Katawa Shoujo Forums

Steinherz wrote:I have some heartbreaking news.
I recently transferred to a new computer, but somehow all of the save files for ALL of my VNs were lost/deleted in the transfer.
That is really upsetting, and means I have to go through Katawa Shoujo again.... and get all the bad/neutral endings before getting the good endings.... again.

DEPRESSION, HO!

Is that even worth the heartbreak?

SpunkySix wrote:

Steinherz wrote:I have some heartbreaking news.
I recently transferred to a new computer, but somehow all of the save files for ALL of my VNs were lost/deleted in the transfer.
That is really upsetting, and means I have to go through Katawa Shoujo again.... and get all the bad/neutral endings before getting the good endings.... again.

DEPRESSION, HO!

Is that even worth the heartbreak?

Seeing as how I'm still emotionally deadened from my dog passing away on the 31st of January, I can handle the feels/heartbreak.

Steinherz wrote:

SpunkySix wrote:

Steinherz wrote:I have some heartbreaking news.
I recently transferred to a new computer, but somehow all of the save files for ALL of my VNs were lost/deleted in the transfer.
That is really upsetting, and means I have to go through Katawa Shoujo again.... and get all the bad/neutral endings before getting the good endings.... again.

DEPRESSION, HO!

Is that even worth the heartbreak?

Seeing as how I'm still emotionally deadened from my dog passing away on the 31st of January, I can handle the feels/heartbreak.

Aw, man... sorry about that.

Potato wrote:

pandaphil wrote:And no, first time using insulin, so I'm really nervous.

It's not too difficult unless you really hate needles. Just don't skip a lot of nights at once.

I don't HATE needles. I'm just not overly keen about sticking them into myself.

Steinherz wrote:

SpunkySix wrote:

Steinherz wrote:I have some heartbreaking news.
I recently transferred to a new computer, but somehow all of the save files for ALL of my VNs were lost/deleted in the transfer.
That is really upsetting, and means I have to go through Katawa Shoujo again.... and get all the bad/neutral endings before getting the good endings.... again.

DEPRESSION, HO!

Is that even worth the heartbreak?

Seeing as how I'm still emotionally deadened from my dog passing away on the 31st of January, I can handle the feels/heartbreak.

Awww, I'm sorry. Sounds like you need to put it on hold until you're feeling stronger.

pandaphil wrote:

Steinherz wrote:

SpunkySix wrote:Is that even worth the heartbreak?

Seeing as how I'm still emotionally deadened from my dog passing away on the 31st of January, I can handle the feels/heartbreak.

Awww, I'm sorry. Sounds like you need to put it on hold until you're feeling stronger.

Actually it's the perfect time. I can't get any more depressed from the soul-crushingness of the bad/neutral ends, so why wait?

Hi Everyone,

Something very significant happened to me last night. I’ve known about this thread for a while, but have never had anything to say or talk about before.

Mid last year I discovered KS, and a few months after that I started reading fanfiction. The stories were nice, I enjoyed them - even the ones that made me sad. I found quite a few of the best ones through the TV Tropes page about KS fanfiction. There’s one on there that I ignored for a while - ‘Braving the Storm’ - a story by Doomish. ‘Trigger Warning’ was tagged on the story. Hah - nothing for me to worry about. After ignoring it for a while and running out of reading material, I took the plunge and obtained a copy of the story. Since then - months ago, until last night, I have been...it’s not an exaggeration to say ‘traumatized’ by it. The scenes of Misha being physically abused by her drunken father, they hurt me so much. Every day, several times a day, for the past however many months, my brain has forced me to relive those scenes in vivid detail over and over again, as if torturing me. Sure, a dark story is a dark story, but why was I so affected by it?

Last night, while not tired enough to sleep, I ‘played counsellor with myself’. Using the nice man I saw a few years ago to try and cure my depression as inspiration, I pretended I was both the patient and therapist - asking myself questions, letting myself express my feelings, my fears, etc. And for several hours until past midnight, I realized why that story hurt me so.

My father was abusive. I’m ready to admit it now. I didn’t realize it for years.

