Lost in Translation - A Shizune Prequel

[Mirage_GSM]

I took up sign because my daughter was diagnosed with severe sensorineural hearing loss, and teaching here as part of an arrangement for when she eventually enrolls.

Typo here.

It took me a while to see what typo you mean here. For me the sentence made perfect sense. Then I read it a slightly different way and saw what you were getting at. Consider this:
"I took up sign [because x] and teaching here as part of an arrangement for when she eventually enrolls."
This version should lose the comma, though.

The Shizune X Hanako story would be interesting. has been done only one or two times before, and never post bad end iIrc.

[griffon8]

Well this was better than I thought it was going to be. Leaty mentioned the same problem I usually have with prequels. A lot of the problem I had with the Star Wars prequels was their sense of inevitability. I can’t feel any tension for a scene if I know certain characters are absolutely going to walk out of it alive.

I guess the threat of death doesn’t hover over non-action stories as much though. Oh, wait, this is Katawa Shoujo. I’m so, so sorry for that. Not really.

Huh, nobody else noticed the typo in the second sentence of chapter two.

I can tell that my alarm clock has gone off at the set time of 7:00 AM, tuning on my lamp in the process.

[Blank Mage]

It's an understandable stance. My only real reason for writing this is because it seems so obvious. Yamaku Year 1 is so heavily referenced, and so important to Shizune's route, that it's incredible no one has touched it yet. I only have three canon points that must occur:

Obliterate the standing Student Council.
Destroy a friendship between cousins.
Ruin Misha.

...It's gonna be a fun time!

And don't get me started on Star Wars. Just the script makes me want to hurt people.

For example:

Obi Wan: Only a Sith deals in absolute. I will do what I must.

You just used 2 absolutes! Right there! And you know what makes this worse?!

Obi Wan: Emperor Palpatine is evil!
Anakin: From my point of view the Jedi are evil!

A third! And Anakin apparently hates using them, because if ever there was a time to use one, it was right there. Also, this dude just slaughtered a room full of children. Is he seriously lecturing Obi on this? How could he possibly be confident in his decisions?! He tried to kill the girl he was doing all of this to save in the first place! And since Hayden can't act, what should have been unstoppable rage just comes off as teen angst!

They clearly wanted the kid audience when they made wacky attack droids and their chronic coughing leader, to say nothing of the entire Gungan race, but then they chopped off Anakin's limbs and set him on fire! Why was Count Dooku even a thing?! This scene! There's so much wrong, I can't even! Done! ANGRY.

*chapter 3 sometime this week.

[brythain]

It's an understandable stance. My only real reason for writing this is because it seems so obvious. Yamaku Year 1 is so heavily referenced, and so important to Shizune's route, that it's incredible no one has touched it yet.

Wait wait, I have... though not as much as you.
But mine was a [Lilly].

[Blank Mage]

Wait wait, I have... though not as much as you.
But mine was a [Lilly].

Rereading your epilouges always serves to remind me that I am terrible at this. Why didn't I start with a meaningful prologue!? God damn! So poignant! All I have is a bitter attitude and snarky commentary, and Leaty already dominates that field like a beast.

Okay, self depreciation over, back to writing. At the very least, I hope to release a chapter once every 2 weeks or so. I may not be happy with the quality, but I'd rather submit something rough than sit around over thinking it for weeks on end.

[brythain]

Wait wait, I have... though not as much as you.
But mine was a [Lilly].

Rereading your epilogues always serves to remind me that I am terrible at this. Why didn't I start with a meaningful prologue!? God damn! So poignant! All I have is a bitter attitude and snarky commentary, and Leaty already dominates that field like a beast.

Okay, self depreciation over, back to writing. At the very least, I hope to release a chapter once every 2 weeks or so. I may not be happy with the quality, but I'd rather submit something rough than sit around over thinking it for weeks on end.

Yeah, my first Lilly was a rather weak attempt, then Oddball hammered it and that was the last straw after a few. So I got out my notes and finished 'Testament', which in retrospect was better. You can always go back to that later on; a prologue before a prequel is fine.

[Leaty]

All I have is a bitter attitude and snarky commentary, and Leaty already dominates that field like a beast.

I'm pretty much a dragon, except that I hoard quips and angst.

