Katawa Shoujo Forums

Guest Poster wrote:
That's probably a bit harsh. The dance and the physical contact between them at the end of the story definitely had a vaguely romantic undertone...and romance in turn by default carries a subtle sexual load...just not enough for either of them to take it any further than where they already are.

About Akira: I don't think Lilly sees Akira as merely a best friend who sometimes drops by. It's made clear in the story that Lilly and Akira are extremely close and little remains secret between them. (a big thing considering Lilly keeps most people at a polite distance and discloses very little about herself to others) Lilly and Akira have known each other all their life and Akira is probably the person who knows Lilly better than anyone else in the world. Their relationship is probably more complex than a typical sibling bond though since Akira has also been somewhat of a mother figure to Lilly for several years until they became less mother-and-child and more best friends. Interestingly, the developing bond between Lilly and Hanako is probably very much like the relationship between Lilly and Akira...just one phase behind.

I suppose you're right. Sorry. I just get frustrated with fan writers and artists who try to turn every relationship into a hentai story. I'm just a romantic I guess. I see their bond as strictly emotional. The warm feeling you get when being close to someone you care about, and knowing they love you in return. Women seem a lot better at this than guys. who usually just think that sort of thing is 'gay'.

And yeah, I guess I don't give Akira enough credit either. I guess we can sort of blame the VN for that. I don't seem to recall any scenes where they were actually displayed any enmotional closeness. Their scenes seemed pretty casual. I'd love to see a story where they actually behaved like close knit sisters.

It's mostly implied indirectly through subtle cues. Lilly making a sadface whenever Akira announces she has to split and Akira worrying about whether she's been able to be there often enough for Lilly in the past during her heart-to-heart with Hisao. Hisao himself notes his phone number isn't the only thing Lilly shares with her sister.

I doubt you'd have seen an emotionally intimate scene between the sisters in the game...Akira doesn't strike me as the huggy type to begin with. That doesn't mean she doesn't care about her sister. She does and very deeply at that.

pandaphil wrote:I just get frustrated with fan writers and artists who try to turn every relationship into a hentai story. I'm just a romantic I guess. I see their bond as strictly emotional. The warm feeling you get when being close to someone you care about, and knowing they love you in return.

In defense of us dirty-minded and romantic types, there is hardly anything more romantic than deep emotional love spilling over into the passionate and, yes, carnal. Plus, hey, we are dealing in a slight bit of fantasy-wolrd-ism here anyway, might as well take advantage.

But, as Guest Poster illustrates, we all have our own preference levels. You like none, he likes a light touch, I like more. De gustibus non est disputandum and all that.

pandaphil wrote: And yeah, I guess I don't give Akira enough credit either. I guess we can sort of blame the VN for that. I don't seem to recall any scenes where they were actually displayed any enmotional closeness. Their scenes seemed pretty casual. I'd love to see a story where they actually behaved like close knit sisters.

Also keep in mind that the game is told from Hisao's point of view. We only see what he sees. But there are a few things that show how close the two are. For one thing Akira is willing to drive out to see Lily, even if for a short time, and with a long drive. Also the scene where she tells Hisao about Lily's past, and their parents. Even the scene where she asks if Hisao and Lily are using protection. Yeah it's teasing, but she's also looking out for her little sister. I'd say Akira cares a lot for Hanako too. She cuts out of work early to drop in on Hanako's birthday party. I don't think that's the kind of thing you do without caring a bit about someone.

I guess I do still have a habit of making dumb observation don't I? Sorry.

I guess I like to think that love falls into three categories. Family love, Friendship love, and Romantic love. They're all nice in their own ways, and I get warm feelings from all three in the Lilly/Hanako arcs.

I suppose you're right about Akira. I forget not everyone is a heart-on-their-sleeve type like me. Though I do think I want to work an emotional Akira/Lilly scene into one of my fics.

