Re: Cherry Blossom - A L/H FF
Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 6:33 am
by DragoonHP
A/N: I really didn't like to post these in the same post as of the story, but I refuse to triple post. So, anyway:
Thanks to Wren, if he hadn't pointed out, the previous chapter will have been the first one in the series,
And thanks to Mirage_GSM for proofreading my work.
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CHERRY BLOSSOM
CHAPTER — 6
Sounds of footfalls approaching my room greet the silence which has surrounded me. I actually rejoice as I hear them, because God knows, how I have spend the past moments here all alone.
During that brief, or not so brief, span of my loneliness, some things have come to my notice: The first thing was that I have been put in an abandoned part of the hospital. This was supposed to be some kind of school hospital and no one even passed my room! Am I the only one who gets into trouble here? I can’t believe it, I refuse to.
The second thing was that I’m hungry and no one has even come to ask if I needed something. It’s like this room, this ward in which I’m kept is invisible to the normal eye.
This thought depresses me, but the creak of the opening door pulls me out of my thoughts. I glance at the new arrival and sigh in relief.
“About time,” I mutter under my breath as a nurse brings me food. She silently puts it on my bed and without any further signs of acknowledging that I’m a living entity in the room and not a part of it (Did she show any sign to begin with!), she leaves, closing the door with a thump.
It’s most peculiar. The tray contents are hidden under a cloth. Maybe they do it to protect it from getting contaminated with… whatever. I’m too hungry to think. So, I greedily snatch the cloth away from the tray.
Suddenly I find myself craving for the school canteen’s food. Even if it tastes horrible, I’m sure it will be in every way better than this. On second thought, can it even be called food?
On the tray are two plain steel bowls. One of them contains something remarkably like a failed attempt at stew, and the second one... I don’t think I can even name what it is. All I see in it is lots of mud coloured water, some unevenly chopped vegetables and that’s all. Maybe there is something else, but I honestly don’t want to know.
My stomach grumbles loudly and so, I pick up the spoon, ready to devour the inedible looking food. What men do for their cruel stomach!
As the spoon takes a dip in the offending contents of the second bowl, I imagine — more for the steadiness of my mind than for anything else — that the content would taste fairly well. And seriously what choice do I have? I can either succumb to my stomach's wishes or protest. But even protesting requires a filled stomach, and when you plan to raise resistance against your stomach, you most certainly need energy.
So, I close my eyes and part my lips; I slowly and steadily bring the spoon to my lips, as a very thin, almost invisible sheen of sweat form on my forehead. There is a slight hesitancy, which I most definitely feel, and I am just a moment away from putting the spoon down, when my stomach grumbles more loudly than ever. It’s like, it knows what I plan to do.
Huffing angrily, I shove the spoon into my mouth. It hits my upper jaw but I don’t care. Because the contents have spilled in my mouth and the taste that accompanies it…
Just one word comes to my mind as I make a dash towards the dustbin, YUCK!
I haven’t eaten anything this revolting before, and I pray with all my might that I won’t have to taste anything like it ever again. If only my mother could see me now!
I spit my mouth's contents in the dustbin and for once my stomach complies with my wishes. I sweep my eye around looking for a pitcher of water, because the aftertaste hasn’t left my mouth. My eyes sweep around the room, but there is no sign of water in the room, either in pitcher, jug or in bottle. What a bunch of scrooge…
I halt my thought midways because near the bed, hidden in one of the corner of the table I see a pitcher of water. So magnificently hidden, someone would think that the water in the pitcher has been taken from some kind of fountain of youth.
I briskly walk to the table and snatch the pitcher in triumph. After gargling in a half-successful attempt to clean my mouth from the horrid aftertaste and shoving the tray away from my line of vision, I lay on my bed, counting the seconds between the sounds that somehow manage to approach my room. As it is, the gap between two sounds seems to be increasing. I started off with 20 seconds and now the usual gap is of about 600 seconds.
Suddenly my very disturbing carving for studying Math returns, instantly reminding me of my hospital stay, where I was sometimes pushed to the brink of sanity. A chill runs down my spine as I think about it, suddenly pleased with the fact that I will be discharged in a matter of hours.
* * * * * * * * * * *
I open my eyes. The bright light hurts my eyes. I blink them quite a few times as I get up on my feet. Still there is no one here. Seriously I feel like a prisoner, not a patient. Guess, this is going to be my life.
I get up and my eyes fall on the food tray. It’s still where I left it. I glance at the clock. Four hours have passed since Lilly left the ward. Now when I look back, I know it was very wrong on my part to just shove off Lilly like that. She is my friend and maybe, no, not maybe, surely she would expect me to support her, to take her side.
