Katawa Shoujo Forums

Erm, well then. I'm having a hard time deciding between this and this here...

The time skip here seems very disjointed. Even though the skip gets explained further on, it's still kind of confusing at first. This was an, let's call it "interesting(?)," direction to take this in... It kind of felt forced, really (probably intentional), in a "this wasn't completely necessary, but it's your writing and you'll write how you think it should go," kind of way.

Still interested in the rest of the story though, so I'll be keeping an eye out

EDIT: Just read the blurb on top of the chapter and that makes everything make just a bit more sense

First of all let me congratulate you on your improvement regarding grammar and tenses.
Regrettably the storytelling part went further down the drain.

"She hasn't been that comfortable around guys since then", Ikuno said talking normally "but it's different with you and she wanted you to know about the darker part of her life"...."Only me and you know",...

...

it hasn't even been a month since I met Suzu and I hardly know her.

The second part means the first part is extremely unlikely^^°

"Absolutely not, and for two reasons", I responded once a bit of logical thought returned "one, it's unlikely that I'd have a condom on me at the time, and two, my condition might stop me from even getting the deed done".

Really? That are his reasons? In other words provided the girl brought her own condoms and he called a doctor to verify that diabethes doesn't usually cause impotence he'd do it no matter who the girl was?

I could just get out of here to avoid this predicament I've been put in, but since there's a few days before we have to head back to Yamaku I didn't want the current harmony to be disrupted, so I stripped

This is the worst reasoning for having sex I've read so far in KS fanfictions and that's saying something.

"It might have hurt a lot more if I'd gone in slower", I said "I was considering how much pain you'd get, and it didn't look like it was that painful".

Oh, that's he considered at the time?

even though I'm not exactly a willing participant in all this.

Please remind me of the part where she is forcing or blackmailing him to do this.

"She did see us going at it, so it's only logical that you let her get in on the action"

Right. Logical. Completely logical. Inevitable, really. Fate. Kismet. Nothing else he could have done...[/sarcasm]

I did manage to avoid an unplanned kiss which would have pissed off Ikuno no end.

Why would a kiss annoy Ikuno at that point?

disposed the two condoms along with their wrappers in the bin and change the bedding since there are two noticeable blood stains on the sheets.

Not going to be very effective in his own house... Who's going to empty the bins and doing the laundry?

I just have to hope that my mother doesn't notice the blood stains when she does the laundry.

At least you thought about it, but still quite naive...

In general your characters all talk about their feelings with a clinical detachment that would make Mr. Spock proud.