What arc should i try next?

[megamanrulesall]

Maybe not the place for an intro post but whatever. Also, yay for me turning 27 today. ^_^

All I can say, is that this game has hit me like as though I was some small animal getting run over by a semi truck or something.

The order I did my playthrough as (By the way I beat the game 100% as of yesterday around 1pm.) as follows: Hanako, Lilly, Emi, Shizune & Rin.

I don't really know why I did that order. Maybe I did Hanako's ending first due to the aspects of er shyness and whatnot around other people. But, maybe I should give some background info about myself before I continue. Kinda like a life story type thingy and you can see maybe why I am having all these "odd" feelings.

For one, you can say that I am lucky to even be alive, as my biological parents were rather reckless and whatnot while I was..... being developed? But anyways, I was born almost 2 months prematurely and nearly died. I would have had a twin sibling (Gender unknown) but it died at birth. I myself was apparently placed in one of those incubator things. I pulled through. At age 2, I was removed from my biological parents home due to what apparently was a spiral fracture of my right arm. Age 2-6, I was in a foster home, where I remember getting my hair pulled for some time. As well as a form of a fragment memory it could be called, where I was inside a crib and found these curtain hook and managed to drill a hole in the wall with it so it also caused a circle around it due to the hooks design inbetween the gaps of the crib I was in.

At the age of 6, I was adopted by my parents. I call them that as they are the ones who have raised me into who I am today. Blood has nothing to do with it at all, nor should it. I got to even change my name as well, which I did.

All my school life was pretty much pure torture due to the fact I was "Different", yet the doctors and psychiatrists all weren't too sure what was "wrong with me". Always being the one being bullied, I would more times then not end up returning home crying due to all that I endured and the fact it felt as if I had no friends.

Jr High was an extremely stressful time. It seemed that my Motor Tics (Due to having Tourettes Syndrome) would make others make fun of me, perhaps due to seeing something so "weird" that they had no idea how to respond to. My Tourettes were really bad. Was it due to the stress of the teasing, something else, I don't think I'll ever know. Sometimes it would look as though I were trying to twist my head off with one arm, or the sudden jerking of my neck forward was how it manifested. At least now, they seem to manifest in a way that is almost like muscle spasms in my neck that needs to be stretched out.

I was later Diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome which is supposed to be a form of High Performing Autism or something. I don't pay too much attention to such "Labels". Yes, some of the way I think and knowledge intake depending on the subject were very high, other times, learning other things could be slow at times, and social skills were one thing that was low for me. Granted, sometimes I think it also due to the fact of the whole teasing and whatnot.

In high school, I would do all sorts of stupid things to be "cool" in the eyes of those who would tease me. Many times, usually involving looking up porn on school computers. ^_^; For me it was like, doing whatever was nessisary so as to not feel the pain of their insults, even for the briefest of moments.

Anywho, moving a few years down the line to almost the present, minus 3 months or so roughly, maybe a bit more. But about 2 years ago, when working, I would notice odd things involving my neck to happen. A lot of times I would tell my mom about em and she would blow it off like it was nothing. Eventually, I found a job place or more specifically, a "Training Center" as it is labeled, which caters to people with disabilities. It is like being in a big werehouse where one assembles things like supermarket cardboard displays, or other things that can be done easily as it is repetitive work. But I didn't really notice the issues of my neck, or rather they didn't become alarmingly pronounced until a few months ago. There would be days where my legs felt like they suddenly turned to jello as if they could barely support my weight. I had started this job as in being promoted to working in a business outside the training center which meant more $$$ & responsibility. I also started it soon after I moved into my 1st apartment (which by the way is the perfect place for me due to everything around, but you can PM me if you want to hear about it or something).

