way I normally feel. Like I don't really care (at least that's how it looks to others I'm guessing). What really bothers me, though, is that after finishing a book (won't say what book), I was crying because a certain character had died. Why is it that a member of my family can go to the hospital, and I just stand there with a blank face, and yet a fictional character can actually stir emotions up in me. All of that just feels wrong.

I know that feeling, or rather the lack of one in this case. My grandma died a few years back and while my mom was understandably distressed and even went back to her home country for a while, I didn't really feel much. Maybe it was because she was halfway across the world and I've only met her five or six times, but family is family right? It should mean something, right? Sometimes I wonder about that.

The only thing I can think of why I, at least, connect more often with characters than real people is because I don't (or perhaps try not to) get as emotionally attached to real people as I do with characters in a book, tv series, or a game like Katawa Shoujo. I don't know if it's right or wrong, it's just how it is, how I feel, and I don't think it's right for anybody to expect some kind of other feeling that's not natural or genuine.

[Beoran]

Exbando, I hope your grandma will be well.

I guess such a feeling is sort of normal for people like us. Reality is something we have have armed ourself against, so even if bad things happen for real, we don't feel so much. The armor on our mind stops that from happening. Fiction is something we willingly let in, so then we feel a lot. And it's not true, so it's easy to dismiss. Reality isn't so easy to dismiss once you let it in. So many people just don't let that happen. I know I do that a lot.

Is that bad? I don't know. I guess there is only so much real suffering we can take before we build barriers to stop it. But on the other hand, those barriers seem to block happy feelings as well. How complicated we make the labyrinth of our self...

[Daitengu]

Exbando,

It could just be shock. I know when I went to the funeral of my uncle I didn't feel anything till a week later. He also had bouts of leukemia and was old, so I was rather prepared for his passing. I was more sad that I wouldn't be able to see him again instead of his death.

Also remember that anything only holds the value you think it holds. If you don't think death is sad, then it isn't. I've noticed many people that are sad about a person passing is because they will miss them. Some are sad from regret about not being able to save the person that died. There's lots of reasons to be and not to be sad.

[EyesOfLilly]

Recently I have been feeling down, I have had a simelar feeling to this a few years back, where I was really depressed and even had a nervous/mental breakdown and was put on anti-depressants but thankfully I don't think it's as bad this time but this does make me feel like a complete failure.

The thing is I have a friend who is a girl and we've known each other for a long while now and over the years I can sense that our relationship had become really close to the point where we considered each other as close family, it was at this realisation that I came to believe that I may have strong feelings for her as anytime I am with her or even just talking to her via facebook or skype I feel like the happiest guy in the world BUT one day as we were talking she released this major bombshell on me.

She told me that she was moving to America with her family due to a family member getting a job that would be a big help to her and her family, I was shocked, shaken for about ten minutes I couldn't even reply to her the thought that she was leaving me and her friends, everything she knew behind to be with her family really shocked me. I felt sick and dazed eventually I managed to reply to her trying to hide my feelings about this.

I think this is why Lilly's path had such an emotional tie to me because I am in the EXACT same boat as Hisao and I can relate to his feelings, a girl that I have strong feelings for just leaving me and the country to be with her family, it was like Lilly's path was based on that event of my life. About a month ago I tried to seize the moment and tell her that I still like her and that I wanted to be with her while I still could before she leaves but I was unfortunately unsuccessful as she told me then that she was already dating somebody else, I felt like she had just tore my still beating heart out of my chest and stamped on it 'till it was flat.

That moment was the most awkward and heartbreaking moment of my life and the worse part is she hasn't spoke to me since the whole matter was just so awkward that I think it may have ruined our close friendship, I do feel sore about this even now and I am almost glad I didn't tell her that I had fallen in love with her, I think this feeling would have been even worse. So now, I am utterly heartbroken and feel like I should just give up life, and knowing that soon in the next few months or the end of the year she'll be on the plane to the US really kills me.

It seems that I am going to get the bad ending of this particular path.

[Tomate]

Something strange has been going on lately. Yesterday, my grandma went to the ER. I don't know why, but she has some operation tomorrow. What I found strange is, when I was being told, I had no emotion. Everything I felt was the same way I normally feel. Like I don't really care (at least that's how it looks to others I'm guessing). What really bothers me, though, is that after finishing a book (won't say what book), I was crying because a certain character had died. Why is it that a member of my family can go to the hospital, and I just stand there with a blank face, and yet a fictional character can actually stir emotions up in me. All of that just feels wrong.