It's good to see people are still talking about this amazing story. I personally consider it part of Hanako's canon, myself. I'm the hopeless romantic type, always hoping for that "and they lived happily ever after" type thing. Nobody dying, nobody breaking any hearts... just sweet, stable romance that all of KS makes us hope for, for the girl we love most. The memory of Hanako will live forever, and I will share her story with as many people as I can. That much is certain!

The fic does show Hanako fighting her demons for her happiness. Cause some things are just worth fighting for.

This was brilliant. Shout out to pandaphil for making me aware of this.

I am thoroughly impressed with how well you understand the characters, from sensing the same emotional wall Lilly was keeping up between herself and her friends that I did to the way you had them reconcile differences that were swept to the side in the original VN. The last chapter was very impactful, and the motivations of the characters involved made for very interesting reading.

I only disliked two parts. First is the bit at the start during which Akira made her "grilling" comment. The reaction from everyone made very little sense, given how long they've known each other, and Lily isn't really the type to point out things like that. Further, there's little reason for anyone to interpret that as a slight at Hanako, especially as Akira clearly would never have such intentions. Second... Well this is actually kind of praise. Chapter 16 was very painful for me to read. Since I was a child, part of my brain has always been repeating the word "worthless" as a mantra, and I've never been able to get it to stop, just ignore it. That Hanako's brain was working exactly the same way hit way too close to home.

I was very impressed with the arc of the story, none of it felt forced save for the parts you were rushing through (the first day they spent at Hokkaido, though I get that it was meant to essentially be the same day as the one in Lilly's route). None of the characters were presented as blameless, either, which I really liked, it made them feel more like people. It's hard to put into words why I am so impressed, to be honest, but I am really impressed.

I also have to applaud your ability and decision to write the erotica from Hanako's perspective (I wouldn't be surprised if you were a woman, yourself). The intimacy of those scenes was crafted perfectly (though your use of the term "sexual intercourse" felt self-conscious and stilted at times, in my opinion), and it really added tremendous depth to the characters, especially Hanako. You were in danger of making Hisao seem too mature about the whole thing, but you didn't fall into that trap, making his self-aware and shy nature as well as animalistic (the grinding in the first scene, silly as it may sound, really helped portray the character as someone who wasn't just some guide for Hanako, but a boy with something to gain for his own sake, which helped maintain Hisao's character).

I'll look forward to anything else you write.

I only disliked two parts. First is the bit at the start during which Akira made her "grilling" comment. The reaction from everyone made very little sense, given how long they've known each other, and Lily isn't really the type to point out things like that. Further, there's little reason for anyone to interpret that as a slight at Hanako, especially as Akira clearly would never have such intentions.

I think you managed to remark on my least favourite moment of the story. While re-reading it a few weeks back in order to compile a music list people were asking for, these lines managed to get a cringe out of me. So...I agree it feels forced. Sorry for making you read that.

Second... Well this is actually kind of praise. Chapter 16 was very painful for me to read. Since I was a child, part of my brain has always been repeating the word "worthless" as a mantra, and I've never been able to get it to stop, just ignore it. That Hanako's brain was working exactly the same way hit way too close to home.

Initially, I wasn't quite sure whether to do this part from Hanako's POV or Hisao's. I ultimately decided Hanako's made things more interesting. You're lucky Hanako's POV wasn't shown more during that part of the story. That particular week must have been sheer hell for her.

I was very impressed with the arc of the story, none of it felt forced save for the parts you were rushing through (the first day they spent at Hokkaido, though I get that it was meant to essentially be the same day as the one in Lilly's route).

That was kind of why I skipped it. I wanted to avoid blatantly retelling a scene that people already knew from the VN...I figured people'd get bored since they already knew 90% of what was going to happen next.

