So, when Lilly goes back to Scottland for the first time, her parents basically ask her to move over for good after the trimester ends, right? That means at the point where she gets into a relationship with Hisao, she already knows she will eventually leave the country. Yet, she more or less starts the relationship and on top of that goes as far as telling Hisao to never leave her. Why is she doing this? The story she tells Hisao about the crush she had on her tutor, also gives off the impression that she wouldn't give in to emotions, knowing that nothing could realy come out of the relationship. Even if she was emotional at the time and let her feelings get the better oh her, why doesn't she tell Hisao she'll leave until less than a week before she does? Actually, it wasn't even her. If it wasn't for Akira she probably would have just vanished and then called from Scottland it seems. Yet considering all of this Hisao blames everything on himself rather than asking her about why she did all this. I don't quite get how all of this fits together
Please don't get me wrong. I really enjoyed her path. However, with everything I know, that part seemed a bit inconsistent to me. Given how well-written the whole game is though, I assume I simply missed something important here, so I hoped someone could clarify this a little for me. Sorry if this was brought up before by the way. I am still pretty new to the forums and didn't read every question in the topic, let alone the entire forum, yet.
Well, probably partially as a result of her time in a strict all-girls school, Lilly interacts with the rest of the world through a carefully crafted, carefully measured and carefully choreographed lady persona who's always polite, always unflappable, always in control and who respectfully goes along with non-deaf authority figures without question. It's a role that she feels comfortable with most of the time, sometimes it restricts her but when that happens she usually still tries to keep it up as long as possible. (she's about as stubborn as Emi is) Since Lilly is so repressed and tries to keep her refined lady mask up even when she's under pressure, her emotions tend to spill out when things do reach critical point.
I kinda doubt Lilly's confession to Hisao was something she planned. But then she returned from Scotland with her parents' request on her mind and later at their summer home, Hisao gets a heart attack. That was probably extremely frightening for Lilly (since she couldn't see Hisao), but even then she had to force herself to remain calm and in control for Hanako's sake. (who was panicking) When Hisao recovers and she finds him alright, the relief causes her pressure valve to go over 9000 and all the bottled up emotions don't come leaking out, they come flooding out. She wasn't just emotional...her lady mask simply shattered to pieces and it took her some time to restructure it.
Lilly knew quite well she'd have to tell Hisao the truth eventually, but kept delaying it and kept repressing the anxiety she felt over it. When Kenji accidentally trips her, her facade goes down again along with her for a moment, but she runs off and regains her composure before Hisao can pry further. I guess it's a bit hypocritical for someone who values honesty so much in others to hold this back, but keep in mind that Lilly's a person who's used to choreographing herself before actually speaking or acting, so it's not a stretch to imagine that she'd refrain from telling Hisao until she found the proper words to tell him...only to find herself lost on the proper words no matter how much she mulled over it...especially since she was the one who confessed in an uncontrolled outburst.
What Hisao blames himself for is that it WAS getting obvious that Lilly was bothered by something and he knew Lilly long enough to know that, since Lilly was so good at keeping a smiling poker face, even a single slipup like with Kenji meant things were probably boiling over on the inside. Despite that, he didn't pry...most likely partially due to the fact he was so used to Lilly always being in control and HER being a pillar of support for HIM. He simple couldn't switch gears until it was too late. This is also kind of Lilly's fault, she has a natural tendency to mother those close to her and create that kind of pattern with them. And despite being extremely comfortable asking for help regarding any difficulty related to her blindness, she's completely not used to relying on others for emotional support.
Anyway, Hisao finally manages to get Lilly to stay by tearing down her rational, logical and measured lady role once more by doing what worked before...having a heart attack.