I’m such a fool. Now I have to try to mend our friendship, again… If I continue this, I will end up breaking every tie with Lilly. And I honestly don’t want that.
Promising myself to apologies to Lilly the first chance I get, I start to tidy up my bed. Why? Because I have nothing better to do.
“Hisao,” comes the head nurse's voice. I’m so happy that I can’t explain it in words. I feel like he is my… No!! What am I thinking?
“Good morning,” I say, turning to look at the door. I would have never thought that seeing him would make me so happy. But now, after the morning's horrendous events, his presence is like a miracle to me.
But he, instead of looking at me, looks around the room. His expression is indifferent as he looks around, until his eyes sweep over the discarded tray of food. An expression of suppressed mirth graces his face for a moment, which is quickly replaced by a countenance of businesslike seriousness.
“Hisao,” he says, “Haven’t you eaten your breakfast?”
“As you can see,” I shoot back, “I haven’t.”
My jab seems to hit him, hard. His expressions instantly turns sullen, as he replies in a question, “And why haven’t you?”
I grunt and whiz my mind for a possible retort. He smirks at the pause between my reply, which leaves me fuming. I haven’t excepted my day to turn into a nightmare. No, it would’ve been better, if it was a nightmare.
The Head Nurse bents down and slowly lift up the cloth. Even his expression turns a bit to the disgusted side, which he quickly rearranges back to a look of professionalism.
“Ah…” he says and I’m not sure on which side this expression is weighing, “such good food. It contains every essential mineral, vitamin and right amount of fats…”
He drools on, occasionally repressing a smirk. But he isn’t very successful at it or he isn’t trying very hard. Either case, it is infuriating me, big time.
“Hey,” I say, interrupting his babble. He looks at me pointedly, behaving as if I have interrupted his victory speech or something.
“What!?”
“You wanted to know, why I didn’t eat this ghastly — I mean tasty looking meal?” I ask him, waiting for his reaction.
He seems to be judging his reply.
“Yes,” he finally says, after a couple of seconds pause.
“You see,” I say, “I’m not a selfish human being. How can I devour such g — tasty looking meal, all by myself. You have been running around from the break of the dawn, you require energy more than I do.” — He opens his mouth to speak, so I press on firmly — “What have I done, nothing; I have just laid here like a zombie. And if I remember my science lessons — and have no doubt about it, I remember them — for doing work, energy is required. And anyway, you look so peaky; you can surely do with two or three extra meals.”
“You’re not my Mum,” he literally shouts at me. And with a snap, he registers his unprofessional behaviour and continues in a clipped tone, “The food supplied in the hospital wing is prepared specially for patients, keeping in mind the…”
“Don’t give me a monologue over it,” I say to him, “Don’t think I don't know how a hospital works. I have lived in one for more than four months and mind me, Yamaku too, is a kind of hospital; it just has a teaching section too.”
“I would say it is just the opposite,” the head nurse says, looking very happy for the change of topic.
I feel greatly disappointed over the fact and open my mouth to push the topic to its rightful path again. But it looks as he has anticipated my reaction because he strides forward looking serious.
“Now let’s not waste any more time and start the check up,” he says.
I grumble but let him proceed with the task. When finally things were turning out to be interesting, he has to go and turn them back dull again.
After nearly thirty uneventful minutes and an added prescription to my already very long med list, the head nurse officially discharges me.
Now, I have nothing better to do. There aren’t much of classes left for today, so going to class seems like a waste of time. It’s not that I have something extravagant planned for the rest of the day, but the prospect of facing Mutou seems a little, no not little, very intimidating to me. I know, I can’t hide from the inevitable but at least I can dodge it for a certain span of time. And I’m very content to do so.
Even after the head nurse leaves the room, ordering me to empty the ward, I still sit there. I just don’t feel motivated enough to get up and do something. But sitting alone and still can only be digestible up to an extent.
So having nothing better to do (again), I pick up the change of clothes, a nurse or a ward boy must have brought when I was asleep. Picking them up, I head to the bathroom for a very late and long shower.
I get out of the shower, feeling refreshed. Sometime during I was showering, it has started to rain. I didn't hear it start; maybe I was too busy wallowing in my self pity. Nevertheless I have noticed it now. And it is completely different from what I was imagining yesterday night.
Yesterday, I imagined the rain to be a very charming little thing, but seeing it today, it feels very oppressive.