The aspects of my neck seemed to progress faster & faster until one morning, I woke up and my body felt like lead. My mom, despite all my complaints simply told me that "You can't be complaining about this kind of stuff, you just got this job, what would they think?" It really kinda pissed me off. She didn't know what I was going through, nor how much I already endured without telling her due to knowing that telling her was pretty much useless. But that morning, I barely even managed to take a shower/bath and after that, it was like I had to practically crawl out of the tub and pretty much over to my bed due to my body feeling so heavy. It pissed me off thinking or wondering how weak I must have been. Moreso when after calling the place from work, them telling me that maybe it best I not go to work and focus on getting better.

The one thing that made me feel awesome and feel like I was doing something worthwhile, taken away like that. We saw a bunch of doctors, had a bunch of tests, one which was kinda O_o with aspects of sticking needles that go to your nerves and they give you a shock. The smell of burnt flesh. >_< Not a good smell.

Basically, I eventually saw a Neurosurgeon and he told me that apparently I had some sort of Congenital (Something from birth), where the gap that exists between the spinal cord and the vertebrae (bone) was shrinking and that it had gotten to the point of there being almost no freedom. Somewhere around October 28th-maybe november 3rd (I can't remember) I went in for neck surgery. I went through it well. My dad said he was shocked and proud/amazed at how I was dealing with it what with it being my first surgery ever and how he thought it would have been harder on me.

The thing to realize, with my mindset now, is that I pretty much after my school life, realized it was pointless to dwell in the past or allow negative stuff to phaz me as it served no constuctive purpose. Maybe for some, some aspect of negativity can be a push into something positive, but I wouldn't know.

Anywho, I do remember that around the 2nd night, when they were taking me off of the Morphine, that apparently I was supposed to ask for pain meds or something, instead of the nurse popping in and asking me how I was. That night, I asked my mom (Who stayed the whole time in the hospital with me) to help me to the bathroom (as those pain things seem to cause constipation & they want you to "go" before you leave.

Let's just say the instant I tried and somehow sat down, the pain I felt out of a one to 10 scale shot up to like, freaking 20. At that instant I started crying due to the crazy pain I felt. The thing is, is that I am about if not 6 feet tall. Toilets are a lot easier to sit on the shorter you are. Shorter legs = less bending and stuff. The doctors had worked on four levels of vertebrae in my neck by the way. A Laminoplasty I think it was called, for all four, so as to preserve range of movement. But anywho, after all that, they would have me walk which they were blown away with how easy and soon I was able to do it all. The month of november, minus maybe, 3 days, I was at my parents place. Recovery was hard, but eventually, day by day, things got better to where I was allowed to go back to my apartment.

I saw the Neurologist yesterday (Friday Jan 6) and he said I will be able to go back to work beginning of February. I do have one hell of a scar on the back of my neck. It goes from the base of my skull to near that bump of the area near the shoulderblades & neck. My dad (who has had lots of surgeries, back and even a neck one where they did fusion) jokingly said "You call tell the ladies you got it in the Battle of Temple City." It made me laugh.

But, that is enough of my story. Back to the subject of the game. Maybe you can see why this game had such a massive impact on me. It made me wonder, what if instead of the school life I was in, if there was a place like Yamaku High School. Maybe things could have been different and heck, maybe I could have had more friends and etc.

I played Rin's path last. Don't really know why. Something about her personality just seemed like really compatible to mine or something. Hell, I think I even had some form of dream last night (Which for me, dreams are like doing a Lotto scratcher and winning and small bit of $$$). All I know is at some point it revolved around Rin. Of course, then my half asleep brain got to thinking, what if somehow, like, the characters of the game were real and most of them lived in my apartment complex. Pretty much instead of individual rooms, it was like, the "teams" that they live in. Maybe team is the wrong word. But maybe pairs is better. Talk about a silly idea.

All I know is that through playing this and even after, my chest does feel rather odd. My dad even mentioned the bottom number of the blood pressure test I had was high yesterday Something roughly like 140/92 or something close like that.