My mother hated him. His new wife hates him. She’s spoken to me via email for a couple of years, and tells me the children she has with him are scared of him. They’re divorcing now, just like my mother did to him years ago. And most of all me. I was scared of him ever since I was a small child. I could never figure out why. It was just some...irrational fear of his presence. But the more I think about it, the more I realize why.

I remember him arguing with my mother in the living, his back to me - I was a small child, with a pair of scissors in my hand for whatever reason, and having this inert desire to stab him with them, to make him go away.

I remember him being mean to me and shouting at me on countless occasions over the years. I remember once I’d messed up the family computer, and after him having a go at me, I went up to my bedroom to find some papers and books to help, and just sitting on the staircase in the hallway at night, in the darkness, the lights turned out, too scared to go back into the living room where he was.

I remember trying to sing myself every night, to distract me from the sounds of my parents shouting and screaming at each other downstairs. My mother unhappy at his constant affairs, and my father...I’ve no idea what his verbal defence could have been.

And, in particular, one memory seems to stand out. I was a fan of professional wrestling as a child. My father and I were play-wrestling on my parent’s bed. He wanted to be a good father. He was naturally bad at it, but sometimes he tried. I’ve blamed myself all these years for his unhappiness. I was a difficult child - that’s why my mother and father never had any more kids. I cried too much, or threw tantrums, and my father didn’t have the easy family life he wanted. Or I wasn’t the sporty son he wanted, instead I was a nerd. As we were on the bed, I punched him in the genitals - I was too young to realize the significance of it. It was my fault - I caused it. Contradictions like this have made the truth harder to understand. And he was enraged. He hit me in the face. It wasn’t a reprimand like I’ve kidded myself it was. It wasn't a disciplined slap on the leg. He hit me in his rage. With his open palm across my face. Hard. hard enough that it stung, and I was stunned into silence, rather than tears. Followed by his frightening shouting. The more I think about it, the more I realize a memory of my own childhood is a parallel to what’s in Doomish’s story that upset me.

Ironic, isn’t it? The ‘Trigger Warning’ attached to that story was intended for......me. Me!

It all makes sense now. I must admit, I’m very relieved to finally understand why my brain was trying to make me relieve the violence.

I used to have other memories, but they’ve faded with time. Maybe one of them was him hitting me on another occasion. I don’t remember anymore. I wasn’t physically abused. One hit (or even two) isn't enough to call me that. Those who suffered far worse deserve the help and sympathy that comes with that label. But I now admit that I was a victim of him.

After last night, It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I don’t feel I have any outstanding unresolved issues about this. I just wanted to publicly express my feelings.

Thank you for reading.

Hello everyone, you all probably have not seen me in about a year or so... I've been having computer troubles and naturally posting or even commenting on stories in this thread is quite a chore on a smartphone. Things haven't really improved for me... but I'm not here to whine about that, I won't bring up my ex Kyra any more even though she and I still remain pretty close friends but I will still bring up things that bother me currently (and yeah, this still involves certain people who just can't keep their relationship together without hating on me... Hungary and Pythagoras, so be prepared to hear more about them) and what I am afraid of seeing in my future. I'll try to keep it brief and only come back to the past if it is truly affecting my present...

First though, the good news actually... however it comes in bite-size because despite being progress it isn't exactly significant in my eyes:

1.) My father and I are getting along better, he's even offered to drive me to places to turn in my applications and/or to appear for interviews if I get them...

2.) I've sent in my application for college classes just in case I do not get any replies for job inquiries

3.) I've become the team leader of the team I joined for cardfight vanguard at a hobby store I live near

4.) I've become a semi-permanent volunteer staff member for some local conventions

5.) I've gotten back into writing and I have started writing stories for some people who want to make fan comics

and finally 6.) I finally found a group in the city where I live that likes to discuss tokusatsu shows and build gundam model kits.



