Katawa Shoujo Forums

I figured this would be the best place to post this. But it might not make any sense.
So I think that I have finally gotten myself to a "normal". Like I feel comfortable with myself, and am not in complete emotional disarray. This is not to say that I don't feel anymore, I like to devote an hour before I go to bed to Ks and Rin related things, because I enjoy and the feels help me to remember.
But I just don't know what to do with myself. I can't help myself. Sometimes it feels like there is a storm in my head and words and thoughts get very hard, but It seems to be at a calm right now. I think maybe trying to find a girl would help, but at the same time I feel like it wouldn't. Because it wouldn't be the same. I know that there are women out there that are just like Rin, but it is extremely unlikely that I would be able to find one and get one. Playing Rin's route is like playing a demo to the universe's most perfect video game. Only to realize that the game will never be finished or released. But that doesn't stop me from wanting it. And god do I want it. I just don't know if I'll be able to connect with another person, since the only person I've ever connected with isn't even real.

Sgt Spice wrote: I know that there are women out there that are just like Rin, but it is extremely unlikely that I would be able to find one and get one.

Your first mistake was trying to find a girl 'just like Rin'.

Xanatos wrote:
Your first mistake was trying to find a girl 'just like Rin'.

Why? If you want something shouldn't you try to look for it?

Sgt Spice wrote:

Xanatos wrote:
Your first mistake was trying to find a girl 'just like Rin'.

Why? If you want something shouldn't you try to look for it?

Because 'just like Rin' does not exist any more than 'just like The Great Gazoo'.

Sgt Spice wrote:

Xanatos wrote:
Your first mistake was trying to find a girl 'just like Rin'.

Why? If you want something shouldn't you try to look for it?

It's not the message that should be received from KS. Pretty sure Xanatos is going to reply, so I'm going to just be lazy and wait for him to explain.

edit: Ninja'd.

Sgt Spice wrote: Why? If you want something shouldn't you try to look for it?

Whatever you want in life, you should go after it. There's no other way to live.

Finding a girl like Rin might be tough, but if that's your thing, go for it.

I think what Xanatos was getting at (I'm never quite sure) is to keep an open mind. Looking for a "Rin," is good, but don't rule out others because they don't fit the "profile." People will surprise and delight you if you give them enough time.

So go after what you want, but don't be afraid to see what's happening along the way.

They do have a point Sgt. Looking for someone who's just like a dream girl in a video game is just setting yourself up for dissapointment. Trust me, I have 30+ years of experience looking for a partner who fits a certain set of criteria, and I've just ended up alone and unhappy.

Look for someone who compliments your personality, and whom you can be friends with.

SemisoftCheese wrote: I think what Xanatos was getting at (I'm never quite sure) is to keep an open mind. Looking for a "Rin," is good, but don't rule out others because they don't fit the "profile." People will surprise and delight you if you give them enough time.

I get this, it's not like i'm only trying to find a "Rin". I understand that the message of the game is to not try and find the girls in real life, but I can't really help it. I know it's just a game and I keep it at that. I guess what I really want is just someone, anyone, who I can connect too. But is also real.

I understand I'm probably not going to find my dream girl, no matter how hard I look. But it's not going to stop me from trying, even if I don't succeed.

Sgt Spice wrote:I understand I'm probably not going to find my dream girl, no matter how hard I look. But it's not going to stop me from trying, even if I don't succeed.

There ya go.

Some guy mentioned a Rin lookalike in the HBHC a while back. Maybe ask him.

Xanatos wrote: Some guy mentioned a Rin lookalike in the HBHC a while back. Maybe ask him.

I remember. But I think that would be too creepy.

"Hey where do you live so I can stalk a Rin lookalike?"

Sgt Spice wrote:

Xanatos wrote: Some guy mentioned a Rin lookalike in the HBHC a while back. Maybe ask him.

I remember. But I think that would be too creepy.

"Hey where do you live so I can stalk a Rin lookalike?"

That's not creepy at all. I find that perfectly logical.

So this is my first post on the forums and also most likely one of my last due to not overcommitting to online forums and such. Though I have been reading a couple of 50 pages in these forums. I do not know where to put this so Hanako's Broken Heart Club seemed right I guess. I’m going to post a wall of word containing a bit about my personal life in comparison to KS and round off with some questions, for those who don’t wanna read this can just skip to the question(or the whole post). This cannot compare to most of the stories here since I have not experienced as many traumatic events as many people here. This will probably be a light-weighter for most, but I just need to let it out. Here goes:

I started playing KS because I wanted to try a sim pick-up game or whatever it’s called, not knowing how deep KS could strike someone. My first run through I had no idea of the concept of the game so I would just choose someone I found cute. Little did I know that running into(literally) this little angel in the hallway would mean so much to me. So I ended up playing Emi’s arc. When I found out she was a runner and an athlete I just thought “Ey, she’s a bit like me”. This was an understatement. Now I’m thinking “She’s just like me”. When Hisao followed Emi to the graveyard, “the feels” really set in. My father died just two months ago so this was really hard to deal with.

