Chapter Thirty-Three: Dissonance
~~~~Suzu~~~~
I can’t believe I’m here… I’m so damn nervous, it’s unreal. I can’t believe he agreed to meet me here…
“Afternoon, Club Prez! Hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long.” Akio gives his usual goofy grin, bringing his cane to his side. He cleans up rather well, all things considered. I hope he likes my outfit…
“No, I only got here about fifteen minutes ago.” I lie through my teeth. I’ve been here for over an hour. I feel tired already and we haven’t even begun.
“I don’t know why we had to meet in the city for our little chat though…” He wrinkles up his nose and looks around at the crowds.
“Because I wanted to buy some fresh books for the club room before the new semester and thought this would be a good opportunity to show you what you’re missing.” I smirk and he laughs.
“So this is a trap? I shoulda known…” Akio shakes his head in amusement before stepping to my side and offering his arm.
“Not a trap… More of a cunning ruse!” I grin, slipping my arm around his and guiding him to my favourite book store. “But seriously, I didn’t want to buy these books and have an episode…” I admit, a little forlornly.
“I wouldn’t be much of a right-hand man if I let my Club President become prey for miscreants and molesters, now would I?” He jokes but the thought sends my blood cold. I’m glad he’s here.
“I’m not too sure I’m much safer with you, to be honest.” I snark and he laughs.
“Are you suggesting I’m some sort of sexual deviant?” He press his palm to his chest in mock horror. “Just for that, I’m leaving you on the damn bus.” He sticks his tongue out playfully.
God, I’ve missed this. The only damn member I can rely on not to patronise or coddle me for my condition. He’s witty, capable and charming. He’s the glue that holds my club together and I’m glad to have him back.
“Sorry, I haven’t been around as much, Suzy.” It’s not often he calls me by name, even less so by that nickname.
“Don’t worry, Akio. You’ve just been supporting a classmate, I knew you’d come back eventually.” I smile demurely.
Hoped is more the word I meant.
“I’m just glad to have helped Hanako come out of her shell. After spending so long being a burden to everyone, it was nice to be useful for a change.” He looks down, blushing slightly.
“You’ve
always been useful to me. You keep the club running while I’m… indisposed.” I say sincerely, internally lamenting that I have to rely on him to wrangle the club members.
“To be honest, it’s mostly telling the others not to draw on your face.” He says smiling. I playfully punch his arm in retaliation.
“Don’t be an asshole.” I giggle. “I bet it’s you who suggests it.”
“True, but I’d never defile a young maiden’s face in her sleep.” He puffs his chest out with a smirk. Does he realise what he’s suggesting? What am I talking about, of course he does.
“I don’t know… I wouldn’t put it past you.” I snark him back.
“Is that what you
really think of me?” He purrs and my body shivers, goosebumps erupting all up my arms.
“Sh-shut up.” I blush slightly.
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Once books are bought and stowed safely in a plastic bag, we make our way to a lovely little café that Akio visited recently. It’s cozy in here. Isolated.
Intimate.
“So that was the catalyst for you calling me back in?” Akio laughs after I explain what happened with the club in the past few months.
“Yeah…”
“Huh. Gotta admit, Lezard’s got balls.”
“Don’t encourage him…” I scowl, bringing my ice-cold soda to my lips.
“C’mon, you’re telling me you
haven’t thought about using a quiet club room for your own salacious needs?” He leans in, using the teasing tone that irritates and amuses me in equal measure.
“I’m the C-club President, it would be improper…” I blush and he smirks.
“I’m not hearing a ‘no’, Suzy~.” He lilts his voice ever so slightly as he sips at his own drink.
“Screw you, Akio…” I say quietly.
“And that’s sounding like a fan-ta-syyyy~.” His voice goes higher and I kick him under the table.
“I w-wouldn’t do anything like that…” I’m a liar and I think Akio knows it but he has enough tact not to say it out loud, simply settling on giving me a devilish smirk. I squeeze my legs together a little and feel more than a bit flushed, the ice in my soda doing little to cool me off.
