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kosher stories own

I have been enjoying your story greatly.
Now, since it seems you can come up with things easily, you might want (or even feel the need?) to start developing a world of your own.

Juno wrote: Now, since it seems you can come up with things easily, you might want (or even feel the need?) to start developing a world of your own.

Glad you liked it! I am actually aiming towards that direction, with KS being my sandbox to relearn writefagging. I might even take up Mellowcorks's suggestion and do an online serial. For the time being, I shall experiment and practice in the KS universe.

One-shot featuring some of these characters coming tonight.

Here's a silly quick fic I wrote so Yoshiko's brother doesn't go underutilized. Incidentally, I accidentally made another OC I'd like to use in the future.

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Broken Dolls: Black and White
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To promote a family-friendly atmosphere, drinking, smoking, and rowdy behavior are no longer permitted in this establishment. Sorry for the inconvenience.

-Management.

“Eight-ball, that corner pocket.”

Eri confidently called her final shot at the pool table. She methodically drifted into place and took up an unusual shooting position, with her her right elbow bent above her head and the shaft of the cue resting between her middle and ring fingers which were held parallel to her body. She claimed that the unorthodox pose was to compensate for her inability to bend her back, but now Takuro was having his doubts.

“Clack!”

“I got it!” Eri announced, before running over to Yoshiko for a victory kiss.

“Damn,” Takuro sighed while applying chalk to his unused cue stick. “I just got hustled.”

“I told ya she was good,” Yoshiko gloated as Eri helped her up from her chair. “Okay! My turn!”

That night, Takuro was tasked with taking the girls into town to keep them entertained and off of each other. Most places their parents would allow Eri and Yoshiko to visit wouldn't let Takuro inside and the local pool hall was the least seedy of his old hangouts. Thankfully, it was a quiet night where most of the patrons were elementary school kids and their families. As an added measure of kid-friendliness, Yoshiko purchased an hour's worth of cheesy euro-pop songs from the jukebox.

“Okay, now keep your lower back up,” Eri instructed a bent-over Yoshiko, reaching from behind and pulling her lower torso higher. Eri's coaching was starting to look like some new-fangled dirty dancing move.

“Hey, hey,” Takuro tried prying them apart with his cue stick. “Not while I'm around.”

“WOO! Any bitches in this house?!” A drunken quartet school boys wearing the uniforms of an expensive private school made their rude entrance, much to the chagrin of everyone else in the building. The band of douchebags hi-fived and fist-pumped their way towards Yoshiko, Takuro, and Eri's table.

“Sup, ladies?” The group's leader spit-straightened his eyebrows and propositioned Eri and Yoshiko, having just jumped out of their compromising position. “You lesbos gonna give us a show? Or can I just take both of ya home with me?”

“Relax relax relax relax relax relax relax,” Takuro chanted to himself while rubbing his temples with his thumbs. “Don't lose your shit, Takuro. They aren't worth it.”

“Hey kid,” He addressed the boy as calmly and politely as he could, “if you don't mind, this is our table.”

“Back off, gramps.” The punk in the school uniform stepped up with his posse close behind. He stood close enough for Takuro to smell the liquid courage in his breath. “We're just out for a good time.”

Takuro clenched his fists behind his back as tightly as he could and snapped them open to flick his hostility away, just like the anger management classes taught him to.

“Look, fellas. I don't want any trouble, so leave me and my sisters alone.”

“Yo Kyosuke,” one of the schoolboys asked as he rested his elbow on Eri's shoulder, “can I have the short one when you're done?”

“Sure,” the leader replied before returning his attention to Takuro.

“Some big brother you are. All inked up like a thug and you're just a big pussy after all.”

Takuro gritted his teeth. His heart was telling him to send the brat's nose up into his brain, but a lifetime of disciplinary action and rehabilitation was telling him to seek out some sort of peaceful resolution.

“Yoshiko, Eri... let's leave...” He choked out, red in the face with rage.

“There's no shame in backing away,” Takuro mumbled, reciting the counselor's words to himself, “real men know when to quit.”

“HEY! Hands off my girl!” Yoshiko pocketed her mobile phone and slapped away the boy who was trying to feel up Eri.

“Hey babe,” the boy said, “I'm just having a little fun. Relax”

Takuro just stood there, glaring at the kids who were harassing Eri and Yoshiko. He was ashamed. His past self from five years ago would have kicked his ass for being so complacent. Imagining himself to be a pacifist Zen master, he took a deep breath and tried thinking of a way to peacefully take control of the situation.

“Ow!” Yoshiko cried as Eri's harasser gave her a back handed slap.

The sight of his sister getting hit forced Takuro to spontaneously regenerate his balls. “Fuck it,” he said to him self out loud, “this is worth it.”

“What'd you say, brah...ACK!” Kyosuke's two front teeth caved in when Takuro's forehead collided with his mouth.

While the ringleader fished his teeth out of the back of his throat, the two unoccupied cohorts ran up to the equipment rack and grabbed cue sticks. Takuro dashed over to Yoshiko to back her up.

“Nikki, are you okay?”

“Don't worry about me, bro,” she enthusiastically replied between heavy breaths. She had Eri's attacker pinned against the pool table and had her cane pressed up against his windpipe. “I've got this. Take care of the other guys!”

One of the boys lunged at Takuro, only to be knocked down by an elbow to the head when Takuro grabbed the cue stick and yanked it towards himself. His partner made the same mistake and paid for it with a knee to the stomach.

Takuro kept the stick-twins subdued with an occasional stomp whenever they tried to get back up. One of the things he learned when it came to prison brawling was to knock down his opponents early and keep them down. Unfortunately, he forgot the most important thing: never turn your back on an enemy. Out of the corner of his eye, Takuro saw Kyosuke sneak up from behind to clobber him with a barstool.

“Your ass is mine, old ma-UMF!”

Kyosuke suddenly dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes.

“Wow,” Eri looked with fascination at the beer bottle she was bludgeoned Kyuoske with, “I thought this would break when I hit him.”

“In the movies,” Yoshiko nonchalantly explained while pushing her unconscious foe off the table and onto the floor, “the ones they use shatter because they are made of sugar.”

“Damn. So much for keeping out of trouble.”

Takuro folded his arms, satisfied but keeping an eye on the punks laying on the ground.

“Nikki, Eri. I'm sorry about all this. We should've backed off sooner.”

“What are you talking about?” Yoshiko jumped on him with a hug. “You were great just now!”

“Alright! Break it up!” A pair of uniformed police officers stormed in through the back door, flashing their badges and readying their batons.