With these thoughts in my head, I walk to the window and push the windowpanes open. A slight breeze welcomes me; it is scented with the smell of nature, especially soil. I close my eyes, and try to savour the richness of the aroma the wind is carrying. I have never experienced this in my hometown; guess there was just way too much pollution for this.
A strong wind blows and it sprinkles my face with little droplets of water. The tender touch of the droplets, somehow refreshes my skin. I stretch my face out of the window, my nose pointing at the vast blue sky, or rather the cloudy grey black sky. The small rain droplets tap on my skin as I look up, trying to look past the grey clouds and into the blue sky.
And a thought hits me. Is this what my life has become now? A cheerful life covered in the wraps of grey cloud, trying to repress any form of cheerfulness I may feel. Guess, it has.
I pull my head inside and sweep a hand over it. My face feels cold, and yet at the same time lively, like the rain has revived it somehow, like the rain has fended some of the dark clouds away. Whatever the cause is, I feel livelier than I have felt before. I even contemplate going to attend classes, but I soon come to the conclusion that I’m still not feeling lively enough to tackle Mutou.
So, I gather the scarce number of my possessions I have in the ward and head off to my room. The tap of the rain against the window sounds very alluring, like the tapping is some sort of bewitching ritual the rain is performing. In any case, I’m very tempted to go out; not for viewing the dark oppressive sky but for feeling the free flowing spirit of the rain, for feeling its lively nature.
With these thoughts playing in my head, I walk out of the auxiliary building. Rain greets me again as cheerful as before if not more. I’m bewitched to such an extent that I even step into the rain. And at the precise moment, a thought invades my mind, ‘Hospital again.’
It’s not much, just two words but for me it’s like someone has lectured me for a good hour. I can literally hear the head nurse rambling on about my careless nature and whether I want to live or not.
So, I take a step back, stepping away from the tempting rain and positioning myself in the isolated dryness. Because from my prospective the result will be far more horrendous than what I will feel now. So, walking with caution and trying to be as dry as possible I rush off to the boy’s dorm.
Of course a point comes where I am fully exposed to the rain and I literally jump with joy. Now not even head nurse can fault me for it, because the designers of Yamaku didn't consider the rainy season while they were designing Yamaku.
So, I step into the open, stretching my limbs to feel the full flow of the rain. The first sprinkle of the rain on my body sends shivers down my spine and the second one, makes my body feel lively again.
“What are you doing boy?” someone yells from behind. I turn to see a staff member standing there in the rain, having taken shelter in an umbrella. I look apologetically at him. He scoffs and says,
“Hurry off, already.”
I smile, for I have a feeling that he is going to regret those three words. I turn, grab my belongings tightly and speed off. I can hear him yelling at me, but it’s not understandable, the plonking and tapping of the rain are muffling his voice.
I laugh as I continue to run towards the boy’s dorm, my feet sloshing against the water. My clothes are soon drenched in water, but I don’t have any oppressive thoughts about it. It just… doesn’t matter; so I don’t feel anything when they get drenched in mud. After all I’m not the one who is going to clean them.
This thought halts my progress because it brought guilt inside me. A very well planned way to ruin my good mood, I think bitterly. So, I start taking slow and heavy steps towards the entrance of the boy’s dorm, which is just few metres away now. And now when the rush of adrenaline and mischief has passed, I can feel its effect on my weakened body. My heart has already started beating erratically, banging against my ribcage forcefully. My breathing has turned ragged and is coming out in short gasps.
I shake my head in annoyance and enter the dorm with a bad mood. Ultimately the rain has dampened my mood and it is making me think, if that wasn’t its ultimate goal to start with? A full fledged plan of inducing me with a fake sense of happiness, and then shattering it into many pieces. And the more I think about it, the more it feels that way. A very well executed plan.
Scoffing at my luck, I unlock my room and enter. Even the darkness of the room is oppressing me now. Great, just bloody great; exactly what I need.
In my fury, I punch the switch board. But my sense of mapping was a little wrong for my hand collides with the hard wall. I wasn’t prepared for it and so my hand jerks, painfully. My eyes water, and I have to bite my tongue to suppress a scream. Now with more caution, I first locate the switch board and then aim my finger at the switch. It connects with the switch and the room is bathed in light. I smirk at the switch board and open my closet for a change of clothes. Every set of shirts and trousers looks unsettling and a little out of place, so I pull out my old football clothes and change into them. I discard my mud stained clothes and take a towel from the closet.
And with that, I sit by the windowsill drying myself up.
Suddenly, I hear the very faint sound of a bell ringing. End of classes for today or maybe it was just something else. It turns out that it was after all the ringing of the bell because after just some moments, I hear the faint yet noticeable sounds of many feet.