But yes, I can see maybe why others may feel like holding off for a while. This game, whether or not you have what society would label as a "Disability" even if it may not be all that disabling to you, it can make you feel things. Maybe due to my life and all the stuff I had to endure it hit me harder then it might for most people. I don't remember how many times I cried though the various character arcs.

For me, despite all the crap I have endured in my life, I am the type that is the one that would help a person, even if afterwards they stabbed me in the back. It's like, I don't want anyone to have to suffer the way I did and playing this game on some of the paths really made me feel as though I were the one failing to help them out. All I will say, is that with Rin's path, it was so confuzing. I wasn't even sure if I was on the path of "Doing good" or "failing miserably". I don't really know how to put the feeling into words. It's almost as though the universes of what people in this realm label as "fiction" or "fantasy" are more real to me then the reality in front of my face, if that makes any sense at all. Then again, I tend to think that all these are simply universes that we may be be onnected to on a physical level, however some of the people who help "create" the realm, may have something like a mental/psychic/whatever connection to these other realms or plains of reality or something. That is why I think that many times, things of fiction & fantasy can affect us more then what is around us due to that.... detached feeling or sense? Not sure if I am wording things properly. It can indeed be hard to find the words to something that may not have words. I sometimes wonder if that is why I felt kinda close to Rin in some ways. As if maybe our thinking processes are different and so unique from the world around us.

It is odd though, now that I have typed this all out and "gotten it off my chest" I feel a lot better now. I do admit, part of me still wonders if I will be able to do the work I was doing. Part of me worries whether those same things will flare up or not despite the surgery. But, maybe I am shooting myself down before getting a change to get into the air. ^_^;

Anywho, if you managed to read all of this what is maybe a longwinded reply, then you have my thanks. I am also always open to talking to others if they have questions, be it about the things I endured or my "Disabilities" and etc. So if you wish to contact me, please do not hesitate.

Thanks for listening/reading.

[Kisho]

This may sound odd, but judging by posts on this forum it seems to be a fairly widespread feeling, so here goes.

It seems that whichever girl you go for first, is the one you feel is the 'true' end. People have been saying it of most of the girls, from what I can tell. They go for one of the girls, then when they go do a different path they feel like they're 'cheating' on the first girl.

I felt it somewhat with Lilly's path. Everytime Lilly popped up I felt far more attached to her than the girl who's story I'm doing at that moment in time. And when I was forced to side with Shizune in order to get her path during Act 1, and when Lilly gave Hisao the evil stare... Ouch. Just, ow.

I felt it with Lilly. Others felt it with Rin, or Hanako, or Shizune. Dunno about Emi, haven't done her path yet and am avoiding Emi threads atm, but I'd imagine it's the same there too.

So yeah, to bring it back to the OP's point... I can totally understand not wanting to play the game again after getting a certain ending. It feels like the 'true' end, and anything else is 'cheating'. This game is all about getting you to feel for the girls, so I'd say that if you feel this way then the game has been a success.

[alabaster]

I felt it with Lilly. Others felt it with Rin, or Hanako, or Shizune. Dunno about Emi, haven't done her path yet and am avoiding Emi threads atm, but I'd imagine it's the same there too.

Oh, it is. Emi's the only path I've done, so I've been following that thread, and at least a few of us are having trouble moving on. I was planning on doing Lilly second, but I can't bring myself to after going through everything with Emi. I feel like she and Hisao need each other, and taking a different path feels wrong, though I imagine I'd have that feeling for whichever girl I had ended up with first.

[ardiel]

Don't pretend to be Hisao. You can do way better than him (I hope!)

Personally I'm looking at it as a collection of short stories - I don't see myself as Hisao, because it seems that quite often he says and does things I would never, ever, do, and I think that is only partly due to me being female. >.>

I'll just say: We males hardly ever really understand you females and vice versa. That's life.

