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Re: Rika Story - updated 5/8/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Wed May 09, 2012 9:36 am
by CrossRook
You're a beautiful person bro, don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/8/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 12:33 pm
by Zombiedude101
Seriously, I've not read such an excellently written and lengthed fan fiction in, well ever.

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/8/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 11:13 pm
by m19htym0u53
A bit of fun I had mad libbing the lyrics to fit KS. For rikabro!

Fresh Prince of Yama-Ku

Now, this is a novel all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a school called Yama-ku

In the big city born and raised
With my three best friends there I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some s-ball outside of the school
But there was this girl
She was up to no good
Started making her confession to me
I had one little heart attack and my doc got scared
And said 'You're movin' to a special school they call Yama-ku'

I waited and moped around day after day
'Till they kicked me out and sent me on my way
They gave me a class and gave me my seat.
Gave 'em my intro and said, 'I might as well try it'.

First class, yo this is bad
Hangin out with a deaf girl, yeah.
Is this what the people of Yama-Ku like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait I hear shes bossy, domineerin' and all that
Are these the type of kids that I should hang out with?
I don't think so
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Yama-Ku

Well, the teach gave me my assignment and gave me my partner
There was this chick, Shic-Chan signing my name out
I ain't trying to get drafted for a club just yet
I just got here
I walked to the bus and like lightnin' flash saw this girl

I whistled for the bus and when it came near
Got on with this girl, her eyes like dice in the mirror
If anything I can say that this chance was rare
So I thought 'Yeah, lets do it' - 'Yo homes to Yama-Ku'

I pulled up to the dorms later that night
And I yelled to her, said 'Yo girl see ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Yama-Ku

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/8/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 11:23 pm
by Elcor
Gotta say very impressive you did the entire song. Well done.

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/8/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Sun May 13, 2012 3:26 am
by BlackWaltzTheThird
m19htym0u53 wrote:A bit of fun I had mad libbing the lyrics to fit KS. For rikabro!

<snip>
Just want to say, while I'm sure many would appreciate your efforts, here is probably not the best place to have posted that. In addtition, while it is true you have changed the lyrics to fit Hisao's situation rather well, many of the lines no longer rhyme. In future, you would want to work on that.
Cheers, BlackWaltz.

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/8/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 10:19 am
by kuniqs
Wow. You, Sir, made me waste half of a day reading all of this ;)
BTW. Are you an immigrant, Rikabro?
This is first femme fatale story in which I actually root for the woman. Hisao is a true moron for thinking he could change her. Either throw her back or embrace what's coming for ya man, knowing you'll be used sooner or later. She's a great manipulator, I'm jealous.
One more thing - is there a Saki route fanfic here?

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/8/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 11:49 am
by Gilrond
kuniqs wrote:One more thing - is there a Saki route fanfic here?
Yes.

http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t=5923

A WIP by themocaw. Read it, it's awesome :)

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/8/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 12:25 pm
by kuniqs
Gilrond wrote:
kuniqs wrote:One more thing - is there a Saki route fanfic here?
Yes.

http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t=5923

A WIP by themocaw. Read it, it's awesome :)
Why thank You. I'll waste rest of my day on it! :twisted:

Leitmotifs

Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 3:07 pm
by Leaty
I've wanted a fic like this to exist for ages now, and it just keeps getting better. I love how Rika is characterized in such a way that her personality doesn't come off as a remix of one of the main love interests. She's completely independent, and it's awesome.

I'm not sure if this is the kind of thing anybody cares about, but since every love interest has their own leitmotif in the game, my personal song for Rika is End of Small Sanctuary. I actually do play it when I read Rika scenes, because I take my fanfics seriously and I like soundtrack accompaniment.

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/7/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 3:27 pm
by Guest
Dick-Butt wrote:It seems like the drama and conversations in this last part don't necessarily match up with the preceding events. I mean, Hisao could have just as easily said "No, Emi, you're wrong, because I do actually care, I was just a retard and lost my ration of meds for the weekend, not trying to kill myself because Rika wants to live on the edge. Also, she split half her pills with me and I thought we'd be alright to fuck without my heart exploding but I was wrong, sorry about that."
I think he was pretty much mind-absent at that moment that he could be considered unconcious, considering lack of his medicine
Dick-Butt wrote: Also the stuff about Rika trying to use Hisao as a replacement for previous nameless dead kid would have been relevant to bring up at any point, so I don't know why it comes up now. I guess because just nearly dying might put someone into no-bullshit-mode.
He was on strings 24h a day, bro. She's a maaan eaater..


She's written so good I literally won't be getting her out of my head for a day or two, so I ponder of an armor piercing question to ask her, something that would force her into suicide or make her a much worse person. When arriving in Yamaku she's a girl with low self-esteem and generally fed up with world, but not with too much ill will. With Emi's help she's able to overcome depression.. for some time. Then she's using Shin as an emotional leverage (I guess she played with him like with Hisao and he was a bit more lucid), quickly falls back much deeper than before, not suprising he was maybe the only thing she shared some emotions with and first to show her her true self. I guess before she was more of a shy girl template. Most of malice was born when he dumped her. All that 'witch' shenanigans helped her give up any little hope for world she had. Don't know if she got the slacker attitude after Shin messed with her or if he was the one to encourage it.