“Well, well, well,” one of the cops waltzed over to the scene with grim satisfaction, “if it isn't Takuro Fuckin' Tachibana. Long time no see. Are you hitting up kids for lunch money now?”

“Officer Akiba,” Takuro smirked at the cop who had a notch in his earlobe. “I see your ear has gotten better.”

“It was terrible, sir!” Kyosuke flailed out his arms in exaggerated distress. “We were just minding our business, playing pool, when this guy attacked us out of nowhere.”

“That's a lie!” Yoshiko countered. “You perverts are the ones who...”

“Yo Nikki,” Takuro pulled in Yoshiko and made a shushing gesture. “Chill. We'll get this all sorted out at the station.”

“My dad is a lawyer!” Kyosuke taunted. “We'll have your ass on a silver platter!”

“Your DAD is a LAWYER?” Takuro was beginning to lose his patience again. “Well my LAWYER is a LAWYER, so fuck you!”

“Allright, Tachibana,” officer Akiba held out handcuffs for Takuro. “You know the drill.”

“Yeah.”

“Sanjo, I'll take care of our friend here. You go radio an ambulance for those boys and see if you can get someone out here to take the girls home.”

“Excuse me, boys.” A casually dressed woman wearing a police badge around her neck came in. “What's going on here?”

“Assistant Inspector Mikuni,” Officer Sanjo stood up and straightened out his uniform. “This man here instigated a fight with these high schoolers.”

“Is that so...?” The inspector circled around the bloodied schoolboys. “Don't you know who that guy is? You kids are lucky to be alive. Akiba, once they're patched up, take these kids in for disorderly conduct, public drunkenness, buggery, or something like that and let Tachibana go.”

“But Ma'am, this man here is a repeat offender. This has got to be his doing.”

“I know who he is, Sanjo. But those girls sitting over there are his sister and her friend. He wouldn't start a fight and risk them getting caught in the middle. He was obviously defending their honor.”

“Are you sure?”

“Trust me on this. I'll do the paperwork.”

“Okay then, Mikuni.” Relieved of the burden of paperwork, Sanjo and Akiba happily put the four boys in handcuffs.

“You bitch! My dad will have your badge for this!”

Inspector Mikuni “accidentally” tripped Kyosuke as he was led out of the building to the waiting ambulance.

“Yeah, good luck with that, kid. You're not the first one to tell me that.”

“Are you okay?” She asked, after checking Takuro and the girls for injuries.

“Yeah, I am. I'm sorry to bring you into this, Fuko.”

“Always playing the knight in shining armor, huh?” Fuko looked in his eyes and smiled. “It suits you. A lot better than running around with gangs and robbing liquor stores.”

“Yeah, you know me. Still the same Takuro.”

“Yuck,” Fuko grimaced and stuck out her tongue. “And I see you're still rolling around in your Daihatsu. I haven't driven one of those since I was still writing up parking tickets.”

“What's a knight without his trusty steed?”

Takuro and Fuko shared an awkward moment of extended silence after she returned from taking statements from the kids outside.

“Hey, Fuko. Thanks. You know, aside from my family, you're really the only friend I still got.”

“And you're the only one I've had this long.” Fuko playfully punched Takuro in the arm hard enough to make a more litigious person sue for police brutality. “And it's Nikki you should thank. She sent me a text message when this all started. It's a good thing I was in the area.”

Having filled out all the paperwork she could at the scene, Fuko led the trio outside.

“Hey Takuro.”

“Yeah?”

“Next time, call me before things go out of control.”

“Please, I'm always in control of the situation.”

“I'm serious. You would've gone away for good if I didn't show up tonight. If you do something you deserve to go back for, I would bring you in myself. Please don't put me through that.”

“Alright, alright. Who am I to turn down an order from my own personal guardian angel?”

With her colleagues and the schoolboys gone, Fuko gave Takuro and Yoshiko a round of hugs as they parted ways in the parking lot.

“Stay out of trouble, please. And don't do anything stupid.”

“Like what?”

“Like repeatedly backing into the BMW that those kids drove here in as soon as I leave.” Fuko winked and drove off in her unmarked car, giving Takuro all but explicit permission to vandalize Kyosuke's ride.

After bashing in all sides of Kyosuke's M5 at the expense of a few scuffs on his Mira, Takuro and the girls drove back home.

“So where does your brother know that lady from?” Eri asked Yoshiko.

“They went to high school together. At the time, Fuko had a really abusive boyfriend who used to slap her around and...”

“I beat the shit out of him,” Takuro boasted, “that's what!”

“I see. And you've been friends ever since?”

“Friends? No. That woman loves me!”

Takuro earned some man points there. There are certain lines you don't cross.

Moment that line was crossed, Takuro heard the boxing ring bell go off in his head, and it was on. Also the detective was pretty damn cool.

Love this extra, I would love to see more. Good job once again.

Time for a fanfic? Hit it!

Another quick, silly one I did. This one does bring up some questions that will come up later...

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Broken Dolls Extra: The Happy Housewife
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For cosmetic purposes only. Not to be taken orally.

-

“Ahoy!” Yoshiko burst through the front door of her house to greet her fans, who were eagerly awaiting her return from school. “I'm home!”

Silence.

“Mom! Dad! Takuro! Eri! Yoohoo!”

Yoshiko threw her overnight bag into her room and did a survey of the house. Her return home from Yamaku unannounced, but she was at least hoping to see someone from the family. With all other rooms empty, she finished her search with Takuro's room and saw her brother put on some business attire.

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like? I'm getting ready for work.”

“You, work? And it's already noon.”

“Hell yeah I work. I've signed up with this temp agency and I've been getting gigs that last me a few days or weeks at a time. It's actually pretty sweet cuz every job is different so I don't get bored.”

Takuro got out his old suit coat and checked it for holes.

“So where are you working that's so fancy with odd hours.”

“Vendor at a pornography trade show, selling bodypaint. Yes, I do have to wear a suit for this.”

“Wow. Bring me back something funny. Like a hug pillow with a shemale anime character on it or something.”

“I'll see what I can do. Aren't you supposed to be in school?”

“I told my teachers that I had a bunch of doctor's appointments back here so I took a today, tomorrow, and Monday off to give myself a long weekend. When does Eri usually get back from school.”

“On a Friday? Uh, like six or seven, I guess.”

Yoshiko spun around in Takuro's chair and rolled across the room a few times.

“Well, I guess I could go hang out with Mom. Maybe get her to take me out to eat.”

