Little Pieces

[3-----------------20]

Your writing is painfully saccharine... it is a good pain.

[Snicket]

[edit:] oops i posted the wrong comment in the wrong thread. Its fixed it now.

Anyway, it seems you've dabbled in the whole 'friends with benefits' theme and how it almost always becomes more then that. Meaning in these next few chapters, things can either go horribly wrong and backfire or turning to something...more.

[Mirage_GSM]

Wrong thread?
Try here.

[Sperance]

Wow… Has it really been a month? Well, damn. I’m really sorry, I have no excuse. I’ll try to get future instalments faster.

As always, a million thanks to ChaoticGrowth, who proofread this. Buddy, you are a real lifesaver.

Well, I hope you like it!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------


The problem with practice (Part 2)

I knock on the door of the room, despite the fact that I already know Lilly’s alone in there. I’ve already been to the library, where Hanako was immersed in her reading. When Lilly’s soft voice tells me to enter, I take a deep breath and cross the door. I really hope Lilly can help me. Because going to Shizune had not been as good an idea as I had initially thought it would be. As it turns out, the dorms are actually regarded as school grounds. Admitting that Rin and I had once done it in the art club didn’t help, either. It would probably be best to avoid Shizune for a few days, though Misha seemed to approve, having high-fived me with a thunderous laugh. When I left, Shizune was gesticulating furiously at her. How was I supposed to know I wasn’t allowed to have sex on school grounds? … Right.

“Who is it?” Lilly asks with a small smile. I smile, too, though I know she can’t see me.

“It’s me.”

“Hisao!” she exclaims, pleased “What a nice surprise. I haven’t heard from you much lately.”

I try to look apologetic, before realizing the futility of the act.

“I’m sorry, Lilly,” I tell her. “You could say I’ve… eh… been busy.”

Lilly nods lightly, pouring me a cup of tea, before sitting down again and sipping on her own.

“So, what is troubling you?” Lilly asks with a smile. I realize I must come off as an asshole, now. I mean, I haven’t actively avoided Lilly, or any of the other girls, but I now realize that I haven’t been paying much attention to them either. That may be the real reason Shizune got so angry. I neglect my friends, and then, out of the blue, I demand their advice. That’s rather selfish. No wonder Shizune got so pissed off.

“It’s a girl, isn’t it?” Lilly says. I arch an eyebrow and say nothing. Lilly can’t see my expression, but she reads my silence without trouble.

“It’s not a difficult deduction to make, Hisao,” she says. “You’ve been out of touch for weeks, though you haven’t actively avoided us. And now that you’re troubled, you have come here.”

Ouch. That sounded pretty harsh.

“I’m sorry, Lilly. I…”

She dismisses my words with a small wave of her hand.

“Don’t worry about it. Unlike some people, I understand that the novelty and feelings of a relationship can distract a person from his friends. As long as he realizes that…”

Wow. News sure does fly fast around here. For someone who holds her as an enemy, Lilly discovered my fight with Shizune quite swiftly. Also, ouch. She sure knows how to make me feel like an ass. Thanks a lot, Lilly.

“And who might the lucky lady be?” she finally asks.

“Eh… Rin. Rin Tezuka. You know, from the art club?”

“Of course I know her,” she smiles. “I’d like to say I’m surprised by this shocking revelation, but…”

“Funny.”

She sips her tea to hide her grin.

“And what would the problem be?” she finally asks. I sigh, realizing there’s no way to say it without sounding stupid.

“I love her.” I finally say, cringing at the statement.

“… I gathered that much”

I sigh again. I probably couldn’t have worded that worse.

“What I’m trying to say is that I wasn’t supposed to fall for her!” I exclaim, my voice rising without realizing it. “We… We began because we were attracted to each other, but I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with her! We were only friends! And now I could lose even that! What the hell should I do?”

Lilly remains silent for a moment, sipping her tea. She finally puts her cup down.

“Can I be honest with you Hisao?” she asks with a small frown on her face. I nod and she takes my silence as a cue to continue. That’s why I came here. “I think you’re an idiot.”

Wait, what?

“Really, Hisao? Did you honestly believe you could do that? ‘Only friends’?”

“I…”

“I thought you had better judgement than that. Even I know that you’d never be able to remain detached. You liked her, and it is certain that this attraction was not purely physical, yet you believed that you could become intimate with her and not fall for her? You? What were you thinking?”

Looking at it in hindsight, she’s right. But she’s wrong, too.

“I liked her,” I say, “a lot. How was I supposed to refuse?”

“You could have been honest from the beginning,” she points out.

“I wasn’t in love with her back then!”

“Really?”

“Yes! … I think.”

“I thought so,” Lilly says, looking incredibly smug. I frown, but the effect is lost on her.

“You’re not really helping, you know that?” I tell her in a dejected tone. “Should I tell her?”

“Would you be able to act otherwise?” she counters with a smile. “And even if you could, would that be fair? I’m not only thinking about her, but about you as well.”