[HipsterJoe]

Am I allowed to post on this? I feel like I missed the "Epic Level Authors & Above" restriction somewhere.

I'm really excited for this story, not only because your avatar is Okarin denoting that you are both a gentleman and a scholar. Shizune was my favorite girl from KS, and I love the voice you've given her. She may be constantly judging people, but it isn't malicious. I was also chuckling out loud the whole time I read this so that's another plus in the stories favor. I'm looking forward to your take on the events leading up to KS.

[Blank Mage]

Am I allowed to post on this? I feel like I missed the "Epic Level Authors & Above" restriction somewhere.

I still feel like I'm getting away with something here. Like one day someone will say 'Wait a minute! This story isn't very good!' and then everyone will suddenly catch on and I'll have to go into hiding. I'm certainly not epic. But comment on everything, all of us secretly crave validation. Except me. I'm quite open about it.

I'm really excited for this story, not only because your avatar is Okarin denoting that you are both a gentleman and a scholar.

Then you'll be happy to know that I am a real life Kyouma. I'm annoyingly eloquent and long winded, I work in a lab, and I power through about 7 cans of Dr. Pepper a day. It's disturbing, really.

I actually have chapter 3 just about done, but my computer hasn't had Internet access for the past week. Sorry for the delay.

[HipsterJoe]

Am I allowed to post on this? I feel like I missed the "Epic Level Authors & Above" restriction somewhere.

I'm certainly not epic...

I was originally going to say "Epic Level Authors & Above... and Blank Mage," but belittling an author on their own thread on my first day seemed gauche.

I actually have chapter 3 just about done, but my computer hasn't had Internet access for the past week. Sorry for the delay.

I'll shut up now and impatiently wait for the next chapter.

[Alpacalypse]

Epic authors restriction

Mate, if there was a restriction on only epic authors posting in the fanfic section, I'd have been chucked off these forums before I could have typed my sig

[brythain]

Am I allowed to post on this? I feel like I missed the "Epic Level Authors & Above" restriction somewhere.

I like how you were being so polite about long-winded people with too much to say and not enough time to say it.

However, it should be 'Authors Who Have Written A Third Chapter Or More'.

Kidding. I just re-read LiT—see, now BM, you have joined the group of 'Authors Whose Fics Have Acronyms'—and I'm struck by how much more there is about Lilly relative to the other members of her family and extended family. Hmmmm.

[Blank Mage]

I'm struck by how much more there is about Lilly relative to the other members of her family and extended family. Hmmmm.

Shizune strikes me as the type to ignore anything that she doesn't consider immediately pertinent. Besides, I haven't gotten the hang of larger word counts, particularly when the core of my story involves Shizune's inability to communicate casually.

I won't give too much of what I have planned away, but I like to imagine Shizune and Lilly's early years as something akin to Calvin and Hobbes: a competitive and quick thinking egomaniac, grounded by a more mature and rational counterpart. They work well as a team, because Shizune needs an anchor as much as Lilly needs impetus. Unfortunately, people change...

[Blank Mage]

I wrote a thing in another thread. I should probably have informed you guys over here.

[Blank Mage]

Quick Update: I still have every intention of writing Chapter three at some point, and I apologize for the delay. As it stands, what I have written doesn't flow very well, which is a problem I've had for the first two chapters as well. It's rather difficult setting up a decent narrative when your lead can only use a notepad to talk, and is otherwise incapable of participating in conversations. It makes character development next to impossible. I'd spend more time using internal monologues, but Shizune's internal monologue is incredibly dry. It's a conundrum. I guess I can just hammer out chapter 3, be unhappy with it, and hope that the introduction of Misha gives a little more flexibility to what's swiftly becoming Katawa Shoujo House of Cards. But enough complaining, eh?

More importantly, I'm writing this on my brand new laptop, an extremely overqualified Toshiba that I can put to work writing during my frequent downtime in the lab. (God, I love my job.) If I don't have chapter 3 where I want it by the end of the month, I'll just grit my teeth and post it anyway. I know myself well enough to know that if I keep extending my own deadlines like this, it'll just become another dropped project of mine. (That being said, I have an idea for a Sonic fic I've been embellishing for the past decade. More accurately, a Tails fic... NO, BAD, THINK ABOUT SHIZUNE.)