“Mom and Dad flew to Macau with Uncle Toru and Aunt Nene to go casino-hopping. They ain't getting back till next weekend.”

“DAMMIT!”

After Takuro left for his job at the convention center, Yoshiko let her brain atrophy for a few hours in front of the TV. Takuro and her parents might be busy, but she had plenty of quality time with Eri to look forward to. They could even play house while Takuro was at work.

At six-thirty, Yoshiko woke up from her nap on the living room couch to the sound of the front door slamming shut.

“Eri!” She called out into the house.

“N-Nikki?” Eri came into the living room bearing an armful of heavy books. “When did you get here?”

“Around lunchtime,” Yoshiko replied as she jumped off couch to help Eri with her books.

“Hey, you should get a rolling backpack or something. All this heavy lifting is going to mess you up.”

“I know, Nikki. Your mom has been telling me the same thing since I started school.”

“Oh jeez. Am I turning into my mother?”

“It's a good thing. You're both very caring.”

Afterwards, the girls shared a gourmet dinner of instant noodles and pan fried Spam. Yoshiko savored her simple meal. Getting Eri to herself that night was going to be great. They could go have a night out downtown, or have a pajama party in the living room, or...

“What're we doing after dinner?”

“Eh? Sorry, Nikki. I've got a really big paper due Monday. I'll be very busy for a while.”

“Oh. I see.” Yoshiko slumped over at the dinner table, crestfallen.

“I-I'm sorry. We'll go have an adventure when my schedule frees up.”

Yoshiko pouted at her girlfriend's little white lie. Eri was only in the first stretch of college, studying general education topics. Things were going to get worse when she actually starts her medical schooling, much worse. In the back of her mind, she dreaded the possibility that she might hardly see Eri at all until she finished her education. Would they still be the same then?

A dinner of canned meat and rehydrated noodles might be the most she'll ever see of Eri for the next six to eight years.

“Nikki!” Eri clapped her hands in front of Yoshiko's vacant eyes. “Wake up! I'll go do the dishes.”

“Huh? Eh? Oh, no. Let me.” Yoshiko snapped out of her zoning out and grabbed Eri's dishes. “You go get a head start on your homework.”

Yoshiko dutifully did the dishes like a happy housewife from a more backwards time. She had a smart and scholarly girlfriend, and she was only too happy to support her. After watching a few more hours of TV, Yoshiko prepared a cheese sandwich and a glass of juice for Eri.

“Honeeey!” Yoshiko came in like a black-and-white sitcom mom wearing an apron and bearing refreshments. “It's time for a snack!” She considered wearing JUST the apron, but she didn't want to distract Eri too much...

“Uhuh.” Eri mumbled from her desk.

“I have a cheese sandwich and some mango juice.” Yoshiko laid the tray on the nightstand by the bed and stood behind Eri's back. “And would you like a massage to go with that?”

“Nikki!” Eri snapped. “I'm busy right now. C-Can you leave me alone for now?”

“Sure...” Shocked, Yoshiko backed towards the door slowly. “I'll be in the living room if you need me.”

Eri fumbled around with her papers, trying to get back to work. When she failed at that, she turned called out to Yoshiko.

“I'm sorry, thanks for the snack!”

But she was already gone. Apologies would have to wait for later. There was work to be done.

Yoshiko returned to her room and spent the rest of the evening flipping through comic books. She wasn't actually reading them, just moving her eyes from panel to panel to keep her brain awake.

Eri was growing up, and she didn't like it.

What if she really does become a doctor? Wouldn't having a girl, especially one like Yoshiko, hurt her career? She knew from experience that doctors only care about their reputation among peers. That, and the expensive cars they drive. What if Eri had found someone else at school? A fellow upstanding aspiring professional with more culture, class, and refinement than Yoshiko could even comprehend?

No, Eri wasn't like that. She was different. She really wanted to help injured and sick kids. Yoshiko would just have to tough it out and support Eri how ever she could. And that night, the best thing to do was stay out of her way.

Takuro came home at about two in the morning and went straight to his room to pass out. Yoshiko got ready for bed without bothering to say goodnight to Eri. If she was pulling an all-nighter, the last thing she needed was to have her momentum broken.

All that worrying was making Yoshiko's legs ache. She considered breaking out the painkillers, which she had not done for months. She decided against it but the discomfort made her toss and turn in bed.

She was living under the same roof as the woman she loved, and had her parents' blessing to be with her. So why was she feeling further away from Eri than ever before? Yoshiko hugged a pillow tightly and anguished her way to sleep, praying that Eri wouldn't drift away in the years to come.

Yoshiko suffered through constant dreams of abandonment until the removal of her hug pillow jostled her halfway out of her sleep. She was no longer alone. Someone in the darkness was rearranging her arms and huddling up close to her. Yoshiko ran her hands along the intruder and found a familiar body wearing a corrective girdle underneath her pajamas.

“Eri?”

“I'm here.”

“What time is it?”

“It's almost six.”

Contently relieved that Eri was with her. Yoshiko held onto her girl from behind and squeezed her close.

“Nikki, what do you want to do this weekend?”

“Don't you have your paper to finish?”

“No, I'm finished. I had a feeling you were coming home so I started early and worked on it nonstop. We can go do whatever you want tomorrow.”

“We don't have to. I'm sorry to have bothered you.”

“No, I'm sorry that I yelled at you. I know you were trying to help.”

Eri picked up Yoshiko's wrist and kissed the back of her hand.

“And I could use your help right now.”

“Hm?”

“Keep me warm tonight. It's cold upstairs.”

“No it isn't. But, I can do that.”

Yoshiko smiled when she noticed that Eri immediately fell asleep. That was actually the first time they've ever really slept together. Whenever they were intimate, they were on a schedule and had to jump out bed before someone got home. Even with their first time together, they had to account for dorm patrols checking rooms for that sort of thing on the last day of school. That night, however, they were free to just enjoy each other and do all the nothing they wanted.

kosherbacon wrote: “Wow. Bring me back something funny. Like a hug pillow with a shemale anime character on it or something.”

Now, what does this remind me of?

All together, now: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Sick of these girls yet? Don't worry, here comes their last story for the time being. No canon characters, no Yamaku... Hell, they're not even disabled anymore!

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Broken Dolls Secret S: It's Not Really Green.
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Koyama, Eri
September 17, 1997
Sunflower Class

When I grow up, I'm going to go to college and get good grades. When I'm finished with school, I will work hard and become successful. I would also like to get married, have two children, and live in a big house.

-

“Your work got you a... a green card?!”

“Actually, it's beige. Next, I'm going to learn how to drive...”