Passions/hobbys - virtually none. Maybe if you consider screwing with people as a hobby.. Her lacking of any dedicated pasttime + no plans for the future (short lifespan is only half reason) implies emotional burnout. Only thing keeping her alive now is getting more and more high at other's expense. Experience anything, no matter how counter-productive (smoking, stealing Hisao's pills..). Typicall.
Philosophy - apathic view that nothing matters in long time if you don't have life to use it. Coward, afraid that pursuing any path will end before reaping the fruits. Has only words to back up her arguments (that affair with bears/roof/tree doesn't matter, since she places no value on her life) and said clearly that she's afraid of pursuing realtionship with Hisao. One could say she's a bit like Socrates - rational but using reason mostly for fooling around, not caring about anything material (Still having annoying levels of self pity). As for that death fixation.. her reactions in second sex scene + 'beaten dog' aftermath prove she doesn't really know what she's talking about.
Attitude - selfish, out of touch, manipulative. Most she expects from relationships are things that will make her feel better. Doesn't have strong emotional feelings or oppinions about aquitances or friends. Quite likely sociopathy learned from too much hospital isolation and keeping in touch with people on the edge. All her 'mirror image' thing originates from isolation and maybe misunderstandment, or even from desire to be with someone so great like herself.
Future - probably getting married to some old prick and persuading money out of him. Continue ad nauseum.

Conclusion: she reminds me too much of U. Kanzaki and a strange mix of Rin and Emi. I suggest prolonged medium-intensity torture session, I'm curious how long it will take until she'll beg either for release or death. Since her death ramblings originate mostly from emotions, I advice putting her through one of those more bloody suicide attempts. People like her often get 'knocked back' to reality and radically change their life view, even if only for a moment (I know from my example how fast I remembered how worthy life is). That would be humilating.
Or maybe throwing her into total isolation for a month or two a'la Shawshank. Let's see how strong her worldview is.

Still can't get the question right. Rikabro, you've messed my sleeping shedule..

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/8/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 4:12 pm
by nemz
That last post felt like I'd just stumbled upon the diary of a serial killer open to a random page. WTF?

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/7/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 4:58 pm
by DanjaDoom
Guest wrote:
Dick-Butt wrote:It seems like the drama and conversations in this last part don't necessarily match up with the preceding events. I mean, Hisao could have just as easily said "No, Emi, you're wrong, because I do actually care, I was just a retard and lost my ration of meds for the weekend, not trying to kill myself because Rika wants to live on the edge. Also, she split half her pills with me and I thought we'd be alright to fuck without my heart exploding but I was wrong, sorry about that."
I think he was pretty much mind-absent at that moment that he could be considered unconcious, considering lack of his medicine
Dick-Butt wrote: Also the stuff about Rika trying to use Hisao as a replacement for previous nameless dead kid would have been relevant to bring up at any point, so I don't know why it comes up now. I guess because just nearly dying might put someone into no-bullshit-mode.
He was on strings 24h a day, bro. She's a maaan eaater..


She's written so good I literally won't be getting her out of my head for a day or two, so I ponder of an armor piercing question to ask her, something that would force her into suicide or make her a much worse person. When arriving in Yamaku she's a girl with low self-esteem and generally fed up with world, but not with too much ill will. With Emi's help she's able to overcome depression.. for some time. Then she's using Shin as an emotional leverage (I guess she played with him like with Hisao and he was a bit more lucid), quickly falls back much deeper than before, not suprising he was maybe the only thing she shared some emotions with and first to show her her true self. I guess before she was more of a shy girl template. Most of malice was born when he dumped her. All that 'witch' shenanigans helped her give up any little hope for world she had. Don't know if she got the slacker attitude after Shin messed with her or if he was the one to encourage it.

Passions/hobbys - virtually none. Maybe if you consider screwing with people as a hobby.. Her lacking of any dedicated pasttime + no plans for the future (short lifespan is only half reason) implies emotional burnout. Only thing keeping her alive now is getting more and more high at other's expense. Experience anything, no matter how counter-productive (smoking, stealing Hisao's pills..). Typicall.
Philosophy - apathic view that nothing matters in long time if you don't have life to use it. Coward, afraid that pursuing any path will end before reaping the fruits. Has only words to back up her arguments (that affair with bears/roof/tree doesn't matter, since she places no value on her life) and said clearly that she's afraid of pursuing realtionship with Hisao. One could say she's a bit like Socrates - rational but using reason mostly for fooling around, not caring about anything material (Still having annoying levels of self pity). As for that death fixation.. her reactions in second sex scene + 'beaten dog' aftermath prove she doesn't really know what she's talking about.
Attitude - selfish, out of touch, manipulative. Most she expects from relationships are things that will make her feel better. Doesn't have strong emotional feelings or oppinions about aquitances or friends. Quite likely sociopathy learned from too much hospital isolation and keeping in touch with people on the edge. All her 'mirror image' thing originates from isolation and maybe misunderstandment, or even from desire to be with someone so great like herself.
Future - probably getting married to some old prick and persuading money out of him. Continue ad nauseum.

