Comrade wrote:The meeting may now begin
Excellent! Let's play Angel's Advocate for
KS: Bloodline.
If I had bothered to remember the blurb describing this story as I dug my way into the first few chapters, I would've known from the start that one of the big things to worry about going in is the
SETTING. This story takes place at Yamaku a number of years after KS. This is an orange flag. Going into KS's future is one of many literary pathways that can completely destroy a fic. Bloodline, however, was having none of that; in fact, the reader
doesn't even know that the story takes place in the future until the main character mentions something that happened 'back in 2021'. That sentence itself felt a little thrown-in, and the author could perhaps even have not said anything at all, but honestly, the way things are now plays out fine. The fact that the story says so little about its setting is exactly what keeps it from being overbearing, which is the main downfall of futuristic settings in non-sci-fi works. It's important to note, though, that this story could not
possibly have taken place in the present, which is the other reason why the setting works so well. It's all too easy to simply plug a completely normal story into a futuristic setting when it doesn't need it, but this story managed to revolve around events in the future without overdoing it.
Speaking of the story revolving around things, let's delve into the
PLOT (it's what we read it for). The plot, although it has some slow moments, is in-depth and captivating. I'll be honest, even with the setting so well done, I wasn't sure that I wanted to read about future people. Then the story got going. I definitely want to read about future people now. The author has a nice way of hopping from one bright plot point to the next, always finding somewhere to go. I mentioned some slow parts, but the story doesn't slow down at any point because nothing's happening, rather, because something important is just about to happen. Given that the work Yaso is doing in act 2 is literally some of the least desirable paperwork there is, it would be easy to make those chapters all about how boring things are. This doesn't happen. Even the most monotonous tasks ever serve only as a background for important events to happen on, like the very last scene with Midori in the tea room. That scene should by all rights have been horribly boring; instead, we got an internal fear of expulsion and Ms. Satou, some wonderful conversation, a handshake that lasted a bit too long but who can blame them, and a wonderful narrative on hugging.
Speaking of hugging, let's take a look at what I'm going to call
INTERPERSONAL RELATIONS, because "romance" would be too strong a word. Not that I wasn't expecting romance (and not that it wasn't right about to goddamn happen), but the author just never quite wrote that far. So, how do people interact with each other? All of the characters introduced seemed to work organically, with one obvious exception mentioned below. From day one, everyone Yaso met acted in a justifiable way, even if it wasn't always obvious at first. We saw some painfully obvious parallels to KS, but hey, it was bound to happen, and they weren't
that bad. This story goes very much in the same direction as KS because the main character has such a dreary outlook on things when he arrives at Yamaku, and this is made clear during the race with Nakai, who 100% understands Yaso, adding to the list of characters that were done exactly right. Props to the author for his characterizations, and by extension (given that it's a first-person narrative), their dialogue and character interactions.
Next up, the one problem I had with the characters, or rather the characters I had one problem with:
FAMILY. First off, some of the family dynamic felt a little forced. Maybe it's to do with who Yaso is, but the level that he sees his family on and the level that they stooped to during the time after his stroke seemed a bit drastic. Again, these aren't characters I made, so I can't dictate their motives, I'm simply saying that to me, they felt a little overdone. Things got a bit better, ironically, with the scene at the Shanghai involving Toshiro. To me, that scene told me that a lot of Yaso's relations with his family have to do with how he perceives them, and not necessarily how they truly act towards him. So, even though I had problems with the way the main character's family is presented, a lot of it could well be because of the simple fact that we only ever see Yaso's family in the light that he portrays them, again, because of the first-person narration. So, rather than necessarily being a characterization weakness with his parents and brother, perhaps this is a characterization strength with the main character.
Finally, let's cover the
WRITING. I'll come right out and say it: there were quite a few spelling/grammar errors. Not
a lot, certainly not enough to make it the most noticeable thing about the story, but enough that I was tempted to start correcting them even though the author hasn't posted anywhere since August of '13 (as far as I can see). Some people in the comments suggest getting an editor, which I would certainly recommend (I'd offer myself, to be honest, if it were an ongoing issue). All harsh words said, though, the text is 100% readable, and although there were parts where I grumbled, all in all, it doesn't take much away from the fantastic storyline. Writing also encompasses the section lengths, and I'll say that I really wanted the chapters to be longer, although that may not have been for the best; as mentioned above, the author jumps from important event to important event, with little filler or break time, and perhaps a higher word count would have removed this effect. I suppose this is all just driven by my desire to see more of this story, because I absolutely
loved it.
So, on a scale of 1 to 4116, where 1 is accidentally spilling tea on yourself and 4116 is getting a hug from the best piano player this side of midnight, "
KS: Bloodline" is "
ABSOLUTELY AMAZING."
For me, at least, that means we went from the best story we've covered thus far to the worst.
)