Eri queasily listened to her girlfriend's latest scheme over the phone. Yoshiko was spending her first few years out of high school traveling the world and taking on odd jobs. Her stated intent was to dabble as much as possible to find her place in the world and Eri was growing weary at how often Yoshiko would simply quit a job or a hobby and move on after a few weeks.

Although she missed Yoshiko dearly, Eri encouraged her exploration at first. With her schooling becoming more time consuming every day, she would not have been able to keep Yoshiko company at home without sacrificing her studies.

Yoshiko had just angrily terminated her small-time modeling career, citing frustration with “those backstabbing scrawny midget bitches” and had taken up writing for a magazine in the United States. Although it was starting to appear that Yoshiko found her calling in life, Eri feared that this was going to be yet another temporary phase.

“So... are you going to be living there from now on?”

“I guess. I mean, I could just go to an embassy and get rid of it if I needed to.”

“Nikki! If you do that, there's no telling when you could get another chance like that. It could take years. But... do you really want to become an American?”

“I-If it really bothers you, I could surrender it and head home right now.”

“N-No. Don't do that. It's just that... I wish you talked to me about this before you agreed to it.”

“Well, I was gonna make it a surprise.”

Another one of Yoshiko's surprises. Just where was that girl heading in life? Eri practically had her whole life planned out and was firmly entrenched in medical school while Yoshiko was every bit a ronin like her brother. Eri unraveled a knot in her stomach and spat out a question she had wanted to ask for weeks.

“Yoshiko, where are we going?”

“What do you mean?”

“I'm talking about us. I'm worried that we might be heading off into different directions in the world.”

Yoshiko replied with a few heavy breaths and some very expensive silence over the long-distance phone call.

“I'm sorry.”

“It's okay. Just, just don't worry about it for now. We'll figure things out later or something. How are things at work? Did you find someone to take your manuscript?”

“Yes. I'm pretty excited so I started another one. You know, while I still have the momentum.”

“That's good.”

Yoshiko and Eri continued their strained conversation. Although they tried their best to keep things as cheerful as they could, Eri's doubts hung over them like a dark cloud.

“Nikki, is it okay if I go get lunch?”

“Ye-yeah. What time is it, two?”

“It's almost four.”

“Already! Sheesh. Go eat! I better head to bed anyway.”

“Goodnight, Nikki. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

On her way to the cafeteria, Eri was intercepted by her classmate and friend, Kasami Honjou. Kasami was a slightly pudgy curly-haired girl of Eri's age and height. Her bubbly nosiness often got onto Eri's nerves.

“Oy oy, what's got you down today?”

“Nothing.”

“Trouble with the Mrs. again?”

“I guess you can say that.”

“I'll bet it's another one of her harebrained schemes, eh? Oh by the way, Shou has been asking to see you again. I think he liiiikes yoooooouuu.”

“Kasami, tell Mister Mukai that I'm not on the market.”

Kasami took Eri by the hands and looked her in the eyes.

“Eri,” Kasami said, “I don't think Nikki is going to grow up. You gotta let go of this phase of yours and move on with your life.”

“It's not a phase,” Eri replied, averting her eyes away from Kasami's serious gaze, “she just needs to find herself.”

“And suppose she finds herself in a place you can't follow? I'm not saying you should dump her. Just keep your options open for now. You've been with men before, right?”

“Yeah, until I met Yoshiko.”

“That was like a million years ago! Grown men are different from high school boys. So anyways, are you working this Saturday night?”

“I think I'm off, but I don't like where this is going...”

Kasami gleefully dug into the pockets of her lab coat and fished out a scrap of paper.

“Okay, good. You're going on a date with Shou. Here's his number. I'll leave you to call him and plan out the details!”

“A d-date?” Eri stammered at Kasami, who was running off grinning, “B-But...”

“Geez,” Eri grumbled to herself when Kasami was out of view, “I guess I could just go hang out with him as a friend, just to shut her up.”

...

“Please, Eri,” Mrs. Tachibana kindly rebuked as she held up her hands in polite refusal of the money Eri was offering her, “save your money. You don't need to pay us rent.”

“But I've just been freeloading off of you guys all this time,” Eri pleaded, “just let me help out a little.”

“You do plenty with the grocery shopping and the chores. Besides, you're family now.”

“But Yumi...”

Eri pouted and squeezed the wad of cash, refusing to put it away. She was uncomfortable with the generosity offered by the Tachibanas and sought to repay them for their kindness. She was even uncomfortable with calling Mrs. Tachibana by her first name.

“And Eri,” she said, giving Eri a hug, “you can call me Mom if you'd like.”

“Okay... M-M-Mom...”

Eri tried sneaking the money into the pocket of Yumi's apron but was again cheerfully refused.

“MOM!” Takuro hollered from the living room. “Someone's at the door! If it's the cops, then I'm not here. Unless it's Fuko, then just send her up!”

Knowing the drill for screening Takuro's guests, Eri answered the door and saw the one-armed blonde from graduation day standing at the front step.

“Hello. My name is Sayuka Shimada,” the lady bowed, “is Miss Eri Koyama home?”

“I'm Eri.”

“So you're Eri. I remember you. You were my husband's classmate, yes?”

“...Husband?”

“My husband is...” Sayuka ashamedly shifted her gaze away and spoke through clenched teeth. “Shinnosuke Yamada. Well, Shimada now. He took my name.”

“Sh-Shin?!” Eri's jaw hit the ground. “Um... Sorry. Congratulations?”

“Thank you, Miss,” Sayuka replied with a pained smile, “and how have you been doing?”

“Okay,” Eri responded, confused at the nature of the visit, “I guess. Why do you ask?”

“I apologize for my imprudence, my late father...”

“I'm sorry.”

“...Thank you, dear. My father has has left me in charge of the family and all of its dealings, among which were the orphanages you have lived in.”

Eri dropped to her knees and kowtowed at Sayuka's feet.

“Madame, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the assistance you have given me. I hope that I have not been a disappointment. If you'll allow me, I can retrieve my transcripts from school and...”

“Oh my!” Sayuka laughed, “I'm not one of those case workers here to measure your progress. I'm just here to see how you're doing. Now get up!”

Eri reluctantly stood back up on her feet and bowed profusely.

“Hows your health?” Sayuka asked. “Are you well?”

“Yes, Ma'am,” Eri replied, “thanks to the care your organization has given me, my back is now almost completely normal.”

“That's good to hear. And this family you're living with, how are they treating you?”