Now, the bad news... and I apologize but this will get lengthy:


On Valentine's Day, someone broke into a car in my neighborhood... guess who fit the description? Yup, I was a suspect for a string of break-ins in my neighborhood... of course I was innocent but someone sure had strong confidence that I was guilty. Enter Pythagoras... someone who I thought had moved away and had gotten married to Hungary, the last I had heard they moved to West Virginia to be closer to her younger siblings (if not just to get away from me now that I work conventions in the area). I wasn't locked up mind you, but I did have to go through a lengthy questioning session to prove my innocence... did I mention I hadn't been home that whole weekend and the people I worked a convention with could verify that I was not even anywhere near my neighborhood at the time? So after I was cleared of charges I decided to pay my informant a visit... Olympia knew nothing, but she did decide to take on the moniker of "Shallow Esophagus" again to go searching. It wasn't her who gave me the information I needed though, her boyfriend Miles is the one who still had ties to the liars...

This is what he uncovered (my input will be bolded and yes I did dissect it):

well, first off, I think I will start posting my school assignment poems on here, and any comments on how to make it better, without being rude, would be appreciated. now, on to the chant.

Translation: "I will not accept criticism and I only want people to praise me..." also I think you mean RANT

so, i was put on a higher dosage for my medication, and more than a month later, my neurologist decides that NOW is the time to call me and tell me, no i don't want you to go down, after i've been up 200 megs (or 4 more pills, as opposed to the 6 i was originally supposed to be taking) for a whole month and i've been doing okay.

(What? That makes no sense... sounds like someone's attention seeking, also MILLIGRAMS is "mg", not "megs". I'm fairly certain that "megs" refers to something in electronics)

i mean, the hospital i was admitted to told me my levels were too low, my fiance told me, even my best friend, said it wasn't too much,

(these are the people she's supposed to trust and they agree with the doctor... this shocked me, normally enablers say the opposite)

and now she wants me to go back up and have a blood test! and on top of that, i called to try and get some answers, and her assistant, who never answers her phone by the way,

(maybe because you harass your doctor and possibly this assistant because you're not taking your meds?)

not only didn't talk to me, but when i called and got ahold of someone at the front desk, i could hear her in the background, telling the woman what the freaking say! i an SO pissed off with them, i'm not going to go to her anymore. i'm finding a new person to go to, and i will never go to her again.

(perhaps the assistant is terrified of you? sounds like your anger problem is getting worse)

my mom knows i hate needles, and now that i have to get blood work done to check the levels, i have to get poked again, after i had been poked, prodded, and told that i needed to have things done the professional's way and not open my big mouth and tell them when i'm in pain, my fear is suffocated and pushed down under the rug.

(okay, maybe you have a legitimate fear... but I doubt the professionals are telling you that you're faking it. Definitely attention seeking now)

i don't know what to do, and on top of all of that, i got into a fight with my fiance last night over something that he should help me with, and he said some hurtful things (that he apologized for today, but still..), and i've felt the urge to cry all day. i may have, kinda, sorta went a little suicidal last night, too (with my thoughts), but i'm fine now. nothing that depressing music can't fix, right?

(you went "suicidal" because you two argued? no wonder you're on medications, okay perhaps I don't have a right to say anything in that matter... but I think if you had just taken your medication like you were told it would probably help a little? I don't know...)

okay guys, chant's over. thanks for listening to me whine about my life, and i hope you post comments to my poems.

(RANT... YOU MEAN RANT)


^ Honestly, I do not know why Miles sent me this... it tells me nothing about why I was a suspect in Pythagoras' car being robbed. It does however, show that Hungary is mentally unstable... I'm kind of shocked that he actually cares for her now. Though it could just be the whole mental instability thing... still I have to say if he's genuinely worried for her I might have read him wrong, still I cannot shake the alleged abuse she spoke of before. He apparently used to hit her and he berated her about her (admitted) dangerous driving during a rainstorm, I seriously applaud him for having remorse if he is being genuine about his engagement and his concern for her mental health (especially since I figure he's the cause of it worsening with his abuse). I had no idea they were engaged though... I won't comment on it but I feel like they got engaged sometime rather quickly after they started turning friends against me.


Ah, but enough of that... let's move on shall we? I'm going to sleep now, I'll update you all after this weekend is over... it's South by Southwest (SXSW) and I'm supposed to be working street team for a convention. Normally I don't work promotions, but I was called up to supplement the short staff... plus I've always wanted to experience something my city is famous for other than the Sixth Street Pub Crawl

Well, more of my insignificant problems.