As said Before by Beoran and Daitengu, its probably shock.

I felt the same way in my father died, my sister told me he was dead, and i was there, all grim faced and angry, but not really sad, I didn't even cried during the funeral, two days after i was miserable about his death. Somethings just take time. But then again, when my grandma died i didn't care that much, and never felt sad about it after.

Now Fictional characters can impact your life and you can be sad by their demise, but its not a deep sadness, dig? The ending of Dreamfall (a pc game) its really bleak when i finished it, the feels made me sad for a couple of days, but now, one year later I just don't care about it anymore. It was relevant during the time i was playing the game, not now. The Same thing happened to other characters that gave me the feels. Then made me sad, happy or annoyed during the time i was consuming the game/book/movie, after it is done, its done.

[Tomate]

That moment was the most awkward and heartbreaking moment of my life and the worse part is she hasn't spoke to me since the whole matter was just so awkward that I think it may have ruined our close friendship, I do feel sore about this even now and I am almost glad I didn't tell her that I had fallen in love with her, I think this feeling would have been even worse. So now, I am utterly heartbroken and feel like I should just give up life, and knowing that soon in the next few months or the end of the year she'll be on the plane to the US really kills me.

It seems that I am going to get the bad ending of this particular path.

Yep, it seems to me you've been friendzoned. If you like the girl, you say righ away. IF not you are doomed, if you spill your feelings after too much time she will probably be angry about the whole thing, thinking that you were just friends with her to try and get in her pants.

And why give up on life from a little heartbreak? plenty of things to see and do when you are alive,

[EyesOfLilly]

That moment was the most awkward and heartbreaking moment of my life and the worse part is she hasn't spoke to me since the whole matter was just so awkward that I think it may have ruined our close friendship, I do feel sore about this even now and I am almost glad I didn't tell her that I had fallen in love with her, I think this feeling would have been even worse. So now, I am utterly heartbroken and feel like I should just give up life, and knowing that soon in the next few months or the end of the year she'll be on the plane to the US really kills me.

It seems that I am going to get the bad ending of this particular path.

Yep, it seems to me you've been friendzoned. If you like the girl, you say righ away. IF not you are doomed, if you spill your feelings after too much time she will probably be angry about the whole thing, thinking that you were just friends with her to try and get in her pants.

And why give up on life from a little heartbreak? plenty of things to see and do when you are alive,

Yeah I know, The thing is I should've seen this coming I knew it was risky but I went along with it anyway like an idiot however I don't think I actually will give up life but it feels like I should, I guess I'll just try and adapt to a life without her and go on from there but I don't think I'll ever forget her.

[Beoran]

Dear EyesOfLilly, thank you for your story.

Sorry to sound harsh, but if there is one thing I've learned is that if you want love, you should never be satisfied with just friendship. And secondly, you have to make hay while the sun shines.

Also, in a sense you have not been honest to her. You knew her for years, but, you didn't tell her your real feelings. It's not a good idea for close friends to keep secrets like this. If you like someone then it's important to tell them that as soon as possible. Like Daitengu says, tell her, perhaps with an apology for your lateness. You owe her at least that much. She is already set to move out of your life, and even if she were to get more angry at you, you will not lose more than you have already lost. You will probably end up without her, but at least you can avoid regrets.

That's a third thing : in most cases I regret things I didn't do more than things I did do.

Well, I'll leave it at that. I hope my rambling was useful to you or anyone else here.

[Daitengu]

I think this is why Lilly's path had such an emotional tie to me because I am in the EXACT same boat as Hisao and I can relate to his feelings, a girl that I have strong feelings for just leaving me and the country to be with her family, it was like Lilly's path was based on that event of my life. About a month ago I tried to seize the moment and tell her that I still like her and that I wanted to be with her while I still could before she leaves but I was unfortunately unsuccessful as she told me then that she was already dating somebody else, I felt like she had just tore my still beating heart out of my chest and stamped on it 'till it was flat.

While there is the saying better late than never, you knew it wouldn't end well either way. Atleast you told her so that you don't regret not telling her.

Here's what I wonder. Have you met her boyfriend? I've noticed that sometimes in these situations the person moving lies to try and save their own heartbreak. It usually makes it worse on both parties tho. And if she does have one, she's had him longer than her notification of moving overseas, otherwise she wouldn't have had one.