“L-Like a daughter,” she uncomfortably answered, “they have taken me in with open arms and have provided me with a loving home.”

“I'm glad. Are they going to adopt you?”

“Um, I'd rather they don't...”

“I see. Do you need help with your expenses? I see that you've taken a part time job as a convenience store clerk. Does it interfere with your studies?”

“No, I just try earning some money to try paying rent and to save for when I'm too old to keep receiving financial help.”

“Responsible as always,” Sayuka patted Eri on the shoulder, “don't worry about the money. I'll tell you what, from now on, we'll cover your entire schooling like we should have...”

All the seemingly unwarranted niceness was making Eri feel incredibly embarrassed. She began to shrink away, blushing.

“Excuse me, Yumi Tachibana, right?” Sayuka addressed Mrs. Tachibana, who was watching from behind the doorway. “Thank you for taking care of our Eri for us. Here's for her rent and meals. Let me know if you need more.”

Sayuka grabbed a brown envelope swollen with money out of her bag and tossed to a very surprised Yumi.

“Now just one more question before I get out of your way. Have you found love?”

Eri confidently and enthusiastically replied for the first time since Sayuka showed up.

“Yes. I have.”

Sayuka exchanged contact information with Eri and happily left. Inside the car, Shinnosuke watched with confusion at his wife's uncharacteristic display of kindness.

“So are you gay for Koyama too?”

“Shin, whatever fantasies you're cooking up aren't going to happen, so don't get too excited.”

“We've been looking up orphans all week, so why were you gushing all over only that one?”

“Because I love her, That's why.”

“What.”

...

“...and that's why Nikki and I aren't allowed in the ramen place anymore.”

“Oh my,” Shou feigned amazement at Eri's story as they walked back to her house, “I'm glad they didn't make you stay and clean up.”

Shou's date with Eri was already winding down, but he had yet to make any real progress with her. Every time Eri would open up, she'd fall back on her security blanket and tell a story about her friend Nikki. Somewhere within her words, a secret was hiding. Could it be that she was fighting the urge to throw herself at Shou? That had to be it...

Eri was a refreshingly unconventional woman. Usually someone of her social standing would throw herself at Shou with moneybags on the mind. Far too many of Shou's relationships in the past were with gold diggers. Eri wasn't rich, but she had the refined harmony that only came with good breeding, and the sort of insightful wit and compassion that only the moneyed idle had the privilege to develop.

Yes, she was the one.

“Well, this is my place. Thank you for the wonderful evening, Shou.”

What marvelous restraint. Even at the last chance for magic, Eri continued to hold back from Shou.

“No, thank you. The pleasure was all mine.”

Shou bowed to the lady and kissed her hand.

“Oh... Oh my!” Eri nervously replied, “How sweet of you.”

“I'm merely doing what every gentleman should,” Shou replied, firing up the famous charm.

“You'll make some girl happy someday. Goodni-”

Shou stepped up to Eri, close enough to feel her breath on his lips. From this distance, she could see the hair plugs that built up his pompadour, but that didn't matter. Eri was the sort of girl one could bare themselves to without being judged. Not that anyone would have anything bad to say about Shou's prosperous figure, trend setting sequined frilly shirt, manly makeup, and ornately manscaped sideburns and eyebrows.

“'Someday' is too far off, my dear. If it's you, I shall endeavor to forever bring you happiness.”

“Sh-Shou...” Eri squirmed in Shou's embrace.

“I have had my eye on you since we met. Finally, I have a chance to spend time alone with you, without the others.”

“Um, Shou...”

“No further need for words. Let's do what was on our minds since the start of the evening.”

“Shou, pleaMPHF!”

Fireworks ignited in Shou's heart when his lips touched Eri's. After all those years of relationships that went nowhere, he finally found the one. He found the girl who set his heart ablaze with passion and interest. Eri must have been feeling it too, judging by how much she was shaking.

Their long kiss went on for five glorious, Earth shattering seconds, only to be interrupted by the dull thud of what must be a hobo knocking over discarded boxes off in some dark corner.

“Sh-Shou...” Eri squeaked out, overwhelmed, “I gotta go. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, my precious jewel of the night. Sleep well.”

“Y-Yeah. Bye.”

Obviously starstruck, Eri sprinted through the front gate and into her house, locking several deadbolts and chain locks behind her. Exhilarated at the night's victory, Shou strutted his way back home while Eri promptly vomited away dinner in her bathroom.

...

“Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God!”

Yoshiko shivered in the shadows of an exterior wall across the street from her house, cradling the ankle that collapsed from under her. Biting her lip from the pain in her heart more than her leg, she unleashed a torrent of confused tears. Slowly, her brain rewired itself to understand what just happened.

No wonder Eri was trying to give Yoshiko “the talk.” She had a feeling that their relationship was in crisis, so she flew back to Japan as soon as she could and found what she hoped she'd never see.

“Eri... Why?”

================================================================================================================================
Broken Dolls Secret S: Exile
================================================================================================================================

Tachibana, Nikki
Age 6

When I grow up, I want to be the first woman on the Moon. Or to become rich and famous for being myself.

-

“I'm coming,” Fuko yelled at the front door as she threw on some clothes. “I'm coming!”

After tripping over several empty bottles, she opened the door, displacing a pile of cans in its wake.

“FUUUUKOOOOO!!!!” Yoshiko dove into the apartment with outstretched arms and landed on Fuko, pushing her over onto a pile of laundered clothes.

“H-Hi Yoshiko,” Fuko greeted her attacker with forced politeness as she pushed her off. “What brings you here at... this lovely hour?”

“It's it's...” Yoshiko crackled then began to bawl her eyes out.

Fuko dragged Yoshiko's suitcase inside and closed the door, then offered her a 40oz bottle of malt liquor.

“Sorry, It's all I have. What's wrong?”

“I-I-It's Eri,” Yoshiko replied between drippy gasps, “I-I c-came home to s-surprise her, and I saw her in front of our h-house... k-kissing a g-guy!”

“So?” Fuko shrugged, opening up her own bottle. “You should be happy that she found someone. I was starting to wonder about her...”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'SO?'!” Yoshiko slammed her fist on the kitchen counter and turned red in the face. “SHE WAS KISSING SOMEONE ELSE!”

“Hoo hoo,” Fuko giggled, “I think I see what's going on here. You like Eri, don't you? I had no idea you were that way. How juicy indeed.”

Yoshiko slapped a palm to her forehead and glared at Fuko indignantly.

“Fuko, Eri is my girlfriend. Or at least she was. We've been a couple for about four and a half years.”

