Dear Hanako - OC x Hanako - Updated 05/10/14

[YutoTheOrc]

I'll fix all the errors you mentioned, and I appreciate your help. Thanks!

Glad to be of help! Keep it up, beat Hisao at his own game(literally!)

[Yoyofatboy]

Well, out of all the excuses I could throw out there for being fashionably late in the next update of this fanfic, I chose none. Hope the wait was worth it.~

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Act 2 - Part 1: Two Can Play

Patient Transcript: Gage Anderson

"Gage, why do you think you're like this?"

"I don't know."

"Do you hate yourself?"

Long pause. "No."

"And why is that?"

No comment.



Why don't I hate myself? All the people the therapists tend to with my condition hate themselves. Why don't I hate myself? For a while I thought I did hate myself. Why don't I hate myself? Do I hate myself?

I don't hate myself. I like who I am. The problem isn't that I hate myself- I like my average looks, my wittiness, my largely above normal self-awareness, my ability to analyze human interactions, my ability to blend in, my awkwardness, my failing senses, my daily habits- the problem is everything around me. Humans are stupid. They do stupid things. They're weak. So many problems are based solely on the fact that you know people. If you have friends, they'll depend on you to do things, to behave a certain way around them, and worst of all, attend birthday parties. I hate birthdays. People gather around for the pointless task of telling a bare acquaintance two words. But Gage, it's not only about the one person who's birthday it is, it's about coming together and enjoying yourself. Well, what if you don't enjoy yourself? What if being around people drives you insane? And, what if there's no one there to "come together" with? Pointless.



People say a life like mine would be lonely. It damn sure is.
No friends, parents miles away, little-to-no social interaction between the students, and I don't think I've spoken more than a full sentence in over a year. After a while, your thoughts become all the communication you need. That, and the online games I play on my computer. Sometimes, I imagine myself living in some of those games. Life is so easy in there. And not to mention.. fun.

If you want more fun in your life, just make it happen! Go out and do stuff! Thanks various meetings with my parents, but that doesn't help. Part of me wants a quiet, peaceful, normal life, and another part of me wants a fun, wild life, just like in games. Then another part of me wonders how the heck would I be able to live a outgoing life, if I can't even speak normally around anyone anymore, and I hate going outside. Three parts of me. 'Bet you don't see that normally. Score another one for me. That's like 467 now, right?



I didn't sleep much last night. It's not like I ever really do, but recently I've been able to sleep more often because of my new meds, the same ones that assisted in the panic attack on my first day. Yay medicine. In all honesty, I don't really know why I'm still taking medicine like this. It doesn't affect my thought process all that much, and the side effects are more prominent than the actual purpose of the medicine. I tried telling the school's nurse about this, but he just recommended increasing the dosage. I'm not too comfortable with that idea, and I still don't know how qualified he is. Actually, it might not be to bad if I overdosed right here...

No. I can't do that. Why not? It'd be so easy. All your problems would vanish before your eyes. I can't do that. A while back, I made a promise to myself. A promise, that I'm forcing myself to keep.

I shall force myself to live until I'm twenty-five.

It used be thirty, but I slowly dwindled it down to a more... More reasonable age.

A rare occurrence happened just now. I awoke, and wasn't instantly drawn to log onto my computer. Instead, I'm standing in front of my closet's mirror, analyzing myself.

Blond hair. Dirty-blond short hair with my signature strand sticking up in the back of my head. I never could figure out why it happens to stay up after all this time, nor did I ever try to flatten it. It kinda suits me. I like it. Though I'm not particularly fond of the color, everyone thinks it makes me look like a wannabe thug or something, even though it's normal in America, or even, everywhere besides here.

My odd looking face. Another one of my prominent features, my relaxed face. My mom and my younger sister say I have a dead look on my face all the time. I haven't looked into it much, but I can see it. My eyes partially squinted, mouth at a slight frown, I'd make a pretty good zombie.

Eh, nothing has changed about me since I was born. Always the same.

I open the door to my closet to look for something to wear today. I'm not sure if wearing our personal clothes to this festival would be okay.. I'll just settle on my usual look: uniform pants, uniform collared shirt. I never have worn the jacket they provided, and I don't know how the people who do wear it, wear it in this heat.

I make sure to take my morning dose of medicine, taking a little extra than usual. 'Hope that nurse knows what he's doing.

Before leaving, I turn to glance at the clock. Eight thirty. Not too early, not too late.