“So, you think I should tell her?”

“How should I know?” she tells me, smiling warmly at me. “The better question here is: Do you want to tell her?”

--------------------------------------

Right now, I want to punch myself. This is not what I called Rin here for. I was supposed to look her in the eye and finally decide if I should reveal my feelings to her, not indulge myself in a few hours of sex. Awesome, awesome sex. Damn my libido. Now that I think about it, isn’t my medication supposed to destroy my erections or something? I’m pretty sure I read that as a side effect of one of the pills I am taking.

Rin suddenly jerks up and sits cross legged on the bed. I don’t give it too much mind, she does that time to time, usually when she’s thinking about something.

“Hey, Hisao,” she tells me, “give me a massage.”

I sigh. Figures. I sit up and begin rubbing her shoulders, and she closes her eyes with a small smile on her face. The soft happy moans she makes and the sensations of her soft skin on my hands promptly trigger a response out of Mr. Tackle. I want it to be noted the name was Rin’s idea.

As if sensing my member’s pulsating heat, Rin leans toward me, letting it poke her lower back. She turns her head, her grin making me blush. She doesn’t say a word, but I can’t help but feel embarrassed.

“This is your fault,” I try to defend myself. She chuckles. For some reason, sex always leaves Rin in high spirits.

She surprises me when she leans back further, using me as support. She’s not smiling anymore and that worries me.

“Rin?” I ask aloud, knowing very well that she’ll talk when she feels like she should.

A heavy silence falls between us and, even though I’m holding her, caressing her stomach softly, I don’t feel comfortable. This silence is different from our usual ones, and the things that are not being said weigh down on me. I get the feeling Rin wants to say something, too.

“You’re hiding something,” I say. Rin tenses, just for an instant. It’s only because I am holding her that I notice.

“You too”, she replies, which is fair. “You want to say something. You’ve been wanting to since yesterday.”

“Rin…”

“You’ve been going around all day talking to people. Emi told me,” she continues. She sounds angry, which is a first. I’ve never known Rin to get angry. “What’s going on?”

I sigh.

“I can’t continue doing this, Rin. Not like this.”

Whatever Rin was expecting, it wasn’t this. Her whole body tenses like steel and I feel her trying to pull away from me. I don’t let her go. I won’t. I can’t.

“Is that so?” she says, and though she tries to sound nonchalant, I can tell she’s hurt.

“I…”

“Yeah, I get it. Practice and all that,” she says. “I guess you found your significant other?”

“Rin, listen to me…”

“I mean, that was our agreement. We both knew this day would come. This whole situation is stupid.”

“Rin...”

“Well, it was fun, wasn’t it?” she interrupts me again. “No hard feelings. No reason to stop being friends.”

“Listen to me, damnit!”

“Good luck, then…”

“I love you, you idiot!”

Well, that was probably the worst confession ever. Rin finally manages to wriggle out of my arms, and she turns around to face me. She tilts her head.

“Huh?”

“I said I love you. Yeah, I know that wasn’t part of the agreement, but…”

“So you weren’t breaking up with me?” Rin asks. What? Wasn’t she listening?

“I just told you I love you. Why would I break up with you? Wait, were we even together?”

She ignores my question completely.

“Then what was that talk about you not being able to continue doing this?”

“Rin, I just told you I love you. Don’t you have anything to say?”

“But I knew that already. That’s why I was surprised.”

I stare at her in disbelief. Did she just say that?

“You knew? Since when?” I ask her.

“What do you mean ‘since when’? Since the beginning. I assumed that was why you agreed.”

“Wha… But… You said it was practice! That we were friends!”

“I lied,” she says without batting an eyelash.

“You… What?”

She shrugs and I can’t help but feel incredibly stupid.

“I fell for you, so I gave you a little push,” she says. “I assumed that you accepting the relationship meant you felt the same.”

“You never said anything!”

Rin shrugs again, her face betraying the fact that she can’t see what the big deal is.

“You never asked. I would have told you,” she says. “Eventually, I assumed you had caught on. I mean, it was obvious.”

I facepalm. This has to be a joke. I am getting worked up over nothing. This is stupid. Is this the great conclusion to my dilemma? I feel cheated. Rin leans forward, examining me with a curious look.

“Wait… You were worried about that?”

I don’t answer and I’m treated to a sound that almost never leaves Rin’s lips. Laughter.

Hah, hah, hah. Real funny, Rin. Screw you, you lovable nutjob.

[Esa94]

Hiaso, you damn idiot.

What a wonderful story :3

[DRKO]

If I may give my humble opinion, I believe all of the pieces you've written are well-made (minus the typos, but that's excusable in my book).

"Now that I think about it, isn’t my medication supposed to destroy my erections or something? I’m pretty sure I read that as a side effect of one of the pills I am taking."

Also, if I remember correctly, that is one of the many side-effects in the background whenever the doctor hands Hisao his list of prescriptions in the hospital.