The deadpan bombshell revelation forced Fuko to spit out her drink all over the kitchen.

“Y-You... and Eri? Are you sure? I mean like, you know how girls get all touchy-feeley and hand-holdey with each other all the time...?”

“Yes, Fuko, I'm sure. We used to even have sex all the ti-”

“Okay, okay. So you're not just friends. How come I didn't know this?”

“I dunno,” Yoshiko shrugged, “since you're with Takuro all the time, I just figured you knew.”

“Well, he'd call you both his sisters, so I thought you were just friends who were creepily close. Anyways, so she's cheating on you... what do you do now?”

“I don't know! I can't exactly come home with her living there, having replaced me in the family...”

“Fine, you can stay with me if you clean this place up while I'm at work.”

Yoshiko apprehensively surveyed the disaster zone that Fuko lived in. Although she detected no strange odors, the bachelorette's pad she lived in was filled ankle-deep in clothes, empty boxes, books, magazines, loose papers, and plastic shopping bags. Still, hard labor was better than living on the streets.

“Hey Fuko, is that my brother's shirt you're wearing?”

Fuko's arms scrambled to cover up her the old uniform shirt, which had “Saint Dismas Reform School For Boys” clearly printed on, with “TACHIBANA” handwritten on the collar.

“Okay,” she embarrassedly laughed, “now you know my secret. I'm assuming that you're laying low, so I guess I'll tell Takuro to not come over on account of my 'sick aunt' visiting or something.”

...

“You made an excellent choice, dear.” The elderly sales lady handed Eri her purchase in a small black shopping bag. “Though, I can't remember the last time I had a lady buy one for herself.”

Eri discreetly tucked her purchase into her bag and slipped out of the department store. Going to the mall was a risky move, usually she would encounter Kasami and Shou whenever she'd go shopping there. The last thing she wanted was having Shou paw all over her while Kasami congratulates herself for meddling in Eri's love life.

Maybe her love life did need meddling. Not what Kasami did, of course, but her relationship with Yoshiko needed help. Being thousands of miles apart sure was taking its toll. What she needed was something to look forward to, something secure and comforting to reassure her that their uncertain state would end eventually and that they would be happily together again.

And, she kissed a man. Eri never thought about the freedoms she could have with other people while she and Yoshiko were apart. It was never stated, but she assumed that they would be faithful to each other. Eri wondered if she should tell Yoshiko about her date with Shou. She herself wouldn't want to know if Yoshiko was having an affair in America, so should she tell? She did just think of him as a friend, and the kiss was stolen, and she didn't enjoy it, so did Yoshiko really need to know?

“ERI!!!”

Eri shivered at the sound of Kasami's voice. She had been found out.

“Soooo,” Kasami ran around from behind Eri, “I hear that you two really hit it off the other night!”

“Or something. He kissed me.”

“EEEE!” Kasami squealed. “How long before you're gonna be having babies with him?”

“Sometime between never and the apocalypse. He's a nice guy and all but when he's affectionate, he gets weird. And he tastes like a mix between an ashtray and the way feet smell.”

“So when's the next date?”

“Never, if I can help it.”

“Well not so fast,” Kasami said as she handed Eri a fancy embossed card, “if you're going to let him go, do so after we go to his party next weekend.”

Eri read the snazzy invitation addressed to her and Kasami.

“Eh, I'll pass.”

“P-Pleaaaase! There will be lots of rich single guys there and I don't want to go alone!”

“Fine, I'll go for you, but not for Shou.”

After Kasami left, Eri paced around in the mall's atrium, trying to figure out what to do. She sat down on a bench and leafed through the invitation's attached pamphlet, outlining the dress code and list of invited socialites and local personalities.

“Bragging about who's going to show up before they even do? Awfully pretentious of him to... wait a minite...”

...

“So? So? Did you find anything on him? Does he have a record? Is he a murderer? A rapist? A communist?” Yoshiko jumped up from Fuko's home computer as her new roommate came home from work.

“Of course not!” Fuko replied. “'Big ugly shithead' isn't exactly a description we could look someone up with without a name. Can't you ask around instead? Does Eri have one of those social networking profiles? Maybe you could stalk her and find him that way.”

Yoshiko tapped away at the keyboard, continuing to check her email without paying heed to Fuko's suggestion.

“SHOU MUKAI! THAT'S THE FUCKER!”

“See? That wasn't so hard, where'd you find him?”

“Right there!” Yoshiko aggressively tapped at the screen, to Fuko's annoyance. “There's his big ugly head grinning right at me in the letterhead!”

Dear Miss Nicole Fisher,

Your reputation as an author and adventurer has brought pride to our hometown. Please give us the pleasure of your presence and attend my event. I was elated to find that the “Nikki” my girlfriend spoke highly of was none other than yourself. The elite of the city would benefit much from the culture you would bring. No RSVP is necessary, consider yourself one of our honored guests. Directions and date are on the bottom of the page.

-Shou

“Fuko,” Yoshiko grumbled as the veins in her forehead twitched, “if I go to the party and brutally murder this guy, can I get off by claiming it was a crime of passion or something?”

“Since it's not till this weekend, it would mean premeditation. Your best bet would be to pretend you're insane but you know what happens if you go that route...”

“I guess,” Yoshiko buried her head in her crossed arms on the desk, “I'll just have to go there to say goodbye.”

“Isn't it going to be awkward to have your ex living in your house? Are you going to kick her out?”

“No... she deserved someone better than me. I d-don't mind if she lives with my folks until she settles in with Shou. Besides, I'm never at home anyway so what difference would it make?”

“Okay, now you ARE acting insane.”

...

“Ironically,” Yoshiko casually stated to Doctor Takachi's horrified colleagues, “I didn't actually consider suicide until after she had me put away. Death doesn't seem so bad when you spend Christmas strapped down listening to nut jobs pleasuring themselves in the other rooms.”

Doctor Takachi chugged down two more helpings of champagne while her professional reputation was getting ruined again by Miss Tachibana. She was attending the party to mingle and undo the social damage of her recent malpractice lawsuit.

Relief came when Yoshiko found more socialites to piss off.

“Later, Doc!” Yoshiko waved. “Thanks for the truck!”

Yoshiko waded through the herd of snobs, trying to find Eri. It would probably have been easier to just stand still and have Eri find her instead. If her height wasn't enough to make her stick out, her outfit certainly helped. Yoshiko misunderstood the invitation's suggestion of “informal attire” and opted to wear a leather jacket, a camouflage skirt, and a t-shirt with the movie poster for Vampire Lesbian Barbarians from Jupiter printed on. The rest of the crowd were wearing business suits. Not that she would have been able to dress differently anyway; she was all out of clean clothes.