Schools during festivals are odd sights. Uncomfortable, too. The students at the stands have nothing better to do this early than to stare down the few people out this early to try and get them to buy whatever their stand is selling. I try to avoid the main pathway of stalls, just trying to find something small where I can buy something for my first meal.

Upon one trip around the main area, I set my destination to a small noodle stall, just outside the main walkway. And, this stall just so happens to be the stall run by the blind class. Nice work, Gageyboy. That's another point, by the way.

I slowly make my way up to the stall, preparing myself for the conversation that lies ahead. The person who will probably be the target of my words is a girl. A pretty one, too. Then again, my perception of the word "pretty" is very lenient. In addition to her also owning a pelt of blond hair, she reminds me of my mother. She has that kind of "Hey, I'm probably a caretaker, so please refer to me as madam," look. Intimidating.

My time to think about what to say is cut short as she is the first one to speak up.

"Hello, how may I help you?"

Yo, that's pretty scary. Don't do that. I heard that blind people have really good sound detection skills, but I've never been one to witness it firsthand. I finish walking up to the stall, and remember that I didn't really decide on what to get. I wanted noodles but there's a lot of options on their menu. I just want plain 'ol noodles. What is all this bullcrap?

"Umm, Hello?"

I nearly jump at the sound of her voice interrupting my thoughts. That's annoying. Stop that too.

Unfortunately, she can't read minds, so I speak up.

"Uhm, s-sorry, I'll have a-a.."

I quickly scan the menu and pick the first thing that I recognize.

"Medium noodle bowl?"

Phew, it's hard talking to women. I guess I'm having that.

"Is that a question, or an answer?"

Oh god, she's one of these people. I hate when people use that line on me. It's not my fault that I'm unable to speak smoothly... Or maybe it is...

"Ahh, a-an answer? I mean, yes, an answer."

She giggles at my response. I'm a comedian. Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. No, all year? That giggle was actually super cute. Maybe she's not so intimidating after all...

"Alright, can I get a name to put that under?"

What is this? A high class tea shop? Maybe I could use a fake name, like in those action movies. Something cool, like... like... not Gage.

"Uhh, Gage."

God damnit. That would've been cool. Then again, I probably wouldn't have gotten away with it. I gotta work on that.

Maybe she thought that was a fake name, because she made a face like she was thinking hard about something. Ah, maybe I should tell her it's American...

No, bad idea, because then I'll have to tell my life story, and I'll have to speak a lot. I'll let her think what she wants.

"Gage, from 3-3?"

Okay you know how I said what she did earlier was creepy? This is like creepy, no, scary times a thousand. Maybe she's my stalker. I think I'd be okay with someone stalking me, especially this girl, but she's blind, so...
No wait, she knows me. Not many people know me, so she's probably important. Yeah.

"Y-yes.."

She straightens herself up, like she's in some type of proper establishment. You can stop that now, it's just me... She'll learn.

"Oh my, I'm glad I can finally meet you!"

If she's my stalker, she's not doing a very good job at it.

"Uhh, I-umm.. I.."

Social protocols, Gage, social protocols.

"Nice to meet you, too..?"

"Ah, perhaps I should explain myself. I'm Hanako's friend, Lilly."

She says that with a large smile. I think she expects me to know her. Hanako and I barely speak to each other, so why would I know her friends? Especially ones not from our class. I'll just pretend I know her.

"Ah.."

Well that wasn't very convincing. I'll have to work on my list of useable replies.

She tries to hold back a giggle when she continues the conversation.

"Hanako has told me about you. She's very fond of you."

...

What.

Hanako is... Fond of me?

She talks about me?

Wow, I'm pretty lucky Lilly's blind, or I probably would've died of embarrassment right here. I'm pretty good at hiding my true emotions, but man, I can't hold back this slight smile creeping up on my face.

What is this feeling? I'm not sure if I like this feel or not, but it sure beats how I usually feel. But seriously!? Hanako talks about me to her friend. Another tally on the board, Gageyboy. That's number five hundred-ish. Nice work.

Ah, there's still a person in front of me. I have to reply with something.

Actually, how do I reply to something like this? I don't think I've ever been put in a situation where I've been told that I'm liked by someone. Maybe I'm looking too deep into this.

"Oh, your noodles are ready. That'll be four hundred yen."

Good, she saved me. I'll remember this one day!!!

I pull out four one-hundred yen coins and hand them up to her. Wait, how will she know that I'm holding out money to her?

...

I slide the money onto the counter and reply with a slightly confident "Here."