From what I saw Hisao as a male perspective, he did do things like your average male would do.. Sometimes even better (like as a small example things like gift buying and so on are quite hard for males).. However, Hisao is just the protagonist of the story, he has his own ways of doing things and his own views of life.. Not to mention that he was quite badly scarred by the fact how his old life suddenly got ripped away from him, so I'm sure that has played huge part on what kind of person he became for the story.

And while I think that Hisao overall is great guy and very easily likable.. I know that I would've done plenty of things differently in Hakano's case myself, considering if I would've even conquered my shyness to go talk to him to begin with, wouldn't have been first time in my life where I see some girl that I'm really interested of but never find courage to go talk to her..

However, like I tried to make a point here.. Don't try to think how you would've done things, just accept how Hisao sees and does things since he has his own and very different kind of circumstances to begin with.

Yeah. It's just painful some times because I've had some of the same stuff done to me that happens in this VN.

I don't hate Hisao or anything, and really in a lot of cases he's very believably written as his own character, so I don't have a problem in that regard... just some of it hits too close to home. I tend to catch mistakes before they happen and really I guess that's a tribute to good writing, actually, for it to be that convincing.

But yeah I don't dislike Hisao in spite of my ranting about him lately... I just think I place myself more in the female character's position than Hisao's. It's like I'm trying to make my love story and he's doing it wrong some times LOL.

[yuastnav]

Don't pretend to be Hisao. You can do way better than him (I hope!)

Personally I'm looking at it as a collection of short stories - I don't see myself as Hisao, because it seems that quite often he says and does things I would never, ever, do, and I think that is only partly due to me being female. >.>

I'll just say: We males hardly ever really understand you females and vice versa. That's life.

From what I saw Hisao as a male perspective, he did do things like your average male would do.. Sometimes even better (like as a small example things like gift buying and so on are quite hard for males).. However, Hisao is just the protagonist of the story, he has his own ways of doing things and his own views of life.. Not to mention that he was quite badly scarred by the fact how his old life suddenly got ripped away from him, so I'm sure that has played huge part on what kind of person he became for the story.

And while I think that Hisao overall is great guy and very easily likable.. I know that I would've done plenty of things differently in Hakano's case myself, considering if I would've even conquered my shyness to go talk to him to begin with, wouldn't have been first time in my life where I see some girl that I'm really interested of but never find courage to go talk to her..

However, like I tried to make a point here.. Don't try to think how you would've done things, just accept how Hisao sees and does things since he has his own and very different kind of circumstances to begin with.

Yeah. It's just painful some times because I've had some of the same stuff done to me that happens in this VN.

I don't hate Hisao or anything, and really in a lot of cases he's very believably written as his own character, so I don't have a problem in that regard... just some of it hits too close to home. I tend to catch mistakes before they happen and really I guess that's a tribute to good writing, actually, for it to be that convincing.

But yeah I don't dislike Hisao in spite of my ranting about him lately... I just think I place myself more in the female character's position than Hisao's. It's like I'm trying to make my love story and he's doing it wrong some times LOL.

Well, it is HIS story.
You, as the player, are also a bit more detached and have a better overview over the situation so it might be easier for you to come to conclusions.
Think about how you would react if you really were in such a situation.

[ardiel]

Well, it is HIS story.
You, as the player, are also a bit more detached and have a better overview over the situation so it might be easier for you to come to conclusions.
Think about how you would react if you really were in such a situation.

That's a good point and I do try to remember that.

Honestly though it's hard to think of how I would react because with me there's often no reacting in interpersonal relationships - I'm very much like Rin in that whatever is going on inside I can be blank on the outside so I can see a lot of things coming from that perspective, it's just hard to understand other perspectives. I mean, I know the other perspectives, they exist, and I can identify when they are happening, but I just don't know why.

I've learned to fake it a little bit at least, more than Rin had, but that takes some effort and preparation and I can't always pull it off so...

Anyway, this is a weird post I think.