And now I could start to see the end of the jig saw. How me and Emi are so alike. How I have many friends but barely any best friends, maybe due to fright of losing one. Going back to the start of my post: afraid of committing. How I, among my friends, am considered the happy-go-lucky guy. And how I could just hang out with my friends, crack jokes, smile etc. even though I could have these big upsets inside of me. The superficial relationship some years back. Heck, we even share the same favorite color. How I too distance myself from things, even my father’s death, just so I won’t get hurt. How I did, and still am doing, my crying in the rain.

I got the good ending with Emi. Luckily I might add. Finishing her story really hurt… I lost the one person whom I could relate to. Her story ending meant that there would be no more Emi. I have tried reading fanart or what’s it called, but this really doesn’t do it for me. It’s comforting for the feels, but it does not give me the same Emi and the same relation. Finishing Emi’s arc made me realize how lonely I am. How much I crave for a girl to just have in my arms. To blindly love, not thinking about tomorrow.

For all the haters: I’m in love with Emi. This does not mean I’m obsessed by her. This does not mean I won’t fall in love with other girls. This does not mean I will never find a girl like Emi. Correction: this does not mean I’m looking for a girl like Emi, because I will never find a girl like Emi. Emi is for me the perfect girl, but she’s fictional; all made up 4LS(God bless 'em). But what I can do is find a girl who represents the same feelings as I have for Emi, the fictional character. Emi helped me see myself in a way I have never done before. How I'm trying my best to channel the feels to make me motivated. I read a post about someone saying something about blaming the exterior in contrary to the interior; this made me realize I have to reconsider my actions towards others. That blaming the exterior will only sink you deeper in the ocean of despair.

I finished Emi’s arc 6 days ago, 3am in the morning. It took a day before the tears came, but when they did, the dam breached and all the feelings from my father’s death came back to me, feelings I had tried to suppress. The feelings of sudden emptiness have not completely subsided to this day.

I cannot talk to anybody about this, because of the obvious reason that what triggered me was a goddamn VN, which for me is a bit embarrassing(no offense to anyone). I might try to “force” KS upon the only friend that I think I could talk to about anything. But so far I will find my comfort in reading the forums here and feel that I am not alone.

NOW FOR THE QUESTIONS. For those few of you who have read through this little “confession” of mine; here are the questions this soup have boiled down to. Each girl have their own set of problems in which the reader can relate to, their own audience. I’m pretty sure I got mine on my first playthrough. Will I have the same “feel” after finishing the other girls? Could there be another girl I can relate to as much as I did with Emi? Will there be any point in doing so? And if so, in what order? Right after finishing I regret playing it. I did not ask for these feelings, I was just fine without them. But now, I think I want them back at some point. I have read that many of you are playing new VNs or watching anime, this will not do it for me as I can't find time to spend many hours finding these feels. That's why KS will probably be the only VN for me; 5-6 hours to get ripped apart before building yourself up again to be a stronger person.

This was my first of possibly few posts here, please cut me some slack for tormenting you with this wall of text! But be aware, there might come more, as more and more feeling reveal themselves through the course of days!

EmiIsMoreThAnal wrote:Will I have the same “feel” after finishing the other girls? Could there be another girl I can relate to as much as I did with Emi?

We can't predict your future, ya know...

But do the other routes. Order is largely irrelevant (but do Shizune's last).

First off, welcome to the forums.
Second, your name is very clever/amusing.

Xanatos wrote:But do the other routes. Order is largely irrelevant (but do Shizune's last).

I can't tell if that's because you're saying save the best for last, or the save the most boring for last

Thanks for your post. You sound perfectly normal to me. Loving Emi, but being realistic about it. And its great that the games managed to help you let go of some of what you've kept inside. That's healthy, and what makes KS such a wonder tool for good. And yes, I hear you about needign someone to hold and be with. That same need has been torturing me for years.

As for the other arc, yes by all means do them. I can almost guarantee that Lily and Hanako will grab you just as much as Emi. Rin, maybe. That tends to vary from person to person.

There really isn't a best order. But if I had to choose, I'd go with Hanako next. Then Rin, because you'll need a break. Then Lily, and yes, save Shizune til the end. Then be sure to come back and tell you how you're doing.