It takes her a second to find where I slid the money, while her co-worker(also female) hands me my bowl of noodles, in a wooden bowl. So this probably means I'll have to come back up here to return the bowl. Yippee.

After exchanging "thank you" and "nice to meet you", I turn towards my seating arrangement- a tree off to the side of the courtyard. There's not many people around at the moment so it's my ideal spot to sit, eat, and relax...



People just always ruin things, don't they? I barely get to finish up my mediocre meal as people begin flooding in. This is where my festival ends.

Returning the bowl is a piece of cake when there are more people around- it's easy to blend in. Luckily, my skills are on par with the viewing standards of the people around, so I am able to slip out very easily.

With my choices being very limited on where to proceed with my day (and because of a large crowd near the dormitory), I head towards the library. During a culture festival, the gravitational pull of the library should be non-existent to normal students.



In fact, the presence of humans is non-existent in the area surround the library. Even Yuuko is missing in action. Heh, I have the library all to myself. It's a really nice feeling when you're alone. Nobody is there watching you, and nobody is there to care about you. Just how I like it.

I make my way over to the shelf, grab my usual "oops, I forgot my books in my room" book to read, and plop down in one of the two bean bags in the back corner. The one next to me is Hanako's, and this one is mine. Unofficially, of course, but it's the thought that counts.

I crack open the cover to embark on my journey to waste time, enveloped in the world of poetry. I don't necessarily like poetry, but it is very interesting to see how various poets view various things. The topic for reading today, in honor of my fabulous conversation with one of Hanako's friends, is romance. Romance is either a hit or miss for me: sometimes they're heartfelt and warming, and other times they are just cheesy and boring.

Ah... This poem is a pretty good one... I feel like I am there...

The splashing of the ocean hits the tips of my toes. The deep, dark blue sky glistens, lighting up the surrounding area, showcasing the sand, the ocean, and the horizon. I hear footsteps approaching behind me, and turn to discover who it is- Hanako, in a white and purple highlighted sun-dress. Her beautiful half-smile makes my heart flutter as she makes her way even close to me. Her eyes lock with mine, she leans in close, then whispers into my ear-

"G-Gage?"

Wait, that was too real to be in the book. I slowly begin to look upwards when I realize-holy shit it's Hanako.

It only makes sense that she would come here as well, and I'm probably the one intruding on her getaway location. I kinda hoped this encounter would happen, but I didn't expect it to. I figured she'd be out with one of her friends or something, as apparently she has them. Good for her, I guess.

It takes me a minute to realize that she probably doesn't want to sit down next to me, since the bean bag things are relatively close to each other.

"H-hey there, Hanako..."

Ah, she's still standing there. I figured this would be the case, but I kinda wanted to wait it out and see if something would come out of this.

Being the gentleman I am (alol), I decide to begin leaving, to leave her to her peace.

"I uhh.. Sorry, I'll umm, I'll go-"

"N-no."

She stops me mid-stand with one small word. I look up at her eyes to try and decipher her expression, but she's looking down at the floor, adverting her eyes from me.

"I-I-I mean, I d-don't mind if you.."

Her voice trails off and I can tell that she doesn't really want to continue on the conversation.

Okay Gageyboy, commence social analyzation. Step one: what did she mean by "no"? Step two:

...

I don't know what step two is.

So she wants me to stay? Then stay I shall.

I slowly sit back down into the bag, which I appreciated greatly by the internal groans in my back from half-standing for longer than anticipated.

She looks over at me, seemingly like she wanted to confirm that I wasn't a murderer or rapist, then slowly finds her way down to the seat. What's with this outcome? Stuff like this doesn't- shouldn't happen to me. It's not like I'm not happy with this, it's just that I know that I'm going to screw something up. I always do.

Well, being completely honest, it's not that hard to get along with her like this. Just stay silent and keep to yourself. Oh, and don't make any sudden noises. I hate those.

Silence overcomes the library, and it returns to its usual state. I really hope nobody walks in on this scene, they'll probably get the wrong idea. Then again, what exactly is this? Friends just hanging out in the library? Acquaintances becoming friends? Or maybe, if my cards are played right, it'll turn into a full blown make-out session...



The peacefulness of an empty library, the light murmur of the outside crowds, and the glimmer of sunlight shining off the hardback books, all combine to set up the perfect afternoon. Oh, and add in a pretty girl at my side.

Hanako and I sat in silence for three hours, reading our selected books. I may have drifted off to sleep here and there, but who can blame me?

