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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club
Posted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 3:19 pm
by Sleeve
Well first of all I've got to say...
Xanatos wrote:SemisoftCheese wrote:I'm all ears.
In that case, I'd skip this relationship business and seek some major cosmetic surgery. I've never seen a guy made of ears but it can't be too pretty.
.. that almost made me choke.
But seriously, I have been on both sides of this kind of situation.
You seem to have come to the same conclusion I would have, you two will be happier afterwards and your friend will be after a couple of weeks/days/minutes (I find it amusing how people deal with this stuff so differently).
The whole 'stealing' concept is so utterly ridiculous, you know how I felt after my girl was 'stolen'? Happy, and I am truly not just saying that.
In my experience it is very clear to both parties when a relationship isn't working, and it's emotionally tiring.
So when she broke up with me to be with a guy she has a better frequency with it seemed like a pure Win/Win to me. They've been happy together for over a year now.
Alternatively she could have not pursued that guy, stuck with me for a couple more weeks and possibly not had that healthy relationship.
If anything I'm annoyed that she thought I couldn't take the news, she delayed telling me for a while. Her reaction was pretty funny when I replied with a smile and "Best of luck."
The whole point of dating, in my view, is so people can do this kind of thing. Its meant to be about finding someone you could spend the rest of your life with.
People waste so much time dancing around social constructs based on films and TV, particularly when they are young (like me) and this is the only experience they have.
Fiction tends to be needlessly jerky to create conflict, as conflict drives story. When this is all people have to draw on its no wonder we get drama, people rarely discuss this stuff with their parents.
This also applies to non-romantic relationships; I think we all have a well-meaning friend who gets ragefull and burns bridges purely out of not knowing what to do.
Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club
Posted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 3:42 pm
by pandaphil
Feeling a lot better than I was the other day, when I could barely function and was crying every half hour or so. I'm wondering if it was an interaction between my heart meds, and herb tea I'd been drinking. I was looking for French Vanilla and bought this stuff instead.
Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club
Posted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 7:58 pm
by Velitation
SemisoftCheese wrote:Once again, thank you all for your replies. If you've got anything more to say I'm all ears.
I hope you are okay with your decision and things work out. The only thing close to that experience was being invited to be a, well, FWB, and I couldn't do that because there was not going to be separation of feelings. Safe to say, it got awkward and we were both mutual friends with a fair amount of people. Things got bad for a while. Ah well, its behind me now.
pandaphil wrote:Feeling a lot better than I was the other day, when I could barely function and was crying every half hour or so. I'm wondering if it was an interaction between my heart meds, and herb tea I'd been drinking. I was looking for French Vanilla and bought this stuff instead.
Keep strong.
Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club
Posted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 8:39 pm
by YZQ
pandaphil wrote:Feeling a lot better than I was the other day, when I could barely function and was crying every half hour or so. I'm wondering if it was an interaction between my heart meds, and herb tea I'd been drinking. I was looking for French Vanilla and bought this stuff instead.
If you're on meds, maybe you want to check with your doc to see if the tea can be mixed with them.
Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club
Posted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 9:04 pm
by pandaphil
YZQ wrote:pandaphil wrote:Feeling a lot better than I was the other day, when I could barely function and was crying every half hour or so. I'm wondering if it was an interaction between my heart meds, and herb tea I'd been drinking. I was looking for French Vanilla and bought this stuff instead.
If you're on meds, maybe you want to check with your doc to see if the tea can be mixed with them.
Yeah, I'll do that from now on. According to several friends on FB, the Hawthorn in the tea can cause some nasty side effects when mixed with my heart meds.
From now on, I'm sticking with plain old black tea. I never want to go emotional white-water rafting like that again.
Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club
Posted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 9:10 pm
by YZQ
Ah, chemicals and how they affect the brain. Gotta love that sometimes.
Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club
Posted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 9:27 pm
by Xanatos
pandaphil wrote:YZQ wrote:pandaphil wrote:Feeling a lot better than I was the other day, when I could barely function and was crying every half hour or so. I'm wondering if it was an interaction between my heart meds, and herb tea I'd been drinking. I was looking for French Vanilla and bought this stuff instead.
If you're on meds, maybe you want to check with your doc to see if the tea can be mixed with them.
Yeah, I'll do that from now on. According to several friends on FB, the Hawthorn in the tea can cause some nasty side effects when mixed with my heart meds.
From now on, I'm sticking with plain old black tea. I never want to go emotional white-water rafting like that again.
Or just avoid Hawthorn.
Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club
Posted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 9:44 pm
by YZQ
There could be more stuff which he shouldn't take in due to the meds. Still best to check.
Meanwhile, seems more and more likely that I don't have another date with that lady.
Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club
Posted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 9:58 pm
by pandaphil
Yep. I guess no more Lipton Cup-o-Hawthorn for me...
Jeez, I never knew people drank the stuff. I thought you nailed it to your door to keep witches away.
YZQ wrote:There could be more stuff which he shouldn't take in due to the meds. Still best to check.
Meanwhile, seems more and more likely that I don't have another date with that lady.
Aww, I'm sorry to hear that YZQ man.
Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club
Posted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 10:07 pm
by YZQ
It's nothing, really. At least, I'm living the way that I'm used to, and that is not a bad thing. Finished up the Heart of the Swarm campaign, and back into WoW, playing death knights in different manners. Note to self: Never do the Blackrock dungeons if you're short of time. Also, DK tanking DOES start at lvl 60 now, as my buddy pointed out to me.
Maybe, just maybe, I should pay some talented fellow to paint/draw the KS girls as Knights of the Ebon Hold.
Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club
Posted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 10:14 pm
by Steinherz
YZQ wrote:It's nothing, really. At least, I'm living the way that I'm used to, and that is not a bad thing. Finished up the Heart of the Swarm campaign, and back into WoW, playing death knights in different manners. Note to self: Never do the Blackrock dungeons if you're short of time. Also, DK tanking DOES start at lvl 60 now, as my buddy pointed out to me.
Maybe, just maybe, I should pay some talented fellow to paint/draw the KS girls as Knights of the Ebon Hold.
Did it ever not?
I started playing in Wrath and I couldn't tank worth shit until level 60. And trust me, I've tanked every which way possible on Death Knights (this was before Blood became the proper tank spec)
Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club
Posted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 10:49 pm
by YZQ
Not least because DnD is at lvl 60. You MUST have an AoE spell to be an effective tank.
I actually tried grinding as a means of leveling for WoW. In the process, I discovered just how much damage Blood Boil does, even before the diseases. My main DK went questing all the way and did dungeons only at top level (85/90). So, I'm doing dungeons off the bat for a change.
Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club
Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 1:07 am
by Shironeko
My life has improved since then, but here's my story.
I used to struggle with severe depression. I had very few friends, I felt there was no hope in the future, and most of my time was spent isolated in my room. This was mainly due to the fact that I simply didn't know how to interact with people and I found socializing terrifying. My depression was bad enough that I even held a gun to my head a few times, but every time I did I thought about how my family would react to my death and ended up putting it down.
Every once in a while someone would manage to get close to me, then they'd introduce me to their group of friends and I would feel a little less lonely for a while. However my depression wasn't something I could simply hide and when my friends found out just how bad my depression was, they were always driven away. They thought I had "issues" and didn't want anything to do with me, so I lost any and all friends I had somehow managed to make despite my social awkwardness.
I'm legitimately happy most of the time now and I'd say I'm even good at talking to people, but admittedly I have trust issues. I know I shouldn't think that way, but I tend to feel like the people I care about are saying bad things about me and as I grow more attached to them, the fear of betrayal just grows. Because of that I try to keep a distance from most.
Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club
Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 1:51 am
by Ilithandie
Okay so I am normally a very closed person. I enjoy acting so wearing "masks" is just second nature to me. Unfortunately I hate myself for that. I feel fake all the time. I also don't feel alive. I should clarify that I don't think I have really been alive for years now. I am sure that I have chronic depression, and I guess it is coming up to that point again. I am not going to do anything really crazy have been dealing with it for 10-15 years now. just feel frustrated alone and isolated. I have friends that try to help, and I am grateful for having them I just ... I don't know. even with my family around I feel alone. I cannot drop my masks with them due to reasons ... got I hate this. just typing and hoping that something coherent comes from it. I just want to be me but I don't think I can. I am a single father with a deadbeat ex. My family states that they are there for me unless I want to actually leave the house and meet people. I am not even allowed to have a babysitter in the house. I hate my life because if I don't keep on the mask that I am a good little boy that will listen I feel like my mother will push the issue and try to take custody of my little girl from me. I am always scared and alone now. I just really want to leave the house and have a bit of my life. I know that my little one will always come first, but I do also need to live right? I am moving out soon and leaving my little one with my mother. I hate it because I have no idea what will come from it but I cannot se another way around it.
I still haven't gotten over the girl I liked in highschool. no chance of anything ever coming from it. I know I should move on but I just cannot. I don't know why I just cant. I guess I just want to be like Rin. I just want to be me. Guess I need to find out who that is first. So much other crap but I just cannot bring myself to continue, bed beckons for oblivion. salvation from though for a bit. sorry for dumping like this. I don't even know if this is how I really feel. and I guess that is the part that really scares me.
Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club
Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 7:41 am
by win746
Shironeko wrote:My life has improved since then, but here's my story.
I used to struggle with severe depression. I had very few friends, I felt there was no hope in the future, and most of my time was spent isolated in my room. This was mainly due to the fact that I simply didn't know how to interact with people and I found socializing terrifying. My depression was bad enough that I even held a gun to my head a few times, but every time I did I thought about how my family would react to my death and ended up putting it down.
Every once in a while someone would manage to get close to me, then they'd introduce me to their group of friends and I would feel a little less lonely for a while. However my depression wasn't something I could simply hide and when my friends found out just how bad my depression was, they were always driven away. They thought I had "issues" and didn't want anything to do with me, so I lost any and all friends I had somehow managed to make despite my social awkwardness.
I'm legitimately happy most of the time now and I'd say I'm even good at talking to people, but admittedly I have trust issues. I know I shouldn't think that way, but I tend to feel like the people I care about are saying bad things about me and as I grow more attached to them, the fear of betrayal just grows. Because of that I try to keep a distance from most.
Suicide is never the answer, that was right of you to put it down. As for the friends who just leaves you after knowing your depression, that's partly wrong of them to do that. Real friends should stick by each other no matter what, but then again, its a two way thing. Not to sound harsh but I think that you're showing your depression too much then, I think its just people tend to not want any "drama" or problems from friends. It possibly won't get any better, but you will. In fact you did, like you said. You can talk to people fine now like you said.
However for the trust issues, admittedly I think I feel the same way. The thing is, people will always talk and judge about each other, if you can form opinions of someone then they can to. If they're not your friends, just ignore them. In fact, show them they're wrong talking about you. As for friends, I think they will think about it but it won't matter to them, you're still their friend. I'm pretty sure they won't spend so much time with you if their affection to you is the same as yours to them.