I think ProfAllister pretty much nailed it with his treatise earlier in the thread (which I won't quote here because it's too long). Except maybe for this part:
When you love a woman, you're happy that she's found a man that makes her happy.
About the only way this would be true for me is if I already have a girlfriend of my own. If I don't and I like the girl romantically, I'm going to be seriously hurt that she doesn't love me back - so much so that I'll probably have to stop seeing her to avoid drowning in sorrow. Some people
(like Misha) can stay strong in the face of that constant reminder of heartbreak, but I don't think I can.
Selfish? Probably...but I'm just not that strong.
And if I *don't* like the girl romantically? I'll still be upset, because I'll be envious of her having a relationship and me not having one.
A guy just can't win sometimes, can he?
(Then again, maybe if I ask she'll hook me up with one of her lady friends...)
Love, to me, is basically friendship to the
nth degree. To me, friendship means being emotionally intimate with a person beyond simply being something like co-workers or drinking buddies. It's the sort of intimacy where you make yourself emotionally vulnerable to the other person, and the other person validates that trust by responding with kindness and understanding. This is why I have so few friends in real life - I've rarely met anyone who thinks of the word "friend" as anything more than "someone you know from work" or "someone you go bowling with on Thursdays". I'm a shy, sensitive person, and I've yet to meet someone who is unthreatening and earnest enough for me to feel like I could trust them with my feelings.
Love is when that sort of intimacy grows to the point of A> physical intimacy, and B> exclusivity. The former I think needs no detailed explainations
while the latter means the point where your interactions with someone become *so* close and personal that you don't want your partner to have the same experience with anyone else. Why? Because that level of connection you have with them means so much to you (and hopefully, to your partner) that it cheapens the experience to think that anyone else might be sharing in it. It's like discovering this really great small resturant to eat at during lunch and not telling anyone about it because you like having the place to yourself - your own private little joy in life. That's what love is - it's two people caring about each other so much that they selfishly refuse to share that feeling of closeness with anyone else.
To quote a certain robot from Futurama:
There is no great love without great jealousy!