Conclusion: she reminds me too much of U. Kanzaki and a strange mix of Rin and Emi. I suggest prolonged medium-intensity torture session, I'm curious how long it will take until she'll beg either for release or death. Since her death ramblings originate mostly from emotions, I advice putting her through one of those more bloody suicide attempts. People like her often get 'knocked back' to reality and radically change their life view, even if only for a moment (I know from my example how fast I remembered how worthy life is). That would be humilating.
Or maybe throwing her into total isolation for a month or two a'la Shawshank. Let's see how strong her worldview is.

Still can't get the question right. Rikabro, you've messed my sleeping shedule..

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/7/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 5:28 pm
by Spry
Guest wrote: Creepy wall o' text
Who are you? You really took your time on analyzing the character.Although I agree with you on most parts I though it was only an analysis until I read the conclusion
Seriously, that's pretty fucking twisted.

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/7/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 6:08 pm
by Titus
Guest wrote:All this.
Good post, but that last bit will only convince her her life is valuable by torturing and scaring the shit out of her, and she'll be traumatized for life. Or maybe she'll just give up and die anyway. By the way it wasn't what Rika had in mind for walking the line between life and death :mrgreen:

How about with love instead? It's slow and aggravating but it'll all be worth it in the end. Think good thoughts and don't wander into the path of sadism :mrgreen:

Re: Rika Story - updated 5/8/2012 (mature content)

Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 11:20 pm
by Rikabro
A week with no updates is very un-bro of me. I'm posting something new tonight, though. It's written and I just have to iron it out a touch. It won't be the conclusion, but it's leading up to it.

In the meantime, I wanted to thank you guys for all the very nice replies, and even the not-so-nice ones. Awesome to see new readers that are coming here and having a look at this. That's just the kind of encouragement I need.
m19htym0u53 wrote:A bit of fun I had mad libbing the lyrics to fit KS. For rikabro!
I laughed heartily. Thank you. Loved the bus part and I'm glad you picked up the eyes-like-dice thing.
Leaty wrote:I'm not sure if this is the kind of thing anybody cares about, but since every love interest has their own leitmotif in the game, my personal song for Rika is End of Small Sanctuary. I actually do play it when I read Rika scenes, because I take my fanfics seriously and I like soundtrack accompaniment.
It is precisely the kind of thing I care about. I've actually thought a lot about what her theme song would be, myself. My mind usually goes to JRPG soundtracks and I've narrowed it down to either "June Mermaid" from Xenogears or "Lost Child of Time" from Chrono Cross. I also found that I've spent a lot of time listening to Mono while writing, so maybe that counts as theme music, too. In particular the song "Are You There?"

But these aren't canon just because I say so. I quite like the song you linked and I think it suits Rika very well.
kuniqs wrote:BTW. Are you an immigrant, Rikabro?
What a strange question! I was born and raised in Canada. If you meant in the KS forums, then yes, I come from 4chan's /vg/ board.
Guest wrote:Passions/hobbys - virtually none. Maybe if you consider screwing with people as a hobby.. Her lacking of any dedicated pasttime + no plans for the future (short lifespan is only half reason) implies emotional burnout. Only thing keeping her alive now is getting more and more high at other's expense. Experience anything, no matter how counter-productive (smoking, stealing Hisao's pills..). Typicall.
Philosophy - apathic view that nothing matters in long time if you don't have life to use it. Coward, afraid that pursuing any path will end before reaping the fruits. Has only words to back up her arguments (that affair with bears/roof/tree doesn't matter, since she places no value on her life) and said clearly that she's afraid of pursuing realtionship with Hisao. One could say she's a bit like Socrates - rational but using reason mostly for fooling around, not caring about anything material (Still having annoying levels of self pity). As for that death fixation.. her reactions in second sex scene + 'beaten dog' aftermath prove she doesn't really know what she's talking about.
Attitude - selfish, out of touch, manipulative. Most she expects from relationships are things that will make her feel better. Doesn't have strong emotional feelings or oppinions about aquitances or friends. Quite likely sociopathy learned from too much hospital isolation and keeping in touch with people on the edge. All her 'mirror image' thing originates from isolation and maybe misunderstandment, or even from desire to be with someone so great like herself.
Future - probably getting married to some old prick and persuading money out of him. Continue ad nauseum.
Your whole post really made me grin. Thank you. This is a very perceptive reading of my story and I appreciate it, even though I disagree with many of your conclusions (and I won't say which ones). I try to keep pretty good notes on my characters and their motivations, though, and this kind of feedback helps me understand how clearly my ideas are coming across. I love the analysis. Again, thanks a lot for taking the time to share your views, strange though they may have been. To quote Doomish, "I live for this shit."

Thanks again to everyone for the replies. Two new scenes are going up soon.