Excellent story. In-character, well written, interesting to read, and quite satisfying as a happy (but not emptily-so) continuation of the good end. I particularly liked how the sex scenes were sweet but also a real part of the story, in spirit of the original game.
The only thing that I think would improve it is if it had actual narration instead of things like *giggle* and (glare). And that thoughts-in-parentheses formatting was a poor choice.
Among the little things, the reference to the manly picnic made me laugh.
Lilly receiving the "Hanako Bad End" shouting is something I have to commend. Re-using established elements or scenes is not always a good idea, but in this case it felt very appropriate.
Gotta say though, I'd have liked the story more with the therapist less prominent. I wonder what my friend who is a therapist would think of her. Anyway, I'd prefer if Hisao's actions originated less with her advice, and more with his own insights/motivations, and I didn't like how she predicted the good outcome before it happened - it made it feel a bit anticlimactic and "therapist-guided", unlike the Good End in the game. If I were introducing such a character, I'd make her purely professional, limited to taking on the psychological traumas but reticent about her patient's relationships. Maybe it's just me, though.
“Shizune was bored and she convinced them to take you there? I see.” - yeah, totally realistic, repeating a phone conversation for the reader's benefit
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Such a tease with that kiss thing at the end, hehe. What can I say. It's hard to explain to the shipper in me that that would have made no real sense.
Actually, I liked the way the possibility of Lilly liking Hisao was brought up and used earlier. It's the kind of confusion that made sense for Hanako and Hisao to have at that point, when Lilly was being quiet about her parents' summons and her friends didn't know what was going on with her.
BTW, did this part ever get followed up on?
If you manage to reconcile with Miss Ikezawa, I may have a small gift for her that I’d like to present to you…nothing serious, just something I just thought of.”
“You’re making me curious.”
“All the more reason to try and sort things out as soon as you can, isn’t it?”
Did I miss something, do we ever find out what the gift was?
(I wish I could put my finger on why, but that last line annoyed me. It just kinda felt... presumptuous and out of place. I'm not sure I can put into words why, though, but maybe anyone else felt the same way?)
Anyway. Overall, a very good read.