[DarkElfWizard74]

The first and only ending I got was Hanako's good ending, two days ago and since then I haven't tried any other route, even tough I liked Lilly and Emi, I can't play this game anymore. *snip*

I know that feeling, bro. I liked Hanako best of all the girls in the Act 1 demo, therefore I FORCED myself to play her route last (old habit I got into when I first started playing VNs) & I sure am glad I did. I just finished Hanako's route last & I was blown away, milk-jugs full of manly tears were shed....

Try to keep playing the game, my friend; there are other routes just as good as Hanako's. But try to keep my old protip in mind: if it's not a linear game (a la Fate/stay night, Cross†Channel), play the route of the girl who most appeals to you LAST. It's very difficult & takes a ton of patience to do, but I've found it to be very rewarding in most of the VNs I've played in the past.

Here is the order in which I pursued the girls for any late-comers who haven't finished Act 1: Shizune, then Emi, Rin, Lilly, & Hanako last (the order in which I liked the girls in the Act 1demo, but reversed).

[Druqkz]

Thank you guys, it's nice to know I'm not the only one who felt so emotionally touched by the VN.

I'll follow the advice and I will take a break for a week or two, but I still think it will be hard for me to just restart the game and pretend that nothing happened between Hisao and Hanako.

In my heart I feel that I have finished the game, so if in two weeks I still can not follow any of the other four paths, I will not be sad, cause I know that I've found the ideal girl for me.

Some said that in Lilly's path, Hanako have a happy "ending", but I wouldn't end up really happy knowing that I wasn't close to Hanako , even though I liked Lilly...

Also, thanks to the producers of this VN for making such a wonderful character, it's like you picked the girl of my dreams and put it in a VN haha.

@megamanrulesall

Wow, your story is really quite sad, and it seems that the VN means more to you than the others.

You should feel proud of yourself, because even if you had so many difficulties in your life, you still had the determination and the courage to move on. Many people do not have it and they probably would have given up on life.

Also, I agree with you, sometimes fiction and fantasy can affect us much more than the "real life", this is due in part to the excellent work of the producers of this VN for example.

Um... err... go watch Hanako's bad ending. Seriously.

Never!

I know what happens in Hanako's bad ending. Thankfully, this wasn't my first ending, I do not know what would happen to me if it had been, haha...

[shin0bi272]

So here's my inaugural post... Not the best of posts but its about all I can really think about.

I just finished Hanako's good ending (accidentally got her bad ending first by trying to help too much I guess). It made me realize what a horrible worthless person Ive been most of my life.

See when I was 6 almost 7 my little brother poured lighter fluid on a charcoal grill (he was 2 almost 3) when my mom went inside to answer the phone (this was also before we had cordless phones). I was around the house playing in the sandbox and I heard him yelling. I ran over and saw him on fire and ran around the house to the hose and turned it on and ran back and put him, the grill, and my dads motorcycle out. He was burned over 50% of his body with 2nd and 3rd degree burns. He lived but his chest, arms and under his chin are still badly scarred to this day... he'll turn 30 this september 29th. I didnt really tease him about his scars and today he'll tell you he burned off one of his boobs heh. He and I constantly fought and I treated him like you would any little brother... well any little brother who spent the better part of a year in the hospital eating and getting fat so they... would have enough skin to do a skin graft with. His butt still has a huge rectangular scar on it ... not that I look at his butt or anything but I saw it when we were little and if the rest of his scars are there so is that one. He's getting married this year... march I think. Im not invited.

[encrypted12345]

You know only one other game actually made me deeply regret taking someone else's route after completing a heroine, and one was Yume Miru Kusuri. Not because I got emotionally invested in the heroines (which I did), but because they were screwed if you didn't pick them. Sure the main heroines occasionally dying in Fate Stay Night or Tsukihime were gut punches, but I accepted it as part of the narrative and did not really regret playing the actual route.