It's not until there's the sound of a door swinging open that we notice that there's still a world around us. The perpetrator is obviously not a library kind of guy, or he probably wouldn't have thrown open the door like that. Freaking noobs.

I look up from my paradise to get a grip of the situation, and what exactly is happening. The footsteps draw nearer towards us, and I can't help feel uncomfortable of the possible interaction that will follow the noticing of us sitting here.

Us. That's almost a new word to me. It's not very often that I've been around someone like this, let alone stayed longer than three minutes. Do I sense another set of points coming my way?

The criminal that destroyed our solitude rounds the corner and seemingly aims his sights upon us. It's a male, and looks someone like me, but he has that, "I'm a douchebag, I'm better than you" look. God dangit Hisao, go away, leave us alone.

Hisao's stride is broken whenever he notices me. Okay, asshole, I'm a human being as well. Even if it's just on the outside, I'm not that scary of a person... He probably expected Hanako to be all by her lonesome, just waiting for his rescue. Heh, typical clichéd antagonist. Just another reason to despise him. He attempts to play off his obvious discomfort of my presence by a slight nod of his head, possibly signifying the acceptance of my dominance. Approaching further, he waves his hand and speaks up.

"Hey guys."

Oh dear.

"H-H-Hisao!?"

Apparently Hanako didn't notice his arrival, and was slightly startled by his approach. Dang, I had higher expectations of your awareness, Hanako.

"Hey, Hisao.."

I just realized, he probably doesn't know my name yet. Not like I'd expect him to, as I'm not an overly attractive female capable of coitus.

"Uhh, I talked to Lilly at her stall, and she's really busy, so she asked me to check up on you, Hanako. How've you been?"

"Ah, umm, I-I'm fine. I've been h-here all day, so..."

It's true, we have been here the entire time. Err, maybe not mentally here, but physically, yes.

"Well do you want to go get something to eat from the stalls? Or maybe just go play some chess or something in the tea room?"

Ah, no it's cool, I didn't want to join you two anyway...

I'll take that as my cue to leave the conversation and continue on the readings of life.

"I-I... Umm.."

She looks over at me like I'd get mad that she didn't want to stay with me. Well, to be honest, I don't have much to offer. So, I don't really blame her. I just don't want her looking at me for answers or confirmation.

"S-sure."

She looks down at her book, seemingly torn on the inside.

"Cool. Ah, oh, uhh, G-Gage? Yea, Gage, do you want to join us.?"

Well he knows my name. Excellent, he'll know who's name to scream when I murder him-

"Ah, I umm, I..."

I? What, I? Do I actually want to go? It'll take a lot of effort, and putting up with annoyances like being in a group.

Well, like those cool kids say these days... Yolo.

"I-I guess, yea..."

I'm sure as hell that I'm going to regret this, as social outings, well, they're not really my thing.

And just like that, I agreed to be thrown outside my comfort zone and into the world of...normals.?

<Previous

[Mirage_GSM]

Well, it's been a few months since the last update, but if i hadn't been for that decidedly un-Japanese name, I wouldn't have recognized your character. He wasn't that much of an Emo-kid in the first chapters...

I pull out four one-hundred yen bills

I don't think he could fool even a blind person with those, since there are no 100-yen bills...

dark blue sky glistens, lighting up the surroundi the horizon. I hear footsteps approaching behind me, and turn to discover who it is- Hanako, ing area, showcasing the sand, the ocean, andn a white and purple highlighted sun-dress.

Some copy-pasta...

Except for the excessively morbid part at the beginning, this was an okay chapter.

[Yoyofatboy]

Well, it's been a few months since the last update, but if i hadn't been for that decidedly un-Japanese name, I wouldn't have recognized your character. He wasn't that much of an Emo-kid in the first chapters...

I don't really see him as an "emo" kid, more of a rather fed up, depressed loser? Meds have positive and negative side-effects on your body, and, in many cases, give worse thoughts than you actually had before. Combine this with pessimism and young age = this guy.

As a side note, "emo" is short for emotionally unstable, which does, indeed, describe Gage. (Technically speaking)

I don't think he could fool even a blind person with those, since there are no 100-yen bills...

Some copy-pasta...

Noted and fixed~

[YutoTheOrc]

My mom and my younger sister say I have a dead look on my face all the time.

Resting Bitch Face, Gage invented it first!

Interesting chapter, the fact that Hisao was painted as a "douchebag" was odd. Especially considering how he is effectively a science geek; and probably one of the nicest guys in Yamaku(I say). Oh no, YOLO....The return of my enemy!