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We finish up in the café and decide to head home. The trip back to Yamaku is quiet, eerily so. I don’t even remember the journey but we find ourselves out in the no man’s land between the boys and girls dorms.
“I guess I better be off then. See you at the next club meeting?” Akio asks, disengaging his arm from mine. I meekly nod with a smile. He turns to walk away but I suddenly grab his hand firmly.
“Akio… Wait…” I whisper quietly. What am I doing? I’ve got my favourite club member back, that was the whole point of today.
“But it wasn’t, was it?” Akio asks, tilting his head with a smile as the colour vanishes from the world around us. Akio and I being the last two points of colour in a monochrome world. He… read my mind.
“N-no… I guess not…” I whisper and he turns to face me, stepping up to me and placing his hand on my shoulder.
“Suzu?” He whispers, leaning closer.
“Yes?” I ask as I close my eyes, leaning up to him.
“Suzu?” He asks again and I furrow my brow, leaning more to reach his lips faster.
“Yo, Suzu!” He calls one last time in a strange voice and I open my eyes.
“WHAT!?” I scream as I open my eyes, only for them to be dazzled by a sudden wash of dull florescent light. I rub my eyes and the girls’ common room comes into focus. Wasn’t I just…? I rub the back of my head a little and look around, two figures coming into focus. Miki and Akio.
“Ummm, hey?” Akio says nervously as he leans back in his sitting position on the floor.
“You okay there, short-stuff?” Miki asks from a nearby sofa.
“M’fine… Whasgoin’on?” I slur my words purposefully. I was dreaming… And now the object of that dream is sitting right in front of me. Just play along…
“I came over to ask about the club?” Akio offers. “Figured I’d try again since we missed each other during the summer.”
“Oh…
Yeah. You stayin’ in the club or what?” I frown a little, keeping up the dazed and confused act.
“Ummm, yeah. Can’t leave you alone with that sex-pest Lezard, can I?” He chuckles a little, rubbing the back of his head.
“Good man. Report to the club room at the usual time. Dismissed!” I give a tiny salute and flop backwards onto the sofa. He smiles as he gets up, giving a tiny salute of his own.
“Sure thing. See you around, Club Prez. See ya, Miki!”
I hear the tacking of his cane against laminate wood, then tile and the distant opening of the main doors.
“Played that off well…” Miki sighs, peering over her shoulder at the open aperture as I pull myself back into a sitting position.
“I talked in my sleep, didn’t I?” I sigh, pulling my knees up to my chest and holding them tight.
“Yeaaaah… Akio heard you say his name.” Miki says. “You’ve got it bad, huh?”
“I haven’t got anything. It was just a dream.” I bury my face in my knees, hoping to curl up into a tighter ball.
“Doesn’t seem that way…” Miki chuckles a little. “Sorry, Suzu. I don’t mean to laugh. Are you okay?”
“Fine. Totally fine.” Not even remotely.
“C’mon, Suzy…” I hear her shift in her seat then suddenly feel her arms around me. “You shouldn’t bottle up your feelings like that. It’ll eat you up inside. You should be honest with him.” She’s trying to reassure me and she has a point, I know that, but it’s so patronising… Especially coming from her.
“Like you’re one to talk.” I spit with a small amount of venom.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” She lets go and I turn to face her, my scowling eyes becoming red with emotion.
“Oh, please! You’re so deep in denial about Taro, you’re swimming to fucking Cairo.” I laugh bitterly at her.
“What the fuck, Suzy!? I’m not carrying a torch for Taro.” She responds, confusion giving way to irritation.
“Bullshit! You haven’t dated a single guy since him! Either the other guys just not measure up to his fat ass or you’re still holding out for him.”
“So what? You haven’t dated a single guy here
ever but suddenly you’re some sort of master of romance? Take your nose out of your books and your head out of your ass!”