The rain has let off considerably by now, I notice as I look out of the window.
Students are milling about, talking and chatting happily. It is saddening me, because I’m sitting here all by myself. So, I walk away from the window and open the door of my room, determined to go out and enjoy the rest of my day. But with whom can I enjoy it? Everyone except Kenji is mad at me, one way or another. And I’m not even sure if Kenji would talk to me.
I guess going outside will be better than staying in this room, where I’m feeling like a prisoner. So, I get out of the room, ready to savour the after effects of rain.
I step outside into the pleasant atmosphere. Rain hasn’t stopped completely yet. Small droplets are still falling but at very low intensity. One wouldn’t even notice it, if they are talking or chatting with friends. This thought brings more miserable thoughts to my mind.
Shaking my head, I walk towards the school building hoping to see someone I know. But all I see are groups off students chatting animatedly, not even sparing a glance at this loner. Such is my life; an oddity in a group of oddballs.
As I pass a tree, I notice some movement behind it. I try to ignore it and continue to walk, but curiosity soon gets the better of me. So, I turn and start to walk toward the tree.
And I regret it as soon as I look at the happenings beside the tree. A couple is snogging. So, I quickly retreat, shaking my head and trying to fend off that offending image. I do all of this very silently, making sure not to give any clue that I was watching them. I wasn’t watching them exactly, but I don’t trust my luck today.
I turn to walk toward the school courtyard, but stop. There are many students around me and I don’t exactly feel welcomed. So, I once again turn and head towards a patch of land which is surrounded by trees. It’s a good place to think and be alone, though I have enough of the latter without yearning for more.
Suddenly cloud starts bellowing With an almighty flash and roar, a heavy downpour starts. If I thought before that that was real rain, I was wrong. This is rain. And it isn’t making me feel very welcome. The rain drops are coming at such speed that they feel like little missiles hurled at me. It wouldn’t have been this unpleasant if it hadn’t been so continuous.
Walking back to the dorm doesn’t sound like a very pleasant idea to me. So, I gingerly walk to the group of trees and take shelter beneath them, rubbing my hands. Because of the tree branches and leaves, the intensity of rain is very low around here. Even the patch of land is receiving gentle shower of rain, not an angry outburst from the skies.
Thunder roars again in the distance. I skid to the base of the tree; my body leaning against the tree. Thunder roars again and I see a flash of golden, not golden, blonde, blonde hairs.
I shake my head; my eyes are playing tricks on me. But then, I hear the unmistakable sound of Lilly’s humming. My heartbeat increases a small fraction and I feel my body humming with it.
Why, of why did I come here? It’s not that I don’t want to talk and mend our friendship; it’s just that it is too soon. For God sake, I haven’t even thought about what to say to her.
As my mind plays this game of tug of war, my body seems to be working on its own accord. My head has turned a fraction, trying to peek at the place from where Lilly’s voice has come. I try to control my anxiety reasoning, that everyone should be allowed their privacy, but my body takes no heed of it. And somewhere in the back of my mind I know, I haven’t tried my best.
So, I quietly stand up and crane my head a little. And surely there is Lilly, bathing, not exactly, in the rain. The small, gentle droplets seem to be making her happy - happier than words can explain. Her hands are outstretched vertically, and her face is looking at the sky. Her eyes are closed and her body seems to be the most relaxed, I…
I stop myself. I feel like a stalker. But my eyes still seek her out. They are behaving like they are drawn towards her. A gust of wind blows in the distance, quickly followed by the roaring of the sky. Lilly doesn't even flinch, though a sad look crosses her face, a look of wistful longing and desire. It’s so sad and so palpable that it even makes me sad. But still I stand there completely still; afraid that if I move everything will just change with a snap.
The heavy outburst increases; the hurling of rain is now clearly audible and their attacks on the tender branches of trees sound like they are trying to break them off completely, so they can ruin this utopia.
But Lilly is oblivious to all of this, for she still stands there exactly like she did before. Once in a while, she will take a spin, laughing merrily. This is the kind of thing I did when I was a small child, but even the thought of doing it now, sounds silly; but seeing her doing it, it feels so adorable and lovely.
I involuntarily take a step forward and a fallen branch snaps under the weight of my foot, making a loud crunching sound. It disturbs the peaceful surroundings and I feel like havoc will break out any second. Nothing like that happens, but I actually don’t care for that. For my eyes are now only fixed on Lilly, who has stopped and is now looking around, alert. Her face has a concentrated look, like she is trying to identify the source of the noise. The tap and plonk of the rain, now feels like a bomb timer which is slowly but surely going off.