“May I have your attention please?!” The big ugly shithead in the frilly shirt announced from the center of the crowd.

“Some of you might be wondering why I've brought you all here. Well believe it or not, it's not so you can admire my good looks. Well, not his time anyway.”

The guests politely laughed.

“Tonight, I would like to introduce you all to the latest member of the Mukai family...”

Yoshiko tensely watched as her heart got crushed into a bloody mess, just like the champagne flûte that shattered in her hand.

“...to my future wife, Eri!”

Gasp! Oh, the drama!

I normally have a strong dislike of stories that revolve around a "hilarious" misunderstanding, but given that it's you, there's better than average chance it'll turn out well in the end. So by all means, carry on. (Not that my approval would change things one way or another. )

Esa94 wrote:

kosherbacon wrote: “...to my future wife, Eri!”

WHAT

My thoughts exactly.

It has come to my attention that there is no Detective rank among Japanese police. Fuko is now an Assistant Police Inspector.

And here, I finish wringing one more story out of Eri/Yoshiko, for now. My goal here was to do a quick dabble in an almost entirely KS-free environment and to make Eri less one dimensional. Hopefully I succeeded. If not, then stay tuned for my next original character fanfic series, in which I promise:

More sexual deviancy!
More violence!
More occult!
More drugs!
More angst!
More ill-advised first-aid procedures!
More italicized text!
Less lesbians!
And no appearances by canon characters!

================================================================================================================================
Broken Dolls Secret S: High Society
================================================================================================================================

Dear Eri,

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage. Although the time we've known each other has been short, I feel as though I have been watching you from afar my whole life. When you find the time, please come see me. I have something I must confess to you in person.

Love always,
Sayuka

-

“Oh, God.” The bartender shielded his eyes from the sight of Yoshiko digging shards of broken glass out of her palm with a fondue fork. “How can you do that?”

“Eh,” she replied, “I've developed a high tolerance for pain over the years I guess.”

Yoshiko finished extracting bloody shrapnel out of her right hand and bandaged up with the bartender's first-aid kit. She was set to sulk at the bar for a while and then head home. Eri was lost to her. If she was merely going out with Shou, she might have had the courage to face her, but engaged? No way.

“Bourbon on the rocks,” a lady sat at the bar and ordered, “and leave the bottle.”

The blonde filled up the glass and slid it over to Yoshiko before gulping from the bottle herself.

“Thanks for the drink, Miss...”

“Shimada. You can call me Sayuka. I remember you. You're Shinnosuke's ex, aren't you?”

“He felt me up once and I kicked him in the balls. That's about as far as our relationship went.”

“Hah,” Sayuka replied, “I knew he embellished that story as well. Why aren't you partying with everyone else?”

Yoshiko frustratedly swiped her hand from her chin up and around to the back of her head and took a drink.

“I came here to reclaim my love and instead I'm going home with a broken heart. Why aren't you?”

“I'm just here building up the courage to confront someone. I take it you came here to do the same but something killed your drive?”

“Yeah. The woman I love is getting married.”

“My, my. That is quite a situation indeed. You're in love with Shou's girl, right? What'd you do wrong?”

“Eh? If you're here to comfort me, aren't you supposed to tell me that I didn't do anything wrong?”

“Dohohoho,” Sayuka laughed between gulps, “if I was here to comfort you, I would've bought you more than one drink. Now you must've really screwed up if you lost your girl to that loser.”

Yoshiko finished her bourbon and started munching on ice cubes.

“I guess I wasn't mature enough. When she agreed to let me work abroad while she went to school, I thought it was a free pass to do everything I ever wanted to do. Turns out she was probably expecting me to button down and bury myself with books like she is doing.”

Yoshiko turned to her drinking partner and whined, much to Sayuka's annoyance.

“You're mature, right? How do I grow up?”

“Kid, you can't just learn to grow up. You have to do that on your own when faced with a grown-up situation. I thought my dear Shinnosuke was a hopeless lecher and a borderline criminal, but you know what I found out when I gave him the chance? He's a great father. I tried preparing him for years and it turned out that all I needed to do was throw him into the pit with the lions and make him figure his way out.”

“Oh my God,” Yoshiko's eyes bulged with terror, “Shin has a kid?! Er, no offense.”

“None taken. I was quite horrified at the thought myself. So how are you going to deal with this very grown-up problem of yours? You know how families like mine and Shou's handle that sort of thing? Mistresses shared with the wives. I'm sure if you asked Shou, he'd let you stay with your girl and keep her 'entertained' while he's away. You'd just have to put up with being a girl on the side.”

“That's disgusting. I don't want to be a mistress.”

“And you shouldn't. It's shameful. But that's how we elite folks operate. Whenever something is unsightly, whenever something doesn't quite fit the perfect picture we want to portray, we just tuck it away along with all the other dirty little secrets. They tried to do that to me after my accident and again when that filthy rat bastard got me pregnant. You see, even my family has its own secrets. But I'm trying to fix that. It's a horrible cycle that I need to break.”

“And that's why you're here? To get some old burden off your chest?”

“Something like that. I'm still not sure if I could pull it off. I'll probably just hand the person a letter I wrote and run like hell.”

“Maybe I should do that.” Seeing an easy way out, Yoshiko's face lit up with hope. “Got a pen and paper I could use?”

“Nope. None for you to use. You've got less at stake and I can almost guarantee that you'll win. And even if you don't, the person won't hate you for what you have to say like mine would.”

“So you're saying I should just suck it up and speak my mind?”

“Believe me,” Sayuka said while looking with wonder into the bottle she was rapidly draining, “you don't want to let something like that hang over you for the rest of your life. You have to resolve it one way or another.”

“You're just pushing me off like that first penguin to get eaten by sharks, huh?”

“Pretty much,” Sayuka grinned while rapidly turning red from the booze, “if you survive the night, I will do what I have to do.”

As Yoshiko stormed off to win back Eri or die trying, Sayuka rolled up the letter she wrote and dumped it inside the whiskey bottle where it soaked away into mush.

“Maybe some other day...”

...

“Shou!” Eri yelled at her surprise fiancée after finally prying him away from the party to speak to him alone in one of the guest rooms. “What did you mean by 'your future wife?' Is this some kind of joke?”

“Don't be coy, my dear. Surely you can feel the magic between us.”

“No, I don't. I'm sorry, Shou, but I just don't have those kinds of feelings for you.”