I'm four days into taking Insulin and it doesn't seem to be doing anything. My blood sugar is still pretty high. Around 169. So tomorrow is my third day of 12cc shots. If nothing changed Tuesday morning, I'm supposed to up it to 14cc's.

As for my back I still have a dull pain in my side, but at least its tolerable.

Yeah. I probably don't have perfect grammar. But what kind of forum do measure how good a comment is from their f-ing grammar?

Just being rejected from a site that giving money for posting in forums because. "Your grammar is too poor for *******. We need posters with excellent English grammar." At least it make me little more alive. Even through I am pretty far for whining and being angry in real-life. I still... well, It's totally okay for them to think that grammar is all that prove of "strength" and "thought".

Anyway, I think I need serious training in grammar. It's only major flaw in my decent English and I need decent English for writing a novel in English. For now, I surely can't tell my future employers that I have great English with such flaw. So I will hone it for next few months.

EDIT : After an online SAT test. I think I can blame my education for that.

EDIT2 : To sum it up; it's okay to make grammar mistake around here. Most wouldn't dare typing with foreigner anyway. F*** this system. (I just know what semicolon used for. Who will know this if they were learning Present Simple for 4th times in his lifetime?)

Auratus wrote:Yeah. I probably don't have perfect grammar. But what kind of forum do measure how good a comment is from their f-ing grammar?

Just being rejected from a site that giving money for posting in forums because. "Your grammar is too poor for *******. We need posters with excellent English grammar." At least it make me little more alive. Even through I am pretty far for whining and being angry in real-life. I still... well, It's totally okay for them to think that grammar is all that prove of "strength" and "thought".

Anyway, I think I need serious training in grammar. It's only major flaw in my decent English and I need decent English for writing a novel in English. For now, I surely can't tell my future employers that I have great English with such flaw. So I will hone it for next few months.

EDIT : After an online SAT test. I think I can blame my education for that.

You know what? Compared to many people I know, your grammar is actually pretty good, and it's even more impressive given (I presume) it's not your first language. If it's not your first language (or even if it is), it's pretty shitty of said forum to exclude you for what is really not terrible grammar at all.

Auratus wrote:Yeah. I probably don't have perfect grammar. But what kind of forum do measure how good a comment is from their f-ing grammar?

Just being rejected from a site that giving money for posting in forums because. "Your grammar is too poor for *******. We need posters with excellent English grammar." At least it make me little more alive. Even through I am pretty far for whining and being angry in real-life. I still... well, It's totally okay for them to think that grammar is all that prove of "strength" and "thought".

Anyway, I think I need serious training in grammar. It's only major flaw in my decent English and I need decent English for writing a novel in English. For now, I surely can't tell my future employers that I have great English with such flaw. So I will hone it for next few months.

EDIT : After an online SAT test. I think I can blame my education for that.

EDIT2 : To sum it up; it's okay to make grammar mistake around here. Most wouldn't dare typing with foreigner anyway. F*** this system. (I just know what semicolon used for. Who will know this if they were learning Present Simple for 4th times in his lifetime?)

Seems to me you're doing fine. I know what you mean though. There are times when I feel like the Prince of Typos. All I can really suggest is keep practicing, and maybe find another person to help you with proofreading?

Tried to sensibly and gently tell a girl its over.
Ended with her saying "fuck off", slapping me, and storming off.
Damn i'm good

Comrade wrote:Tried to sensibly and gently tell a girl its over.
Ended with her saying "fuck off", slapping me, and storming off.
Damn i'm good

Should've got a sweatervest.

Potato wrote:

Comrade wrote:Tried to sensibly and gently tell a girl its over.
Ended with her saying "fuck off", slapping me, and storming off.
Damn i'm good

Should've got a sweatervest.

Abd strangle her with it.
Good idea tov!

Comrade wrote:

Potato wrote:

Comrade wrote:Tried to sensibly and gently tell a girl its over.
Ended with her saying "fuck off", slapping me, and storming off.
Damn i'm good

Should've got a sweatervest.

And strangle her with it.
Good idea tov!

Exactly. Because nobody should ever wear them.