Hanako's Broken Heart Club

[Auratus]

Happy New Year, everyone. I'm back! (for now at least.)

I suppose to post here again more than once but laziness get better of me. It's time to catch up with some here and start white-knighting people on Internet. Yay!
(Now charrge!)

BTW, What's wrong with Velitation?

[OtakuNinja]

I've also been in a situation when the girl was just being friendly, which I understood perfectly clear, but she later thought she's been too friendly and almost canceled our friendship (despite nothing happening)...

Quoted from a discussion in the blooper reel. I just wanted to say that this was the former "depressed girl" that I've written about in this thread. Funny fact: the same thing happened again, about an hour ago, but 10 times "worse"... Meaning that both were in on it, but the friendship wasn't damaged. That's how much it has improved since 6 months ago. We just agreed that we'd both been too friendly with each other today, and that we should just remain friends until our feelings change.

[OtakuNinja]

"Depressed girl" sometimes thinks I'm creepy for being friendly and helping her... She's "in love" with a 40-year old, married man. Worst part is; he's making moves on her and she doesn't see anything wrong with it. Help? :c

[Guest Poster]

"Depressed girl" may have a twisted version of the Emi syndrome. Is afraid of intimacy, but instead of going after available guys and then stonewalling them, she goes after unavailable guys because it allows her to feel validated without the threat of someone actually getting too close to her. Emotionally distant guys, guys who are already in a relationship or guys who are preoccupied with their own mental issues/addictions tend to invoke an inexplainable attraction. If said 40-year old, married man actually broke up with his wife to be with her, she might actually get uncomfortable and stonewall/ditch him.

Not much help, huh? Sorry, can't offer any. But if she has a pattern of disfunctional relationships or is strictly attracted to guys who are unavailable in some way or another and you're carrying a torch for her...be careful what you wish for. You may end up in a real-life Emi relationship with no Misha around to get you a good end.

[OtakuNinja]

Well, I don't wish for a relationship with her no more, I just want our friendship to survive. And as her friend, I'm worried about her, though I try my best not to be a WK. This is the first time she's ever been "interested" in someone, and I was actually supporting her until I learned of this today. It casts light on some of the things I know they've done together, and I must say that it's pretty bad. I'll quote one of the things she said to me a while ago; "I was feeling down for no particular reason, but then I met him again. He hugged me tight, touched me, and everything felt so much better." This happened in a period when she didn't even tell her closest friends about what was going on. She even denied feeling down when I asked a couple of weeks after the incident (I've probably already written about it in this thread).

If said 40-year old, married man actually broke up with his wife to be with her, she might actually get uncomfortable and stonewall/ditch him.

Probably not, since she's very weak when it comes to resisting people. Especially if it's someone she enjoys the company of. An example of this is when we'd only started being friends (I didn't know about this at the time), and I made her stay up the entire night and take a long walk with me in the forest, despite her finally feeling tired after having trouble to sleep for almost a week. The same night/morning she was supposed to catch a train to go see her sister in another part of the country, but she fell asleep as soon as I left her and didn't make it in time.

I know I sound like a WK when I say this, but in a way, someone has to take care of her, lest she'll be forced to do many things she doesn't want to.

[Guest Poster]

"I was feeling down for no particular reason, but then I met him again. He hugged me tight, touched me, and everything felt so much better."

I can believe that. A guy who's vowed to stay faithful to one particular woman (who isn't her) broke that vow just for her. Placed her above the woman he promised eternal faith to. That's probably quite a confidence boost.

I know I sound like a WK when I say this, but in a way, someone has to take care of her, lest she'll be forced to do many things she doesn't want to.

Yes, you kind of do, though I won't judge too harshly. If you're attached to someone, it's not easy to just sit by and watch them willfully step on rakes all the time. But in the end, if she has difficulty saying no like you said, nothing you can do will stop her from eventually doing something she doesn't want to unless you're watching her 24/7. (and if you are, she'll probably think you're creepy)

The way you describe her sounds like you describe a child. Unless she really is a child (in which case the 40-year old married guy should be reported to the police), her own well-being is still her own responsibility and noone else's. Sometimes people have to really shoot themselves in foot before realizing they need to make a change in their life. Trying to protect her from herself will merely delay the inevitable and you'll feel worse because she messed up despite your best efforts.

That said, it doesn't hurt to remind her that an affair (especially with a married guy) is often more trouble than it's worth and she'd do well to find out the guy's intentions. But don't bother trying to protect her. It's a losing battle.

[bhtooefr]

There's a point where you have to cut your losses with even the most loyal friends, when they keep fucking up.

Sounds like this is getting close to that point.

[OtakuNinja]

She's can be very childish sometimes... Thanks guys, I'll try my best. I just hope she'll realize what's best for her before it's too late.

[Potato]

She's can be very childish sometimes... Thanks guys, I'll try my best. I just hope she'll realize what's best for her before it's too late.

If she doesn't, cut your losses. There's nothing to gain from a lost cause and a whole lot to lose...Sad but true. And good luck.

[NintendoOrBust]

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[NintendoOrBust]

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[NintendoOrBust]

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[Potato]

I still cannot grasp why people insist on attaching aliases to the people in their stories, as if anyone will ever know...

But at any rate, Ninten, welcome to KS and be careful at the library. You might meet a Yuuko instead.

[Steinherz]

But at any rate, Ninten, welcome to KS and be careful at the library. You might meet a Yuuko instead.

I myself cannot find why this would be a bad thing.

[NintendoOrBust]

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