“Oh yeah?” Unfazed, Shou leered at Eri while checking the status of his hairdo with his palms. “Then why did you bring me up to this bedroom?”

“N-No, you don't understand. You see, I'm...”

“An orphan? I know that. And it's okay. I've known all along that Nikki wasn't really your sister. Trust me, my family will love you every bit as much as the Tachibanas do.”

“But... me and Nikki are...”

“Both from that same school for disabled kids? I know. Your past condition doesn't bother me. And I've been told that it isn't hereditary...”

“ME AND NIKKI ARE LESBIANS!”

“What?”

“Yoshiko and I are in love.”

Shou sat down and looked visibly shaken for a moment.

“It's okay,” Shou resolutely decided, “I'm okay with it. She can live with us if it'll make you happy.”

“Goddamn!” Yoshiko burst into the doorway after eavesdropping. “Sayuka was right about you people and your mistresses.”

“N-Nikki! I-I can explain! And what happened to your hand?”

“Ah, good. Nicole, or is it Nikki? Or Yoshiko? ...Whatever. I'm glad to finally meet you.”

“What the hell do you think you're doing to my Eri?”

“My betrothed and I were discussing living arrangements. Would you like to join our household?”

Yoshiko looked past Shou and saw Eri, trembling with confusion and distress, grabbing wads of her dress with her hands and squeezing nervously.

“Okay. I'll do it.”

“W-What?” Eri cried out. “No!”

“I'll be your girlfriend, Shou, if it means getting to stay by Eri's side. That is, if she still wants me around. Just be warned that I am a lot to put up with. I can't really blame her for finding someone else.”

“Please Nikki...” Eri mumbled. “Don't...”

“I'm okay with this if it's what will make you happy. I've been too frivolous with your feelings lately and I've taken you for granted. But now I know that I can't bear to not have you as a part of my life.”

“No, Nikki, it's not like that...”

“I'm glad we could come to some agreement,” Shou reached out and shook Yoshiko's hand, “I hope we become very good friends.”

“SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU!”

Eri's sudden snap silenced the room and grabbed the attention of both Yoshiko and Shou. Red in the face, Eri stomped towards them and wedged herself in between.

“Shou, I don't love you and I can't be made to love you. I would say that I only like you as a friend but now I can't even say that because you're a total dick. I only hung out with you that one time as a friend and that kiss you took from me made me puke. You need to see a dentist or something. And stop telling people that we're getting married! I mean shit, you haven't even ASKED ME!”

Eri took a few deep breaths to switch gears and turned her attention to Yoshiko.

“And as for you, Yoshiko, I love you to death but please consult me whenever you make decisions that affect the nature of our relationship, even if you're trying to be selfless and noble. I would gladly follow you wherever you go in the world, but please, please give me some advance warning before you do something drastic again. I just want to make sure that there is still room for me in your life, wherever you end up.”

“So... you don't want to be Shou's wife?”

“Ew,” Eri lightened up and stuck out her tongue, “that weirdo? No, I'd much rather be yours.”

“Wait,” Yoshiko stumbled back, shocked, “d-did you just say...”

Eri reached into her purse and retrieved a small box she bought earlier that week, which she decided to bring with her after she saw that Yoshiko was on the guest list.

“Yoshiko,” Eri said with a heavy sigh as she snapped the box open, “you're everything I'm not. You're brave, spontaneous, charismatic, lively, cultured, witty, and I love you. Will you be my wife?”

Yoshiko tried choking out an answer and almost fainted. With her eyes darting around, she slowly came to her senses.

“Tch... chk.... YES!”

Eri slid the ring onto Yoshiko's finger and ecstatically kissed her.

“Wow,” Yoshiko flicked her adorned finger around, admiring the sparkles that emanated, “this is one hell of a ring. This must have cost you a fortune.”

“It did,” Eri smiled, “but your mom refuses to let me pay rent and my allowance got bigger...”

“Oh! But... you got me this nice ring and you don't have anything to wear from me.”

Yoshiko fumbled around in her pocket and placed a keyring with a house key hanging off of it onto Eri's left ring finger.

“What's this?”

“It's the key to our house.”

“O-O-Our house?”

“Yup! It's in Arborville, Massachusetts.”

“Nikki!” Eri shuddered. “This is what I was talking about, you doing crazy things without asking me. You want me to move there with you? I can't even speak English!”

“It was a surprise.” Yoshiko did her best at looking pitiful, but her puppy-dog eyes were fooling nobody. “It's so that when I finally grow up and when you're finished with school, we'll have a big house to come home to and start a family. This isn't one of my crazy schemes. I thought about this a lot and I know you were worried that you didn't have a future with me to look forward to. Well now you do.”

“You...” Eri tried scolding Yoshiko but was too touched to do so. “...really? But why Massachusetts?”

“We can get officially married there. I told you I thought this through.”

“Nikki...” Eri completely lost her ability to speak and buried her head in Yoshiko's chest.

“Ah-HEM!” A thoroughly neglected Shou coughed out to make his presence known. “Before you two lovebirds elope, tell me, Eri, if I was a woman and Yoshiko was a man, would you still chose her over me?”

“Of course I'd chose Yoshiko, as long as she or he was still Yoshiko.”

“Yeah, dude. You never had a chance to begin with.”

With a black cloud hovering overhead, Shou banged his head against the wall and dislodged some of the spiky blonde hair extensions that jutted from his bangs.

“Hey Nikki,” Eri pulled her other fiancée by the unwounded hand towards the door, “let's go back downstairs. After all, it is my engagement party!”

Shou moped his way down the stairs after the girls left the bedroom to go dance, eat, and drink the night away. He was greeted at the bottom by a not-too-slightly inebriated Sayuka, who had postponed her mission until the day of Eri and Yoshiko's wedding, whenever that was.

“Why so sad, buddy?” She asked.

“I don't get it. That girl of hers is just unsophisticated riff-raff. I could've taken care of anything she wanted and shown her a whole world she would never see while married to such common folk.”

“You think she cares about status like you do? Puh-leeze!”

“Come on, you know everyone cares about class. Maybe if I was higher up the ladder, you know, up there with your family, things would be different. We do pretty well for ourselves but you guys could probably bribe the moon out of orbit if you tried.”

“Nope, she'd still chose the girl. Besides, she's already how do you say, 'moon-bribingly rich.'”

“I don't understand...”

Sayuka threw her arm around Shou's shoulders and laughed at the poor dolt.

“You tried to marry that girl without even knowing who she really is?! That's Eriko, my sister.”

The spoiler message simply blows mind.