She is moving, I don't know ages, but chances are she'll go with family if she's not of age. You expressed your feelings yes, but you upgrading to boyfriend status right after she announces she's moving is/was pretty unlikely. Being her boyfriend for the last bit of time you cats got left would just hurt you both. The only thing I can recommend is trying to salvage your relationship so that it can end amicably as friends when she moves, otherwise you both may linger on regrets of bad partings.

I recommend starting out apologizing for not understanding her feelings in such a situation. Because she so losing all her friends, and being uprooted to a whole different land and culture. Learning of your feelings at the last minute like that would already be heartbreaking regardless of dating status. Then try to be friends, and throw a going away party or something if you cats reconcile. Try to see her off on a good note so that neither of you harbor negative feelings.

The future is a mystery, you never know if she'll end up back in town in the future. Wouldn't you want to atleast be able to meet her if it happens? leaving it as is would prevent that from happening.


add: I think that's the best advice I've ever given lol

[Tomate]

Being her boyfriend for the last bit of time you cats got left would just hurt you both.

I am no romantic, but, as Tennyson wrote "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"

[Daitengu]

I am no romantic, but, as Tennyson wrote "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"

It'd be bittersweet, but it doesn't change the fact that she turned him down.

Imagining how much it would hurt dating someone knowing they will be gone shortly...

[The O.H.L.]

Something strange has been going on lately. Yesterday, my grandma went to the ER. I don't know why, but she has some operation tomorrow. What I found strange is, when I was being told, I had no emotion. Everything I felt was the same way I normally feel. Like I don't really care (at least that's how it looks to others I'm guessing). What really bothers me, though, is that after finishing a book (won't say what book), I was crying because a certain character had died. Why is it that a member of my family can go to the hospital, and I just stand there with a blank face, and yet a fictional character can actually stir emotions up in me. All of that just feels wrong.

I know the exact feeling. I had it when I had the news that my Father died. I felt nothing. Not for a while at least, but you will feel something eventually. For me when I did feel something those damn feels it me like a bullet train.

Not in Response to Exbando:

I feel I need to talk about life again for me, just because I still feel like I can't talk to anyone without it biting me in the ass later on.
Lately I've become an insomniac because for no apparent reason all of a sudden I am afraid to lose consciousness, and now most nights I am awake till at least 3 AM. I'm also now a little afraid of going out in public because I feel like my acne and acne scars are horrible disfigurations and that people will hate me for showing my ugly mug in public, I feel like a horrid monster that needs to stay in a dark dank cave to save the public from what I really am. I'm in a way becoming Hanako, and I really really really don't want to go down that route. It's terrifying. I feel like crap half the time because I think that I'm too ugly to love, and I am constantly having arguments with my Mother about the most pointless things possible.

She'll make fun of me for no reason at times. She'll laugh when I screw a word up, which is VERY common for me because I generally speak very fast. I isolate myself in my room just to get away from her, I hate her with all my being and I have been feeling detached from the rest of my family for years. She gets angry at me for nothing, then wonders why I start yelling back at her and pretends she was never yelling.
One time when I had my closest friend at my house, she made dinner for us and we were both very thankful and polite. We had wraps with chicken in them (yes this is relevant to the story) and there was one piece of chicken left that was ready, more cooking, and I asked my friend if he minded that I had it. He said yes. My Mother flipped out and started yelling, getting angrier and angrier because apparently she thought I hadn't asked my friend first. My friend even tried calming her down by explain what happened and she just went absolutely crazy at him as well. We had to sit outside for about an hour and a half just to make sure she was calm.

I think I need some kind of love because at the moment I feel non from anyone. I had a friend for about 4 years, we were very close but for whatever reason we stopped communicating one year ago. I think I need her support now more then ever but I as always I can't bring myself to communicate with her. All I need is some advice on whether I should communicate with her again, so please, if anyone actually read this, any advice?

Ghee thanks Katawa Shoujo for making me think about life this hard.

[Beoran]

Dear O.H.L., thank you for your story.

It must be hard on you, but also on your mother to have lost your father so soon. Perhaps that is one of the factors that has made her so ... irritable? I think it would be nice if she was there to support you, but perhaps she's in too much pain herself? Maybe, she needs your support as well?

I would just give it a try to contact your old friend. You're already out of touch, so the worst that can happen is that she refuses to talk to you and you stay out of touch. A "No" you already have, a "Yes" you have a fighting chance to obtain.