Katawa Shoujo is different. Maybe it's because the heroines actually are realistic. Maybe it because the plot of every route requires a ridiculously minute amount of Willing Suspension of Disbelief. It was a damn chore to go through every route. I like every heroine for a different reason (even Shizune who had the least good route.) Every time I had to go back to Act one, I had to abuse the ctrl button just to make it bearable. Not helping matters was me taking the Rin route second, but even after doing Shizune's route first, I still cringe at the sight of her. It will take me a while before I can bear to replay this game. It's just so good.

[Akira]

Um... err... go watch Hanako's bad ending. Seriously.

That one scared the heck out of me lol.

But yeah, I just finished Lilly's path earlier and Hanako gets quite a happy ending out of it, and it's hinted that she has a better future ahead of her too
Also it says I already completed 100% of Lilly's path even without her bad ending. Not sure how that works, but it saves some heartbreak later. (Though I'm still missing a couple of images that I suspect are from it, so maybe not... Have to play the bad ending, then the good ending again just to retcon it in my head, lol).

I think it'll be a few months before I dig back into it to get the missing bits though. Feel kind of emotionally drained after that rollercoaster ride.

By the way, whose idea was it to make Lilly and Akira half-Scottish?
I picked Akira as my forum name and avatar 'cos I thought she was cool, and I'm Scottish too. With coincidences like that, I think I'm gonna start playing the lottery again! lol

[~ J O K 3 R ~]

The first and only ending I got was Hanako's good ending, two days ago and since then I haven't tried any other route, even tough I liked Lilly and Emi, I can't play this game anymore.

I feel like if I did Lilly's route for example, I'd be cheating on Hanako, and just thinking about the fact that she would end up alone makes my heart shatter into a thousand pieces, It's like she was the main character and my "mission" was to be her boyfriend, the first time I saw her I felt something telling me "that girl is the perfect girl for you".

I have fallen in love with other characters in the past but with Hanako its different, its like real love , sometimes I forgot that I was playing as Hisao, it was as if I were there, face to face with Hanako, expressing my feelings to the girl I love.

I'm so glad that my first ending was Hanako's good ending, because I feel that the first ending is the "true" ending, I love shy girls and I hope someday I meet someone so lovely and wonderful as Hanako, no matter if she has a disability or not I will love her.

I know what you mean, I truly love Hanako, that's why I did her route first. Rookie mistake. Most would go for the least then work up to the one you truly want. But my curiosity was to strong and I went for Hanako's route.

I must say, I loved it! I wish there was more Q ~Q But sadly, it ended. I liked how it ended, but thoughts about what happen next made me not sleep. So now I'm currently doing Lily's route. Bad mistake, yet again. I too, felt like I was cheating on Hanako. Don't get me wrong, I like Lily, I really do, but Hanako is my favorite by far~!

Now, I'm just very skeptical on playing again, since I read around a few blogs and found out Lily and Emi got more H-scenes then Hanako. Which made me feel kinda mad, But needless to say, I enjoyed Hanako's route most.

[Rolanberry]

Haha its great to see that other people feel the same as I do!

I went through Hanako's rout first and then decided to go through Shizune's. Mostly because when the break down scean happens in Hanako's rout and Shizune was so helpful. I kind of though she was pushy up till then (though she still is) but that made me see her in a different light.

It felt odd. Hanako's rout effected me so deeply that going through the rout with Shizune it felt like I was just being 'her friend'. Thats not a bad thing but its also doing her a disservice. When Hanako would pop up I'd wish I could ask "how are you doing". It speaks volumes to how powerful this game can be.

[Madjack123]

I just can't look at rin without being reminded about how tear jerkingly beautiful her good ending and how traumatising her bad ending was. I'm trying to do shizune's path and just keep finding myself replaying rins best scenes. i cant help but feel the same way about rin that OP does about hanako...

[Iilija64]

Same here, Hanako is my faorite for years now. I belive i will put others on hold for some time. Remarkable game, feeling same like i finish Aeka's path from YMK.