“Fuck you, Miki. Do you know what I’d give to not be ‘Snoozu’, this delicate fucking china doll that people handle with kid gloves? To not live a half-life in between dreams, worrying whether or not I’m actually awake or if all this is just
another dream?”
I take a deep breath, Miki falling back a little in stunned silence. My voice cracks as a fresh surge of emotion erupts from my mouth.
“More than anything, I wish I was
you. Confident, strong…
Alive. Given the choice… To be more like you and less like me… I’d be more than willing to lose
my han--.”
SLAP
~~~~Miki~~~~
The sound reverberates around the room and Suzu looks at me with hurt eyes for a split second before she falls backwards. I grab her blouse instinctively and ease her down. I’m half-tempted to keep wailing on her…
She’s only lost muscle control, she’s completely aware of what’s going on. Completely vulnerable. I sigh heavily and shake those thoughts out of my head. I’m
better than that. I know damn well that Taro would think less of me for doing it too.
Focus, girl. Deal with the problem at hand.
Fuck…
I sling the small, sleeping girl over my shoulder and stride with purpose to her room. I use my spare key to open it up and think twice about dumping her just inside the door. I ease her into bed and cover her up. She can undress herself when she comes round.
I turn to leave and stop suddenly. I won’t hit her, but I can still make sure she gets the message. I know full well she can hear me.
“You
ever make light of my hand again and I will put you in a god damn coma. That’s your
one warning.” I growl at the sleeping girl. I walk out and lock the door behind me. I cradle my stump and release a heavy sigh, hoping every ounce of self-loathing and hurt in me will flow out and disappear into thin air. No such luck.
I return to the common room via the stair-well, stopping in my tracks as I’m met by a raven-haired girl returning from… wherever she and Molly went.
“A-are y-you okay, Miki?”
Nope…
“Just… Just a little bummed out right now, Hana.” I say with a twinge of sadness in my voice.
“Would you l-like to talk about it? I can make some tea…” She offers with those big eyes of her. I breathe a sigh through my nose.
“Not really but I wouldn’t say no to some tea. Thanks.” I say with a half-smile. I can’t say no to those puppy-dog eyes… She nods and gestures for me to follow.
~~~~Ritsu~~~~
“Oh, I was just coming to find you!” Taro says as he opens the door to my room from the inside, snapping me out of my own thoughts. How long have I been standing out here in the hall?
“Hey, yeah… The common room was busy. Couldn’t get snacks. Sorry.” I half-explain. There was an argument. One I shouldn’t have overheard…
“Well, we can always nip to the Shanghai if you’d like something to eat.” He says and I remain quiet, cogs slowly turning in my brain as I think back over the past couple years.
“Ritsu?” Better answer him, girl.
“S-sorry, I’m feeling a little under the weather… I think I’m getting menstrual cramps.” I rub my stomach a little, looking as pained as I can. Taro holds my shoulder with concern.
“Really? They come on that quick?”
“They can… Sorry, I think I’m just going to crash for a little while.” I offer a weak smile and he hugs me. I return the gesture, rubbing his back.
“Do you need anything?”
“Nah, I’ll be fine if I just rest for a while. See you tomorrow?” I look up and he smiles. That sweet, sincere smile.
“Sure thing. Love you.” He kisses me tenderly on the lips.
“Love you too. See ya, Taro.” I wave him off as he walks towards the elevator. I lock the door behind me as I step into my room and curl up on my bed, cradling my knees in my arms. My mind races as a dozen questions and events run through my mind like a certain track star.
How long did it go on for? They’ve always been close.
Was it happening
then? Our trio’s first outing to the Shanghai together.
Is there more to asking if he’s still breaking hearts? The moment Taro and I kissed.
Was he ever going to tell me? Finding out my mother was cheating on my dad.
What else is he hiding behind that smile? Taro and Miki. Together.
Laughing.