“Who is there?” Lilly asks; her voice has a tone of resolution, which has me thinking that slipping quietly away would be the best option. But again, my body has some different thoughts. Even when my mind is yelling, ‘What are you waiting for, dunce? Walk already,’ my body and heart refuse to comply with its wishes.
“It’s me,” I say, when my mind finally accepts the fact that nothing is going to heed its wishes, “Hisao.”
“Oh…” she says, a small smile grazing her lips. My mind does some kind of tango, which my eyes quickly stamp on, for the smile has been replaced by a scowl.
“Are you angry with me?” I ask her, tentatively.
She doesn’t answer; she just turns away from me. Man, I have screwed up big time.
“I’m sorry,” I say to her, “Will you forgive me? I know, I have been abusing the aforementioned terms but sometimes, I just can’t help myself, you know. I was really pissed off, when you and Shizune started that fight. And so I did the first thing that came to my mind. But I promise I won’t do it again…”
I continue to rant on, about what, only my God knows. If she, God please doesn’t let it happen, asks me to repeat, I don’t know what I will tell her.
My throat turns itchy and sore, and my voice cracks but she doesn’t give it any heed. Hell, she isn’t even looking at me. Man, I feel so hopeless.
And then a tinkling laugh breaks my depressing thoughts. There is no one else, so it should be coming from Lilly. An angry flare rises in my chest; she is finding my apologising funny.
Suddenly, Lilly turns around, a happy expression floating over her face. That expression makes all my angry thoughts go away.
And then I ask her, tentatively, “Am I forgiven?”
She just laughs and manages to choke out, “Do you even know what you just said?”
Uh, oh! Caught red handed. I look at her sheepishly, massaging the back of my neck. She just raises an eyebrow knowingly and says, “It’s just impossible to be angry at you, you’re so funny.”
“Oh, so that’s why I’m forgiven,” I say, “to be your official jester.”
“Yes,” Lilly answers, “Why are you standing so far away?”
“Just that,” I say to her, “’I will be hanged if I step into the rain.”
“Don’t be so melodramatic,” she says and continues with a bit of dare in her voice, “Come here.”
I oblige and step into the rain. The rain is gentle here, for it is tinkling the skin not biting it. I lean against a tree which is just next to Lilly.
“So, am I allowed to have tea and lunch with you,” I say and then add, “and Hanako?”
“Of course you are,” Lilly says with a bit of suspicion, “Why do you ask?”
“Because I was verifying whether I was getting the privilege for which I mended our friendship,” I say to her, smirking out of nature.
“Oh, oh, oh,” Lily says and swats my arm. Damn, her aim is just perfect.
“So, that’s the reason you followed me here. So, mean!”
“I didn’t follow you,” I say, feeling indignity rising inside me.
“So how come you are at the precise spot I am?” Lilly asks me, clearly not believing my statement.
“You are not the only one who needs a place for escaping the world,” I say to her and then ask, “And anyway, you are alone today.”
A look crosses her face, which I cannot identify. She quickly hides it with her professional look and says, a little too formally, “Hanako went to her room to read a book. If you want, you can wait for her here.”
Oh, oh, I didn’t see it coming. Maybe I did something wrong, again, though I don’t know where I went wrong.
“Stop it now, Lilly,” I say, “Why do you always need to add Hanako in the equation?”
“Me?” Lilly literally flares fire from her nostrils. And then with a jolt I remember, I was the one who added Hanako in the equation.
A sly smile suddenly comes over my lips. Is Lilly feeling jealous?
“Oh, I’m sorry —”
“Again,” Lilly adds sarcastically. So, Lilly uses sarcasm; a new side of Lilly, which I imprint in my mind.
“So, anyway,” I say, changing the subject, “You seem to like rain much. If you don’t mind me asking, why?”
Lilly doesn’t answer for a moment; she seems to be contemplating her answer.
“It’s just that,” she says, suddenly, her face is getting a faraway look, “you can enjoy rain even when you don’t see it. Because rain is not about seeing, it’s about feeling and savouring it. Of course, it turns really hard for me after the rain, but until the rain comes, I feel like I’m normal, I’m a part of this world, not an oddity.”
“Hey,” I say, perplexed. I have never thought that Lilly could think something so depressive.
“You’re normal,” I say to her, “Much more normal than most of the people around me.”
With that, I pull her into a hug, as rain drenches us both. She doesn’t resist; she just complies silently. The world to me at this moment looks truly peaceful.
). Now mark the first millimeter and the last millimeter. So, they are the start and the end. Now you have 250x12x7 = something - 2.