I also have to applaud your ability and decision to write the erotica from Hanako's perspective (I wouldn't be surprised if you were a woman, yourself). The intimacy of those scenes was crafted perfectly (though your use of the term "sexual intercourse" felt self-conscious and stilted at times, in my opinion), and it really added tremendous depth to the characters, especially Hanako. You were in danger of making Hisao seem too mature about the whole thing, but you didn't fall into that trap, making his self-aware and shy nature as well as animalistic (the grinding in the first scene, silly as it may sound, really helped portray the character as someone who wasn't just some guide for Hanako, but a boy with something to gain for his own sake, which helped maintain Hisao's character).

Thanks a lot. I'm a guy though, but it's good to hear you think I'm good at getting into Hanako's head. Truth be told, I simply told them from Hanako's POV because it made them more interesting. It's really hard to write H-scenes without resorting to stock phrases or Ikea erotica terms. They may have turned out that way if I had stuck with Hisao's POV. With Hanako, I was able to use her various thoughts as filler that'd be lacking if they had been told from Hisao's POV since there's so much that Hanako thinks that she ends up not saying out loud.

Anyway, thanks for the comments. I'm very honored.

Just thought I'd second everything Muliebrity said. I'm a huge fan of this story and I'd say it makes me at least as emotional as the VN. But then, you probably already know that.

Guest Poster wrote:Initially, I wasn't quite sure whether to do this part from Hanako's POV or Hisao's. I ultimately decided Hanako's made things more interesting. You're lucky Hanako's POV wasn't shown more during that part of the story. That particular week must have been sheer hell for her.

The pain was worth it, anyway, the feels hurt good.

That was kind of why I skipped it. I wanted to avoid blatantly retelling a scene that people already knew from the VN...I figured people'd get bored since they already knew 90% of what was going to happen next.

Yeah, I figured. I only commented on it because if this were a stand-alone story, like a real part of the route in the VN, that would have bothered me quite a bit, even if I'd already done Lilly's route.

Thanks a lot. I'm a guy though, but it's good to hear you think I'm good at getting into Hanako's head. Truth be told, I simply told them from Hanako's POV because it made them more interesting. It's really hard to write H-scenes without resorting to stock phrases or Ikea erotica terms.

You really did, her thoughts seemed appropriate for her level of experience and personality, which is very impressive for someone who isn't an 18 year old girl. I've never even considered writing erotica, but you've done such a good job I kind of want to now.

pandaphil wrote:Just thought I'd second everything Muliebrity said. I'm a huge fan of this story and I'd say it makes me at least as emotional as the VN. But then, you probably already know that.

Thanks for singing its praises elsewhere, I would never have known about it, otherwise. And yes, I felt it had at least as much emotional impact as the original VN.

In some ways, choosing Hanako's Bad End in canon for that outburst on Lily is somewhat better. At least, Lily couldn't see that nightmare face when Hanako exploded.

YZQ wrote:In some ways, choosing Hanako's Bad End in canon for that outburst on Lily is somewhat better. At least, Lily couldn't see that nightmare face when Hanako exploded.

No joke. That's why I'll probably never face her bad ending. I couldn't bear having her look at me that way.

For me the thing that makes Hanako's bad ending even worse is the face she makes after her outburst. That face filled with Regret. She immediatly regrets what she said, but it's already too late. She and Hisao can't face each other after that.

Getting back to an older conversation, I always figured Akira and Lily had to be close. There was a period of time where effectivly they were the only family each other had. And while Lily may come across more mature, Akira is more world wise. I also have to think that Akira is the one who gave Lilly "The Talk." Or for hilarity Hanako. Oh great, now I gave myself another fanfic idea.

Exactly. The thought that in one shot shes just rejected the two people in the world shes closest instead of just telling them how she felt breaks my heart. Its like shes lost her family a second time.

Negativedarke wrote:
Getting back to an older conversation, I always figured Akira and Lily had to be close. There was a period of time where effectivly they were the only family each other had. And while Lily may come across more mature, Akira is more world wise. I also have to think that Akira is the one who gave Lilly "The Talk." Or for hilarity Hanako. Oh great, now I gave myself another fanfic idea.

Do eet!