[ChaoticGrowth]

If I may give my humble opinion, I believe all of the pieces you've written are well-made (minus the typos, but that's excusable in my book).

I concur. They are quite well-made. As for any typos, feel free to blame them on me. I do my best to catch them, but some will occasionally slip by; I take full responsibility for the ones that do.

[griffon8]

I absolutely love the last line.

'loveable nutjob'

Fantastic!

It's stuff like this that makes the ranking I have in my sig so inconsequential. The order is correct from my perspective, but the difference between first and last is sooooooo small.

[Leotrak]

*grins widely* Yeah, I can see Rin being like that :3 Great read ^_^

[Mirage_GSM]

Told you going to Shizune and Misha was a bad idea
Regarding meds and their side-effects - there are side-effects that affect only one in 10/100/100000 people so maybe Hisao is just lucky...
No really bad typos in there. The only thing that jarred me, was when he "crossed" the door.
Anyway, good story. Looking forward to the next.

[RedSavant]

Excellent as always, and though I'll miss the Rin series, I'm looking forward to the next girl. Who's next, on that note?

[hatori1181]

Excellent job. I'm not much of a Rin fan, but I feel like you captured her well. Your Hanako fic was amazing, nearly made me HHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGG. I swear, if the final game DOESN'T have a scene in Hanako's route that has a similar feel, I'm gonna be pissed.... I'm hoping for a Lilly fic next. Keep up the good work.

[DaMan65]

This is some really good work. As a fanfiction writer myself (Although admittedly I haven't written anything about KS) I can say the characterization is spot on at least so to satisfy my tastes.

[Sperance]

Well, hello there! Here I leave another Piece! It's pretty short, but I hope you'll like it nonetheless. As always, a million thanks to ChaoticGrowth, who betaread this.

------------------------------------

SELFISH

As I listen to his heart return to its normal pace, I feel guilty. I feel guilty for not feeling guilty, if that makes sense. I know, on a conscious level, that I shouldn’t be the one here, the one enjoying his warmth and the slow beating of his heart. I know that it should be someone else, someone who needs his love more than I do.

I know he’s fancied. I can’t contemplate upon his appearance, of course, but he’s gentle and polite to everybody. He listens when people talk and he tries not to burden others with his problems. How could anybody avoid fancying him? Within a week of arriving, he became more involved in the festival than some students who had been attending Yamaku for years; his only reason for doing so was that it had been requested of him.

I remember that week, I remember it quite well. His awkward introductions and his unsure pace, trying desperately to adapt to his strange new reality. Despite what I’d like to tell you, I wasn’t particularly attracted to him back then. I met an insecure person who was, try as he might to conceal it, scared out of his mind. I took him under my wing, became the cane he could use for support and navigation in these unknown waters. And, as weeks passed, I learned more about him, more than anyone else at this school. People knew of his gentleness, they knew of his generally laid back personality. But they missed things, important things. They missed his perpetually snarky attitude, so acute you had trouble knowing if he was taking you seriously or not. They missed the long hours he sometimes spent in complete silence, his steady breathing being my only clue that he was still in the room, as he reminisced about a life he had lost so suddenly. They missed the secret pride he refused to let go of, unwilling to live his life dependant on anyone, refusing to let his condition control his being completely, to the extent of doing things he knew he shouldn’t, just because he could.

Initially, I missed those things, as well. I missed them until, one day, I tried to wrap my wings protectively around my chicks and he wasn’t there. He wasn’t there and I couldn’t tell when he had left. I searched for him and he was by my side, not under me. I was surprised. Surprised and scared. Because he didn’t need me anymore, he was free to fly, to leave somewhere where I couldn’t follow. I didn’t want that. I didn’t know why, but that thought tore me apart. I prayed for him not to leave my side. And he didn’t. He stood by me.

I have no words that can adequately convey how relieved I felt. He stayed by my side disregarding whether or not he needed to. He shared with me the burden that I had decided to take upon myself. He revealed sides of himself that he never let anyone see. Can you really criticize me for falling in love with him?

I’m not like most students here at Yamaku. I’m perfectly comfortable with who I am and the limits I have. I don’t need anyone to guide me or console me. I came to terms with myself a long, long time ago. That’s why I know I should feel guilty. I don’t need his love. I don’t need his warmth, his caresses. I know they should be for someone who needs them to feel complete and loved. But I want them. I don’t need them, but I want them nonetheless. I like the touch of his skin, the way he treats me like the most precious thing he’s ever held between his hands. I like the way he whispers in my ear words that he would never, ever say out loud because they are so embarrassing. I love how he laughs loudly and jokes and does another thousand things that are for me and only me. I know it’s selfish, so very selfish, to want those things for me alone when I know other people need it more. But I just can’t feel guilty for that.

I think I’m entitled to some selfishness, am I not?

---------------------------

How was it? Hopefully the next one will be done sooner. Hear that CG? I'll have work for you soon enough! *laughs*.

[Mirage_GSM]

Brilliant as always.